Horatio Q.: Awwww, Tsarmina, my lovely, I know you're out there dreaming of me.
--FLASH--
The image of Tsarmina Bloodmoon is shown on screen, in Antarctica. She is huddled around a fire, inside of an igloo, trying to keep warm, while snuggled up to a big, white polar bear. She has become part of their pack, learning to fish, hunt and live.
--FLASH--
Horatio is still standing on the wall, with a tear dripping down his cheek.
No, wait, he accidentally poked himself in the eye.
Horatio Q.: Ouch.
He continues his soliloquoy.
Horatio Q.: Here I am, talking to myself... just like that little bag of faggots, Corey Page. I have the upperhand, I have Sin Wrestling, I have money, I have HGH in my back pocket, I have it all!
He takes a swift breath of the polluted Chinese air.
Horatio Q.: Mmm... smells like child labour, political corruption and obstructed civil rights. I love it!
Removing a cigar from his pocket, he pipes it full of HGH and begins smoking it.
Horatio Q.: Corey Page will fall at my pay per view, just like... just like...
He grabs a random passerby and heaves them off the wall.
Horatio Q.: Just like this man!
Horatio leans over the wall, watching as the unsuspecting person splatters to the ground.
Horatio Q.: I'm taking vitamins, now. I am a genius. I am a bad, bad man. I am worse than a pedophile.
He flexes and smokes some more of his cigar.
Horatio Q.: Sin Wrestling is -- and forever will be -- mine! If only Tsarmina, my lovely, was here to share it with me...
Looking out into the cloudy, smog-filled sky, he thinks about the wonderful times they've had.
Horatio Q.: I remember when we went snorkeling in the Pacific. Awww, it was a nice day. And then we went yachting on a gay carnival cruise and she oiled my buttockal regions up. I laughed like a schoolgirl. Oh, god love her. And then there was the time we bought African men, locked them in cages and forced them to watch as we made sweet love. I think I gave her an asshole baby that night.
Clouds of smoke pilfer into the air, as he leans back, reminiscing about the good times.
Horatio Q.: I have brought in Zimdelar Brudon. Zimdelar is my kind of guy, even if I can't say his name right. I offer him a fat contract and he signed. Who wouldn't? I can sign anyone. I will prove it! You hear me, China, I will prove it, you slanty eyed faggots! I'll fucking kill all of you, China!
He exhales some more smoke.
Horatio Q.: Take that second-hand smoke, motherfaggots!
Bending his bicep, he licks and lavishly kisses his biceps.
Horatio Q.: I got the pipes to destroy Corey Page. I'm so sure I'll win, I'll... I'll... I'll put 50 million dollars on the line! Heh heh heh...
He looks around.
Horatio Q.: ...Good thing no one's here to witness that.
The cameraman coughs and Horatio whips around, startled, dropping his cigar off the wall, having it land on the man he threw off.
Horatio Q.: What?! What you want?! You didn't hear that?! Oh nos. Oh sweet Tsarmina, nos!
The camera nods -- "yes". Panicked, briskly tries keeping himself together, but it's no use. No matter how much he feigns, he cannot remain calm.
Horatio Q.: I... I... I kid about that. I will win Sin Wrestling match against Corey "Holy Faggot" Page. No money needed in that match... he stupid, big, ugly fag, you know?
As his frustration mounds, his English becomes less clear, eventually he is muttering to himself in Ukranian.
Horatio Q.: You shut off stupid camera! You hear Horatio?! Horatio take camera...
Horatio and the cameraman battle with the camera, making quite the tussle.
Horatio Q.: Give me... give me!
Seconds later, the camera smashes to the ground and the image goes to static.
The scene: a non-descript warehouse somewhere in the middle of China. You can tell, 'cause there are tons of people working without so much of a break. People putting toys together, kids painting parts for assembly all for a small bit of capitalism...yes, folks, slave labor in action! One particular old fat man is whipping a few employees into shape.
Manager: No good result here! You write wrong thing on toy. It supposed to say "Made in China", but this say "Please help me"? you send out S.O.S. without my approval! You work faster at less pay!
Poor Employee: But my hands ache, sir...
Manager: It be no matter! You work hard or you no work at all! Either that or you get pregnant and make kid work for you!
The manager gruffly walks away from the group of silent employees, then closes a door before he rubs his hands together. He rubs at his forehead before grinning like a snake-oil salesman.
Manager: So sorry about that, okay? I promise it no happen again, Mr...
A voice is cleared as the camera pans away to show Chris Carson in some sunglasses and a leather jacket. He has a solid briefcase on the table before the manager, who looks even more serpentine.
Chris Carson: My name that important, pal. Let's just say that I represent what's decent about the USA.
The manager nods and rubs his hands together before lighting Carson's cigar for him.
Manager: Yes, yes. Is all no important. But you tell secretary that you have good proposition for my toy company, yes?
Carson chews on his beat-up stogie, then slaps the case down flat on the table.
Chris Carson: Perhaps. Depends on how receptive you are.
Carson opens the case to show... a gold-plated wrestling belt. The manager's eyes light up a moment before light dawns on him.
Chris Carson: You've seen this before, yes?
Manager: Ah! Is... familiar, yes.
The manager's looking a little more nervous.
Manager: We here make this model before. Is made good, yes? All kids in America want to have wrestling belt like this, yes? Wrestling is popular, right?
The manager's hand slides over the "gold", even though he knows the faux quality to it. Carson puffs out a frustrated cloud of smoke.
Chris Carson: Yes. Yes, they do.
Carson slides the case back down, crushing the manager's hand between the jaws of the case.
Manager: Ow! Y... you pig-dog fuck! What you do?!
Chris Carson: I'll tell you what I do, shit-for-brains. I'm five seconds away from beating your ass about this belt! I was faked out of thinking this shit was real! I ain't got bupkiss for this title, 'cause it's worth about as much to me as democracy's worth to you commie pigs!
Manager: What you want from me? I just make toys!
Chris Carson: Oh, I got plans, Mao-Tse Fuck. You see all those kids and women in your warehouse? You're going to first have them make a few toys for me today before giving them the week off. And no lead ones either!
Carson leans on the case...yes, with the manager's hand still square inside!
Chris Carson: See, I wanna give a few special deliveries this week. If Q-bert ain't giving people a break with their tickets, then the least they can get is a free gift!
Manager: And... and what if I say no?!
Carson looks a little peeved, then hits the intercom with his free hand.
Chris Carson: Ms. Secretary? Cancel all of the appointments for the day.
The scene fades with Carson grinning like a Grinch...
Next, "Afterlife" by Avenged Sevenfold plays and after several passing seconds, the masked man known as Limbo walks out, spouting random jibberish. He walks to the ring, climbs onto the ring steps and hops over the ropes, entering the ring, taking a look at Redmaine, who rests against the corner.
