Event Date: Tuesday, June 10th, 2008
Theme Song: Ignite - "Bullets Included, No Thought Required"
There's a giant sound of trumpets, as a glorious sound comes from the iPope speakers set up in the wrestling area. Wait...is it really...the Pope is here?! The crowd starts to grow restless as a glass-walled car starts to roll to the ring...
...with Chris Carson inside, gracing our presence with the Impulse title on his shoulder. He waves sarcasticly to the crowd without his son, who is in the capable hands of...someone. Various cans and pieces of fruit are tossed at the car, but Carson just grins it off. He finally reaches the ring and slides in quickly. The boos rain down, but the rotton tomatoes do not as Carson picks up a microphone.
Chris Carson: Welcome to Vatican City, bitches!
Boooooooo.
Chris Carson: That's right, folks. You've had your fancy-pants shows from Pinky and the Jew. Now it's time for a real booking talent to outshine them both. Let's not forget that I gave you all a fuckin' jaw-droppin' show at Back To School!
Swearing in the ring? How unholy!
Chris Carson: So let me get right to the point. Tonight, here in the holiest of holy lands, The Creep brings you a night of Sin! That's right...each match tonight? Sin personified! You've got Cross and D'Andre droppin' Wrath down on each other in a steel cage. You have Casanova robbin' Dicklan in a Greed Bankroll match, where he's gonna lose money if he loses his match! We've got wrestlers combating their gluttonous ways, their lust for success, and their own "don't-give-a-fuck" mentalities!
And just to add some salt in the wounds, I'm going to personally authorize a dumpster match between Morgana and the Swingset tonight! If they refuse and would rather just fingerbang each other...well, then it just looks like they'll end up forfeitin' their match at Vanity. Tough cookies, ladies--wrestle or else!
Carson gets quite serious for a moment, looking into the camera.
Chris Carson: And finally...YOU, Yorkie. You pull me over the rope, you swipe my son at ringside...you're startin' to piss me off, motherwhore. If you're not gettin' the picture and becomin' a man for once, then I'll have to whip the baby you wanna be. Tonight, we square in a Daycare of Doom match. Toys from Tonka to Mattel for our use. No title match, of course, but here's the sticker. He who loses tonight...will have to DRESS like a baby at Vanity! Pampers, bib, pacifier, the whole frickin' game, Yorkie! And trust me, The Creep is too proud to lose...now, let's start the frickin' show!
Carson grins to himself, taunting the crowd with his title raised high.
The theme song for Eternity plays and the image fades in, showing Morgana wearing a pink skort, walking up the steps to the Vatican. She passed by a few horrified nuns, who bless themselves as she walks by, taking a second to gossip loudly about Morgy's appearance. With her pink hair pulled back, she goes to enter the building for tonight's event, only to be started by some loud banging and wailing.
Morgana: What the fuck?
Her loud complaint overheard by another group of nuns, whom douse themselves in holy water.
Morgana: What is that?
The noises force Morgana to walk to the side, bringing her to a dumpster, which sits outside the Vatican. These noises capture her attention, bringing her over to the side of it, allowing her to peer in.
Right before her eyes, wallowing in garbage, leftovers and chocolate Jesus-shaped food items is the massive, disgusting, abortion of a human being, Booger.
Booger: Don't look at me! Don't look at me! I'm disgusting! I can't control it! I can't control what's inside of me!
Booger stands up, using his right hand to chow down pizza with vomit on it. Meanwhile, with his left, Booger eats some Eucharist that has gone mouldy.
Booger: I'm a monster! Stay away from me!
Shocked and appalled, Morgana takes a step back.
Morgana: Isn't this the dumpster Stevie and I are supposed to use?
Booger stops and looks at Morgana.
Booger: Stevie Swing... that... that... that Jew!
Releasing a bitter, hateful remark, Booger covers his mouth, climbs out of the dumpster and runs away.
Booger: I can't stop it!
Stunned, Morgy shrugs her shoulders.
Morgana: Stevie is my friend... I don't even wanna face her! Stupid "Creep".
Realizing she is talking to herself, Morgana skips away, drawing the ire of some more women of the Habit.
Singles Match
The cameras open inside of the Vatican, where Kaylie Vaughn Devlin is already inside of the ring, watching as Generic Heel slyly walks around the ring, arguing with various fans; including the Pope. After threatening to punch the Pope in the face, Generic Heel turns around and rolls inside, glaring down Kaylie Vaughn Devlin.
Ding... ding... ding!
The bell rings and the match starts with Generic Heel walking up to Kaylie... and pinching her buttocks. Angered, she slaps him across the face, not liking his methods of affection.
But then Generic Heel punches her and she collapses onto her back.
Out of the referee's sight, Generic Heel tucks a pair of brass knuckles into his mask and then falls atop Kaylie Vaughn Devlin, resting his testicles on her face.
...1...2...
Generic Heel counts along...
...3!
Removing his testicles from Kaylie's face, Generic Heel stands to his feet and pisses in the center of the ring. Walking to the back, he calls himself a bad motherfucker and then exits through the curtain.
Winner: Generic Heel
We're no longer inside the Vatican. Instead, the camera opens inside of a hospital, where doctors and nurses traverse back-and-forth, giving way for the camera to show Mike Phantasy laying in a hospital bed, barely able to move. A doctor stands over him, with a clipboard in his hand.
Doctor: Mr. Phantasy, your chest is caved in. As a matter of fact, there is a major tear in your pectoral muscles. I'm afraid we can't release you tonight to wrestle. In fact, the only way you will be able to wrestle is with a chest protector; but even then, I...
Mike goes to sit up, showing obvious signs of pain.
Mike Phantasy: Listen, doctor, I don't care what you say. I'll find that... that... that fat piece of shit and I'll stomp him out.
He grimaces in pain.
Mike Phantasy: I swear to God, I'll pick that Booger if it's the last thing I do...
Doctor: I see.
Sitting back down, Mike yelps out, feeling the pain in his chest and ribs.
Doctor: I told you not to move!
Mike Phantasy: Ugh...
The doctor applies some instruments to Mike's chest, while the image fades out.
Ultraviolence Tournament -- Semi-Finals
Italian Restaurant
The scene now opens inside of the Italian restaurant, where tonight's match between Chris Staggs and Booger is set to take place. Walking in through one of the doors is Chris Staggs, who looks ready for a fight, taking a minute to pick up a wooden stool, holding it in the air.
Chris Staggs: Wooo! Let's get this thing started! I'm doing this for you, Stevie Swing, baby!
A crowd of restaurant patrons look at him, not knowing what the heck he is talking about. Shrugging the raucous behaviour of this awkward man off, the restaurant's patrons turn their attention back to their meal. Unfortunately, their eating soon turns to disgust, as the stench of the behemoth-like man, known as solely as Booger, stomps into the restaurant.
...just as his two feet enter, though, Chris Staggs comes up from behind and smashes the wooden stool off Booger's back, splintering it into pieces! Even worse, this causes Booger to stampede forward, falling face-first into a platter of spaghetti and meatballs, which sits in front of some rich, white woman.
Right away, Chris Staggs follows up by chasing in after Booger, clubbing him in the back of the head with a piece of the stool. Clutching onto Booger pasta-sauce filled head, Chris Staggs arches his head back, realzing that Booger has a meatball in his mouth.
Chris Staggs: Come on, eat it. It tastes yummy!
Booger: Never!
Knowing that the rules permits him from eating food, Booger fights off the tempations and spits the meatball out. It lands between the woman's cleavage. Chris Staggs is the first to help out, trying to remove the meatballs.
Chris Staggs: Boobies!
Chris Staggs places his hands between the woman's breasts, only to get a slap in the face from the lady... followed by a punch from the lady's wife. As soon as he turns around, he then walks directly into a clubbering blow from Booger, who strikes his fat fist into Chris Staggs' jaw, knocking him over a restaurant table.
Booger: I'm a monster... a demon is inside of me... I must eat...
Booger eyes some breadsticks...
Booger: No! No! I cannot! I mustn't!
This confusion leads to Chris Staggs recouperating, standing to his feet and grabbing a pizza tray, using it to blast across the back of Booger's skull. This shot ultimately spins Booger around, forcing Staggs to then strike with a straight-up shot to the face!
Stumbling backwards, in a slight daze, Booger is kicked in the gut by Staggs, who almost has his foot stuck in his girth. On one foot, Staggs leaps about, trying to remain in a standing position, only to get swatted in the head by an angry Booger.
Booger: You won't like me when I'm angry!
After the punch, Booger uses both hands to grab onto Chris Staggs' head, then using his strength to completely launch him across the restaurant, knocking down various tables, chairs and pastas. Stomping towards Staggs like a voracious animal, Booger squishes him into the side of a table, almost turning him into a grape!
Just then, a waiter walks by, holding a plate full of pasta sauce. Seeing this, Booger grabs the plate, pushes the waiter aside and then dumps the pasta sauce all over Chris Staggs, burning him!
Chris Staggs: AHHHH! It's so hot! It's burning!
Staggs jumps to his feet, fleeting around, trying to remove the sauce off him. Booger remains on his game, though, by grabbing the previously eyed breadsticks, picking them up and then smashing them across Chris Staggs' back, beating him down with the bread loaves.
Chris Staggs: It's so hot! Get it off me! Mr. Feeney, help!
Booger: Mr. Feeney can't help you now; and neither can Cory Matthews. It's Booger time!
As Chris is on his hands and knees, Booger comes up behind him, jumps into the air and flattens Staggs by landing on his back, squishing him into the floor! Over and over again, Booger jumps up and lands on Staggs, trying to pancake him into the floor. He goes for one last dive, but at the last second, Chris Staggs rolls out of the way, whilst holding his ribcage.
As a result, this causes Booger to land flat on his asshole on the floor, allowing Chris to momentarily stand. Picking up a pizza, he flings it at Booger's face, dousing him in pizza sauce, cheese, pepperoni, salami, green peppers, pineapple and ground beef.
Booger: Agh! No! Noooo! It's so tasty!
Chris Staggs: Eat it!
As if he were Braveheart, Chris Staggs yells at Booger, demanding that he eat the food, thus disqualifying him. Again, however; Booger fights off his urges, as he wipes his face clean and goes to stand to his feet.
Unfortunately, Chris Staggs throws people from a nearby two-person table, picks this table up and launches it at Booger, catching him square in the face/head. The force of impact knocks Booger clear off his feet, allowing for Chris Staggs to bellyflop onto the large man.
A pinfall is made and the referee begins to count...
...1...2...
At the count of two, Booger's stomach rumbles, giving him the strength of 100 oxen, enabling him to push Staggs off him, launching him into the buffet aisle.
Rising up, a peturbed Booger follows Chris Staggs towards the buffet section. Eyeing all the food, Booger is stunned, barely able to move, water dripping from his lips, with his hunger howling out. This lapse in concentration is enough to give the advantage to Chris Staggs, who is able to hide behind the buffet counter, allowing him to blindside Booger with a superkick to the back of the skull!
This kick -- an obvious ode to Stevie Swing -- forces Booger forward, sending him face-first into a hot vat of oil. Snapping back, Booger holds his face, screaming out in pain, just like Chris Staggs a few minutes ago.
