Dark Match

Booger vs. Stevie Swing

The bell rings and Stevie Swing does all that he possibly can to avoid Booger's disgusting grasp, even slipping andsliding between Booger's legs, not allowing him to touch him, whatsoever. Unfdrtunately for Stevie, as he tries to crawl between Booger's legs one last time, Booger reaches down, grabs onto Stevie's hair and pulls him to his feet, where he unleashes a vicious punch to Stevie's chest, which Stevie sells as if he has been shot.

This action continues, with Stevie overselling Booger's punches and kicks, desperately trying to avoid being touched. Eventually, Booger places him against the ring corner, where he is about to stick his stinky arsehole in Stevie's face. However, before Stevie can stick his behind into Stevie's face, Stevie rolls out of the way, resulting in Booger's crashing into the corner, almost moving the entire ring.

From here, Stevie quickly takes control of the match, much to the delight of the fans. As Booger stumbles out of the corner, he waddles directly into a superkick from Stevie Swing, which he calls The Last Dance. As a result, Booger crashes to the canvas like a ton of bricks. Not wanting to press his body against Booger, Stevie decides to gingerly place his left foot over Booger's belly, getting the cover.

...1...2...3!

Having his hand raised by the referee, Stevie Swing quickly pulls away and walks to the back, proud of his first Sin Wrestling victory, even though it comes against a giant mass of chocolate, snot and fat.

Winner: Stevie Swing

Lights...

Camera...

ACTION!

The camera turns on, showing the outside of an abandon warehouse. A ruckus is heard as several fans are shown entering the building, looking aggressive and waiting for a night of action. As they jam inside, the camera view then switches to the inside, where several spotlights hang from the top of the warehouse, giving a doomy glow, with one spotlight shining directly at the ring that is situated in the center of the building.

On the floor, there is no ringside barrier to hold fans back, which allows several fans to stand close to the ring, watching as a referee arrives from a nearby door, which he shuts behind himself. He struts to the ring, while an announcer also gets inside, preparing to announce tonight's action. Finally, the camera shifts to Lex Robinson and Ace Rodgers, who are both seated behind a table, ready to call tonight's action.

Lex Robinson: 3 years down, and Sin Wrestling is embarking on its 4th year! You heard it, folks, we're back!

Steve Hebert: And, uh, we're sitting on a stool... without a desk... and, uh, only on a stool.

Lex Robinson: What better way to call the action?! What better way to start the night? Considering we're in a run-down, old warehouse, I think this is all we're gonna get, Steve. We'll have to appreciate what little we have.

Steve Hebert: Just like those starving kids in Africa, eh?

Lex Robinson: I guess you could think of it that way. Besides, you have no one to blame except for Chris Extreme, the same guy whom you so highly praise. This is what we get for having him burn down one of our arenas. As a result, we no longer have an "in-arena" license.

Steve Hebert: Aw, shucks. Well, he's still a good fellow.

Lex Robinson: Right. In any event, "The Next Wave" is here!

Steve Hebert: What a cliche name.

Lex Robinson: I know, right? And Morgana, the World Champion, is in the ring...

Steve Hebert: I think she has something to say.

Lex Robinson: You think?

Standing inside of the ring, Morgana's lips purse, as she holds the microphone up to her mouth, hushing herself for a few seconds, taking time to listen to the several hundred fans in the building chant her name. When the raucous dies down, she confidently nods her head and begins speaking into the microphone.

Morgana: I know you've all noticed that something is missing.

Lex Robinson: Hmm... she's got a point. Where is the Lust Title?

Steve Hebert: Who cares?

Morgana: Well, let's just say that I'm being forced to drop the Lust Title, which means that later tonight, a new Lust Champion will be crowned. Surely, they'll be up to the caliber as me.

A ring attendant steps over to the ring, capturing Morgy's attention. She walks to the side of the ring, hunches over and allows him to whisper into her ear.

Morgana: Huh? What's that? Konstantin Bryzgalov... Pain... Paradox... David Cage... Uh huh... I see.

She then stands back up and returns to the center portion of the ring.

Morgana: I'd like to have my last comment stricken from the record.

Steve Hebert: Hah!

Lex Robinson: I'm sure those four will keep competition stiff.

Steve Hebert: Trust me, I'm stiffer than that competition.

Lex Robinson: Well then!

Morgana: But yes, I've vacated the Lust Title. But onto more pressing matters: such as what is inside of this bundle of cloth!

Standing around the trashcan, Morgana continues to speak.

Morgana: Well, let's just see!

Steve Hebert: What the heck is it?

Before she can unwrap what's inside, though, she stops.

Morgana: But fiiiiiirst...

She then does the unthinkable. She un-straps the World Title from around her shoulder and then slings it inside of the trashcan, shocking everyone in attendance.

Lex Robinson: What the hell?

Steve Hebert: Eh, it's the perfect spot for it!

Lex Robinson: No, really, what the hell?

The microphone is brought back up to her mouth.

Morgana: From here on out, the "World Title curse" is no more.

Lex Robinson: Ooooohhh... I think I know what she's getting at.

Morgana: The curse which has plagued so many people has now been put to rest. Tonight, I...

Before she can continue, her attention is swung towards the entrance, where a large rabbit is shown, as he walks towards the ring.

Steve Hebert: Holy balls! It's the Easter Bunny! The Easter Bunny has surpassed Jesus on this fine Easter night!

Lex Robinson: Jesus may have re-risen, but the Easter Bunny has eggs.

Steve Hebert: Chocolate-filled eggs. And that's what is important on this fine day -- eating chocolate, that is.

Lex Robinson: This is quite possibly the corniest thing I have ever bared witnessed to.

Steve Hebert: Well, good. Maybe a chocolate egg will brighten your day.

As Steve says that, the Easter Bunny, who was tossing eggs into the crowd, tosses a chocolate egg at Steve Hebert, who catches it and hands it over to Lex Robinson.

Steve Hebert: Here you go. See, I'm a nice guy.

Lex Robinson: Trust me. I don't want it. In the meantime, Morgana stands in the ring, interrupted upon her unveiling of the item in that cloth. She's just standing inside, rolling her eyes, as the oversized rabbit finally finishes tossing out chocolate treats and slides into the ring.

Steve Hebert: Oh boy! We're gonna have a showdown!

The Easter Bunny offers a chocolate egg to Morgana, in a feigned offering of peace. Morgana accepts, but still seems nonplussed. She, of course, brings the microphone back up to her mouth, hoping to switch attention back to her.

Morgana: Uh... thanks, Easter Bunny.

Steve Hebert: The Easter Bunny is much nicer than Santa Claus. Remember Santa and how his eyeball was poked out by Chris Extreme's cock?

Lex Robinson: Unfortunately, yes, I do.

Steve Hebert: Good!

Morgana: ...However, I really think I should get back to my announcement; if it's... uh... okay with you.... uh... Easter Bunny.

In reply to Morgana's request, the Easter Bunny nods its head, wishing Morgana to continue.

Morgana: ...Anyhow, back to the topic at hand: what's inside of this clo--

Wham!

Again, Morgana is interrupted -- this time it's because the "Easter Bunny" has charged forward, clobbering her against the back of her skull. Dropped to the ground, Morgana also drops the cloth and the object inside, still not showing what it is.

Steve Hebert: Yes! Yes! Yes!

Lex Robinson: I never thought I'd say this, but... the Easter Bunny has just attacked our World Champion!

Steve Hebert: There's a first for everything, Lex. You oughta know that by now.

Lex Robinson: I suppose you're right. The mutant, oversized rabbit stomps on Morgy's head... and even elbowdrops her! That's impressive for a giant rabbit!

Steve Hebert: Even I'm amazed!

Lex Robinson: The Easter Bunny picks Morgana up by her sexy pink hair and hurls her against the ropes. He headbutts her!

Steve Hebert: Holy Jesus! A headbutt from a rabbit -- who would have thunk it?!

Lex Robinson: The Easter Bunny whips Morgana across the ring. She bounces off the ropes, and the Easter Bunny ducks down, hoping to hit a mean backdrop. However, upon her rebound, Morgana kicks that damn rabbit in the face, knocking its whiskers straight off!

Steve Hebert: Someone call the SPCA!

Lex Robinson: She grabs him by the bonnet... and yes, there it is! The same move she hit Chris Extreme with, thereby knocking him out of competition! It's the Reinventing Timothy Ashton! Her version of a stunner! She just knocked that rabbit out!

Steve Hebert: Silly rabbit, tricks are for kids!

Lex Robinson: Without fear, Morgana climbs to the top rope, as the Easter Bunny lays unconcious on the canvas. She flies off... she hits The Morgasm!

Steve Hebert: It's official; the Easter Bunny is dead. Way to go, Morgy.

Pancaked on the mat, the Easter Bunny is soon kicked to the floor by Morgana, who picks up the basket of treats and indulges in a chocolate candybar. Furthermore, she picks up the microphone and watches as the Easter Bunny is helped to the back.

Morgana: As I was saying... before I was so rudely interrupted by a 6 foot rabbit...

Turning around, she notices the yellow cloth that sits on the canvas and picks it up. As she continues talking, she slowly begins to unwrap it.

Lex Robinson: Finally.

Morgana: I introduce to you...

One more fold left to unwrap...

Morgana: The new...

It's unwrapped. In Morgana's hands in a shiny, new, and PINK-strapped World Title belt; its lustre sparkling in the spotlight.

Morgana: ...World Title!

Fans give applause as the newly designed title is unveiled.

Steve Hebert: ...A pink World Title? Great, just great. How manly.

Lex Robinson: It's a brand new title that was made personally for Morgana. I guess she's subtlety making the claim that she has no plans on parting with it.

Steve Hebert: Not if Stryker Graff or Arran Hayden, the residential pretty men, have anything to say about that! They're so pretty, Lex, it's unbelievable.

Lex Robinson: ...Uh... sure.

Morgana holds the microphone up for one more bit of advice.

Morgana: I don't care who I face; whether it's some queer vampire, or some femme-butch, ala Destiny Daniels, this title stays with me, always. Because what Morgy wants, Morgy gets.

Those last words echo in the warehouse, leaving everyone with a lasting impression, as Morgana simply drops the microphone to the canvas and walks to the back, amidst loud applause from the fans.

Triple Threat

Glen Fischer vs. Kairi vs. Tony Millennia

Lex Robinson: Did we miss her intro?

Steve Hebert: Yes.

Lex Robinson: What the hell happened?

Steve Hebert: It’s called an auspicious beginning, you salacious ass.

Lex Robinson: Put down the thesaurus, you buffoon!

Steve Hebert: Did you say buffet?

Lex Robinson: No.

The lights dim slightly, creating a relaxing setting, before "Homage for Satan" By Decide hits the PA like a violent seizure. Glen "Venom" Fischer appears from behind the curtain, wielding a razor-wire baseball bat. He screams abuse at the fans, making vulgar gestures towards them. He spits into the crowd and turns his heel, making his way down the ramp, holding the horribly modified baseball bat above his head. Venom discards the weapon near the iron steps to the ring and slides inside, with the crowd divided between jeers and drunken cheers. Venom shoots a hand gesture towards the camera as the lights return to normal. He rests by one of the turnbuckles, awaiting his opponent.

Lex Robinson: Dear god, that bat looks intimidating.

Steve Hebert: I bet it does more than tickle.

Lex Robinson: Are bats supposed to tickle?

Steve Hebert: Stop asking stupid questions, Lex, you’re setting a bad precedent for Sin’s return.

Lex Robinson: God, I don’t know why I ever signed back on to work with you.

"Love Is Not Enough" by Nine Inch Nails starts up, and as the lyrics and guitars kick in, the lights go out, dulling to a few deep red spotlights at either side of the entryway.

Lex Robinson: Tony’s good at keeping his mind in the game. I’d be distracted by the blonde about three seats back over there holding the sign, “Tony I want your babies!”

Steve Hebert: Man…what’s wrong with me, lady? I’m twice the man Tony is!

Lex Robinson: Only in girth. Ooh, the action begins!

Tony Millennia stares down Glen Fischer for a moment, before reaching toward him for a grapple. Fischer blasts Millennia back with a hard boot to Millennia’s knee, sending him staggering, before following with a flurry of fists to batter Tony back into the corner!

Lex Robinson: I think Kairi’s confused. But she’s not complaining, letting the guys pound each other down.

Steve Hebert: Ah, now she’s getting into it.

Kairi grabs Fischer from behind, pulling him off of Millennia, but she only receives a stiff elbow to her face for her efforts. Fischer slaps her hard across the face, showing no regard for her being a woman.

Lex Robinson: How rude!

Steve Hebert: Rude? She’s a god damned wrestler! A hit to the face is kinda the norm.

Fischer appears ready to completely unload on Kairi, but Tony Millennia lunges at him from the corner, spearing him in the ribs from behind. Instead of focusing on Fischer, though, Millennia takes over for him on Kairi, wrenching her to the side with an armbar, before spinning behind her to slam her in the middle of the ring with a hard German suplex.

Lex Robinson: Tony Millennia’s beginning to work his technical magic!

Steve Hebert: Dude, I don’t know what drugs you’re snorting, but technical wrestling is like watching grass grow.

Lex Robinson: Dude, respect the suplex.

Steve Hebert: Lex, respect my fat ass.

Tony Millennia drags Kairi to her feet by her hair, before quickly locking and lifting her in a vertical suplex. He stalls for several seconds, before being blasted with a super kick by Glen Fischer!

Lex Robinson: Oh god! Tony gets his head almost taken off, while Kairi goes crashing to the concrete outside the ring on her shoulders and back!

Steve Hebert: Ah, there’s nothing like the sound of bone and muscle slapping against hard concrete in the morning.

Lex Robinson: It’s not morning right now.

Steve Hebert: But pleasant, nonetheless.

Lex Robinson: You’re a sick person, Steve.

Fischer stares down at the fallen Kairi with a smirk for a moment, before turning back to Tony Millennia and stomping him several times. He lifts Tony to his feet, shrugging him onto his shoulders, apparently aiming for the Corpse Driver, but Tony shoves himself off, as Fischer slams to the mat. Millennia’s weight drops onto Fischer, who immediately staggers him back with several blows to the face, before lunging toward Millennia with a European uppercut.

Lex Robinson: Glen Fischer misses with the uppercut, and Tony slides low to roll him up from behind!

Steve Hebert: School boy rollup? Sweet christ, it’s like the lamest move possible.

...1...2...3!

Steve Hebert: Uh…well I’ll be damned.

Lex Robinson: Tony Millennia sneaks a quick victory over Glen Fischer, who must’ve really been underestimating him!

Steve Hebert: No shit.

Tony Millennia quickly slides out of the ring, before slowly walking to the back with Nine Inch Nails playing over the sound system, his expression blank. Glen Fischer rises to his feet in the ring, frustration on his eyes. He slides out of the ring, claiming his razor wire baseball bat, before slamming it loudly against the ring steps in disgust before making his way to the back.

Winner: Tony Millennia

Ace Rodgers: Ace Rodgers here, and I'm just waiting for...wait, there he is!

At that moment, the camera pans to the side, revealing the sweaty form of Tony Millennia, who is not only fresh out of a match, but fresh off his first victory since SW's return.

Ace Rodgers: Tony! Hold on a second! Wait up!

As the camera turns in a circular motion, following the two men, Ace can be seen following along at Tony's side. However, Tony remains aloof, continuing to walk without so much as glancing at Ace.

Ace Rodgers: Oh, come on. Don't do this to me. WAIT!

With Ace's voice hitting an ungodly high pitch, Tony cringes, stopping in his tracks. Peering over his shoulder at Rodgers with eyes that could kill, Tony finally responds.

Tony Millennia: What is it?

Ace Rodgers: I..uh...whoa, you actually stopped. I wasn't prepared for that. I thought you'd just go on walking like a typical Millennia, but you're actually going to say something. That is just...wow.

Tony Millennia: What is it?

Repeating himself, Millennia initiates a moment of awkward silence, after which he turns his head and continues to walk.

Ace Rodgers: No! Wait!

Stopping one more time, Tony once again glares over his shoulder, his eyes even more menacing this time.

Ace Rodgers: I just...wanted to ask what your plan was.

Tony Millennia: I don't have one.

Ace Rodgers: You don't....but there's plenty going on in SW right now that it seems you might be interested in. For starters, the guy who eliminated you at Over the Top Rope, Konstantin Bryzgalov, is still running around, and word is he's pretty proud of himself coming out of that night and heading into this fourth year of Sin. Care to comment on that?

The muscles in Tony's face clench. Obviously, this irks him, but...

Tony Millennia: No.

Ace's face lights up in shock, but he is relentless in his quest to muster up some reaction from Mr. Millennia.

