Location: On a cruise ship, in the Atlantic
Theme Music: Strung Out -- "War Called Home"
The fans in attendance are given a special match before the cameras begin to roll. Out first is Tony Millennia, barely looking ready for a match. He is followed by Generic Heel, who comes out, arguing with various fans.
Once the match starts, the two begin with a staredown... and then a thumb-wrestling match, with neither man seeming to get an upper-hand. After this, they challenge each other to a game of "Connect Four" and then "Tic Tac Toe". Once again, neither man can walk out as the victor.
Generic Heel challenges Tony to a game of Scrabble, but just as Tony reaches inside of the bag to pull out some letters, Generic Heel whacks him upside the head with the Scrabble board! Seconds later, Generic Heel begins tickling Tony Millennia, who has no other choice but to submit.
Standing to his feet, Generic Heel does a victory dance, moonwalking like Michael Jackson, as the fans begin throwing junk at him. When that's done, he walks to the back, proud of his 1 millionth victory, while Tony looks distressed.
Winner: Generic Heel
A cruiseship bobs out at sea, isolated and away from all land. On this boat is the pink-haired maiden known as Morgana, feeling bruised and beaten from her vicious match against Chris Carson at One Minute 'Til Midnight. Alongside her is her Wifey, Adora, former Television Champion, who has accompanied Morgy on her vacation, whose golden hair glistens in the sunlight.
Morgana: This is going to be a nice vacation. I needed to get away from Sin Wrestling for a while. There's way too many shitheads and assholes there.
Adora: Chris Carson, for example.
Morgana: Mmmhmmm. But I'm done with him, now. I buried him, like I told everyone so. However, there's also this new group... those guys that attacked us. Who the fuck are they? Stupidest shit, ever. What right do they even have in coming in after our match?!
Adora: Yep, you definitely need a vacation.
Adora watches Morgy, who steps toward the side of the ship, admiring the view.
Morgana: Agreed. I'm just glad to be... away... for... a... while...
Confused with Morgana's slow-paced speech, Adora questions her longtime friend.
Adora: Uhm... what's wrong...
Morgana watches a scuba-diver swim by the swim of the boat. A scuba-diva that looks strangely like Corey Page, the owner of Sin Wrestling.
Morgana: I... uh... nevermind.
Thinking Morgy has been standing for too long, Adora pipes in.
Adora: I think we need to sit down. Get a drink, perhaps.
Watching as the scuba-diver swims next to a shark.
Morgana: Yeah... that's it... yeah.
In the ocean, the scuba-diver grabs the shark and delivers the Youthanasia, a reverse-Russian legsweep into the ocean! Morgana rubs her eyes, as Adora grabs onto her, about to lead her away.
Morgana: What the...?
Adora: Come, come...
Adora looks overboard, seeing nothing but ripples on the water.
Morgana: I really need to take a seat. Definitely.
The Wifeys walk away. In the meantime, the scuba-diver emerges from beneath the water, headlocking a shark, who has been knocked unconscious. The diver removes his headgear... revealing himself to be Corey Page.
Corey and the dead shark swim off, and the opening for Eternity plays.
Iced Earth's "Stand Alone" kicks in full force throughout the arena and the fans rise to their feet to jeer the imminent arrival of Hysteria. A burst of pyro at the top of the ramp accompanies the change in rhythm and sure enough Hysteria steps out from the back, paying absolutely no attention whatsoever to the negative reaction of the crowd.
Those who feel you're a freak
Everything about you is wrong
You must be sick, you don't belong
Father said, worry not what they say
Use your mind, your own free will
In a time when everyone follows
Ignorance can kill
Hysteria soon reaches the bottom of the ramp and hops up onto the apron before slipping in through the top two ropes. He paces around the ring, ready to go.
The ReKon insignia flashes on the forefront of a black screen. The notorious theme song from the infamous Terminator trilogy blasts through the sound barrier to indicate the entrance of a beloved warrior of all that is awkward. Twelve, if not more, cameras pan over the always enthusiastic crowd of wrestling fanatics now being engulfed in lively strobe lights; at the core of which is a gigantic spotlight illuminating everything in sight. Gun fire and explosions erupt in the background, causing many to jump, startled. The members of the audience all appear to be wearing camouflage via visual effects, which results in a strict semblance of a military base. A single camera angles upward, where we immediately spot a man slowly descending from a helicopter via a parachute.
As the theme winds down, ReKon releases himself from the parachute and falls several inches to the canvas at the center of the ring. Stagehands roll up the parachute and stuff it under the ring. ReKon climbs the closest turnbuckle and salutes his fans who return the gesture. The visual effects start to dim as the music fades. ReKon performs the finishing touches of his warm-up regiment, highlighted by the tossing of t-shirts and boxes of ReKon Krackers in the form of M.R.I.'s into the sea of fans. He slides out of the ring to give a young fan a T-shirt personally.
As ReKon approaches the ropes, Hysteria attempts a head-first top-rope plancha, but the Lieutenant is ready. He steps to the side and nails a double axe-handle across Hysteria's head. He starts to go to work with kicks to Hysteria's back, then pushes the high-flier back into the ring. ReKon quickly climbs the turnbuckles and comes off the ropes with a quick flying headbutt. He attempts a pin...
...1...2...
ReKon stands Hysteria up and unleashes European uppercuts in the corner. He drags Hysteria back and hits a quick snap suplex...
Another cover is made...
...1...2...
He tries to lock Hysteria into an armbar, only for Hysteria to kick ReKon in the head to stop the hold. With ReKon back on the mat, Hysteria hits a standing Senton. This time, it's Hysteria making a count...
...1...
Hysteria tries his own quick submission, stepping into a Boston crab, but before he can lock it in, ReKon powers out of it. He pulls himself up the ropes, forcing Hysteria to back off, but once Hysteria approaches for another hold, ReKon nails a dropkick. As Hysteria staggers up to a standing position, ReKon charges forth and tries to hit every DDT imaginable.
For example, he hits a Tarantula-DDT, and then makes a cover...
...1...2...
But Hysteria kicks out!
ReKon pulls his opponent up and hits a reverse-DDT! Another cover is made...
...1...2...
Yet again, Hysteria kicks out!
Finally, ReKon exits to the apron, where he waits for Hysteria to stand. With a springboard, ReKon jumps through the air, hitting a springboard Tornado-DDT! He again covers Hysteria...!
...1...2...
As usual, Hysteria kicks out!
ReKon finds Hysteria weakened enough to lock his arms around his waist, ready to attempt a suplex, but an elbow to the head manages to stagger ReKon. Hysteria rushes to the turnbuckles to attempt a moonsault, but once he gets to the corner, ReKon recovers and chases after him, climbing the ropes behind Hysteria. ReKon locks his arms around Hysteria’s waist and attempts another move, this time hitting a release German suplex from the top rope! ReKon goes into a pin...
...1...2...3!
Lieutenant ReKon grins to himself, standing with raised arms after his victory. He climbs the top rope and salutes the crowd, getting a warm reception. However, things suddenly change as red pyro explodes from the entrance. ReKon, as brave as he has been, quickly falls back to the other side of the ring, keeping Hysteria's beaten body between himself and the ramp.
welcome to the NEW DARK AGES
yeah, i hope you're livin' right
these are the NEW DARK AGES
and the world might end tonight...
Bad Religion's "New Dark Ages" accompanies the pyro, and soon two figures emerge. Corey Ashton comes out first, then stops to make sure that Chris Carson is hobbling behind him. The Creep and Cor-Ash get mostly boos from the audience as they approach the ring. Ashton climbs the apron, then jumps over the ropes to lay a legdrop across Hysteria’s back. He starts to go to work on the defeated Hysteria, twisting his ankle into the Ashton Ankle Lock while Carson takes his time getting into the ring. Carson sneers down at ReKon, warning him from trying to help Hysteria.
The crowd is mixed by Carson and Ashton's attack on Hysteria. Carson finally starts to join in on the demolition, grabbing Hysteria and nailing him with a "C.C. Bomb". While Carson recovers from his move, Ashton summons for a microphone and calls after ReKon, who has taken off for the safety of backstage.
Corey Ashton: Hey, if you see Declan fuckin' Turner backstage, man, send a message to the Collective for us! Send it to all of them back there! Tell him that Ashton and DA CREEP are going to have all of their heads on a stake!
Ashton tosses the microphone to Carson, who is still wired at the jaw.
Chris Carson: If the Collective wants a turf war here in Sin, they got one! I fought damn hard to take this federation back from most of the bitches here. I ain't lettin' some other group get the drop on me and take down everything I had constructed. With Ashton by my side, the S.O.S. has been transformed, and the new "Sultans Of Sin" are ready to kick ass and mean business.
Carson drops his microphone as Ashton gives a few more kicks to Hysteria to push him out of the ring. The two then gather themselves and head to the back, ignoring the smattering of boos.
Winner: Lieutenant ReKon
We go inside of the ship... which has been darkened, only to see that several flat screen televisions located around the ship have fluttered on. On these screens the leader of the group, Declan Turner, is shown, being surrounded by his cohorts -- Andrew Keller, Jay James Keller, Stephen Marquardt and Madison Paige-Matthews. The film is a grainy black-and-white which flashes pictures of surgeries, human atrocities, and fire. He begins to speak.
Declan Turner: Tonight is a turning point for The Collective. We will not accept failure. We are the assassins of your way of life. All of your title reigns are at an end. For far too long our patrons have been inundated with the same boring talent trying to deliver the same boring lines as if no one will notice. We are going to put a stop to this immediately. Despite any verbal threat that our enemies will throw, the result will be their subsequent destruction in the middle of the ring. And then what shit will they have to talk? It will be especially hard when their jaws are wired FUCKING SHUT. Welcome to the new Sin Wrestling, faggots. Welcome to your end.
The lights flicker back on and the televisions immediately return to normal programming.
Sweaty and breathless, possibly fresh off a strict round of fucking, Chris Extreme and Mercedes step out from behind a door in the cabin area of the ship. Chris has his Nazi-designed World Title belt wrapped around his waist, illuminating his wet, cum-stained cock, which pokes against the white felt.