The bell rings and both opponents are quick to walk towards each other, with Redmaine getting the upperhand with a side-headlock. However, Limbo immediately escapes the hold, allowing him to bring Redmaine down with a spin-wheel kick, followed by a drop-toe-hold, which enables him to cover Redmaine with a Majistral Cradle...!
...1...2...
Redmaine is not caught off-guard, though, as he quickly kicks out!
The two men instantly jump to their feet, with Redmaine catching Limbo by surprise with a sneak attack. He corners Limbo, striking with some punches and various other strikes, even whipping him into the ropes and striking with a running knee-to-the-stomach upon his rebound!
Redmaine uses this opportunity to wear Limbo down with several restholds, including chinlocks with a knee to the back; and even a sleeperhold.
Nevertheless, Limbo fights back, regaining the upperhand. When Redmaine goes to hit a brainbuster on him, Limbo flips out of the attempted move, runs towards the nearest set of ropes and connects with a front-handspring off the ropes, returning with a leaping elbow to Redmaine's jaw!
Having things in his favor, Limbo even goes to the top rope, calling for something, which actually gets the crowd on their feet. However, he mockingly points and laughs at them, and calmly jumps down, getting everyone's hopes for a high risk move dashed. Instead, Limbo charges at Redmaine, only to have Redmaine side-step a running-forearm attack and lock in a Cobra-Clutch, one of his Wings of Truth maneuvers!
Struggling, Limbo motions into the corner, with Redmaine clinging onto him. Climbing the turnbuckle pads, Limbo pushes off them with his legs, allowing him to roll atop Redmaine, who still has the hold applied.
The referee counts Redmaine down...
...1...2...
However, Redmaine releases the hold, also stopping the count!
Freeing himself, Redmaine is the first onto his feet. He sets Limbo up for a piledriver, but Limbo pushes him back and then goes for a quick stunner...!
...but this time, Redmaine pushes Limbo away, shoving him into the closest set of ropes! As Limbo returns, Redmaine drops him to the canvas with a smashing spinebuster! Lying in wait, like a predator, Redmaine watches as Limbo rises, dizzy and delirious. Creeping up behind Limbo, he locks in a Cobra Clutch... lifts him into the air... and slams him to the ground, but also locks his own legs around Limbo's waist!
The Wings of Truth II is applied and Limbo has no other choice but to tap out!
Even after the bell is rung, Redmaine keeps the hold applied, making sure Limbo is down and out. At frst, he refuses to release the hold, wanting Limbo to feel the pain and punishment, but the third time the referee tells him to do so, Redmaine relinquishes the hold.
The referee goes to raise Redmaine's hand, but he quickly swipes it away, instead standing over Limbo, laughing at him. With "Mad World" playing again, Redmaine exits the ring, walks to the back, gets jeered by the audience and exits the ringside area. Limbo, on the other hand, remains on the canvas, getting checked by the referee.
Winner: Redmaine
Stevie Swing: Well, what do you want?!
Chris Carson finally pipes up.
Chris Carson: Alright, alright. I called you two here to get something straight...
He looks at both Shaku and Stevie, his two partners for Ultimate Survival.
Chris Carson: We don't like each other, that's a fact.
Stevie Swing: You got that right.
Stevie snarls and clutches the title into her.
Chris Carson: But we have to get along, no matter what.
Stevie Swing: Fat chance of that happening. That's about as likely as Shaku stops swallowing steroids hand-over-fist.
Shaku Endbringer: Hey--...
"The Creep" keeps between them, making sure things don't go awry. He pushes them both back, making sure things don't come to blows.
Chris Carson: Horatio Q. has pitted you against each other tonight, in hopes of wearing you both down. He even made it a "Tables Are Legal" Match. Don't kill each other tonight is all I'm try'na say.
Stevie Swing: Don't worry, I won't kill him... I'll destroy him!
Carson rolls his eyes.
Chris Carson: Look, I know you two are both busy with other people.
He looks at Shaku Endbringer.
Chris Carson: You with Kelvin Coolidge. I get it, you want that Ultraviolence Title. He didn't put you down easy, I know that. You can get him back, though, and get that title.
He turns to Stevie Swing...
Chris Carson: And you...
She turns her head away, sticks her nose in the air and scoffs at Carson.
Chris Carson: And you're busy with the rightful World Champ -- Teresa Quaranta, having little bitchfests with each other, with her try'na earn your respect. You better open your eyes and pay attention to Ultimate Survival... because if you win at the Christmas pay per view, I'll be taking that title from you, putting it back around my waist.
Stevie Swing: Pffft... this title can't fit around your fat, hairy, 90 year old gut anymore.
Again, Carson rolls his eyes.
Chris Carson: Now, both of you go out there, and get this over with and concentrate on outlasting Team Casanova and Team Extreme-or-whatever the hell he's calling himself these days.
Shaku Endbringer: Oh, it'll be over soon.
Shaku walks off, leaving Stevie and Carson together.
Stevie Swing: I'll rip the HGH out of his veins with my own fingernails.
And Stevie follows after him, with Carson giving a facepalm to himself.
He's walking around, rambling to himself, wearing the same mask, looking for someone. After just being beaten by Redmaine, he stumbles around, obviously slightly dazed. He sees a female, turns her around...
Limbo: Aghaf lagros pumman DARRR DARRRR...
Scared of this senseless rambling, the female runs off, thinking Limbo is a crazy homeless man. This further agitates him, prompting him to throw his hands into the air, annoyed.
He continues looking... until he comes across Horatio Q.
Limbo: Horeshoe! Horseshoe!
Horatio Q.: What the hell? What?
Limbo: You are rambo della vanyo.
Horatio Q.: Yes, yes; I am mister Rambo, I know. However, I'm busy right now, can't you see?
Horatio points to his right. Standing by him, holding a brand new Sin Wrestling contract is former Television Champ, Corey Ashton!
Horatio Q.: Who gets the deals done! Horatio does!
Limbo: Horseshoe!
Horatio Q.: You don't see ol' cumlips, Corey Page, signing people, do you?!
Limbo: Crowey Page!
Horatio Q.: Fuck Crowey-- err... Corey.
Horatio turns to Corey Ashton, offering a handshake.
Horatio Q.: Welcome back to Sin Wrestling.
Without saying a word, Corey Ashton blankly stares at Horatio and shakes his hand. Corey Ashton soon trails off, leaving Horatio and Limbo behind. When Corey's back is turned, Horatio stuffs some sort of white, powdery substance into his jacket.
Horatio Q.: Boy, do I know how to lure 'em back, or what?
Limbo: Horseshoe!
Horatio Q.: And that's not all that's in store tonight, too. Heh heh heh... they will all pay for taking my Tsarmina away.