Ace Rodgers: O...kay. And how about Team Wifey? Surely you have SOMETHING to say about them. I mean, Morgana herself is and has been one of your biggest rivals for...ever...hasn't she? And Adora. She's another big name from your past. What are your thoughts on having them around the locker-room?

This time, Tony raises an eyebrow, clearly on the verge of saying...something...but instead...

Tony Millennia: I...I don't have any.

Tony's face flushes. His eyes lower to the ground dejectedly.

Ace Rodgers: Well, okay, but what about Nikita? She's MIA these days. Do you have any idea where she might-

All of a sudden, an arm soaked in rage springs forth, its hand gripping the throat of Ace Rodgers. That arm, of course, belongs to Tony Millennia, who proceeds to slam Ace up against the wall, creating an indent in the wall itself.

Tony Millennia: YOU SON OF A FUCKING BITCH! WHAT GIVES YOU THE RIGHT??!

Ace Rodgers: ...

Tony Millennia: ...

As suddenly as he attacked Ace, Tony releases his death grip. Ace falls to the ground, nursing his throat and coughing.

Ace Rodgers: What...the hell...is your.....problem....

Tony seems confounded by what he has done, backing away. However, after a few seconds, the bewilderment fades from his face, replaced by its former coating of indifference masking an obvious undertone of bitterness.

Tony Millennia: I don't have one.

Millennia turns. He walks. He heads out of sight.

Tony Millennia: I don't have anyone.

Fade out.

DJ Sancho: Oh Johnnyboy, the pipes are calling... *hiccup* dah dah duh duhh... oh Johnnyboy OH JOHNNYBOY! I love you so!

DJ Sancho arrives to the front door of the warehouse much to the displeasure of the irish security guard manning the door. Under normal circumstances, DJ Sancho would be intimidated by the security guard's height advantage, but not tonight. DJ Sancho's never felt friendlier or drunker.

DJ Sancho: Excuse me, amigo. Is this the warehouse the Sin Wrestling pay per view is being held at?

Security Guard: Yes it is, fella, but you're not getting in unless you're on the list.

DJ Sancho: Well, I must be on the list. I'm talent. You'll find me under DJ Sancho.

The security guard quickly glances over the guestlist on his clipboard.

Security Guard: Nope, nothing here, fella.

DJ Sancho: Well, try under Streets of Bakersfield.

Security Guard: I'm sorry, but the Streets of Bakersfield have already redeemed their invites.

DJ Sancho: The S.o.B.'s are inside?! You gotta lemme in. They'll vouch for me.

Security Guard: I'm sorry the only way to get inside if you're not on the list is for Mr. Page to personally authorize your entry.

DJ Sancho: Then get Mr. Page on the radio and tell him DJ Sancho's here!

The security guard takes the 2 way radio from its holster and proceeds to radio in.

The screeching sound of Kitty Extreme's shrill voice rasps in the backstage area, as she storms up to Corey Page, slamming a box down in front of him.

Corey Page, on the other, is sitting behind his desk, relaxing in a reclining chair.

...Well, sort of. This isn't a big-budgeted show, so Corey is really sitting on the floor, eating marshmellows, while using a white, upside-down bucket as a desk.

Corey Page: Huh? Say what?

Kitty Extreme: Look in the box, you asshole!

Corey Page: Fine; I see.

Obliging Kitty's wishes, Corey grabs the box and pops the top off it. Reaching inside, his eyes widen in horror and then he turns the box over. As a result, several revealing pictures The Wifeys sent to Corey Page flutter out; one set glued together by Corey Page's semen.

Corey Page: Uhm... uh... well... I can explain... you see... I'm an asshole... and uh...

Kitty Extreme: Fuck you! I'm leaving you! Am I not good enough?! I'm gone!

Just like that, Kitty storms away, leaving behind an embarassed and confused Corey Page, who remains seated on the floor, trying to put everything together.

Corey Page: This is not good.

Stating the obvious, Corey lifts up his white bucket, revealing a container of whiskey beneath it. He grabs the container and immediately takes a swig.

Corey Page: This is really not good.

Fade out.

Singles Match

Darkfalls vs. Shane Donovan

Steve Hebert: It's that douchebag that rides a motorcycle!

Lex Robinson: That'd be Darkfalls.

Steve Hebert: Typical goth.

Lex Robinson: I'm not sure what's so typical about it...?

Steve Hebert: It's typical because he's a goth that rides a motorcycle, which also pollutes the environment!

Lex Robinson: Since when you do you care about the environment?

Steve Hebert: Since today.

Lex Robinson: Oh, of course.

"The Outsider (Resident Reinhold mix)" by A Perfect Circle begins to play as Shane Donovan makes his way to the ring, his eyes scanning the crowd as he walks down the aisle, sliding into the ring. Shane removes his jacket, handing it to a stagehand before taking his place in the corner, waiting for the match to begin.

Steve Hebert: Holy crap!

Lex Robinson: Hmmm? What is it?

Steve Hebert: It's Shane Donovan! I thought he was in prison?!

Lex Robinson: He was in prison; but he's been released, as you can obviously see.

Steve Hebert: Oh. Makes sense, then.

Lex Robinson: Yup, apparently he was cleared off the murder charge that was held against him... or something.

Steve Hebert: As long as he beats up whores, such as Nikita, I'm fine with that.

Ding, ding, ding!

Lex Robinson: The bell rings and Shane Donovan immediately lurches across the ring, catching Darkfalls from behind, as he was testing out the ropes!

Steve Hebert: Haha, he caught him with a clubbing forearm to the back of Darkfalls' neck, which drops him into the corner! Now that's how you make a good return, Shane.

Keeping Darkfalls grounded in the corner, Shane hammers away on him with some rights and lefts, even striking him with some knees to the back of his head, making sure to keep him groggy-eyed and loopy. After hammering away on him for a few seconds, he lifts Darkfalls up and starts elbowing him in the back of his neck.

Lex Robinson: Shane finally allows Darkfalls to stand, but it looks as if won't be for long, as he continues to hammer him into the ground.

Steve Hebert: He's just pounding him. Maybe Shane was raped in prison and is now taking his aggression and rage out on Darkfalls?

Lex Robinson: Boy, I hope not.

Steve Hebert: In any event, Shane bodyslams Darkfalls, the angry goth, and backs up into the ropes, bouncing off and returning with a kneedrop to Darkfalls' head.

Lex Robinson: I like how Shane continues to focus on Darkfalls' head; making sure to keep him in a daze. Furthermore, Shane kicks Darkfalls in the gut and then pulls him in with a standing headscissors. He hits a piledriver, driving Darkfalls' skull into the canvas!

Steve Hebert: That friggin' goth isn't even going to have a chance to attack Shane! He may as well piss on his scooter.

Lex Robinson: It's a Harley, Steve.

Steve Hebert: Whatever. All big, gay bikers are the same to me.

Lex Robinson: Go figure.

Almost toying with Darkfalls, Shane stands and lifts his opponent up once more, having him in a kneeling position. As Darkfalls' eyes roll back in his head, Shane slaps him across the cheek, sending a trail of spit pluming out of Darkfalls' mouth. Furthermore, Shane bounces off the ropes for a second time and returns by leaping into the air, only to deliver a very stiff kick to DArkfalls' face!

Lex Robinson: Oh man! He literally kicked Darkfalls square in the jaw!

Steve Hebert: I think it's time to call a doctor.

Lex Robinson: To hell with that. I think it's time to cover him.

Steve Hebert: But Shane has much more fun to be had!

Lex Robinson: I'm sure.

Lifting Darkfalls up, for the second time in a row, Shane hooks onto his side, placing his left arm around Shane's head. He then hoists Darkfalls up into the air and hits a version of a backdrop-driver, which again, forces Darkfalls to land directly on the top of his head. Smirking, Shane immediately springs back up, dusts off his hands and goes for a relaxed cover.

Lex Robinson: It's about damn time. Shane Donovan, fresh off a release from prison, is making a cover on Darkfalls, whom he has literally destroyed.

Steve Hebert: Awww, but I was hoping for so much more!

The referee counts...

...1...2...

Steve Hebert: It's only a two!

Lex Robinson: Only because Shane breaks the count on his own accord! At the count of two, he grabs Darkfalls' hair and sits him up. This is ridiculous!

Steve Hebert: He's an angry man, Lex; and he has every right to be, after what he's gone through!

Lex Robinson: Is that so? So, it's okay for him to channel that anger onto Darkfalls, instead of taking control of his situation?

Steve Hebert: Pffft, the situation is under control, Lex. It's a match. Darkfalls signed up for this. He knew what he was in for.

Lex Robinson: Eh, I guess you're right; but still. He is sat up, allowing for Shane to go around behind him and start hitting him with some European uppercuts from the rear. On top of that, Shane goes nuts, as he delivers a monstrous flurry of knees to the back of Darkfalls, grinding each shot directly into his spine.

Steve Hebert: Suffice to say, Darkfalls bicycle riding days are okay.

Lex Robinson: It's a motorcycle that he drives! A motorcycle!

Steve Hebert: Oh, whatever!

Yanking on Darkfalls' head, Shane stands him up to his feet and greets him with some punches, which back him against the ropes. After a few chops, he Irish-whips Darkfalls across the ring, wanting to knock his head off with a clothesline upon his return. Unfortunately for Shane, his plans are thwarted when Darkfalls ducks beneath the attack and continues on to the opposite set of ropes.

Lex Robinson: Darkfalls ducks the clothesline, bounces off the ropes and returns with a leaping hurancanrana onto Shane, flipping him over, catching him off-guard! He wasn't expecting that!

Steve Hebert: Goddamnit, keep your eyes open, Shane!

Lex Robinson: After that blitz-attack from Darkfalls, I'm sure he will.

Before Shane can rise, Darkfalls continues his charge, hoping to fend Shane off by hitting a dropkick, which knocks him against the ropes. Stepping back, Darkfalls takes a breather and then runs forward, hoping to clothesline Shane to the floor, but Shane has other plans.

Lex Robinson: Shane ducks down and backdrops Darkfalls!

Steve Hebert: But that filthy, ugly goth lands on his feet on the apron! When Shane turns around, he immediately walks into a forearm shot, followed up by Darkfalls grasping onto his head and then dropping to the floor, guillotining his head, using the top rope!

Lex Robinson: Darkfalls isn't on the floor for long, though. He immediately leaps back up onto the apron and then climbs to the top rope, all while Shane Donovan stumbles around the ring, holding his throat and neck region. Shane turns around and witnesses Darkfalls soaring through the air, in a crossbody fashion...!

Steve Hebert: He misses!

Lex Robinson: It was more like Shane saw him coming and thereby decided to drop down, forcing Darkfalls to smack face-first into the canvas!

Steve Hebert: Damn right! This is all Shane's doing!

Lex Robinson: Standing back, Shane allows a hazy Darkfalls to rise, only to sneak up behind him and hit him with a Pump-Handle Powerbomb!

Steve Hebert: He calls that the Breakdown. Get it right, Lex. And that's a prelude to the Phoenix Stomp, which he is now settin' up for!

Lex Robinson: Oh man; poor Darkfalls.

Steve Hebert: Jesus, who gives a fuck about Darkfalls?

Lex Robinson: Steadying himself on the top rope, Shane watches as Darkfalls writhes in the ring, unable to move out of the way, He leaps off, extends his feet and lands feet-first onto Darkfalls' chest with a flying double stomp!

Steve Hebert: See? It's the Phoenix Stomp! I'm pretty sure Darkfalls lost all of his oxygen upon Shane's crash-landing. Actually, come to think of it, I'm sure he now has a collapsed lung.

Lex Robinson: You're probably right. Shane isn't even going to wait for Darkfalls to rise, as he forcefully lifts him up to his feet, having a handful of Darkfalls' hair. He turns Darkfalls around... and... yup... there it is! The Clincher! What a deadly move!

Steve Hebert: It's like an anaconda in how it crushes your entire body.

Lex Robinson: That's actually a good comparison, Steve.

Having his arms and legs wrapped tightly around Darkfalls, Shane falls onto the canvas and starts to choke out Darkfalls, who doesn't even have the energy to tap out. For the sake of Darkfalls, the referee calls for the bell, therefore giving the victory to Shane Donovan.

Lex Robinson: It wasn't even possible for Darkfalls to tap!

Steve Hebert: It's safe to assume that Shane Donovan killed him.

Lex Robinson: Honestly, I wouldn't doubt that, at all. Good lord.

The bell rings, signaling the victory for Shane. However, he doesn't release his hold until the referee steps in, forcing him to free Darkfalls.

Steve Hebert: He's so dead that he'll never ride that goddamn queer bike ever again. And I, for one, am glad.

Lex Robinson: You would be.

Standing to his feet, giving a final stomp to Darkfalls, aiding him in rolling out of the ring, Shane Donovan beckons for the microphone, which is handed to him by the referee. He looks into the camera, which is being held by the cameraman on the ring apron.

Steve Hebert: Shhhh... Shane has something to say.

Lex Robinson: Oh joy.

Steve Hebert: I said "shush"!

Lex Robinson: Fine.

Steve Hebert: Shush!

Shane begins to talk...

Shane Donovan: I'll keep this to the point, unlike many other rambling so-called stars. I was robbed!

He stresses the word "robbed", wanting to vent his feelings on the fact about his situation.

Shane Donovan: I was supposed to have the World Title shot against Nikita! It should have been me tapping that bitch out; but it was all taken away from me! Suffice to say, Morgana... I don't care if I have to make your friend, Adora, scream for her life; but I'm coming for you. I'm coming for the World Title. You won't see it coming.

He drops the microphone and retreats to the back, amongst a chorus of jeers from the fans.

Winner: Shane Donovan

Buck Travis: You wanted to see me, sir?

Corey Page: Yeah, Buck. I did, sit down.

Buck looks at the dirty floor, deciding against it.

Buck Travis: If it's just the same, I'll stand.

Corey Page: Suit yourself. Now listen up, you are still under contract with Sin wrestling.

Buck Travis: Yeah, I know that, but I figgered seein' as my tag team partner went missin'... swam back home, or sumthin'...

Corey Page: You "figgered" I'd just let you walk away? With my money in your pocket?

Buck Travis: Not so much figgered... Kinda hoped, maybe?

Corey Page: No such luck. You are going on the roster into singles competition. We'll see how a forty-something cowboy can stand up to the competition. I hope your life insurance is all paid up.

Buck Travis: Naw. I mean, there ain't no need to be like that.

Corey Page: You have any other suggestions as to how you can fulfill you contract, smart guy?

Buck Travis takes off his hat and scratches his head for a second.

Corey Page: That's what--

An assistant intrudes on the meeting requesting Corey Page's immediate attention.

Assistant: Sir, security requires your authorization.

Corey Page: Who wants in?

Assistant: Former wrestler by the name of Jason Cho.

Corey Page: Jason Cho? Patch security through.

Corey Page picks up the receiver on his telephone that sits to his bucket; and through the magic of television, we eavesdrop in on their conversation.

Corey Page: Corey Page speaking.

Security Guard: I have a wrestler here that says you will confirm his employment status and grant him an entrance.

Corey Page: Well what's his name?

Security Guard: The Jason Show, sir.

Corey scrunches up his face and replies with a half-drunken response, in between taking another swig from his container.

Corey Page: D. Jason Cho? Neverheard of him, and I don't believe I have any orientals currently under contract.

Security Guard: He's definitely a foreigner, but he's not asian.

Corey Page: Well, what's he look like?

Security Guard: Well, he's certainly lots bigger on the Lucky Charms box. I think he may be mexican.

Corey Page: JOHN VALLEY!

Security Guard: No, not John. Jason.

Corey Page: Then I don't know him. Get rid of him immediately.

Corey Page hangs up and tries to think who this Mexican may have been. He then realizes Buck Travis is still in his office.

Corey Page: And you. Singles division it is.

Buck Travis: Now, wait just a gawd-darned second. I've got it!

Corey Page: Speak.

Buck Travis: Well, I mean, my first plan was to be usin' my managerial talents... so what if I get another tag team to manage?

Corey Page: [chuckling, drunkenly] Sure, Buck. You find a team in SW that will allow you to be their manager, and that will count. But what about a back up plan?

Buck Travis: Back up... Hmmm... I'll tell ya whut, If I can't get a team to manage, how's about you allowin' me to form a new tag team?

Corey Page: That's a deal... I mean, if you can find anyone... I mean ANYONE willing to tag with you, you can be a tag team again.

Buck Travis: Much obliged, sir.

Corey Page goes back to looking at the papers on his desk as Buck Travis walks out with a little Bakersfield grin.

Buck Travis: Tag team, naw. I'm for derned sure everyone will want ol' Buck as their manager. I wonder if there are any more mehican-o's around here...

Buck Travis scoots off, while Corey takes another drink.