Chris Extreme: Oh God, that was good. You beat the negro out of my cock, but now it's time for a fight. It's time to confront that black man, that darkie... Dan Black. That little traitor. I bet he hangs out with black people, too.
Mercedes, who looks displeased, chimes in.
Mercedes: Even worse was that you were screaming his name during orgasm.
Chris Extreme: I had to focus.
Mercedes: You better not lose focus about your match that's later tonight, too. You're going against Declan Turner and you'll be defending your title.
Mercedes begins stroking Chris's title.
Chris Extreme: Stroke harder.
Mercedes: Fine.
Chris Extreme: Don't you worry. Once I kick the negro-shit out of Dan Black, I am going to curb-stomp Declan Turner into Jay's dirty crotch.
Mercedes: ...Are you fantasizing about her right now?
Mercedes glares angrily at Chris.
Chris Extreme: No! My God, no!
Mercedes strikes Chris with her pink purse.
Chris Extreme: I swear... I wasn't! Now let's get John Locke and get out of here.
Mercedes: Okay.
Re-opening the door, Mercedes calls for her kitten, John Locke. She bends over, picking him up and stuffs him into her purse, while Chris Extreme pokes her butt with his cock.
Chris Extreme: Let's go. My cock will point us in the proper direction.
Chris Extreme turns and walks off alongside Mercedes, with his cock leading the way. John Locke purrs as Mercedes pets him, allowing the screen to fade out.
"Simple Design" by Breaking Benjamin goes off and Dan Black comes out from the back and then runs into the ring. He climbs each turnbuckle, pointing to the audience and he goes to the center of the ring and stomps his right foot, which ignites pyro all around the ringside area.
The silent crowd gazes in awe as a giant, heart beating globe of Earth slowly descends from above. In horror, the people watch as the Earth begins to bleed. When the Earth finishes its descent and reaches the surface of the stage, Chris Extreme's voice is heard shouting from within Earth's core.
The Earth explodes into smithereens and "Sonne" by Rammstein blasts over the speakers. Bloody, flaming pieces of the planet fly in the air and land on the closest people in the crowd. From within the wreckage of Earth stands "Lord Nazi" Chris Extreme in his white boxers and white socks. Around his waist is the Nazi World Title -- the coal black belt with a gold swastika spinning in the middle and an American flag on each side. Standing on his left and holding his hand is Mercedes, his Nazi Queen, and on his right is Roscoe his half-German Shepherd, half Rottweiler dog.
To a roar of hateful boos, "Lord Nazi" swaggers arrogantly down to the ring along with his two companions. Seeing different people in the crowd, he taunts them with racial slurs and sacrilegious blasphemies, while Roscoe barks viciously at them. On numerous occasions, "Lord Nazi" points to his World Title, to his woman, to his dog, and to himself, gloating and power tripping. At ringside, he threatens more fans in the front row by spitting in their faces, swearing that he will kill each and every one of them.
Walking up the steel steps, he enters the ring, with Mercedes walking behind him. Going into the corner, he requests the microphone from the ring announcer and then stands behind Mercedes.
Chris Extreme: Dan Black, I swear you become blacker everytime I see your ugly face.
Dan leans against the turnbuckles, listening to Chris Extreme demean him.
Chris Extreme: You are nothing but a traitor... you... you are just a Mussolini!
Dan Black folds his arms and shakes his head, grinning at Chris's attempts to besmirch his name.
Chris Extreme: But don't worry. I'll get my revenge on you. When I'm finished defending my goddamn sexy World Title against that faggot lawyer, I'm coming for you. I'll kick you in the head, punch you in the mouth, piss on your face and fuck you up the ass, you little faggot. I swear, I'm going to beat you all over the place...
Chris pauses...
Chris Extreme: But for now, I'm going to let me girlfriend fight for me. Go get him, honey.
From behind, Chris pushes an innocent-looking Mercedes towards Dan Black, drops down and then rolls out of the ring, making sure he is well-protected. Out here, he admires his Nazi World Title and playfully rolls around with Roscoe the Dog, while the bell rings, signalling the beginning of the match.
The ref signals for the bell as the match kicks off, and Mercedes rushes Black and knees him right in the lower region. The referee is all over her, but she claims innocence as Black crumples to the mat, holding his crotch. Mercedes points to something to distract the referee and then starts kicking and stomping Black in the back and the head as he tries to roll away from her furious onslaught. Mercedes stops for a moment, smiles, and gives the "Zeig Heil" sign to the fans. The boos rain down on her like a thunderstorm.
Meanwhile, "The Bulldozer" is able to pull himself to his feet in the corner. Mercerdes notices him and rushes in, but Black meets her with a boot to the face, with the boos instantly turning to cheers.
Mercedes rushes in again, and Black makes the same move, but she is one step ahead of him. This time, she grabs his leg and kicks him, again, very close to the ball-sack. More boos and more admonishment from the referee, but Mercedes just pushes the striped-shirt to the side and lays the boots to Dan Black's face.
Inside the ring, Mercedes is all business as she drops a headbutt to Black's groin, picks him up off the mat by the hair, rakes his eyes with her claws, and then hits the ropes to connect with a nice front-handspring hurricanrana!
She pops up and smiles to the crowd as they shower her with hate. Chris Extreme yells at them for not being pure to the cause, or something unintelligible like that... but mostly for being mean to his girlfriend.
Back inside, Mercedes bitch slaps Dan Black, then bites him on the cheek until she draws blood. The referee begins to count Mercedes for a DQ...
...1...2...3...4...
She ignores the count, and then declides to claw her nails across his back. From here, she pokes him in the eye and follows up with a nice dropkick, making him hit the canvas. Mercedes goes for a cover...
...1...2...
Dan Black kicks out with ease!
Quick to her feet, the 5'2" former cheerleader grabs Dan and whips him to the ropes, but Dan ducks under a spin-wheel kick and Mercedes crashes to the mat.
Speeding ahead, Dan nails Mercedes with a flying shoulder block and she tumbles to the outside, right into Chris Extreme. He doesn't like it, Mercedes doesn't like it, and even Roscoe seems upset. They yell and scream at the referee to disqualify Dan Black, when Out of nowhere Dan catapults himself over the top rope!
Seeing the big man coming right at him, Chris dodges out of the way, letting his girlfriend collapse under Dan Black's weight!
Getting up, Dan Black smashes her face into the apron and throws her back into the ring. The fans cheer as he jumps in after her. Mercedes begs off and Dan looks to the fans. They want him to kick her ass. She in turn, tries to pop Dan in the nuts for a third time; but Dan is too fast amd grabs her arm. He shakes his head and the place erupts in cheers!
"The Bulldozer" picks her up with ease, looking for a nasty looking Death Valley Driver. The 6'3", 280 lb. behemoth roars for the fans, and especially at Chris Extreme, but Mercedes is able to squirm her way free. In return, Dan Black picks her back up again, only to use a big Samoan Drop to take care of that!
Standing above Mercedes, Dan Black laughs at her expense, watching as she struggles to rise. Unbeknownst to him, though, Mercedes is able to muster enough energy to reach up and perform a Testicular Claw!
Now it's her turn to laugh, as Dan winces in pain. But he quickly goozles her and hits a nice chokeslam, releasing himself from the lethal grip. The mat trembles with the impact as Dan goes for a cover...
...1...2...
Almost at three, Mercedes is able to get her shoulder up, with Dan looking surprised! Spitting in his hands, he rubs them together, meaning business.
Black picks up Mercedes and tosses her halfway across the ring with a belly-to-belly suplex. He methodically walks over to her and grabs her by the hair and puts her in a corner. He chops down on her big breasts very hard and the fans love it, while Chris Extreme cringes in terror.
In reply, Mercedes spits in Dan's face, angering him, resulting in Dan throwing a forearm at her. However, Mercedes ducks, spins around, and kicks him in the gut. Dan goes after her as she runs to the ropes. Dan is caught halfway, as Mercedes hits a nice handspring-elbow to his jaw!
Next, she cracks him across the skull with a high kick. "The Bulldozer" is dazed, but he rushes Mercedes and plows her into a corner. She slaps, punches and bites him; but he lifts her up and sits her right on the top turnbuckle.
Mercedes slaps Dan in the face. Dan slaps her back and she almost falls off the top rope. The fans cheer as Dan heads up to the top, with Chris Extreme livid as Dan poses for a moment, then hits a picture-perfect Superplex on Chris's Nazi girlfriend!
On his feet, Dan sneers at Chris Extreme and then makes the signal for the Hospitalizer, the huge sit-down powerbomb finisher he has used to end many matches in the past. The fans go crazy as Mercedes goes up and then comes crashing down, the Hospitalizer doing just that, knocking her into tomorrow. Dan knows it is over and goes to make a cover...
...
Suddenly, however, a commotion breaks out at ringside and Chris Extreme is the first to point it out to the ref.
John Locke, the cat, and Roscoe, the dog, are fighting! Cat and dog face off and the referee feels obligated to break it up. The fans scream at him, because unbeknownst to him Chris Extreme has slid into the ring, while Dan Black has Mercedes covered...!
Chris Extreme pulls a pair of brass knuckles from his boxers/asshole, pulls Dan up and decks him in the back of the head! Dan tumbles to the mat and Chris Extreme wastes no time in throwing Mercedes on top of him!
...1...2...3!
The fans boo with rage, as Mercedes is declared the victor. Nevertheless, Chris Extreme rolls back inside, grabs Mercedes and carries her out of the ring, while Dan Black remains fallen on the mat, barely conscious.
Retreating to the back, with Mercedes in his arms, Chris commands John Locke and Roscoe to follow him. He has much preparing to do for tonight's main event. In the meantime, Dan Black watches as the duo exits past the curtain, a look of fire and rage burning in his eyes.
Winner: Mercedes
The camera's view returns to the other side of the cruiseship, focusing in on Adora and Morgana, who are reclining on chairs, beneath the scorching sun. Both ladies are in their bikinis, with sunglasses laying over their eyes, enjoying their time in the sun.
Morgana: Mmmm, sweet, sweet vacation. It's nice to go a few weeks without having to do handflips, cartwheels, spring-flips, planchas, plancha-flips, flipping flips and apple flips.
