Chris Extreme: Down you go, you big, clueless monkey.
Secondslater, the ammonia forces Khadafi's eyes to roll back in his head and his legs to gave out beneath him. It's only a matter of time before he is on his back, with Chris Extreme leaning over him.
Chris Extreme: We're going to go for a little ride.
Heading towards Khadafi's feet, Chris grabs both ankles and drags him away. Fade out.
Lex Robinson: Adora, our Television Champion, arrives at the ringside area to begin tonight's events! This is our third-ever edition of Over The Top Rope, and we will be crowning a 2007 Sin Trophy winner tonight. Not only that, but the winner of tonight's battle royal, will take on Nikita, our World Champ!
Steve Hebert: Can I get a chance to speak, Lex, or what?
Lex Robinson: Sure. This is Steve Hebert, folks. He'll be calling the action with me tonight. What do you have to say, Steve?
Steve Hebert: Nothing, really. I'm good.
Lex Robinson: Well... all right, then!
"Takin Ova" by Tommy Tee hits and Shawn Samson walks to the ring, wanting to take the title off Adora.
Steve Hebert: This is the guy that hates women, right?
Lex Robinson: Something like that, yes.
Steve Hebert: Well, good. I like him.
Lex Robinson: You would.
Steve Hebert: Damn right.
Rolling inside, Shawn Samson immediately goes after Adora, not even waiting for the bell.
Lex Robinson: Caught off-guard, Adora is taken aback when Shawn Samson walks up to her and kicks her in the gut, forcing her to drop the title. Kicking it out of the ring, Shawn clubs Adora across her upper-back, chops her in the chest and then whips her across the ring, smashing her against the other corner.
Steve Hebert: And Samson is following in, his shoulder pointed directly at the bitch...
Before he can connect, Adora catapults out of the way, forcing Shawn Samson to crash into the corner, shoulder-first. Leaping up to her feet, Adora wisely connects with a stiff roundhouse kick to the back of Samson's head, keeping him cornered, where she unloads a varied amounts of punches and strikes to Samson's body.
Lex Robinson: Adora is unloading with a load of strikes onto the misogynist!
Steve Hebert: Agh, fight that bitch off, Samson.
Lex Robinson: Springing off the middle rope, Adora leaps into the air and strikes Shawn Samson in the temple with a harsh kick! Grabbing him by the ears, she chops him up against the ropes and whips him across the ring. As he bounces back, Adora leaps into the air and hits him with a spin wheel kick, knocking him off his feet!
Steve Hebert: Good God, he's getting beaten up by a girl. How embarrassing is this?
Lex Robinson: Shawn Samson is laid out perfectly, allowing Adora to hit a split-legged springboard moonsault off the top rope. She goes for the cover...
...1...2...
Steve Hebert: His foot is on the ropes!
Lex Robinson: You're right, Steve. As the two is made, Shawn Samson, aware of his surroundings, place his right foot on the bottom rope. Seeing this, the referee stops the count, thereby keeping the match moving.
Steve Hebert: Phew. What a dent it would be to Shawn Samson's pride to lose to a woman.
Lex Robinson: Considering Adora is not just any woman, she is the Television Champion, I beg to differ.
Steve Hebert: Pffft, fuck credentials.
Hopping up, Adora takes Shawn Samson up along with her, giving him some more martial-arts kicks, as they stand. She turns around and runs towards the nearest set of ropes. As she storms back, Shawn shrugs off his damage and throws a clothesline at Morgy's Wifey.
Lex Robinson: Adora side-steps the clothesline; and instead, gives him a crucifix... she rolls Shawn Samson up...!
Steve Hebert: Uh oh. Oh no.
The referee starts the count...
...1...2...
Steve Hebert: Shawn Samson kicks out!
Lex Robinson: But Adora isn't giving him a chance to recover! She storms right back up, delivers a leaping spin kick to his jaw and drops him to the canvas. She is now climbing to the top rope... and hits a somersault senton bomb!
Steve Hebert: Ugh...
Lex Robinson: After hitting the previous move, she rolls her way up to her feet and springboards onto the top rope. What's next?
