The sign in the road says we're going nowhere.
Can someone, someone please tell me where I went wrong?
I done my time on the city streets.
I been running down this dead end street.
I been running down a dead end street.
I wanna rip through all the faces of the fools I see.
And I know I'll never get away
'cause the gutter taught me early that there ain't no better days for me.
I guess my childhood broke my heart.
Down in the projects you learn pain from the start.
That's where I learned to hate the world,
Just another lost soul praying to the night sky alone...
And how many more times will I have to sing this same old song?
Can you tell me, tell me please, tell me where I went wrong?
And how many more times
will I have to sing this same old sad, sad fucking song?
Y'know that corner took a piece of me and my heart
And made me an enemy of the world.
Just another lost soul praying to the night sky alone.
I wanna rip through all the faces I see.
I'm lost forever on this dead end street.
I'll leave this epitaph that no one will read...
The camera turns on, revealing clips of various things that has occured in the past several weeks. Some of the highlighted images include: Shane Donovan sinking the SS Wifey, the matches that set up tonight's #1 Contendership to the World Title Tournament Finals, JNX rescuing Leah Petrelli from a falling crate, and Dan Black being hung upside down by Roxy Erikson.
The cameras then give shots of Jean-Paul Lacklan beating down his various opponents, Morgana defeating Julian Brown and Johnson Jackson, Adora making Shane Donovan submit with a Dragon Sleeper, and Destiny Daniels attacking her from behind.
The final shot is that of the 6-man tag from the last Eternity, and the final occurences of the match, including Stevie Swing accidentally kicking Morgana in the face. Next, the cameras fade out and reopen inside of the arena that Dead End Road is being held in.
For those who have been following Sin Wrestling, this is the first in-arena event since Chris Extreme burnt down the building at Over the Top Rope 3. Needless to say, the fans are pumped and ready for tonight's action.
and there is violence in my heart
The speakers go silent for a moment and the all of the lights in the arena go out before the full music picks up loudly throughout the arena.
Hear it coming now?
Can you hear it now?
On hands and knees
We crawl
You can not stop us all
our bones our skin
We will not let you in
Nikita appears on the stage to blue strobe lights flashing to the beat of the music. She stands momentarily, hands on hips and feet shoulder width apart in a strong stance before making her way down to the ring. When she reaches the bottom of the ramp, she runs towards the ring, sliding in, and spinning around to face the stage on her belly. After leaping to her feet, she awaits the beginning of the match.
Lex Robinson: Here we go, Steve! We're on the air! It's a Dead End Road and you've just walked right into the course of action.
Steve Hebert: Well, that's the corniest thing I've ever heard.
Lex Robinson: Good because it just gets worse from here!
Steve Hebert: Oh joy!
Lex Robinson: Starting things off tonight, we have a miniature battle royale! And get this, Steve: the first person to be eliminated.... they get fired!
Steve Hebert: Yes! I love public humiliation! Give it all to me, baby!
Lex Robinson: And the winner receives $25,000 dollars and a Purity Title shot.
Steve Hebert: Eh, where's the fun in that?
Lex Robinson: Let's ask Nikita, who is now in the ring, showing to be the person competitor in this shindig.
No prematch music.
The lights go out. The only thing luminating the arena is the sea of camera flashes. A handful of seconds pass by, when the lights come back up, and Rash is standing on the back, left, top turnbuckle, posing for the audience. Mixed reactions erupt, mostly boos, but a few fans show their appreciation with cheers, whistles, and signs. Rash dispells the negative reactions with his Super-Who-Gives-a-Fuck powers.
Steve Hebert: Holy fuck, it's Spiderman!
Lex Robinson: Uhm... no, that's Rash.
Steve Hebert: I had a rash once. I couldn't sit down for a week.
Lex Robinson: Uh... no.
Steve Hebert: Don't make me rub that rash on your face.
Lex Robinson: Who's out next?
Steve Hebert: My rash will be!
Lex Robinson: [sigh] Anyhow...
"Streets of Bakersfield" by Dwight Yoakam and Buck Owens plays over the arena loudspeakers, as the crowd lets out a large cheer for the entrance of the Streets of Bakersfield 2.0, lovable misfits to the Sin Wrestling audience. A large cloud of smoke fills the top of the entranceway, as a pickup truck appears at the top of the ramp with Buck Travis behind the wheel. He honks twice and The Masked Day Laborer runs out from one of the wings and hops into the flatbed as Buck Travis drives himself and his employee for a day to ringside.
Steve Hebert: Now that's one gremlin of a truck.
Lex Robinson: What if one of the Streets of Bakersfield are forced to retire?! What will happen to the other one? I mean... The Masked Day Laborer can't even talk... or won't talk... or something.
Steve Hebert: God, who cares? They're just gross old Mexicans and hillbillies. Getting their smelly assholes out of here will do wonders for this place.
As a loud booming sound is heard, the music of "Broken" by Seether and Amy Lee hits the PA system. Suddenly, a voice can be heard being emitted from it...
"I am the one that you dream about."
On the large screen, the face of Hecate is shown, slowly fading away only to reveal her tombstone. Standing next to the tombstone is Flame, who can be seen with a tear dropping from his face, which soon turns from sorrow to pain. Without warning, the flashing stops and silence covers the arena. Once again, a booming sound is heard and fire shoots from the turnbuckle pads, revealing Flame standing in the middle of the ring, the crowd lightning up with excitement, due to his presence.
Lex Robinson: Now in the ring is former World Champion, Flame.
Steve Hebert: We're flamin'! We're all on fire. It's about to get hot in here. Someone take off my clothes. Lex, you do the honors.
Lex Robinson: Finished yet, Steve?
Steve Hebert: Hell no, this place is ablaze!
Lex Robinson: Didn't think so.
Steve Hebert: If it gets any warmer in here, the place will explode. I'm telling you now, Lex. Hell, Flame is a walking corpse, so there's no telling what will happen! You know how those zombies are, Lex.
Lex Robinson: But... uh... is there anyone else left to come out?
Steve Hebert: Where's that Tony Millennia? We need an old drunk in here. We have just about everything else -- an amputee, Spiderman, a hillbilly, a Mexican and a zombie. Having an old drunk in there will complete everything.
"Love Is Not Enough" by Nine Inch Nails starts up, and as the lyrics and guitars kick in, the lights go out, dulling to a few deep red spotlights at either side of the entryway.
...
Lex Robinson: Uhm...
Steve Hebert: Hmmm...
"Love Is Not Enough" by Nine Inch Nails starts up again; but still nothing.
Steve Hebert: Shouldn't Tony Millennia be out by now?
Lex Robinson: You would think so!
Once more, the song is played...
Lex Robinson: ...And nothing; no one. No one at all is coming out.
Steve Hebert: Tony Millennia has obviously fallen into a puddle of his own vomit.
Patience wears thin for Rash, who bolts forward, lunging out of the car towards The Masked Day Laborer, striking him from behind with a stiff fist to the back of his neck, dropping the masked wrestler to his knees. Seeing this, Buck Travis instantly steps into action, coming up from behind on Rash, grabbing him by the neck.
Lex Robinson: Here we go!
Steve Hebert: Good. Fuck Tony Millennia, let's get this shit started.
Lex Robinson: It already has! In fact, Buck Travis is chopping the life out of Rash's chest. On top of that, Nikita is then decked by Flame, who also wastes no time in getting things started.
Steve Hebert: That's the smartest thing Flame has ever done, which is saying something.
Lex Robinson: Buck has Rash backed into the corner, where he continues chopping and punching at him. He tries for a discus-punch, but Rash sees it coming and decides to duck down, resulting in Buck smashing his hand off the turnbuckle pad. Right away, Rash grabs Buck's head and attempts to dump him over the top rope!
Steve Hebert: Good! Get rid of that stinky redneck!
Lex Robinson: He's not going anywhere, though. Just as quickly as Rash tries to heave him to the floor, The Masked Day Laborer storms up behind Rash and literally kicks him in the... uh... bum.
Steve Hebert: Ouch! What a kick in the ass! What a move. I gotta give him props.
Lex Robinson: I'm sure.
Applying a headlock, The Masked Day Laborer grabs Rash, trying to restrain him, only to see Flame walk in, looking for trouble. With his chest poofed-out, Flame looks to grab onto The Masked Day Laborer, who still has Rash's head tucked between his arm and side. Sensing danger, The Masked Day Laborer hits a climbing enziguiri on Flame, knocking him onto his face, while dragging Rash down with a headlock takedown.
Lex Robinson: The Masked Day Laborer hits two birds with one stone! He takes down both Flame and Rash.
Steve Hebert: But Rash is right back up and he charges at The Masked Day Laborer, who has his back turned to him.
Lex Robinson: However, The Masked Day Laborer looks over his shoulder, ducks down and thereby casues Rash to hustle past him.
Steve Hebert: Right into a second-rope dropkick from Nikita, no less!
Lex Robinson: Things just go worse for Rash.
Steve Hebert: That's what he gets for rolling around in poison ivy and fucking that girl with the herpes!
Lex Robinson: Steve just doesn't "get it".
Steve Hebert: Oh, I "get it". I "get" everything. Trust me.
Lex Robinson: I'm sure. Turning around, Buck Travis sees the fracas occuring in the middle of the ring and steps across, tapping The Masked Day Laborer on the shoulder, hoping to use him for some help. Together, they stomp on Rash, who tries to fight back off, but is halted, thanks to Nikita delivering a second dropkick; this time connecting against his back!
Steve Hebert: Thankfully, though, that dropkick pushes Rash forward, causing him to bump into the Streets of Bakersfield, knocking them backwards. That should buy him some time to rise to his feet.
Lex Robinson: Damn right it does. After shrugging Nikita off, using an elbow to strike her in the nose, Rash charges towards both members of the Streets of Bakersfield and leaps at them with a crossbody attempt!
Steve Hebert: Agh! They catch him! They're able to keep a standing base by holding onto the top rope!
Turning around, the Streets of Bakersfield go to dump Rash to the floor, figuratively giving him his pink-slip. However, as they place him on the top rope, Flame storms up behind both Buck and the Masked Day Laborer.
Lex Robinson: Wait, here's Flame...
Steve Hebert: Someone's going to catch on fire... or get fired! Har har.
Lex Robinson: God, how dreadful.
Steve Hebert: You asked for it.
Lex Robinson: With Buck Travis's and The Masked Day Laborer's back turned, Flame is able to sneak up behind them, grab onto their legs, lift them up and throw them both to the floor, along with Rash! Holy shit!
Steve Hebert: Who is it? Who's fired?!
Lex Robinson: Is that your number one concern, Steve?
Steve Hebert: Yes, it obvious is! Now, who is it?
Lex Robinson: They all hit at the same time! All three of them hit the floor at the exact same time! What the hell?
Eliminated: Buck Travis, The Masked Day Laborer, Rash
Lex Robinson: I... I guess they're all fired. Hell, I don't know.
Steve Hebert: Look, that's good enough for me! Three times the firing... all because of that big bowl of fire, Flame! He shoots fire out of his cock, too, I bet.
On the floor, Buck Travis and The Masked Laborer look on, obviously confused and frustrated; receiving their pink-slip from the referee. The same can be said for Rash, who looks on, trying hard to decipher what just occured.
Steve Hebert: Security, get these guys out of here. They don't work for us!
Lex Robinson: Shut up, will you?
Steve Hebert: Hey, it's true!
The referees force Buck, The Masked Day Laborer and Rash to the back, thereby leaving Nikita and Flame alone in the ring. Flame, who is appearing much different and aggressive than normal, steps towards Nikita, sending various threats towards her. Nikita, having the fighting spirit of John Rambo, does not hold back.
Lex Robinson: After receiving an elbow to her face from Rash, Nikita composes herself and charges towards Flame, who does not back down. As he steps to the side, he allows Nikita to run in front of him, resulting in him wrapping his arms around her with a waistlock. Using a release German suplex, Flame goes to fling Nikita across the ring, but she is able to 360 over and land on her two feet!
Steve Hebert: Go figure.
Lex Robinson: She charges back at him, waiting until he is up to one knee, hoping to hit him with a Shining Wizard, but he ducks beneath the knee! Hopping back up, he turns around, grabs Nikita by her hair and tugs her back. He swings his right arm forward, hitting her with a vicious clothesline to the back of her neck, toppling her onto the canvas!
Steve Hebert: He's flamin' up! He's on fire! Just like in NBA Jam!
Lex Robinson: Never forget the Tournament Edition.
Steve Hebert: Lex, you're too old to remember NBA Jam, you poser.
Lex Robinson: Hey, I have kids.
Steve Hebert: ...You do?
Lex Robinson: Yes, Steve.
Steve Hebert: Oh. Kids are lovely; brothers and sisters and all that shit. You know, Flame has a brother, too.
Lex Robinson: Yes, I know that... Paradox. He's been in SW.
Steve Hebert: Oh. Oh yeah. I forgot. I bring this up because Paradox is currently standing in the ring.
Lex Robinson: Say what?
Steve Hebert: Look, you moron!
Standing above Nikita, "Flame" gives her a kick or two, only to wash off the face-paint and remove any sort of resemblance to the former World Champ. With no face-paint, Paradox now stands in the ring, revealing that he has been the reborn "Flame" all along.
Lex Robinson: Holy shit... you're right! That's... Paradox! I thought he was gone from Sin Wrestling!
Steve Hebert: Well, you obviously thought wrong. You also thought wrong about Flame being reborn. Zombie don't exist, Lex, you dummy. I knew it! I knew it all along!
Lex Robinson: But you're the one...
Steve Hebert: Oh no, don't try that brainwashing stuff on me. Things are all down to Paradox and Nikita, now. Tony Millennia is nowhere to be found; and those other three are gone, who's going to win this goddamn Purity Title shot and the 25k? It'll be Paradox, that's who! He pulled the wool over everyone's eyes! All you no-good do-gooders wanted your little Flame back; but he's gone! He's dead! Only Paradox remains! This is Paradox getting out of Flame, that dead bastard's, shadow!
Lex Robinson: Jesus, calm down.
Steve Hebert: I am calm! Don't tell me what to do!
Free of the face-paint, free of the shadow, Paradox hovers over Nikita, lifting her up to her feet and then elbows her into the back of her skull. Still with a handful of Nikita's hair, Paradox slams her face against the top turnbuckle, turns her around and then unloads with a series of kick to her stomach.
Lex Robinson: Flameadox is striking Nikita over and over again!
Steve Hebert: It's just Paradox. Come on, now. To add to that, he has nearly stomped her vagina in! No more cock for her! We all know she is queen slut of slut-town, so that's going to kill her.
Lex Robinson: I'm surprise you didn't mention anything about her marrying Stryker Graff and having sex with him.
Steve Hebert: Oh yeah! That reminds me! Poor Stryker Gr--
Lex Robinson: Ugh... I knew I shouldn't have brought that up.
Whipping Nikita across the ring, Paradox uses all of his might to fling her from one corner to another. Watching as she smashes back-first against the opposite set of turnbuckles, Paradox storms in, hoping to hit an avalanche splash!
Lex Robinson: Nikita moves out of the way and Paradox crashes into the buckles! That impact was enough to almost send Paradox over the top rope, too!
Steve Hebert: Well, that's certainly not good!
Lex Robinson: Aware of this, Nikita tries to capitalize on Paradox's mistake, by coming up behind him and pushing him over the top rope! Luckily for him, Steve, he is able to hang onto the top rope, keeping him in the match.
Steve Hebert: Only those two remain, too. It's all about winning that goddamn money. Which also reminds me... if Paradox wins, do you think he'll blow it all on smack, or what? I bet he will!
Lex Robinson: I sure hope not.
Steve Hebert: That's the Flame family for ya. Despite trying to walk out of Flame's shadow, Paradox remains in the fucked-up path.
Lex Robinson: Unable to eliminate Paradox by throwing him over the top rope, Nikita focuses on the back of his head, striking him with some high-rising forearm shots. Eventually, these shots knock him chest-first against the turnbuckle pads, prompting Nikita to climb behind him, standing on the second rope.
Steve Hebert: Come on, Paradox. If you really want to step out of Flame's shadow, you'd turn around, bite Nikita in the twat and then toss her to the floor, while the bitch is bleeding.
Lex Robinson: He's not a cannibal, as far as I know.
Steve Hebert: He should be, then! Look at him... his face against the turnbuckles, being a victim to those pounding forearm blows to the back of his poor head!
Lex Robinson: Nikita isn't leaving it at just that, either. Seconding those forearms to the back of his head and neck, she begins to claw at his eyes. That'll... uh... blind him, I guess, which will make him unable to... uh... find her to eliminate her! Yeah!
Steve Hebert: Ridiculous! Those nails should be illegal!
Struggling to free himself, Paradox/"Flame" squirms in the corner, sending arms and elbows flying in every direction; his right elbow smashing Nikita in the side of the face, jarring her. This sudden burst of energy is just enough needed for him to progress, as he is able to send Nikita flying backward with one final shove, heaving her halfway across the ring.
Steve Hebert: Finally, the bitch is down!
Lex Robinson: She gets right back up, though!
Steve Hebert: Paraflame turns around, only to see Nikita run in at him. She's about to hit a running forearm shot, when he brilliantly rises his left foot, catching her square in the jaw, knocking her senseless!
Lex Robinson: Stumbling back, Nikita holds her face, looking for salvation, but sees nothing except for Paradox storming out of the corner, like a freight train! Stepping to her right, she is able to have him bypass her, which allows her to go behind him, leap up onto his shoulders and try for some sort of rollthrough attempt. However, he ducks down, gently placing her on her two feet...
Steve Hebert: Only to then swing her around, kick her in the gut and then position her in a standing headscissors!
Lex Robinson: Jeez, you're right. He hoists her up onto his shoulders, but she fires back with some punches to his skull, sending paint fragments splintering off his forehead. She's struggling to survive... despite Paradox trying to powerbomb her down!
Steve Hebert: Oh Christ, she has his arm... she rolls back with a modified huracanrana, hoping to apply "The End"!
Lex Robinson: But Paradox rolls through, too!
Steve Hebert: Good! Thank fuck!
Lex Robinson: Despite having Nikita latched onto his right arm, Paradox is still able to pluck her off the ground, hoisting her back up onto his shoulders, displaying an amazing amount of strength! Again, Nikita hammers back with some fists, forcing Paradox to stumble against the ropes.
Steve Hebert: Oh, shitting Jesus, be careful! Don't let Nikitatits win this! Just think of all the smack you could buy, Paradox!
Lex Robinson: Nikita is hanging on... she is being draped over the top rope... but she is able able to maneuver her legs around Paradox's head, applying a headscissors of her own...!
Steve Hebert: Oh god!
Lex Robinson: Nikita huracanranas Paradox! The whip of the move is enough to send Paradox flying over the top rope and onto the floor! In the meantime, Nikita is able to squirm her way in over the middle rope, saving herself! Nikita wins! Nikita wins! Not only does she earn a Purity Title shot, but she is also granted $25,000!
Steve Hebert: Well, this is shaping up to be an awful night. Of course, at least we did get to see some good old fashioned firings. Mmmm, mmm, good.
After seeing Paradox stumble around on the floor, in a gigantic amount of disappointment, Nikita stands to her feet, flips him off and raises her hand into the air, watching as he exits to the back. She is then handed a sack full of 25,000 dollars, which she begrudgingly accepts.