Corey Page: So lonely. I miss Kitty and her clitty.

:(

Man: Word, word, blingity blang, John Heavens is here; now suck my wang.

He looks up and notices Kitty and her flushed face.

John Heavens: Oh, hey, baby; whatchu'doin'?

Stifling a sniffle, Kitty looks John Heavens up and down.

Kitty Extreme: H- hello.

John Heavens: Yo, yo, yo, wassup? You lookin' good, bay-bee. How'sabout you come back to my room after my upcoming match? I'll show you a blingin' good time, cha'bang?

Suddenly, revenge and lust pervades across Kitty's mind, prompting her to lasciviously lick her lips, evil deeds circulating her thoughts. Motioning her hand up her body, she rests it on her right breast, stepping close to John Heavens, batting her eyelashes at him.

Kitty Extreme: Why, hello kind sir.

With her free hand, she places it across John Heavens' bicep.

Kitty Extreme: I've always wanted to fuck a black guy...

John Heavens: Dang, girl, you a freak. I'll go kick some ass and then I'll come back to you and fuck you like you oughta be fucked, girl.

Kitty Extreme: Hehehehe, okay!

Kitty jumps up and down, clapping at the thought, watching as John Heavens walks towards the ring entrance, having a swagger in his step.

Scramble Match

Al Kayda vs. John Heavens vs. Michael vs. Johnson Jackson vs. Julian Brown

Steve Hebert: ...What the fuck is this?

Lex Robinson: It's another one of our newcomers. His name is Michael and he's an angel.

Steve Hebert: An angel, eh? Might as well be, considering we have had vampires and a giant booger.

Lex Robinson: Booger is an actual person.

Steve Hebert: Could have fooled me. All we need now is a werewolf.

"You're the Best" by Joe Esposito hits, prompting Al Kayda to emerge amongst the roaring fans. He makes his way down the aisle, high-fiving the fans along the way. You now see Al Kayda enter the ring, walk to the ropes and shout-out "AL KAYDA IS IN THE BUILDING!", to which the crowd suddenly breaks-out in a panic. Al is then quick to assure the fans that he was talking about himself, so the fans then pelt Al with red, white and blue streamers out of anger.

Steve Hebert: SWEET JESUS, CALL THE COPS! SOMEONE GET THE FEDS HERE! IT'S AL QAEDA!

Lex Robinson: No, silly, that's Al Kayda.

Steve Hebert: Well fuck. I guess that explains it. So, uh, this warehouse isn't going to blow up?

Lex Robinson: No, Steve.

Steve Hebert: How disappointing.

"Ice, Ice, Baby" is heard from a far away location. Then John Heavens drives out through a wall in his 1995 Honda Accord, "Ice, Ice, Baby" blaring from the broken down, ghetto stereo. John Heavens gets out of his pimpmobile and spouts some unintelligible, street-talking nonsense. He slides into the ring and attempts to "serve" whoever is occupying the ring by breakdancing. Then an audience member rushes out and steals the stereo from his car, while John Heavens looks on shouting obscenities at the thief.

Steve Hebert: All right, this is just getting plain ridiculous, now.

Lex Robinson: Hah. This is John Heavens, the newest wigga on the black.

Steve Hebert: Good Jesus, don't ever say "wigga", again.

Lex Robinson: Done and done.

Steve Hebert: Well, at least some lucky fan has himself a new stereo.

"Due to the graphic nature of this program, listener discretion is advised"

As "Edgecrusher" by Fear Factory starts, the lights go bright red, and pyros blow a Pentagram-like shape, before Johnson Jackson steps forth, his face down and covered. The guitars continue, Johnson sprints towards the ring.

Johnson slides in underneath the bottom rope and takes his position near the turnbuckles, where he awaits for his match to start.

Lex Robinson: Here is yet another newcomer! This is Johnson Jackson!

Steve Hebert: Jesus, they just keep coming. How many more people are in this match?

Lex Robinson: There's 5, in total, Steve. One more person to come.

Steve Hebert: Christ. I hope so.

Blue light flickers throughout the building, washing over it, as "The Nobodies" by Marilyn Manson hits the speakers. The light flicker, the occasional flash of silver light hits the crowd, as Julian Brown walks down to the ring, climbs up the steps and enters inside.

Steve Hebert: Our last goddamn competitor! Praise Jesus! And he looks like a goddamn metrosexual. Way to go, Sin Wrestling.

Lex Robinson: It's indeed out final competitor. His name is Julian Brown and he has only recently signed a Sin Wrestling contract.

Steve Hebert: You don't say, you know... considering we haven't seen him before or anything.

Lex Robinson: Don't be sarcastic; I'm just telling the truth.

Steve Hebert: Don't be stupid, in that case.

The match starts out with Michael, John Heavens and Al Kayda on the outer portion of the apron; with John Heavens and Julian Brown inside of the ring, ready to begin things.

Lex Robinson: Julian Brown and John Heavens will start things off. How about what we just saw in the backstage area, with Kitty Extreme and John Heavens? Is it over between Kitty and Corey Page?

Steve Hebert: For the sake of everyone, I hope so. Good God, what a disgusting couple.

Lex Robinson: Let's not forget that Kitty says she wants to have intercourse with John Heavens... because he is a black man. One thing about that, though, is that... uh... John Heavens is white.

Steve Hebert: You know that Extreme family, though. They're always confusing the white meat with the dark meat, and vice-cersa. The bell rings, thus prompting John Heavens and Julian Brown to step towards each other, with Julian Brown starting things out by wristlocking John Heavens.

Lex Robinson: And we're off! Things start with Julian Brown taking control with a wristlock. However, John Heavens, everyone's favorite black white guy, tries to reverse this. Pushing forward, John Heavens changes things into his own favor, allowing him to apply a top-wristlock, which reels Julian Brown back.

Steve Hebert: But that dumb wigger has his legs sweeped out from beneath him, thanks to Julian, who is able to extend himself forward and kick Heavens onto the ground. I hate to say, but he just got served.

Lex Robinson: Uh oh.

Steve Hebert: And the moron gets right back up to his feet, only to walk right into another wristlock from Julian Brown, who, this time, goes elbow-to-elbow with Heavens, drilling his own elbow into John Heavens'.

Lex Robinson: John goes down to one knee, as he feels the impact from the previous move all over his body. He fights his way up and fights his way out of the wristlock, using some knees to strike Julian in the gut. He then drops to his side, arm-dragging Julian Brown over. Of course, Julian quickly rises and charges back at John, who then side-steps him and brings Julian Brown down with a drop-toe-hold. Jumping up, John Heavens goes to deliver an elbowdrop to the back of Julian's head, but Julian is able to roll to his right, thereby causing John Heavens to land on his arm!

Steve Hebert: Hmm... that was a smart move. I give him kudos for that. I also give him kudos in knowing that he has been bested and then rolling out of the ring, only to tag out to Al Kayda, who will probably blow someone up.

Lex Robinson: Eh, this isn't the terrorist organization. How many times do I have to repeat myself?

Steve Hebert: Many times, I'll assume.

Lex Robinson: I really wouldn't doubt it. In any event, Al Kayda steps in, but John Heavens takes a step back and tags out to Michael, the supposed archangel.

Steve Hebert: Jesus. I should have known.

Lex Robinson: It's a holy day, don't use the Lord's name in vain. Especially not in front of Michael.

Steve Hebert: Oh, shut up. You've got to be kidding me. Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus. There? Have I been struck by lightning? Hell no. P.S. Jesus.

Lex Robinson: Don't say I didn't warn you.

Al Kayda and Michael step into the ring and go face-to-face, with each men eventually taking a turn to deliver a punch and a forearm to each other. After some back-and-forth swatting, Al Kayda takes the advantage, sending Michael back with an uppercut that nearly breaks his jaw. Punching Michael another time, Al Kayda backs Michael against the ropes and then whips him out.

Lex Robinson: Michael is sent into the ropes and springs back, charging directly into a shoulderblock from Al Kayda, which knocks him down. Kayda is a big, powerful manl so it's obvious that he'll take Michael down.

Steve Hebert: But the son of Jesus, Michael, gets back up and rightfully so.

Lex Robinson: Yup, but he ducks beneath a swinging clothesline from Al Kayda, allowing him to turn Kayda around and then unload with a flurry of punches to his head. Having Al Kayda groggy, Michael bounces off the ropes and storms back with a leaping back-elbow that knocks Al Kayda to the mat. He then gets to his feet, walks into a corner and tags in Johnson Jackson, another newcomer that is looking to show off his talents.

Steve Hebert: Another goth-tastic superstar. Yippee!

Lex Robinson: Entering the ring, Johnson Jackson focuses on Al Kayda, who is now stumbling around, trying to regain his senses. From behind, he forearms Kayda in the back of his neck and corners him against the turnbuckle pads, where he unleashes a flurry of kicks to Kayda's gut. Next, he climbs to the second rope and shows his climb-and-pound technique!

One by one, Johnson Jackson's fists lay into Al Kayda's skull.

Steve Hebert: The fans are counting along with Jackson Johnson's punches.

Lex Robinson: It's Johnson Jackson, Steve.

Steve Hebert: Look, I don't care about Jimmy Jackson. All I know is that he is punching Al Kayda in the head.

Lex Robinson: Uhh... Johnson Jackson. Jimmy Jackson is a former Televison Champion. He isn't wrestling tonight.

Steve Hebert: Don't patronize me.

Johnson Jackson holds his arm high, threatening to punch Al Kayda one more time. Al Kayda, alernatively, has differing ideas. He reaches up, pushes off on Johnson's chest and sends him flying across the ring with one hand.

Lex Robinson: Al Kayda shoves Johnson Jackson backwards, forcing him to land on his back. Fortunately for Johnson, he is able to roll up to his feet and charge back towards Al Kayda, catching him with a running forearm into the corner, rendering Al Kayda's earlier shove useless.

Steve Hebert: USA! USA! USA!

Lex Robinson: You're Canadian, not American.

Steve Hebert: Go Habs!

Lex Robinson: Uh...

Steve Hebert: Hm?

Lex Robinson: Nothing, nevermind.

After delivering some kicks to Al Kayda, continuing to corner him, Johnson Jackson steps back and measures the big man up. Before he can burst forward, however; Julian Brown reaches out from his position on the apron and tags Johnson Jackson on the shoulder.

Lex Robinson: Making the sneaky tag, Julian Brown enters the ring. Grabbing Kayda by the mask, he plucks him into the center of the ring, kicks him in the gut, bounces off the ropes and then returns with a scissors kick, having his left leg booming down on the back of Al Kayda's neck like an axe!

Steve Hebert: Not only that, but this kid's climbing to the top rope. I like his fire, Lex.

Lex Robinson: As usual.

Steve Hebert: He may look a tad metrosexual, but this guy seems like a badass motherfucker, if you know what I'm sayin'.

Lex Robinson: I believe I do, Steve; I believe I do.

Once on the top turnbuckle, Julian Brown waits for Al Kayda to turn towards him. When the timing is perfect, Julian soars through the air, hoping to hit Al Kayda like a missile. Unfortunately for him, Al Kayda's strength reigns over his flying ability and he catches him in mid-air.

Steve Hebert: Yep, well, so much for that.

Lex Robinson: Al Kayda uses his power to hold onto Julian Brown. He presses him above his head, only to drop him down into a scooped-up position. With full force, Al Kayda flings Julian Brown overhead, sending him flying across the ring with a release Blizzard suplex!

Steve Hebert: This also causes Julian to roll out of the ring, which then brings back in Johnson Jackson, who was not finished from earlier. He surprises Al Kayda from behind with a high knee to the upper-back, sending him sprawling through the ropes and onto the floor!

Lex Robinson: And in comes Michael!

Steve Hebert: Holy Jesus!

Lex Robinson: It's not Jesus, Steve.

Steve Hebert: I never said he was!

Lex Robinson: Michael and Johnson Jackson square off in the center of the ring, with Johnson ducking beneath a clothesline from Michael. Opting to turn around, Johnson Jackson catches Michael with an Atomic Drop, bounces off the ropes and then returns with a running reverse bulldog, knocking him down! He goes for a quick cover...

...1...2...

Steve Hebert: Aw, crap, John Heavens comes in and makes the save. Who does he think he is? Justin Timberlake?

Lex Robinson: Probably. Anyhow, John Heavens hooks onto Johnson Jackson's right foot and slides him off Michael. Responding not so lightly, Johnson stands to his feet and immediately gets into John Heavens' face.

Steve Hebert: John Jackson is going to kill that wigger!

Lex Robinson: Ugh... stop that.

Steve Hebert: Pay attention to the match, Lex. Jack Johnson is hammering away John Heavens' face! He whips him into the ropes... errr...wait, it gets reversed.

Lex Robinson: Johnson Jackson is flung into the ropes by John Heavens, who ducks down, hoping for a backdrop, or so it seems. Johnson Jackson, though, decides to change things up, though, as he kicks John Heavens in the face and then latches onto him with a front facelock. Eyeing Michael rising to his feet, Johnson charges at him, still with Heavens' head locked between his arms, and gives Michael a climbing enziguiri, while contorting his body around and driving John Heavens into the canvas with a Tornado DDT! Amazing!

Steve Hebert: What do you know? The goth has talent, after all!

Lex Robinson: His celebration of those chain of moves doesn't last that long, however. Behind him, Julian Brown returns to a standing position on the apron, spots him gloating and springboards off the ropes and hits a flying dropkick to the back of Johnson Jackson's skull, sending him sprawling out to the floor, much in the same way as Al Kayda.

Steve Hebert: Speaking of Al Kayda, here he comes!

Just as Julian Brown stands, fresh off from delivering a springboard dropkick, Al Kayda storms up behindhim, applies a full-nelson, hoists him up into the air and then brings him back down with a full-nelson buster. He stands over Julian Brown, about to go for a cover, when a reeling Michael crawls up from behind him and schoolboy-rolls him up.

Lex Robinson: A schoolboy!

Steve Hebert: You really need to cut that pedophilia, Lex.

Lex Robinson: No, I mean... a rollup! A schoolboy rollup!

Steve Hebert: ...Oh. Well shit. The angel can't win!

...1...2...

Lex Robinson: Michael only gets a two-count, as Al Kayda kicks out!

Lifting Al Kayda up, Michael grabs his mask and then flings him to the floor, so that he can turn around and focus on Julian Brown, who is recovering on the canvas.

Lex Robinson: Michael hunches over, trying to pick Julian up off the mat, only to have him rolled-up with an inside-cradle...!

Steve Hebert: That came out of nowhere! Julian might have the win.

...1...

Lex Robinson: There's one...

...2...

Lex Robinson: ...Two... and...

Steve Hebert: Goddamnit! He kicked out!

Lex Robinson: The match continues... and John Heavens is back up. In the meantime, both Julian and Michael get to their feet at approximately the same time. They send several fists at each other's cranium, knocking each other back an inch or two. Julian Brown goes to kick Michael, but Michael catches his foot; thus prompting Julian to strike him with another enziguiri kick! Michael stumbles back, bumping against John Heavens' chest.

Steve Hebert: Things aren't looking good for Jesus Jr.

Lex Robinson: You're right. John Heavens applies a half-nelson, while chicken-winging Michael's left arm. He then drives Michael backwards with a release half-nelson suplex! Michael has been driven into the canvas, knocking him on his skull! He rolls out of the ring, which is probably a good idea.

Remaining in the ring is Julian Brown and John Heavens, which sees John Heavens struck with a knee-to-the-skull from Julian Brown, as he is rising to his feet. Knocked back, John stumbles off the ropes and bounces back, returning with a big boot to Julian's face, knocking him backward, as well.

Lex Robinson: John Heavens and Julian Brown exchange blows, with both men being knocked back-and-forth.

Steve Hebert: I guess you could say they are blowing each other. Har har.

Lex Robinson: No, Steve; not quite.

Steve Hebert: Well, good. Julian Brown is too manly for that, anyhow.

Lex Robinson: I see. Well, whatever the case may be, Julian and John continue to trade punches, going smack-for-smack in the center of the ring. Believing he has the upper-hand on John, after kneeing him ion the groin, Julian Brown bounces himself off the ropes and returns with a satellite headscissors, which he quickly transfers over into a spinning huracanrana!

Steve Hebert: Yes! See? That's manly!

Lex Robinson: So manly that they both get back to their feet at approximately the same time. Exchanging glares, they charge in at one another, with John going for a huge lariat. Julian Brown, aware of this, toryadors around Heavens, spins him around and goes to kick him in the stomach; but again, his foot is caught. With gusto, Heavens flings Julian backwards, but Julian Brown backflips and lands on his feet!

Steve Hebert: He's a friggin' ninja!

Lex Robinson: Just as his two feet hit the ground, though, John Heavens plows forward, extends his arm and flips Julian off his feet with a tremendous lariat!