Steve Hebert: Get up, Shawn; get up.
Lex Robinson: I think her move, the Lady Godiva Blues, is up next!
Steve Hebert: Oh fuck. In that case, stay down, Shawn; stay down!
In the ring, Shawn isn't able to comply with Steve Hebert's wishes, as he slowly rises to his feet, stumbles around and turns to face Adora. Once they lock eyes, Adora somersaults off the top rope. On her way down, Adora huracanranas Shawn Samson, rolling him straight up with the rana.
Lex Robinson: There it is! The count is being made...!
...1...2...3!
Lex Robinson: With ease, Adora retains the Television Title!
Steve Hebert: Bah! I can't believe he lost... and to a girl!
Lex Robinson: I guess sexism is the new being cool.
Steve Hebert: Screw you.
Receiving her Television Title from the referee, Adora steps out of the ring and walks to the back, slapping the hands of several fans, before she disappears behind the curtain. Shawn Samson, meanwhile, remains in the ring, looking very displeased about the loss.
Winner: Adora
Chris Extreme: All right, Negro Khadafi. Let's ride to this Newfoundland place. I don't knowwhere the hell it is, but I'm sure there's a lot of white folks there. If not...
Chris reaches into the driver's side and pulls out a shotgun, cocking it.
Chris Extreme: There'll be hell to pay.
The savior of the white man, Chris Extreme, takes the shotgun and lays it in the back of the truck. As of now, still no sign of Ali Khadafi can be seen.
Chris Extreme: Someone dies, someone flies. Only fools are enslaved by time and space.
After mumbling some of those odds phrases, Chris sits in the driver's side of his automobile, slamming the white door behind him. A screech of tires can be heard as Chris pulls away from the arena, sending sandand dust behind him...
...Dragging Ali Khadafi along with a rope that has been attached to Khadafi's right foot and large cock.
Chris's white truck turns the corner and pulls away, having Khadafi tearing and dragging on the ground.
Lex Robinson: Up next, we have a double-debut "prove yourself" match!
Steve Hebert: Hell yeah! I'm excited! So very excited to watch two people I have never seen or heard of before!
Lex Robinson: Well, to tell the truth, Darkfalls, who is also in this match was briefly signed to a Sin Wrestling contract last year.
Steve Hebert: Oh.
Lex Robinson: ...Yes, well, I can see your enthralled. Speaking of Darkfalls, he's out next.
A roar of a motorcycle engines deafens the crowd and then "Violence Fetish" Disturbed hits as smoke begins to cloud the entranceway. A shadow appears within the smoke, suddenly piercing through through the smoke on the motorcycle. Darkfalls rides down to the ring, to the amusement of the fans, circling around the ring either awaiting his target or staring into the mark in the ring. He finally stops, gets off the bike and just walks up the steps, where he takes a deep breath before he enters the ring.
Steve Hebert: You've got to be kidding me. This faggot just came out here on a bike.
Lex Robinson: It is a motorcycle.
Steve Hebert: It doesn't make it any less retarded. Holy Jesus.
Lex Robinson: Ehh..
Once he's inside, Darkfalls steps near the ropes, testing them out, while Synn remains across the ring from him.
Steve Hebert: Look at Synn... squatting down like he needs to shit; his face allcovered in that gothtastic facepaint. I think he has a cramp, Lex.
Lex Robinson: Uhm... no.
Steve Hebert: Hey, I'm here to care.
The bell rings and the two newcomers immediately head towards the center of the ring, where they lock-up, with the larger man, Synn, headlocking Darkfalls. Darkfalls, looking for an escape, backs Synn up against the ropes, hammers him in the gut with a forearm and then pushes him out.
Lex Robinson: Darkfalls successfully frees himself from the side-headlock. He now sends Synn forward, bouncing him off the ropes. When Synn returns, he runs right into a shoulderblock attempt from Darkfalls, which does absolutely nothing.
Steve Hebert: Go figure. At this rate, the ring will soon be covered in goth.
Lex Robinson: Now what the hell does that mean?