Adora: It's even better when you stop for a few months!
Morgana: I am so jealous!
Adora: I'm just glad I don't have to deal with those freaks... such as Corey Ashton. My God, that guy is a freakin' pervert. He even mailed me a pair of panties the other day! Come to think of it, they may have been panties I threw out over a year ago. Ugh...
Disgusted, Adora looks around, looking for a drink, while Morgana applies sun-tan lotion.
Morgana: Worst of it all, he's seemed to have formed some bond with Chris Carson. Maybe they rub each other's cock or something; I don't know.
Adora seemingly ignores Morgy, still looking for her drink.
Adora: Hmmm...
Morgana: What's wrong?
Adora: I'm missing my glass of drink.
Morgana: Then go get another one?
Adora: Eh, looks like I have no other choice.
Adora rises, about to walk away, wanting to buy another drink.
Morgana: Get me one, too!
Adora: Yes, master.
Morgana: Tehehe.
Finally, Adora walks off, leaving Morgana behind to finish applying lotion. When she's done, she leans back in her chair, soaking up even more sun, relaxing all muscles.
Morgana: Ahhh... that's the stuff...
Feeling the burn, Morgana soon hears Adora returning, taking a seat next to her. With her eyes closed, Morgana speaks out.
Morgana: Did you bring me my glass?
She gets no response.
Morgana: ...Wifey?
...No response, again.
Morgana: Uh...
Perplexed, Morgy opens her eyes... only to view Corey Ashton sitting next to her, in Adora's chair, furiously masturbating into the bottle of sun-tan lotion.
Corey Ashton: Adora... unf, unf, unf... where is... unf... she?!
As he faps, a fan calls out from Morgy's right side, catching her attention.
Fan: Hey, Morgy! I love you! I want to cum on your tits?!
She turns her head, listening to the fan. She then turns her gaze back to Corey Ashton... but he's gone.
Morgana: What... the... hell...?
Seconds later, Adora returns with a drink in each hand. Taking her seat, she sits next to Morgy, handing a cup to the stunned and silenced Morgy.
Morgana: Did you see him?! Did you...?!
Adora: Huh? See who?
Morgana: Cor...
Before she can finish, Adora speaks up.
Adora: Ooooh... sun-tan lotion. I should apply some. I don't want to burn myself too badly.
Grabbing the bottle of lotion, she begins applying it all over her body, while a very puzzled Morgana looks on, unable to ascertain what she witnessed was fact or fiction.
Corey Page is in the back... well, somewhere inside of the cruiseship. In any event, he is no longer in his scuba-gear. Instead, he is now decked in shorts and a Hawaiian shirt, dressed like a complete, unadulterated party animal.
Corey Page: Whooo! Coke and whores for everyone!
Everyone, of course, being... no one. He's the only person around, except for various upper-class patrons that look at him in awe. Leonardo Dicaprio walks up to him and then shakes his hand.
Leonardo DiCaprio: Hi, I'm Jack.
Leonardo, who has gone into a psychosis, where he thinks he is his past on-screen characters, stands happily at Corey Page's side.
Leonardo DiCaprio: Did you mention "coke and whores"?
Corey Page: Uh...
Just then, Stevie Swing walks into the scene, allowing Corey to escape from this embarassing situation. Stevie, who has recently "come out" about really being a woman, wears a tight-fitting bikini, allowing her Jewish breasts to bounce heavenly about.
Stevie Swing: You!
Corey Page: Me! Wait, who are you?
Stevie Swing: I'm Stevie Swing.
Corey stares hard at Stevie, sizing her up.
Corey Page: You look different. Did you change your hair?
A contemplative Corey Page is cut-off by Leonardo DiCaprio, who reaches out and kisses Stevie Swing's right hand.
Leonardo DiCaprio: Hi, I'm Howard Hughes. Wanna fly on my plane?
He winks at Stevie.
Stevie Swing: Hi, I'm Jewish.
Leonardo DiCaprio: Ewww... you're filthy!
Leonardo quickly whips his hand away, locks himself into a plastic bubble and then jumps overboard, into the clean water, and away from the germs. Both Corey and Stevie look on, trying to figure out what just happened.
The first to break the silence is Stevie Swing.
Stevie Swing: Anywho, I'm here to figure out what's on my plate for tonight. Who do I have a match against?
Corey turns back toward Stevie, putting his face straight into her breasts.
Corey Page: Are you sure there's nothing different?
Stevie Swing: Uh, I'm up here. Woo-hoo.
Corey Page: Oh... right. My bad.
Corey clears his throat.
Corey Page: Tonight, you have the biggest, baddest enemy you have ever faced. You know him quite well.
Groaning, Stevie Swing shows non-compliance.
Stevie Swing: But I already beat Jean-Paul Lacklan last week, as usual. That gothic-fag had nothing on me.
Corey Page: No, not Lacklan. Let me correct you. You are facing...
Suspenseful silence...
Corey Page: Booger!
Stevie Swing: Booger?! Wait, wasn't I originally supposed to face some fag with a lip-ring?
Corey Page: Yes, but he went away. He said something about going back to his home planet, "Planet Fagmotron" or something gay like that.
Stevie Swing: I see.
Just then, a lip-ring shaped spaceship flies by, blasting off into space.
Stevie Swing: Well, I'll be damned.
Corey Page: Yup, so tonight, you have an epic-rematch against Booger. Remember, he was your first-ever Sin Wrestling opponent. You just know he'll be looking to eat you.
Stevie Swing: ...Are you talking dirty to me?
Corey Page: Maybe.
Corey pauses.
Corey Page: Wait, are you a man or a woman?
Stevie Swing: Woman, remember?
Corey Page: Oh. In that case, yes. Yes I am.
Stevie shrugs her shoulders.
Stevie Swing: I guess I have to go wrestle now.
Corey Page: DO IT! My God, do it.
Stevie Swing: Yes, sir!
With overconfidence, Stevie skips away, but not without one final warning from Corey Page.
Corey Page: Oh, by the way, I hear that Lacklan guy is still pretty pissed about losing to you. I'd watch out if I were you.
Stevie Swing: Meh. Lacklan can kiss my Jewish labia.
And with that, the scene...
Leonardo DiCaprio: Thy drugs are quick. Thus with a kiss I die.
Corey Page: Shut the fuck up.
...fades out.
A series of burps and farts play on the speaker system and Booger comes walking out, eating a taco, a ham sandwich and a slice of pizza. As he gets to the ringside area, he drops the food, attempts to roll inside, gets stuck, and decides to walk up the ring steps, having the boat sway back and forth as he walks.
Action Action’s “Don’t Cut Your Fabric” hits, and Stevie Swing slowly walks out to face the crowd, displaying his her newfound boobs, which the crowd greatly appreciates. After the realization that Stevie is really a woman, the fans hoot and holler, giving him her a standing ovation.
As Stevie walks to the ring, she is groped by several drunken fans, causing her to stop at certain points to slap them in the face. In the ring, Booger watches on, getting an erection, hoping to find redemption after his last loss.
Stevie rolls inside... and Booger wastes no time in attacking her, much to the dismay of the crowd. With a massive stomp to the back of her skull, Booger grabs her hair, plucks her to her feet and then rams her into the corner.
In here, Booger backs his gigantic asshole against her, not allowing her to exit. In fact, he even rubs his stinky armpit in her face, leaving a slimey, stinky pile of sweat across her brow. Stepping out, he measures Stevie up, hoping to crush her beneath his weight, and then charges back in...
...only to have Stevie Swing roll beneath his legs, and have his mammoth carcass rumble against the turnbuckle pads!
Jumping up to her feet, Stevie literally hulks up, pushes her bra up, and unloads with a series of fists to Booger's face, which she soon turns toward his gut. Obviously the attempts just bounce casually off a smiling, laughing, gleeful Booger, who places his grubby hands around Stevie's head and attempts to stuff her into his mouth.
With her head jammed into his mouth, ala a snake eating its prey, Stevie is tilted upside-down, with Booger trying to devour her. Unfortunately for his sake, Stevie wiggles and squirms, giving him some stiff knees to the head, face and jaw region. Thanks to these furious, lucky shots, Stevie is able to escape from Booger's grasps and land back on her feet.
Dumbfounded, Booger roars at Stevie, like a dinosaur, and then lunges straight at her... only to walk into "The Last Dance" superkick!
Booger plummets to the canvas, causing a tidal wave to hit Indonesia, and has Stevie jump onto his belly, counting him down. Seeing this, the referee makes the count...
...1...2...
Before the three is made, everyone's attention is diverted behind Stevie Swing, watching as Jean-Paul Lacklan rolls inside. As the referee's hand slaps the canvas for the second time, he leaps towards Stevie Swing and catches her with a brutal-knee to the back of her skull!
Upon viewing this, the referee jumps to his feet and calls for the bell, disqualifying Booger; giving Stevie the victory, but without gaining the pinfall. This fact remains apathetic for Lacklan, who picks Stevie up, beats her down with a series of forearms and then picks her up, delivering a stalling reverse-brainbuster!
Having given Stevie "The Final Rite", Jean-Paul Lacklan stands over his nemesis's fallen body, giving her the boots, to a roaring jeer. After sitting Stevie up into a kneeling position, Lacklan bounces off the ropes and returns with a Shining Wizard, smacking his knee directly across her face, bringing her back down!
In no time after that, Lacklan again lifts Stevie up, and hits a second "Last Rite" reverse-brainbuster!
Even with the mask on his face, venom is shown spewing from Lacklan, whose hatred for Stevie Swing nearly consumes him. Delivering one last kick to a fallen Stevie Swing, Lacklan hunches over and viciously rips all clothes off Stevie, leaving her laying on the canvas, like a beaten whore.
Spitting at her, he leaves her sprawled out on the canvas, unconscious, and prone to the preying eyes of the fans, who are dejected at Jean-Paul Lacklan's actions. Nevertheless, Lacklan exits to the floor and walks to the back, feeling he has gained a moral victory.
Winner: Stevie Swing (via DQ)
THWACK!