Lex Robinson: Hmmm... what's her problem?
Steve Hebert: It's probably "that time of the month", if you know what I'm sayin'. Do you know what I'm sayin'?
Lex Robinson: Probably. She should be happy that she won, though. Think of all the nice things she can buy!
Steve Hebert: Exactly. She can buy guns, play with guns and eat guns. She oughta be gun'-ho.
Nikita stands around, waiting for her music to play. Instead, we hear something we've never heard before...
Lex Robinson: What the...?
Steve Hebert: Better yet, who the...?
The crispy sound of static blares over the arena. The fans are hushed, waiting to discover whose entrance this is. The static doesn't stop, no music kicks on, but a man in a suit comes out from the entranceway and arrogantly strides down the ramp.
Lex Robinson: Wait a second...
Steve Hebert: Who the Christ is this?
Nikita watches, perturbed and annoyed that her victory celebration has been interrupted. The man, wearing a black suit, complete with golden rimmed shades and black slicked-back hair, climbs into the ring and walks straight up to Nikita, with his hand extended.
Lex Robinson: Wait just a second...
Steve Hebert: What? My Jesus, what?
Lex Robinson: I know who this is!
Steve Hebert: Whoever it is, he's awfully friendly. Look at him shake Nikita's hand. He should have just grabbed those titties.
However, Nikita does not accept the gesture, and instead opts to turn around and walk away.
Steve Hebert: Oh snap. At least I think that's what the expression is.
Lex Robinson: That's... oh man, he's going to be pissed.
The suited man charges towards Nikita's right side, bounces off the ropes, and connects with a reverse bulldog.
Steve Hebert: Yep, I think so, too, Lex!
Lex Robinson: Holy crap!
The fans erupt with a huge mixed reaction, mostly negative. The debuting man calls for a microphone, immediately.
Man: Sin Wrestling's Dead End Road pay per view. The productions must have cost a bundle.
Steve Hebert: Pffft, as if.
The man pauses.
Man: As a matter of fact, it did cost a bundle. Out of the goodness of my heart, I decided to produce, market and sponsor tonight's show, Dead End Road. I, myself -- straight out of my own pocket. Sin Wrestling gladly accepted my gesticulation, without even considering what they could do for me in return. I'd call asking for small things: a match, microphone time, maybe even a small cameo in a backstage segment. Do you know what they told me? Do you know what they said?
The man lowers his head and holds his face in the palms of his hands, as he glows with anger. He explodes back into talking position.
Man: They told me no!
Steve Hebert: Those fucking pricks!
The man continues.
Man: I gave them money. Hard earned money I've made over the years from wrestling, producing shows and writing scripts. I gave and gave to this business, do they have the balls to tell me no? They have the spine to say no to --
The man sticks his nose in the air to really portray his arrogance.
Man: The King of Cable Access.
Lex Robinson: Oh god...
He rips off his sunglasses and slides them into his pocket, as the fans boo his moniker.
Jayson Keller: They wouldn't give me a second of time on my own damn show -- so I MADE a second of time. Congratulations on your win tonight, Nikita. I'm sorry your victory dance was short lived, but sacrifices must be made in order to pencil in someone of my caliber. All I wanted to say -- ALL I wanted to say was that creativity will be at an all time high in Sin Wrestling with The King of Cable Access working the creative helm. You'll be seeing a lot of me, so start saving money to buy my merchandise. I'd recommend the shirt with -...
Nikita starts to wake up, and Keller catches it out of the side of his eye. Seeing this, Jayson Keller casually drops the microphone, exits the ring and walks to the backstage area, leaving Nikita trying to figure out what just happened.
Winner: Nikita
Morgana: Good God, my head hurts.
Adora: My legs hurt.
Morgana: Screw this; my everything hurts. I'm never going on vacation again.
Adora: You say that now, but we work with too many raging douchebags to not want to get away every once in a while.
Morgana: You're right. In that case, I'm just not going to go on vacation with YOU anymore, since apparently we're shifty and defenseless in real life situations -- especially considering that, you know, we're wrestlers.
Adora: What were you going to do, moonsault the guys who kidnapped us? While tied to a chair, no less?
Morgana: Quiet, you. My point is that I'm definitely, definitely full of rage. Time to take it out on that asshat, Shane Donovan.
Adora: That sounds like it might require getting up.
Morgana: And we will!
Morgy attempts to rise to her feet in vain; she collapses back onto the couch, nearly crushing Adora in the process and groaning theatrically.
Morgana: Okay, new plan. We'll... sit here... until our match. Yes; that'll do nicely.
Adora: Works for me! I need to regain feeling in my body before going into a match and... losing feeling in my body. Huh; I actually think we might be at an advantage here. We're already so beaten up that we can't feel any more pain!
Morgana: Weren't you just complaining that your legs hurt?
Adora: Silence, woman!
Morgana whacks Adora in the leg with her ice pack, and the two women -- who, despite their bruises and dramatic moaning, don't seem overly hurt -- banter playfully as the scene fades.
Zzzzzzz...
Zzz...
Zzzzzz...
The sounds of snoring can be heard from behind a blue locker-room door. The person manning the camera pushes the door open, stepping inside, only to see Tony Millennia sitting on his bench, with his head laying against a pillow, snoring it up'. His eyelids are shut tight and he shows no resolve about missing his previous match, which is probably for the better.
Tony Millennia: Zzz...
The snoring gets louder and louder, as if Tony's adenoids have been ruptured. Suddenly, someone bursts in through the locker-room door, literally kicking it open.
Voice: Wake the Jesus up, goddamnit!
Scurrying into the scene is Chris Carson, the same man who threw Chris Extreme off a cliff, while Chris was locked in a casket; the same man who also drove Chris Extreme off a cliff, while Chris was locked inside of an ambulance.
Nevertheless, Chris Carson is here now and is standing in front of Tony Millennia, pushing and shoving at him, trying to wake him up.
Tony Millennia: Huh...? Who...? What...? Where the...?
Chris Carson: Wake up, you lazy useless bastard!
Tony Millennia: "The Creep"? What the hell are you doing here?
Tony, still in a sluggish haze, sees Chris Carson standing before him, trying to piece together the information.
Tony Millennia: Is it time for me to wrestle yet?
Obviously, Chris Carson shakes his head, disparingly.
Chris Carson: Your match is over!
Tony Millennia: What the fuck?
Chris Carson: You slept through your godforsaken match!
Tony Millennia: I... I... I did?
Chris Carson: Yes, you did. It's time for you wisen up. You're a former World Champ and everything. This place is crawling with women champion and it's time for all you "big, bad strong guys" to snap into reality. You guys should be beating this women within an inch of their life... not passing out, in a drunken stupor, in the backstage area!
Tony Millennia: Huh?
Chris Carson: Oh, shut up. I'm going to shape all you shit-stains up.
Chris Carson hoists Tony up to his feet and then helps him walk off. The camera then fades out.
Stevie Swing: Number nine. Number nine. Number nine.
The door doesn't open.
Steve Hebert: One of my favorites!
Stevie Swing: Number nine. Number nine.
Lex Robinson: That's just sad, Steve…it'll never work.
Steve Hebert: Should have gone with the Who.
The image fades out.
Steve Hebert: Whoa... it's... some guy!
Lex Robinson: That's Troy Huntley, Steve, another newcomer.
Steve Hebert: Oh, how interesting.
"Direction" by The Starting Line hits and Angel Ryann Felicity makes his way out towards the ringside area, where he slides inside, waiting for his match to begin.
Steve Hebert: Well Jesus, this guy looks awfully queer. Who is he?
Lex Robinson: That'd be Angel Ryann Felicity.
Steve Hebert: Huh? Wasn't he here before? Not that I specifically remember or anything; I'm just saying.
Lex Robinson: Yup, he was.
"Last Resort" by Papa Roach erupts over the sound system. The crowd boos heavily as Vodka walks out from the back. He shakes his head in disgust as he slides into the ring.
Steve Hebert: Holy shit! It's Chris Extreme Junior!
Lex Robinson: Uh, no, not quite, Steve. That's "Vodka"; aka Danny King.
Steve Hebert: Speaking of which, I could go for some vodka right now.
Lex Robinson: Calm down there, big fella.
The bell rings and the match begins.
Lex Robison: Holy crap, the man known as "Vodka", Danny King, immediately races across the ring, striking both Angel Ryann Felicity and Troy Huntley with forearm shots. First, he sends Troy Huntley into the corner, where he strikes him with some fists; and then, he grabs Angel Ryann Felicity, who actually tries to fight back, but is stopped when Vodka knees him in the groin.
Steve Hebert: Hmmm.. I like this Vodka fellow as much as I like the vodka drink.
Lex Robinson: You would, wouldn't you?
Steve Hebert: Yes.
Lex Robinson: He whips Angel Ryann Felicity into the corner, forcing him to crash into Troy Huntley, who remains in the corner, after having been punched in the head several times. Vodka charges in, hoping to hit a double high-knee shot, but Angel rolls out of the way.
Steve Hebert: That dirty bastard.
Lex Robinson: As a result, Vodka smashes into Troy Huntley, striking him with the two knees! Angel Ryann Felicity, meanwhile, comes up from behind Vodka, snap mares him over and then delivers a dropkick to the back of his neck. Popping right back up, Angel Ryann Felicity bounces off the ropes and returns with another baseball-slide dropkick, hitting Vodka in the face with both of his feet!
Steve Hebert: Ooooh.
Lex Robinson: Kicking-up to his feet, Angel goes to continue his punishment on Vodka, only to see Troy Huntley charge out of the corner, hoping to hit him with a clothesline. Sensing this, Angel ducks beneath the arm, grabs Troy and then back-suplexes him, forcing him to roll out to the floor. Again, he gets back up, only to walk right into a headbutt to the groin from Vodka.
Steve Hebert: Bald head to tiny cock. A very wise move.
Lex Robinson: Vodka strikes Angel Ryann Felicity with some punches, knocks him against the ropes and then starts... biting him! What the hell?
Steve Hebert: Vodka has obviously gotten Angel Felicity confused with a hamburger. It's a simple mistake, really.
The referee moves in, yanking Vodka away from Angel Ryann Felicity, but as this happens, Troy Huntley, from outside of the ring, trips Angel up and drags him to the floor. Out here, Troy strikes him with a vicious chop and then bashes his skull off the ring apron. He even tries to go for a suplex, but before he can get Angel up, the attempt is blocked; and instead, Angel suplexes Troy on the floor.
Lex Robinson: So much for that attempt by Troy Huntley!
Steve Hebert: The guy just found himself lying on his back. What a silly buffoon.
Lex Robinson: Getting back up, Angel Ryann Felicity climbs onto the ring apron, springboards off the top rope and hurdles through the air, connecting with a flying clothesline to Vodka! Angel drops down and goes for the cover...
Steve Hebert: Oh shit. Poor Chris Extreme Junior!
The count is made by the referee...
...1...2...
Lex Robinson: Vodka kicks out!
Steve Hebert: Phew!
Lex Robinson: After lifting Vodka up, Angel Ryann Felicity scoops him up and then bodyslams him back down. Turning to the corner, Angel begins to climb to the top rope.
Steve Hebert: But Troy Huntley is back on the scene; as he grabs onto that queer's foot, disabling him from jumping off. This allows Chris Extreme's son to stand to his feet and charge in, clubbing both men with punches, forearms and elbows, having Angel crotched on the top rope!
Lex Robinson: Vodka is even forcing Troy Huntley to climb to the top rope, making him stand next to Angel Ryann Felicity. Up here, Vodka applies a headlock to Troy Huntley, while placing a 3/4 facelock onto Angel. He leaps off, hitting a combination of a flying bulldog and a flying stunner! Goord lord! That has both men out!
Steve Hebert: And he's covering Troy Huntley! Chris Extreme's son is going to win.
Lex Robinson: Chris Extreme's son is dead. Nonetheless, Vodka is making the cover...
...1...2...
Lex Robinson: But Angel Ryann Felicity dives on Vodka, breaking the count!
Steve Hebert: That filthy, greasy prick!
Lex Robinson: Angel lifts Vodka up, kicks him in the stomach and hits The Liberator, his version of a snap-mare driver! The brunt of the impact causes Vodka to roll out to the floor, leaving only Angel and Troy inside.
Steve Hebert: Poor Julius Extreme.
Lex Robinson: For God's sake; for the last time, Chris Extreme's son is dead!
Both Angel Ryann Felicity and Troy Huntley get to their feet, with Angel being the first person up. Angel goes right for the jugular, as he strikes Troy with some crescent kicks, eventually knocking Troy into the ropes, where he is struck with a spinning back-fist from Angel.
Lex Robinson: With gusto, Angel goes to whip Troy out, but it gets reversed. Troy goes to throw Angel across the ring, but before he can get anywhere, Angel runs right into a knee from Troy Huntley, flipping him over!
Steve Hebert: Troy stands back and charges ahead, looking to clothesline Angel... but Angel side-steps it. Goddamnit.
Lex Robinson: Not only that, but Angel catches Troy's arm and swings him up, hitting him with The New American Nightmare! The cover is made by Angel Ryann Felicity!
...1...2...3!
Lex Robinson: Angel Ryann Felicity wins!
Before he can celebrate, though, Angel Ryann Felicity is decked from behind by Vodka, who is obviously angry of his loss. Pulling Angel into him, Vodka hits The Race War, jamming Angel Ryann Felicity's face into the canvas!
Steve Hebert: But my pal, Vodka, has the last laugh. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to have a drink of vodka.
Lex Robinson: This is awful. Angel Ryann Felicity just won the match, but "Vodka"... Danny King threw his little shit-fit and attacked him. How disgusting. What a pig.
Steve Hebert: Feh.
Proud of his beatdown on Angel Ryann Felicity, "Vodka" Danny King walks to the back, leaving Angel Ryann Felicity in a crumpled heap. Troy Huntley, on the other hand, lays on the floor, trying to figure out how he lost.
Winner: Angel Ryann Felicity
Steve Hebert: I wonder what selection Swing is going to play for us next.
Lex Robinson: The Sheik of Arabay.
Steve Hebert: What?
Swing takes a moment to tune his guitar…then starts strumming.
Stevie Swing: Standing in the dock at Southampton, trying to get to Holland or France. The man in the mac said you've got to go back, you know they didn't even give us a chance. Christ! You know it ain't easy, you know how hard it can be. The way things are going, they're going to crucify me.
He stops and continues...
Steve Hebert: Another classic! The Ballad of Stevie and Morgy!
Lex Robinson: Well, we've got a camera in Team Wifey's locker room; lets see how the champ is responding.
Steve Hebert: Maybe we'll catch them polishing Corey Page's knob!
We go live into Team Wifey's locker room, where Swing's guitar simply cannot be heard. Adora appears to be stretching, while Morgy is talking to her about the main event tonight...
Morgana: I swear, this is the absolute last time we're beating Shane Donovan. No more free handouts.
Adora: You said it, wifey.
We go back to Swing, who is finishing his song. Not even the sound of one hand clapping meets his virtuosity.
Steve Hebert: I kinda feel bad for Stevie.
Lex Robinson: What?
Steve Hebert: Uh... fuck Stevie Swing! And fuck you!
Again, the image fades out.
Matthew Moore: Tonight will be a night full of hatred. Three names that surely feel they're more superior than I. Let them fill themselves full of ego. Hell, let themselves get an orgasm going amongst themselves.
A slight chuckle comes out.
Matthew Moore: I'm going to make this short and sweet; because unlike my opponents, I don't like to take up time with useless chattering and bantering. Dr. Orange, Pink Panther, and Raiyn... they will all see just why. Just why I am what I made myself out to be,. Call it an easy victory -- because it was an easy victory -- but I made an example; just like what I'm going to do with you two three.
He stops, thinks to himself and continues on.
Matthew Moore: Narrator, I want you to narrarate this match, kid. When I take this match, and sweep your minds, I want you to try and say what you said in your boring promos... about me being mismatched and shit. I want you to reiterate those words because I'm seriously going to laugh my ass the fuck off. For now, I'll leave, but believe me when I say. It's not going to be as easy as you thought of it to be.
The next few seconds, smoke covers in Matthew Moore and all you see again, is the smoky fog in the background.
The eerie opening chords to "Passive" by A Perfect Circle plays, but more importantly, the opening chords to the man known as Raiyn's theme song hits the PA system.
"...But I just can't believe him, ever the optimistic one..."
The fans are on their feet for the mysterious anarchist known as Raiyn, the masked man, who is currently making his way out.
"I'm sure of your ability...to become my perfect enemy..."
As he approaches the top of the ramp, he pauses and looks out into the crowd. It is unclear as to what emotions he is expressing by the white clown mask that covers his face. However, he slowly bows before the crowd as he makes his way down the ramp.
"Wake up and face me, don't play dead, cause maybe someday..."
The fans reach out to shake his hand or give him a high-five, but instead, he merely tips his round top hat towards their direction, as a sign of respect, and continues towards the ring.
"Someday...I will walk away...and say..." He then walks up the steps and into the middle of the ring, as his entrance music begins to come to an end. He kneels in the middle of the ring, tilts his head upwards and extends his right arm towards the sky...
"...And say..."
He stands and throws off his cape.
A blaze of red pyrotechnics shoot up from the four corners of the ring, as he awaits the match to begin.
Steve Hebert: You know what disappoints me? All this prematch hype for for this faggot. How disgusting.
Lex Robinson: I concur... but in a general manner.
Steve Hebert: Damn right.
"So Sit Back And Hold Ya Breath"
"I Don't Know About Them, I Really Ran These Streets"
"So Listen Up As Shit Get Deep"
. the doctor is in .
Trumpets and 808s shatter the surface throughout the base of the floor, as "What You Talking Bout?" by Young Jeezy blares through the speaker system. The crowd boos in utter disgust as the arena is infested with Agent Orange that clouds the audience. Between the smoke, The Doctor, Devard Orange, steps out from the back; as he stands at the entrance ramp, looking like "the man". He slowly approaches the ring at his leisure, recklessly spitting on fans that get out of line in the process.
Steve Hebert: AGENT ORANGE?! That better not be real.
Lex Robinson: I hope not...
Steve Hebert: Ah, what am I saying? May as well kill everyone in atendance.
The theme to the Pink Panther plays, thus bringing out... well, the Pink Panther, along with his manager, The Narrator. They make their way to the ring, where they wait for the match to commence.
Steve Hebert: I swear that song never gets old.
Lex Robinson: And neither does that patented swag.
Steve Hebert: Damn, you're tellin' me.
Lex Robinson: For real.
~ I Am Your Enemy ~
~ I Am .... Matthew Moore ~
BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!
Yeah here we go for the hundredth time
Hand grenade pins in every line
Flow em up and let something shine
Going out of my fucking mind
Pyros from the edge of the entrance blaze up in red and white as the opening part of "Bleed It Out" by Linkin Park blares out through the system in the arena. Matthew Moore comes out in his attire, including a ripped, black, plain shirt and militant black pants with straps and holders all around it, and on the side a long dangling silver chain is from the right side of Moore.
Run myself out and no one cares
Dug the trench out lay it down there
With the shovel up out of reach somewhere
Moore normally walks down the aisle, ignoring the fans that want handshakes, as he approaches the ring. Moore brushes back his bangs, looks around, and rolls into the ring, under the bottom rope.