Steve Hebert: Look at them! They're goth to the max! I wouldn't be surprised if they both commenced slitting their wrists in the ring.
Lex Robinson: Who knows.
Steve Hebert: All I know is that Darkfalls was just taken down by a wicked clothesline from Synn, who honestly doesn't flinch from that prior shoulderblock. After torpedoing off the ropes, Synn again returns, this time, connecting with a harsh clothesline, nearly knocking Darkfalls's head square off his shoulders.
Lex Robinson: For a moment there, I thought you said "horse clothesline".
Steve Hebert: Believe me, if he had hit him with a horse, I'd be much more impressed.
Lex Robinson: There may not be any horsies, but Synn just stomped on Darkfalls's skull, kicking it as if it were a soccer ball.
Steve Hebert: In Europe, they'd say "football".
Lex Robinson: ...Yes. Obviously. I know.
Steve Hebert: Good!
Strangling Darkfalls, Synn holds him up against the ropes, positioning him over the middle rope, where he commences kneeing his opponent in the back. After taking a moment to choke him over the rope, Synn bounces off the opposite set of ropes and storms back, hoping to leap onto Darkfalls's back.
Lex Robinson: Here comes Synn...
Steve Hebert: That other goth moves out of the way! That goth with the painted-face and fire in his eyes, aka Flame Jr., lands crotch-first across the middle rope!
Lex Robinson: Ouch. Surely, he'll be bruised tomorrow.
Steve Hebert: His poor testicles.
Leaping right up to his feet, Darkfalls takes advantage of his opponent's terrible predicament, immediately launching himself towards Synn with a leaping dropkick, keeping Synn tied-up to the ropes. From here, Darkfalls rises and commences delivering a barrage of knees to Synn's spine, even striking him with an array of punches and forearms to the neck.
Lex Robinson: Darkfalls is making sure Synn doesn't remove himself from those ropes.
Steve Hebert: So it seems.
Lex Robinson: Furthermore, Darkfalls reaches up and then delivers a neckbreaker to Synn, dropping him onto his back, removing him from the ropes. After delivering some stomps onto Synn's chest, Darkfalls bounces off the ropes and speeds back with acorkscrew-elbowdrop, snapping his elbow directly into Synn's chest. Following that, he lifts Synn up, backs him into the corner with a series of kicks and punches and bashes his skull off the top turnbuckle pad. Turning him around, Darkfalls climbs up onto the second rope and starts pounding at Synn's painted-face.
Steve Hebert: That doesn't last that long, though, as he shoves Darkfalls off, knocking him onto his back.
Lex Robinson: Quickly snapping back up, Darkfalls scurries back in and returns to his climb-and-pound technique, but again, he is shoved off.
Steve Hebert: This time, as Darkfalls goes to charge in, Synn pops his right foot up, connecting with a jarring strike to Darkfalls's jaw, dropping him on his back.
Ruggedly plucking Darkfalls up to his feet, Synn switches things around by placing Darkfalls in the corner, holding him against the turnbuckle pads. After swatting at him with some clubbing blows to the chest, Synn Irish-whips Darkfalls into the corner and follows in, wishing to nail a charging shoulderblock to the gut. However, seconds after colliding against the pads, Darkfalls realizes the incoming freight train called Synn and leaps up-and-over Synn, sunset-flipping him.
Lex Robinson: Synn tries to squash Darkfalls into the corner, but it backfires! Instead, Darkfalls leaps over him and is now rolling him up...
Steve Hebert: We might have a pinfall...!
Lex Robinson: One...
...1...
Lex Robinson: Two...
...2...
Lex Robinson: Thr--
Steve Hebert: Hells nah, Synn kicks out!
Lex Robinson: Just barely. He was caught off-guard there.
Steve Hebert: Needless to say, he doesn't like that. He decides to "goth-up" and stand to hisfeet. He should put some more mascara on, too.
Lex Robinson: ...It's not... nevermind.
Steve Hebert: See?!
Lex Robinson: Synn darts back up, shocked about the sudden pinfall-attempt from Darkfalls. He focuses on Darkfalls, who is second behind Synn in climbing to his feet. As a result, Synn is able to knee Darkfalls in the face, knocking him off-balance.