Limbo: Ayobaba Rambo varsus Predator OJ Sampson Drakko ayaho.
Horatio Q.: Are you asking me to bring back Draco or OJ Simpson?
Limbo: Horseshoe!
Horatio Q.: I agree. Fuck Corey Page.
Twiddling his thumbs like a classic movie villain, Horatio smirks, allowing the image to fade out.
Shaku steps onto the ring apron and enters, climbing through the ropes. Looking at the tables, he soon turns his attention towards the entrance, watching as Stevie Swing comes out, stepping through the makeshift vagina. With the fans heavily jeering her, she ignores their taunts, only to rub the World Title that hangs over her shoulder. She enters the ring and hands the belt, which isn't even hers, to an official and waits for the match to commence.
Right away, Stevie jets across the ring and connects with a baseball-slide dropkick to Shaku's kneecap! Jumping up, she catches him with some kicks, stomping him against a corner, against a table. Bashing his skull off one of the tables, she leans him against the wooden layer and backs into the opposite corner. Charging ahead, she goes full speed towards Shaku, launching herself at him... but Shaku moves! Stevie Swing goes crashing through one of the tables!
Taking advantage of this, Shaku turns around, grabs her and tosses her against the ropes. In here, he clubs her with some fists and forearms. He continues to do so, until she ducks down, pulling the top rope down with her. As a result, he goes tumbling over her, flopping over the top rope and landing on the floor, on his two feet!
Seeing Shaku on the floor, Stevie instantly jumps to her feet. She slingshots herself over the top rope, hoping to dive onto him. However, in mid-air, she is caught by Shaku, who uses his strength to throw her into the air, catch her on his shoulders and running-powerbomb her through a nearby table!
The fans are firmly behind Shaku, who takes a moment to regain his thoughts and then returns to beating on Stevie. On the floor, he literally tosses her over another table, resulting in her smashing hard to the floor, which surely aggravates Chris Carson, who watches his teammates go at each other.
As Shaku gives chase, Stevie catches him with a smart lowblow and slides back inside the ring. Getting to her feet, she catches him as he tries to enter, nailing him with another baseball-slide dropkick, knocking him onto another table. Using the ropes as a springboard, she launches herself through the air, going to the outside, putting both herself and Shaku through a table with a Shooting Star Press!
She makes the cover...
...
However, the cover needs to be made inside the ring, in order to count.
Slapping her hands off the floor, she grabs onto Shaku's ears, claps her two hands against his head and pulls him to his feet, using all the effort she can muster. Bashing his skull off the ring apron, she continues striking him some more. It isn't until she tries to whip him into the post that things get reversed.
As Stevie Irish-whips Shaku towards the ring post, Shaku reverses the whip, sending Stevie in. Instead of smashing into it, though, Stevie wraps her hands around it and is able to skip her way up onto the ring apron! Using the momentum, she then dives onto Shaku... who again catches her!
Pressing her above his head, on the floor, he throws her back into the ring, over the top rope, showing an impressive display of power!
Headscissoring Stevie, he hoists her up onto his shoulders, but she pushes on his head, allowing her to stand on his shoulders! Pushing off, she jumps behind him, giving a kick to the back of his skull as she jumps to the canvas. Leaping onto the middle turnbuckle pad, using it as a springboard, she jumps back, connecting with a dropkick to the back of Shaku's head!
Rocked forward, Shaku is bent over the table, enabling Stevie to take advantage of this. She kicks, punches and forearms him, keeping him in place, eventually laying him across the table. Motioning towards the corner, she begins clinbing the turnbuckle pads, with the fans wallowing in despair, not wanting to see her crash Shaku through the table.
Unfortunately for Stevie, Shaku regains his senses and lumbers into the corner, striking Stevie with a punch to the gut! From here, he grabs onto her throat and sends her flying through the air with a flying chokeslam through the table!
Shaku covers her, with the fans expecting a three-count...!
...1...2...
...No!
Stevie Swing is able to kickout, just in the nick of time!
Amazed by the lack of a pinfall, Shaku lifts her up, only to receive a kick in the kneecap. Thinking quickly, Stevie escapes to the floor, getting away from Shaku's grasps. On the floor, she thinks about what to do next, opting to take another table and slide it inside.
Climbing back inside, Stevie is instantly met with a boot from Shaku, who then receives a rake to the eyes from a cheapshotting Stevie Swing! With a few more cheap moves, Stevie keeps momentum on her side, sets up the table she brought into the ring and takes the third table that was in the corner and sets that one up, as well.
Dousing Shaku with some punches, Stevie lays him across the both of the tables and goes to the top rope. She moonsaults off, twists in the air and lands on Shaku, putting him through both tables!
She makes the count...!
...1...2...
He powers out of the pinfall, throwing Stevie off him, much to the joy of the crowd!
Exasperated, she stands to her feet and grabs the final table. Holding it in her hands, she waits for Shaku to rise. Once he does, she charges at him, hoping to ram it into his face...!
However, she runs right into a fist, which cracks through the table, bashing her in the face!
Stevie flops to the ground, only to be dragged to her feet. Shaku lays the pieces of the broken table against the corner, setting it up for Stevie to be dropped with the "Ticket to Hell".
He turns around... only to see Stevie on her feet, with the other half of the table, which she throws at him. Catching it, he is caught completely off-guard, enabling Stevie to hit "The Last Dance" superkick to the piece of table, bashing it into his skull! Not only does he fall back, but he falls backward, smashing through the other piece of the table!
Quickly, Stevie scurries onto him, hooking a leg...
...1...2...3!
Stevie Swing comes out victorious! The referee goes to raise her hand, but she pulls away and rolls to the outside, where fans taunt and yell at her. Grabbing the World Title, which actually belongs to Teresa Quaranta, she heads to the back, receiving many boos from the fans.
As for Shaku, he is able to get back to his feet, holding his head. He may be defeated, but he will live to fight another day. His wits are still with him and that'll do him good in his match against Kelvin Coolidge, at How the Horatio Stole Christmas, for the Ultraviolence Title.
Winner: Stevie Swing
Chris Extreme: What do you mean I'll be hanging above the ring, inside of a cage?!
Corey Page: Horatio Q. put that rule into place -- not me!
Christopher Alexander: That old faggot! I oughta push him down and break his hip. In fact, I think I will...
As Chris goes to storm off, Corey Page reaches out, grabs onto Chris's arm and stops him.
Corey Page: Holy crap, wait! Horatio has said that if you touch him, in any way, that he'll remove you from the Ultimate Survival match!
Christopher Alexander: You can overrule that, can't you? Yes!
Again, he's about to walk away, but Corey hangs on to him.
Corey Page: Uh, sadly, no, I can't.