Just to throw it away
I bleed it out digging deeper
Just to throw it away
I bleed it out digging deeper
Just to throw it away
Just to throw it away
Just to throw it away
I bleed it out
Moore stands back up, as he backs up against the ropes. Once again, as he turns around, standing on the second rope, looking out at the audience in the arena. Mixed ovations become noticed, as Moore shrugs it off.
Drop your boys and the sloppy flow
Shotgun I put lock and load
Cock it back and then watch it go
Mama help me I've been cursed
Death is rolling in every verse
Candy paint on this brand new hearse
Can't contain him he knows he works
Practice hurts I wont lie
Doesn't matter how hard I try
Half the words dont mean a thing
And I know that I wont be satisfied
Moore finds himself a spot over in the corner, as he sits on the second turnbuckle, brushing his hair back once more, before awaiting his opponent.
Lex Robinson: We finally have all the wrestlers in the ring and this match is about to get underway.
Steve Hebert: About goddamn time, too, might I add.
The match begins as Pink Panther instantly opens up on Matthew Moore, while Devard Orange focuses on Raiyn.
LeX Robinson: As all four men fight dead center in the ring. Matthew Moore opens up early on Pink, as he kicks him in the chest and whips him into the turnbuckles. Charging across the ring, Moore flies straight towards him with a spear into the turnbuckle, forcing Pink to fall to the canvas.
Steve Hebert: You know, The Pink Panther looks familiar. Like an old Saturday morning cartoon character. I just can't put my finger on it.
Lex Robinson: Hmm.. you're right.
Steve Hebert: Eh... anyhow...
Lex Robinson: In the meantime, Raiyn has Orange in a headlock, which he manages to break free from, releasing him into the ropes. Matthew Moore intercepts the motionless Raiyn, and he hits him with a consecutive spear!
Early in the match, it's apparent that Moore's domination is being felt, as the fans are in an uproar. However, Matthew Moore approaches Orange, but is side-swiped as Pink regains composure and returns an exchange with a dropkick to the back of Moore.
Lex Robinson: Moore stumbles, as Orange approaches the staggered opponent. Orange, then scoop-slams him to the mat, as he turns his attention onto Moore.
Steve Hebert: That Raiyn guy, who is probably retarded and ugly, has regained conciousness from the attack and is back on his feet... only to be quickly brought back down to reality, as Pink Panther releases a springboard body splash off the ropes and knocks him down again. Typical ugly retard. What a Raiyn.
Lex Robinson: Pink goes for a quick cover...
...1...
Steve Hebert: But the masked, retarded guy easily kicks out. We're not over yet.
Lex Robinson: It appears Pink is wasting no time in this one, as he's trying to get this over as quickly as possible.
Steve Hebert: With the way Moore has been unleashing havoc so far, I don't blame him.
Orange approaches Pink, but then decides to continue his focus on Moore, as Matt counters and grabs the Doctor by his legs, bringing him down with a double-leg takedown. In an instant, Matthew Moore applies an elevated Boston Crab, dead center in the ring, having Dr. Orange lay there, in disbelief, trying not to submit.
Lex Robinson: The fans are on their feet as Moore continues to take control, as Doctor Orange is grieving in pain!
Steve Hebert: The good Doctor will have to give that goth an enema if he wants to escape this.
Lex Robinson: It's pretty obvious that Matthew Moore has found a weakness in the Doctor early on, and is capitalizing on it.
Steve Hebert: This match is going to be short-lived if someone doesn't do something fast.
Just as it appears Orange is about to yield to the submission hold, Raiyn collides with Moore, breaking the hold, as Orange recovers into the corner. Matthew Moore appears to be disgusted with the interference and simply drops Raiyn for the umpteenth time with a kick to the gut, followed by a Muscle Buster!
Lex Robinson: Bam! Moore just dropped the man known as Raiyn on his goddamn head! He looks to capitalize, but is halted by the Pink Panther, who, out of nowhere, hits a Swinging Neckbreaker!
Steve Hebert: Good! Do it for Yogi!
Lex Robinson: I just don't understand it, either.
Steve Hebert: What?
Lex Robinson: How can you possibly miss a person that damn bright in a ring that small?!
Steve Hebert: It's all that queer gothic makeup. It has to be.
Doctor Orange is back on his feet, again, as he continues to focus on the weakest-link of the match, Raiyn, setting him up for a little Open Heart Surgery with a superkick to the chest.
Lex Robinson: In the ring, Pink approaches Orange, and hits him for the first time in the match with a knife-edge chop. As a result, The Doctor looks stunned at being attacked, as he returns the favor with his signature move, the Breast Augmentation!
Steve Hebert: Slap the tits off that panther.
LeX Robinson: Meanwhile, Moore is back on his feet, as he quickly interrupts the slap-fest, grabbing both Pinkie and Orange by the head.
Steve Hebert: What a colorful combination, as he throws them towards each other, knocking heads with the other!
Lex Robinson: Orange's cranium is clearly not as hard as the Panther's, as he appears knocked out, his legs crumpling beneath him, while The Pink Panther a bit stunned. Seeing The Pink Panther stumble across the ring, Matthew Moore attempts an enziguiri, but miserably fails, as The Pink Panther catches his leg, and follows up with a jumping clothesline! Furthermore, Pink doubles up on the move, as he lifts Moore up, places him on the top rope and even superplexes him!
Steve Hebert: With Moore laid out, The Pink Panther covers the goth...
...1...2...
Out of nowhere, Raiyn arises from the dead, as he pulls the leg of The Pink Panther off Moore's laid out body.
Lex Robinson: Are you serious?! You mean, the same person that's been on his back more times than a prostitute, is the one that interrupts the 3 count? You've got to be kidding me!
Steve Hebert: I didn't interrupt the count, you dumb!
LeX Robinson: Not you! Raiyn!
Steve Hebert: Ooooh.
Pink looks disgusted, as he starts to unleash hell on Raiyn for stopping his apparent victory. As this happens, Moore staggers towards his feet and slowly approaches Pink, who is on a roll in the center of the ring, hammering away on Raiyn. Yet again, Pink drops Raiyn with a piledriver onto the mat.
Steve Hebert: Having laid out the retard, The Pink Panther is then interrupted by Matthew Moore, the gothic cousin of Michael, who turns Pinky around, unleashing a ferocious amount of punches at him, which the Panther returns with blows of his own. Speaking of blow, The Pink Panther misses with a wild punch, allowing Michael Moore's cousin to sweep around him and hit some sort of... trippy... sweeping... full-nelson move.
B>Lex Robinson: That's the move front legsweep full-nelson facebuster, Steve!
Steve Hebert: Well, whatever. The poor Panther's snout is jammed into the canvas, either way.
The crowd's on their feet once again, as Moore is signalling for his trademark setup, The Ender. He drags the Panther to his feet, but before he can manage the cross-rrmed rockbottom, Orange comes out of nowhere and manages to distract Moore temporarily. Moore notices him coming and instead of dropping Pink, he instead drops Orange with the maneuver.
Steve Hebert: Oh shit.
Lex Robinson: So much for that!
The crowd response is electric, as Orange is temporarily incapacitated, slowing him down, until Orange manages to return to his feet, being sized up in the corner by Matthew Moore.
Lex Robinson: Matthew Moore races towards Devard, but Orange reacts just in time, as he slides out of the way, forcing Matt Moore to fly out of the ring! Hell, it looked like Moore was just about to end the doctor's life on that attempt.
Steve Hebert: It looks like Orange is following him outside of the ring, as well.
Lex Robinson: Devard Orange rolls out of the ring, while Moore's consciousness restores. The Doctor attempts to hit The Aneurysm, but the vigilant Moore reverses the manuever with a move of his own. Orange is dropped on the concrete with a ridiculous reverse-DDT, swept right into a neckbreaker, leaving him groveling in pain!
Steve Hebert: Ouch, it looks like the Doctor is going to need a doctor after that. Hurr hurr.
Moore realizes that Raiyn is in the ring, alone with Panther, who wastes no time in making the best of the opportunity . Suddenly, we see Pink's manager Narrator approach Moore, but he's quickly flatlined for his efforts. In the meantime, Pink has a dazed and confused Raiyn in his crosshairs, as he sizes him up in his finishing manuever.
Lex Robinson: Here we go...!
Steve Hebert: Moore is trying to get back into the ring, but is forced to fight off that silly Narrator.
Lex Robinson: Pink grabs Raiyn and punishes him with the Pink Phink! The Pink Panther makes the cover...
...1...
Steve Hebert: There's one!
Moore is back in the ring and is just about to break up the cover, when he is grabbed by Devard Orange.
...2...
Lex Robinson: And now it's two!
Moore knocks Devard off the ledge of the outside ropes, as he once again tries to stop the inevitable.
...3!
Matthew Moore cannot make the save, and thus The Pink Panther wins the match, partially thanks to Devard Orange holding him back.
Lex Robinson: What the...? Why did Devard hold him back?
Steve Hebert: Hell if I know. All I know is that The Pink Panther now has a shot at the Television Title come the 100th show.
Lex Robinson: As long as he can keep it, that is.
Steve Hebert: Way to go, captain obvious.
The Pink Panther slides to the back, having the Narrator walk with him, holding his arms victoriously in the air, while the fans let out a mixed response. In the ring, meanwhile, Matthew Moore stands, disappointed with the outcome, wondering why Devard Orange stopped him.
Winner: The Pink Panther
Stevie Swing: No way that she can resist... volume eleven!
Swing reaches for the volume knob on his amp and cranks it all the way up. Indeed, at the end of the dial is the mythical number eleven. Swing tosses his head back and starts laughing maniacally. Somewhere, thunder rolls. Must be shitty weather in Denver.
Steve Hebert: Hold me Lex; I'm afraid.
He puts the thing to his chin and starts playing, though he is no master. The sound coming from the amps is almost like "Eleanor Rigby," if it were being played on a crab fishing boat in the Baltic by a one armed man having an epileptic seizure. It gets no better when Swing sings and plays at the same time.
Stevie Swing: Morgana Ashton, picks up the rice at a church where a wedding has been. Lives in a dream. Waits at the window, wearing a face that she keeps in a jar by the door. Who is it for? Must be Steven Swinger…where did that Jew come from? Must be Steven Swinger…drops by to say "shalom."
Lex Robinson: Now he's changing the lyrics.
Steve Hebert: The man is brilliant. We cut to Team Wifey's locker room, where Morgana is calmly listening to Rilo Kelly on her iPod, while her partner, Adora, is grinding her teeth; for she is podless.
Adora: Maybe you should go talk to him!
Morgana: WHAT?
Adora: Stevie Swing... you should talk to him.
Morgana: I CAN'T HEAR YOU! IPOD!
Adora yanks the headphones out of her partner's ears…
Adora: For the love of fuck, wifey…there's a strange man outside our door, playing Beatles songs to pledge his love for you. I think you need to crush his spirits quick like, so we can all get on with our lives.
Morgana: Aww…I kind of like the positive attention. Sure is a change from being called a cocksucker all the time.
Adora: At least that kind of shit isn't creepy.
Morgana: Let Stevie have his fun…
Adora: He's making me sad. Like a skinny…Jewish puppy dog. Suddenly, the violin stops.
Adora: Freakin' finally.
Morgana: Aww…you mean, he gave up that easily? The sound of the violin is somehow replaced…with the sound of a piano.
Adora: Oh for the love of fuck!
Morgana: Fine, I'll investigate… Morgana gets up from the couch and walks to the door. She opens it, to find Stevie Swing sitting at a piano that wouldn't be out of place in an elementary school music class. Swing is banging away at the ivories, making a passable attempt at melody, as he sings…
Stevie Swing: Lady Morgana!
Morgana: Woah, woah, woah! This brings Stevie to a crashing halt…
Stevie Swing: Oh... Morgana.
Morgana: Stevie. What in the hell is all this?
Stevie Swing: Beatles songs.
Morgana: I hear that. Why?
Stevie Swing: Because a friend of mine told me that they were the keys to a woman's heart.
Morgana: Plan Lennon/McCartney?
Stevie Swing: Yep.
Morgana: That plan never works.
Stevie Swing: Oh.
Morgana: Look, Stevie; I'm very flattered and everything... all this stuff must have cost a fortune to transport to the arena and everything…and the fact that you know how to play piano is pretty endearing... but see, I'm married.
Morgana shows Swing the ring…
Morgana: And I'd like to keep it that way. Now you've got a match in a few minutes... and I've got a match after that... and I know we'd both like to win, right?
Stevie Swing: Yeah, that'd probably be a good idea.
Morgana: Then it's time to retire the Beatles for the night, Stevie. You've got to get ready at some point in time.
Stevie Swing: Is that the way it's going to be? I go through all this trouble to woo you…a married woman…and this is the response I get?
Morgana: What?
Stevie Swing: If your intention was to shoot an arrow through my heart, bullseye!
Morgana: Stevie, I didn't mean-
Stevie Swing: Shut up, you devil woman! I'll go out there... broken hearted... and I'll wrestle to the death with Destiny Daniels. I just hope that when I'm down and out for the three, kindly lying the fuck down for another woman, you'll know whose fault it was!
Morgana: ...
Stevie Swing: Erm... yours. The fault would be yours.
Morgana: I caught that... I'm just trying to recover from the tirade.
Stevie Swing: Whatever. I'm Ghost like Swayze.
Swing turns from Morgy... and starts pushing his piano down the hallway. Morgana looks after Stevie's extremely slow departure, dazed and confused. She turns to Adora, who was listening in on the proceedings...
Morgana: I have no idea what the fuck just happened…
Adora: Next thing you know, he'll blow up our boat... or dye his hair pink or something.
Morgana: I hope not.
Adora: Whatever; we've got a match to get ready for.
Fade out.
With these words, Arran slaps the backstage curtain out of his way. He pauses under the video feed screen, smirks, and uses his fingers to imitate pistols. He closes his eyes and lowers his head. He fires once...
bang...!
...and more flames erupt around him.
He fires again...
bang...!
Even more flames ereupt.
He does it three more times...
bang... bang... bang!
...Which causes three strings of flames to burst up from the walkway area.
A place where no one follows me, I walk alone!
Huh!
I’m sick of all these people talkin’ out their heads.
I’ve never understood a damn thing that they said.
From words to actions never knowing what they’re about!
I guess I’ll have to chew them up and spit them out!
And I'll say!
I walked for miles inside this pit of danger!
I've swallowed down a thousand years of anger!
The weight of the world is falling on my shoulders!
A place where no one follows me, I walk alone!
Huh!
Arran slowly opens his eyes and looks up. The crowd starts to boo, even though an assortment of camera flashes light up the arena, as he makes his way to the ring. Sliding under the bottom rope, Arran stands to his feet, only to slide out to the announcer's table. He signals for his music to be cut and it fades out to silence. Arran grabs Lex Robinson's headset.
Arran Hayden: The most villainous man in the history of Sin is now in your presence!
Arran throws the headset up against Lex's head and slides back into the ring, listening to more booing.
Lex Robinson: Now entering the ring is Arran Hayden... who is wearing a patch over his right eye, still half-blinded from the attack by Stevie Swing.
Steve Hebert: Arran Hayden looks much better as a pirate. I must say. He looks much less metrosexual... and gay. Definitely less gay.
Lex Robinson: Uh huh.
A "Yo!" booms out of the PA system, followed by "Y'all Want a Single" by KoRn. Savage Youth jumps out from behind the curtain and begins to hop up and down as the crowd begins to chant "Yo, Yo, Yo!" Savage Youth runs down to the ring, climbs in and makes a fool of himself in the ring in various ways, as he waits for the match to commence.
Lex Robinson: Yo! Yo, yo, yo yo, yo! YO!
Steve Hebert: Will you stop that annoying shit? My Jesus merciful.
Lex Robinson: I'm just using it as a segue to introduce Savage Youth, who is making his way to the ring without Robo-Teddy.
Steve Hebert: Hopefully that goddamn bear-slash-robot is dead in a gutter.
Lex Robinson: You dislike Robo-Teddy?
Steve Hebert: It's the most ridiculous thing, ever. Almost as ridiculous as Arran Hayden claiming to be the baddest guy in Sin Wrestling.
Lex Robinson: Let's not go crazy here.
The bell rings, thus starting the match.
Lex Robinson: Here we go, ladies and gentleman. A few weeks ago, Arran Hayden suffered an embarassing defeat at the hands of Savage Youth and he's looking to fix things.
Steve Hebert: It's better than being dumped in pig shit, which is what Savage Youth did to him at the last Eternity.
Lex Robinson: Hah, I think the smell is still on Arran.
Steve Hebert: No, that's just your unwashed asshole.
Lex Robinson: Don't make me roll my eyes.
Arran chases across the ring at Savage Youth, who ducks his attack and stands behind him. From behind, Savage Youth is able to strike with some mischievous punches and slaps, which literally throw Arran off his game.
Lex Robinson: Savage Youth confuses and embarasses Arran Hayden. That can't be good for the one-eyed wonder.
Steve Hebert: He even dropkicks Arran's leg out from underneath him. This is awful!
Lex Robinson: Now an elbowdrop onto Arran!
Steve Hebert: Fuck. Not only that, but Savage Youth drives three more elbows into Arran's chest. He even climbs to the top turnbuckle pad... and flies off with a flying elbow to the top of Arran's head! Flustered, Arran rolls out to the floor.
Lex Robinson: Oh man, he's upset.
Steve Hebert: Well, he better open his... uh... his eye because Savage Youth is coming up to him.
Lex Robinson: Inside of the ring, Savage Youth goes to dive out onto Arran... he looks for a slingshot plancha to the floor... but misses!
Steve Hebert: Hah! Good! Arran scattered out of the way. He saw it coming. He isn't completely blind.
Lex Robinson: I guess not. Out here, Arran starts kicking and stomping on Savage Youth, picking him up and then whipping him harshly into the ring railing! Jeez.
Steve Hebert: Thins are looking up for Arran.
Lex Robinson: Lord knows he can't look up himself.
Steve Hebert: Hey! I heard that! Don't make me inform Arran.
Striking Savage Youth with a European Uppercut, Arran Hayden rolls Savage Youth inside of the ring and slides in behind. Hovering over Savage Youth, Arran Hayden stomps on Savage Youth's hands, wishing to unleash a hellacious amount of punishment onto him.
Lex Robinson: Ouch. Savage Youth is having his fingers stomped on, now, by Arran Hayden.
Steve Hebert: Hmmm... maybehe is the baddest guy in Sin Wrestling.
Lex Robinson: Nahhhhh.
Steve Hebert: Yeah, you're right.
Lex Robinson: Grabbing onto Savage Youth's hand, Arran Hayden commences twisting and bending his fingers, probably hoping to dislocate some of them.
Steve Hebert: Good strategy. Not only will he not be able to move his fingers, but he won't be able to jerk his tiny cock off. That'll frustrate Savage Youth to no end. I bet he masturbates about 40 times per day, too.
Lex Robinson: Jesus, stop it.
Bending Savage Youth's arm back and resting it on the canvas, Arran Hayden stands to his feet and stomps on his fingers, yet again.
Lex Robinson: Ouch! It just doesn't stop! It's kinda like you.
Steve Hebert: Damn right.
Lex Robinson: And Hayden is laughing at Savage Youth's condition, too.
Steve Hebert: Good for him.