Steve Hebert: And now. he kicks Darkfalls in the gut. Or in the nuts. One of those.
Lex Robinson: Indeed. He pulls Darkfalls in with a standing headscissors, points to the corner, obviously gesturing for a powerbomb into the turnbuckle pads. If he hits this, it could be treacherous for Darkfalls's sake.
Steve Hebert: In other words, it'd be "one dead goth".
Lifting Darkfalls up onto his shoulders, he goes to run into the corner, but is thwarted when Darkfalls is able to slip out from behind him. Darkfalls takes it upon himself to waistlock Synn, push him against the turnbuckles and then Okana Roll him.
Lex Robinson: A rollup from Darkfalls!
...1...2...
Steve Hebert: And again, Flame Jr. kicks out! Go figure.
Lex Robinson: My God, he's not Flame Jr.
Steve Hebert: You could have fooled me!
At approximately the same time, both men rise, with Darkfalls being the first man up, surprising Synn with a flurry of forearms and punches, even finishing up with a swinging back-hand chop to the neck. He has Synn dazed so much, that Synn does not see Darkfalls bouncing off the ropes, returning to hit him with a flying knee strike.
Lex Robinson: Blammo! Two knees to the face of Synn knocks him on his back!
Steve Hebert: Well shit. That was like some kind of weird wire-fu action.
Lex Robinson: With no strings attached, though. Having Synn exactly where he wants, Darkfalls turns to the corner, and without haste, steadily climbs to the top rope. He flies off, hitting a frog splash, a move that he calls the " D.O.A."! He covers Synn...
...1...2...3!
Lex Robinson: ...Amd that is that! Winner of his first 'official' Sin Wrestling... Darkfalls!
Steve Hebert: Also known as "The Goth on the Bike".
Lex Robinson: God, shut up.
Steve Hebert: Well, it's hard to distinguish. God!
Having his hand raised, Darkfalls celebrates his victory by exiting the ring, climbing onto his bike and driving it to the back, much to the delight of the fans.
Winner: Darkfalls
A sign reads the above, as Chris Extreme pulls into a check-in dock, ready to board the ferry that will get him to Newfoundland. He pulls up to the check-in area, where he is greeted by an incompetent security guard.
Security Guard: Uh, hello? I see you are boarding the ferry to Newfoundland.
Chris Extreme: Yes.
Security Guard: All right...
He begins to check everything over, noticing the shotgun in the back of the truck, he questions Chris about it.
Security Guard: Why is there a gun in the back of your truck?
Nervous, Chris stumbles and slurs over his words.
Chris Extreme: Uh... well... you see... I have it to... I have it to hunt some blacks.
Secutity Guard: ...Huh?
Chris Extreme: Uh, I mean, I'm going to hunt some bears.
Security Guard: Oh. Well, that's better.
Chris Extreme: Yep.
Security Guard: You may pass.
Chris Extreme: Fucking awesome.
Chris drives his truck onto the ferry, dragging Ali Khadafi behind him. As Khadafi passes the check-in area, the security guard doesn't even realize the mangled body being dragged behind the truck.
Adora: It's gonnabe one of us! You just know it! I got rid of that misogynist creep, Shawn Samson, and now one of us can have the chance to win the World Title from Nikita.
Morgana: "A chance"? We will!
Adora: For sure!
Their cackling continues for a short while longer, when suddenly a knock comes on the door.
Voice: A Valentine's Day delivery for Ms. Adora Reed!
Upon hearing that, both ladies seem confused.
Adora: Did you get me something?
Morgana: Nope. I gave you chocolates earlier, but nothing for now.
Speaking of the chocolates, Morgana takes the box and eats one.
Morgana: Mmmm... sweet, sweet chocolate.
Adora: Well then, what is this?
Morgana: Who knows. Go answer the door.
Morgana shoos Adora over. In wonder, Adora turns the doorknob, revealing an odd image. Standing before her is a bouquet of red roses, which are being held up by someone who's face is being hidden behind the rose red petals. Having her interesting piqued, Adora reaches forward and grabs the card.