Steve Hebert: LAAAARIATTTTOOO! Wait, this isn't good.

Lex Robinson: Not for Julian Brown.

Getting to a standing base, John Heavens looks down at Julian Brown, deciding not to cover him. Instead, he looks outside, watching as Michael and Al Kayda fight on the floor, sending fists and chops to each other.

Steve Hebert: What is that poser doing, now?

Lex Robinson: John Heavens is seemingly measuring them up.

Indeed he is. When the time is right, John Heavens bursts forward and dives through the ropes, going head first towards Michael.

Lex Robinson: Seeing John Heavens speeding towards them, Al Kayda shoves Michael away, leaving him vulnerable to the suicide diva from John Heavens, which takes Michael down and out!

Steve Hebert: Michael has just been wiggered!

Lex Robinson: Meanwhile, back in the ring, Johnson Jackson squares off with Julian Brown, lifting him to his feet and then striking him with some punches. He hoists Julian up onto his shoulders with a fireman's carry, spins around in a circle and then vaults Julian forward, while falling onto his own back...!

Steve Hebert: Oh Jesus! Julian falls face and stomach first onto Jackson Johnson Johnson's knees!

Lex Robinson: Ahem. Johnson Jackson has Julian Brown out cold. He turns him over and makes a cover.

...1...2....

Steve Hebert: Osama Bin Laden makes the save!

Lex Robinson: Errr... Al Kayda is able to slip in and drop a clubbing axehandle to the back of Johnson Jackson's head, stopping the three from being made. Lifting Johnson up, Al Kayda hammers him against the ropes with a massive forearm, which snaps his head back. He Irish-whips Johnson Jackson across the ring...

Steve Hebert: But as he heads to the opposite set of ropes, he somersault planchas out onto John Heavens and Michael, taking them both back down!

Lex Robinson: You're right! That's three men on the floor, now, that have been taken down!

In the ring, Al Kayda looks at the mess of bodies on the floor and shrugs his shoulders, realizing that he needs to turn his attention back towards Julian Brown, who is holding his ribcage. Bending over, he goes to lift Julian up by his hair, but receives a kick to the front section of his skull, knocking him back, rendered into a daze.

Steve Hebert: Julian Brown is coming back, Lex!

Lex Robinson: Oh, I'm sure.

As Al Kayda stumbles about, Julian Brown is able to sneak up behind him, turn him around and then unload with rapid-fire knees to the face of Al.

Steve Hebert: There he goes! See! Look at those knees pounding Al Kayda in the face! He won't be able to fund terrorism anymore!

Lex Robinson: I bet.

Taking a step back, Julian Brown leaps forward and then shoots a superkick at Al Kayda's head. Aware of this, Al Kayda latches onto Julian's foot, swings him around and then scoops him up and powerslams him back down.

Lex Robinson: So much for that, hey, Steve?

Steve Hebert: Son of a bitch. We can't let the terrorists win, Lex!

Lex Robinson: He's not a terrorist! Al Kayda, still with Julian in his clutches, hoists him up and lifts him up onto his shoulders. In due time, Al Kayda has him upside-down and drives him back down to the canvas with a Northern Lights Bomb!

Steve Hebert: And the idiot doesn't even cover him. No wonder he's not in Al Qaeda.

Lex Robinson: He's not covering, no, but he is climbing to the top rope, preparing for what looks like a moonsault.

Steve Hebert: He's taking so goddamn long, though.

Lex Robinson: Before he can actually reach the top turnbuckle pad, Julian Brown begins to stir.

Steve Hebert: He's finally up there.

Lex Robinson: Yes, but so is Julian Brown! Julian charges up behind Al Kayda and pushes the big man off the top rope! Oddly enough, he flips off the top rope and somersaults through the air, landing on top of John Heavens, Michael and Johnson Jackson; knocking them all down like bowling pins!

Steve Hebert: That was for America!

Lex Robinson: But Al Kayda actually is for America, too!

Steve Hebert: I thought they wanted to blow you guys up?

Lex Robinson: You're getting it all wrong, again!

Steve Hebert: ...Oh. In that case, GO CANADA!

Being the only person left standing, Julian Brown makes his way to the top turnbuckle, waiting for everyone to rise.

Lex Robinson: On the top rope, Julian Brown is setting himself up for something huge.

Steve Hebert: He's waiting for everyone to stand, though.

Lex Robinson: They're all up; here he goes...!

Leaping off the top rope, Julian Brown corkscrew shooting star presses himself through the air, crashing on all of his opponents, on the floor, like a downed rocket.

Lex Robinson: Holy shitting Jesus! Everyone goes down!

Steve Hebert: Julian Brown just twisted his body around like something from The Exorcist! How festive!

A pile of bodies lay on the floor, moaning and groaning, with Michael being the first man up. He rolls into the ring, stands to his feet and looks out at the mess of people on the floor, deciding to climb to the top rope, wanting to hit a dive of his own. Johnson Jackson, realizing this, quickly leaps up onto the outer portion of the apron and climbs up alongside Michael, hammering him with some fists to the side of his head.

Lex Robinson: Michael and Johnson Jackson brawl on the top turnbuckle. Blocking a punch from Michael, Johnson Jackson forearms Michael, bashes his skull off the top turnbuckle pad and then sunset-flips over Michael, bringing him down with a sunset-flip powerbomb, driving him off the second turnbuckle! The cover is made...

Steve Hebert: And look! He is placing his feet on the bottom rope! I, Steve Hebert, approve of that move!

...1...2...

Lex Robinson: From outside, John Heavens shoves Johnson's feet off the ropes, pulling him off Michael, in the process. John Heavens hops up onto the ring apron and grabs onto Johnson Jackson, only to suplex both himself and Johnson to the floor!

Steve Hebert: Bodies are still flying and collapsing eveywhere!

Lex Robinson: Al Kayda rolls back inside and charges at Michael, who pops his head up, eyeing Al Kayda lunging at him. Kayda tries for a massive clothesline with his muscular arm, but Michael side-steps it and then gives him a Crucfixion! He has Al Kayda rolled up...!

...1...2...

Steve Hebert: This time, it's the terrorist who kicks out!

Upset at the lack of a pinfall, Michael hoists Al Kayda up and throws him back first into the corner, where he then begins to level him with some shoulder-blocks to the gut.

Lex Robinson: Placing Al Kayda on his shoulder, Michael lifts him onto the top rope, sitting him on the turnbuckle pad. He gives Kayda one slap across the face and then climbs up with him.

Steve Hebert: George Bush is going to enjoy this.

Up here, Michael places Al Kayda's left arm around his neck, attempting to suplex him. However, Kayda's plans differ with Michael's, resulting in Kayda punching Michael in the gut and then dumping him to the floor.

Steve Hebert: Noooo! He just blew up The Golden Gate Bridge!

Lex Robinson: After being thrown to the floor, Michael plummets to the cement, landing with a harsh thud!

Steve Hebert: Luckily for Julian Brown, he was able to move out of the way. This prompts him to jump onto the apron and quickly escalate to the top turnbuckle, taking a stance next to Al Kayda! He hooks onto Kayda's neck and leaps off...!

Lex Robinson: A flying cutter! That's "Yours To Keep!"

Steve Hebert: Huh?

Lex Robinson: It's one of his moves!

Al Kayda is turned over onto his back by Julian Brown.

Lex Robinson: Julian makes the cover...

...1...

Lex Robinson: ...One...

Steve Hebert: Johnson Jackson is coming to step it...

...2...

Lex Robinson: ...Two...

Steve Hebert: John Heavens hooks onto him, stopping Jimmy Jack Jonhnson Jones from re-entering!

...3!

Lex Robinson: Three! The match is over! Julian Brown wins!

Steve Hebert: But of course!

Quickly having his hand raised, Julian Brown exits the ring and walks to the back, while Johnson Jackson looks on in disbelief, eyeing John Heavens. Michael, in the meantime, who slowly rises to his feet on the floor, appears displeased, as well.

Winner: Julian Brown

Security Guard: I'm sorry but Mr. Page can not confirm you are under employment and refuses to grant you permission to enter. I even gave him your ring name, The Jason Show.

DJ Sancho: Not "The Jason Show." It's D.J. SanCHO. He probably misunderstood you. Get him back on the radio and tell him you made a mistake.

The security guard mutters something under his breath and gets back on the radio and it isn't before long when Corey Page's unmistakeable drunken voice slurs over the receiver, embedded in static...

Corey Page: DJ Sancho?! You let that wetback know that until he comes accompanied by Johnnyboy, he is NOT TO SET FOOT EVER AGAIN IN A SIN WRESTLING ARENA, with a ticket or noooot! And to tell Johnnyboy that he will be hearing from me and my lawyers and I will be pressing charges for breach of contract and if he doesn't scram right now, I'll have him arrested for tresssssssspassssssssssssing! God, I'm such a lightweight.

Security Guard: Uh, sir, you're still on the receiver.

Corey Page: FUCK OFF!

The sound of clicking is heard, asCorey hangs up. Meanwhile, the security guard goes to tell DJ Sancho, but by now, DJ has a 40 yard head-start, as he high-tails it away from the warehouse.

Corey Page: Sfwhath.... the.... shhhhhhellllllllllll....

Corey manages to sputter out some slurred words in between hiccups and taking another swig from his container.

Easter Bunny: I want out of my contract! This place is too violent for me!

In front of Corey, The Easter Bunny rips up a sheet of paper, presumably his contract with Sin Wrestling.

Corey Page: Ooouhhhhh... kay...

The Easter Bunny walks away, in a fuss, leaving Corey Page behind.

Corey Page: Lonellly... I'm sooooooooooooooo looooooooonellly...

The image fades out, last showing Corey Page hiccuping.

Buck Travis: "Main Event: Team Wifey vs Team Hall of Fame." Now with a name like Team Hall of Fame, I can't lose. If I'm shootin' to manage a tag team, I'm going for the best, especially seein' as they look to be takin' on a couple of gals. This is the kinda break ol' Buck could use right about now.

Oblivious to the fact Team Hall of Fame's members, Casanova and Destiny Daniels are teaming up for one night only, Buck Travis has targeted his first tag team. Just by coincidence, one half of Team Hall of Fame is in Buck Travis' vicinity and not one to waste any time, Buck is quick to make acquaintances.

Buck Travis: Why, Howdy Mr. Casanova. I reckon your name has something to do with the fact you're gonna be in the middle of three broads in the Main Event. With a reputation like your own, I bet you get your share of wrestling with girls, SIN Wrestling or not.

Casanova: What's your agenda, pal?

Buck Travis: I ain't never been one for agendas, see? I'm here on account of your best interests. It's absolutely clear you and Ms. Daniels are THE tag team in SIN Wrestling but athleticism can only take you so far. You're the brawn, she's the beauty, but who's the brains? That's where ol' Buck comes in. Now, because I know you have the goods, I'ma cut you the deal of a lifetime. I'm offerin' my services to you at a 25% rate of all earnings, I will take your tag team to the top!

Casanova: [laughing] Look, pal, you're looking for a tag team. I'm not a tag wrestler. I'm only in it for myself. Destiny Daniels is just a means to an end, and that's burying the Wifeys. That's the bottom line. Get lost.

Buck Travis: So ya don't fancy yourself a tag team 'rassler. I can respect that... I mean, I never fancied myself for a guy who would team up with a mexican. But I did, and look where that got me... I mean, what I'm sayin' is, I'm flexible.

Casanova: And I'm flexible in demeanor, which is why you're still standing right now. The answer is no. Step off, or get laid to waste.

Travis starts to back away slowly, and continues to make a good safe distance as he speaks.

Buck Travis: Whoa pardner, I ain't fixin' to get in any fisticuffs. That's why I'ma tryin' to find managerial clients, saavy? I can see this ain't the best time to be negotiatin', but you see this belt buckle? That's for winnin' the All-Around at the Mountain West Rodeo Champeenship -- back in 1984. I mean, I know talent. But I'll be respectful-like and give you your space. I mean, if ya change your mind. Buck Travis will consider takin' ya under his wing.

Not amused one bit, Casanova stares a hole through Buck Travis who's quick enough to notice this is getting nowhere.

Buck Travis: Well sure, I understand. Talk it over with Ms. Daniels and when ya'll decide this be the best course of action, we'll have us a pow-wow. Also, realize my 25% cut IS negotiable as I'm willing to go up to 30% if need be. Just so ya know, Buck Travis always goes the extra mile for his talent.

Casanova sort of flinches towards Travis and Buck gets the hint and walks away quickly.

Buck Travis: [to himself] Got 'em eatin' outta yer hand, Buck! It's just a matter of time.

Fade out.

Purity Title Match -- 2/3 Falls; No Rope Breaks

Xander Gates vs. Dan Black

Steve Hebert: Purest fucking guy ever.

Lex Robinson: Oh yeah?

Steve Hebert: He'll clean this guy Xander Gates with Lysol.

Lex Robinson: ...Making sense, I see. Just then, "Death March" by Black Label Society strikes the speakers, thus bringing out Xander Gates, who is dressed in a black priest's robe. Standing atop the entrance, he basks in the hatred of the fans, who continue to jeer him as he makes his way towards the ringside area. Once he rolls in, he walks into a corner to keep picking on the fans, waiting for his match to commence.

Steve Hebert: How exactly do you say "Xander" anyway? "Zander?" "Exander?" "X-Ander?"

Lex Robinson: How exactly do you say Hebert? "He-bert?" "Hey-bert?" "Eh-Bear"?

Steve Hebert: You just said it.

Lex Robinson: What?

Steve Hebert: Hebert.

Lex Robinson: You just said Xander.

Steve Hebert: No. No!

Lex Robinson: You did!

Steve Hebert: No. We're reading. I mean. We're writing. I mean, we're pieces of writing. I mean. They're reading. I mean. Yeah. You're reading.

Lex Robinson: Who?

Steve Hebert: Fuck you.

Lex Robinson: ...And down to ringside we go!

The bell rings and the two competitors stare each other down and circle the ring for a moment before locking shoulders. Xander Gates takes the early advantage, turning the lock-up into a headlock. Black fights it for a moment and then attempts to push Gates off him, but Gates holds on and drags Dan Black with him to the ropes, shaking his head at the fans.

Lex Robinson: And Xander Gates shakes his head at the fans as they send a mixed reaction back in his direction!

Steve Hebert: Yo...gurt. Yog.....ert.

Lex Robinson: Wha...What the hell are you reading?

Steve Hebert: Nothing.

Lex Robinson: Is that a Phonics book?

Steve Hebert: Hey look at that!

Lex Robinson: And as Xander messed with the crowd, Dan Black breaks free from the head-lock and goes for a quick roll-up pin...

...1...2...!

Xander gets out after a quick 2.

Lex Robinson: Just a reminder folks, this bout is for the Purity title, which means no rope breaks and the first to two-falls wins.

Steve Hebert: Too f'n long.

Black and Gates get back to their feet and lock shoulders again, this time Black grabs a headlock, but Gates immediately pushes him backwards into the ropes and launches him off the move. Dan Black swings off the opposite set of ropes and flips over Xander as he ducks, but Black holds onto Gates legs and tries to pull Gates down. Gates outsmarts his opponent though by rapping his calves around Black's head as he falls, and turns, applying sitting head-scissors on him.

Steve Hebert: Oh no! It's the Mandible Cock!

Lex Robinson: No, it's a simple head-scissors hold. Black responds with a "No!" vehemently to the submission request and the hold is broken by Gates. The two struggle back to their feet and trade punches towards the center of the ring. Black wins this exchange and delivers a boot to the gut of Xander, now lifting him for a snap suplex and yes! Beautifully executed.Steve Hebert: Mmm.. Pure.

Lex Robinson: Mmm?

Steve Hebert: Mmm.. Yogurt.

Lex Robinson: Gates and Black are back to their feet, no. Dan Black looks to take the advantage with a DDT and he hits it! Oh man. What a DDT. Wow, look at Gates, though, determined, he gets right back to his feet. But Dan Black kicks him in the gut hits another DDT, which sends Xander Gates rolling to the outside of the ring!

Steve Hebert: He was dropped on his head, twice. You know what means, don't you?

Lex Robinson: What?

Steve Hebert: It's concussion city time!

Lex Robinson: Gates slams the canvas from the outside in utter contempt and looks on in frustration, as Black propels himself off the ropes and leaps over them, splashing right into Xander's arms, both men crashing to the floor. Black rolls his opponent back into the ring and goes for a cover!

...1...2...

Steve Hebert: Hell no! Xander Gates kicks out, again!

Lex Robinson: Black stands up and slaps the mat in his own frustration. He then pulls Gates to the center of the ring and applies a Boston Crab.