Looking for a submission, Arran continues to bend Savage Youth's fingers back, but quits when Savage Youth refuses to surrender. Instead, Arran lifts Savage Youth up and prepares to suplex him.
Lex Robinson: Savage Youth places his foot around Arran Hayden's leg, refusing to be suplexed.
Steve Hebert: Now that's just dumb.
Lex Robinson: How so?
Steve Hebert: Shut the fuck up.
Lex Robinson: Giving up on the suplex attempt, Arran Hayden smashes Savage Youth in the face with a punch and then kneelifts him. Backing Arran against the ropes, Arran whips him across the ring. As Savage Youth returns, Arran Hayden lifts him up onto his shoulders with a standing fireman's carry...
Steve Hebert: Ack! Arran Hayden lets the moron slip out. He stands behind Arran...
Lex Robinson: And then Arran turns around, only to receive a poke in the eye from Savage Youth!
Steve Hebert: Not the dreaded eye poke!
Lex Robinson: Yes, it is. Now Savage Youth is blinded in both eyes.
Steve Hebert: Oh God, I didn't think of that.
Blindly stumbling around the ring, Arran Hayden swings his fists, hoping to hit something. It fails.
Steve Hebert: God, just hit someone, Arran.
Lex Robinson: It's no use! Savage Youth easily dodges each attack. Furthermore, he sends Arran Hayden sprawling with a release Dragon Suplex! Wasting no time, he picks Arran Hayden back up and lifts him onto his shoulders. He hits the Yo-Yo Driver! It's going to be over!
Steve Hebert: Oh nos.
The cover is made...
...1...2...3!
Lex Robinson: Yet again, Savage Youth defeats Arran Hayden!
Steve Hebert: This is awful. Oh god, why?
Lex Robinson: Savage Youth decides he isn't sticking around, so he rolls out of the ring and leaps over the ring barricade, joining the fans at ringside in celebrating his victory.
Steve Hebert: I hope someone shoots him... or stabs him. Where's Ali Khadafi when you need him?
Savage Youth continues his celebration, while a clearly disappointed and blinded Arran Hayden remains in the ring, trying to comprehend his loss.
Winner: Savage Youth
Ace Rodgers: I am waiting for the arrival of JNX, who is just walking into the scene. Here he is, everyone. We've seen his involvement with two of his opponents for tonight; those two being Leora Selene Giuliana and Leah Petrelli, the Lust Champion. What will happen tonight now that he has to face them? Remember, the winner walks out with the Lust Title and-- oh, here he is!
JNX walks into the scene, taping his wrists up, preparing himself for a brawl.
Ace Rodgers: JNX, I was just letting everyone in on your predicament for tonight. You are being forced to fight Ali Khadafi... and two girls you have become well acquainted with these past few weeks. What I want to know is... who will you choose? Or are you going to choose?
JNX hushes, trying to take in the full extent of the question.
JNX: Leah Petrelli or Leora Selene Giuliana, eh?
Ace Rodgers: Yeah, which one will you choose?
JNX: Choose?
Ace Rodgers: Yes... uh, which one?!
JNX smirks and then casually walks away.
Ace Rodgers: Uhm... well, I'm stupidifed. Back to Lex and Steve.
The camera fades out, with Ace shaking his head, wanting an answer.
Lex Robinson: We're about ready to start the Lust Title match! The Lust Champion, Leah Petrelli, is out, and she will be defending against Ali Khadafi, JNX and Leora Selene Giuliana.
Steve Hebert: But who is that JNX fellow really with? We've seen him save Leah Petrelli from a falling crate of fish... but we all know he has history with Leora Selene Giuliana. Actually, now that I think about it, he should just go for the threesome.
Lex Robinson: It'd be a decent idea. Errr... I mean... let's focus on wrestling here, Steve.
Steve Hebert: Don't sass me.
The lights dim slowly as a thick fog begins to cover the stage. The faint sounds of a beating heart begin at a slow pace. A strobe light soon begins to flash in time with the heart beating. The heartbeats pace quickens until the opening parts of "Heaven's A Lie" by Lacuna Coil blends with the sound. A huge plast of pyros goes off and the lights return. Leora Selene Giuliana suddenly makes her way through the fog and begins her slow stroll towards the ring, paying no mind to the screaming fans as she approaches the ring. She then uses the steel steps to enter the ring.
Lex Robinson: We mentioned Leora; well, here she is. I'm sure she's wondering just whose side JNX is on.
Steve Hebert: In the butt.
Lex Robinson: What?
Steve Hebert: Not an ass man, eh?
Lex Robinson: Uhm... okay. Leora Selene Giuliana enters the ring, staring down Leah, who holds her title high into the air, as if mocking Leora.
Steve Hebert: There's no rules here, either; is there?
Lex Robinson: No rules, that's right.
Steve Hebert: Sounds sexy to me. Let's just hope Leora and Leah rip each other's clothes off.
The arena lights darken as violins can be heard playing through the arena and smoke begins to fill the stage. After a moment, a soft voice can be heard speaking.
A figure can be seen making its way through the fog; while the slow steady beat continues.
Fear is how I fall
Confusing what is real"
Strobe lights begin flashing, as JNX makes his way through the fog. He's wearing a pair of black cargo shorts with a black hooded sweatshirt that says "Angelic Suicide" across the front. His wrists and hands are taped up and have various words written all over them; most noticeable being the word "FATE" across both sets of knuckles.
Consuming... Confusing
This lack of self-control I fear is never ending
Controlling...I can't seem"
JNX silently stands, the music finally picking up into a quicker pace, as pyros explode all around him. He stretches his arms out in the side, as he closes his eyes, and after a moment, he opens them and makes his way down the ramp.
Steve Hebert: Here's Junks... Jinks... Jonks... how the hell you say his name?
Lex Robinson: It's Jinx.
Steve Hebert: Then why the hell is it spelled "JNX" on this card?
Lex Robinson: Just go with it.
Steve Hebert: Fine, I'll go with that. Just like how JNX is forced to go down to the floor, thanks to being struck in the back of his head by a lead pipe.
Lex Robinson: What the...?
Steve Hebert: Ali Khadafi stands over the goth's fallen body, holding the lead pipe. The big, angry negro is looking to start things right away. I don't blame him, either. If my cock was cut off, I'd be testy, too.
Lex Robinson: Well, it's been stapled back... but still!
With JNX laying on the entrance, Leora looks on from the ringside area, in terror. However, with her sight diverted, Leah Petrelli comes up from behind her, striking her with a high knee to the back.
Lex Robinson: Meanwhile, in the ring, Leah Petrelli gets a quick start on Leora Selene, attacking her from behind.
Steve Hebert: God, these bitches are so catty. I love it.
Lex Robinson: Leah picks Leora up, whips her into the ropes and upon her rebound, she leaps into the air and huracanranas her! All while Ali Khadafi hoists JNX up and throws him against the entrance area platform. He then charges in and delivers a running forearm-shot to JNX's skull, smashing the back of his head against the platform!
Steve Hebert: That Petrelli chick lifts Leora up and then heaves her into the corner, where she proceeds to kick her in the stomach. Next, she even hoists Leora up onto the top turnbuckle pad.
Lex Robinson: Climbing up with her opponent, Leah slaps Leora several times in the face, which does nothing but seeminly anger Leora, who hammers back with some chops to Leah's chest and face. She is even able to use one of her feet to kick Leah off, sending her falling off the top rope, landing harshly on her back, on the canvas!
Steve Hebert: The same can't be said for Junks, though.
Lex Robinson: ...JNX.
Steve Hebert: Well, whatever. Ali Khadafi hoists JNX up; and while standing on the entrance platform, positions him over his right shoulder and then charges forward. Leaping off the ledge of the platform, Ali Khadafi powerslams JNX through a table, which lays on the floor!
Lex Robinson: Holy crap, that really was a much worse fall.
Steve Hebert: See? But Ali doesn't pin him! Instead, he lifts Junks up, probably to unload some more damage onto him.
Lex Robinson: That can't be good for JNX.
On the side of the platform, Ali hoists JNX up, placing him on his right shoulder yet again, looking to ram his head into the side of the arena wall. Realizing this, JNX slides out behind Khadafi and pushes him forward, sending him into a glass pane and some boxes, slicing Khadafi open. As this happens, Leora measures Leah Petrelli up and dives off the top rope, hitting a Shooting Star Press onto Leah.
Lex Robinson: In the ring, Leora hits a Shooting Star Press! Leah's leg is hooked, we could have a new champ!
...1...2...
Steve Hebert: Eh, the two whores are going to fight it out a little longer, as Leah kicks out.
Lex Robinson: No wonder. She's a champion.
Steve Hebert: Just because she's the champ, it doesn't mean she's unbeatable. In fact, Leora lifts her up again and delivers some charging shoulders, which trap her into the corner. Having been whipped across the ring, Leah lands back-first against the turnbuckles, watching as Leora charges in at her.
Lex Robinson: Leah sees this, though. As a result, she is able to step out of the way, while Leora tries for a bicycle kick. Noticing Leah move to safety, Leora manages to kick off the top turnbuckle pad and then moonsault backward, landing on her feet.
Steve Hebert: She isn't on her feet for long, though.
Lex Robinson: Leah, seeing Leora land on her feet, moves forward and applies a leaping bodyscissors to Leora, wrapping her legs around her waist. Pushing herself off the mat, LEah shoots right back up, twists her body around and then manages to hit a tornado-DDT onto Leora Selene Giuliana!
With LSG laid out in the center of the ring, Leah charges towards the ropes and springboard corkscrew moonsaults off the middle rope. Aware of this, LSG lifts both knees up to her chest, causing Leah's chest to crash into LSG's knees!
Steve Hebert: Well, that was a dumb move.
Lex Robinson: Leora Selene obviously wasn't concussed enough.
Steve Hebert: She should have just dropped an anvil on her head.
Lex Robinson: Now that would work.
Steve Hebert: It'd be legal. Just like how JNX grabbing those glass shards and then rubbing it into Ali Khadafi's face is legal... which is what he is doing right now!
Lex Robinson: Those two are brawling near the back of the arena, now, with JNX rubbing Khadafi's bloody head off the white wall, leaving a slick trail of blood behind.
Steve Hebert: His big, black head, nonetheless.
Lex Robinson: Uhh... yes, I know. They near the fire-escape door, with JNX slamming Ali's head off it! Hell, he even pushes the door slightly open and puts Khadafi's head in between the door and the ledge. With gusto, JNX slams the door on Khadafi's bloodied head, leaving his ears ringing!
Steve Hebert: Jesus, I think Junks just broke Ali Khadafi's head.
Lex Robinson: With the sick sound that made, I wouldn't doubt it.
JNX charges at a dizzy Khadafi, but Ali ducks down and backdrops JNX through the door, sending him flying to the outside, with the cameras following close behind! As all of this occurs, the action continues inside of the ring, with LSG in sound control over Leah, who lays on her knees, watching as Leora strolls to the outside, grabs a chair and slides it back inside.
Lex Robinson: Jesus Christ, Ali Khadafi backdrops JNX through the fire-escape doors, while Leora brings a chair into the ring. Setting it up in the midst of the ring, Leora lifts Leah up, whips her into the ropes and drop-toe-holds her face-first onto the seat of the chair!
Steve Hebert: Even the ladies are getting vicious. Soon enough, we'll have Leah trying to rub glass in Leora's face. Actually, that'd be fucking awesome. Let's hope that does happen.
Lex Robinson: Would you still have sex with them?
Steve Hebert: Of course I would! I love my bloody sex.
Lex Robinson: Right on.
Steve Hebert: That Leora chick now grabs Leah by the hair and lays her chest-first across the seat of the chair, having her head poking through the opening of it. Leora even points to the top rope. God, this is getting tasty.
Lex Robinson: Slowly, but surely, Leora climbs to the top turnbuckle pad... and leaps off, hitting a flying doublestomp to the back of Leah Petrelli's head, jamming her face and neck into the seat of the chair! Dear God, that was brutal!
Steve Hebert: But the fans like it!
LeX Robinson: I suppose... but damn.
Steve Hebert: You're the one who always mention how important it is to please the fans, Lex! Come on, now.
Lex Robinson: Ugh, you got me. Leora pulls Leah out from the chair, having her forehead and nose a little bloodied. She then closes the chair, lies it on the canvas and then puts Leah into a standing headscissors position. She goes to hoist Leah up, wishing to piledriver her onto a chair... but has Leah fight her off.
Steve Hebert: I think she's showing some spunk. And yes, I mean that as filthy as possible.
Lex Robinson: I knew it.
Steve Hebert: That Leah bitch manages to backdrop Leora. See? Spunk. Lots of it. Probably cumming out of her asshole, too.
Lex Robinson: Leora rises back up... only to run right into the chair, which Leah flings at Leora's face! Holy crap!
Steve Hebert: Yep, the girl is dead.
Lex Robinson: How un-misogynistic of you.
While Leora and Leah are laid out on the canvas, the camera switches to outside of the arena, seeing Ali Khadafi hold a large shard of glass to JNX's forehead.
Steve Hebert: Oh God, Junks is going to slit his wrist, again.
Lex Robinson: No! Ali Khadafi is going to dice him up!
Before Ali Khadafi can slice into JNX's skin, JNX lowblows him, forcing Khadafi to temporarily drop the glass shard.
Lex Robinson: JNX just saved himself from severe mutilation!
Steve Hebert: He's picking that glass shard up, instead. He jabs it into Ali Khadafi's cock! Ouchies! Holy Jesus!
Lex Robinson: Ugh... that won't be good for Khadafi and his stapled cock.
Staggering around, Ali Khadafi holds onto his penis, hoping to keep it together. This allows JNX to rise to his feet, vigor and strength running through his veins. He creeps up behind Khadafi, grabs his head and heaves it through the backseat window of a car!
Steve Hebert: Ali Khadafi is trying to steal that car!
Lex Robinson: God... Steve, just no.
Steve Hebert: Sheesh! I thought he was. Don't be mad at me!
Lex Robinson: Annnnnyhow, JNX continues to scrape Khadafi's face across the glass, hoping to slice him open even further. In fact, he slams Khadafi's face off the trunk of the car, leaving agigantic pool of blood behind.
Steve Hebert: This is like a scene out of a horror movie. Meanwhile, in the ring, we have a scene from a whore movie.
Lex Robinson: That was hilarious, Steve. Really. I'm not being sarcastic at all.
Steve Hebert: Good.
Lex Robinson: ...I was being sarcastic.
Steve Hebert: Oh.
Despite having the trunk covered in blood, JNX pulls it open, grabs Khadafi and then bodyslams him into the trunk. As quickly as he had pried it open, JNX slams the door shut, removing the key from the lock, keeping Khadafi trapped inside.
LeX Robinson: Well... there goes Khadafi.
Steve Hebert: Is that even allowed?! Can he do that?!
Lex Robinson: Just like you said... it's anything goes.
Steve Hebert: But it's not fair!
Lex Robinson: Lust Title rules; sorry.
Steve Hebert: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeahhhh...
Turning his back on the car and marching back inside of the arena, JNX slams the door behind him and then makes his way towards the ringside area.
Steve Hebert: Here comes Junks. Finished with Khadafi, Junks is returning to the ring.
Lex Robinson: JNX is a little scratched-up; but nonetheless, he is in much better shape than Khadafi, whom he seemingly locked in the trunk of the car.
Steve Hebert: These two whores are still barely conscious, too.
Lex Robinson: As JNX slides inside, both women rise to a kneeling position, and offer a look at JNX, requesting that he help them in the other's efforts. Perhaps this is the choosing time, Steve.
Steve Hebert: If he doesn't choose a threesome, then he is gay and awful.
JNX shares a glance at both women, who continue to ask for his assistance.
Lex Robinson: He turns to Leah, listens to her; and then turns to Leora and listens to her, as well.
Steve Hebert: Make up your mind, douchebag.
As he faces Leora, JNX takes a step back and then suddenly whips around, giving Leah a vicious kick to the gut, much to the dismay of the crowd.
Steve Hebert: Yes!
Lex Robinson: Jesus. What a way to deny someone.
Steve Hebert: I love it! Sure, it's no threesome; but it's the best way to tell someone to "fuck off"!
Lex Robinson: Leah remains hunched over, holding her ribs, while Leora looks overjoyed.
Steve Hebert: I don't blame her. I bet she'll be getting some Junks cock tonight.
Lex Robinson: Ugh...
Steve Hebert: Do you have problems, Lex? Perhaps of the gaseous nature?
Lex Robinson: This is sickening... how he managed to lead Leah Petrelli on like that. It's just not acceptable.
Steve Hebert: Fuck you and your conservativeness.
JNX tucks Leah in and then hits a double-underarm DDT, planting her face into the canvas. Still happy, Leora steps into the scene and offers some aide to JNX, who graciously accepts.
Lex Robinson: Ugh... this duo are going to double-team Leah. How awful.
Steve Hebert: Of course. In fact, Leora holds Leah up, allowing old Junky to hit an enziguiri kick, which he immediately follows up with a standing Shooting Star Press. The poor Petrelli girl is as good as dead.
Lex Robinson: Sadly, I'm probably gonna have to agree with you.
JNX and LSG combine to hit a double-suplex on Leah; following that up by then hitting a double-DDT. Standing to his feet, JNX allows for LSG to leap onto his shoulders, holding her into an Electric Chair position. Turning his back to Leah, they decide to have LSG hit Leah with a moonsault off JNX's shoulders.
Lex Robinson: Leora Selene Giuliana is about to leap off JNX's shoulders...
Despite the beatdown, Leah Petrelli becomes aware of this and rolls out of the way, watching as LSG moonsaults off her partner's shoulders. Because of Leah rolling out onto the apron, Leora lands face-first on the apron, eating nothing but canvas.
Lex Robinson: Leah rolls out of the way! Thankfully, Leah was able to see the setup to the move!
Steve Hebert: Shit! Goddamnit! Not cool.
Lex Robinson: Still with his back turned, JNX still thinks Leora has hit the move... how surprised he's going to be. Why? Because Leah bounces off the top rope, using it as a springboard. He turns around... and walks right into a springboard crossbody from Leah, knocking him onto his back! She covers him!
The referee drops down, making a quick cover...
...1...2...
Lex Robinson: It's only a two!
Steve Hebert: Thanks to Leora, who happens to crawl over and pull on Leah's hair, stopping the cover.
Lex Robinson: She even pulls Leah up to her feet, kicks her in the gut and sets her up for a suplex. In the midst of the attempt, Leah slips behind Leora, waistlocks her and Okana Rolls her. We have another pinfall attempt from Leah!
Again, the referee makes the cover...
...1...
Lex Robinson: One...
...2...
Lex Robinson: Two...
...
Steve Hebert: L-S-G kicks out!
Lex Robinson: So close...
Steve Hebert: Hell no, she was able to kick out!
After the count, Leah stands, observing JNX charging at her. In the blink of an eye, Leah drops down, forcing him to leap over her and then run into the ropes. Upon his return, he is greeted by Leah flipping her body at him, performing a standing headscissors on him, and then pulls herself up onto his shoulder, plaving herself into a powerbomb position. She soon swings her legs out and grabs onto JNX's head, delivering a facebuster, driving his head into the canvas!
Steve Hebert: What the hell was that?! She just drove Junk's head into the mat!