Adora: Hmmm...
Morgana: Who is it? Who is it?! Read it out!
Adora: "To Adora; My love, I have missed having you around. I have followed you to Newfoundland just to give you these. Signed, 'turn around'"
Morgana: What the...? "Turn around"?
Adora: "Turn around"...
Doing as the card asks, Adora turns around, seeing that the roses have been lowered, revealing the form of a short, middle-aged Chinese man standing before her, having a huge smile on his face, and an erection in his pants.
Adora: ...Mr. Huang?!
Mr. Huang, Adora's former high school math teacher, positions himself in front of her.
Mr. Huang: Adorafey! I've missed you so much!
Having the erection in his pants, he begins to step toward Adora, looking to give her a big hug and smooch. Luckily for Adora, she is able to get her hand up, presses against his chest and stops him in his tracks. Speaking with a Chinese accent, he ponders Adora's reasoning.
Mr. Huang: Huh? You no likey Mr. Huang? Me + you = my heart.
Cocking an eyebrow, Adora shakes her head.
Adora: No, Mr. Huang.
Mr. Huang: But... but... but... it's Valentine's Day!
Adora: I know, Mr. Huang. Please go away, Mr. Huang.
Mr. Huang: But... but... but...
She forces him out of the room, slamming the door shut behind him. You can still hear him give some cries out to his love, Adora. Dusting her hands off, Adora locks the door, steps over to Morgana and shakes her head.
Morgana: My God, what a creepy douchebag.
Adora: Mmmhmmm. Ugh.
The scene ends with the sounds of Mr. Huang pounding on the locker-room door, with The Wifeys ignoring his pleas for love.
Steve Hebert: It's Johnnyboy. What a good essay.
Lex Robinson: I think you mean esé.
Steve Hebert: Hell no, I'm writing an essay here, see?
Lex Robinson: Oh...
A Perfect Circle's "Counting Bodies Like Sheep To The Rhythm of the War Drums" starts playing, as the arena's lights dim and red lights at the entrance start flashing to the beat of the song.
from the window
Go back to sleep
Safe from pain and truth and choice and other poison devils,
See, they don't give a fuck about you, like I do.
At this moment, Konstantin Bryzgalov comes marching out from the entrance, down to the ring in a ring jacket, with Brody Reno following behind him. He quickly gets to the end of the aisle and stands there.
Count the bodies like sheep
Counting bodies like sheep
To the rhythm of the war drums
Finally, Konstantin rips off his ring jacket and rolls into the ring.
Steve Hebert: The angry Russian! Konstantin Berg-a-lov!
Lex Robinson: Are you on drugs again, Steve?
Steve Hebert: I wonder if he has any Russian Vodka in the back. Mmm, Russians.
Lex Robinson: The match starts right away with a Yakuza kick by Konstantin.
Steve Hebert: Poor little Johnnyboy flies half way across the ring.
Konstantin Bryzgalov follows up quickly and plucks Johnnyboy off the mat for a powerslam and has no trouble in doing so. The Russian then tries to continue the assault by jumping into the air and driving his knee into Johnnyboy's throat, but Johnnyboy moves just in time. Using his size as an advantage, Johnnyboy hurries and runs toward Konstantin's turned back and somersaults over him. As Johnnyboy falls, he grabs Konstantin by the back of the head or neck for an Inverted Neck Snap.
Steve Hebert: Look at the little guy go! Go! You can do it!
Lex Robinson: However, Konstantin doesn't stay down long at all and retaliates with a Military Press!
Steve Hebert: Ay yi yi, no es bueno.
Lex Robinson: ...what?
Steve Hebert: Come on, Lex, get into the spirit.
As Steve Hebert reaches under his desk and grabs a piñata, the action continues in the ring. Konstantin sends Johnnyboy's head spiraling with several hard head-butts that seem not to phase the Russian at all. He follows this up by scooping Johnnyboy up like a ragdoll and executing a backbreaker. Konstantin leaves Johnnyboy little time to rest as he pulls him up from the mat and whips him into the ropes. Upon return, Johnnyboy's head is nearly knocked off his shoulders with a thunderous clothesline. Meanwhile, Steve Hebert has taken out scissors and cut the head off the piñata.