Christopher Alexander: My God, you're useless. I just want my title shot. I'll just piss on Casanova's head, as he takes on Mike Phantasy.
Corey Page: That's fine with me.
Christopher Alexander: And then I can sodomize Zimdela Brudon, yes?
Corey Page: He'd probably like that.
Christopher Alexander: Good point. I'll just beat the shit out of him.
Corey Page: He'd probably like that, too.
Christopher Alexander: Well, what the fuck am I to do?
Corey Page: Don't worry about it. You'll get your chance to get both Casanova and Zimdela.
Just then, Mike Phantasy walks into view, with Travis Miller coming into view, as well.
Christopher Alexander: Look what the whore dragged in. Mike "Useless" Phantasy, my old pal. Remember when you beat my girlfriend with a chair?
Mike nods his head.
Christopher Alexander: And remember when she got impregnated by a wigger?
Mike Phantasy: Uh... I don't remember that one.
Christopher Alexander: Well, it happened! Fucking Mercedes... I just want to grab her and fuck her chain-smoking face right off. In fact, she smoked while pregnant, too. I bet she gave birth to a big ball of cancer.
Mike glances at Corey Page and then at Travis Miller. He has no idea how to respond to that.
Mike Phantasy: ...Anyhow, we've got it settled, right? I'll be your partner for Ultimate Survival.
Christopher Alexander: Sure, even though I clearly to you not to interfere in my match -- and you did. Come to think of it, you didn't even manage to keep Casanova down, you awful prick.
Mike Phantasy: Hey, I said I got your back.
Chris gets in Mike Phantasy's face.
Christopher Alexander: Christopher Alexander is a one man army. He needs no one.
Mike Phantasy: Considering your defeat at the hands of Casanova, last week, that's not quite true.
Christopher Alexander: No thanks to you.
Travis Miller pipes in, cutting this mini-argument off.
Travis Miller: So, it's settled... it's me, Christopher Alexander and Mike Phantasy for Ultimate Survival.
In reply, Chris rolls his eyes and lets out a delightful little chortle.
Christopher Alexander: Holy fuck no. I want to win this thing, unlike "The Creep". I'd rather have the corpse of Christopher Reeve on my team than have YOU.
Taken aback, Travis Miller is hurt and offended.
Christopher Alexander: Now, scram, fagmo. The real team members have things to discuss.
Travis Miller looks at Mike Phantasy, who looks sorry for him. Shrugging his shoulders, Mike pats him on the back.
Mike Phantasy: Hey, it wasn't my decision.
Travis Miller: But--...
Christopher Alexander: Go!
Looking dejected and annoyed, Travis Miller stomps off, very angry, leaving Mike with Corey Page and Christopher Alexander.
Mike Phantasy: So wait, who the hell is going to be the third member of our team?
Christopher Alexander: You'll see, you'll see...
They huddle, as if forming a circle-jerk and the camera fades out.
Ace Rodgers: Ladies and Gentlemen... please give a warm welcome to the Sin Wrestlng World Champion, Teresa Quaranta!
Teresa ruffles Ace's hair with a mean smirk and saunters to the ring, barely rolling her eyes as she looks out into the crowd. Once in the ring, she pauses, drops her mouth ajar, and with the crowd at a pitch, starts talking.
Teresa Quaranta: Jake Norton.
There's a little confusion from a crowd that expected to hear hype for the Wells match later on.
Teresa Quaranta: It's a name that will quiet a crowd, isn't it? If any of you made an especially lengthy blink last week, it's likely that you missed Jake Norton, Mr. Self Destruct, the Starfucker or whatever Trent Reznor lyric he's fashioned his identity after this week getting put through concrete by yours truly... to most of you, this was a bathroom break, or at best a fun way to get rid of some social reject you'd never heard of before. But Jake Norton and I have... a little history. He was, I guess, a failed experiment. I tried to take him unde my wing and blocked the sunlight from his mind, instead. He wasn't always the deranged, slobbering blatherer with a lazy eye that he is now. Once upon a time, before he met me, he was a pompous ass who seemed to talk on forever; but a relatively well-adjusted human being. But it so happens that just a touch in the wrong place and time can twist us into something deranged and unrecognizable to ourselves.
Teresa receives jeers from the fans.
Teresa Quaranta: Last week, getting in close contact with Stevie Swing, and brushing for a few seconds against my... uh, you know... it's not that I mind people running in and beating down whoever I'm fighting -- it's a great way to get brownie points; but I didn't quite get everything out of my system when driving that kendo stick into Shaku Endbringer's head.
Again, more boos pour in...
Teresa Quaranta: And having to share Kevin Balfour... well, that was less than fulfilling, too. And between the tag matches and the run-ins and the twelveways and the threeways and the fourways, I haven't really had a chance to work anyone over. I have to say... nobody enjoys a tease, Stephanie, least of all me. But I've held the urge to kill you in. I've waited for exactly the right moment, and it isn't going to be long until I get what's owed to me. And after that, well...
A devious smile flickers as she looks down at the canvas and paces some. She licks her bottom lip in feverish anticipation and ignores the slight jeers.
Teresa Quaranta: You're going to see something new this year for Ultimate Survival. You're going to see three-team action, for the first time; but more importantly, you are going to see the most intimidating, most brutal, most one sided performance in the history of this match. If you've actually been listening to Casanova...
The boos get louder as the main event of the big year end show is finally brought up and Teresa speaks over the noise.
Teresa Quaranta: If you've been listening... then you know where he has set the bar! The complete elimination of BOTH teams competing this year, without a single loss on our side! And I can tell you... without an ounce of doubt, as I look at the confused face of Chris Carson and a musclebound fucktard named Shaku Endbringer-...
There's a big pop for Endbringer here.
Teresa Quaranta: And a Stevie Swing that's going to be physically destroyed by the time the bell rings on that night's main event... as I look out at the irrevleant moron, Christopher Alexander, and the two question marks behind him... I know that this team, made up of two of Sin's living legends and a near invincible World Champion... is more than capable of passing that bar and making SW history.
A finger is raised.
Teresa Quaranta: But first, of course... there is the warmup match. It's been said so many times - what I do to this scrub is nothing compared to what I'll do later to someone more important. But let's be honest... this week is me kicking around a scrub cared about by no one and feared by even fewer. Later, that will be the one that defies hyperbole.
She pushes Ace Rodgers away and awaits the arrival of Kinsey Wells, who comes to the ring, alongside her trainer, Ryan Andrews. She obliviously walks to the ring, slides inside and waits for the bell to ring.
When the match begins, Teresa hurries across the ring and strikes with a flurry of forearms and punches! She doesn't give Kinsey a second to recover, as she beats her down, stomping her against the corner turnbuckles. After a series of moves, including some suplexes, forearms and a kneedrop, Teresa goes for a cover.
The referee counts...