Lex Robinson: That's exactly what that was! She rises and views Leora charging at her, much in the same way as JNX ran at her. Instead, Leora tries to clothesline her, only to have her arm ducked! From behind, Leah dropkicks Leora, sending her flying over the top rope and crashing onto the floor! The fans are going nuts!
Steve Hebert: The fans are nuts! Screw them!
Lex Robinson: Leah stands up to her feet and turns around... but walks right into JNX's boot. Oh no. He tucks her in... and he hits the Angelic Suicide!
Steve Hebert: Ahahaha, redemption! That's what she gets for driving his face into the mat.
Lex Robinson: JNX makes the cover...
...1...2...3!
Lex Robinson: It's official! We have a new Lust Champion!
Steve Hebert: Hooray! Let's hope this trend of new champions continues on throughout the night!
Lex Robinson: You never know...
As JNX is awarded the title, he holds it in his hands and stares at it for a moment. A smile sweeps across his face as he slowly limps over to the far turnbuckle and climbs to the top, holding the Lust Title high above his head for everyone to see.
Steve Hebert: The new champ holds his title high into the air; and I, for one, am quite glad to see this.
Lex Robinson: You would be.
A mixed reaction is sent towards JNX and he jumps down, watching as Leah Petrelli slowly climbs to her feet.
Steve Hebert: Showdown time!
JNX just stares at her for a moment, and smirks, as he takes a few steps towards her, standing within inches of her. Leah mouths off, but the noise from the crowd drowns it out.
Lex Robinson: Leah is no doubt spurting swear words at JNX. How could he betray her like that?
Steve Hebert: Oh Christ, there was no betrayal. They weren't even an item. Get over yourselves. Besides, he choose Leora; which is who he should have chosen. Everyone should be happy.
Lex Robinson: JNX just smirks again, as he drops the Lust Title to the ground, and points at his chin, telling Leah to take a shot.
Steve Hebert: She doesn't have the balls. Literally.
Lex Robinson: I beg to differ. Leah rears back and goes for a right hook, but JNX grabs her arm, stopping the swatting motion. He pulls her in close, and plants a deep kiss right on her lips.
Steve Hebert: One more for the road, bitch!
Suddenly, JNX quickly pulls away, wipes his mouth, smirks and then kicks Leah in the stomach!
Steve Hebert: Hahaha!
As she doubles over, JNX hooks Leah's arm behind her back, lifts her into the air and drives her back down with a second Angelic Suicide -- this one landing Leah face-first into her former title, her blood smearing all over it.
Lex Robinson: Not another one!
Steve Hebert: He really did give her one more for the road! Awesome!
Lex Robinson: This is despicable.
The fans are going nuts, as JNX gets back to his feet and looks down at Leah Petrelli, smiling with a vindictive glare. Next, JNX turns around and looks at Leora Selene Giuliana, who is back on the apron and leaning against the turnbuckle, smiling with approval at what is happening.
Steve Hebert: See? Leora likes what she sees!
Lex Robinson: JNX is even motioning her to go to the top rope. This is sickening.
A little shocked, but happy to oblige JNX's wishes, LSG scurries to the top rope and then winks at JNX, who responds with a wink of his own. Leora flies from her perch, twisting and contorting her body around, landing with The Ignorant Bliss, crashing down onto Leah, who is still face-down on the Lust Title.
Lex Robinson: This is just demoralizing.
Steve Hebert: And humiliating! You can't forget that!
The crowd is going nuts as JNX helps Leora up to her feet and embrace with a hug. When they let go, JNX looks down at Leah, who still isn't moving. He uses his foot to roll her over onto her back and slip the title away from her. Shaking his head, he picks up the blood-stained title, holds it over his head and then positions it over his shoulder, while he and LSG walk to the back, but not before LSG gives Leah a kick to the head.
Steve Hebert: Ahh, now that was refreshing, don't you think, Lex?
Lex Robinson: This was ridiculous.
Leora and JNX walk to the back, while medics checks on Leah Petrelli, who remains in a bloodied-heap in the center of the ring. As for Ali Khadafi, he remains stuck in the trunk of a car.
Winner: JNX
Roxy Erikson: You got a fucking problem?
Casanova turns his vision slightly and looks at her.
Casanova: What?
Roxy Erikson: Why don't you take a picture? It lasts longer, asshole.
Obviously annoyed with being in the wrong place at the wrong time. Casanova's voice turns angry.
Casanova: Why don't you go fuck yourself?
Roxy Erikson: Because, unlike you, I don't need to pleasure myself to get any.
Casanova: 8th grade called, they want their comeback back.
Roxy rolls her eyes.
Roxy Erikson: Ha ha ha. Why don't you take out the fangs and spend your time getting a realistic gimmick, asshole.
Casanova: This coming from the bitch that would snort baby powder if I told her it was coke. That really doesn't hurt much coming from you.
Roxy Erikson: Fuck off and die... oh wait you can't, right?
Casanova opens his mouth to answer, but before any words can be said. A door behind him swings open Corey Page's head pops out.
Corey Page: CASANOVA! Get in my office! Now!
Casanova cringes for a moment before flicking off Roxy as he turns and walks into Corey's office. Roxy storms out of the area.
Casanova: I told that bitch. What's up, boss?
Corey Page sits back behind his desk, rubbing his forehead with his hands, and looking pretty disheveled in general.
Corey Page: I've got two distinct headaches right now. One is the hangover from a couple of months of drinking...
Casanova: That's a lot.
Corey Page: ...yeah it is. The second headache, is you.
Casanova: Me?
Corey Page: You.
Casanova: Damn.
Corey nods, about to speak, when he's interrupted by a goat bay.
Betsy the Goat: Merr.
Corey extends his hand, as Betsy drops several Extra Strength Tylenol in it. He pops the pills, then takes a glass of water, also handed to him by Betsy, and washes it down.
Corey Page: So, remind me. Who books the matches around here?
Casanova: Well, there was that dirty hippie who followed us from event to event. Weren't we having him pick match ups out of a hat for a while?
Corey Page: Yeah, but... never mind. I mean, who does the booking around here WHEN I'M SOBER?
Casanova: ...well... up until now, I haven't seen you sober in at least a year or so. So it sounds like a trick question. My guess is... you?
Corey Page: Yeah.
Casanova: Fuck yeah!
Corey Page: Shut up! I'm not laughing, god damn it! The whole point is, I do the booking! Not you! The only person who can promise the Wifeys that you'll be out of their hair for a while is me!
Casanova: Oh... I see where you're going with this now!
Corey Page: Yeah. Enough with that garbage. I decide the matches that will happen. Or won't. Not you.
Casanova: Shit... you're gonna fire me.
Corey Page: No, you're a pretty good draw.
Casanova: I'm gonna be suspended!
Corey Page: No, that would just be a vacation to you.
Casanova: Dear god, no! You're going to make me forfeit my title reigns!
Corey Page: ...How the hell does that work?
Casanova: Well, I don't have a title right now, so I can't forfeit it. So you make me forfeit my old title reigns. It's kind of like stealing someone's money that they already spent...
Corey Page: Holy fuck, you're stupid. I liked you better as an amnesiac dickhead. Forget your past again.
Casanova: I can't. Then I wouldn't remember where this conversation was going originally.
Corey Page: Good point. Oh, that reminds me. Your punishment for attempted abuse of booking power...
Casanova: There's no way that's a crime.
Corey Page: ...will be to sell popcorn, candy bars, and other tasty treats...
Casanova: Sweet, I'd be like a nocturnal girl scout.
Corey Page: ...AT THE NEXT SHOW... which will be in Disney World!
Casanova: ...I hate you, boss.
Casanova marches out of the office, his head slung low. Corey Page turns to Betsy.
Corey Page: Was I too rough?
Betsy: Merr.
Corey Page: A delicate flower... that's true. Holy shit, that's a good idea! That's what it'll say on the front of his apron, while he's vending snacks for the next show!
The image of Corey's office fades, with Corey holding his aching head in his hands, and Betsy emptying more Tylenol from a bottle for him.
Steve Hebert: Lemme get this straight... if that Hot Topic frequenting loser wins, he gets the Purity title.
Lex Robinson: Right.
Steve Hebert: And if what Cajun wackjob with the Halloween mask wins it, he doesn't get the title, but gets a contract for a match with whomever he wants?
Lex Robinson: Yep.
Steve Hebert: And the modestly hot, cracked out chick?
Lex Robinson: If Roxy retains, she keeps her title and gets a $500,000 bonus.
Steve Hebert: Well that settles it. Go Roxy.
Lex Robinson: Why's that?
Steve Hebert: I've been known to bang modestly hot, cracked out chicks for $500,000.
Lex Robinson: Oy vey... lets get this match on the road.
"Simple Design" by Breaking Benjamin goes off and Dan Black comes out from the back and then runs into the ring. He climbs each turnbuckle, pointing to the audience and he goes to the center of the ring and stomps his right foot, which ignites pyro all around the ringside area.
Steve Hebert: With the stomp of his right foot, Gothy McGotherson creates fire!
Lex Robinson: It's funny you should say that, because Dan Black is...
Steve Hebert: A total hypocrite. He's more Goth than the people he wants to "wipe out."
Jean-Paul Lacklan's entrance music is Beethoven's "Moonlight Sonata," as performed by the indy rock group The Inverse. As the song begins to play, the house-lights shut off, with purple lights showing the entrance ramp. Several of his Minions, his fans, then come out, each dressed in a long black robe and hood. They line the entranceway as Lacklan appears at the top of the ramp, a purple spotlight illuminating him.
As Lacklan makes his way down the aisle, the Minions bow to him and exit. Upon approach of the ring, Lacklan ascends the steps and climbs into the ring. As his name is announced, he flings back the cowl and rips off the hood in one fluid motion, revealing his classic mask and scarred head.
Lex Robinson: That was certainly an impressive entrance.
Steve Hebert: You act like it's the first time you've seen an Undertaker match.
Lex Robinson: That's Jean-Paul Lacklan.
Steve Hebert: Oh...
Steve stands up from his seat and cups his hands around his mouth.
Steve Hebert: RIPOFF!
He sits back down and looks at his broadcast partner, who is holding his ears in pain.
Lex Robinson: I still had my headphones on!
Steve Hebert: I know…that made it even more worth doing!
Lex Robinson: I really hate you.
As "My Perogative" by Britney Spears hits, the lights dim. A spotlight flashes onto Roxy, who is Wearing a floor length leopard print fur coat and is Holding a bottle of champagne in her right hand. She shakes it up, and starts to walk down the aisle, as she uncorks it, spraying the audience with champagne; and even catching some with her mouth. She then turns her attention towards the ringside area, drops her fur coat and bottle and slides inside.
Steve Hebert: She's drunk!
Lex Robinson: No she isn't. She's just celebrating with the fans.
Steve Hebert: She's so drunk…she might even go through with paying me money to have sex!
Lex Robinson: You are depraved.
The bell rings, and the three circle each other in the ring. It looks as though the three are going to lock up simultaneously, but Lacklan ducks back, and Roxy ties up with Black. The two go back and forth, until they're in the ropes…and tumble out to the outside!
Lex Robinson: Neither competitor wants to give in!
The two separate on the floor and get to their feet, only to be taken down by a flying Jean-Paul Lacklan plancha! The Savior of Professional Wrestling grabs Roxy by the hair and rolls her back into the ring, sliding in after her and covering for the pin...
Lex Robinson: Here's a pinfall attempt..!
Steve Hebert: The guy who thinks it's still Halloween is making the cover...!
...1...2...
Steve Hebert: But the bitch kicks out!
Lex Robinson: Roxy Erikson proving to be a tenacious champion!
Steve Hebert: Because she wants that money!
Lacklan looks to continue the attack on Roxy, but is clipped in the knee by Dan Black, who slid in behind JPL's back. Black continues to assault Lacklan's knee, but Roxy takes him by surprise and low blows him! Black doubles over, and Roxy runs at the ropes. She uses Black as a springboard, looking to take Lacklan down with a Thez press, but Jean-Paul won't go down!
Steve Hebert: Looks like we're about to see a powerbomb!
Lex Robinson: Lacklan looks for the move, but Roxy digs her platform boots into Lacklan's back, stalling him. She uses this to wriggle around into victory roll position, but she brings Lacklan down with a facebuster like move, while reaching out at taking Black out with a bulldog! What an innovative counter by the Purity champion! A great combo!
Steve Hebert: The old bag hooks Lacklan's leg!
...1...2...
Lex Robinson: He kicks out!
Steve Hebert: Phew.
Lex Robinson: A kickout at the absolute last instant, too! Roxy crawls over to Black and covers him, instead. This might prove to beworthy...
...1...2...
Steve Hebert: Hell no, the goth-killer kicks out of that, as well.
Lex Robinson: Well, damn.
Jean-Paul brings Roxy to her feet and rocks her with a forearm shot! He hits another one, and spins, looking for a high-impact third, but Roxy ducks and rolls him up!
Lex Robinson: Another surprise pinfall! This might be it! Lacklan might be the first person eliminated!
...1...2....
Lex Robinson: One... two... and...
...3!
Steve Hebert: Three! The goth is out of here! Unfortunately, Dan Black didn't get to kill him. The Undertaker's been eliminated!
Lex Robinson: That's Jean-Paul Lacklan.
Steve Hebert: Oh...
Steve gets up from his seat to yell at Lacklan, but Robinson yanks on the cord to his headset, yanking him back down.
Lex Robinson: Shut up and call the match, Steve.
Steve Hebert: Fine…take a look at Roxy, taking off her loaded boot!
Lex Robinson: Loaded?
Steve Hebert: With goldfish!
Roxy can be seen unlacing one of her massive platform boots, while Dan Black struggles to his feet. She frees it, and Lacklan jumps up on the apron!
Lex Robinson: What in the hell is Lacklan doing?
Steve Hebert: Collusion!
The ref is distracted by Lacklan…allowing Roxy to nail Dan Black with the shoe! The glass containing the fish breaks, spilling water on the mat and sending the goldfish flopping to the canvas.
Steve Hebert: Attention: the goldfish are down! I repeat, the goldfish are down!
Lex Robinson: Lacklan was holding onto Dan Black! That's not right! He should have been out of here!
At this, Lacklan smiles, as Roxy flicks the boot out of the ring and into the front row. Lacklan jumps down from the canvas as the champ covers.
Lex Robinson: Either way, Dan Black is covered...
...1...2...
Steve Hebert: Holy crap, he kicks out! How? I have no idea!
Lex Robinson: Black wants his title back; that's how!
Roxy gets to her feet, and brings Black up with her. She goes to whip him into the corner, but it is reversed! Black follows Roxy in, but she doesn't hit the corner, instead jumping and springboarding off the middle turnbuckle…cross body block! Roxy has Black covered…and Lacklan is holding on to Black's feet! The ref can't see it and counts the fall...
Steve Hebert: Here we go, again...
Lex Robinson: Once again, the cover is made...
...1...2...3!
Steve Hebert: Hell yes! Steve is getting it on tonight!
Lex Robinson: For the love of all, Lacklan was holding on to Dan Black's foot!
Steve Hebert: So? It all works for the best, buddy; the hot chick wins.
Roxy is given her title, and she poses with it, while Jean-Paul Lacklan gives mocking applause on the outside of the ring.
Winner: Roxy Erikson
Dan Black: You little bastard. You're going to get what's coming to you!
After punching Lacklan in the head, Dan uses great force in shoving him into the trunk of the car. Lacklan struggles to free himself, only to have Dan use the trunk to bash down on Lacklan's skull, keeping him trapped inside. Down and out, darkness encompasses Lacklan, as the trunk is slammed shut, with Dan Black heading over to the driver's side door. Hopping inside, Dan Black pumps the gas pedal and speeds off, driving away with Jean-Paul Lacklan in the back of his car, stuck inside of the trunk.
Corey Page: I am never, ever going on a month-long drinking binge, again. Kitty Extreme? Fuck that bitch! I have my office back, for now, anyhow! We could be wrestling on the moon at the next card, but I'm just glad I have my chair!
He spins around in his recliner.
Corey Page: Wheee!
He stops spinning, realizing that it's doing a number on his head.
Corey Page: Holy Christ, that was a bad idea.
Hunching over, Corey goes to throw up, but stops when the door swings open. Standing before him, having an angry expression on her face, is former World Champion, Nikita. In a huff, she stomps into the office, stands at the front of Corey's desk and slams her hands down, all in an angsty fashion.
Nikita: You!
Corey Page: Ow! My goddamn head! What do you want?
Nikita: How dare you...!
Corey Page: How dare I what?
Nikita: You know... your opening match. How dare you put me in that battle royale, putting me into a position to lose my job. You're goddamn lucky that I won; even though some whacko decided to come out and interrupt my celebration!
Corey Page: But you see--
Nikita: Oh no, there'll be no excuses here. This is absolutely ridiculous. As of this moment, I'm... I'm... I'm going on strike!
Puzzled, Corey just looks at Nikita, trying to figure out her thinking.
Corey Page: What about your Purity Title shot?
The title shot catches Nikita's attention, forcing her to think to herself.
Nikita: Purity Title, eh?
Corey Page: Yes, you heard me...
Her distracted concentration soon returns to anger.
Nikita: Fuck no! I don't care about that! You put me into a position to be fired; so, now apologize for it.
Corey Page: What? You're nuts. No way. Now get out of here, I have a killer hangover and headache.
Nikita: Listen here, fucktits, I don't care about your drinking binge. I want an apology! Hell, I'm a former World Champ! You don't do that to a former champ!
Corey Page: Uh... well... I'm still not going to apologize.
Nikita: Oh?
She grimaces, opens up her jacket and reaches for something.
Nikita: Well then, you've asked for it. You won't apologize, then I'll force one out of you!
Nikita pulls a gun out of her jacket, pointing it at Corey, who has flashbacks of the assassination attempt on his life, as performed by Chris Extreme. As a result, Corey cowers in fear behind his desk, trying to get out of the path of the gun.
Corey Page: Uh, c- can... y- you please put that away? It'll give you cancer, you know!
Nikita: Oh, shut up and just apologi--
BANG!
A bullet accidentally unloads, grazing past Corey's face and shooting into the plush recliner, sending cushion-filling everywhere.
Corey Page: Agh!
Corey covers his head, reminding him of the two bullets that pierced his body back in February '06. Nikita, meanwhile, appears shocked, looking at the smoking gun in her hand.
Nikita: I... uh... whoops. I didn't think it was actually loaded.
A blush fills her face, while Corey continues to cower in fear.
Corey Page: Fine! I'm sorry! There, are you happy?!
Nikita: Yes.
Corey Page: Good.
Nikita: But I'm still going on strike. I believe much, much better.
Corey Page: Oh, for Christ's sake.
Nikita: Oh, and you can come out from beneath your desk, now. I put the gun away.
Heeding to Nikita's words, Corey Page removes himself from under his desk, trying not to look too embarassed. Just as he stands, though, Nikita plucks the gun out and pretends to shoot Corey, again, prompting him to duck for cover by leaping to the floor.
Corey Page: Hit the deck!
Nikita: I was just kidding!
Corey Page: Oh.
Nikita: Now what would be a good strike slogan? No more cuts? No more cunts? Hmmm...
Nikita exits Corey's office, slamming the door behind herself.
Corey Page: How about no more wrestler-on-Corey violence.
He shrugs and the camera fades out.