A tourist, dressed up all preppie with a sweater vest, a visor, and khaki pants, is busy teeing off from the side of the boat, admiring his swing as his golf ball disappears into the sea. He tees up a second shot.
Preppie: Man, this Big Bertha rocks. I can't wait to show the bigwigs next week when unearth this baby.
The preppie takes a slow deep backswing, only to stop halfway. Off-camera, a clapping can be heard, followed by an appearance by the one and only Corey Ashton!
Corey Ashton: Dude, that was one fricking sweet swing. You must have hit that thing further than Tiger Woods! Or at least that Michelle Wie broad.
Preppie: Well, I don't think I would say it went that...
Ashton is already examining the club up close, looking at the shaft.
Corey Ashton: Man, that thing just reeks of performance. Mind if I give this baby a swing?
Preppie: Well, I really don't want it to get ruined...
Corey Ashton: Don't worry about it. I'll treat it as if I was caressing Adora's luscious nipples. I swear, man.
Ashton urges the preppie to back up a little, a bit convincing. He sets down a golf ball and shakes his hips as the preppie looks on.
Preppie: Just...be careful with it! I spent more on that than I do on my wife!
Corey Ashton: Relaaax. I shot a birdie in golf before. Actually, it was a pigeon with a BB gun, but who's counting? I mean, if there's one thing Cor-Ash knows, it's how to stroke a club.
Ashton takes a hard swing and completely misses the ball, almost losing the club.
Corey Ashton: Whoops! Gotta choke the chicken harder, I guess.
Preppie: Take it easy with that thing!
Corey Ashton: I hear ya, I hear ya. Watch this!
Ashton winds up and...actually hits a pretty decent shot, the ball fading slightly to the left in a nice long hook. Probably the same distance as the preppie's shot.
Preppie: Hey, there you go. Nice shot.
Corey Ashton: What do you expect from an Ashton? Shots on the money every time.
Preppie: Mind if I get it back now?
Corey Ashton: Get it back? Well, you'd have to ask my partner...
Preppie: Partner?
The preppie gets absolutely demolished by a black crutch across his back, sending him over the side rail and into the water with a faint splash. Ashton just grins as he twirls his club. Chris Carson comes into camera view, holding the broken crutch before tossing it aside.
Chris Carson: Nice job, kid. Smooth talker. I like that.
Corey Ashton: Hey, I do what I can. These clubs going to be enough?
Carson manages to drag the golf bag that the preppie left over his shoulder, wincing a little.
Chris Carson: Just about. Now let’s go put a hole in one.
Corey Ashton: Whoa, you mean GET a hole in one, right?
Chris Carson: You know what I mean.
Carson and Ashton depart with the sound of splashing from down below.
As usual, we shift scenes; back to the interior section of the ocean liner. Declan Turner is shown talking to Andrew Keller, possibly giving him advice for his upcoming match.
Declan Turner: Don’t worry. We’ve got your back.
Andrew Keller: Nah, man. I’m not worried. But you should be worried about Corey Ashton.
Declan Turner: Why’s that?
Andrew Keller: Because I’m going to beat so much blood out of his faggot ass, some is bound to splash on your suit, even if you're standing backstage.
Declan chuckles as Stephen gives a smirk. Exchanging a handshake, Declan and Stephen follow Andrew to his match.
The guitar intro of "Drift and Die" by Puddle of Mudd strums methodically as the entrance is filled with smoke. Suddenly, the screen flashes the words...
The Twenty Five Thousand Dollar Brawler.
FOR ADORA.
Strung Out comes roaring over the sound system with “Ultimate Devotion.” This brings out Everybody’s Hero, Corey Ashton, through the curtains. A pair of black Muay Thai style shorts, black kneepads and matching black boots makes up his attire, basically looking like an Oreo cookie. Corey makes his way into the ring, underneath the bottom rope and stands up with a grin. His beloved public showers him with a mixed reaction, but mostly negative.
The bell rings and the two competitors step toward each other, but not before shouting some words of discouragement back-and-forth at each other. When the time is right, they both lock-up, with both men pushing and shoving each other, looking to gain the advantage.
It ends in a stalemate.
Instead, Andrew Keller removes himself from the lock-up; and decides to slap Corey across the face! Surprised, Ashton steps back, holds his cheek and fires back with a punch.
This does nothing but piss Andrew Keller off.
The two men turn toward each other... and they begin unloading on each other with fists, going shot-for-shot, the sound of knuckle-on-bone resonating throughout the entire boat. Looking for an opening, Andrew stops Corey's punches by kneeing him in the groin, giving him a shot that would stop any man.
Annoyed, Andrew starts viciously punching Corey Ashton, knocking him against the turnbuckle pads, where he then begins delivering some more knees to Corey's mid-section. Whipping Corey across the ring, Andrew speeds in, hoping to strike with a running-clothesline. However, before landing the blow, Corey Ashton side-steps the attack, resulting in Andrew smashing chest-first against the turnbuckles!
Wisely stepping behind Keller, Corey hooks onto both of his arms and sends him flying backwards with a bridging Dragon Suplex! The referee begins his count...
...1...2...
But Andrew rolls to the side, escaping from the pinfall!
Right back up, slightly dazed, Andrew knees Corey in the jaw, putting him in his place. Furthermore, Andrew delivers a short-arm clothesline, dropping Ashton onto the canvas, setting him up for some football-kicks to the lower back.
Following these kicks, Andrew lifts Corey up, forearms him in the kidneys and then pushes him front-first into the ropes. As he bounces back, Keller delivers another forearm to the kidneys, sending a shockwave of pain throughout Corey's spine. Seconds after hitting an Atomic-Drop, Andrew pushes Corey into the corner, where he commences hitting some standing repeated-clotheslines.
In due time, Andrew has Corey cornered, on his rear-end, and laying against the turnbuckles. From here, Andrew Keller begins blasting him with some repeated stomps, beating him down in the corner. Wanting to unleash more damage, Andrew then bounces off the opposite set of ropes and goes to return with a running-boot to the face of a downed Corey Ashton... which he delivers with extreme success!
Pulling Corey up to his feet like a ragdoll, Andrew pounds his opponent in the gut with some uppercuts, and then places him into a standing headscissors. As he goes to lift Corey up into a powerbomb position, Corey begins squirming and wiggling, trying to escape from this potential danger.
Using all of his might, Corey pushes Andrew into the corner, where he strikes with some shoulder-blocks to the gut, finally releasing himself from Keller's grasps. He goes to Irish-whip Andrew across the ring; but at the last second, the whip is reversed and Corey is sent crashing into the turnbuckle pads!
Like a raging bull, Andrew charges towards Corey Ashton, hoping to pancake him against the turnbuckle pads. Aware of this, Corey steps out... and release belly-to-belly suplexes Andrew, sending him tumbling upside-down in the corner, where he is left hanging in a Tree of Woe!
Eyeing Keller's situation, Corey is quick to go on the attack. Standing up, Corey nails Andrew, who is still upside-down, with a barrage of kicks, stomps and forearms. He even moves into the opposing corner and ignites himself across the ring, driving both feet into Andrew's ribcage with a running-dropkick, whilst he remains in the Tree-of-Woe!
Lifting Andrew halfway up, Corey proceeds to strike with a European uppercut to the back of Andrew's neck; and then fully sits him on the top turnbuckle. From here, Corey applies a reverse 3/4 facelock and drops down, hitting a neckbreaker off the ropes onto Andrew!
Opting to bypass a pinfall, Corey Ashton slides Andrew into the center of the ring, where he attempts to apply a rear-naked chokehold. As the move is about to be locked in, Andrew stirs, becoming aware of his situation. Right away, he uses his right arm to strike Corey with an elbow... and another... and another. Eventually, Corey becomes fed up with these elbow-shots, resulting in him grabbing onto Andrew's arm and then driving him to the ground with an armbar-DDT!
From here, Corey applies a cross-armbar submission, trying to make Andrew tapout. Unfortunately for him, Andrew is able to reach out and grab onto the bottom rope, breaking the submission attempt.
Once the referee steps in, forcing Corey to release the hold, Andrew rolls to the floor, where he clutches his arm, making sure it's still in working order. In the meantime, Corey pushes his way past the referee, steps out onto the apron and measures Andrew up. Jumping off the apron, Corey connects with a flying-axehandle, dropping Andrew onto the floor.
Out here, these two men continue to brawl, smacking each other's face off the ring apron multiple times. When Corey goes to bash Andrew's face off the ring post, Andrew puts his foot up, blocking the attempt. Alternatively, Andrew sends Corey face-first into the post, dizzying him.
All of this occurs with the referee counting them out...
...1...2...3...4...5...
Andrew charges at Corey, hoping to smash him against the post...
...6...7...
However, Corey spots his charge and decides to step out of the way. As a result, Andrew smashes against the ring post...
...8...
Andrew Keller stumbles back, holding his head. Looking to return the attack, a dizzy Corey Ashton whips Andrew around... only to receive The Mouthpiece!
...9...
Andrew becomes aware of the count, deciding to roll into the ring...
...10!
At the very last second, Andrew escapes the danger, beats the count and gets the countout victory! Corey Ashton remains on the floor, thrown for a loop, thanks to the disastrous punch from Andrew!
Inside the ring, the man who wants to be known as "25K" throws his arms up, relishing in his victory. His celebration is cut short, though; as "The Creep" Chris Carson runs down, slides into the ring and attacks him from behind!
"The Creep" begins pummeling a surprised Andrew with rights and lefts, knocking him into the corner, where Andrew is unable to protect him. Before anything too serious occurs, Jay runs down and then attacks "The Creep" from behind, stopping his assault on Andrew Keller!
Corey Ashton, who is just now returning to a conscious state, looks at the carnage inside of the ring. He gets in on the ruckus, as well. He slides inside, instantly attacking Jay.
When things get completely out of hand, the ring is soon crowded with a dozen of ring officials and crew members, who try to seperate the two teams. The cameras last fade out, showing Chris Carson and Corey Ashton in one corner; with Jay and Andrew Keller in the other corner.
Nevertheless, Andrew Keller has won this match; only by countout, thanks to the surprise use of his move, "The Mouthpiece".