Steve Hebert: Holy pure! So pure! Break him in half! Lex, that's the purest thing I've ever seen!

Lex Robinson: Holy fuckbeans is right, Steve! A great Boston Crab here by Dan Black, a pure submission move and Gates is trapped. He's crawling toward the ropes, folks, but this is a Purity title match and the ropes can't save him. He may be forced to submit for the first-fall of this bout, though.

Xander Gates continues to crawl and yes, he's got the ropes. He's screaming for the Referee to break the hold, but the referee reminds him that the hold doesn't have to be broken. Xander Gates is slamming his fist into the mat now, in sheer frustration.

Steve Hebert: Holy shit! He's powering out of it. Gates is exhibiting tremendous strength here, pushing himself up and curling underneath the maneuever to break free of it!

Lex Robinson: In the process of doing that, Dan Black was launched backwards and is tied up in the ropes!

Xander Gates lays on the canvas, trying to regain some adrenaline in his system as the referee struggles to break Dan Black free of the ropes. Finally, Black is freed, but Gates has just gotten to his feet and he grabs his opponent for a belly-to-belly suplex. He hangs on and delivers another! And another! And another! Four belly-to-belly suplexes in a row!

Lex Robinson: Dear God, look at all of those suplexes!

Steve Hebert: Ack! Xander pulls Black back to his feet, but Black hits a low blow which the referee didn't catch. Phew! That's good to see. No more of that homo being gentleman stuff.

Lex Robinson: Getting back to his feet, Black swings a forearm at Gates, who ducks and turns quickly, hitting a superkick as they both fall to the mat again.

The two struggle to get to their feet and beat the referee's count, and as they do, Dan Black crawls over to the corner, and juggles his hands through his tights. He seems to be grabbing for something, and sure enough, he pulls out a pair of brass knuckles.

Lex Robinson: What is Black doing?!

Steve Hebert: Nothing! He's just masturbating!

Lex Robinson: Bull-shit! Those are brass knuckles! And here comes Xander Gates -- but oh! Jesus Christ. Dan Black plows him in the kisser with those brass knuckles and Xander Gates is grounded, he's out cold!

Steve Hebert: Nonsense! That was the purest hit ever! From the purest man, ever. So pure that was. What a punch. Pure!! Pure! PURE!

Lex Robinson: But look at this... the referee know's something is up and asks Black to show him his hands. Yes, the referee has caught Black with the brass knuckles and he's signaling for the bell. That's a disqualification. It's 1-0 in this bout, Xander Gates!

Steve Hebert: Fuck.

Xander Gates: 1; Dan Black: 0

Lex Robinson: But Gates is still out cold, as we start for the second fall here, and Black falls on him for the pinfall. The referee looks hesitant, but he has no choice. He has to cover...

Steve Hebert: Haha, genius! Xander Gates wasn't able to recover from the brass knuckles shot!

The referee starts the count...

...1...2...3!

Xander Gates: 1; Dan Black: 1

Steve Hebert: It's all tied-up! The next fall wins it! Things are looking good for Dan Black, too!

Dan Black stands up for a moment, giving himself a round of applause to a chorus of boos. He then lays down again as the match restarts and the referee is forced to go down again for a pinfall on Gates, who remains unconscious.

Steve Hebert: Hahaha, Xander Gates is still out and Dan Black is going to try it, again!

Lex Robinson: This is horrible!

Steve Hebert: Count, referee, count!

...1...2...!

Lex Robinson: No! Xander Gates gets his shoulder up! The same trick wasn't able to work twice for Dan Black! And I'm thankful for that!

Giving Dan Black a few shots in the abdomen, Xander attempts to rise first, as he sends some punches to Dan's adbdomen. Surprisingly, Xander is up first and he then whips Black off the ropes. AsDan Black returns, Xander ducks, trying for a backdrop, but Black is aware of this and goes for a big kick to the face! However, Gates blocks that and spins Black around, landing a span wheel kick! Getting back up, Xander then goes for a Figure-4 leglock!

Lex Robinson: This could be it, folks. Black looks like he has no choice but to submit. But first, his shoulders are down, the referee is counting a pin, while Xander also has the submission applied...!

...1...2...

Steve Hebert: No! Dan gets his shoulder up! Now all he needs is to get out of this goddamn submission hold.

Lex Robinson: His shoulders are down, again!

...1...2...!

Steve Hebert: No!

Lex Robinson: They're down again!

1....2...!

Steve Hebert: Like I said before: no!

Lex Robinson: Using his arms and torso, Black is swaying himself and Xander Gates back and forth, trying to get momentum to flip the two over and reverse the hold... and... he gets it... but he breaks it as soon as he flips him over. Why would he d that? He could have had Xander Gates then and there!

Steve Hebert: Too pure for that shit.

As the two climb back to their feet again, Gates looks to go for another superkick, but Black ducks his head out of the way in time and catches the flying foot. Gates is looking for another spinning heel kick, but just as he does, Dan Black pulls him in by the leg and hits a snap DDT. Gates rolls over to the corner and tries to gain his bearings on one knee. Seeing this, Black goes over to the corner and gives Xander Gates a few boots to the gut, then shoves him between his thighs and signals for his finisher.

Steve Hebert: Fuck yes!

Lex Robinson: This could be it, folks! Dan Black has Xander Gates primed for The Hospitalizer. He flips him up, and Gates is struggling and squriming, he looks like he's going to get out of it...no! Black hits it. He goes for the pinfall!

...1...2...3!

Steve Hebert: That's it! Dan Black is the new Purity Champion! Pure! Woo! Yeah! Pure!

Lex Robinson: I don't believe it!

Steve Hebert: Believe it! Xander Gates' reign is over! Let's begin the Purity reign of Dan Black!

Being awarded the Purity Title, Dan Black stands to his feet, looking down at Xander Gates, who remains folded up in the ring. Smiling at what he has just caused, Dan Black exits the ring, holding his newfound title tight and exits past the black curtain. Xander Gates, meanwhile, sits up, looks on in disbelief and then walks to the back, getting a cheer from the fans.

Winner: Dan Black

Ace Rodgers: Dan! Congrats on becoming the new Purity Champ! Now that you hold the title, what are your first orders of business?

Dan Black stops. In doing so, Xander Gates passes through the black curtain, as well, looking saddened by his loss. He calmly stares down Dan Black, but then walks away, feeling defeated. Now alone, Dan smirks and laughs to himself.

Dan Black: Heh. With Purity within my grasps, I will make sure it'll never be in the hands of the tainted. I am issuing a challenge to all fake-ass, gimmick-ridden competition. Whether you're a goth, a wigger or a vampire, I will destroy you. Purity will always be mine.

Shoving Ace to the side, Dan Black walks off, clutching his new title in his hands.

Buck Travis: [to himself] Now I need talent. Somebody I can mold into a superstar. I need someone who will have my back when the chips are down. Aw hell, who you think you're kiddin' ol cowpoke... you need anybody. Well there, ain't that Shane Donovan?

Buck Travis walks up to Donovan...

Buck Travis: Now, I don't believe we've been properly introduced. Name's Buck Travis.

Buck Travis sticks out his hand and Donovan stands there, looking annoyed. Travis pulls back his hand.

Buck Travis: Well then.

Shane Donovan: Do you have a purpose, old man?

Buck Travis: Well, now that you mention it, I was figgerin' on offerin' you up the opportunity of a lifetime.

Shane Donovan: Really?

Buck Travis: I am offerin' you the opportunity to learn up close and personal just what it takes to be a champeen. So whaddya say, pardner? Wanna join up and start a new tag team with me?

Buck Travis smiles out from the corners of his moustache, but seems honestly shocked at Donovan's reaction.

Shane Donnovan: Already got a partner that's better than you ever were or could hope to be, just wait and see.

Old timer Travis, the eternal optimist, sees an opportunity.

Buck Travis: Well, maybe you'd be interested in utilizin' my managerial talents.

Shane Donovan looks absolutely disgusted.

Shane Donovan: If all goes to plan soon, guys like you won't even be allowed in the damn arena. Now if you'll excuse me, I have business to attend to.

Shane Donovan walks away, as he leaves Buck's sight. Travis speaks, in conversational tones.

Buck Travis: Well, I didn't think you looked like much-a anything anyway, kid. Prolly couldn't even put your own derned boots on. You'll rue the day you passed up on this once in a lifetime deal.

Buck Travis puts his hands on his hips.

Buck Travis: I can't find any-damned-body... what the hell happened to Johnny anyway?

Buck Travis appears almost fed-up, as he shrugs his shoulders, wanting to find someone.

Ace Rodgers: Konstantin Bryzg--... guy with Brody Reno, can I ask you some quick questions?

Konstantin quickly turns around, his face bright red with anger and lets out a loud bellow right in Ace's face. In response, Ace lets out a yelp, drops his microphone and runs the other direction, like a scared child.

Brody Reno: That was really uncalled for, Konstantin. You realize Ace Rodgers is a journalist. Maybe not a good one, but he still is a journalist who could have gotten us more attention!

Brody keeps complaining to the large Russian, but Konstantin is not listening. Instead, he is carefully folding up a Russian flag, singing the Russian anthem to himself.

Konstantin Bryzgalov: I think we should show my opponents some class after they lose. We can cover them in a real flag, not that rag called the stars and stripes. They can listen to a real anthem, not that Star Spangled Banner joke. But most of all, after the match, they can see a real champion -- a champion like Konstantin Bryzgalov, Lust Champion!

Brody Reno: Whatever you want. But seriously, I know you hate America and all, but can you just calm down the hate when you are in front of your AMERICAN manager?

Konstantin rolls his eyes at his manager and walks off, headed towards the entrance area.

Brody Reno: It was only a simple request!

Brody walks away, as well.

The camera pans back, revealing a drunken Corey Page in front of a television set, standing next to the World Champion, Morgana. Corey remains slouched over, looking depressed and sour, while Morgana jumps for joy, full of glee over the victory of the Maple Leafs.

Morgana: They did it! They did it!

Morgana's bouncing forces the jersey to crumple a bit, showing signs of the World Title strapped to her waist. Corey, meanwhile, takes another swig from his container of liquor.

Corey Page: Whhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhy? Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy? Wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwhy?

Morgana: There, there; you always have next year.

Corey Page: I sch-hate the world. I want to die!

Morgana: Don't be such a Flame.

Corey Page: Flame is dead! Burnt to a crisssssssssssshp ! I want to be Flamed!

Sulking, Corey Page walks away, while Morgana hums to herself.

Morgana: HERE I AM! ROCK YOU LIKE A MORGY!

She smirks and looks at the television, enjoying the Leafs celebrate on TV.

Morgana: Every thing's coming up Morgy!

She flips the switch and the television turns off.

Lust Title -- No DQ; Falls Count Anywhere

Pain vs. David Cage vs. Paradox vs. Konstantin Bryzgalov

At this moment, Konstantin Bryzgalov comes marching out from the entrance, down to the ring in a ring jacket, with Brody Reno following behind him. He quickly gets to the end of the aisle and stands there.

Finally, Konstantin rips off his ring jacket and rolls into the ring.

Lex Robinson: With Konstantin Bryzgalov’s entrance, we’re getting ready to start our four way match for the vacant Lust Title…put the kids to bed folks, this one’s gonna be nasty.

Steve Hebert: Fuck the kids…it’s time to get drunk on the bodily fluids of other men!

Lex Robinson: …

Steve Hebert: Blood, you dolt. Blood. The manliest of all fluids.

Lex Robinson: Right…

A video begins to play as the crowd roars in approval. Then the song "Murder is Masturbation" by Nothingface hits and a voice is heard.

The lights dim.

Pyro goes off as the man himself, David Cage, emerges from behind the curtain. He stands at the top of the ramp for a few seconds before calmly walking to the ring. He gets in and waits for his opponent. "Murder is Masturbation" fades away.

Steve Hebert: Next!

Lex Robinson: Not impressed by David Cage?

Steve Hebert: In a word…no.

"I'm So Sick" By Flyleaf begins to blast over the loud speakers, as shots of the wrestler known as Paradox can be seen on the screen. The lights begin to flash throughout the arena, while Paradox runs down the ramp, leaving behind a trail of fire in his steps. Beating the flame to the ring, he slides under the bottom rope, gets to his feet and stands near the corner, as a bright red light shines over the arena.

Steve Hebert: Who does that idiot think he is…Hal Jordan?

Lex Robinson: What?

Steve Hebert: If you’ve got the gall to race fire to the ring, you’d damn well better be able to explain the mishaps on some stupid yellow bug.

Lex Robinson: You’re incomprehensible.

Steve Hebert: I’m bored as hell! Let’s get this match started!

Pain comes out with his fists in the air, with "Here Comes the Pain" by Slayer playing on the speakers. He looks around at the crowd, drops his fists and heads down the ramp. Down here, he runs and and slides in, raising his fists into the air onceagain,before leaning against the ropes, waiting for his match to start.

Steve Hebert: Finally…

Lex Robinson: These four men are ready to fight for the vacated Lust Title…four men, no disqualification, one title on the line…

Steve Hebert: So ring the fuckin’ bell already!

As per request, the bell rings. The four men in the ring size each other up…before the ring explodes in a fury of punches. Konstantin Bryzgalov takes a wild swing, but Pain ducks. Paradox and David Cage rush over and double clothesline Bryzgalov out of the ring…and Pain follows up with a baseball slide, knocking the Russian into the front row!

Lex Robinson: What an opening flurry of moves!

On the outside of the ring, Pain follows Konstantin and delivers a chop that smacks through the warehouse. Bryzgalov grimaces, allowing Pain to charge him, but the huge Russian picks his opponent up and drops him throat first onto an open chair!

Steve Hebert: In Mother Russia…chair sits on you!

Lex Robinson: Oy vey…

Konstantin grabs Pain by the arm and whips him headlong into the steel ring steps, which he rams into full speed! Bryzgalov takes a running start…a Yakuza kick CRUSHES Pain’s skull against the steps! The Russian makes the cover, and the referee slides to the outside to make the count.

Lex Robinson: A cover is being made...

Steve Hebert: Oh boy...

...1...2...

Lex Robinson: Kickout!

Steve Hebert: Ah, goddamnit.

Lex Robinson: Almost had a new champ early!

Steve Hebert: If the ref didn’t take so long, they’d be partying in Red Square…and I’d be there. Russian women are loose.

In the ring, David Cage brawls with Paradox, landing a few right hands before going for a huge right hand that he ducks! Paradox locks his arms around Cage’s waist, going for a German Suplex, but Cage responds with elbows to the head, battering Paradox off of him. Cage runs off the ropes and slides out of the ring, through Paradox’s legs! Cage barely has time to duck before Konstantin Bryzgalov chucks a chair…that connects with Paradox’s head!

Lex Robinson: A one in a million shot!

Konstantin turns around and is NAILED with a stiff superkick that sees the Russian fly onto the announcer’s table. Lex Robinson and Steve Hebert vacate the premise as Cage climbs up onto the apron, measuring Konstantin. Behind him, Pain slides back into the ring and charges, kneeing him in the back! Cage flies towards the announce table, and the Russian rolls off as Cage crash lands damn near the front row!

Steve Hebert: That fucking idiot almost killed me! I should sue!

Konstantin goes for the cover on Cage, but before the referee can get to two, Pain is outside of the ring, breaking up the pin attempt. Pain stomps at Konstantin as he gets up and puts him in a headlocks, raking the eyes for an advantage. Konstantin stumbles out of the headlock and blindly gropes for a weapon, finding one in the front row!

Lex Robinson: He just took a fan’s crutch!

Steve Hebert: For the greater good! Marx would be proud!

Bryzgalov snaps around, swinging the crutch full force, connecting with an unsuspecting Pain, the impact of the swing breaking the crutch to splinters!

Lex Robinson: That crutch shot has busted Pain wide open!

Steve Hebert: I guess that’s ironic, considering Pain’s idiotic ring name.

The Russian wipes at his eyes and goes under the ring apron, where he comes up with two tables! The top one Bryzgalov slides into the ring, while the bottom table is set up outside the ring. Bryzgalov turns from his work and is BRAINED by a David Cage chair shot! Bryzgalov stumbles, and Cage nails him again! Konstantin backs up against the ring post, dazed, and Cage charges and DESTROYS Bryzgalov with a running chair shot, driving his head into the steel ring post!

Lex Robinson: My GOD what a series of chair shots! Bryzgalov is down and busted open!

Steve Hebert: Not that I like him…but Cage is dealing with this match Detroit style, which I happen to appreciate.

Lex Robinson: What, killing your opponents?

Steve Hebert: More often than not…yes.

Cage falls on top of Bryzgalov for the cover…1…2…broken up by Pain, who picks Cage up and rolls him back into the ring! Cage gets to his feet, and the two men stare down!