Grabbing a few peppers, Chris Staggs begins launching them at Booger, pelting them off the side of his head, no doubt dazing him. Grinding some of the peppers into the palm of his hand, Chris Staggs jumps on Booger's back, headlocking him, while mushing some of the peppers into Booger's eyes, hoping to blind him.
Booger: Aghhhh.... no! Can't see!
Thrashing wildly, Booger attempts heaving Staggs off his back, but to no avail. Rumbling backward, Booger and Staggs go crashing over a nearby table, toppling it over, even breaking it in two, sending them both through it. Thanks to this, Booger lands atop Chris Staggs, who can barely move.
Upon seeing this, the referee commences counting Chris Staggs down...
...1...2...
However, at the last possible second, Staggs reaches out, grabs a fork and uses it to viciously slash at Booger's forehead, giving him the chance to slide out from underneath the big man.
Booger, who is now bleeding and temporarily blinded, gets to a kneeling position, covered in pizza sauce and blood, a fitting combination. Chris Staggs, who is holding his ribcage, is able to slowly rise to his feet, still with the fork in his hands.
Battering Booger in the forehead with some kicks, Staggs proceeds to repeatedly strike Booger in the forehead with the fork, slicing him open even further. He even uses the fork to grind into Booger's skin, trying to literally rip the flesh off Booger's forehead.
Amongst the ruckus, another waiter passes by, carrying a bottle of win. Seeing this, Staggs reaches out, grabs the bottle, and aims the top of it at Booger.
POP!
He uncorks it, sending the bottle stopper into Booger's right ass-cheek, bruising him. As wine flows everywhere, even pouring out onto the floor, Chris holds it up, about to smash it across Booger's skull...
...except Booger reaches out and stops Chris's arm, at the last second. This results in the bottle smashing to the floor, with Booger striking with some more bloody fists, staining Staggs' face.
Next, another waiter passes by and Booger stops him. He is holding a tray with a long cover over it, which soon gets removed.
Booger: Mmmm... lasagna...
As Booger goes to induldge himself, temporarily forgetting the rules, Chris Staggs lurches up behind him and pushes him face-first into the lasagna, mushing his face in there with much effort. Removing a string of cheese, he even begins wrapping it around Booger's neck, attempting to choke him out, only to have Booger fire back with some elbows to Staggs' gut. It isn't until Booger can grab hold of the tray the waiter had been holding, using it to bash against Chris' skull that he can possibly find an escape.
On his hands and knees, Chris Staggs tries to crawl away from Booger, but inadvertently crawls across the broken pieces of the wine bottle, cutting himself. With Booger haunting him, Chris Staggs crawls to the nearest waiter, who is also holding a tray that has a cover on it.
Gasping, Chris Staggs grabs the tray and removes the cover... only to see a glass baseball bat.
Chris Staggs looks at the "waiter", surprised to see that this "waiter" is ripping off a fake Italian moustache, revealing himself to be Andrew Hurley, dressed in a fake waiter's attire! Before Chris can even respond, Hurley grabs the glass bat, drops the tray and smashes the bat across Staggs' skull, splintering glass shards everywhere, some of them even falling into people's food!
Standing over Chris Staggs, Andrew Hurley spits on the mat that eliminated him from the Ultraviolence Title and walks off before security can catch him. This, of course, leaves Booger alone with the fallen Chris Staggs. Seeing Chris incapacitated and covered in sparbles of glass, Booger pounds on his chest, acting as if he were some sort of wild gorilla.
He picks Chris up, headbutts his bloody forehead, mixing their blood together. Soon, he presses Chris above his head and heaves him towards the Italian Restaurant's buffet area, toppling it over, sending meatballs everywhere! Once Chris crashlands, Booger steamrolls forward, propels himself into the air with a chair and splashes onto Chris Staggs!
The cover is made...
...1...2...
Chris squirms, but it's all no good...
...3!
Time has run out for Chris Staggs, as he has officially been eliminated from the Ultraviolence Title Tournament, thanks in part to Andrew Hurley. Getting the victory in the mosy ironic of places -- a restaurant, Booger gets to his feet and showers himself in meatballs and pizzas!
Booger: The new era of Booger has begun!
He holds his hands in the air, lavishing in his victory, grossing out every other person in the restaurant. Chris Staggs, on the other hand, is aided out of the restaurant, where he is quite devastated over his defeat.
Winner: Booger
"I Don't Give A Shit" Match
The familiar beat begins to resonate and over the loudspeakers, you begin to hear a voice...
TIME.
IS.
UP.
The limitless potential.
Living inside of me.
To murder everything.
I hope they cannot see.
I am the great destroyer.
Listen to the shit they pump into your head.
Filling you with apathy.
Hold your breath.
Wait until you know the time is right on time.
THE END IS NEAR.
The lights go dim and "I love the Cocaine" by Buckcherry plays. Roxy Erikson does a cartwheel to the middle of the stage and throws her arms into the air, showing off a sparkling silver bikini, with knee-high matching silver boots. Her blonde hair is loose and wild, showing lack of care.
She gets down to one knee and again throws her arms into the air, posing for all the fans as the giant screen behind her Flashes in huge letters.
Roxy stands and begins dancing her way down the ramp, giving them high-fives and kisses on the cheek. She even does a running slide into the ringm under the bottom rope, and on her belly.
Once inside, she stands up and poses on the second rope of the corner post of the ring before moving to the opposite corner. She jumps down, blows the crowd a kiss and waits for her match to begin.
The referee calls for the bell, and Roxy approaches Andrew, nearlyliterally foaming at the mouth for a piece of his cockhim. Andrew isn’t immediately sure how to handle the rabid woman, so he proceeds with caution. The two lock up though, and it is Roxy who gets the early advantage, as she bites Andrew’s shoulder! Hurley cries out in shock, then goes down to the mat in a heap, as Roxy knees him in the balls! The referee checks on Andrew, but he still gives a shit, and the match continues.
Roxy, not content to let Hurley to his feet, pounces on the refugee-skinny OTTR4 main eventer and begins to rain headbutts down on him until Hurley rolls over and administers a huge backhanded slap to Roxy’s face! She smiles, seemingly enjoying it, and Hurley does it again! Roxy smiles again, showing that Hurley has bloodied her mouth, then she hawks a bloody loogie at him, landing right in his eye, possibly transmitting whatever disease Roxy is unknowingly carrying! Hurley staggers back and looks ready to give up, but Roxy is up, too, and spears the batsman through the ropes and to the outside!
It is Hurley who gets up to his feet first, and he scrambles to the timekeeper’s table, whereupon he pulls out a trusty glass bat. Hurley turns around and swings blindly…and he connects! The glass bat shatters upon contact with Roxy’s skull, and she goes down bleeding! The ref checks on Roxy, but she still gives a shit, so Hurley kneels down to Roxy’s legs and stabs her in the cunt with the broken handle of the glass bat! The ref checks Roxy again, but she appears to be getting off on it. She spasms a bit and winds up kicking Andrew Hurley in the face via reflexes.
Roxy gets up quickly and stumbles to the rail, where she reaches into a Mexican fan’s pocket and pulls out a pretty impressive switchblade. She brandishes it and charges at Hurley, who looks to avoid her, but winds up eating the Roxy Ride! Roxy flips the blade out and spreads Andrew’s legs. He comes alive, as Roxy begins to bring the blade down to his balls!
Andrew Hurley: I don’t give a shit!
Roxy stops and shrugs, throwing the switchblade into the crowd for some lucky kid. The ref rings the bell, and we have our winner, but honestly, who gave a shit?
Not Andrew Hurley, who wisely quits, not wanting to have his testicles sliced open, smirking as he exits the ring. Roxy Erikson probably gives a shit, though, as she looks on as he makes his way to the back.
Winner: Roxy Erikson
A flock of nuns surround the area, circling around a person hidden from the camera view. When the cameraman finally pushes his way in, the image shown is that of Morgana, who has gathered at the punch bowl, getting a drink. She's quite aware of the nuns swarming around her, scolding her, but she pays no mind. Instead, she continues with her drink, overhearing someone else make their way into the scene.
Voice: Excuse me... out of the way... Jewish woman coming through. I don't believe in you people.
The voice is that of Stevie Swing, who pushes her way past a flock of nuns, who stick their nose ito the air and pray for Stevie Swing's poor lesbian soul.
Stevie Swing: Morgy... Morgy... there you are. You haven't answered my calls...
Morgana: ...Probably because I haven't been home because of this European tour.
Stevie Swing: ...Oh. Well, I guess that explains that. Anyhow, I just want to say I'm sorry!
Morgana: Yeah, yeah, yeah...
Stevie Swing: I didn't mean to kick you! I meant to kick that other douchebag, Declan Turner. It was an accident, I swear!
Morgana: I believe you.
Stevie Swing: You do? Well, wanna make out?
Morgana: I'll pass.
Stevie Swing: Damn. But really... it was an accident.
Morgana places her cup down.
Morgana: I told you... it's fine. Trust me.
Stevie Swing: I know, I know. And when I kick you tonight, it's only business.
Confused, Morgana peers awkwardly at Stevie Swing.
Morgana: Excuse me?
Stevie Swing: Did you burp? Oh dear, how embarassing.
Morgana: Uhm... no. I'm talking about you kicking me in the face tonight.
Stevie Swing: Oh... yeah... well, "The Creep" has booked us in a match. A dumpster match, no less. I'm not really sure why he wants us to wrestle in his house, but what are you going to do?
Morgana: Wait... no...
Stevie Swing: Hmmm?
Morgana: Who said you'll be kicking me in the face?
Stevie Swing: Well... it's a match. I... uh... come on...
Morgana: Well?
Stevie Swing: Look, I gotta go... and... uh...
Giving Stevie a cold, hard stare, Morgana watches as Stevie Swing desperately tries to remove herself from the situation.
Morgana: "Kicking me in the face", eh?
Stevie Swing: Yep... well... the weather is nice. Time to go.
Stevie Swing turns to walk away, but accidentally bumps into a Bible-carrying priest. The Bible, of course, rubbing against Stevie Swing, burning her forearm.
Stevie Swing: Ouch! That's hot! I'm Jewish; I can't touch these sort of things!
Scurrying away, Stevie Swing leaves behind a befuddled Morgana, who cautiously furrows her brow.
Ultraviolence Tournament -- Semi-Finals
Enclosed Cage
The arena blacks out and lights begin to flash all over the crowd in search of the man wielding the spotlight... "Say Hello" by Jay-Z is heard as the spotlight enlarges on top of the entrance ramp. No entrance video with an underground feel. Augustus Cross stands backwards with his arms in the crucifix position. He spins around, walking down the aisle calm and collected as the spotlight follows him to the ring.
The hard opening of "Whisper" by Evanescence plays overhead as the lights fade out with just a few hues of gold and red peircing through.
The lights flash to the song's beat, while a hooded and masked figure, Devon D'Andre, steps out to the stage, His arms outstretched, two figners pointed outwards, the rest inward, he lets his head fall back, the hood coming off, revealing the top half of his face.
Making his way down the aisle, he ignores the fans to both sides of him, until he reaches the ringside area. Turning to his left, he walks to the corner of the two barricades and steps up on to a chair, placing one foot up on the railing, as he stares out over the crowd, his eyes cold and dead.
Reaching up to the ropes, he hops up to a knee on the apron, holding the middle rope as he looks out over everyone. Standing up, he slips into the ring.