Winner: Andrew Keller
A random crew member walks to the back of the cruiseship, minding his own business, complimenting various patrons. He stops suddenly upon realizing the shaking of the boat. Soon enough, he monitors water pour in over the side of the boat...
Crew Member: Sweet dying Jesus, we're taking on water!
In the middle of this flood is Booger, who is seated at the back of the boat, weighing the boat down. He is hunched over, having his elbows on his knees, and his face in his hands, crying out loud. His tears mix in with the pouring water, creating a tidal wave of emo.
Booger: I just wanted to win! I just wanted to beat Chris Extreme! I just wanted to beat Stevie Swing, whom I didn't know was a hot girl. I wish I had to eat her, instead. It would have been like eating a bagel. But now...
A family of three falls overboard, thanks to the raging waters pouring in. Booger doesn't mind, though.
Booger: But now, it's all gone! I had my chance! I just wanted to be somebody! I wanted to be cool!
Various crew members circle around a wailing Booger.
Crew Member: All right, men, get your shovels!
Oblivious to what's happening around him, Booger cries out some more.
Booger: Now I'm left alone... without a title... without a Chrissy, who is more in love with Mercedes than me... and I even lost to Stevie Swing... again! I lost to a male and female Stevie Swing! This is... this is... hey, what are you guys doing to me?!
Finally noticing that the crew members have placed their shovels beneath him, Booger looks around, realizing that he is being wedged off the ground.
Booger: Get out of that. Stop i--...
Booger is thrown overboard.
Booger: Glub, glub, glub.
Thanks to the effort of about 30 crew members, Booger has been shoveled over deck, thus saving the ship from utter disaster. In the meantime, a chocolate octopus, cousin of the chocolate walrus, swims into Booger's gaping mouth, leaving him satisfied and floating in the water.
Booger: It's a good thing my belly can float.
As the scene fades out, the image shows Booger swimming with fishies.
All My Life I been searching for something...
Something never comes, never leads to nothing...
Nothing satisfies, but I'm gettin close...
Closer to the prize at the end of the rope
The words MADE FOR TV appear on the screen as the lights in the arena slowly began to dim and "All My Life" by the Foo Fighters progresses on. An array of baby blue lasers shoot into various directions, moving about, in time with the rhythm of the music.
As the song drops in, explosions go off, as Sebastian York makes his way to the top of the ramp, rocking out to the music. He hops up and down atop the ramp before bursting into a full sprint towards the ring.
Sliding into the ring, he pops up onto his feet and lifts both of his hands into the air, drawing a huge pop from the crowd as pyro shoots into the air from the each corner. As the pyro display dies down, Sebastian nods to the referee and waits for his match to begin.
Beethoven's "The Moonlight Sonata," as performed by the indy rock group Inverse plays, but there is no fanfare. No dimming of the houselights, no purple spotlight. No Minions. Lacklan walks down to the ring, alone, his cowl pulled low over his masked face. As he enters the ring, he simply slumps against his corner, waiting for the match to begin. After the bell sounds, Lacklan does not immediately attack; he starts slowly, taking the cowl away from his face to show his opponent the mask and horridly burned head that awaits them.
Unstrapping his Impulse Title, York hands it over to the referee, who holds it in the air, displaying it to be defended tonight. Right away, York, the fan-favorite, walks up to Lacklan, who does not back down.
The two men lock-up, with Lacklan's strength coming into play, allowing him to gain the early upperhand. Knuckling his fist into Sebastian's head, Lacklan tries instantly wearing his opponent down, placing all of his weight on him, but soon has Sebastian slipping out, and pushing Lacklan aside.
York, ever the wise one, immediately dropkicks Lacklan in the knee, hoping to negate his ability to stand. Rising back up, Sebastian stands and delivers a second dropkick-to-the-knee, only to snap up and then bounce off the ropes, looking for a crossbody-block. However, as he sails through the air, Lacklan is able to catch him.
With vigor, Lacklan swings Sebastian York out, slamming him to the mat with a swinging sidewalk-slam!
Maintaining his offense, Lacklan gets back up and yanks York up to his feet. Delivering some forearms to Sebastian's back, Lacklan then starts striking with some elbows to the back of the champ's neck, finishing those off with a harsh chop to the chest. Whipping York across the ring, Lacklan extends his arm, looking for a stiff standing-lariat. Bounding back, Sebastian is aware of this, giving him the chance to duck beneath the attack and proceed into the next set of ropes.
Storming back, with a fire in his eyes, York delivers another baseball-slide dropkick to Lacklan's right knee, sweeping his leg out from beneath him. Brought down to one knee, Lacklan can only kneel there, helpless, as York begins throttling him with chops, elbows and kneelifts. Taking a page out of Lacklan's own playbook, Sebastian York bounces off the ropes and returns with a Shining Wizard to the masked-face of Lacklan!
The champ immediately goes for the cover...
...1...
Before a two can even be made, Lacklan powers his way out, tossing Sebastian York off him.
Enraged, Lacklan elevates to a standing base, along with Sebastian York, who gives Lacklan another kick to the knee. Ducking in, York hooks onto Lacklan's right leg, lifts it off the canvas and starts wailing away on it with some punches and elbows; even delivering a European Uppercut!
All of this is no-good, though, as Lacklan is able to gain enough strength in his other leg, striking Sebastian York with an enziguiri!
Dropping Lacklan's right leg, York plops face-first onto the canvas, feeling the brunt of the blow. Right away, Jean-Paul Lacklan covers York, even hooking a leg...
...1...2...
The Impulse Champ shows his preserverence, though; as he kicks out at the count of two!
Of course, Lacklan doesn't stop here. After the failed pinfall attempt, he lifts York up, strikes with some rapid-fire chops, knocks Sebastian against the ropes and then hurries towards him - hobbling a bit - only to clothesline York over the top rope and to the floor. Following the champ out, Lacklan lifts Sebastian to his feet and slams his face off the ring steps, creating a resounding thud.
Seconds later, Lacklan whips York towards the announcer's booth, sending York flying up-and-over the table, and collapsing to the floor like dead-weight. Hovering around York, Lacklan stomps on the champ's chest and then places his foot across York's throat. Before the referee can even get a chance to count them out, Lacklan scoops York up and then rolls him back into the ring.
Watching Lacklan roll in the ring, lurking after him like a vulture, Sebastian uses a last-ditch effort, as he headbutts Lacklan in the gut. Furthermore, he delivers a European uppercut and then standing headscissors Lacklan. A second later, Sebastian has his hands tucked around Lacklan's pants, and he is lifting him into the air, dropping him down with a spike-piledriver!
Rolling Jean-Paul over, Sebastian makes a cover...
...1...2...
Showing force, Lacklan kicks out, continuing the match.
Sebastian York slaps his hands off the mat and then slowly stands to his feet. As Lacklan goes to stand, York reaches in at his right leg, trying to relinquish more punishment on it. However, as he ducks in, York walks right into an uppercut from Lacklan, followed by a roaring-forearm!
Knocked on the ground, Sebastian York pops back up, only to have Lacklan apply a reverse-facelock. The fans in the arena hold their breath as Lacklan lifts York up, holding him there for a few seconds; with damage to his leg not hindering his attempt. Slowly dropping down, Lacklan finishes off his "Last Rites" reverse-brainbuster, stuffing the champ on his head!
He rolls atop York... and the referee counts...
...1...2...3!
Victorious, a masked Jean-Paul Lacklan gets to his feet and has his hand raised by the referee. Looking to his side, Lacklan watches as the referee hands the Impulse Title off to him, officially becoming the new champion.
He stands over Sebastian York, who can only stare into the clouds, trying to comperehend what just happened. As if reading York his "last rights", Lacklan finally decides to walk off, dragging his newfound Impulse Title with him.
Winner: Jean-Paul Lacklan
The scene opens backstage with Jay sitting on a couch in her decent dressing room. She is clad in her wrestling attire with a cute pink sticker on the side of her face. She flicks her long black hair over her shoulder as her husband Andrew Keller walks through the door. He stops at the door and gives her a lengthy contemplative gaze. He sighs, already aware of the endless bitching that awaits him. Jay stands up and confronts Andrew as he closes the door behind himself.
Jay James Keller: I don't understand Andrew, why can't I have that puppy?
Andrew Keller: I'm not going to argue about this anymore Jessica. Just leave it alone.
Jay James Keller: But Andy I really want it! He's so cute and handsome and loveable! I'll be miserable without him!
Andrew gives a weary sigh and rakes his hands through his hair.
Andrew Keller: Please Jessica, not tonight. I think I might choke you out.
Jay James Keller: Okay, okay, okay...Whatever. I don't care. I'll just be miserable then.
Jay pouts her pink lips. Andrew simply shrugs his shoulders.
Andrew Keller: Good, be miserable. In the meantime, we really have to concentrate on your match.
Jay's demeanor changes.
Jay James Keller: Oh.. About that...
She lowers her voice and Andrew walks a bit closer to hear her.
Andrew Keller: What? What is it?
Jay James Keller: I don't want you to interfere in my match tonight.
Andrew Keller: You really think I'm going to let Carson-
Jay James Keller: That's just it Andy. You don't believe in me. You don't think I can win this week by myself do you?
Andrew Keller: Aw fuck. I know you can beat Carson. A fucking monkey can beat Carson. It's just that I'm your husband now. How would it look if I let you face him alone?
Jay James Keller: Since when do you care about what people think about you?
Andrew Keller: True. But still, The Collective has a reputation to uphold. You fuck with one of us and you suffer the repercussions. It's simple and effective.
Jay James Keller: Just let me do this on my own this one time Andy. I won't let you down babe, I promise.
Jay gives her husband a wry grin. Andrew gives Jay a careful look before nodding his head.
Andrew Keller: One night only.
Jay James Keller: I promise I'll make you proud.
Jay wraps her slender arms around the back of her husband's neck and hugs him dearly. Andrew hugs Jay back but the expression on his face is serious, as if he is having second thoughts about her request. The scene fades to black.