...1...2...
However, Kinsey kicks out, with relative ease!
Agitated, Teresa stands up, plucking Kinsey with her. On their feet, Teresa begins striking with rapid-fire kicks, exchanging her left and right legs, finally finishing with a roaring-forearm...
...which gets ducked!
Latching onto Teresa, she Northern Lights suplexes her, bridging into a pinfall...!
...1...2...
This time, Teresa kicks out!
Both ladies are immediately on their feet, exchanging kicks with each other. Becoming frustrated with Kinsey's offense, Teresa strikes with a forearm to the jaw, knocking her back. After snap-suplexing her onto the canvas, Teresa pops up, moves into the corner and waits for Kinsey to rise.
Kinsey Wells staggers to her feet, with her trainer egging her on, turns around and views Teresa charging right at her. Sensing danger, she ducks down, swings around Teresa and waistlocks her. Right away, she is struck with some elbows from a vigorous Teresa, who grabs onto Kinsey's right arm and armbar-DDTs her!
From this position, Teresa applies a cross-armbar, trying to get Kinsey to tap. Using her wits, though, Kinsey gouges at Teresa's eyes, finding an opening. She even manages to twist her body around and crucifix Teresa into a rollup-pinfall...
The referee counts...
...1...2...
Again, Teresa quickly pops out of the count!
Just like before, both women rise at the same time, attempting to gain the upperhand. Teresa hits some lefts and rights and Kinsey responds with punching at Teresa, even kneeing her several times in the gut. Waistlocking her, Kinsey goes to suplex Teresa, but the World Champ worms her way to safety, twists the same arm she armbarred and pulls Kinsey close to her. Within seconds, Teresa takes Kinsey down, applying a flying armbar!
The referee moves in, checking on Kinsey's condition, refusing to surrender. Rolling around, Kinsey tries to regain her bearings, ultimately finding a spot that she can safely jackknife-rollup Teresa, pinning her...!
The referee counts again...
...1...2...
The World Champ rolls to the side, breaking the pinfall!
These two continue with some more back-and-forth movement, reversing several of their own moves. When Kindsey tries to clothesline Teresa, the World Champ grabs her right arm, the same one she had been working on, and delivers a vicious front-kick to it. Twisting the arm, Teresa flips her over her right shoulder and then wrenches onto Kinsey's arm, looking for a submission.
Kinsey Wells fights her way to her feet, though. Up here, with Teresa holding tightly onto her arm, Kinsey butts her head off Teresa's nose, finding freedom. Bouncing off the ropes, she returns at full-speed and goes for a tilt-a-whirl headscissors, but Teresa throws her off, making her land flat on her face!
Lifting Kinsey up, Teresa knees her in the gut and goes for a quick vertical suplex. As Kinsey is held in the air, she contorts her body and swiftly lands on her feet behind Teresa. From here, Kinsey jumps up, locks her feet underneath Teresa's armpits and rolls her up with a Prawn Hold!
Kinsey rolls through with the hold and presses her rear-end down on Teresa's legs, looking for the cover...
...1...2...
...but Teresa reaches ahead and rolls out of it, instead rolling up Kinsey!
The referee counts...
...1...2...
Kinsey rolls out, as well!
Both women are back on their feet, with Kinsey wrapping her arms around Teresa's waist, receiving some more elbows to the temple. Grabbing onto Kinsey's right arm, Teresa back-kicks her, striking her in the gut and hunches her over. Stepping over the arm, Teresa applies a cross-armbreaker, enjoying the howls of pain she hears from Kinsey.
Just like before, though, Kinsey fights her way out of it. Thinking fast, she latches on to Teresa's hair and pulls hard, forcing the World Champ off her. She holds her right arm close to her body, taking a moment to try and heal it; but Teresa has no remorse. Winding up, Teresa unloads with a ferocious Roundhouse Kick to the arm, connecting right where it hurts!
A horrible howl emits from Kinsey and Teresa follows suit by wrapping her arm around the top rope, bending it in ways it was not made to bend. Suddenly, everyone's attention fixates towards the entrance area, where Stevie Swing is shown walking out, holding the World Title over her shoulder.
Not noticing this, thanks to being focused on harming Kinsey's arm, Teresa stands on the middle rope, kicking at the arm, while Stevie finally stands at ringside, overlooking things. Teresa removes Kinsey from the ropes and throws her shoulder-first into the corner, where she commences hammering away with some more shots to the arm.
It isn't until Teresa whips her opponent across the ring that she becomes aware of Stevie Swing's involvement at ringside. Upon seeing her rival, Teresa walks over to the ropes, completely taking her attention away from Kinsey Wells, who marches out of the corner, catching Teresa by surprise with a dropkick to the back of the head!
Sent flying through the ropes, Teresa lands on the apron, unable to stop herself from landing in front of Stevie, who watches from the floor. Rising up, Teresa tries to split her attention between both women, but this results in Kinsey coming over, slapping Teresa across the face and then trying to pull the hair out of her head!
Teresa clings tightly on the ropes, though, refusing to release her grip. Kinsey has her on the ropes, trying to hang on, not wanting to fall into her hands. Fighting her off, Teresa gets back onto the apron, grabs onto Kinsey and goes to suplex her to the floor, wanting to drop her onto Stevie Swing.
However, Kinsey is able to escape the attempt and land safely to the right of Teresa, standing on the apron. The two women battle it out, sending chops into each other's chest, standing just above Stevie Swing, trying to get the advantage.
After a deliberate eye-poke, Teresa stands on the middle rope, kicks Kinsey in the back of her head and hops back into the ring. Once inside, she tries to suplex her back in, hoping her previous misfortune doesn't happen again.
Unfortunately, it's ten times worse, as Stevie Swing reaches in, out of sight of the referee, and trips Teresa, resulting in Kinsey landing hard atop her! From the outside, Stevie Swing holds down Teresa's leg, not allowing the referee to see, and causing Teresa the ability to kick out.
The count is made...
...1...2...3!
In a shocker, Kinsey Wells upsets Teresa Quaranta! Laughing at what she has just caused, Stevie Swing walks to the back, patting the title and talks into the camera.
Stevie Swing: Now that's how you fuck with motherfuckers.
With a smile on her face, she disappears to the back, while a surprised and enraged Teresa Quaranta has a look of horror on her face. She gets in the referee's face, displeased with the outcome and the fact that he misses Stevie Swing's interference.
In the meantime, Kinsey Wells excitedly exits the ring and joins her trainer, Ryan Andrews, on the floor! She claps hard, telling her trainer that she is now the World Champion, but he has to remind her that it was a non-title match.
In the ring, things go from bad-to-worse for the referee when Teresa literally beats the snot out of him. After hitting him with the Devil's Advocate, she then locks on the Process of Illumination. If Corey Page were in charge, she'd get a large fine for that. Sadly, for the referee, Horatio Q. is in charge and he'll probably give her a pay raise.