Steve Hebert: Detroit vs. St. Louis all over again! Cage is gonna blow this one…

They trade punches in the middle of the ring, right hand for right hand, until Cage gets the advantage and whips Pain into the ropes! Cage telegraphs a back body drop onto a waiting chair, but Pain shifts momentum and brings his opponent down onto the chair with a spike DDT!

Lex Robinson: The HoodRats FaceSmash!

Steve Hebert: Poorly named DDT onto a chair! How ever will David Cage survive???

Lex Robinson: Pain had better cover Cage…he’s got a chance to win the Lust Title!

Pain gets up and eyes the table, forgoing the cover to set that table up in the corner. He does so and turns, only to find a raging, bleeding Russian. Pain looks to attack, but Bryzgalov blocks it and kicks him in the gut. Konstantin sets up for a powerbomb and lifts Pain in the air…before charging and dumping him over the top rope, through the table!

Lex Robinson: MY GOD! PAIN IS DEAD!

Steve Hebert: Really? Didn’t know they made aspirin that strong.

Bryzgalov looks at his handiwork, and is unceremoniously dumped over the top rope by Paradox, who was waiting for his chance to attack! Paradox climbs out onto the ring apron and leaps with a clubbing blow to the powerful Russian. Konstantin returns fire with a few punches of his own, and before long, the two are brawling to the backstage area!

Lex Robinson: David Cage and Pain are both still out, so we’re sending a cameraman to follow Konstantin Bryzgalov and Paradox as they take this fight to what appears to be the catering area…

Paradox kicks Konstantin in the gut and rams his head into a table, before grabbing a fork…

Lex Robinson: Oh no…

Steve Hebert: Oh yes!

Konstantin charges at Paradox, but Paradox is ready with a fork, and with a thrust, an already busted open Konstantin begins to bleed from fresh puncture wounds!

Lex Robinson: The lengths these men will go to become the new Lust Champion!

Paradox goes for another stab, but Bryzgalov catches it and hooks Paradox into the cross face chicken wing! With a roar, Konstantin drives Paradox to a glass fire extinguisher case and rams his head through it!

Steve Hebert: Who would have thought that a hallway fight could be so fucking cool?

Konstantin draws Paradox’s head back and looks to ram it once more, but a mule ick halts that! Paradox wipes away the blood that is running into his eyes before grabbing at the camera man…the camera does a Paradox assisted extreme close-up of Bryzgalov before cutting out to black…

Lex Robinson: Paradox just used the camera as a weapon! We don’t have a video feed back there…

Steve Hebert: Well who in the hell is responsible for that?

It doesn’t seem to matter though, as shortly as spotlight shines on a far corner of the warehouse, where there’s a small ledge overlooking a sea of stacked tables. From out of nowhere, Paradox bursts into view, followed by Konstantin, who looks for a lariat…but Paradox ducks! He turns for the attack, but Konstantin is ready and smacks his hand around Paradox’s throat! The fans start buzzing as Konstantin edges closer to the tables…

Lex Robinson: No…

Steve Hebert: Yes! Kill that sum-bitch!

Konstantin readies himself to chokeslam Paradox, when he’s attacked from behind with a crowbar! The impact of crowbar to skull sends both Konstantin and Paradox wobbling…and one more blow to the back of the head sends both men tumbling off the ledge and through the tables below!

Lex Robinson: This is just sick! Who in the hell was that??

The spotlight shines on the man holding the crowbar…Tony Millennia!

Steve Hebert: Yes! Getting revenge on that fucking commie for Over the Top Rope!

Lex Robinson: This is terrible! This match has been tainted…

Steve Hebert: If by “tainted” you mean “been made terribly fucking awesome!”

Millennia ducks backstage as we go to ringside, where Pain is pulling himself up from the wreckage of the powerbomb he had previously suffered. He pulls himself up to the apron and steps through the ropes, but David Cage had also recovered, and had grabbed the chair to boot, which is thrown at and connects with Pain’s skull! Pain stumbles in a daze in front of the table, and Cage charges…driving both knees into Pain’s skull, through the table!

Lex Robinson: If that didn’t kill Pain, I don’t know what will!

Cage gets up and surveys the wreckage before deciding that he hasn’t done enough. The chair in the ring is picked up and placed in the center, and Pain is brought back to his feet. Cage chops at Pain, who stumbles into the ropes. He comes back, and Cage kicks him in the gut and sets him up for the Thunder Valley Death Driver…but Pain counters with a back body drop! Cage lands on his feet and runs at the ropes…Pain turns and sees this, and decides to go for a second back body drop, but Cage has the momentum and carries him over for a devastating flip piledriver on the chair!

Steve Hebert: That’s what will kill Pain. This match is so academic…

Cage hooks the leg, and the ref makes the count...

Lex Robinson: Here we go... the three count is being made, inside of the ring...

...1...2...3!

Lex Robinson: He’s done it! David Cage has won the vacant Lust Title!

Steve Hebert: Yep…now all he needs to do is pin Morgana and earn the fuckin’ thing!

The referee hands Cage his hard earned title, and he thrusts it in the air, covered in blood belonging to him and his opponents, in the midst of total carnage. Four men entered, and tonight, David Cage was the only one good enough to emerge with Championship gold.

Winner: David Cage

Voice Inside Flower Pot: Psssst.

Looking around, confused, Adora finally realizes that the whispering is coming from inside of the flower pot.

Adora: What... the... hell...?

Voice: Pssst... Adora...

From inside of the pot, out rises Mr. Hwang, Adora's former high school teacher, who is still stalking the Television Champion. Surprised, Adora steps back, watching as Mr. Hwang steps out of the pot.

Mr. Hwang: Please be my wifey, kekekeke.

He grabs her hand, trying to give her some kissies. She pulls back, yanking her hand away from him.

Adora: I said "No!", Mr. Hwang! No means no!

Mr. Hwang: But... but... but...

Adora: No!

Having rejected Mr. Hwang, Adora shoves him away and then walks off.

Mr. Hwang: But I want some Adora poon!

Step by step, Mr. Hwang takes several steps back, only to bump into Casanova, who is also headed towards the entrance. Unlike the last time we saw Casanova, there's a major difference; he seems spaced out, his mind not clear and his eyes glazed over. Mr. Hwang turns around, seeing Casanova's fangs shining in the gloomy lights.

Mr. Hwang: Why, hello there.

Flicking his fangs with his tongue, Casanova grabs Mr. Hwang by the shirt and pulls him away.

Mr. Hwang: Waahhhhhhhhhhhh! Don't hurt me! I have AIDS!

Off-screen, the screaming shrieks of terror can be heard from Mr. Hwang, as blood spurts on the side of the warehouse wall.

Corey Page: Sch-What is it, Bucky? You know, you're getting wayyyyyyyyy more of my time than any "C" level talent should, you knows?

Buck Travis: I ain't "C" level talent. More like a high A minus if ya ask'd me.

Corey Page: I shhhhhhhhhh--didn't.

Buck Travis: Well, I just came to letcha know that this here search ain't been as easy as I'd 'spected.

Corey Page: I'ma so shockeddd.

Buck Travis' optimistic nature causes him to gloss over the sarcasm.

Buck Travis: That's per-cisely what I thunk!

Corey Page: Well, Buck. Here's what I "Thunk." I "thunk" that you and your new tag team are going to be booked for our next show. That's what I "Thunk." Now get me a drink!

Buck Travis: Well naw... I mean, holdup a gawd-danged minute.

Corey Page: No, Buck, you'll take on, uhh... what was I saying?

Buck Travis: You were giving me a match, I thunk.

Corey Page: Oh yeah! You will be facing... Leah Petrelli, who I think is related to some character on TV or something; and you will face *******! Now where's my du-rink?

Buck Travis: Not *******!

Yes, the name is bleeped out. Buck Travis seems a little miffed, but he squints a little, frowns and walks out. He talks to himself.

Buck Travis: Hmph... I'll gon' and show him!

Buck Travis storms off.

Lex Robinson: Wow! Oh my!

Steve Hebert: What? What is it? Let me see!

Steve tries to grab it out of Lex's hand, ala a child, but Lex wafts him away.

Lex Robinson: It says right here, thatstarting next week, on the next edition of Eternity, we are starting the "GOin' For The Gold!" tournament.

Steve Hebert: What the Jesus is that?

Lex Robinson: Basically, it's a number one contenders tournament; and it'll feature the likes of -- get this -- a returning Nikita!; A returning Arran Hayden!; A returning Trent Turner!; Casanova!; Destiny Daniels!; Tony Millennia!; Julian Brown!; Glen Fischer!; and a whole lot more!

Steve Hebert: Amazing.

Lex Robinson: You sound so enthused.

Steve Hebert: Believe me, I am.

Lex Robinson: Eternity, for the next few weeks, will have each round of the tournament, until there is finally a winner!

Steve Hebert: And the winner will face Morgana -- or whoever will be the champion, right?

Lex Robinson: That's right.

Steve Hebert: Cool.

The camera then switches to the entrance way.

Tag Team Match -- Team Wifey vs. Team Hall of Fame

Morgana/Adora vs. Casanova/Destiny Daniels

the
destiny
show

Destiny whispers, "Your destiny awaits." and the music, "Sweet Sacrifice" by Evanescence fades in harshly, cranked up to its highest setting possible.

it's true: we're all a little insane
but it's so clear...
now that i'm unchained

Destiny emerges from the back. accompanied by security guards and there is no snake atop her shoulders.

fear is only in our minds
but it's taking over all the time
you poor sweet innocent thing, dry your eyes
and testify! you know you live to break me
don't deny
sweet sacrifice

She slides into the ring, the guards' eyes never leaving her body. She tests the ropes, motions for her music to be cut, and spits at the guards at ringside. They threaten her inaudibly as the music dies down.

destiny
fulfilled

Lex Robinson: It's main event time! A first time ever match, too! We have two Hall of Famers, Casanova and Destiny Daniels, who seems a little edgier since the last time we saw her; and they will be going against Team Wifey, featuring the World and Television Champs, Morgana and Adora.

Steve Hebert: The last time we saw Destiny Daniels, her left leg was almost being broken in two.

Lex Robinson: You have to wonder if it's fully healed.

Steve Hebert: I sure hope so. It's been -- what -- 4 months? Jesus, she's not a leper, is she?

Lex Robinson: Nonetheless, those types of injuries take a while to heal.

Steve Hebert: Pfffft.

The attention of everyone in the warehouse filters to the entrance section, awaiting the arrival of Casanova. Seconds turn into minutes, and soon enough, impatience grows to a maximum level.

Steve Hebert: Uhhh... hmmm...

Lex Robinson: This is odd.

Steve Hebert: Isn't someone else supposed to, uh, you know, enter?

Lex Robinson: Casanova is supposed to be here; but... uh... he's not.

Steve Hebert: I can see that! Or... maybe I can't see that... or something.

Lex Robinson: Where the hell is he?

Steve Hebert: Who gives a shit? Let's get this thing rolling.

Lex Robinson: Uhm... I guess we'll just bring out Team Wifey, then. Uh, come on out, Adora and Morgana.

Steve Hebert: Don't tell them what to do!

Steve Hebert: So many Wifeys!

Lex Robinson: Keep it in your pants, Steve.

Steve Hebert: I'm trying.

About halfway down the ramp, a third figure emerges from behind the curtain and steamrolls towards Adora and Morgana, holding something in his hands.

Steve Hebert: Who or what the...

Lex Robinson: It's Casanova!

Steve Hebert: About time... although, he is a tad late.

Lex Robinson: And he has a bucket in his hand. What is he doing?

Creeping behind both ladies, Casanova holds the bucket up, about ready to fling the contents at Adora, who is still walking behind Morgana. Overhearing his footsteps over the roaring of the crowd, Adora turns around, facing Casanova, who is heaving the contents towards Adora, who drops down, hoping to avoid whatever is inside.

Lex Robinson: Adora drops out of the way! Instead, Morgana is splashed in... in... what is that?

Steve Hebert: Is that blood? I think that's blood! It is blood! Animal blood!

Lex Robinson: Oh my God! It's well noted that Adora is a animal rights activist, so this act is just cruel and demonizing! Who the hell would do that?

Steve Hebert: Casanova seems out of it.

Lex Robinson: To hell with Casanova. Think of Morgana, who is covered in that stinky, dreadful, red liquid! My Jesus merciful!

Horrified, Morgana is unable to shield herself from an incoming attack from Casanova, who uses the white bucket to smash against the side of her head. As she stumbles back, in a mess of animal blood, her face is smashed off Casanova's fist, thus allowing him to grab her pink hair, which is now soeaked in the red liquid, and whip her into an entrance barricade!

Lex Robinson: Our World Champ has been blindsided and covered in filthy animal blood!

Steve Hebert: Yeah, but he tried to hit Adora with it, which would have just been ironic... and hilarious!

Lex Robinson: I think otherwise.

Steve Hebert: Of course you would. C'mon, it's laughtastic.

Lex Robinson: Standing over Morgana, the World Champion, Casanova feels a taste of his own medicine, as Adora decides to come up behind him and blast him with a vicious rabbit-chop to the back of his neck. Gaining the vampire's attention, the former World Champ whips around, going eye-to-eye with Adora, who goes to throw another chop at him. This time, he is able to see her attack; and thus, he uses his left arm to block her hand. He reciprocates her attack by throttling her throat with his right hand and then headbutts her, making her groggy. After bashing her face off the entrance area, he drags her to the ringside area, where Destiny Daniels has been watching things unfold.

Steve Hebert: Funny; she hasn't moved an inch. What a bitch.

Lex Robinson: I guess she'd rather Casanova do the work. I don't know.

Steve Hebert: Typical lazy women. Women should only bake cakes and spread their legs.

Lex Robinson: What a sad, sad man you are.

Having been thrown into the ring, making the match officially start, Adora runs right into a kick to the chest from Destiny Daniels, who tries to furiously stomp the Television Champion down.

Lex Robinson: The former Television Champ is stomping the life out of Adora, the current Televison Champ, trapping her on the ground, keeping Adora in a stalled position. Unable to move, Adora remains easy prey for Casanova, who also manages to slip into the ring, joining Destiny Daniels in kicking and stomping away on Adora.

Steve Hebert: She's not saving the whales now, is she? Hell no, she's getting the snot kicked out of her. And what sexy snot it is.

Lex Robinson: Casanova and Destiny pluck Adora off the canvas and take turns to unload some kicks to her stomach; Destiny giving Adora some martial arts kick, which would surely mirror the kicks Adora would love to unleash right now.

Steve Hebert: That won't be happening any time soon. As it looks right now, Destiny and Casanova have Adora barred against the ropes, continuing an all-out assault of chops and kicks onto her. They both whip her into the opposite set of ropes; and when she returns, she runs straight towards Destiny Daniels...

Lex Robinson: But Adora goes for a tilt-a-whirl headscissors on Destiny...!

Steve Hebert: She's can't follow through, though. She cannot follow through because Casanova holds her up, keeping Adora elevated in the air, while Adora's legs remain on Destiny's shoulders! They throw Adora high up into the air...

Lex Robinson: She somersaults through, twirling her body around! On her way down, she gives a huracanrana to Casanova, taking him down with the Lady Godiva Blues, completely surprising him! The referee starts his count...!

Steve Hebert: Holy shit, how did she do that?!

On top of Casanova, Adora hooks down his legs, hoping for a quick victory.

Lex Robinson: The referee counts...

...1...2...

Steve Hebert: Before the three is made, Destiny Daniels circles around to Adora's front and unloads on her face with a seriously wicked martial arts kick! Forget saving the whales; Adora will have to focus on saving her teeth!

Lex Robinson: Surprisingly showing an aura of aide between Casanova, someone whom she has never tagged with before, Destiny helps the vamp up to his feet and points towards Adora, who is holding her mouth, making sure all of her teeth are still there.

Steve Hebert: If not, she's going to give excellent headjobs.

Destiny and Casanova pummel Adora some more, resulting in Casanova pulling Adora in to a standing headscissors hold. Hoisting her up into a powerbomb position, he leaves her stalled on his shoulders, while Destiny Daniels speeds towards the ropes, springboards off the middle rope and flies back, delivering a spinning roundhouse kick to Adora's face, while Casanova delivers the powerbomb.

Lex Robinson: What a combination of moves!

Steve Hebert: These two really are doing good, so far. Who would have thought that these two would be able to get along so well?!

Lex Robinson: Not I, that's for sure.

Casanova's and Destiny's current dominance may not last for much longer, as Morgana finally shakes off the cobwebs from the earlier attack and runs to the ring, sliding inside and ducks underneath a clothesline attempt from Casanova, who tries to decapitate the World Champion.

Lex Robinson: Here's Morgy!

Steve Hebert: Finally. What was she doing back there, while covered in blood? Was she getting a perm? Another dye-job? Was she getting her nails done?!