The scene goes to the back of the cruiseship. Most importantly, the camera opens to the outside of Jean-Paul Lacklan's dressing room. Inside, it's expected Lacklan is celebrating -- not only did he win the Impulse Title tonight, but he also laid out and embarassed his longtime rival, Stevie Swing.
Once the door to his room is opened, though, quite a different scene is shown.
Lacklan is lying face-down on the floor, having his Impulse Title strewn out before him. As the camera zooms closer, they focus on his back, which has blood traced all across it, spelling out a series of words.
With that, the camera fades out, an eerie silence filling the air.
The lights dim and "Swamped" by Lacuna Coil begins to play. Jay walks out wearing a black leather, single-sleeved halter-top with matching hip hugger pants, black winged tipped boots, and black fingerless arm-bands. She walks down the ramp, pulling out a silver golf club, which she swings with vigor, mocking her attack she made on Chris Carson from a few weeks ago. Rolling inside, she climbs to her feet, waiting for "The Creep"'s arrival.
The lights dim into a bloody red glow, then throb to life with a guitar riff like an alarm. Pyro fires off in red flares. As the song evolves into a rhythmic drumbeat and bass line, a haunted version of Queens of the Stone Age’s "Sick, Sick, Sick", Chris Carson comes out with a purpose, his jaw wired shut... and a bag of golf clubs hanging at his side! When he reaches the ringside area, he takes the bag and throws it in over the top rope. He immediately slides inside, picks up a club and goes on the attack!
However, Jay also moves in for the kill...
...only to have "The Creep" duck underneath the swinging blow of her golf club! In retaliation, he swings his own golf club into her stomach, doubling her over, and then whacking the club off her back, dropping her down!
The fans are split evenly, as "The Creep" unloads with a series of brisk chopping blows across Jay's back, using the club to his advantage. Having bent his club in half, Chris Carson tosses his current glub into the audience and picks up a second one.
He goes to smash this club against the back of Jay's head, but as he swings, Jay rolls out of the way, allowing the club to bounce off the canvas. Looking for an opening, Jay grabs her own club and uses it to jab into Chris Carson's groin, doubling him over!
Using this moment to rise, Jay swings the club at a kneeling Carson's head. Before the steel club connects, "The Creep" ducks out of the way, much like Jay did previously. Jumping up, he uses one of his own clubs to assist him in delivering a neckbreaker, dropping her onto her back!
Rising up, stumbling to his feet, showing the wear and tear of his previous match against Morgana, "The Creep" huddles around Jay, who holds onto her neck, trying to keep her focus. Like a predator, "The Creep" goes back on the attack, as he kicks and stomps at Jay, only to lift her up a few seconds later. Delivering an influx of chops, "The Creep" backs her into the corner, where he unloads with another furry of swift punches to her skull.
Trapping her against the turnbuckles, Chris Carson grabs her by the neck, turns her around and commences bashing her face against the top turnbuckle pad. He even stands onto the middle turnbuckle, where he delivers a bunch of forearms to the back of her neck, bashing her face off the turnbuckles.
However, as the forearms slow down, she soon finds an opening, allowing her to slip out beneath "The Creep"'s legs, giving her the chance to pick up a golf club and then whack him across the right thigh with it! Charlie Horsed, Chris Carson has nowhere to go, as he remains on the middle rope, while Jay charges at him and delivers a dropkick to his rear-end. As a result, "The Creep" gets launched over the top rope, where he plummets all the way to the floor, feeling the afterburn of the long drop!
Jay doesn't lay off, either. She doesn't lean back, allowing for "The Creep" to recover. Alternatively, she clutches her golf club and watches as her opponent stands to his feet, on the floor. When the time is perfect, she steamrolls ahead, opting to dive between the top and middle rope with a suicide dive, using her golf club to aide her.
Smashing against "The Creep" like a rocket, further adding to the pain with the club, Jay rises to her feet while on the floor, and looks around at the audience, who gives her a mixed response.
Seconds later, she uses her club to choke Chris Carson, who waves his arms, looking for safety, only to view the steel ring post as his only hope. Arching forward, he runs at the post, stepping to the side at the last possible second, thus ramming Jay against the steel, knocking her away from his neck, sending her dropping to the floor as if she were a sack of bricks.
On his feet, "The Creep" alternates between holding his jaw, thigh and back, feeling the strain of being an upper-tier Sin Wrestling star. Wobbling over to Jay, he yanks on her hair and forces her up to her feet, where he then slaps her across the cheek. Throwing her against the ring apron, he delivers a stiff punch to her jaw, inflicting some of the damage that had been done onto him.
After smacking her face off the ring apron, "The Creep" rolls Jay into the ring, climbs up onto the apron and goes to climb back inside. Before he can climb over the middle rope, though, Jay springs forward and delivers a dropkick to the middle rope, crotching him!
Delivering a European-uppercut to Chris Carson, Jay forces him onto the outer-portion of the apron, having him hanging by a thread, almost knocking him onto the floor. Standing back, looking inside of "The Creep"'s very own golf bag, Jay pulls out a putter, clinching it tightly. Charging ahead, she swings the putter at "The Creep"'s face, but misses, as he jumps off the apron, landing on his own two feet.
Thinking quickly, Chris grabs Jay's ankles, trips her up and then pulls her to the floor, putter and all. Chris batters Jay with a forearm to the jaw, couples that with yanking the putter out of her hands and then delivers a jab to the face with the edge of it.
Wasting no time, he rolls her inside, and then grabs two steel chairs and carelessly flings them into the ring. Sliding inside, he walks over to his golfing bag, looks inside and pulls out another club, along with a ball.
Turning around, he notices Jay slowly stirring, resulting in him throwing the ball into her stomach, following that up with a kick-to-the-face! Knocking her onto her back, he places the ball around her vaginal area, stands over her and then violently swings his club, sending it vaulting into the audience, where it bonks off a random fan's head and then into the Atlantic Ocean.
"The Creep" holds the club over his head, about to bash it into Jay's face, but is halted when Jay uses her feet to boot him in the testicles!
Dropping the club -- into Jay's own hands, no less -- Chris Carson collapses to his knees, giving her the chance to get to a standing base. Shrugging off the pain, Jay swings the club, smashing it into Chris Carson's back, knocking him face-first onto the canvas! Stepping back, she grabs the two chairs he has thrown into the ring and sets them up.
Focusing her attention back onto "The Creep", she watches with glee, as he holds his lower-back. Showing no mercy, she holds the putter in the air and then whacks it across his back again, listening with pleasure to the loud shriek he emits. Grabbing his head, she forces him up to a kneeling position and then lays his head across one of the steel chairs.
A devilish grin forms across Jay's face, as she again hoists the putter into the air. With gusto, she brings the club down across "The Creep"'s skull, smashing his face between the putter and the chair!
Allowing "The Creep" to float back, with his eyes rolling back in his head, Jay takes advantage and goes for a cover...
...1...2...
Once the count of two is made, though, Chris Carson kicks out, much to the surprise of everyone, including Jay!
Agitated, Jay rises to her feet, taking some time to stomp and kick Chris Carson, whom she soon wants to put away. Grabbing his right leg -- the same one she struck earlier with a golf club -- she takes it and wraps it around one of the chairs, hoping to cripple him. Taking the other chair, she sets it across his face and then bounces off the ropes, where she delivers a double-stomp to the chair, pancaking his head between the canvas and the chair!
Right away, she turns around and goes for another cover...
...1...2...
Yet again, Chris Carson fights off another pinfall; this time by popping his right shoulder up!
Just like before, an annoyed Jay stands to her feet, seriously disliking the lack of a pinfall. Grabbing onto his hair, Jay forces "The Creep" up to his feet, where she proceeds to muay-thai kick his right thigh, thus bringing him down to one knee. Bouncing off the nearest set of ropes, she seemingly goes for a Shining Wizard, only to have Carson grab onto a nearby chair and then tosses it directly into her face!
Standing up, Carson stumbles towards Jay, still feeling the pain surge through his right thigh. Lifting Jay up her hair, he elbows across the back of her head/neck and then body slams her across the open chair, leaving her dangling upside-down!
Using the other open chair, he propels himself into the air and goes to drop his knee across her. At the last second, Jay rolls off the chair, resulting in Chris's right knee jamming into the chair!
Both Jay and Chris are reeling, feeling the damage and pain surge through their body. Wobbling around, Chris tries to fix his knee, giving him the chance to turn around and stalk Jay from across the ring.
Mrs. Andrew Keller seems a bit dazed and looks around for her opponent. Just as she spots Carson, "The Creep" charges right at her and almost rips her head off with a stiff-clothesline! In doing so, Jay flips in mid-air and hits the mat with a sick thud, swinging things in his favor.
He goes for the cover...
...
Before the one can even be counted, Jay kicks out!
Standing up, Carson grabs Jay's right leg and effortlessly drags her body close to the turnbuckle. Stepping to the outer portion of the apron, she slowly, but surely rises to the top turnbuckle -- a place that he isn't too familiar with.
Suddenly, an ill-fate befalls him.
Out of nowhere, Andrew Keller, along with Stephen Marquardt, runs down from the back, with Andrew climbing onto the ring apron. Marquardt grabs the referee's attention by grabbing his collar and cornering him, while Andrew heaves "The Creep" off the top rope, sending him crashing all the way to the floor!
Carson hits the outside hard and Andrew goes to the side to finish the job. He forces Chris to his knees and brutally punches the former Television Champ in the face, delivering The Mouthpiece straight to Carson's jaw! Carson grunts in pain as Andrew tosses "The Creep" back inside of the ring, while Stephen Marquardt stops taunting the ref and runs around the ring to join Andrew Keller.
Andrew tries to cheer on his wife, but the crowd is split in half. Some cheer and some jeer, as Mrs. Keller slowly stumbles towards Chris Carson. She hunches over, about to cover him... only to have "The Creep" reach up and inside-cradle her!
...1...2...
Amazingly, Jay kicks out, just in the nick of time, almost giving Andrew Keller a heart-attack!
In the meantime, various officials and security pour to the ringside area and force Andrew and Stephen to the back, while the two competitors rise to their feet, at approximately the same time.