Winner: Kinsey Wells
Chris Extreme: What the?
The reindeer get closer and closer, with Extreme watching in curiosity, until suddenly...
BOOM!
Dasher's hoof bucks Extreme in the head, knocking him to the ground. Along with Dasher, Extreme is swarmed by Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donder, and Blitzen. They all gang stomp him, with Extreme huddling into a ball, trying to protect himself from the stinging hooves.
Chris Extreme: Ouch... son of a! Fuck you, Comet! Goddamn you Blitzen! You whore, Vixen!
It only makes the reindeer angrier, who continue to beat the shit out of Extreme. Vixen bites his testicles, making Extreme shriek out in pain.
Mrs. Claus: That's enough, fellows.
Suddenly, Mrs. Claus appears, with Rudolph standing next to her. Mrs. Claus snaps her fingers, and the reindeer move aside, except for Dasher and Prancer who continue to hold Extreme down. Mrs. Claus gets in Extreme's face.
Mrs. Claus: You remember what you did, you sonofabitch? You killed my husband, you monster. You killed Santa Claus!
Mrs. Claus takes her gloved hand and swats Extreme across the face. Prancer and Dasher laugh, while Rudolph giggles like this: tehehe.
Chris Extreme: So what?! That was three years ago! Get over it, you old whorebag!
Mrs. Claus: Get over it?! You killed the love of my life! You killed Christmas!
Mrs. Claus fists her gloved hand and punches Extreme in his mouth.
Mrs. Claus: Shut your fucking mouth! Now listen up... you... I just talked to Horatio Q., and at the Christmas pay-per-view, I am going one on one with you, inside the steel cage, while you are special enforcer to the Casanova and Mike Phantasy match!
Chris Extreme: What?!
Mrs. Claus: Yep, that's right. Originally I was going to have my reindeer kill you, but then I decided it'd feel better if I did the job myself. So in the name of Santa, you will die Extreme -- oh you will die, and die you fucking shall at How The Horatio Stole Christmas. Now fuck off and die.
Prancer and Dasher let go of Extreme, leaving him bruised and beaten. All the reindeer follow behind Mrs. Claus as she disappears into the distance, leaving Extreme to ponder what the hell just happened.
In due time, "Scream" by Avenged Sevenfold hits and Casanova walks out from the back, with Zimdela Brudon following close behind him. Of course, they get a unanimous jeer, which doesn't bother them in the slightest. Casanova slides into the ring, while Zimdela remains on the floor, getting a spot near the ring post, waiting for the match to begin.
Just as the bell rings, Casanova explodes from his corner, catching Travis Miller with a running-forearm to the skull! Miller has no way to defend himself, as he is caught too off-guard, resulting in him flopping against the turnbuckles, which Casanova begins smashing the back of his skull off.
The former World Champ makes easy prey out of Miller, tossing him easily about from pillar to post. After driving him to the canvas with an Implant-DDT, Casanova pops right back up, stands back and waits for Miller to rise. For Miller, what he receives is not very good.
Using a running boot to the face, Casanova knocks Travis Miller onto his back, picks him up and then dumps him to the floor. He distracts the referee, getting in his face, thus allowing Miller to be attacked by Zimdela Brudon, who whips him violently into the ring steps and then stomps on him.
Lifting Miller up, Zimdela bashes his face off the ring apron and rolls him back inside. In here, Travis is fresh and easy meat for Casanova, who hovers over him, watching as he rises. From behind, Casanova applies a full-nelson, laughing at Miller's expense, as he uselessly tries to escape.
Throwing Miller mercilessly to the ground, he kicks him around a bit, laughing as he picks him back up. After dropping Travis throat-first across the top rope, Casanova lays him across the middle rope. Things take a quick turnaround, however; as Casanova bounces off the opposite set of ropes, hoping to jump onto Miller's back.
Sensing danger, Miller rolls to his left, crotching Casanova across the middle rope! With the fans on his side, Miller attacks Casanova, repeatedly striking with punches that would knock a normal man down and out.
Pulling Casanova into the center of the ring, Miller standing headscissors' him and then piledrives him onto the mat! He floats over, hooking a leg...
...1...
The count barely reaches a "one" and Casanova casually kicks out!
Going right back on the attack, Miller applies a chinlock, hoping to wear Casanova down. However, the vampire quickly regains energy, stands to his feet and backdrop drivers Miller, dropping him squarely on his head, in the middle of the ring!
Standing up, Casanova steps into the corner, watching as Travis slowly recovers. Sprinting forward, Casanova nails a vicious knee to the temple of Miller, dropping him with "Something Wicked"!
Travis Miller is down and out, unable to rise; but that doesn't stop Casanova from beating him some more. After delivering some kicks and stomps, Casanova corners Miller. Reaching down, he grabs onto both of Miller's feet, trying to pull him out of the corner. However, Miller holds onto the ropes, refusing to release them. With all of his might, Casanova pulls once more, only to have Miller put two legs together and mule-kick Casanova!
The former World Champ goes rolling across the ring, smashing into the opposite corner. He gets right back to his feet, wanting to go after Miller, seeing him try to splash him against the corner. Miller realizes this is coming, though. Dropping down, he allows Casanova to plaster himself against the turnbuckles, allowing Miller to back suplex him!
The fans are chanting for Miller, now, as he strikes at Casanova with some kicks. Just like Casanova before him, Miller corners his opponent against the turnbuckles and smashes him with his boot. Lifting Casanova up, he sits him on the top rope and climbs up alongside him.
Up here, Miller attempts a superplex, but Casanova hangs tight, putting all of his weight down. Using a thumb to the throat as an effective move, Casanova pushes Miller off the top rope and waits for him to turn around, while on the canvas. Leaping off the top rope, Casanova soars through the air, nailing the Carpe Nocturn!
Miller is prone on the canvas, allowing for Casanova to quickly stand. When the time is right, Casanova grabs Miller by the arm and pulls him near... only to instantly shift gears and nail him with Destiny Calling!
Casanova calmly and easily covers Miller...
...1...2...3!
Casanova is victorious! He jumps to his feet, laughs at Travis Miller and signals for Zimdela to join him in the ring. With pleasure, Zimdela slithers into the ring, rubbing his crotch off the apron. Licking Miller across the cheek, Zimdela stands up and joins Casanova in beating down Miller, with the fans heavily booing at them, throwing some garbage into the ring, while the bell keeper furiously strikes the bell.
Taking a minute away from the beating, Casanova walks to a corner, grabs the microphone from the ring announcer and begins speaking.
Casanova: Get a good look at this scene, folks! You're looking at two-thirds of the team that will ROLL at the next pay-per-view! Carson's team... Extreme's team... BOTH ARE FINISHED!