As he stands up, he slips the jacket off and removes the mask from his face, tossing each to the outside as the song fades out the lights slowly come back up.
The cage gets lowered down over the two competitors like a trap over two mice. The cage's walls slide inside the ring's ropes, so there are no exits, no means to escape.
The bell rings, and the match starts! The two charge forth and tie-up, exchanging slaps and punches. After both get staggered, Cross charges forth and spears D'Andre, shoving him into the steel. He tries for a quick pin...
...1...
...but he's unable to even get a two.
After connecting with a hard forearm shot that sends Devon to the corner, Cross connects with a pair of boots to the midsection. Grabbing his arm, he whips Devon across the ring, into the far side. Devon smacks hard against the cage! Charging across, Cross goes for a running clothesline, but Devon ducks the arm. This allows him to grab Augustus around the head and neck. Quickly sweeping the leg, he forces him face first into the cage's corner with a reverse STO!
Devon capitalizes on this, trying to get a cover...
...1...2...
However, Augustus is able to kickout!
Up next, Devon tries an awkward enziguiri, but Cross ducks. In reply, Cross connects a knife edge chop that rocks Devon back on his heels, until Devon connects with an overhand chop of his own. Grabbing Augustus' arm, Devon whips Cross into the ropes. As he comes back, Devon sidesteps him, shoving him into the cage again. This time, Devon spins on the balls of his feet and connects with a roaring elbow, Cross' head rocking backwards!
In control, Devon connects with a hard open-hand palm strike to shove Cross into the corner! Using the cage, Devon climbs up the ropes next to Cross and connects with a set of kicks, rocking Cross' head back into the cage. Using the cage to hold himself up, he connects with a dropkick like move, shoving Cross into the cage, causing him to fall to his knees on the mat. Turning around, Devon lines up and leaps off, driving both of his feet into the back of Cross' head with a diving double-stomp!
Thinking he has the match in the bag, Devon D'Andre goes for a cover, believing he has moved onto the finals of the Ultraviolence Title Tournament. He even hooks Augustus Cross' leg.
...1...2...
But to no such luck, as Augustus is just barely able to kick out!
Angered, Devon lifts Cross back up, finally looking to put away the match, driving Cross to the mat with a sudden snapmare driver, his "Pure Gold III' finisher! Instead of pinning Cross, though; he looks up at the top of the enclosed cage.
While Cross tries to recover, with his back to the mat, Devon starts to scale the cage all the way to the top! He manages to dangle and slither across the top of the cage from the inside like a monkey, then falls back to the mat, nailing a falling splash across the wrestler!
The crowd is in an uproar as Devon hooks Augustus Cross' leg, getting the pinfall...
...1...2...3!
This gets Devon a guaranteed three-count, and he moves to the finals of the Ultraviolence Title with an impressive win! Devon D'Andre has his hand raised by the referee, while the cage is deconstructed, finishing things off with a stomp to Augustus' head.
Exiting to the back, Devon passes through the curtain, while Augustus tries to recover inside of the ring.
Winner: Devon D'Andre
Chris Staggs is seen walking down the hall, carrying a boom box in his right hand, while looking slightly depressed. His loss from earlier in the night is heavily on his mind, along with being overthrown as the president of Stevie Swing Fanclub, which probably cuts even deeper. He stops at a dressing room door and knocks...
Chris Staggs: Stevie, it’s me... Chris Staggs. Would you please talk to me?
Chris Staggs remains still, the door remaining shut.
Chris Staggs: Stevie, I just want to tell you... I LOVE YOU! THIS IS FOR YOU!
In a firm display of love, Chris presses "play" on the boom-box and holds it over his head. From the speakers, erupts “In Your Eyes” By Pete Gabriel, with Staggs beginning to sing along with it.
the light the heat
in your eyes
I am complete
in your eyes
I see the doorway to a thousand churches
in your eyes
the resolution of all the fruitless searches
in your eyes
I see the light and the heat
in your eyes
oh, I want to be that complete
I want to touch the light
the heat I see in your eyes
Chris Staggs continues singing at the top of his lungs until Stevie Swing walks up behind him, tapping him on the shoulder.
Stevie Swing: What are you doing?
Chris Staggs: OH, STEVIE!!! I thought you were in there!
Stevie Swing: That isn’t even my dressing room.
Chris Staggs: Oh... I got a song dedicated for you!
Hurriedly, Chris Staggs hits the back-track button...
Stevie Swing: Oy vey! Chris, you are a nice guy, but I am a lesbian. There isn't anything you can do.
Chris Staggs: I told you... I don’t care if you vote for Hilary Clinton.
Stevie Swing is puzzled for a moment by the statement.
Stevie Swing: No, I love women. Sorry, Chris, but you are not a woman.
Chris Staggs: Please... just one date. We can go to Chuck E. Cheese. I got rid of all the glass bats in the ball pit!
Stevie Swing: As fun as that sounds, I have to pass. Anyway, I got to get ready for my match.
Chris Staggs: Good luck.
Stevie Swing: Thanks... even though I'm facing my own friend. Chris Carson... what a dirtbag.
Stevie Swing walks away, shaking her head, as Chris Staggs puts down the boom box. Mr. Feeney walks over, having overheard the conversation.
Mr. Feeney: You okay?
Chris Staggs: SUPER REF! DARN YOU! He has gotten to Stevie Swing! I mean that is why she gave some lame excuse about her being lesbian. I mean... at least Stevie was nice enough to lie to me.
Mr. Feeney: Um... okay.
Chris Staggs: I will get SUPER REF IF IT IS THE LAST THING I DO!
Chris Staggs storms off, as Mr. Feeney picks up the boom box and follows him. The dressing room door in which Chris Staggs was playing music opens up, showing Corey Page, who is sticking his head out.
Corey Page: Hey where did the music go? Peter Gabriel rocks!
Corey continues looking for the music, as the scene fades out.
The tinkling bells mark the beginning of "Rock Superstar" by Cypress Hill, as the arena lights suddenly go dark. With the guitars beginning the main part of the song, multicolored lights begin to pulse along with the beat, revealing Casanova to be standing on the stage, staring behind sunglasses over the ring and crowd. He heads toward the ring, high fiving a few fans and basking in the audience response, before rolling into the ring and crouching in one of the corners, ready for the match.
Thinking he will be facing Declan Turner, the World Champ, Casanova is taken aback when...
“Prison Sex” by Tool plays as the entire crowd stands on their feet and begins to boo. Casanova stands his ground in the ring, this time prepared for an attack, as he doesn’t look up the entranceway -- he looks around in the crowd, just in case, not wanting a repeat of the last Eternity.
After a few moments of the song playing, Zimdela Brudon walks out and starts making his way to the ring with his own cordless microphone in hand. The fans in the Vatican are jeering loudly, knowing of the former Ultraviolence and World Champ's history, as Zimdela comes down in black leather pants and no shirt, showing off his scarred body. The music dies down as Zimdela lifts the microphone to his face.
Zimdela Brudon: You can stop with the cautious "prey in the wilderness" routine, Casanova. I’m not going to attack you. If I was, do you think my music would be blaring? Last week, the only warning you got was the audience’s last second grasp of the violence they were about to view. If you don’t want to take down your guard, that’s fine with me... but I'm not taking you down. I just want to talk to you face-to-face, ex-Sentinel-to-ex-Sentinel... about our session last show.
Casanova lowers his guard, his face frozen, his thoughts not clear, not even blinking as Zimdela approaches. Slowly, Zimdela walks up the steps and walks onto the apron, but he doesn’t enter the ring yet. He continues to speak.
Zimdela Brudon: Let me make something perfectly clear. Last show... that felt good. Not only did it feel good, it felt fucking incredible. It's been a long time since I had done that... and as by the evidence of the “reminder” I left on your face, I couldn’t contain myself. Granted, I had to give myself...
Zimdela rubs his crotch with his free arm, as the crowd boos...
Zimdela Brudon: A little persuasion for a full-on release... but still, after almost three years of not taking a wrestler from behind, in any way shape or form, it felt fucking good, Casanova. It was sexy. It was fun. It turned me on and made me hot. The thing is, Casanova...
Zimdela finally enters the ring, as Casanova slowly stalks away to the far ropes. It seems like a retreat, except for how Casanova seems ready to spring forth in a split second.
Zimdela Brudon: "Why?" is an all-important question. Just one word, but it’s a question that is full of importance. "Why?" Why did Zimdela Brudon come back after such a long absence... and make your entire body fall limper than Corey Page’s dick? It’s a fair, honest, powerful question. I’m not going to hold you in suspense. It’s cause there’s a sickness going on, Casanova. I don’t have a name for it, I don’t even have a full explanation for it, but in pro wrestling, and in Sin Wrestling, in general... there’s a sickness going about!
Casanova's expression remains unchanged, before he finally smirks toward the crowd over his shoulder, as they continue booing the hell out of Zimdela.
Zimdela Brudon: You see, Casanova, wrestling is something you never fully leave. You always end up keeping up with it. Ever since my departure from wrestling, I have seen things get shittier... and shittier... and shittier!
The crowd jeers.
Zimdela Brudon: I almost stopped paying attention. I almost stopped following the moment I saw Flame win the world title. FUCKING FLAME WON THE WORLD TITLE, CASANOVA! A TITLE HELD BU EVERY GOD DAMN MEMBER OF THE SENTINELS OF INSANITY! A TITLE HELD BY THAT FUCKASS CHRIS EXTREME!
The jeers grow louder and louder at this time.
Zimdela Brudon: Don’t get me wrong; I hated that motherfucker, but he was sick enough to be a World Champion. Fucking Flame... he couldn’t even topple me when he owned the goddamn fed... and yet he somehow ends up as World Champion?! It got worse from there, didn’t it?
Casanova remains expressionless, letting Zimdela continue on.
Zimdela Brudon: Now I look around the past two years of Sin Wrestling... and what do my eyes see? TEAM WIFEY? You know what a Wifey is, Casanova? A "wifey" is something a man goes home to and beats the fuck out of and forces themselves upon after a hard day’s work! The crowd, of course, hates this.
Zimdela Brudon: A WIFEY DOES NOT WIN CHAMPIONSHIPS AND DOES NOT BRING AN ENTIRE FEDERATION TO ITS KNEES! Yet Sin Wrestling had these two wifeys... these two bitches... these two insufferable cunts winning matches left and right; and not an end in sight! EVEN YOU FUCKING REPEATEDLY GOT YOUR ASS KICKED BY THEM! Jesus H. Christ with a ten-inch strap on... We now have a pro wrestling lawyer as a world champion!
He rolls his eyes, takes a deep breath and continues on.
Zimdela Brudon: It was bad enough, Casanova, when we had a fucking Bureaucrat running around pretending he was a wrestler... I SENT THAT FUCKER’S ASS PACKING BACK TO THE IRS! Meanwhile, in the here and now, we've got a lawyer running around, pretending to be a wrestler AND HE HAS THE GOD DAMN WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP! Back when I was wrestling, that shit wouldn’t have stood, Casanova. That Declan bitch would’ve been found in a closet -- ball-gagged and with a barbed-wired dildo shoved up his objecting, but ultimately overuled ass... and then that very night, his world title around my god damn waist!
A loud jeering erupts from the crowd rains down on Zimdela, who yells back at them.