With his jaw hanging loosely, Chris Carson leaves himself prone to an attack from Jay, who delivers a swift-kick to his stomach. Applying a front-facelock, Jay uses the two chairs, which are side-by-side and opened up, to push herself into the air. Twirling around, she hopes to deliver a Tornado-DDT, not ready for "The Creep" to completely spin around and place her standing on the chairs.
Freeing himself from her clutches, he strikes with a powerful punch to her face and climbs onto the chairs with her. Up here, he holds her up into a vertical-suplex position, only to drop her down, delivering "The CC Bomb" through the two chairs!
Laying across Jay, he hooks her leg, while his jaw continues to hang...
The referee counts...
...1...2...3!
Amongst the wreckage of the two chairs, Chris Carson rises to his feet and is about to have his hand raised by the referee. Not allowing the referee to touch him, "The Creep" whisks his arm away and walks to the back, holding his jaw, which has probably been shattered.
After a few minutes, Jay begins to stir, knowing that this feud is not yet over. Pushing the two chairs away, she stands to her feet, bruised and broken, but she still has a lot more left to go. As she walks to the back, she is comforted by Andrew Keller, who walks out from behind the curtain, making sure she is okay.
Winner: Chris Carson
The arena goes dark as the words blaze across the viewscreen.
"I Get It" by Chevelle explodes over the arena sound system as a huge pyrotechnic display goes off on the center stage. Declan Turner walks out from the back, wearing his wrestling gear and long black leather coat. Ignoring the crowd, he leaps into the ring and sheds the coat, waiting for the bell to ring.
The silent crowd gazes in awe as a giant, heart beating globe of Earth slowly descends from above. In horror, the people watch as the Earth begins to bleed. When the Earth finishes its descent and reaches the surface of the stage, Chris Extreme's voice is heard shouting from within Earth's core.
The Earth explodes into smithereens and "Sonne" by Rammstein blasts over the speakers. Bloody, flaming pieces of the planet fly in the air and land on the closest people in the crowd. From within the wreckage of Earth stands "Lord Nazi" Chris Extreme in his white boxers and white socks. Around his waist is the Nazi World Title -- the coal black belt with a gold swastika spinning in the middle and an American flag on each side. Standing on his left and holding his hand is Mercedes his Nazi Queen and on his right is Roscoe his half German Shepherd, half Rottweiler dog.
To a roar of hateful boos, "Lord Nazi" swaggers arrogantly down to the ring along with his two companions. Seeing different people in the crowd, he taunts them with racial slurs and sacrilegious blasphemies, while Roscoe barks viciously at them. On numerous occasions, "Lord Nazi" points to his World Title, to his woman, to his dog, and to himself, gloating and power tripping. At ringside, he threatens more fans in the front row by spitting in their faces, swearing that he will kill each and every one of them.
Walking up the steel steps, he takes off his World Title and hoists it up with one arm. To his pleasure, more boos flood his ears. Giving his World Title to Mercedes, she slings it over her shoulder and walks around the ring with Roscoe to spectate and cheat. "Lord Nazi" enters the ring finally, and is ready to fight.
This long-awaited match/rematch begins with the ringing of the bell, with both opponents circling each other, looking for an opening. The first person to make their move is the World Champ, Chris Extreme, who moves in towards Declan, looking to take him down with a double-leg takedown. However, Declan quickly latches onto Chris and applies a front-facelock, keeping his balance.
Much to Chris's chagrin, Declan fires back with some kneelifts to the face of the current champ, resulting in Extreme releasing his grasp and stumbling back. Seeing a proper opening, Declan walks up behind the champ and applies a reverse-waistlock, looking to German suplex Chris, who perks right up, deciding to elbow Declan across the bridge of his nose.
Released from Declan's dangerous clutches, Chris turns around, not listening to the boos that pour in on him. Offering a kick to Declan's gut, Chris applies a side-headlock, looking to outwrestle his opponent, which may not be a very smart idea for Chris, who is well-versed in the fine art of brawling... but not so much in grappling.
Case in point, Declan backs Chris against the ropes, forearms him in the kidneys and then throws him out, pushing him off. Bouncing off the ropes, Chris comes storming back... only to run right into a leaping-knee to the face, dropping him on the ground!
Not amused, Chris Extreme angrily rolls to the floor, where he slaps his hand off the apron, frustrated with Declan and the jeers he receives from the fans. He walks over to Mercedes, who offers him some support, as she pats him on the head, as if he were a wounded-puppy.
Climbing onto the apron, Chris goes to re-enter the ring, only to be acquainted with Declan, who looks to gain another upper-hand. Displaying his wiley antics, Chris side-steps a punch from his opponent, granting him the chance to grab Declan's head and then stun him across the top rope, choking him and then snapping his head back.
Like a hungry fucking wolf, Chris Extreme steps inside, seeing Declan leaning on his side, coughing for air. On the attack, Chris begins to brutalize Declan with a series of stomps and kicks; even unloading some repeated-knees to the face, ala the knees he used in defeating Tony Millennia a few weeks back.
Applying a double-underarm butterfly submission, Chris lifts Declan to his feet and strikes with even more knees, possibly breaking Declan's nose! When the time is right, Chris flips Declan with a butterfly-suplex, allowing him to roll through with the guillotine-submission, making him strike with even more knees!
Declan, who fights to his feet, pushes Chris against the ropes, despite the blood flowing from his nose. Upon seeing this, the referee steps in between the two men, separating them. However, with the referee's back turned, Chris gives Declan a cheapshot, which consists of him holding onto Declan's nose with his middle-and-pointer finger and then viciously striking down with his other hand.
Faltering back, Declan hunches over and holds his nose, not realizing that Chris Extreme is hurriedly storming up behind him. Grabbing Declan's head, Chris unloads with some boots to the face/nose, clapping with glee upon seeing blood droplets spill from Turner's nose to the canvas.
Once more, Declan stumbles back, trying to keep his distance from Extreme. However, that's cut short when Chris walks up behind him, double-axehandles him in the neck, turns him around and then delivers a vicious uppercut, which sends a splatter of blood into the front row!
Thanks to a few more punches, Chris has Declan trapped against the turnbuckle pads. In here, Chris sends some elbows to Declan's face, then decides to whip him across the ring. However, at the halfway point of the Irish-whip, Declan turns things around and sends Chris spiraling into the opposite corner, his back smashing off the turnbuckles with reckless abandon! Bouncing out, Chris walks right into a backdrop-attempt from Declan...
...but Chris kicks Declan in the face, hoping to stop Declan's momentum. He goes for a stiff punch with his right hand, but has it blocked by Declan's own right arm. Instead, Chris tries for a punch with his left hand, but Declan blocks this with his left arm. With both of Chris's arms trapped, Declan unloads with repeated-headbutts, getting some of his own blood on Chris, and then flings him overhead with a release arm-trap belly-to-belly suplex!
Absolutely stunned, Chris Extreme bounds to his feet, only to delve deeper in shock, as Declan runs at him, delivering a spear! He covers Chris, looking for a pinfall...
The ref counts...
...1...2...
At the count of two, Chris Extreme easily kicks out, continuing the match!
Both men rise at approximately the same moment, with them both throwing various punches at each other's head/face.
First, Chris strikes...
Then Declan hits a punch...
Chris punches Declan...
Declan bounces off the ropes and returns with a forearm to Chris Extreme's jaw...
Now, Chris bounces off the ropes and returns with an attempted fist to Declan's skull. Aware of this, Declan ducks down, strikes Chris Extreme with a spinning back-kick and then waistlocks the World Champ. In due time, Declan hoists Chris up and brings him back down with a German suplex...
Followed by another...
...and another...
...and another...
...and another...
...and another...
...and another...!
...and another...!!
Finally, with the fans going insane, Declan release German-suplexes Chris, flipping him through the air, forcing him to land on his head/shoulders!
Quickly, Declan rolls onto Chris, looking for a pin...
...1...2...
Just as the referee goes to strike his hand off the mat for the third time, Chris places his left foot on the bottom rope, stopping the count!
Shocked, horrified and in awe, Declan rises to his feet, trying to accept the fact that the match must continue. Bending over, he grabs both of Chris's ears and force him up to a kneeling-position...
Bewildered, Chris uses the only idea he can muster up. Out of pure desperation, Chris Extreme lowblows Declan, stifling not only the contender, but also the fans that had been expecting Chris's days as champ were coming to an end.
Using the top rope to stand, a dumbfounded Chris Extreme staggers haplessly around the ring, swinging fists at nothing but air. Once his senses are regained, he steadies himself and watches as Declan stands up. Charging forward, Chris leaps into the air and connects with two-knees to the back of Declan, sending him tumbling through the ropes and to the floor, where Declan's bloody nose continues to drip.
Following Declan to the floor, a worn-down Chris Extreme races after the contender, who tries rising to his feet, trying to put the fight back at the champion. On the other hand, Chris Extreme has other plans, as he creeps up behind Declan, lifting him to his feet and then delivers a bionic-elbow to the bridge of the nose. Grabbing Declan's arm, Chris proceeds to push a pile of rowdy fans out of the way, and then throws Declan into the audience, sending chairs flying everywhere!
The referee, who leans back, letting the two men fight things out, opts not to count either man out; and also refuses to call a disqualification. The victor will either have to pin his opponent or make him submit, according to the laws of this referee, who watches as Chris throws random chairs onto Declan.
Actually, upon closer inspection it appears as if Chris is just wrestling with random chairs, resulting in them being thrown at Declan. For example, he picks up one chair, which seems to attack him. Thinking quickly, Chris drops back, delivering a suplex to the chair, conveniently landing square across Declan's head.
When all is said and done, Chris stands back to his feet, about to continue stomping his challenger, only to be taken aback once Declan gets to his feet and storms at Chris, pushing him up against the side of the boat! At this location, both men exchange left and right punches, with Declan soon getting the upperhand via bashing Chris's skull off the railing of the boat, forcing him to overlook the edge, looking at the cold, blue Atlantic waters.
Chris tries to fight back, though. Using his right elbow, he smacks Declan across the jaw, hoping to regain the upperhand. Unfortunately for him, though, Declan once again blocks these attempted-shots, disabling Chris's offense by grabbing onto his wrist and them slamming his arm down across the steel railing.