The Electric Six's "Dance Epidemic" hits, and the fans start to boo, as Stevie Swing appears on the ramp. He smiles before busting a move at the top of the ramp, drawing more heat. On his face are a pair of pink sunglasses and around his waist is a pink belt, reminiscent of World Champion, Morgana.
Lex Robinson: It's Stevie Swing, ladies and gentleman! This is the finals of the World Title Contendership Tournament; and he got here by defeated Casanova, Arran Hayden and... uh...
Steve Hebert: That's some great journalism work there, Lex.
Lex Robinson: I have it written down just here. It's... uh...
Steve Hebert: It's David Cage. Things are bad if I can remember things about SW and you can't. How can you forget David Cage, Lex? I mean, my Jesus, he's only a former Lust Champion and he did some other stuff.
Lex Robinson: Such as...?
Steve Hebert: Uh... well... he was that one other guy's brother! You know... that guy!
Lex Robinson: Eh...
Steve Hebert: And most important of all, he is wearing a pink belt. Nothing says "I'm manly" than a pink belt.
The arena goes black and a low hiss is heard.
the
destiny
show
Destiny whispers, "Your destiny awaits." and the music, "Sweet Sacrifice" by Evanescence fades in harshly, cranked up to its highest setting possible.
it's true: we're all a little insane
but it's so clear...
now that i'm unchained
Scarlet fireworks explode in chain up to the top of the entrance ramp, where the flames form a ring of fire from which Destiny emeges. She sways down the ring, an albino snake resting atop her shoulders.
fear is only in our minds
but it's taking over all the time
you poor sweet innocent thing, dry your eyes
and testify! you know you live to break me
don't deny
sweet sacrifice
Handing the snake to a stagehand, she slides into the ring, reveling in the reaction of the crowd. She tests the ropes, motions for her music to be cut, and feigns a devilish smile.
destiny
fulfilled
Steve Hebert: Here's that hot little bitch, Destiny Daniels. Some people say she looks like a man, but that's how I like them, goddamnit.
Lex Robinson: Come again.
Steve Hebert: They gotta have a little spunk.
Lex Robinson: I'm sure.
Destiny and Stevie stand in opposite corners, fitting since they both fought their way to the finals of the tournament to determine the number one contender. They step into the center of the ring, where they stare each other down.
Lex Robinson: Destiny and Stevie go face-to-face, with Stevie receiving a stunning slap to the face from Destiny!
Steve Hebert: Oh yeah, now that's how you start things off.
Lex Robinson: Stevie, who steps back, holding his jaw, calmly removes the pink shades and pink belt and hands them over to the referee, while Destiny looks pleased with what she just done.
Steve Hebert: That's guts. Plus, it got those silly, faggy pink items off him.
Lex Robinson: With ease, Stevie Swing returns his focus towards Destiny, only to walk right into a swinging kick from Destiny, which catches him in the ribs, starting things right away!
Steve Hebert: That kick, much like the slap, caught him off-guard, too. It hunches him over, forcing him to hold onto his ribs, trying to catch his breath, while Destiny unloads with some more kicks; these ones connecting to Stevie's chest.
Lex Robinson: She even strikes him with some back-fist attempts, all of which knock him against the ropes. Grabbing his left hand, she tries to whip him across the ring; only to have it reversed. Instead, Stevie Swing sends Destiny Daniels into the ring ropes. Ducking down, he apparently hopes to nail a backdrop, but Destiny leapfrogs over him and continues to the next set of ropes. Bouncing off, she returns with a leaping spin kick, connecting to the side of Stevie's head, knocking him down.
Steve Hebert: Just as he falls, Destiny Daniels leaps back up, runs towards the ropes and uses the middle rope as a springboard, hoping to hit a springboard moonsault...
Lex Robinson: But Stevie rolls out of the way!
Steve Hebert: Destiny sees this and lands on her feet, watching as Stevie goes to rise.
Lex Robinson: Moving towards Stevie, Destiny goes to spin-kick him, but Stevie ducks beneath her leg! He grabs her and then lifts her up into a back-suplex position, only to have her wiggle her way into a sunset-flip position and try to get the pinfall on him...!
The referee makes the count...
...1...2...
Stevie Swing rolls to safety, upon hearing the two being made. Not liking this whatsoever, Destiny quickly escalates to her feet and catches Stevie with a chop to his chest, stifling him. After trapping Stevie against the ropes, Destiny starts to unload with some more knife-edge chops, barring Stevie from moving out. With each chop, though, angst grows within Stevie, wanting to reverse his fortune more and more.
Lex Robinson: Destiny goes to deliver another spinning back-fist, but Stevie ducks it, switches places with Destiny and now traps her against the ropes, where he proceeds to kick and stomp at her. He whips her across the ring, ducks down and hits a backdrop, flipping her high into the air! She goes to stand, but is then taken down by a running clothesline from Stevie, prompting her to roll out to the floor.
Steve Hebert: Good! Get out of there before he does some queer dancing, Destiny.
Lex Robinson: In the ring, Stevie threatens to dance... but wait... no... he's charging forward. He dashes towards Destiny, who is still on the floor, and motions towards her with a baseball-slide dropkick, which he soon transfers into a headscissors takedown on the floor!
Steve Hebert: Oh God, this is horrible. He picks Destiny up, chops her tits into the front row and then grabs her head and smashes it off the ring apron. He even whips her directly into the ring railing. It just goes from bad-to-worse, Lex.
Lex Robinson: There, there, Steve.
Having Destiny smashed against the ring railing, Stevie steps back and measures the former World Champ up. With a burst of speed and energy, he charges forward, hoping to tackle Destiny down.
Lex Robinson: Destiny stumbles out of the way! She drop-toe-holds Stevie Swing face-first into the ring railing!
Steve Hebert: Good! Praise Jesus.
Springing back up, Destiny dazes towards Stevie, who remains down on the floor, holding his face, which has been slightly busted open, thanks to being rammed face-first into the steel. Standing behind Stevie Swing, Destiny places the heel of her boot across the back of his head and then furiously stomps, trying to put him into a concussion; furthering this by leaping into the air and then coming back down with a double-stomp to the back of his neck/head region.
Steve Hebert: Jesus, she's trying to kill the poor bastard. I like it!
Lex Robinson: She's not going to let him stand. She's going to try and kill him, or something.
Steve Hebert: I wouldn't put it past the cold-hearted bitch.
Lex Robinson: Ever since aligning herself with Shane Donovan, Destiny Daniels has become a devilish woman. This is something else.
Steve Hebert: Something great, you mean.
Lex Robinson: Not likely.
With the referee counting them out, Destiny slips back inside, thus forcing the referee to start over, again. In seconds, she is sliding back outside, focusing on Stevie Swing, who is now up to his knees, having a tiny flow of blood trickle down from his forehead, spilling down his nose and almost into his mouth. Seeing this, Destiny snickers and then releases a stiff kick to his head, busting him open even further.
Lex Robinson: That kick strikes Stevie in the head! Goddamn!
Steve Hebert: Destiny is moving in for the kill. Just like she should. I knew she had the killer instint in her. It took teaming with Shane Donovan to bring it out.
Lex Robinson: Oh, so you're saying she didn't have it when she won the World Title; and she didn't have it when she won the Sin Trophy?
Steve Hebert: She was too busy sucking up to the fans. Get real, Lex.
Stepping back, Destiny measures Stevie up for another kick. However, upon its release, Stevie grabs her foot, stopping the blow from being made. As if the taste of the blood feeds his anger, he rises to his feet, swings Destiny around and then hoists her up into another back-suplex position. Instead of her reversing it, Stevie is able to control the momentum and then drop her crotch-first over the ring railing.
Steve Hebert: Oh, sweet Jesus! Her poor twat!
Lex Robinson: With full force.... dear God, he just dropped her across the ring railing!
Steve Hebert: At least she doesn't have testicles.
Lex Robinson: But still!
With Destiny yelling out in pain, Stevie Swing climbs up onto the apron, breaking the referee's count and shouts words of encouragement into the audience. He points to his heart and yells out "Morgana!"
Lex Robinson: Did he just tell out Morgana's name?
Steve Hebert: Oh God.
Lex Robinson: I think so!
Stevie Swing leaps off the side of the apron and somersaults through the air, grabbing onto Destiny's head as he hurdles through the air.
Lex Robinson: He hits the Variations of a Theme! That's one of Morgana's moves!
Steve Hebert: What's worse is that he hits it while Destiny was still cankered up on the railing. Both he and Destiny spill into the audience; and I think her goddamn face just slammed off the floor. This is awful.
Lex Robinson: And it was okay for Destiny to continually bash Stevie's skull into solid steel?
Steve Hebert: You gotta do, what you gotta do.
Lex Robinson: How hypocritical of you.
Steve Hebert: It's what I do best.
Rising up, Stevie lifts Destiny up with him and then dumps her over the ring railing, which he soon climbs over, joining Destiny at ringside. Lifting her up, he smashes her face off the ring apron and then rolls her inside, letting her lay parallel to the corner turnbuckles.
Lex Robinson: Stevie Swing hops up onto the apron. It appears as if Destiny is going to be immobile, allowing Stevie to land on her, as he now climbs to the top turnbuckle pad. He's measuring her up.
Steve Hebert: This is going to be horrible.
Lex Robinson: Stevie Swing somersaults off the top rope and lands with a double-stomp onto Destiny Daniels's chest! He rolls through the landing... ala Morgana... and springs right up to the second turnbuckle pad. From here, he leaps up onto the top rope and dives back, looking to hit a corkscrew legdrop... also just like Morgana!
Steve Hebert: Destiny rolls out of the way! Hah! That dancing moron lands on his goddamn asshole. That's what he gets for trying to imitate an old dyke.
Slowly, both competitors get to their feet, with Destiny keeping a keen eye on Stevie, whom she lurches towards, hoping to knock down with a standing spin kick. However, he sees this impending danger, allowing him to duck her foot, spin her around and grab her neck, hitting her with a snap-like stunner.
Lex Robinson: That's another one of Morgana's moves!
Steve Hebert: Ugh... sickening.
Lex Robinson: Having Destiny on her back, he sprawls atop of her, bloody forehead and all, and makes the cover...
Again, the referee drops down and starts to slap his hand off the apron.
...1...2...
Steve Hebert: She gets her foot on the rope!
Lex Robinson: So close!
Steve Hebert: It's just a two, Lex. It's still far away from a three.
Lex Robinson: I suppose so. Even so, an agitated Stevie Swing lifts her up and headbutts her, getting some of his own blood on her face. After kneeing her in the gut, he bends her over and positions her into a standing headscissors. With ease, Stevie hoists her upside-down and drops down, delivering a spike-piledriver onto Destiny, piledrivering her! He rolls over, trying another cover.
Steve Hebert: Destiny can kick out of this, too. I know it.
Lex Robinson: As Stevie covers her, the referee counts...
...1...
Lex Robinson: One...!
...2...
Lex Robinson: ...Two...!
Steve Hebert: Uh...
...
Steve Hebert: She kicks out! See?! I told you so, Lex!
Lex Robinson: Eh, you were right. I admit it. It's going to take a lot more than just a piledriver to keep Destiny down.
Steve Hebert: If he wants to keep her down, he'll have to hit her with a frickin' mach truck.
Lex Robinson: Pulling Destiny up to her feet, Stevie tosses her into the corner, where he stumbles in, hitting a back-elbow to her face. With much gusto, Stevie Irish-whips her across the ring, slamming her back-first against the ropes, attempting to storm in with a running clothesline attempt. However, Destiny sees him run in at her, decides to slingshot over the top rope and land on the apron, allowing for Stevie to crashland stomach-first into the turnbuckle pads!
Steve Hebert: See? The bitch is crafty!
Lex Robinson: She even reaches ahead, grabs Stevie by the head and guillotines him throat-first across the top rope! He rolls out onto the side of the apron, while Destiny hops down onto the floor, deciding to hammer him with some tomahawk chops. Eventually, she joins him on the side of the apron, a place where both competitors battled at the last Eternity!
Steve Hebert: She's striking him with some knees, trying to stave him off and hoping to keep him grounded, but he continues to rise, unfortunately. Slap the bastard down, Destiny.
Lex Robinson: Stevie sends some chops to Destiny's chest, trying to fight her back, but she fires back with some knees and kicks of her own, knocking Stevie back a few feet. Nevertheless, Stevie returns with a palm thrust, hoping to knock Destiny off-balance, but she manages to hold onto the top rope. Her left leg tingles and she sends it flying towards Stevie Swing, hoping to kick him off the edge of the apron, but she's stopped. Stevie Swing is able to hoist his hand up, grab her foot and toss it back down. From there, he pulls her in and then lifts her up onto his shoulder with a standing fireman's carry! He tried this at Eternity, but it failed. Will it work now?!
Steve Hebert: God, I fucking hope not.
Destiny, while struggling to remove herself from Stevie's shoulders, hangs onto the top rope, trying to free himself, even sending some elbows to Stevie's head. Despite the struggling and the squirming, Destiny remains firmly on Stevie's shoulders, resulting in Stevie running across the apron and hitting a Death Valley Driver all the way to the floor, smashing Destiny into a row of chairs near the announcer's table!
Lex Robinson: Holy shit! He just flung her into some chairs with a running Death Valley Driver! Unlike at the last Eternity, he was able to hit the move. Holy crap!
Steve Hebert: Ughhhh.
Lex Robinson: Destiny might be out cold, while Stevie lays calmly on the floor, trying to regain his composure.
Steve Hebert: Even though he is feeling troubled from the landing, that stupid bastard, Stevie Swing stumbles to his feet; even giving a little dance. And what a queer little dance it is.
Lex Robinson: At least he's the one standing. How about Destiny, eh?
Steve Hebert: Shut your cock hole.
Stevie Swing stumbles over to Destiny, grabs her by the hair on her head and lifts her up to a standing position and then rolls her back inside of the ring.
Lex Robinson: While Steve is throwing a fit here, Stevie Swing rolls Destiny back inside, wipes some blood from his face and then climbs back up onto the apron. Slowly, but surely, he climbs to the top turnbuckle, thinking he has Destiny down-and-out for good; but he better hurry the hell up.
Steve Hebert: That arrogant, arrogant bastard. Destiny is rising back up, while he is doing his gay little dance, again.
Lex Robinson: You're right, Steve, she's getting up, while he's barely on the top rope...
Seeing that Stevie isn't fully in position, Destiny Daniels scurries forward, climbs up to the second turnbuckle and leaps into the air, hitting a climbing enziguiri on Stevie, crotching him on the top rope!
Lex Robinson: Son of a...
Steve Hebert: She blindsided him with that attack! She's going to win, Lex. She's going to earn that title shot against Morgana; or whoever the hell will hold that World Title.
Lex Robinson: Looking for a quick fix, Destiny hurries up the corner, climbing to the top rope, and goes to hit a huracanrana! But Stevie hangs on!
Steve Hebert: Oh, fuck me!
Lex Robinson: Instead, Stevie Swing releases her to the ground, dropping her with a powerbomb from the top turnbuckle! She lands gravely on her back, her head snapping off the canvas!
Steve Hebert: If that dancing asshole wins this match, I'm going to kill someone. Preferably you, Lex.
Lex Robinson: You better get your gun ready because Stevie is fixin' himself on the top rope. He leaps off and hits a Morgasm! Can you believe that?! That's Morgana signature maneuver!
Steve Hebert: That slut! I blame her!
Lex Robinson: Stevie makes the cover...
...1...2...
Lex Robinson: One... two...
Steve Hebert: No! Destiny just manages to get her shoulder up! Thank fucking God.
Lex Robinson: So close! So goddamn close! Stevie almost had the Number One Contendership in his grasps!
Steve Hebert: But he doesn't; and that's all that matters. Destiny is still in the running, Lex. Don't be so hasty to judge.
Looking at the referee, thinking that he should have the match won, Stevie Swing rises, plucking Destiny up along with him. Striking her with a series of punches, Stevie whips her across the ring, throwing her into the ropes.
Steve Hebert: Here she comes, bouncing off the ropes...
Lex Robinson: Stevie tries for a clothesline, but it's ducked. She goes full-speed towards the opposite set of ropes, bouncing back, walking right into a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker attempt from Stevie. However, Destiny converts it into a spinning satellite headscissors! The duo spin around so often, that they make a 1080 degree circle in the center of the ring, with Destiny finally making a full rotation, bringing Stevie down with an armbar takedown! She applies The Cottonmouth!
Steve Hebert: Yes! My God, yes! This is it! I'm going to have an organism!
Lex Robinson: Don't you mean "orgasm"?
Steve Hebert: No, an ant is going to pop out of asshole!
Lex Robinson: Oh.
Steve Hebert: He's going to quit! Stevie Swing is going to quit! I just know it! He's seconds away from it!
True to Steve's words, it appears that Stevie Swing is moments away from quitting, as Destiny yanks back on his face, placing his hand just under the bridge of his nose. Refusing to submit, he is finally able to roll onto his side, allowing him to roll on top of Destiny, who will have to release her hold if she wishes to not be pinned.
Lex Robinson: Stevie Swing reverses the hold! He is now laying on Destiny, while she still has The Cottonmouth applied! I don't think I've ever seen someone reverse that move quite like this.
Steve Hebert: No! Jesus, no! This is horrid!
Lex Robinson: She's gonna have to release the hold, otherwise she'll be pinned. The referee is making the cover...
...1...
Lex Robinson: One...!
...2...
Lex Robinson: ...Two...!
...
Lex Robinson: Thr-...
Steve Hebert: Lex, you idiot, she lets go and frees herself from the pinfall! That was too close for comfort.
They both are on their knees, when Destiny looks over, seeing another opening. Applying a half-nelson roll, she goes for another pinfall attempt...
Lex Robinson: Another rollup; this time from Destiny!
...1...2...
Lex Robinson: Stevie Swing kicks out in the nick of time!
Steve Hebert: Just barely! She caught him by surprise!
Lex Robinson: Jetting back up, though, Destiny focuses on Stevie, who tries to rise, but tries to roll him up with a Majistral Cradle...! Wait, no... he shoves her off, pushing her into the ropes. She returns with a running kick, which Stevie blocks by grabbing onto her foot. He whips her around...
Steve Hebert: She swings around with a Dragon Kick, though! But that asshole, Stevie Swing, ducks it!
Lex Robinson: Unfortunately, he cannot duck beneath the swinging roundhouse kick from Destiny, which she follows up after having her original attempt blocked! Stevie Swing falls like a sack of bricks. The cover is being made by Destiny...
...1...2...
Steve Hebert: That asshole kicks out, yet again!
Lex Robinson: The match keeps going. Both Destiny and Stevie want the chance to fight for the World Title; they're putting everything on the line.
Steve Hebert: Everything, schmeverything... she just needs to knee that prick in the balls and it'll be all over.
Frustrated at the lack of a three-count, Destiny stands to her feet, grabs Stevie's right arm and attempts to drag him towards the center of the ring, hoping to re-apply The Cottonmouth.
Lex Robinson: As Destiny hunches over, trying to grab onto Stevie, he reaches up, wrenches his arms around her and inside-cradles her!
Steve Hebert: Oh no...
...1...2...
Lex Robinson: Destiny rolls to the side, reversing the pinfall attempt, rolling things into her favor...
Steve Hebert: Now that's what I like to hear!
Having the cradle reversed, Destiny now tries a pinfall on Stevie Swing...
...1...2...