Zimdela Brudon: You know, though; I still kept up with pro wrestling. You want to know why? With all the bullshit running around, with all the faces in the crowd coming and going without full understanding of the violence one must achieve to succeed in this business, I kept watching for one thing.... Sentinels of Insanity. You see, even when we were a group, we hated each other... we loathed each other. We were jealous of each other, and hell; we always beat the fuck out of each other just to achieve our goals. You know what, Casanova, that’s why we worked so well. We didn’t bond cause of some foolish love for the business... or some ideal of teamwork. Fuck no, we all had a blood lust... a thirst for the ultraviolence... the sadism... the hunger for dominance that allowed us to continuously be on top and piss all over the fallen bodies of those dumb enough to attempt stop us.
In the corner, Casanova listens with intent.
Zimdela Brudon: Don’t get me wrong. I hate Aphrodisia Jordan, I fucking hate Draco. I can’t wait for the day they die so I can go to their open casket funerals whip out my cock and give them a little going away present on their face in front of their family and loved ones. They were Sentinels, though; and they had that lust for everything I described. So, imagine my disgust when I see what they’ve become... whiners and complainers! They go to a fed and have success, then have something minor go against them and fucking quit! They have become primadonnas -- fucking pro wrestling whores.
Another mixture of noise pours in from the fans.
Zimdela Brudon: You know, though; I always expected that out of them. It was never real to them. They are nothing more than whores, they go fed to fed, they take the fed’s money, they complain when a federation is supposedly fucking them, but at the same god damn time they open their mouths and allow the money to be shoved right the fuck in! That leads me to you. You were different...
Casanova's expression hardens again at the mention of their past allies, but remains the same as Brudon mentions him. He slowly crosses his arms over his chest, stepping a few feet closer to Zimdela.
Zimdela Brudon: I look at you... coming back in Sin Wrestling .. And let me clear something up right now... I want everyone to listen really well. You were the toughest fuck I ever had to face. You beat me twice... when people had to struggle, kill themselves, disfigure themselves to beat me ONCE! You, on the other hand, managed to do it twice! I ain’t taking shit away from you, but I am taking the piss out of what you are now.
Zimdela's finger points directly at Casanova, who has no idea how to react.
Zimdela Brudon: Look at you... look at the pathetic excuse you’ve become. You’re not even a shell of your former self. The shell of what you once were has gone and fallen - cracked on the floor; and the yolk of what you use to be has spilled out and spoiled. This joke, this sickness that pro wrestling has fallen under, has gotten to you, Casanova. Back in the old days, we, the Sentinels of Insanity, took a butcher knife and we CARVED Sin Wrestling into our image. Those who did not abide by what we wanted Sin Wrestling to be were simply tossed away like a used tampon. Now, look at yourself, Casanova. You had the ability to make Sin Wrestling bow down to you. Instead, you have conformed to the standards of Sin Wrestling. The mediocrity of Sin Wrestling...
Zimdela holds his nose in the air, looking down at the current Television Champion.
Zimdela Brudon: The OLD Casanova wouldn’t be a Television Champion. He would be world champion right now. Not because of some sense of earning it, but because he took it. Because he took the current champion in the alleyway behind the stadium. Rape the fuck out of him with a crow bar before the match... then pin him all in the same night! THAT’S HOW CASANOVA USE TO DO THINGS! That’s how things are suppose to be done. Sportsmanship? Fair play? Fan fucking Favorite. It’s all bullshit... yet those are the standards you choose to go by? My greatest opponent, the Sentinel that closest matched my ideology. HAS BECOME THIS?! IT MAKES ME WANT TO FUCKING PUKE!
With that, Zimdela steps forward, spitting straight into Casanova's face. Casanova wipes his face slowly, before quickly lunging to grab the microphone, yelling into it, finally hearing enough.
Casanova: A little jealous, asshole?! Closest matched your ideology, maybe, but constantly SURPASSING you when push came...
Before he can speak any further, the microphone is yanked back from his grasp.
Zimdela Brudon I’M NOT FUCKING DONE, MOTHERFUCKER! I DIDN’T ATTACK YOU OUT OF HATRED! Oh, no, don’t get me wrong... the hatred is there. I didn’t attack you cause I found it made me hard, even though it did. I attacked you... for your own fucking good; which is why I also... RIGHT NOW... challenge you to a match for your own fucking good.
The fans turn from hatred and anger at Brudon to a sudden loud pop at the first sign of Zimdela Brudon and Casanova possibly mixing it up in a SW ring yet again. Casanova stares slowly around the audience, before yanking the microphone toward himself.
Casanova: Maybe you're thinking for my own fucking good, Brudon, but I'll tell you why I'll say yes. I'm going to say yes because it's been far too long since the entire world has seen someone take your foot out of your mouth and shove it straight up your ass! That, and only that, is why I'm saying yes!
Casanova smiles widely and insincerely to Zimdela, before shoving the microphone into Zimmy's chest. Zimmy takes it, nodding slowly already in satisfaction, before speaking.
Zimdela Brudon: We don’t have to decide on the stipulations right now, but it ain’t going to be a plain match, Casanova. I’m dragging your ass into the realm of ultra violence. I can’t beat the old Casanova out of you... cause the old Casanova no longer exists. No, I’m going to take barbed-wire... I‘m going to take thumbtacks... I’m going to take all my tools and whether you want it or not, I’m going to mold you back into the image of what I believe Casanova used to be. YOU HEAR ME?! Sin Wrestling needs sick motherfuckers once again... and I’m going to turn you back into that sick motherfucker, not for my own good,.. not even for pro wrestling’s own good... But FOR YOUR OWN GOOD! Cause I refuse... I refuse for my greatest opponent, my favorite fellow Sentinel, to be turned into this pussy-whipped Sentinel, slowly allowing himself to conform to the mediocrity that Sin Wrestling has established...
. Zimdela is cut off as Casanova grabs the microphone back.
Casanova: No, that's ENOUGH! You've just lost your microphone privileges, Mister! Say whatever the hell you want, whatever delusional reality you can summon to make yourself feel better, but there's only ONE reason you're back here, and not desperately humping your other has-beens in their shallow puddle over...there. It's because you know that you can beat them, and you know that above even that, that NO ONE WILL GIVE A FUCK if you did! You've got a whole hallucinogenic world you've created to give yourself reason, but ultimately, you've got worse shit against our other former allies than me.
The fans cheer in unison for Casanova, egging him on.
Casanova: And then you have the nerve to tell me it's because I'm your greatest opponent, I'm your favorite Sentinel, I'm all that and the kitchen sink combined into one big flushed deuce, apparently! Don't get me wrong, Brudon, I am your greatest opponent. I may be your favorite Sentinel. But the only thing that's making you come my way and not to anyone else is that you're itching for the spotlight. You're getting older, and you're largely irrelevant these days. You used to be on a half dozen magazines a month, and now you're reduced to a half-page ad in the back of the dirtiest of the porno mags. You live your whole life outside of it, Brudon, and you'd deny it forever, but you crave that mainstream spotlight that Sin Wrestling gave you. Rather than be a subcultural nuisance, you were on TV every week, in the FUCKING WORLD'S FACE EVERY WAKING SECOND. They couldn't avoid you.
Casanova sullenly pauses.
Casanova: Now...? They don't know who the hell you are anymore. Hell, there's a good percentage of fans here who probably don't even know who you are, other than that guy Casanova mentions sometimes in promos. That's right, that's the extent of it. You're back to the basement, the subculture, the plantar wart of the modern world. Now, you know you want back in the limelight. You want what you once had. Would it be a bonus if it had to do with taking down your enemies now wrestling elsewhere? Sure. But what do I have that they don't? Without getting a good amount of laughs, they can't say, as I can...
He continues on, looking squarely at Zimdela Brudon.
Casanova: That they are the greatest wrestler in Sin Wrestling history. Not just now, not just then...FOREVER. Back when the Sentinels were the dominant force in SW, only one person dominated them, in turn. One of their own. Me. NOT YOU, NOT EITHER OF "THEM," ME, and only ME! Now, they've long since run off to run rampant over a bunch of pushovers, and hold meaningless titles. I alone remain here, and as long as that's the case, you'd never pick anywhere else to come back to. You'd get more of the spotlight, more of the recognition...more of everything you crave...
Casanova steps close to Zimdela Brudon, glaring up into his face.
Casanova: ...in a crushing loss to me than a thousand meaningless wins over them. And this is supposed to be for my own good, Brudon? No, for yours. For every new fan out there, who only has seen a zamboni in a SW match on DVD. For every die hard who can't even boo the Collective, because they remember the Sentinels of Insanity. For everyone who remembers what sound marked the end of more SOI interstable matches than any other...
Casanova steps past Zimdela, climbing to the second turnbuckle, staring over the audience for a moment, before turning, to stare at Zimdela over one shoulder, in the center of the ring.
Casanova: That would BE YOUR...
His voice drops to a whisper into the microphone, as the crowd finishes the line a thousand times louder than he does.
Audience: DESTINY
Casanova: ...destiny...
Audience: CALLING!
Casanova: ...calling.
The camera finally pans out, to show the entire audience, with Casanova standing over them on the second turnbuckle, and Zimdela Brudon in the middle of the ring, with a sinister smile. They continue to stare each other from their respective places before Zimdela blows Casanova a sarcastic kiss and mouths “Better bring a cigarette, it’s going to be that good”.
Casanova watches as Zimdela, with his back turned to him, walks up the rampway, the crowd booing him. He turns around one more time and mouths “The old Casanova would’ve attacked me right there you fucking pussy” before exiting completely, leaving Casanova in the ring, alone, staring up at the entrance ramp. The crowd begins a loud Casanova chant as he stands in the ring.
Finally, we can move on to the next match...
Bankroll Match
The arena goes dark as the words blaze across the screen.
Well, give us your sad sad trip.
I GET IT
IT ALL MAKES SENSE
YOU'RE THE PERFECT PERSON, SO RIGHT
SO WRONG
LET'S ALL LIVE IN YOUR IMAGINARY LIFE
Casanova, who has defeated both of Declan's opponents for Vanity at the past two cards, leans back, still having Zimdela Brudon's appearance on his mind. When the bell rings, he steps out, staring down Declan, who walks towards the current Television Champion, immediately locking-up with him.
From this collar-and-elbow tie-up, Casanova uses his slight size advantage to push Declan into the corner. This results in the referee stepping in, trying to bring the action away from the ropes, wanting to step in between both men. However, just as he seperates them, Declan wisely gauges at Casanova's right eye, following that up with a stiff forearm to the jaw.
Stepping from out of the corner, Declan grabs Casanova's head and switches position with him. It's now Casanova that is against then turnbuckles, on the receiving end on a flurry of back-elbow shots from Declan, who seconds these with some stomps and kicks to the gut.
Casanova, who has miraculously healed from the beating Zimdela gave him at the last show, is instantly whipped across the ring, slammed into the opposite set of turnbuckle pads. Facing out, he is privy to seeing Declan rush towards him, charging at full speed. With great force, Declan goes to strike with a leaping back-elbow attack; only to have Casanova dodge out of the way, at the proper time.
Smashing against the turnbuckle pads, Declan can only cover himself up, as Casanova goes on the attack, striking with a mixture of kicks, chops and punches. Looking for an escape, the World Champion wisely slinks out of the ring, away from Casanova's grasps... but not for long.