That's not all from Declan, too. Turning Chris around, he holds him up into a vertical-suplex position, but decides to sling him forward, dropping him stomach-first across the railing of the boat! Fortunately for Chris, his two feet land on the edge of the boat, allowing him to keep his footing, halting him from dropping into the numbing waters.
Wanting Chris to plummet into the ocean, Declan moves in for the kill, striking the World Champion with some serious forearms to the face -- but Chris is still able to maintain a solid, standing base. Moving from an arm/fist-based offense, Declan shifts focus to his feet, as he steps back, only to wind himself at Chris, striking him with a twisting big-kick to the face!
Thanks to this devestating blow to the jaw, Chris dangles dangerously off the side of the boat, his own two hands holding onto the railing for dear life. Feeling as if he's one-step closer to victory, Declan moves in and grabs onto Chris Extreme's right hand, trying to pry his fingers off the railing. What he doesn't realize is that this enables Chris to pull himself up to a proper standing position and then allows him to pop Declan in the temple with a simple, but effective, punch.
Having Declan reeling back, Chris delivers a few more punches, each one striking exactly where it hurts. Grabbing onto Declan's head, Chris bashes his skull off the railing and then, as his head snaps back, Chris spits in Declan's face.
Using the time that Declan uses to wash the spit out of his face, Chris climbs onto the railing and leaps off, tackling Declan to the ground, where he firmly delivers a set of stiff-punches to the nose! With each blow, blood forms on Chris's knuckle, casting a sick, evil smirk across his face.
Soon enough, Chris has Declan pulled back to his feet and is dragging him across the boat, bringing him all the way near the front, which is where Morgana and Adora are peacefully seated. In blissful ignorance, Morgy and Adora lean back, enjoying the sullen air.
Morgana: Ah... finally, some peace and quiet.
Adora: Mmmhmm... I know.
Not even two seconds after those words are spoken, Declan Turner is heaved over both women, with Chris Extreme chasing behind. He even manages to push both Wifeys over, knocking them down, and throwing their sunbathing chairs out of the way.
Chris Extreme: Out of the way! Out of the fucking way, whores!
Enraged, Morgana speaks up.
Morgana: What the fuck?! I told you!
Adora: Jesus.
Morgana: I can't even go one week without being bothered by these people!
Chris slams Declan's bloody-nose into the side of the boat. Turning around, he steals Morgana's glass out of her hand.
Chris Extreme: Give me that fucking thing.
Morgana: Hey! Give me back my lemon-juice!
Chris Extreme: Here's come lemon-juice for your cut!
Not listening to Morgana's cries, Chris blasts the glass at Declan's head, sending glass splinters, blood and lemon-juice everywhere!
Morgana: My goddamn drink!
Chris lifts Declan up and throws him back into the main section of the ship. Before joining him, Chris turns to both ladies, pulls down his white boxers and shows Morgy and Adora his cock.
Chris Extreme: I swear to God, if you two whores don't shut up, I'll smack this across your face.
Shoving his cock back inside, Chris returns to beating down Declan, leaving the Wifeys behind.
Morgana: God, these people are dreadful.
Morgana orders another lemon-juice, while Adora doesn't say anything, as she cleans up the glass shards.
Firmly grasping onto Declan, Chris Extreme leads both himself and his opponent back towards the ringside area. Along his way, he knocks over some gay cabana boys...
Chris Extreme: Fags.
...and even knocks over some random fans.
Chris Extreme: Even more fags.
As they arrive exactly outside of the ring, Chris bashes Declan's bloody face off the steel ring steps and then rolls him inside, but not before soaking up the hateful jeers from the audience. Sliding inside an hovering around Declan, Chris watches as his challenger gets to a kneeling position, and then dashes at him.
Going for a sweeping kick, Chris's attempt is swiftly blocked, as Declan gets both arms up, stopping the foot from striking. In lieu of this, Declan promptly stands to his feet, spins Chris around and then stifles him with a jarring forearm to the jaw!
Stunned, Chris goes down to one knee, but quickly pops back up, giving Declan a punch of his own.
...and Declan fires back with another punch, repeating a scene from earlier in the match.
Chris goes to strike with another punch; but before he can send one off, Declan kicks him in the gut and then standing headscissors him. Before long, Declan holds Chris up, looking for a crucifix-powerbomb. Squirming and wiggling his way to safety, Chris lands behind Declan, spins him around, punches him in the cock; and follows up with The Nut-Tap DDT!
Rolling Declan over, Chris goes for the cover...
...1...2...
Nano-seconds before the three-count, Declan places his left foot on the bottom rope, stopping the three-count!
The fans can't believe it; and neither can Chris Extreme, who looks at the referee, in complete awe. Dragging Declan parallel to the corner, Chris Extreme begins to slowly climb to the top turnbuckle pad, with his back facing his downed opponent. Wanting to deliver a Blitzkreigasm/moonsault to his opponent, Chris is surprised by Declan, who pops back up, sweeping Chris's legs out from beneath him with a swinging-kick!
Cock-first, Chris lands on the top turnbuckle pad, screaming out in agony. Delivering a double-axehandle to Chris's back, Declan is keen to turn Chris around, making him sit properly on the top turnbuckle, where he then strikes with another high-kick to the face. Climbing up alongside Chris, Declan strikes with a fist and then goes for a superplex.
However, Chris blocks the attempt...
In retaliation, Chris fires a forearm into Declan's ribcage and then headbutts him. Biting at Declan's broken nose, Chris then tries for a Cock-Factor...!
...only to have Declan push Chris's arms away! Instead, Declan reaches up, grabs onto Chris's head and delivers his very own version of a Cock Factor!
Declan rolls Chris onto his back and makes the cover...
...1...
The referee counts one...
...2...
...two... and...
...
Just in the nick of time, Chris pops his right shoulder up, stopping the count!
Much like Chris before him, Declan is amazed at the lack of a pinfall. Standing up slowly, he brings Chris up with him. Striking with a double-kneelift, Declan leaves Chris dazed. Standing back, Declan charges at Chris, hoping to bring him spiralling down with a spear. At full speed, Declan bursts towards Chris, who instantly dodges out of the way, seeing Declan charge at him out of the corner of his eye.
Bam!
Declan misses Chris and charges directly into the ring-post, smashing his shoulder off the steel! Taking advantage of this, Chris rolls Declan up with a schoolboy...
...1...2...
But Declan kicks out!
Both men are battered, bruised; and in Declan's case, bleeding. Like two destroyed warriors, they get to their feet, at about the same time, showing major dysfunction and breakdown, barely remaining conscious.
With his left shoulder immobilized, thanks to crashing into the post, Declan strikes Chris with a uppercut with his right hand. He follows that up with a back-elbow to Chris's jaw, seconding that by bouncing off the ropes, only to run right into a stiff punch to the testicles from Chris!
Hoping to keep this advantage, Chris grabs Declan and throws him back into the post, with his left shoulder jamming against the steel. Seconds later, he turns Declan around, sits him on the top turnbuckle and keeps him there with an uppercut to the jaw! Chris climbs up alongside Declan, only to receive a right-forearm in the mouth, coupled with Declan throwing Chris to the canvas!
Roaring back up, with anger in his eyes, Chris charges all-out into the corner, hoping to climb up and deliver a Cock-Factor to Declan. However, as he reaches the halfway point of the ring, Declan leaps off the turnbuckles and uses his right shoulder to connect with a flying spear to Chris Extreme!
As if he ran straight into a train, Chris twists around in mid-air, strung out and ran over! Instinctively, he steps up to his feet, only to have Declan grab onto his hand, pull him near, and then deliver the Blood Money, driving his face into the canvas!
Declan rolls Chris onto his back, drops down and makes a cover...!
...1...2...
The fans rise to their feet...
...
Everyone watches as the referee begins to slam his hand down for the third time...
...3!
With the referee slapping his hand off the mat for the third consecutive time, the fans howl out, as a new champion is officially crowned! Chris Extreme's second reign of terror as World Champ has come to an end; and the time is now Declan Turner's!
Rising to his feet, victorious, Declan is greeted by members of The Collective, including Jay, Andrew Keller, Stephen Marquardt; and even his ex-wife, Madison Paige-Matthews! For the moment, they hold Declan, who has his World Title, in the air, with Andrew Keller and Stephen Marquardt holding him up on their shoulders, getting a mixed reaction from the fans.
Letting Declan Turner back onto the canvas, they watch as he picks Chris Extreme up, dumps him over the top rope and throws him to the floor. Not only that, but he pulls Chris back up, drags him to the side of the boat and then throws him overboard, with the camera catching him splashing into ocean!
Declan Turner straps the World Title around his waist, forces off the swastika that had been placed on it and holds his arms in the air. From this victory celebration, the cameras switch to Chris Extreme floating in the Atlantic.
Chris Extreme: This is the worst day ever.
He splashes about.
Chris Extreme: Give me back my title!
The Swastika is thrown overboard and smashes into Chris Extreme's forehead...
Chris Extreme: I'll sue you. I swear...!
Chris has a moment of clarity, realizing that Declan is a lawyer. He angrily splashes his hands.
Chris Extreme: Well, fuck this.
Booger floats by, waving at Chris.
Booger: Hi Chris!
Chris Extreme: What the fuck?! Where is Mercedes?! Someone get me out of here!
Chris latches onto Booger's belly, keeping himself afloat.
Chris Extreme: I hate lawyers. This is all Dan Black's fault, too. Fucking Dan Black.
Weeping out loud, Chris and Booger float off, with the camera switching away.
Winner: Declan Turner
Before Eternity goes off the air, the camera feed goes inside of the boat's hutch, where the captain is trying to keep things steady. Panic seems to be in the air, as the boat comes upon a mysterious island.
Captain: What is this place?!
Crew Member: I've never seen this land before in my life!
Just then, Corey Page walks in, drinking a glass of water and eating a donut.
Corey Page: Hey, what's going on--- hey, what the fuck is that island?!
Captain: I don't know! Now get the hell out!
Crrrrrrrrrrasshhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
The boat smashes into the island. The camera goes snowy. And the image fades out.