Lex Robinson: Stevie rolls the cradle back into his favor!
Steve Hebert: What the...?
...1...2...
Steve Hebert: Destiny kicks out, freeing herself from the cradle and from Stevie Swing's greasy clutches!
Lex Robinson: Both Destiny and Stevie rise at the same time, in a battered daze. At the exact same time, they turn to face each other, with Stevie Swing throwing The Last Dance superkick at Destiny's face!
Steve Hebert: She catches his foot! So much for that, hey Stevie, you goddamn dancing douchebag! Not only that, but Destiny goes for a back swinging legsweep!
Lex Robinson: Whoa, whoa, wait; Stevie leaps over Destiny's legsweep attempt, allowing her to quickly snap back up to her feet.
Steve Hebert: Jesus Christ.
Like a spring, Destiny flies up to her feet, only to walk directly into The Last Dance superkick from Stevie Swing!
Lex Robinson: The Last Dance!
Steve Hebert: Ooof. That hit right here. I could feel that.
Lex Robinson: Out of nowhere, he strikes her with The Last Dance! She's down and out... and Stevie Swing is staggering in to the corner, where he climbs to the top rope. For the second time tonight, he hits The Morgasm!
Steve Hebert: Ugh. That's fucking sickening.
Stevie Swing covers Destiny Daniels...
Lex Robinson: The cover is made. Here comes the count.
...1...2...
Steve Hebert: No... please, no.
...3!
Lex Robinson: He did it! Stevie Swing has defeated Destiny Daniels!
Steve Hebert: I could just vomit.
Lex Robinson: You can do that while Stevie Swing celebrates his victory, and his standing as the number one contender to the World Title!
Steve Hebert: Ah, go to fuck.
Standing victoriously in the ring, Stevie Swing has his arm raised by the referee and saunters over to the cameraman, who stands on the ring apron, pointing the camera at him. He begins to speak into the camera.
Stevie Swing: Morgana... Morgy... I won this match for you!
Steve Hebert: Yup, it's definitely time to puke.
Stepping back, Stevie exits the ring, leaving an angry and stunned Destiny Daniels alone in the ring.
Lex Robinson: It was good attempt by Destiny; unfortunately it just wasn't close enough.
Steve Hebert: She was robbed. Robbed, I say!
Lex Robinson: You wish.
Steve Hebert: I really, really do.
Lex Robinson: Nevertheless, Stevie Swing is the winner of the tournament; and thus, he is officially the number one contender to the World Title. Will Morgana still hold it by the end of the night? I guess we'll have to see.
Steve Hebert: Just shoot me, already.
The camera fades out, trailing behind Destiny as she stumbles to the back.
Winner: Stevie Swing
Suddenly, the car begins to back up, headed towards a lake, which is at the bottom of an embankment. The camera gleers down this embankment, watching as a trail of crocodiles swim back-and-forth, obviously disturbed by the sounds of the engine. As the car nears the edge of the bank, Dan Black steps out, smiling and slams his fist on the back of the trunk, getting Lacklan's attention.
Dan Black: This is the end of the road for you, you gothic bastard.
Getting in front of the bonnet, Dan Black hunches over, placing both hands on the car. He begins to shove the car backward, edging it closer to the bank, where the back wheels finally slip over the ledge, giving Dan the extra needed boost to push the car into the lake.
Dan Black: And off you go.
Dan Black stands on his feet, watching as the car rolls down the hill, eventually making a thunderous splash that sends waves everywhere, as it crashes into the water. Immediately, crocodiles begin circling and swarming the car, while Dan Black walks off, chuckling to himself.
Robo-Teddy: ARGH! I'll cut ya! And I'll bite ya!
With his teeth sinking into Shane's ankle, Robo-Teddy is soon sent flying through the air, thanks to Shane Donovan kicking him halfway across the hall.
Shane Donovan: Goddamn mutt... or whatever the hell it is.
Just then, Savage Youth runs into the scene.
Savage Youth: Hey... hey... did anyone see Robo-Teddy?! Anyone?!
Shane walks up to Savage Youth, taps him on the shoulder and points to Robo-Teddy thrown into a crate of boxes. Surprised and horrified, Savage Youth's jaw pops open, not liking what he sees.
Savage Youth: You monster! How could you!
Shrugging off Savage Youth's words, Shane walks off, headed towards the ringside area.
Lex Robinson: It's main event time! We've seen the buildup; and tonight, it all boils down to right here, right now. We have Casanova headed to the ring. His partner, of course, will be Shane Donovan, who has had major Wifey trouble these past few weeks. Together, they try to take down Team Wifey, try to steal one of their titles away; and on top of all that, they will try to end Morgana's winning streak!
Steve Hebert: Ugh... that winning streak. I had forgotten all about that.
Lex Robinson: Yep, well... right now, the record for wins belongs to that man, who is coming down to the ring, right now. He got 13 in a row, finally having his streak ended by Gwenivere Jordan. Currently, Morgana has 11 in a row; she needs two more to tie.
Steve Hebert: Casanova has been defeated by the Wifeys twice, I rest assured that he will not let it happen for a third time.
Lex Robinson: We'll have to see about that, I suppose!
"The Outsider (Resident Reinhold mix" by A Perfect Circle begins to play as Shane Donovan makes his way to the ring, his eyes scanning the crowd as he walks down the aisle, sliding into the ring. Shane removes his jacket, handing it to a stagehand before taking his place in the corner, waiting for the match to begin.
Steve Hebert: Ahh, there he is. The guy who will restore order within the ranks of Sin Wrestling. It's about goddamn time, too.
Lex Robinson: I guess he failed to do when he was beaten back-to-back by Adora, eh?
Steve Hebert: Err... uhm... it was an accident. It was all Morgana's fault.
Lex Robinson: But she never--...
Steve Hebert: Yes, it's all her fault... for showing those legs, wiggling those boobs and acting all sexy. What do you think is going to happen? Fuck you, Morgy, you tramp.
Lex Robinson: ...I see. Makes sense!
Steve Hebert: Damn right.
Steve Hebert: Booo! Booooooo!
Lex Robinson: You're the only one booing, Steve.
Steve Hebert: That's good. I'm fine with that.
Lex Robinson: I'm sure you are.
Morgana and Adora slide into the ring, removing their title belts as they get inside, handing them off to the referee, who then passes the titles off to the timekeeper. As he hands the belts off, he calls for the bell.
Ding, ding, ding!
Lex Robinson: Here we go! It's tornado tag rules, which means everyone will be inside of the ring at the same time.
Steve Hebert: Aka; pure, unadulterated chaos.
Nano-seconds after the ringing of the bell, Casanova and Shane Donovan dart across the ring, catching Morgana and Adora off-guard, as they are handing their titles off.
Lex Robinson: In a sneaky and underhanded way of starting things, Casanova attacks Morgy from behind, while Shane Donovan targets Adora, striking her with a clubbing blow to the back of her neck.
Steve Hebert: Ah... that's right. Her neck and back have been regularly worked over by Shane Donovan, so it's a damn good decision to go after those body parts.
Lex Robinson: As dirty as the attack from behind is, I actually gotta agree with you. Having knocked Adora down, Shane begins to drive his knee into the back of Adora's head, grinding her face against the bottom rope.
Steve Hebert: And this comes as Morgana is whipped into the ropes and flapjacked by Casanova, who then climbs to the top rope, measuring the World Champion up.
As Casanova climbs the turnbuckles, Adora breaks free of Shane Donovan's attacks, smashing him with a rising forearm to his gut, which she follows up by striking an elbow-shot to the face. A spin kick later, Adora has Shane Donovan floored and is charging over towards Casanova, battling it out with him on the top rope, enabling Morgana the chance to recover.
Lex Robinson: Adora quickly escalates to the top rope, where she and Casanova exchange blows. In the meantime, Morgana rises and goes to aide Adora, only to have Shane Donovan come up behind her, full-nelson her, and then fling her across the ring with a release full-nelson suplex!
Steve Hebert: The skank just landed on her pink head!
Lex Robinson: Instead of Morgana going in, it's Shane Donovan who creeps up on Adora, striking her from behind with a double-axehandle, which Casanova also capitalizes on by chopping Adora across the chest!
Having Adora stricken with some more axehandle shots, Shane positions her on his shoulders in an electric chair position. Shane steps back, allowing for Casanova to step onto the top turnbuckle.
Steve Hebert: They're going to end this shit early! Thank god!
Lex Robinson: Not quite. Before Casanova can leap off, a stunned Morgana blitzes to her feet and storms into the corner, pushing Casanova off the top turnbuckle, sending him flying through the air, crotching him on the top rope, much to the displeasure of every male in attendance!
Steve Hebert: Well Jesus, I thought it was bad when it happened to Destiny Daniels. But she doesn't have a cock... but Casanova's does. A vampire cock, but still!
Lex Robinson: Taking advantage of Casanova's spill, Adora begins to quickly hammer away at Shane Donovan's head, frantically trying to find a means to escape. Eventually, she is able to Victory Roll him, hooking both of his legs down, in the process.
Steve Hebert: Oh, fucking shit...
The referee makes the count...
...1...2...
Steve Hebert: Shane easily kicks out!
Lex Robinson: I really don't think it'll get done this fast, Steve.
Steve Hebert: We'll see about that after Shane locks The Clincher on Adora.
Lex Robinson: By the current looks of things, I really don't think that'll be happening any time soon.
Seconds after Shane kicks out from the Victory Roll, Morgana springboards off the top rope and leaps towards Casanova, who is still hung up on the top rope, feeling the wrath of landing on his testicles.
Lex Robinson: Morgy glides through the air, lands on Casanova's shoulders and quickly swings her body around, giving him a huracanrana! The snap of the move is so great, that it sends Casanova bumbling off the top rope, vaulting him all the way out to the floor, where he lands with a thud, landing harshly on his lower back!
Steve Hebert: Ouch! But he's a vampire, so he'll get over that.
Lex Robinson: I thought you didn't believe in vampires.
Steve Hebert: I was visited in a dream by Buffy. Trust me.
Lex Robinson: Well, that makes absolutely no goddamn sense.
Steve Hebert: Just work with me, asshole.
Lex Robinson: Having bound Casanova out to the floor, this leaves Adora and Morgana alone with Shane Donovan, able to work over him as a unit.
Steve Hebert: They can work over my unit.
Showing their true unity as a team, Adora and Morgana target Shane, knocking him up against the ropes with a series of kicks, stomps and chops. In addition to all of this, Adora even strikes him with some high-rising kicks, some of which strike him in the face and chest.
Lex Robinson: When Shane is in enough of a daze, Morgana and Adora go to whip him out. They join hands, looking to clothesline Shane down, but as he springs back, he bursts completely through their linked hands!
Steve Hebert: Good! He traverses into the opposite set of ropes, too! He storms back, with full speed, and extends both of his arms, knocking both sluts down with a double-clothesline!
Lex Robinson: Ack! Yanking Adora up by her hair, Shane hoists her up into a vertical suplex position, steps forward and then drops her stomach-first across the top rope! That's like being dropped stomach-first onto a cable. That honestly cannot be good.
Steve Hebert: I think it broke her uterus, quite honestly.
Lex Robinson: Whatever. As she lays on the top rope, Shane fires some fists into her skull, turning his back on the World Champion, allowing her to rise.
Steve Hebert: A-ha; but he turns around, seeing her charge at him. Thinking quickly, he heaves her into the air, tossing her to the outside...
Lex Robinson: Where she falls all the way down, landing on Casanova's shoulders and huracanranas him on the floor!
Steve Hebert: Aw, fuck me.
Realizing his previous mistake, Shane focuses on Adora, who is still hanging on the top rope, trying to recover. Her attempts are thwarted, though, as Shane steps up to her headbutts her and then punches her in the temple a few times. Forcing Adora to stand on the side of the apron, Shane turns her around and bends her back over the top rope, where he clubs her across the chest, hoping to wind her.
Lex Robinson: Shane Donovan with a clubbing blow to Adora's chest, winding her!
Steve Hebert: So much for breathing! Oxygen is over for her.
Lex Robinson: Looking at Adora stagger on the side of the apron, Shane Donovan bounces off the furthest set of ropes and bounces forward. Speeding towards Adora, Shane Donovan dives toward her, hoping to knock her off the apron and onto Morgana, who is standing below, but Adora evades the attack by dropping down, pulling the top rope down with her! As a result, Shane Donovan goes flying out of the ring, headed straight towards Morgy!
Steve Hebert: She ducks down, and Shane Donovan flies straight into Casanova with a suicide dive headbutt! That's not fair! He didn't see Shane coming!
Lex Robinson: Blah, blah, blah. It would have been different if he had struck Morgana.
Steve Hebert: Well, obviously. She doesn't put out to me. Anyone who doesn't put out to me is just an old whore!
Lex Robinson: Right on.
On the floor, Casanova and Shane help each other to stand, not paying attention to The Wifeys, who are coming up with a plan. On the ring apron, Adora stands, focusing on her two opponents who congregate on the floor.
Lex Robinson: Adora uses the top rope as a springboard! She dives off, flying towards Shane and Casanova with a twisting corkscrew springboard moonsault plancha!
Steve Hebert: Unlike before, it's Casanova who sees Adora flying through the air and decides to duck; wisely so, might I add. Unfortunately, that means Adora crashes right into Shane Donovan, taking him down! Ugh! Just ugh!
Lex Robinson: Laughing at Shane's demise, Casanova doesn't see Morgana climbing to the top turnbuckle, inside of the ring. She leaps off with a corkscrew shooting star press to the floor, adding in an extra twist, defying gravity yet again!
Steve Hebert: And whadd'ya know, Casanova turns around, just to walk right into the path of Morgana, who crushes him on the floor! Fucking wonderful.
Lex Robinson: A little put-down and sarcastic, Steve?
Steve Hebert: Fuck you; don't talk to me.
Listening to the fans go nuts and chant "WIFEY! WIFEY! WIFEY!", Morgana and Adora stand and focus on Casanova, whom they both roll into the ring. They both crawl in behind him, taking time to focus on him, wanting to wear him down; both women having their own personal reasons for wanting to take him out.
Lex Robinson: Inside of the ring, both women unload some chops and kicks onto Casanova, backing him up against the ropes. In unison, Adora and Morgana whip him across the ring, with both ladies connecting with a dropkick to Casanova's knees, upon his return.
Steve Hebert: Argh! That causes him to faceplant!
Lex Robinson: I believe that's the idea, Steve. That and kicking both of his knees out.
Steve Hebert: F you.
With Casanova laying on the mat, Adora and Morgana grab both of his legs and wishbone-split him, following that up with Adora standing over him, holding her hands out for Morgana to step onto it. From here, Adora propels Morgana into the air, allowing Morgana to hit a twisting corkscrew senton splash!
Lex Robinson: What a move by Team Wifey! Adora just helped Morgana to fly!
Steve Hebert: She has no wings, Lex. So, she'll be forced to be grounded, eventually. And that World Title will be ripped from her clutches, in the process.
Lex Robinson: Maybe. But for the time being, the Wifeys are firmly in control of things. In fact, they aide Casanova in standing back up. Adora grabs onto Casanova's head, leaps up and brings him back down with a lungblower, jamming both of her knees into his chest!
Steve Hebert: Oh God.
Lex Robinson: Feeling the impact of the blow, including having all oxygen ripped from his lungs, Casanova snaps back, only to have Morgana grab onto him and deliver a back-cracker; jamming both of her knees into Casanova's back!
Steve Hebert: Jesus, it just gets worse.
Lex Robinson: As Casanova lays across Morgana's knees, Adora quickly scrambles to her feet and rushes towards the ropes. She hits a springboard moonsault onto Casanova, who was held up on Morgy's knees! Adora goes for a cover!
The referee quickly counts.
...1...2...
Seeing Casanova covered, Shane Donovan rolls back inside, grabs onto Adora's foot and yanks her off.
Steve Hebert: Shane Donovan to the rescue! Phew!
Lex Robinson: Having the count broken-up, Shane Donovan clubs Adora in the back of her cranium with a stiff fist. Furthermore, he release Northern Lights Suplexes her into the corner, sending her upside-down into the turnbuckles!
Steve Hebert: Trapping her in a Tree-of-Woe, no less.
Lex Robinson: Yup, she remains hung upside-down in the corner, where Shane Donovan stomps on her face, turns around and faces Morgana, who is now charging in at him, hoping to gain vengeance for Adora and her predicament. He steps to the side, grabs Morgana, applies a half-nelson, lifts her into the air and then drops her across his knee!
Steve Hebert: A backbreaker right across Shane's knee! The bitch is dead!
Lex Robinson: He then quickly transfers her back up to a standing position, where he places her into a standing butterfly lock. He lifts her up, flips her over and drops her back down across his knee for the second straight time, delivering a powerbomb into a backbreaker!
Having dropped Morgana across his knee twice, Shane lifts her back up and then sits her on the top rope, having her above Adora, who remains hung-up in the corner. Turning his back, Shane steps in and places his hands beneath Morgana's armpits, as Casanova rises to his feet and also charges in.
Lex Robinson: Here comes Casanova!
Steve Hebert: Blammo! He delivers a running baseball-slide dropkick right into Adora's face, sliding in between Shane's legs!
Lex Robinson: And just as he connects, Shane hoists Morgana out of the corner and brings her harshly back down to earth with a Splash Mountain Powerbomb! He makes the cover!
Steve Hebert: Good!
Lex Robinson: The referee drops down and begins his count...
...1...
Lex Robinson: One...!
...2...
Lex Robinson: Two...
...
Lex Robinson: She kicks out! Morgana kicks out, freeing herself from the loss!
Steve Hebert: Well fuck, Shane was just seconds away from becoming the new World Champion.
Lex Robinson: What a spit in the face of the Wifeys would that be.
Steve Hebert: I know, wouldn't it be great? Usually, it's the Wifeys that spit instead of swallowing; so, what a difference that would be!
Lex Robinson: You have no evidence of this.
Steve Hebert: Of course I do. Booger told me.
Lex Robinson: Too f'n gross.
In the corner, Casanova grabs Adora by her hair and hoists her up, hammering her in the face with his fist several times, eventually pulling her up onto the top rope in a seated position.
Lex Robinson: No longer hung upside-down in the corner, Adora is sat on the top rope, with Casanova coming up along with her. Up here, the vampire and former World Champion wraps his arms around the current Television Champion, waistlocking her and attempts to throw her back. However, as wary as always, Adora looks over her shoulder and starts sending some elbows to Casanova's face, trying to find off the suplex attempt.
Steve Hebert: But it fails!
Lex Robinson: Casanova is able to fling Adora from the top rope, heaving Adora across the ring with a spider-German suplex, allowing him to hang upside-down from the top rope, leaving his legs interlocked around the ropes, while Adora goes flying!
Steve Hebert: Not letting himself hang for too long, Casanova pulls himself up and begins to stand on the top turnbuckle pad.
Lex Robinson: I'm surprised you didn't make a vampire joke, Steve. Perhaps something about vampires hanging upside-down.
Steve Hebert: Oh, please, Lex. I'm a mature man, now.
Standing on the top rope, Casanova reverses his positioning, so that he is now facing Shane Donovan, watching as Shane standing headscissors Morgana and then lifts her up into a powerbomb position. Laying her out, Shane patiently waits for Casanova to leap off the top rope.