As he walks around on the floor, trying to regroup himself, Declan Turner turns around, only to see a wild Casanova charge forward, fling himself recklessly over the top rope and land on top of Declan, flattening him onto the floor! Much to the delight of the crowd, Casanova straddles Declan, smashing him over-and-over again with a multitude of fists.
Picking the World Champ up, Casanova, who is also a former World Champ himself, throws Declan at the ring steps. Furthering this attack, he grabs Declan's head and goes to bash his skull off the top step, only to have Declan stop the momentum, using his right foot. Instead, Declan elbows Declan in the chest, strikes with a thrust to the throat and then grabs Casanova's own head. In a matter of seconds, Declan smashes Casanova's face off the ring steps, dizzying the Television Champion.
Holding his face, Casanova stumbles around, trying to keep his wits, but Declan is quick to pummel him, even smashing his face off the ring apron, as well. Sliding in and out of the ring, breaking the ten-count, Declan maintains his offense, grabs Casanova and then whips him into the ring-railing. After bashing Casanova's skull off the railing, Declan lifts him up, holds him vertically up into a suplex position, and then finishes off, suplexing Casanova onto the railing, his back nearly snapping in half!
Picking Casanova up and rolling him forcefully back into the ring, Declan climbs onto the ring apron and signals for an early end. Turning to the turnbuckle pads, he begins ascending to the top, possibly wishing to hit a flying spear onto Casanova. Unfortunately, his climb is thwarted by Casanova, who is able to rise back to his feet, charge into the corner and then connect with a running Yakuza kick to Declan, who is on the top rope!
Crotched, and with nowhere to go, Declan Turner is in perfect position for Casanova, who climbs up with him, striking Declan with some punches. In a matter of seconds, Casanova superplexes Declan off the top rope, enabling him to freely flow onto Declan, trying for a cover...
The referee counts...
...1...2...
However, at the count of two, Declan Turner easily kicks out, showing why he's the World Champion.
Sitting Declan up, Casanova strikes with a soccer/football-kick to Declan's spine. Backing up, he bounces off the ropes and returns with a seated-dropkick, which also connects with Declan's spine. Wasting no time, Casanova again rises and proceeds into the opposite set of ropes, bouncing off with another seated-dropkick; this time connecting to Declan's face.
He goes for another cover...
...1...
Just like that, Declan again kicks out, thus prompting Casanova to sit him up again, applying a Dragon-sleeper.
In this position, Declan struggles, trying to break free of the hold, even standing to his feet. Bent backward, trying to remove himself from Casanova's clutches, Declan jerks wildly, even using his hands and arms to try and pry himself out of the hold. It isn't until using his right knee and leg that he is able to find an opening.
Using his leg and knee, Declan strikes Casanova overhead, bashing him at the tip of his skull. Eventually, Declan is able to power his way to a full standing position, even taking Casanova up onto his right shoulder. Soon enough, Declan is able to bring Casanova down with an Emerald Driver, dropping him head-first into the canvas!
Slowly rising to his feet, hoping to recover, the World Champ swiftly kicks Casanova in the ribs, turning him over. After delivering a flurry of stomps, Declan turns Casanova onto his stomach, grapevines both of his legs and interlocks them with his own right leg. Reaching forward, Declan grabs both of his opponent's arm and pulls back, surfboarding him. In no time later, Declan uses his left foot to place on the back of Casanova's head and then curbstomps his face into the canvas!
On top of that, Declan quickly steps laterally to Casanova and snaps onto him with a quick, snapping standing-moonsault! He gives the former World Champ absolutely no time to recover, as he rolls him onto his back, hooking a leg.
...1...2...
This time, it's Casanova's turn to show why he's a champion, as he kicks out, just in the nick of time, at the count of two!
The World Champion, Declan Turner, instinctively rises to his feet, beginning to kick and stomp at Casanova, who rolls out of the ring to safety. Chasing him out to the floor, Declan goes to whip him into the other steel steps. Before he can whip him, though; the launch gets reversed, and it's Casanova that whips Declan towards the steps.
Declan is wise, however. Before crashing into the steps, Declan leaps onto the steps and then jumps back, catching a charging Casanova with a leaping-back elbow. Up to his feet, he quickly rolls Casanova back inside, almost meeting disastrous consequences on the floor. Luckily, his own intuition paid off, enabling him to keep on the advantage.
Sliding inside, clubbing Casanova across the back of the head with a double axehandle smash, Declan lifts the Television Champ up and heaves him into the corner. In here, he strikes with an all-out attack of rapid-fire kicks, even backing up, only to run forward and nail the vampire with a flying double-knee attack!
Sitting Casanova on the top rope, Declan Turner strikes with a left haymaker, which he promptly follows with a leaping right-hand uppercut. Taking a few strides back, Declan is quick to scurry across the ring, headed straight towards Casanova, intent on not having to lose money to him. Rolling up the corner, Declan headscissors Casanova, rolling directly into a hurricanrana position. Instead of dropping back, he instead swings his body forward, grabs Casanova with a front-facelock and drops him back to the canvas, off the top rope, hitting the "Irish Rattlesnake"!
Taking his time, feeling as if he has the match done, Declan covers Casanova, even showing off a cocky smirk. He watches as the referee counts, firmly believing that he's the only person from his Vanity match to get the pinfall on Casanova.
...1...
First, Morgana fell to Casanova...
...2...
Then it was Stevie Swing...
...
And he still has the chance to defeat Declan, as he kicks out a nanosecond before the three-count is made!
Surprised, and showing signs of frustration, Declan Turner angrily slams his fists off the canvas, and then lifts Casanova up into a seated position. Striking him with various kicks and punches, each one of them a little stiffer than the previous, Declan stands back in amazement, watching as Casanova shrugs them off, rising to a kneeling position.
Stunned at Casanova's ability to get back up, Declan bounces off the ropes, returning with a running-boot to the face... which Casanova calmly deflects, not feeling any punishment whatsoever. With the fans rallying behind Casanova, Declan desperately lays some more punches and forearms, with Casanova shrugging them off, as if building energy from the crowd.
The more Casanova shrugs off the damage, the angrier Declan Turner gets. Using his right hand, he goes for a punch to the side of Casanova's head... but it gets blocked by Casanova's very own right arm. In retaliation, Casanova fires back with some punches of his own, which stuns Declan, who knock him against the ropes.
After delivering some forearms of his own, Casanova Irish-whips Declan across the ring and catches him on the rebound with a stern kick to the abdomen, which buckles Declan over. Bouncing off the adjacent set of ropes, he returns, going full-speed, using his left leg to kick into the temple of Declan, who is now absolutely dazed, partially in thanks to Casanova's "Vamping Out" session.
As Declan stumbles around, Casanova proceeds to knee him in the gut and then pull him into a standing-headscissors position. About to have his arms double-underhooked, Declan quickly pulls back, freeing himself, only to then deliver a kick of his own to Casanova, following it up with his own standing-headscissors.
Hoisting Casanova up into the air, Declan goes to give him a running-powerbomb, but has the Television Champ slip his way out of Declan's clutches, landing on his two feet behind him. Just as Declan turns around, Casanova greets him with a thunderous kick to the stomach, a kneelift and then positions him back into another standing-headscissors.
Again, Casanova double-underhooks Declan's arms; not granting Declan the ability to escape. A second or two later, he has him lifted upside-down, and then promptly drops him on his head, drilling him with a sit-down double-underhook piledriver!
Thinking victory is in the palm of his hand, Casanova rolls onto Declan, even hooking his left leg...
...1...2...
...
Declan is about to join the group consisting of Morgana and Stevie Swing, when he is able to pop his shoulder off the canvas -- just at the right time, too.
Not only is Casanova amazed with the kickout, but so are the fans. They hoot and holler, pouring all of their affection behind Casanova, who calmly lifts Declan Turner to his feet and blasts him with some chops, knocking him into the corner. Whipping Declan into the opposite set of turnbuckles, Casanova charges in, hoping to follow up on the attack, only to see Declan push himself over the top rope and land on the apron. Turning around, Declan notices Casanova charge in, opting to strike him with a Roundhouse Kick, using the middle rope to push himself up and gain leverage!
This kick blindsides Casanova, who stumbles back, holding his face, unaware of the attack that's about to follow. Hopping in over the ring, Declan Turner stalks up behind him, wraps both arms around the TV Champ's waist and then backdrop drivers him, dumping him squarely on his head!
From here, Declan quickly flows over, grabbing onto Casanova's right leg, kicking at it. Bending over, he goes to apply a single-leg Boston Crab, a move that he calls The Payback. Ironically, as he hunches over, this allows for Casanova to reach up and inside-cradle him!
Seeing this pinfall attempt, the referee makes the count...!
...1...
...2...
...
At approximately the same time, both men jump to their feet, amazed at the pinfall/kickout combination. They immediately charge at each other, with Casanova a little more dazed than Declan. This results in Declan ducking behind a clothesline attempt from the TV Champ, allowing him to waistlock him and then German-suplex him...
...and roll through, delivering a second German-suplex...
...and a third...
...and a fourth...
...and a fifth...
...and a sixth...
Rolling up for the seventh time, Declan uses another German-suplex, finishing off with a bridge, looking for a cover...
...1...
...2...
...
At exactly the right moment, Casanova rolls backward, stopping the count, despite his eyes rolling back in his head. Angered at this, Declan slaps his hands off the mat, for the second time tonight, and maintains his attack on Casanova, lifting him up to his feet.
Declan goes to strike Casanova, but he is struck with a shoulderblock to the gut, stopping him in his tracks. For the second time in the night, Casanova applies a Dragon Sleeper, looking to make Declan tap out. This time, however; Declan is able to lead Casanova into the turnbuckles, where he is able to climb up them and then flip over Casanova's shoulder, escaping the hold!
From behind, Declan pushes Casanova into the turnbuckle. Bouncing back, Casanova stumbles into a full-nelson from the World Champ, who quickly snaps him back, hitting a full-nelson suplex! Maintaining a bridge, he rolls both himself and Casanova up to his feet, swings Casanova around and then kicks him in the gut. In no time later, Declan comes crashing down across the back of his opponent's neck, hitting the Blood Money!
Sensing an ending, Declan rolls atop the Television Champion, hooking both of his legs down...
...1...2...
...
...3!
Thanks to this victory, Declan will not need to pay $10,000 to Casanova, nor does he fall in line with his fellow Vanity competitors. Standing to his feet, Declan relishes in his victory, holding his arm over his head, while jeers pour wildly in on him. He soon turns his attention back to Casanova, though.
He charges at Casanova, catching him with a running-knee to the head, keeping him grounded on the canvas, not letting him stand. At the same time, a long rope with a noose on the end is dropped from the basilica to the center of the ring. Declan wraps it around Casanova's neck as he pulls down on the pulley, raising Casanova high into the air. As Casanova kicks and struggles, Declan ties the rope off around a turnbuckle. Declan calls for a microphone and the arena instantly assaults him with chants and boos.
Declan Turner: Now I know my performance here hasn't been the greatest lately. And I realize why. I've been wrestling for all the wrong reasons. You see, at first, I thought it was for redemption. But after realizing otherwise, I didn't need to be saved, I turned my attention on you the fans. You needed to be saved from shitty wrestlers. But then you turned on me.
The arena ignites with boos and hisses.