Casanova drops the microphone to start beating the hell out of Miller, only for the speakers to pick up a Chinese-styled version of 'Jingle Bells'. A faint 'Ho-Ho-Ho!' can be heard until the ramp is graced with an oversized rickshaw being pulled by some Chinese men. In the seat is a plump jolly old elf with a bag of toys--Santa Claus has joined the show!
Casanova: Oh, for the love of--...
'Santa' stands in the rickshaw and waves to all of the kids in the audience, but he's obviously a fake, which Casanova seems to grab right off the bat. He picks the mike up again.
Casanova: Yeah, yeah. You played this prank last week, Carson. Interrupting when you weren't called for! You better pray you've got lots of coal in that stocking for me because I'm going to beat the everloving EGGNOG out of you!
Casanova scampers out of the ring and marches up the ramp. Through a chorus of boos, he pulls the Santa off of the rickshaw and starts to beat him up on the way to the back. 'Santa' can only stumble backstage, leaving Casanova to chase after him and Zimdela in the ring to continue the fight against Miller.
Something's moving in the 'sleigh', however... seems to be something in Santa's sack that's moving. Zimdela isn't aware of it, but it suddenly bursts open with an enraged Carson jumping out of it! The crowd suddenly jumps to life as Carson dashes into the ring and starts to wail on Brudon!
Travis Miller manages to slide out of the ring while Carson ducks a crescent kick from a surprised Brudon. Carson bounces off the ropes and hits a high shoulder block into Brudon's stomach, bending him over in pain! The crowd buzzes as Carson gets Brudon into a standing position, lifts him into a giant suplex position and hits a tremendous C.C. Bomb on the big man, which makes a thunderous roar!
Carson grins to himself as he marches back to the rickshaw and drags the sack to the ring. He starts to unearth toys and throw them out to the crowd, but also extracts a folding chair from the sack, going to work on Brudon's back! Before Carson can bring too many swings, he finally drops the chair and picks up Casanova's dropped microphone...
Chris Carson: If you're Casanova's partner, then you're MY next victim! Your ass is grass at the next pay-per-view! You better bring the 'very best in pain'--I'm going to beat you until you can't feel pain anymore, bitch!
Carson slams the microphone down on the mat, then quickly grabs the sack and scatters to the crowd before Casanova is able to return. He hands out presents to the very eager crowd as he makes his way into the back exits...
There's a curtain wrapped around the area, hiding the contents inside. Curious, the camerman steps through them, baring witness to a horrifying scene. Horatio Q. has Mrs. Claus bent over a reindeer, with both of their pants and underwear down to their ankles. Horatio is thrusting back and forth, his sweaty, wrinkly old testicles slapping again Mrs. Claus' backside.
Pulling on her hair, he slaps her across the back of her grey head, shouting at her.
Horatio Q.: This is for that motherfagging yeti that always gets captured in that shitty cartoon!
He thrusts some more.
Horatio Q.: This is a trick Zimdela Brudon taught me!
He begins choking her, while thrusting.
Horatio Q.: And now--...
The cameraman accidentally disturbs some rocks. Horatio's attention whisks away from Mrs. Claus in front of him, turning towards the cameraman.
Horatio Q.: You again!
Pulling his floppy old cock out, he gives chase after the same cameraman from earlier in the night, leaving Mrs. Claus unfulfilled. Thanks to his pants being down to his ankles, he hurries after the cameraman, who runs off, getting a final glimpse of Horatio's frail, wrinkled member slapping off his thigh, like a veiny piece of raw meat.
Christopher Alexander: You're a mean one, MISTER EXTREME-SLASH-ALEXANDER! YOU REALLY ARE A KIKE!
Clasping his hands and licking his lips, he stops for a moment, only to scratch himself in various places at once.
Christopher Alexander: These goddamn fleas are annoying the fuck out of me. All of this stupid hair is getting ridiculous.
Taking a moment out of his schedule, he stops near the Great Wall, turns to it and begins to urinate on it, cocking up his left leg, marking his territory.
Christopher Alexander: God, that's so much better.
Finished scratching, he continues towards the ring, whistling the tune of Mr. Grinch to himself.
"Electric Worry" by Clutch plays and Kelvin Coolidge comes strolling out, having a calm demeanour. He walks to the ring, sans a shotgun, but with his Ultraviolence Title thrown sloppily over his shoulder. Rolling inside, he gets to his feet, stares at Chris Extreme, spits to the outside and rocks himself against the ropes.
Before things can begin, Chris Extreme extends his hand and receives the microphone from the ring announcer. He steps towards Kelvin Coolidge, about to speak.
Chris Extreme: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Stop everything.
Everything comes to a hush, allowing Chris to speak some more.
Chris Extreme: It's time to announce my final partner for Ultimate Survival. Is the suspense killing you? It's killing me.
Silence...
Chris Extreme: k. My first choice was Mike Phantasy, even though he sucks at helping me to win matches. And now, my second choice is...
He points to a relaxing Kelvin Coolidge.
Chris Extreme: It's you... Kevin Coolidge!
The referee walks up to Chris and whispers something in his ear. Chris looks inquisitvely at the referee.
Chris Extreme: Who the hell is Kelvin?
Kelvin Coolidge nods his head. Not only will he defend his Ultraviolence Title, but he'll be a part of Ultimate Survival, getting a chance for the World Title, as well.
Chris Extreme: We both like to beat up people... we both think Shaku Endbringer has noodles in his body... we both like shooting things... and we both want to win. Welcome to the group, pal. Wecome to Team Chris Alexander... or Extreme... or whatever the fuck my name is. It's better than that spicy taco, Teresa Quaranta.
Chris Extreme pats Kelvin on the shoulder.
Chris Extreme: Now, unlike Stevie Swing and that idiot, Shaku Endbringer, let's just end this right now. No tossing of each other through tables... no beating each other senseless. Get on your back, man.
Kelvin looks confused.
Chris Extreme: Do it.
Shrugging, Kelvin Coolidge is poked in the chest by Chris Extreme... and drops like a sack of bricks!
Chris Extreme: See, the Team Carson members are fucking stupid.
Chris Extreme drops down, making the cover.
Confused, the referee counts...
...1...2...
Kelvin kicks out!
Chris Extreme is confused, not knowing what the fuck.
Chris Extreme: What the fuck?!
Kelvin takes the microphone.
Kelvin Coolidge: Sorry, I wasn't comfortable.
Kelvin moves a little to the right and Chris covers him again.
The count is made...
...1...2...
Kelvin kicks out again!
Kelvin Coolidge: Sorry, just a little more.
Chris Extreme: Look, Jesus, just do it.
Kelvin Coolidge: Don't patronize me.