Lex Robinson: A powerbomb/flying legdrop combination for Casanova and Shane Donovan! Morgana has been pancaked into the canvas!
Steve Hebert: Sounds good to me!
Lex Robinson: In perhaps a bad move, Casanova and Shane opt not to cover Morgana, but to instead lift Adora up. Adora, who is still woozy from being flung across the ring, is privy to a punch in the skull from Shane, who follows that up by delivering a knee to her gut. He puts her into a pump-handle position, perhaps setting her up for The Breakdown.
Steve Hebert: But she squirms out of his clutches and lands behind Shane, as he goes to lift her up!
Lex Robinson: Not only that, but she pushes Shane forward, causing him to smash right into Casanova, who was about to lift Morgana up to her feet. This collision causes Casanova to stumble into the corner, while Shane hunches over, holding his ribs. This allows Adora to charge forward, propel herself off Shane's back and fly through the air, connecting with a flying kick to the side of Casanova's head! Holy shit! Adora's on fire!
Steve Hebert: Quick! Put her out! Give me your bottle of water, Lex.
Lex Robinson: Don't you even think about touching that!
Steve Hebert: Fine, fine. Son of a...
Feeling the brunt of the kick, Casanova stumbles out, almost bumping into Shane, again. Seeing this, Adora, who is now standing on the outer portion of the apron, uses the top rope to springboard herself back into the ring. Flipping over in the air, she somersaults and connects with a dropkick to Casanova's back, giving him the extra-push to smash against Shane Donovan, knocking Shane backwards!
Steve Hebert: Oh no!
Lex Robinson: Incidentally, Shane trips over Morgana, who was on her hands and knees behind him! Morgana rolls him up!
Steve Hebert: Oh no! Oh no! No, no, no!
Jack-knifing Shane's legs, Morgana tries for the cover...
...1...2...
Steve Hebert: No! Shane kicks out!
Lex Robinson: Almost a three!
Steve Hebert: That's right; almost. Not quite a three, Lex.
Stunned with the near pinfall, Shane storms up to his feet, only to catch Morgana with a kneelift to the face. He lifts her up onto his shoulders, putting her into a standing fireman's carry, he's about to throw her forward, presumably to drop her across his knee, but she reaches out, grabs onto his right arm and armdrags him down, escaping possible damnation.
Lex Robinson: Morgana worms her way to safety! However, Shane pops right back up and charges at Morgy, deciding to throw a clothesline at her head.
Steve Hebert: The whore ducks it!
Lex Robinson: Errr... well, yes. Morgana then sees Adora run towards her, which gets her mind racing. Morgana tosses Adora into the air, allowing for Adora to glide through the air and connect with a dropkick to Shane's face, knocking him to the ground!
Steve Hebert: He rolls out to the floor, escaping those damn Wifeys. God, I hate those hot little sluts so much. They remind me of the cheerleaders in high school that wouldn't fuck me because I was a fatty.
Lex Robinson: "Was"?
Steve Hebert: Shut the fuck up.
The momentum being built up by The Wifeys is soon dissipated by Casanova, who steamrolls out of the corner and knocks both Adora and Morgana down with a double-lariat, which sends both women flipping and twisting in the air.
Steve Hebert: Hell fuckin' yeah! Casanova out of nowhere almost lobs off both Wifey heads!
Lex Robinson: He immediately picks Adora back up, though. Applying a reverse facelock, he soon drops down, delivering a reverse-DDT across his left knee, but quickly snaps her back up, where he places her between his legs with a standing headscissors. Seconds later, he has her hoisted up into a powerbomb position and then drops down...!
Steve Hebert: But he also drops her back-first across both of his knees! That's going to kill her already injured back!
Lex Robinson: I know! I've never seen that before. That's going to be devastating!
Steve Hebert: Good to hear.
Lex Robinson: You're a monster.
Steve Hebert: I am, aren't I?
Lex Robinson: I'm glad to hear you're happy about it. Nevertheless, Adora is being stomped to the floor by Casanova, who is now left alone with Morgana, the pink-haired World Champion.
Turning around, Casanova watches as Morgy rises, smirking as he hovers over her. As he nears her, she sends a punch into his abdomen, which barely causes him to flinch. She tries for a second punch, but before she can connect, he grabs her hair and forces her up to her feet, where he then kicks her in the stomach.
Steve Hebert: The bitch is going to get it now.
Lex Robinson: He punches her in the face, which causes her to snap back and hold her jaw. Of course, being the fighter that she is, Morgana instantly whips around and chops Casanova in the chest. And honestly, I think it stung him.
Steve Hebert: No way, not at all.
Lex Robinson: Casanova swings a fist at Morgy, but it's ducked. Instead, she sends another chop into Casanova's chest... and another... and another... and another! She has him reeling.
Steve Hebert: Nuh uh, no way. Not a chance.
Lex Robinson: It's true! She bounces off the ropes, leaps at Casanova, wraps her legs around him with a body-scissors and then pushes herself off the mat with her hands. Swinging her body up, Morgana reaches up and bulldogs Casanova, dropping him hard on his face!
Steve Hebert: No! No way! It can't happen!
Lex Robinson: It's happening, Steve!
Moments after being dropped on his face, Casanova crawls towards the rope, hanging himself across the middle rope. Seeing this, Morgana bursts into the action and runs across the ring, leaving a near-trail of pink dust behind her.
Lex Robinson: Morgana swings between the top and middle rope, using the charging momentum to bring her around and deliver a swinging-kick to Casanova's knocking him backward! Landing on the apron, she sees him lay parallel to the adjacent set of ropes, instantly putting high-flying thoughts into her head! Springboarding off the top rope, she springs to the adjacent set of ropes, lands on the top rope and hits a split-legged moonsault onto Casanova!
Steve Hebert: Oh no... she's hooking his leg. She's going for the pinfall. This is awful... horrible... horriawful.
Lex Robinson: The count is being made...
...1...2...
Steve Hebert: It's only a two!
Lex Robinson: That's because Shane Donovan races around the outer part of the ring, grabs onto Morgana's hair and drags her off Shane, thus stopping the count.
Steve Hebert: Serves that bitch right for having pink hair. Who does she think she is? Cyndi Lauper?
Lex Robinson: I fail to see... actually, nevermind. I'm done reasoning with you.
Steve Hebert: Thank God.
Lex Robinson: Popping up to her feet, a frustrated Morgana rises to her feet, sweat dripping from her brow. Grabbing onto the top rope, she threatens to dive out onto Shane, but he sees this and backs away. Thinking he has outsmarted Morgana, he taunts the fans, not noticing that she stops herself at the last second.
Steve Hebert: Turn around, Shane! Don't be stupid!
Lex Robinson: As if overhearing your words, Shane does turn around... only to walk right into a baseball-slide dropkick from Morgana, who then pulls herself back into the ring, watching as Shane stumbles around on the floor, holding his face.
Steve Hebert: Christ, what else can happen?
Lex Robinson: For one, Morgana has Shane stumbling around on the floor, allowing her to stand on the outer portion of the apron. She runs ahead... and hits a Shooting Star Press into a DDT onto Shane Donovan, while on the floor!
Steve Hebert: Ah, yup, that could happen. Well, that's just terrible.
Lex Robinson: Shane Donovan's head has been jammed into the concrete!
Steve Hebert: All while Casanova lays on his hands and knees in the ring, looking on in horror. I don't blame him. I would, too.
Lex Robinson: Unfortunately for him, he doesn't spot Adora climbing back onto the ring apron. Using the top rope, she springboards herself through the air and lands with a guillotine legdrop to the back of Casanova's neck, drillng him face-first into the canvas! The Wifeys are in ful control right now.
Steve Hebert: And that turns my stomach.
Lex Robinson: Adora rolls Casanova over, hoping to make the cover.
Steve Hebert: He'll kickout; he has to!
The referee starts his count...
...1...
Lex Robinson: One...
...2...
Steve Hebert: Only a two! I told you so, Lex.
On the outside, Morgana stands, with Shane rising slowly behind her. Despite having the slight advantage in getting up, she is blindsided by an attack from Shane Donovan, who wraps his arms around Morgy and smashes her against the ring railing, spiking the life right out of the World Champion.
Steve Hebert: Shane literally spears Morgana into the railing.
Lex Robinson: Adora sees this, though; and she decides to do something about it. Abandoning Casanova, she walks over to the ropes nearest Shane Donovan, slaps his head from behind and grabs his attention. As he faces her, Adora slingshots herself over the top rope and lands on Shane's shoulders with an attempted huracanrana from the ring to the floor...!
Steve Hebert: But he stands his guard and doesn't go over! Instead, he lets Adora motion through; and instead of flipping over, he swings her head-first into the ring railing, disposing of her with great vigor! Good god yes! I think he just killed our Television Champion. We may as well strip her of that title right now.
Lex Robinson: There won't be any of that. She may be severely hurt... or concussed, though. That was a lethal blow to the head.
Steve Hebert: Hooray! Die Team Wifey, die!
Shrugging off the damage done onto him, Shane Donovan kicks Adora in the head, grabs Morgana by her hair and then rolls her inside, where an exhausted Casanova is waiting for her.
Lex Robinson: The World Champ is rolled into the ring, right into Casanova's clutches, allowing him to stomp on her. He even stands on her pink hair, bends over, grabs onto her hands and then pulls up, forcing Morgana to scream out in agony, while Shane Donovan rolls back inside, having a sadistic smirk on his face.
The referee eventually moves in, forcing Casanova to step away from Morgana, but that doesn't stop Shane Donovan from taking Casanova's place, while the referee's attention is distracted.
Lex Robinson: The fans boo this deception by Shane and Casanova; and rightfully so.
Steve Hebert: These fans are goddamn shitheels, anyhow. Who cares what these douchebags think?
Lex Robinson: When the referee turns around, he forces Shane to step away from Morgana, which he surprisingly obliges. And I think I know why.
Teaming up on Morgana, Shane and Casanova force the current World Champ to stand, backing her against the ropes. They Irish-whip her across the ring, with Casanova catching her upon rebounding, holding her in a bearhug. Shane then bounces off the ropes behind Casanova and comes back with a leaping clothesline, dropping Adora on her back, while Casanova clutches to her legs and rolls her over into a Boston Crab.
Steve Hebert: Look at those series of moves, Lex! It's as if Shane and Casanova have been teaming since forever; when, in reality, it's been 2 weeks!
Lex Robinson: Hey, I gotta give 'em credit. They're performing excellent and are holding The Wifeys back quite well.
Steve Hebert: You better goddamn believe it.
Lex Robinson: While Casanova holds Adora in the Boston Crab, nearly folding her in two, Shane Donovan bounces off the ropes and returns with a leaping knee-drop to the back of Adora's neck, which also prompts Casanova to release the hold! Listen to the boos pour in for these two!
Steve Hebert: Fuck that. Look at Casanova go for the cover on Adora!
The referee drops down and makes the cover...
...1...
However, Shane Donovan steps over to him, confused, and taps him on the shoulder, forcing the count to break.
Steve Hebert: What the hell, Shane?! Let the referee count!
Lex Robinson: I think Shane wants to make the cover.
Steve Hebert: What the Christ? Just cover the goddamn bitch. I don't care who does it; just do it!
Lex Robinson: They can't get past their massive egos, that's the problem.
Casanova rises to his feet and gets in a heated discussion with Shane Donovan, not noticing that Morgana has crawled into the corner, getting over the damage done onto her. Using the top rope, she pulls herself up to her feet, glancing at Shane and Casanova, who continue to send some words back and forth to each other. They don't see Morgana's improved condition until they see her bolt from the corner.
Lex Robinson: John Woo kick! A John Woo kick to both Shane and Casanova sends them both tumbling into the corner, the force of the blow so hard, that it sends Casanova rolling out of the ring! Holy shit!
Steve Hebert: How the Christ did she manage to pull that out?!
Lex Robinson: She literally pulled it out of her toes... or something. Hell, I don't know! Good lord.
Both Shane and Morgy lie in the ring, trying hard to get back to their feet, with Morgana being the first person up, only to receive a punch to the stomach from Shane Donovan. Firing back, Morgana strikes a knee to Shane's face, batters him with a dropkick to the head and has him knocked against the ropes. She goes to whip him out, but has it reversed...
Steve Hebert: Shane uses his MANLY strength to reverse the Irish-whip, throwing Morgana into the ropes. She bounces back and Shane throws her into the air!
Lex Robinson: What goes up, must come down; however, when she comes down, she locks her legs around Shane's head, giving him a huracanrana into a rollup! This is it!
...1...2...
Lex Robinson: One... two...
Steve Hebert: Shane kicks out! Holy Christ!
Lex Robinson: Oh man! So damn close.
Both Morgana and Shane get to stumble to their feet, with Adora rolling in from the side, still dizzy from having her head slammed into the railing. Despite this, she joins Morgana in striking Shane Donovan.
Lex Robinson: Before Shane Donovan can attack, Adora comes up behind him, much to the pleasure of the audience. She strikes him with a martial arts kick to the kidneys, forcing him to hunch over. From the front, Morgana leaps onto Shane's back, jumps into the air and comes crashing down, flipping Shane down with a huracanrana!
Steve Hebert: Fuck you, Wifeys!
Lex Robinson: Their doubleteaming continues, having laid Shane laid out in the center of the ring. They go to seperate corners, climbing up to their own respective turnbuckle pads.
Steve Hebert: Casanova leaps up onto the apron and shoves Morgana off, sending her flying through the air, forcing her to crash into the railing, on the outside! Hope isn't dead yet!
Lex Robinson: Adora leaps off the top rope, hoping to hit a somersault senton bomb; but Shane rolls out of the way!
Steve Hebert: Even goddamn better! Thank f'n Christ!
Lex Robinson: Meanwhile, Casanova dukes it out with Morgana, out on the floor.
Steve Hebert: He even bashes her skull off our table. Smack that slut, Cas. Show her that vampires are superior to whores.
Lex Robinson: A groggy Shane Donovan struggles upward, helping himself up to his feet, using the top rope to help him stand. Seeing Adora hold her back, while getting to a kneeling position, Shane Donovan charges in, gutwrenches her and then gutwrench powerbombs her, showing no mercy in slamming her to the canvas!
Steve Hebert: But he decides against covering her! Why?!
Lex Robinson: It appears he wants to inflict even more damage... or... wait... he's standing behind her, as if he were some sort of predator.
Steve Hebert: I believe it's Clincher time, Lex!
Lex Robinson: This could be disastrous for Adora! She better think of something, and quick.
Steve Hebert: Hell nos. He grabs her... but she struggles for freedom.
Lex Robinson: He maintains his hold on her, clutching in even harder!
Steve Hebert: Good! Tap her the fuck out!
Lex Robinson: Adora struggles, leading Shane into the corner, not letting him drop down and apply the second half of his move. In here, she uses her feet to climb the buckles... and presses off the top turnbuckle, landing on Shane, getting a pinfall!
Steve Hebert: Oh fuck...
The referee makes the count...
...1...2...
Steve Hebert: Shane powers his way out!
LeX Robinson: This leaves Adora behind him... allowing her to lock in the Dragon Sleeper, which forced him to tap out a few weeks ago! She has it locked in! This match is going to be over!
Steve Hebert: No! Fuck no! He's going to power out of it! I just know it!
Lex Robinson: She's locking it in tightly, not giving Shane any room! He's inching closer and closer to tapping!
After jamming Morgana face into the ring apron, Casanova peeks inside of the ring and sees Shane locked tightly in the Dragon Sleeper. This causes him to roll inside and charge up to Adora.
Lex Robinson: Casanova frees Shane by delivering a swift running big boot to the face! Adora drops to the canvas, holding her head!
Steve Hebert: Thank fucking God.
LeX Robinson: However, Morgana rolls inside, leaps onto Casanova's shoulders and delivers a reverse huracanrana onto him, much like how Adora did at Eternity! He rolls to the floor, where Morgana follows him out with a slingshot twisting plancha!
Clutching her face, Adora is peeled off the canvas by Shane, who delivers a few European Uppercuts. He Irish-whips her into the ropes and she comes bouncing back, only to cartwheel out of the way of a clothesline attempt.
Lex Robinson: A nice escape by Adora!
Steve Hebert: But as even nicer follow-up by Shane Donovan, who turns around and lariats Adora out of her shoes -- literally! Her shoes went flying!
Lex Robinson: Good God, that almost decapitated her!
Steve Hebert: He's not done yet, either! He lifts her up, goes belly-to-back with her and then positions her for the Vertebreaker...! This is one of his moves! He has used this to put numerous people away!
Lex Robinson: He hits it! He hits it! He drives Adora into the canvas, head-first! Her nuck buckles beneath the blow! He rolls on top of her, going for the pinfall...!
Steve Hebert: Count, referee, count!
...1...2...
Steve Hebert: One... two... and...
Lex Robinson: Morgasm!
Seconds after Adora is dropped on her head, Morgana whips around and spots Shane Donovan covering her Wifey. Springing up onto the apron, she quickly elevates to the top rope, in a matter of nano-seconds. At the count of one, she leaps off, landing on Shane Donovan at the count of two, landing a Morgasm!
Lex Robinson: The Morgasm has been hit on Shane Donovan! Morgy turns him onto his back, covering him. Here goes nothing!
...1...
Lex Robinson: One...!
...2...
Lex Robinson: Two...!
...
Lex Robinson: Three!
Steve Hebert: No! Casanova reaches inside, grabs Morgana by her foot and slides her outside, stopping the count!
Lex Robinson: Oh my God! So close!
Steve Hebert: He hits Morgana with the Destiny Calling, while on the floor! That's one of his older finishers! He has her laid out!
Lex Robinson: In a daze, he quickly gets up and slides inside, where he views Adora trying to rise, after being dropped on her skull.
Steve Hebert: Shane is down... Morgana is down... and Adora is barely standing. This is your chance, Cas.
Lex Robinson: And he's going to capitalize on it. As Adora turns around, he kicks her in the gut, pulls her in and then hits the Second Death! This could be it! It could be over! Casanova rolls on top of Adora and hooks her leg!
Steve Hebert: Good! Thank fucking Jesus! The count is being made!
...1...2...
Steve Hebert: She's out! We're going to have a new Television Champion!
...3!
Steve Hebert: He did it! Hell yes! There's the three! Casanova is the new TV Champion!
"Pain Redefined" by Disturbed hits, signalling the end of the match.
Steve Hebert: I knew it! The Wifeys are dead!
Lex Robinson: After 120 days, Adora has been defeated for the Television Championship. One of the longest singles title reigns in Sin Wrestling has finally come to an end.
Steve Hebert: Most importantly, Casanova is responsible for the end of Morgana's winning streak. 11 wins in a row is nothing compared to Casanova's 13. What a great night, Lex!
Lex Robinson: What a great match we've just bared witness to. Where does everything go from here? I have no idea. You'll have to pay attention to Sin Wrestling this summer, where things are really going to heat up.
Steve Hebert: Speaking of being hot, I'm roasted. I'm going to take off my shirt and dance half-naked with Casanova, in the middle of the ring.
Lex Robinson: You stay right there, moron... and keep your clothes on.
Steve Hebert: Fine.
The final images of Dead End Road are that of Casanova being awarded the Television Title. He sits up, holding the belt in his clutches, holding it for the second time in his career, while everyone else remains laid out in the ring; or in Morgana's case, laid out on the floor.
Winners: Shane Donovan and Casanova