Declan Turner: What, you faggots thought I wouldn't notice? I bled for Sin Wrestling when I was wet behind the ears. I picked and scratched my way through the ranks and it was never good enough. So, then I thought, maybe it's about taking over Sin itself and burning it to the ground, because if I couldn't have my way, then NO ONE can be anything here. Oh, Sin may have dodged a Holocaust, but we all know the truth; I'm a target not because I'm World Champion. I'm a target because I'm a threat to everyone on this roster.
Fans start to throw trash as Casanova limply kicks and shakes to free himself.
Declan Turner: I understand my purpose. I understand that on my WORST days, I'm STILL better then everyone at their peak. I understand that you value flash and dogma over hard work and determination. I understand that you arrogant, piece of shit, cocksucking, blue collar rodents are easily amused and entertained by shiny lights and backstage drama. So, Carson; here's the bottom line.
Declan slides out of the ring towards the announce table and lifts up a briefcase. Sliding back into the ring he clicks it open and waves around fistfuls of cash.
Declan Turner: Not only will I put my World Title on the line against Morgana and Stevie Swing, but as an added bonus, I'll throw in ONE MILLION DOLLARS of my own money. In a 60 Minute Triple Threat Iron Man Match! You wanted that match, Steve? Well, you've got it.
The crowd goes into instant insanity, cheering for both Morgana and Stevie Swing.
Declan Turner: This isn't about respect, title reigns, or even this cash. It's about understanding that when you get up in the morning and go to sleep at night, you'll know that at the end of the day, no matter what the circumstance, no matter what the title, no matter the wins or the losses, you'll KNOW that I am still King of the Mountain. That I am and forever will be The New American Empire. Next week; it's the beginning of the end.
Declan smiles as he closes up the briefcase. As he walks past a turnbuckle, he kicks out at it. A small knife protrudes from the front toe of the boot, slicing the rope, sending Casanova to collapse in a heap in the center of the ring. Dropping the mic, he smirks to the collapsed body and makes his way towards the back.
Winner: Declan Turner
The camera opens in the back, showing Zimdela Brudon standing in front of a mini-television set. He is shaking his head, watching Casanova's loss and subsequent near-hanging. Disgusted, he tears off the television and goes to walk away.
Zimdela Brudon: Tut... tut... tut... what did I say?
Before he walks off, he is greeted by a half-dozen prostitutes dressed as nuns. They gather 'round him, while other members of the Vatican look on, not liking what they see.
Daycare of Doom Match
All My Life I been searching for something...
Something never comes, never leads to nothing...
Nothing satisfies, but I'm gettin close...
Closer to the prize at the end of the rope
The words MADE FOR TV appear on the screen as the lights in the arena slowly began to dim and "All My Life" by the Foo Fighters progresses on. An array of baby blue lasers shoot into various directions, moving about, in time with the rhythm of the music.
As the song drops in, explosions go off, as Sebastian York makes his way to the top of the ramp, rocking out to the music. He hops up and down atop the ramp before bursting into a full sprint towards the ring.
Sliding into the ring, he pops up onto his feet and lifts both of his hands into the air, drawing a huge pop from the crowd as pyro shoots into the air from the each corner. As the pyro display dies down, Sebastian nods to the referee and waits for his match to begin.
The lights dim into a bloody red glow, then throb to life with a guitar riff like an alarm. Pyro fires off in red flares. As the song evolves into a rhythmic drumbeat and bass line, a haunted version of Queens of the Stone Age’s "Sick, Sick, Sick", Chris Carson comes out with a purpose, but all signs of the once-proud S.O.S. logo are gone for now. Carson jaws with the audience, then slides slowly into the ring. The lights go completely red, bathing Carson in electric blood, and instead of acknowledging the crowd, Carson merely leans against the ropes to wait for his opponent to enter.
As the bell rings, Carson and York lock up in the center of the ring. York suddenly wraps his hands around Carson's head and drops to his knees with a jawbreaker. Carson reels back, not expecting the shot, and York capitalizes with a kick to the gut - into a snapmare - and then into a leg drop!
York with the quick cover...
...
Carson pushes out easily, even forcefully before the ref can even get the one count!
The crowd pops at the energy between the two rivals, as Carson smirks, wiping a small streak of blood from his mouth. York, ever determined, as his arms out as sides, leering and ready to strike.
The two men tie-up in the middle of the ring once again, this time Carson stepping to the side and intertwining his leg with York's, delivering a face-first Russian Legsweep!
Without letting up, Carson stands and lays repeated shots to York's ribs by way of some huge power stomps! Carson kicks York square in the face, flipping him over onto his back and goes in for the cover...
...1...!
York kicks out, as Carson leads him back up to his feet.
Next, York delivers some hard gut punches, trying to shake Carson off of him, which works marvelously. Carson releases andthey begin to battle back and forth, trading left and right haymakers. Carson with a huge right hook, but York ducks it! As a result, York leaps upwards and catches Carson's head in his hands on the fall back, delivering a falling neckbreaker!
Carson, who still looks great this early, snaps back up, a little bit faster than York who's still nursing those ribs. Tangled up once again, Carson strikes with a kick to the stomach, whilst holding onto one of York's arms, hyper-extending the anterior and pectoral muscles. Soon, he pulls him up, with York with his head down. Placing his right leg behind Sebastian's neck, Carson leaps up, delivering a legdrop behind-the-head, smashing York's face into the mat!
He rolls onto Sebastian, even hooking a leg...
...1...2...
However, York kicks out in time!
Pissed, Chris Carson raises York up by his hair... only to be on the receiving end of a headbutt-to-the-dick from Sebastian!
Trying to swing thing in his favour, Sebastian delivers some boot shots to Carson's midsection, working him back into the corner, yet still clutching his own ribs. After receiving a series of rapid stomps, Carson is drooling saliva and blood, making York back up, wanting to admire this fact. He doesn't back away for long, though. In a matter of seconds, Sebastian York speeds forward and delivers a hard-hitting running-knee into the corner, jamming "The Creep" in the face!
Backing up again, letting "The Creep" stand, Sebastian continues to admire what he's done, wanting "The Creep" dressed as a baby for their matchup at Vanity. Stumbling to the outer part of the apron, Chris Carson turns around... only to see Sebastian York charge toward him!
Seeing this, Carson drops down, pulling rope down with him! However, York also sees the changes and spears "The Creep" into the outside guardrail through the ropes! This collision results in both men exploding onto the floor, landing in a heap against the railing.
The ref starts the count, willing to count both men out...
...1...2...3...4...
York groggily tries to stand and stumbles to the apron, trying to break the count. After him, Carson is on his feet... and he runs at York with a huge clothesline, dropping him hard onto the floor, landing awkwardly!
Taking a minute to catch his breath, Chris Carson leans against the steel steps, but York is relentless. He is right back up and marching towards "The Creep", shrugging off the prior damage...
...7...8...
Carson dives back into the ring, breaking the count, taunting York to get back in the ring.
In the meantime, a wide cut has formed on York's forehead and blood cascades freely from the wound. The determination in York's face is unquestionable as he dives into the ring, after Carson, bounding to his feet and fighting off Carson's attacks. Soon enough, the wrestling match develops into a boxing match -- with both men exchanging various punches.
No forearms.
No open-handed slaps.
Bare-knuckles busting across each other's faces.
And the crowd eats it up!
Back and forth they go, until York pounces on Carson! Thanks to this, Carson falls back and York is on top of him, punching furiously away.
Carson twists his body, grabs onto York's leg with his arms and twists, performing a leglock on York, locking it in deep! York is in a mountain of trouble with the ropes too far to reach!
Unable to escape the hold, Sebastian York has no other choice but to unloads some punches onto "The Creep"'s arm, until the hold is released. This makes Chris Carson release the hold, allowing them both to slowly climb to their, standing at the exact same time.
Carson charges at York...
York ducks!
Carson bounes off the ropes! He hits a side-swinging neckbreaker on his return!
He suddenly raises a finger to his lips and mimics twisting on a silencer to an imaginary gun. This lapse in concentration proves to be lethal, though; as he momentarily feels himself lifted off the ground!
York has him up in the air, holding him in a Torture Rack! He then swings "The Creep" out, catching him on the way down with a falling-neckbreaker, completing his move entitled the "MAde For TV"!
With the fans firmly behind him, Sebastian rolls Chris Carson up...
The referee counts...
...1...2...
...
...3!
Sebastian York has beaten Chris Carson, who is now livid!
York slides out of the ring, laughing and pointing at Chris Carson, who shakes the ropes in anger. Screaming at the top of his lungs, Carson's disappointment is apparent as he constantly repeats the words "fool-proof" and "bullshit" over and over.
His plan has back-fired and it will be "The Creep" that has to dress like a baby at Vanity.
Winner: Sebastian York
Beep... beep... bloop...
We see Corey Page sitting in his office, playing Tetris on his laptop, really embroiled with the game. Suddenly, there's a knock on his door, which is then promptly pushed open, revealing the form of "Super Ref"!
Super Ref: NEVER FEAR... SUPER REF IS HERE!
Corey Page: Son of a whore! I was almost going to beat my all-time best score! I hope you have a good reason for this.
Super Ref: Yes, you have a pay per view coming up Commish-in-or, Page; and you need a ref that has... say... super powers to ref this threeway World Title match.
Corey Page: True, but I don’t know...
Super Ref: I am SUPER REF! So, you know I have super powers.
Corey Page: I still don’t know. Can you shoot lasers out of your eyes? Perhaps read my mind.
Super Ref thinks for a bit.
Super Ref: What if I say I found you a new secretary.
Corey Page: I don’t know; Besty is almost irreplaceable.
Super Ref: Just a second.
Super Ref dashes outside the office and then returns with another goat, which almost looks like Betsy.
Super Ref: Meet Kiki The Goat.
Corey Page: Whoa.
Super Ref: She is just as good as Betsy; not to mention she is Betsy’s sister.
Corey Page: She has a sister?
Corey shakes his head.
Corey Page: Actually, nevermind... you got a deal!
Super Ref: All the little refs out there thank you. Oh, two more things...
Corey Page: Hmmm...?
Super Ref: I think that meth-addicted meanie, Andrew Hurley should face that laughable, lovable, handsome guy that is Chris Staggs at Vanity. One-on-one... get it done!
Corey Page: Good idea. Next?
Super Ref: Secondly... I might as well ref the match tonight. FO SHO?!
Corey Page: Yeah, yeah. That's fine.
Super Ref: FO SHO?!
...
Corey Page: FO SHO!
Super Ref: FO SHO!
Corey Page gets up and goes to pet Kiki The Goat, as Super Ref jumps in the air to fly away. A crash is heard, following with Corey Page closing the door to his office.
Corey Page: Back to my game. Thank Jesus.
Just then, a light angrily shines down on Corey Page.
Corey Page: Sorry, sorry.
He sits back down, playing Tetris, as the image fades out.
As Zimdela Brudon walks by with his gaggle of prostitutes, someone else is busy in choosing their escorts/vices for tonight. That person, of course, is Generic Heel, who is surrounded by a bunch of whores.
Generic Heel: I want you... no, wait, I want you...
Generic Heel randomly picks out various whores from within the circle.
Generic Heel: No, wait, I'll have all of you. Climb aboard.