Lex Robinson: After ducking Casanova's arm, Morgana struts forward and leaps into the air, connecting with a spin wheel kick to Destiny Daniels, knocking her off her feet. The World Champ then springs back up and retains her focus on Casanova, who again lurches towards her. Again, Morgy ducks another attack, using this time to sneak behind Cas, jump onto his shoulders and then Victory Roll him!

Steve Hebert: Oh no, Casanova isn't going to allow that to happen! He stops her from tucking between his legs and...

Lex Robinson: Using her hands, she springs back up onto Casanova's shoulders and flips back, giving him a reverse huracanrana!

Steve Hebert: Oh Jesus, she just drived him head first into the canvas! And now he rolls out of the ring, which is probably the smartest thing to do, quite frankly.

Lex Robinson: A bloodstained Morgana checks on Adora, helping the Television champion and her wifey up to her feet. That blood, of course, isn't her own, either. That blood is the remnants of random dead animals. One can only wonder how Casanova obtained it.

Steve Hebert: Hopefully from some rats. Goddamn, do I ever hate rats.

On the floor, both Destiny Daniels and Casanova recouperate, trying to figure out what just happened. Sadly, their rest doesn't last that long, as both Adora and Morgana speed towards the ring ropes and do a double-team suicide dive to the floor; Morgana catching Casanova on her way down with a tornado DDT onto the floor, while Adora performs a somersault senton over the the top rope, only to turn it into a huracanrana onto the floor!

Lex Robinson: Good lord!

Steve Hebert: Out here, on the floor, A-whorea and Whoregana team up to take out Casanova, sending him double to the cold floor, thanks to Adora pushing Morgana into the air, and then having her huracanrana him on her way down! This is awful.

Lex Robinson: A-whorea and Whoregana?

Steve Hebert: You heard me.

Lex Robinson: So much for originality.

Steve Hebert: So much for you not being a douchebag.

Lex Robinson: With only Destiny left in their sight, Adora and Morgy pick her up by her hair and slide her inside, quick to follow after her. Both Wifeys take their turn with double-teaming; as Adora and Morgana whip Destiny into the ropes, only to have her bounce back and toss her into the air with a high backdrop! On top of that, Adora and Morgana go to seperate corners and climb to the top turnbuckle.

Steve Hebert: Come to think of it, I hope this entire building collapses and kills everyone inside.

Lex Robinson: Gee, thanks.

Steve Hebert: Ah, cheer up. Your Wifeys are about to fly off the top rope.

Lex Robinson: Damn right they are! Just as Morgana launches off the top rope, hitting a flying legdrop, Adora leap off the opposite corner, landing on Destiny Daniels with a somersault senton bomb! The cover is being made by Adora...!

Steve Hebert: Oh Jesus.

...1...2...

Lex Robinson: Casanova slides in and breaks the count, as he collapses onto Adora, dropping a knee into the back of her head!

Steve Hebert: Good! I think. Hell, I don't know what to think anymore!

Lex Robinson: It's about damn time, then.

Eventually, the referee is able to restore order, despite Morgana lunging after Casanova, wanting to attack him for what he did earlier. Despite the foul smelling blood dripping off her, the referee is able to drag her back into the corner, while Casanova backbreakers Adora, grabs onto Destiny Daniels, tugs her into the corner and then makes the tag.

Steve Hebert: Hmmm. Now that was crafty. I'll give Casanova an A+ for that one.

Lex Robinson: Wow, I knew Casanova seemed... "out of it", but I didn't realize he'd do something like that. I thought he had more honor than that!

Steve Hebert: Oh, please, this is the same guy that struck his tag partner in the head with a steel chair. You've got to be kidding me.

Lex Robinson: Well...

Steve Hebert: Nuh uh, what I say is true and you know it.

Lex Robinson: I suppose so...

Steve Hebert: The referee turns around, sees Casanova enter the ring and lets it slide. It's obvious he heard the LEGAL tag. Right?

Lex Robinson: Ugh.

Once inside, Casanova hovers over Adora, mouthing some dastardly words to her, which she doesn't take too kindly, as she fires a few elbows and forearms up into his gut. Unfortunately for her, he is able to absorb those blows and turn his attention onto causing damage onto her.

Lex Robinson: Angered at those last few shots, Casanova grabs Adora with two hands, lifting her up by her hair. Hitting her with some knees to the stomach, Casanova flings her across the ring via her hair, laughing as she swings out and sputters to the ground, hungrily licking his fangs as stands over her.

Steve Hebert: What's even worse is that stinky Morgana, who is trying to get into the ring to help Adora. She needs to wisen up and realize she is Casanova's bitch.

Only allowing Adora to a kneeling position, Casanova pops forward, delivering a running kick to the side of Adora's head, keeping her grounded, which is exactly what he wants. Seconding that, he then grabs onto her legs and starts kicking and stomping at them, wishing to eliminate her use of martial arts kicks, as well.

Lex Robinson: Casanova is kicking Adora's legs, hoping to bruise them. If he takes out her legs, not only will it eliminate her martial-arts skills, but it'll also take out her high-flying skills, which could be disastrous for our T.V. champion.

Steve Hebert: Good! Keep the bitch on her back, where she belongs! That's what I say.

Lex Robinson: You're such a charming man.

Steve Hebert: I really am.

Lex Robinson: Having Adora's right leg tucked beneath his armpit, Casanova helps her up, having her standing only on one leg, taunting her and slapping her across the cheek. This is a whole new attitude for Casanova. I wouldn't expect this from him.

Steve Hebert: Learn to love it.

Lex Robinson: Yanking on Adora's right leg, Casanova pulls her in close and then Dragonscrew Legwhips her!

Steve Hebert: That's enough to tork a leg! I like it!

Lex Robinson: He even continues to grasp onto her leg, too. For the second time in a row, Casanova aides Adora in getting to a standing base, slaps her and Dragonscrew Legwhips her, again!

Steve Hebert: Yeah! Do it!

Lex Robinson: That could have twisted Adora's leg out of socket! Not good!

Steve Hebert: Well, I like it, at least.

Lex Robinson: And AGAIN, Casanova helps her up, still with the leg wrenched in his armpit. He pulls her close and... no! Adora delivers an enziguiri kick, blasting Casanova upside the head, forcing him to release her! The fans love that!

Steve Hebert: Well Jesus, I don't like it!

Lex Robinson: Obviously. In any case, Adora is crawling towards Morgana, who reaches out and tags herself in, going right after Casanova, who dumped the filthy animal blood on her!

Hopping in over the top rope, Morgana instantly focuses on Casanova, who is stumbling to his feet, his back turned as she swings him around, facing her. Using her right leg, she kicks Casanova in the stomach, forcing him to hunch over and then grabs onto his neck.

Lex Robinson: That's the Reinventing Timothy Ashton! That's the same move she used to take out Chris Extreme!

Steve Hebert: Agh! He springs back, allowing Destiny Daniels to reach in the ring and tag him out.

Lex Robinson: Seriously. Here comes Destiny, who steps in over the middle rope. She charges at Morgana, who ducks beneath a spinning roundhouse kick from Destiny! Waistlocking Destiny, Morgana tries to push her against the ropes, hoping for an Okana Roll, but to no avail, as Destiny hangs onto the top rope. Going nowhere, Morgana is privy to a back elbow from Destiny, catching her directly in the mouth.

Steve Hebert: It forces Morgana to release the waistlock, too, and that's pretty much all that matters.

Lex Robinson: Definitely. Turning around, Destiny Daniels faces Morgana and starts to unleash some various right-and-left kicks, Destiny's shins striking Morgana's ribcage and stomach.

Steve Hebert: Shades of Adora, too. Except Adora's leg is probably broken thanks to Casanova.

Lex Robinson: We'll see about that. Nevertheless, Destiny has Morgana on the rocks, finishing her off with a leaping spin kick to the jaw, which drops Morgana on her back! Not giving the World Champ a moment's rest, Destiny grabs her by her pink hair and stands her back, only to bring her back down with a snap mare. In this seated position, Morgana lays prone, her back revealed, allowing Destiny to strike her with a flurry of football-kicks to the back!

Steve Hebert: That'll do some good, for sure.

Lex Robinson: Still with Morgana on her rear-end...

Steve Hebert: And what a rear-end!

Lex Robinson: Destiny bounces off the ropes and comes back, leaps into the air and drives adouble-stomp to the back of Morgana's neck! Ouch! Goddamn!

Steve Hebert: If that hurts you, think how much it hurts Morgana!

Lex Robinson: I can imagine.

As Morgana remains hunched over, feeling the back of her neck, Destiny bounces off the opposite set of ropes and comes storming back with aseated dropkick, catching Morgy in the face, knocking her onto her back. Destiny then makes a cover...

Lex Robinson: Here's a pinfall attempt...

Steve Hebert: She's going to pin the World Champ, I just know it!

...1...2...

Lex Robinson: She kicks out, with ease!

Steve Hebert: But where was Adora, huh? Where was she to make the save?

Lex Robinson: She's in her corner, nursing her injured leg.

Steve Hebert: ...Oh. Well, I guess that explains that.

Lex Robinson: Destiny stands up, picking Morgana up with her. Hooking Morgy's left arm around her neck, Destiny hoists her up into a vertical suplex position and looks to drop her across the top rope... but Morgana slips out behind Destiny!

Steve Hebert: Uh ohs.

Lex Robinson: Swinging Destiny around, she kicks the former World Champ in the gut, wraps Destiny's left arm around her head and then lifts her up into a vertical suplex position! This time, Morgana drops Destiny stomach-first across the top rope, leaving her hanging out to dry!

As Destiny is left hanging, Morgana climbs to the top rope, faces Destiny, who is still hanging and dives off the top rope, extending her leg, driving it into the back of Destiny's skull, as she is hanging! As a result, Destiny's head snaps forward -- and then back. The force of her head snapping back is enough to send Destiny sprawling to the floor, landing with a solid, hard thud.

Lex Robinson: A literal guillotine legdrop from Morgana onto Destiny Daniels!

Steve Hebert: I'm just amazed that Destiny still has a head left on her shoulders!

Destiny tumbles to the floor, leaving Morgana in the ring, sizing her up.

Lex Robinson: Destiny is stumbling around on the floor, while Morgana is bouncing off the opposite set of ropes. She springboards herself onto the top rope and goes to leap off...

Steve Hebert: But Destiny sees her! She steps to the side...

Lex Robinson: Ironically, Morgana realizes Destiny has moved, thus stopping herself in her tracks. This stoppage allows Morgy to calmly leap off the ropes and land on the side of the apron.

Steve Hebert: Seeing this, Destiny decides to throw a roundhouse kick towards Morgana's legs!

Lex Robinson: Morgana cartwheels to the side, avoiding the kick from Destiny Daniels!

Steve Hebert: Holy shit, what the Christ?

Lex Robinson: On the apron, Morgana charges forward... she leaps off with a shooting star dive, hoping to land onto Destiny!

Steve Hebert: And again, Destiny sees her coming!

Lex Robinson: Morgana lands on her feet, stopping herself from faceplanting!

Steve Hebert: She isn't able to avoid the roundhouse kick to the gut from Destiny Daniels, though! Oomph!

Lex Robinson: Destiny then grabs Morgy by her pink hair and bashes her skull off the apron, following that up with some rapid-fire chops!

Steve Hebert: Meanwhile, Casanova and Adora get in the ring and start exchanging blows!

Lex Robinson: Action is taking place everywhere, now! Inside of the ring, Casanova stops Adora's advances with a knee to the stomach, bending her over. He then hoists her up into a vertical suplex position... and then launches her forward, delivering a suplex-into-a-powerbomb!

Steve Hebert: Destiny rams Morgana into the ring post and then hooks onto both arms, while Casanova nears the ropes. Casanova with a slingshot plancha to the floor, while Destiny holds the World Champion in place...

Lex Robinson: Morgana frees herself from Destiny's grasps! Casanova comes crashing down onto Destiny Daniels! Whoops!

Steve Hebert: A big-time whoops! He just landed on his own goddamn partner!

Morgana capitalizes on this mistake, immediately turning her attention towards Casanova, who kneels above Destiny, reeling about the mixup. Right away, Morgana starts kicking at Casanova, prompting him to stand. As Morgana tries for a throat-thrust, Casanova blocks her arm and is seconds away from striking the World Champion.

Lex Robinson: Casanova holds Morgana, just about to strike her with a punch, but is stopped when Adora leaps to her feet and dives over the top rope and onto Casanova! She straddles his chest and unloads with a series of punches to his head, doing loads of damage onto the vampire.

Rising back up to her feet, Destiny crawls past Adora, who is on top of Casanova, keeping him down with some stiff forearms. Morgana, seeing Destiny crawl towards her, takes control over this, as she stomps on Destiny's fingers, grabs her by the hair and then starts pulling her up, much to the dismay of the referee, who forces her to let go. Unfortunately for the World Champ, this infraction by the referee removes Morgana's attention from things, allowing Destiny to strike her in the kidneys with a leaping side kick, which pushes Morgy forward, thereby squishing the referee into the ring post by accident.

Lex Robinson: Man, oh man, carnage is afloat, here.

Steve Hebert: You're telling me. Holy cripes.

Lex Robinson: Destiny sneaks up behind Morgana and bashes her face off the ring post and then off the ring apron.

Steve Hebert: Destiny Daniels is whipping Morgana towards one of the ring steps!

Lex Robinson: Morgy leaps over the steps, though! Destiny doesn't like that, as she charges forward, hoping to leap over the steps with a flying forearm. Alas, Morgana turns around, becomes aware of Destiny's charge and then climbs up the ring steps, leaping off it, sending Destiny Daniels spiraling to the floor with a huracanrana!

Steve Hebert: Jesus! This match is nuts!

Lex Robinson: This is almost too much to call!

Lifting Destiny up, Morgana is quick to scoop her up and then body slams her back down, measuring her up for her own personal gain. The World Champion, Morgana, takes several steps away from Destiny, who lays prone on the floor, allowing Morgy to run forward.

Lex Robinson: Morgana with the handsprings... but Destiny keeps rolling further away from Morgana, who is trying to land a moonsault onto her!

Steve Hebert: Another backflip, but Destiny rolls and Morgana lands on her feet, only to do another backflip! This is nuts! Welcome to The Matrix, Lex!

Lex Robinson: The duo continue rolling and backflipping until there is no more room left for them. Eventually, Morgana catches up with the rolling Destiny Daniels and lands a handspring moonsault on the floor!

Steve Hebert: About goddamn time, too. And we don't even have a ref, as that other motherfucker is concussed, thanks to striking the back of his head off the ring post.

Lex Robinson: As Morgana displays another flip-fest, Casanova is finally able to battle Adora off, kicking her to the side, grabs her hair and then smashes her face off the floor. Standing up, he hovers over Adora, who is on her knees, trying to restore the feeling in her face, while Casanova commences kicking and stomping on the back of her head. He walks away and... what now?

Steve Hebert: He's searching under the ring for something. I don't know what for, but he's searching!

From beneath the ring, Casanova yanks out the carcass of a dead, decaying rabbit, which has its head cut off.

Lex Robinson: Oh Christ.

Steve Hebert: So that's where the Easter Bunny went! Sorry, kids. You just know that this is nightmare-inducing for them.

Lex Robinson: This is disgusting. This is even worse than Casanova dumping blood on Morgana.

Steve Hebert: He tried to hit Adora with it, but she ducked! It's not his fault!

Holding the upside-down rabbit carcass in his hands, Casanova grins and then begins to whack Adora over-and-over again with the dead body, playing psychological games with Adora.

Steve Hebert: It's Whack-A-Wifey!

Lex Robinson: Finished swatting Adora with the dead rabbit, Casanova even strikes an unwilling fan!

Steve Hebert: Haha, awesome!

Lex Robinson: Sensing that Adora is in trouble, Morgana rushes over to her aide, only to receive a shot with the dead rabbit, as well! This is horrfying!

Steve Hebert: Hell no, this is hilarious! He's hitting everyone with that goddamn bunny!

Having the torn bunny in his hand, Casanova tosses it into the audience, giving it to some rowdy fan, who'll surely bring it home and cook it for later.

Steve Hebert: Someone will be having rabbit stew later tonight.

Lex Robinson: Uh huh. Anyhow, he lifts the World Champion up, headbutts her and then backs her up against the apron, where he proceeds to chop the life out of her.

Steve Hebert: Next, he lifts Morgana up onto his shoulders with a fireman's carry, carries her to the same ring steps she leaped off and... death valley drivers her onto it! Holy shit! Holy balls! That may have broken her back!