Moving a little more to the right, Kelvin remains on his back. Chris covers him, yet again...
...1...2...
...
...3!
This time, Kelvin remains in position, letting Chris get the cover! Thanks to this, they retain their energy and strength for How the Horatio Stole Christmas. Unfortunately, they are soon blindsided by an attack from Zimdela Brudon, who comes from the back, striking them both crowbars!
Chris Extreme/Alexander and Kelvin Coolidge fall to the canvas, holding their head, as Zimdela beats the life out of both of them! Picking up the microphone that Extreme held in his hand, Zimdela begins to speak.
Zimdela Brudon: I haven't come here to talk about... well... to talk about that particular type of sub. No, I've come to talk about people who think, who honestly believe they are dominant. I've come to talk about Corey Page.
At the sound of Corey Page's name the crowd cheers.
Zimdela Brudon: SHUT UP, WHORES! Corey Page, you think you've got all the answers. You think you've got the winning hand... and sure... maybe you have one ace; maybe you have two, but that isn't enough to compare to the hand Horatio is going to bring. Me, Casanova and Teresa are bigger and more dangerous than any card you can put out there.
The fans jeer.
Zimdela Brudon: We three united under one goal: to bring Sin Wrestling to it's knees, and then when it's on its knees, Corey, I'm going to snap its neck like a twig.
The crowd really starts trying to drown him out with boos, but he continues unfazed, simply speaking louder.
Zimdela Brudon: There was a time I thought Sin Wrestling could be saved. Washed and cleansed of the mediocrity it suffers from by wave-after-wave of ultraviolence. Now I know better. That there is no saving Sin Wrestling. Sin Wrestling was created and now it's time has past. Now...
The crowd cheers before Zimdela can go on a long spiel. Corey Page slides in the ring behind Zimdela and jumps him from behind locking on a fantastic sleeper hold! Apparently Corey Page has had enough and has snapped!
He does his best to sink the hold in deep. As a result, Zimdela Brudon is taken back by this attack, not seeing it coming and stumbles around for a few seconds before he reaches a hand back and grabs Corey Page by the head. With great strength, he is able to flip Corey over, releasing the hold, making him land on his back, hard.
Corey Page gets up, holding his back, as Zimdela steps back a few feet, with his fists in the air, villainously screaming at Corey Page.
Zimdela Brudon: I'm going to kill Sin Wrestling!
Corey doesn't seem shaken at all, as he charges against the ropes, looking to rebound with momentum toward Brudon!
...Unfortunately, he doesn't see Casanova racing down and sliding into the ring! Out of nowhere, Casanova blasts Corey Page with a kick to the abdomen and then delivers a delibrate boot to the temple!
The former boss seems out of it, stunned on the mat, while Casanova and Brudon loom ominously over him. The audience booing goes up a few notches, as Brudon drops to the mat, beside Corey and begins rubbing his chest!
Suddenly, Corey suddenly finds a second wind to try fighting him off, but Casanova pins his arms down! Zimdela begins forcing himself on Corey Page, giving him an Alternative Life kiss of death, complete with disgusting amounts of tongue!
Page fights furiously, almost vomiting, but Casanova has him pinned helplessly with all of the the legend's weight! Brudon's hand begins making its way down Corey's chest... and over his abdomen...
The audience suddenly bursts into cheers, as familiar faces appear on the stage! Travis Miller and Mike Phantasy are racing down to the ringside area! Both of them are armed with chairs! Zimdela Brudon spots them first, and quickly rolls out of the ring, looking dissatisfied with his violation of Corey Page getting cut short. Casanova, however, stomps Corey a few more times, before finally looking to escape.
Unfortunately, he doesn't see that Chris Extreme has revived and is now holding the crowbar. Chris Extreme swings... but Casanova ducks to the floor, escaping from danger!
Zimdela Brudon and Casanova walk up the exit ramp... but they are then attacked by an incoming Chris Carson, who goes wild, attacking them both! Soon, though, Carson is outnumbered and Zimdela and Casanova beat him down... with Horatio Q. even jogging out, making an appearance, slapping Carson in the face and then pointing to a now recovering Corey Page!
...only to bring out Shaku Endbringer, who makes the save for his teammate! Shaku is brawling with Casanova and Zimdela. Mike Phantasy exits the ring, runs up the aisle and gets involved, as well!
Seeing Shaku Endbringer sparks a flame for Kelvin Coolidge, who rolls to the floor, having revived from the shot to the skull. He grabs two chairs and joins the fracas, smashing them against anyone and everyone!
Chris Extreme is there, too! He is bashing anyone in his path, even biting Zimdela's arm! He grabs Horatio Q. and twists his nipples!
Corey Page stumbles up the entrance... he jumps on Horatio Q., but is then peeled off by Casanova and Zimdela... but they are then whacked by Chris Carson... who is then punched by Mike Phantasy! Teresa Quaranta is out now, too! Why the hell not?!
The World Champion dives into the pit of people, with bodies and arms flying everywhere. In the midst of this, Corey Page is flung into the air, almost body surfing, except he is thrown halfway across the entrance, landing on his face! Horatio is then struck with a punch from Carson... who is then struck by Teresa Quaranta!
Kinsey Wells is out, now. She wants some of the action. Actually, wait, no, she stands back, just randomly punching people that come out of the group of people.
Here comes Redmaine... and then Limbo... they attack Travis Miller, who had made his presence felt! Miller fights off, thanks to some help by Mike Phantasy, who has a random chair strike him across the back of a skull! Horatio Q. hides behind Kinsey Wells, shielding himself from Corey Page... but Casanova then kicks Corey in the kidneys, dropping him!
Chris Extreme and Kelvin Coolidge are beaten by Shaku and Zimdela... only to have Mike Phantasy step in and then get double-clotheslined, making him flip in the air! Realizing who they're standing next to, Shaku and Zimdela then begin changing blows... only to then be attacked by a shovel-wielding Kelvin Coolidge!
Everyone fights near the Great Wall. The audience's attention soon turns upward, focusing on Stevie Swing, who is at the top of the wall. She is pointing and yelling at everyone below her. She steps onto the ledge... and she jumps off with a Shooting Star Press!
Gravity works its magic on Stevie, as she plummets to the ground, crashing onto all the fighting participants, knocking everyone over like bowling pins!
Chaos is aboud, fighting is everywhere. It's a fitting preview for How the Horatio Stole Christmas, which is the next show. Speaking of which, the final image of the night is that of Horatio Q. punching Corey Page in the crotch... and then returns to hiding behind Kinsey Wells, who is then slapped by Teresa Quaranta... who then turns to Stevie, who is just getting up and punching her... and Casanova knees Chris Extreme... and Travis Miller superkicks Redmaine... and...
Fade out.
Winner: Chris Extreme