Generic Heel directs everyone to his wheelbarrow, letting all the lascivious ladies climb aboard. He wheels them off and is about to exit the Vatican with them, even passing some sort of metallic machine that is fuming lots of smoke.
Generic Heel: Huh?
This door on this metallice object opens up and out rolls a flamboyantly French man.
Gaspard: Oui, oui, oui. Am I here? Did I make it, monsieur?!
Generic Heel: What the biscuit?
Gaspard: What year is this?!
Generic Heel: Uh... 2008.
Gaspard: Oh mondieu! My name is Gaspard! I come from the year 2542! I travel back in time to stop la dragon from destroying my time. I come here to save everyone and... oh my god, such beautiful womens.
Confused, Generic Heel has no idea how to react.
Generic Heel: Yeah... well, you can't have them. They're mine.
Gaspard: But I am from le future!
Generic Heel: Future, eh?
Generic Heel kicks the apparent time machine.
Generic Heel: That's what I think of the future!
...It begins sputtering and acting crazy.
Gaspard: Oh no! Oh non... non... non! Tu es stupide! You broke my machine! You broke my machine!
Generic Heel: Oops?
Picking up his wheelbarrow of whores, Generic Heel walks off, leaving the apparent time traveler named Gaspard behind, stuck in the past.
Gaspard: Non!
The image fades out, last showing Gaspard hugging his machine, trying to fix it.
Backstage, we see Stevie Swing turning a corner, only to run into Chris Staggs Super Ref.
Stevie Swing: Watch where you’re going, Chuck.
Super Ref: Chuck?
Stevie Swing: You honestly expect me to know your name on a week-to-week basis?
Super Ref: FO SHO... I mean... I’m Super Ref!
Stevie Swing: Oh, that faggot who got involved in the Bloodlust match last week?
Super Ref: And president of the Stevie Swing Fan Club!
Stevie Swing: I have a fan club?
Super Ref: And I’m the president!
Stevie Swing: Why aren’t I seeing any money from this?
Super Ref: Because the members are just kids and I don’t want to charge them.
Stevie Swing: Cute, but Chris...
Super Ref: Super Ref...
Stevie Swing: I’m not calling you that.
Super Ref: C’mon!
Stevie Swing: Fuck no. Chris, I’m a Jew. I’m a fucking Jewish princess. I don’t come cheaply. If I don’t see any money from the Stevie Swing Fan Club, it ain’t a Fan Club of mine, you get my drift?
Super Ref: But the children!
Stevie Swing: Will pay, because kids will give money to anybody. Besides, without the money, how are you going to lure me into your super secret Refcave for some private time?
Stevie advances on Chris Staggs Super Ref and presses herself against him. She presents her neck to him, and he takes a whiff. His boner touches Stevie’s leg, and she cringes.
Super Ref: R-r-r-refcave?
Stevie Swing: Mmmmmm...where else would we have our fun?
Stevie nibbles on Chris Staggs Super Ref’s ear.
Super Ref: I h-h-h-have a p-p-p-panel van.
Stevie Swing: Oh? I used to live in one of those.
Chris Staggs Super Ref gets a funny look on his face. Stevie backs away, startled, then looks at his pants.
Stevie Swing: Jesus... you just came.
Super Ref: No! That’s Creamed Wheat.
Stevie Swing: Fucking disgusting!
Super Ref: Stevie, no, I-
Chris Staggs Super Ref is interrupted with a knee to the groin. He goes down to the ground hard, and in need of fresh pants.
Stevie Swing: And I still want the money from the fan club! Christ, you try to set a guy up for ball trauma, then they up and cum on your leg.
Stevie storms off to prepare for her match with Morgana. Chris Staggs Super Ref lies their, not wanting to touch his sticky man parts, but in a whole lot of pain.
Super Ref: I... I can't believe she touched me... in the testicles, no less. I'm in love.
The image fades out, showing Super Ref grimacing, putting his testicles back together and then dancing his way to the entrance.
Dumpster Match
Darkness cockslaps the arena. “Chick Habit” by April March pumps through the P.A., and a spotlight shines on a pink glass and tissue paper structure that is not unlike…a vagina. There’s a silhouette of a woman on the pink paper, and an image of the one and only Stevie Swing on screen.
Stevie Swing bursts through the vagina to deafening cheers, the people in the audience going apeshit for the Dancing KingQueen. That sounds gay. Stevie dances around as fireworks explode all over the stage (gotta have fireworks), showing off her figure. She dances on down to the ring and rolls in, where more fireworks go off, much to the delight of the crowd.
The arena unexpectedly descends into total darkness, sparking the crowd into an expectant frenzy. After a long moment of anticipation, "Piece of Me (Remix)" by Britney Spears pulses through the sound system, accompanied by an image of Morgana in all of her pink-haired glory, which overtakes the screen.
The crowd cheers at nearly deafening decibels as hot pink and gold fireworks explode down the ramp, prompting Morgana to saunters out from backstage. Wearing a miniscule pink and black skort, black fishnets, knee-high boots and a tight black tank top, her long hair pulled into two loose braids, Morgy slowly makes her way toward the ring, blowing kisses to fans in the front row as she does so, her every step accompanied by another explosion of fireworks.
i'm miss lifestyles of the rich and famous
i'm miss oh my god, that morgy's shameless
i'm miss extra, extra, this just in
i'm miss she's too big now she's too thin
Basking in the cheers of the crowd, Morgy pauses on the apron before grasping the top rope and flipping gracefully into the ring. "Piece of Me (Remix)" dies abruptly over the speakers as Morgy parades confidently around the ring, waiting for the match to begin.
When both ladies are inside of the ring, they watch the dumpster wheeled to the ringside area, which they will have to dump the other in. They must them close the door to the dumpster, essentially trapping the loser inside with all of the filth.
They are about to lock-up, when everyone's attention turns towards the entrance. Passing through the curtain, wearing a mask, striped-referee t-shirt and a pinstriped cape is the entity known as "Super Ref". This person, whom many expect to be Chris Staggs, does a little dance at the top of the entrance and then rushes to the ring, informing the current referee that he is taking over things.
The prior referee oddly shakes his head and shoulders, but soon allows Super Ref to take his place. He waves at Stevie Swing, who rolls her eyes, wishing to get things started. Super Ref calls for the bell and signals for the match to commence.
Gingerly, both women step toward each other, with Stevie Swing offering a handshake. Opposite of her, Morgana stands, not quite sure what to do. She looks around at the fans and at Super Ref, who is giving her the thumbs-up signal. After some deep thinking, she reaches out and accepts the handshake, much to the joy of the crowd and Super Ref, who cheers them on.
When they're ready, they motion toward each other, with Stevie Swing starting things off with a wristlock on Morgana. Despite the sudden jolt through her arm, Morgy rolls forward, escaping the hold, sweeps Stevie off her feet with a kick to the legs and then goes to hit a standing Shooting Star Press onto her.
Ultimately, Stevie Swing rolls out of the way, with Morgana being well aware of this, thus landing on her own two feet. Just as she lands, Stevie tries to knock her off her feet with a legsweep of her own, but she sees this coming, allowing her to leapfrog over this attack.
As soon as Stevie pops up, fresh off missing the legsweep, she is armdragged by Morgana... only to jump right up again... and, in return, armdrag Morgana. This succession of armdrags continues twice more, with Morgana finally trying to hip-toss Stevie, only to receive a slight knee to the gut from Stevie, who instantly spins Morgy around, trying for a backslide cover...
...only to have Super Ref tap her on the abdomen, reminding her that pinfalls are not eligible -- you have to stuff your opponent in the dumpster.
Releasing the bridge attempt, Stevie slaps her palm off the canvas and stands to her feet. She goes to lift Morgy up, but Morgy double-legsweeps Stevie off her legs and goes for a jackknife-pinfall of her own...
Yet again, Chris Staggs "Super Ref" has to tap someone, reminding them that pinfalls don't count. Nevertheless, Morgy proceeds to her feet, taking Stevie up with her. Knocking her against the ropes, she whips Stevie Swing out, drops down onto her stomach, allows Stevie to jump over her and head to the next set of ropes. Upon Stevie's return, Morgy jumps up, leapfrogs over her, lands on her feet and then rolls backward, just as Stevie bounces back.
Upon her return, Stevie runs right into a backwards-rolling headscissors, which Morgy traverses onto her palms, using her hands to spin herself around, flinging Stevie across the ring with a headscissors takedown. Looking for refuge, Stevie rolls to the outer portion of the apron, but soon notices Morgana running at her.
Morgana tries for a running-forearm to Stevie Swing's face, but Stevie ducks down, enabling herself to strike Morgy in the gut with a shoulderblock. On top of this, she latches onto Morgana, appearing to try a suplex attempt. Upon realizing the dumpster is just a few feet away, Stevie pulls her towards it and tries to suplex her into it.
Morgana will have none of that, though.
As Stevie Swing goes to lift her up, Morgana blocks the attempt by wrapping her left leg around the middle rope, blocking the momentum. Instead, she slaps herself away from Stevie, steps back and then strides forward, connecting with a dropkick! This dropkick not only knocks Stevie Swing off the apron, but also drops her into the dumpster!
Horrified at this turn of events, Super Ref looks on, not knowing what to do. Morgana, on the other hand, goes to exit the ring, wishing to close the dumpster cover, but stops when she notices Stevie Swing emerge from inside.
Covered in filth such as a thrown-out McDonalds bag and some lettuce, Stevie brushes herself off, almost sickened with the smell. Unfortunately, Morgana takes advantage of her current positioning.
From inside of the ring, Morgana bounces off the furthest set of ropes and storms out. With grace, she impressively leaps over the next set of ropes, crash-landing onto Stevie Swing with a suicide dive, sending them both into the dumpster!
The fans are in a fury, with both ladies rising from inside at the exact same time. With the dumpster, they begin slapping and chopping away at each other, with Stevie Swing eventually outlasting Morgana with some shots. After this, Stevie backdrops Morgana from inside of the dumpster -- on top of all the garbage -- to the floor!
Having hit the floor with a thud, Morgana lays parallel to the dumpster, which Stevie Swing climbs onto the edge of. With her back turned to Morgy, Stevie leaps off, looking for a moonsault from the dumpster -- onto Morgy, who is prone on the floor, which she successfully lands!
Lifting her friend and current opponent up, Stevie rolls her back inside the ring and climbs up on the apron. Stepping inside, Stevie lifts Morgy up, snap mares her back down and then bounces off the set of ropes that are behind Morgy. When the time is right, Stevie bounces ahead, proceeding to hit a rolling snap-mare onto the pink-haired former World Champ.
Receiving praise from the Super Ref, Stevie Swing stands to her feet, grabs both of Morgy's arms and drags her towards the ring ropes. Pulling her halfway in-and-out of the ring, she jumps back onto the apron and uses the middle rope to propel herself into the air. Springing back, Stevie opens her leg, guillotining it across Morgana's throat, nearly lobbing off her head, as she lays across the edge of the apron!
Rolling back inside, Stevie now grabs both of Morgana's legs, as she remains halfway hung out of the ring, holding her neck/throat region. With Morgy's legs tucked beneath her armpits, Stevie drops backward, attempting a slingshot, only to guillotine her neck/throat across the bottom rope, hoping to cut off her air supply.