Taking Morgy up her bloodstained pink hair, Casanova rolls Morgana inside, seconding that by grabbing a chair from one of the ringside fans and then throws it in, as well. Taking the chair in his hands, he slowly escalates to the top rope, wielding the weapon in his hands, aiming it at the back of Morgana's skull.

Lex Robinson: Slowly, Morgana climbs to her feet. Casanova is about to leap off the top rope, getting ready to smash that chair into her skull, when Adora leaps up onto the apron and leaping side kicks him in his right leg! The force of this blow is enough for him to drop the chair into the ring and then fall all the way to the floor! That's gotta hurt, even if he is a so-called vampire!

Steve Hebert: I've always denied the existence of vampires, but I take it back. He flew threw the air like a goddamn vampire bat. Vampires do turn into bats, correct?

Lex Robinson: Uh...

Steve Hebert: Hmm?

Lex Robinson: Shut up, please.

Hopping off the apron, Adora focuses solely on Casanova, who is on the floor, in a daze, trying to get to his feet. She connects with some stiff kicks to the spine, which jar him, keeping him grounded and dizzy.

Lex Robinson: Morgana slowly rises to her feet, unbeknownst that Destiny Daniels is rolling back into the ring behind her. Destiny lifts up the steel chair, holds it close and waits for Morgana to turn around.

Steve Hebert: She turns... the chair is thrown at Morgana's head! But she catches it, what the shit?!

Lex Robinson: Destiny Daniels leaps into the air, spins her body around and strikes the chair with a leaping spin kick! The chair not only flies out of Morgana's hands, but it also flies right out of the ring!

Steve Hebert: Now that was worthy of five stars.

Lex Robinson: Destiny drops down and makes the cover.

...

Steve Hebert: But there's no referee, dummy!

Lex Robinson: I was just about to say! The referee is still unconscious on the floor. Destiny is just now realizing this.

Steve Hebert: That stupid bitch.

Lex Robinson: She could have very well gotten a three-count right there, too!

Steve Hebert: Don't rub it in, Lex, you mook.

Angered that the referee has not yet returned, Destiny stands to her feet, helping Morgana in standing, too, oddly enough. Delivering a discus throat-chop, Destiny knocks the World Champ into the ropes, grinding her up against it, even choking her over the top rope. After one more knife-edge chop, she goes to whip Morgana out.

Lex Robinson: Morgana is Irish-whipped across the ring... she storms back and Destiny tries to give her a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. However, Morgana is able to negate it by landing on her feet, which Destiny then tries to null by pulling her down with The Cottonmouth, her finishing move, which is probably one of the best submissions in Sin Wrestling!

Steve Hebert: Gah! She can't get Morgy down, though! She elbows Morgana in the face, hoping to drop her to the mat, but even that doesn't work.

Lex Robinson: Not able to bring Morgana down, Destiny Daniels up to go the other way and sweep Morgy's legs out from under her! This, of course, allows Destiny to land a standing moonsault onto the World Champ, which, for Destiny's sake, will keep her down.

Steve Hebert: Sadly, it probably won't.

Lex Robinson: No doubt.

Steve Hebert: Even if it could, there's still no godforsaken referee!

Destiny straddles Morgana, hitting the World Champion with several closed-fists, striking her skull with oblivion. Finally, she stands, sense Adora taking it to Casanova on the floor and decides to do something about it.

Lex Robinson: On the outside, Adora has shaked off the damage done onto her leg and is now striking Casanova with some rights and lefts. Kick, that is. All kicks. She traps him against the post, where he feels the blow of every shot; where she even hits a jumping spin kick, ala Destiny Daniels before her, causing the back of his head to smash against the post!

Steve Hebert: This isn't going over too well with Destiny, who steps near the ring ropes, slingshots over the top rope and lands on the apron. From here, Destiny kicks the unseeing Adora in the face, giving her a bit of treatment that she gave Casanova.

Lex Robinson: Bending down, Destiny locks onto Adora's hair and pulls on it, lifting her up onto the ring apron, where she strikes her with some snake-like thrusts. Trying to fight back, Adora sends a fist into Destiny's skull and tries to hit a high-kick to the face, but to no avail. Ducking beneath Adora's leg, Destiny forces the Television Champ to hang out on the top rope, eventually dumping her back inside. As Adora lays parallel to the ropes, Destiny somersault slingshots herself back into the ring, landing across Adora's throat with a legdrop.

Steve Hebert: And what do you know? The referee is finally getting to his feet.

Lex Robinson: He had been out for a while. I wonder if he's okay.

Steve Hebert: According to the loopy daze he's in, I'd guess not.

Lex Robinson: Sheesh.

Steve Hebert: Destiny stands over both the fallen champs, taking turns to kick and stomp on each one. You gotta love someone who'd kick you in the face, Lex.

Lex Robinson: Is that so?

Steve Hebert: ...Or so I've been told.

Lex Robinson: Figures. Destiny lines Adora and Morgy up, sitting them back-to-back with each other. She steps to the side... and a vicious kick to Adora's face! And a vicious kick to Morgana's face! The Wifeys are being beaten down!

Destiny hooks Adora's legs around Morgana's shoulders, while walking towards Morgy's legs. Grabbing them both, she turns her over, positioning her into a Boston Crab position.

Lex Robinson: Morgana has been turned over, put into a Boston Cab. Not only that, but she has Adora turned over, as well, because Adora's legs are attached to Morgana's shoulders!

Steve Hebert: Seeing this, Casanova slides back inside and instantly hovers over Adora, applying a rear-chin lock on her, while Destiny pulls back on Morgana's legs, hoping to stretch her legs and back. The referee, who was seemingly dead minutes ago, now checks the Wifeys, seeing if they want to submit.

Lex Robinson: You can hear them screeching out in agony, but there's no submission being made.

Steve Hebert: Well fuck. What's it gonna take?

Lex Robinson: A whole lot more, I presume.

Steve Hebert: Who's even the legal person?

Lex Robinson: Who knows?

Steve Hebert: Eh, yeah, good point. Who cares, even?

Unity comes back into play, as Casanova lifts Adora up and Destiny hoists up Morgana. Together, they trap both Wifeys in opposite corners, where they start to climb-and-pound both ladies. Leaping down, Casanova knees Adora in the gut, turns her around and then sits her on his shoulders, while he shouts out to Destiny Daniels, who finishes Morgana off with a snap kick, sandwiching her against the turnbuckle pads.

Lex Robinson: Adora is hoisted into the air by Casanova, who holds her on his shoulders. He points to Destiny and then then points to the top rope, which Destiny Daniels, the former World Champion, quickly escalates.

Steve Hebert: Destiny flies through the air, contorting her body around and hits a spin wheel kick to Adora, knocking her off Casanova's shoulders, dropping her six feet to the canvas!

Moments are watching Adora plummet to the mat, Morgana charges out of the corner, headed towards Casanova, who sees her coming. Thinking quickly, Casanova throws her into the air, which turns out to be a negative thing, as she uses this hang-time to push her legs forward and connect with a falling dropkick to Destiny Daniels' chest, sending her flying over the top rope and to the floor!

Steve Hebert: Argh! Casanova was able to fling Morgy into the air, but she uses that for her own chances! Not good!

Lex Robinson: Destiny Daniels has been sprung to the floor, but that doesn't stop Casanova from attacking. Before Morgy can stand, Casanova hurries at her, striking her with a running kneelift, gutwrenches her and then gutwrench powerbombs Morgana straight across Adora!

Steve Hebert: A Wifey sammich! Mmmm, tasty. I'd jerk off all over it.

Lex Robinson: And then you'd eat it?

Steve Hebert: Yes, my ejaculate would be like mayonnaise.

Lex Robinson: Now that's just disgusting.

Steve Hebert: It's what I was going for.

Lex Robinson: Casanova grabs Adora, lifts her to a standing position and then backdrops her to the floor, leaving only Morgana and himself in the ring.

Steve Hebert: 'Bout time there was some order here.

Lex Robinson: As the World Champ groggily squirms about, Casanova stands over her. Most importantly, he stands on her hair, reaches down, grabs onto her wrists and pulls up on her arms, forcing Morgana into a hair-pull maneuver.

Steve Hebert: Even things like that is goddamn smart and is enough to wear down anyone.

Lex Robinson: Blood-curdling howels erupt from Morgana's voicebox, with Casanova being forced to release the hold by the referee. Sitting Morgana up, Casanova licks her face, tasting some of the animal blood that remains on her skin. Lifting her up to her feet, Casanova European Uppercuts Morgana, sending her into the turnbuckle pads, which he follows up by bashing her head off. Turning Morgy around, Casanova whips her across the ring, sending her back-first against the opposite set of turnbuckle pads. Here he comes, too...!

Steve Hebert: Full speed ahead...!

Her eyes open, Morgana sees the vampire charging at her, aiming for her ribcage area with a spear. A thought comes to her mind, which she immediately reinforces.

Lex Robinson: Morgana rolls to the right!

Steve Hebert: Oh fuck! Casanova goes shoulder-first into the middle turnbuckle pad!

Lex Robinson: Yes and no. His face also bashed against that pad!

Steve Hebert: Oh snap!

Sliding back into the ring, Destiny Daniels focuses on Morgana, who doesn't see her coming. However, before Destiny can reach Morgy, Adora also leaps onto the apron.

Lex Robinson: Adora springboard dropkicks Destiny Daniels out of nowhere! She just cut her off from assaulting her Wifey!

Steve Hebert: Son of a...

Having both opponents down-and-out, Adora and Morgana turn towards Casanova, who is hanging against the middle turnbuckle. They both steamroll into the corner, with Adora swinging between the middle and top rope, hitting a Tiger Feint Kick; while Morgana comes up from behind and nails him with a running dropkick to the back of his head!

Steve Hebert: Oh Jesus. I think they just squished Casanova's head like a grape!

Lex Robinson: That blow forces Casanova to roll out of the ring.

Steve Hebert: Christ. I don't blame him.

Remaining on the side of the apron, Adora leans down, trying to regroup. However, as she does this, Destiny Daniels storms up from behind Morgana, turning her around and then giving her a throat-thrust. She looks to follow up on that by taking the champ down with The Cottonmouth, but Morgana rolls through.

Lex Robinson: This time, Destiny is able to bring Morgana down; but she rolls right through it! They both rise to their feet, with Destiny lunging at Morgana, applying a body-scissors and then trying to victory roll her! Morgana stands her ground, though. Instead of being rolled-up, she hoists Destiny up into a wheelbarrow position, which prompts Adora to climb to the top rope.

Steve Hebert: STanding on the top rope... Adora walks the top rope! What the fuck?! That's just like walking on water! She runs from one top turnbuckle pad to the adjacent pad; all while running on the top goddamn rope!

Lex Robinson: My God! She leaps off... and hits a flying dropkick to Destiny Daniels' face, as she is being held up by Morgana!

Crumpling to the mat like someone that has been hit by a truck, Destiny Daniels has no time to recover because both Wifeys lift her up and whip her into the corner -- the same corner they had squished Casanova's skull in.

Lex Robinson: Fresh off running the ropes, Adora stands in the opposite corner of Destiny, with Morgana coming up to her. Morgy whips Adora across the ring, giving her an extra-push. With a ton of speed, Adora plows into the corner, uses the top rope to spring herself into the air and drives her right foot into Destiny's left cheek, knocking the life out of her! Ironically, Adora is able to propel herself out onto the apron, using Destiny's head as a method to push herself out!

Steve Hebert: She's preparing for something else, though!

Lex Robinson: Stumbling around on the floor, Casanova is unaware of the danger that surrounds him... errrr... that's above him.

Springboarding off the middle rope, Adora moonsaults back, knocking both her and Casanova into the fifth row with an Asai Moonsault.

Lex Robinson: Watch out, fans! They just took out five rows of fans!

Steve Hebert: Good! I hope someone dies!

Lex Robinson: For your information, I do believe everyone was able to get out of harm's way. Safely, too, I might add!

Steve Hebert: Awww, shucks!

Lex Robinson: This leaves just Morgana and Destin Daniels in the ring. And by the looks of it, Destiny won't be standing for much longer.

Destin stumbles out of the corner, which Morgana notices. Hoping to capitalize on this, she kicks Destin in the gut, cranks on her neck and then attempts a Fata Morgana. Destiny, in a last ditch effort to stave off defeat, standsher ground and thus forces Morgana to land behind her.

Lex Robinson: The World Champ isn't able to hit one of her best moves!

Steve Hebert: She tries to turn Destiny around, though; but Destiny will have none of that. Twisting her body around, Destiny connects with a spin kick that strikes Morgana in the neck, crippling her, bringing her down to one knee!

Lex Robinson: This may be what Destiny needs to take the victory.

Steve Hebert: Shaking her head, trying to regain her thoughts, Destiny 360s around the ring and spots Morgana on her knees, struggling to stand after the former kick. Holy shit, here she goes... like a goddamn ninja...!

Lex Robinson: Destiny charges ahead, hoping to hit a Shining Wizard, but Morgana ducks that!

Steve Hebert: Well, fuck me. Fuck me, Morgana and Destiny, fuck me.

Lex Robinson: Using her hands to push herself off the canvas, Morgana latches both legs around Destiny's body, finding success where Destiny could not...

Steve Hebert: Morgana with the Victory Roll...!

...1...2...

Lex Robinson: No! Destiny transfers it into her favor...!

...1...2...

Steve Hebert: You're shitting me, Morgana rolls it into her favor! She makes a bridge, holding down Destiny's legs. The bitch might have it!

...1...2...

Lex Robinson: Only a two, as Destiny rolls back, jacknifing Morgana's legs into her favor. She adds a bridge to that jacknife...!

...1...

Lex Robinson: One!

...2...

Lex Robinson: Two!

...

Lex Robinson: Morgana kicks out!

Steve Hebert: How the Jesus! That was too close! Listen to these fans, who are split both ways!

Both ladies get to their feet at approximately the same time.

Lex Robinson: Not through with things, Destiny runs towards Morgana, swinging a kick towards her head, which Morgy ducks! When Destiny turns around, she steps right into a kick to the gut. Morgana tries for the Fata Morgana, once more!

Steve Hebert: Hell no! Destiny shoves Morgana off, throwing her into the ropes! That bitch and her titties bounce back...

Lex Robinson: Destiny hooks onto her arm, trying to bring her down with The Conttonmouth! But just like the first time, Morgana stands her ground!

Steve Hebert: Go fucking figure. Fuck!

Lex Robinson: Destiny gives one large yank on Morgana... only to have Morgana step in front of her, 3/4 facelock her... and hit the Fata Morgana! Destiny Daniels is laid out!

Steve Hebert: Oh Jesus no.

Lex Robinson: This gives Morgana the chance to climb to the top rope. She leaps off... Morgasm! She hits it! That's the move she used to capture the World Title, too!

The cover is made by Morgana, while Casanova and Adora remain on the floor, trying to collect their wits.

Lex Robinson: The pinfall is made...!

...1...2...

Sensing the immenent loss, Casanova glides to his feet and soars into the ring by sliding beneath the bottom rope. However, it's too late.

...3!

Lex Robinson: Three! There's the three! The match is over! Team Wifey defeats Team Hall of Fame!

Steve Hebert: And this awful building didn't even collapse. Well, shit. How disappointing.

Lex Robinson: Wifeys win! Wifeys win!

Steve Hebert: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Big deal.

Once the three is made by the referee, who also looks like he has went through a war, Morgana swiftly rolls out of the ring, exiting beneath the bottom rope. Stumbling towards the ring announcer, she grabs her World Title and Adora's Television Title.

Lex Robinson: Adora and Morgana have defeated Casanova and Destiny Daniels, two of Sin Wrestling's finest Hall of Famers!

Steve Hebert: We get the point! They won! Jesus, calm down.

Lex Robinson: What an Easter! What a return!

Steve Hebert: Let's just hope we can get a goddamn arena -- and soon. If I have to work in filthy places such as this, I may just kill myself.

Headed towards Adora, Morgana helps her partner up to her feet, handing her the Television Title. Adora, whose right leg seems a little wobbly, receives her title and holds it high, while Casanova looks on in the ring, very angry.

Lex Robinson: Be sure to join us for Eternity #7, folks. We're celebrating a new season of Sin Wrestling; and we're going to determine number one contenders and everything!

In the ring, Destiny Daniels lays on her back, trying to figure out what just occured, not liking things a bit. To her left is Casanova, who exits the ring and starts flinging stuff around.

Steve Hebert: Uh... I think we had better get out of here.

Lex Robinson: I think you're right! Goodbye, everyone!

Casanova throwing around items such as headsets and chairs, while The Wifeys celebrate with the fans, allowing them to rub their title; including the brand new World Title that ?Morgana owns. The final shot is that of comparative contrast, showing Casanova assault a random fan that gets in his face, while Morgana and Adora celebrate with random fans.

Winners: Team Wifey