Following this, Stevie yanks her back into the ring and positions her parallel to one of the corners. Springing to the top rope, wasting little time, Stevie turns around and faces Morgana. Taking a deep breath, Stevie Swing rockets herself off the top rope, hoping to land a frog-splash... but Morgy moves at the last second!
Crashing into the canvas, Stevie Swing gains a faceful of ring canvas, forcing her to roll over, holding her face, in obvious pain. On the other side of the ring, Morgana uses the ropes to aide her in standing up. Running across the ring, Morgy tries to kick at Stevie, using the flat part of her foot, while she is on her knees.
Aware of this, Stevie Swing blocks the shot with both of her hands, resulting in Morgy hopping on one foot. Morgy swats at Stevie, trying to connect with a punch or a slap, but to no avail. Her only option is to use Stevie Swing as a platform. Pushing herself off her hands, she uses her right foot to place onto Stevie's right shoulder and then backflip off, landing on her feet!
However, the second she lands, Stevie Swing threatens to strike with The Last Dance superkick, which makes Morgana flinch. Stepping back, Stevie Swing chuckles at Morgana's expense, opting not to hit it, afterall.
Morgana picks up on this as gloating, prompting her to swiftly slap Stevie across the cheek, snapping her head back. Before Stevie can even utter a response to this, Morgana goes on the attack, much to the chagrin of the Super Ref.
Battering Stevie with some forearms, she knocks her opponent against the ropes and whips her out. Upon Stevie's return, Morgy leaps into the air, wraps both legs around her head and hurricanranas her, sending her rolling into the corner. The moment Stevie plucks herself back up, Morgana torpedoes into the corner, launching herself at Stevie, hitting her in the chest with a John Woo Kick!
The force of this maneuver is enough to send Stevie Swing rocketing against the turnbuckle pads, snapping her head back and then faceplanting. Not giving Stevie a moment to rest, Morgana picks her back up, kicks her in the gut and then bounces off the ropes. On her way back, she tilt-a-whirls around Stevie, making 2 complete rotations, finishing off with a 3/4-face cutter on Stevie!
The fans in the Vatican are split 50/50, except for Super Ref, who is firmly behind Stevie, wanting her to rise to her feet. Ironically, Morgana wants Stevie to rise, as well. Once she does, Morgy charges forward, looking to clothesline her over the top rope -- and into the dumpster. Except, just as she's about to hit the move, Super Ref pulls Stevie Swing away from the attack, resulting in Morgy springing off the ropes. This gives Stevie Swing the perfect chance to try and swing things to her momentum.
As Morgana rebounds off the ropes, Stevie Swing catches her with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker, dropping her back-first across her knee. Quite aware of the problems with her back, Stevie Swing immediately begins to exploit it, not really caring about their friendship.
Striking with a flurry of repeated knees to the spine, Stevie opts to jab her knee into Morgy's back, while grabbing onto her left leg, literally bending her backward, her back almost cracking in two. Adding in even more pressure, Stevie uses his right hand to latch oto her chin, yanking back even harder, listening to the shouts of pain coming from Morgana.
When Stevie finishes his hold on Morgana, she releases her, dropping her on her face. She goes to stand, with Super Ref even helping her up, something which is not often seen from referees. Stevie lifts Morgy up, snap-suplexes her and starts kicking her in the ribs, rolling her towards the section of the dumpster.
She stands Morgy on the outer part of the apron, climbing out alongside her, trying to knock her in. Unfortunately for Stevie, Morgy holds onto the top rope, halting the attempt before it can even begin. It isn't until Stevie strikes her with a blazing elbow to the head, that she can Russian legsweep her into the dumpster, much to the delight of Chris Staggs Super Ref, who even aides Stevie in trying to put down the cover.
It's not like Stevie wants the help, though; as she calmly goes to place the lid down, which would give her the victory. However, before the cover is positioned, Morgana uses both hands to push upward, blocking it from closing!
Morgana's rans rally behind her, as she pushes her way to her feet, eventually popping the cover of the dumpster wide open. Stevie Swing, who had been shoved aside due to this uprising, climbs onto the side of the apron, trying to stuff Morgy back inside, but it's all no good. Her attempts are thwarted, thanks to a damaged and crippled Morgana fighting back, striking her acquaintance with a flurry of forearms and punches!
As Stevie remains on the side of the dumpster, Morgy slaps her across the face and then kicks her in the face, making her fall slightly backward. Fortunately for Stevie, her hands remain on the side of the dumpster, meaning she is left hanging there, but not for long, according to Morgana's plans.
Leaping onto the side of the dumpster, sending garbage and random trash everywhere, Morgana soars off, tucking her knees up to her chest. On her way down, she kicks her feet down, jabbing them both into Stevie Swing's chest, knocking him fully off the dumpster, sending him down to the floor with a flying doublestomp off the dumpster, splattering Stevie into the ground!
Once momentum swings back in Morgy's favour, Super Ref tries to get in her face, reminding her to bring the match back in the ring, which she doesn't acknowledge. Alternatively, she steps away from Chris Staggs Super Ref, who angrily throws his arms up, not knowing what else to do, watching as Morgy lifts Stevie up.
The fans continue to be 50/50% in the favour of both women, with cheers pouring in from both sides of the fence. When Morgana gently rolls Stevie back inside, she leaps up onto the apron and then ascends to the top turnbuckle pad, waiting for Stevie to rise. Before she can fly, Super Ref jumps back onto the ring apron, "accidentally" shaking the ropes, which knocks Morgana off-balance, resulting in her falling to the canvas, only to drop right into a dropkick from Stevie Swing!
Having things almost turned back in her favour, Stevie lifts Morgy up, kicks her in the back and then harshly whips her into the turnbuckle pads, where her lower back hits without compassion. To further the damage, Stevie turns Morgy around, forcing her to face the turnbuckles, climbs to the middle pad and begins stomping her back. When she's finished, she grabs Morgy, turns her around and then snap-suplexes her upside-down and into the corner!
It's Stevie Swing's fans that get into the action, now. Cheering for her, wanting her to finally earn a victory over Morgana -- something that has tried to do twice, but failed both times. They egg her on, as she lifts Morgy up by the tuft of her hair, only to then strike her with a forearm to the kidneys.
Scooping Morgy up, Stevie drops her on her back, rolls her onto her stomach and then steps to the outer part of the ring. Using the top rope, she springboards herself through the air, placing both of her knees together, coming down with a double-kneedrop onto Morgana's back, creating a torrent of pain shocking through her body!
Rolling up, Stevie calls for a second double-kneedrop, with Super Ref cheering her on, as she climbs motions to the outside. Again, she springboards off the top rope, tucking both of her knees together, but this time Morgy is alert, aware and prepared.
At the perfect time, Morgy rolls to her right, getting out of harm's way. Therefore, Stevie Swing smashes knee-first onto the canvas, letting out a slight yelp from her throat, as Morgy manages to slowly pull herself back together. Crawling to the edge of the ring nearest to the dumpster, Morgy pulls herself up with the top rope and turns out, baring witness to Stevie Swing charging at her.
With survival on her mind, Morgana ducks down, backdropping Stevie from inside of the ring -- to the outside -- and into the dumpster!
Rolling to the floor, she instantly takes advantage of this mistake from Stevie, momentarily closing the top of the dumpster. Before she can fully shut the lid, though; Chris Staggs Super Ref jumps to the floor and places his hands on the edge of the dumpster. As a result, his fingers squish between the edge and the lid -- but saving Stevie Swing, in the process!
Absolutely disgruntled at "Super Ref"'s interference, Morgana picks up the cover, only to slam it back down again, perhaps breaking Chris Staggs' Super Ref's fingers. Nonetheless, this has allowed for Stevie Swing to rise inside of the dumpster, trying to make her way out.
From inside, Stevie has found a trash lid. Popping out of the dumpster, she whacks the lid across Morgy's head, catching her by complete surprise! Thanks to this, Morgy drops to her knees, while Stevie tries to make herself look innocent -- even tossing the lid back inside of the dumpster.
Clearing the cobwebs out of her head, Morgana slowly stirs, trying to roll back into the ring, hoping to find the farthest place from the dumpster. Immediately following her is Stevie Swing, wanting to put Morgy in that dumpster, thus ending the match made by Chris Carson.
Her only idea is to use the top rope as a springboard, again. On the outer portion of the apron, Stevie watches as Morgana slowly begins to rise. When she feels the time is right, she goes to spring off the top rope... only to have Morgana swing around, see the attempt and charge in at her, delivering a dropkick!
This dropkick has enough force to send Stevie flying backwards, making her land in the trash inside of the dumpster! Morgana goes to follow this attack with a plancha over the top rope; but just as she goes to jump, Stevie pops up, wielding the same trash lid and throws it at Morgana's head, striking her while she is in mid-air!
This shot comprimses Morgana's leap, resulting in her being hung out to dry on the top rope! Capitalizing on this, Stevie crawls out of the dumpster, gets on the apron and hooks her for a suplex. Instead of simply suplexing her off the apron, she climbs onto the middle rope, adding extra height. She then superplexex Morgana to the outside -- sending them both crashing into the dumpster!
The fans start up another huge chant, with an equal proportion of fans on both side. The first person to remove themselves from the dumpster and close the lid on their opponent will be officially named the winner by Super Ref, who is actually aiding Stevie in trying to get out of the bin.
Not liking this assistance, she pushes him off, allowing herself to climb out of the dumpster and then spill harshly onto the floor. On the other side of things, Morgana also lifts herself up, holding her back, and sliding into the ring, in a considerable amount of pain.
The Super Ref, who seems shocked at Stevie's insistance of no help, can only watch as a dizzy Stevie Swing lifts herself up to her feet. She then climbs onto the side of the apron, trying her best to get to a standing position. Seeing Morgana in a daze in the ring, still holding her back, she decides to climb to the top rope of the adjacent corner.
But Morgana realizes this.
Out of the corner of her eye, Morgana notices Stevie climb to the top turnbuckle, knowing that she must move now. Shrugging the pain in her back away, she charges into the corner and catches Stevie with a climbing-enziguiri, crotching her on the top rope! Standing right back up, Morgana climbs up alongside Stevie and applies a 3/4 facelock and points at the dumpster, apparently aiming for a "Fata Morgana" off the top rope -- and into the dumpster!
With Stevie's head throttled over her arm/shoulders, Morgana jumps up, trying to hit her move -- The Fata Morgana -- only to have Stevie use her hands to hang tightly onto the top rope! Fortunately for Morgy, she is able to make a complete backflip and land safely on the outer portion of the apron, keeping her balance just above the dumpster.
Unfortunately, this miscalculation allows for Stevie Swing to jump off the top rope and land in the ring, standing in front of her. Without a second thought, Stevie Swing strikes Morgana with The Last Dance superkick, knocking her off the apron, dropping her into the dumpster!
Sensing victory has neared, Stevie rolls to the outside, grabs the dumpster's cover and slams it shut! Chris Staggs The Super Ref officially calls for the bell, happily giving the victory to Stevie Swing!
Just as the bell sounds, The Super Ref hugs Stevie Swing, lifting her joyously in the air, parading her around the ring -- thankful for her first victory against Morgana. Stevie Swing struggles to let go, but "The Super Ref" holds on far too tight; and thus the final image of the night is that of the dumpster, with Morgana trapped inside -- all thanks to Stevie Swing.
Winner: Stevie Swing