Lex Robinson: That's not how you do it, Steve.
Steve Hebert: Buenas noches.
Lex Robinson: Can I at least have some candy?
Steve Hebert: Ay y- shut the fuck up.
Johnnyboy is like a feather to the 284 pounder, who picks him up and tosses him, belly first, onto the ropes. Johnnyboy snaps off and lands on his back, in the ring.
Lex Robinson: Konstantin could finish this off right here, but he's having too much fun with the little guy.
Steve Hebert: Konstantin's picking Johnnyboy up and sitting him on the ropes. What's he going for, Lex?
Lex Robinson: He's climbing to the second rope himself, it looks like he's going for a suplex.
Steve Hebert: He better not break the ring.
Lex Robinson: Oh! Johnnyboy manages to shove Konstantin away but he gets to his feet quickly.
Steve Hebert: My little Mexican is going for a huracanrana!
Lex Robinson: But Konstantin catches him midair and drops him for a sit-out powerbomb. God damn ouch.
Once again, Konstantin pulls Johnnyboy to his feet and allows him to staggar around tired and aimlessly before placing him in a full nelson camel clutch.
Lex Robinson: Konstantin Lock number two!
Steve Hebert: Come on little guy! Don't give in!
Lex Robinson: I think he's done for, Steve.
Johnnyboy taps at the air and tells the ref he quits, who immediately calls for the bell. Johnnyboy quickly rolls out of the ring and heads to the back while Konstantin's arm is raised in victory.
Lex Robinson: Konstantin Bryzgalov advances to the battle royal!
Steve Hebert: Dios no me ama.
Lex Robinson: No, god does not love you, Steve.
Before the cameras cut out, Steve Hebert grabs the head of the piñata and shoves it onto Lex Robinson's head.
Winner: Konstantin Bryzgalov
"Now arriving in Newfoundland!"
Some random crew member shouts out the following, notifying everyone about the fact that the ferry has officially docked. Again, the camera goes to Chris Extreme, who has some sort of cameraman following him, documenting his travel to St. John's, Newfoundland.
The boat is docked and everyone is allowed off, including Chris, who drives onto the nearby land, pulling Ali Khadafi along with him. As he leaves, Khadafi accidentally trips some people, which is the price to pay for being dragged by Chris Extreme. Nevertheless, Chris continues on his excursion, hoping to find the arena.
The miniscule Asian man that we met earlier in the night, Mr. Huang, sits alone on a stool in the backstage. He is hunched over, holding his head in his hands, sniffling very loudly and obnoxiously, whining about not being wanted by Adora. Every now and then, a hot babe will pass by, allowing him to engage their rear-end with a soft, steady gaze, as they pass by, thus muting his moans.
Nevertheless, as each buxom lady passes, he resumes his crying. That is, until Stryker Graff, Sin Wrestling's resident romantic, walks next to him. Noticing Mr. Huang crying, Stryker Graff steps near him and pasts him on the back.
Stryker Graff: There, there, it's all right. I know you're sad now, but it'll be all right. Just watch how a real man gets women.
From inside of his pocket, Stryker Graff removes a diamond ring.
Mr. Huang: But I just wanted Adorafey!
Stryker Graff: Like I said, just watch a real man in action and learn some tips.
Stryker pats Mr. Huang on the back once more, and then walks away, brandishing a devilish smile on his face.
Your Dark Prince...
Has Returned...
A single light shines on the stage, and standing in the middle of the light, is "The Dark Prince" Stryker Graff. With a look of determination, he cracks that trademark smile of his and makes his way down to the ringside area. He slides under the bottom rope and stands in the middle of the ring, where he spreads his arms out, calling for the lights to shine back on.
Steve Hebert: Oh boy, it's my new mancrush, Stryker Graff!
Lex Robinson: I thought mike Phantasy was your mancrush?
Steve Hebert: What? Hell no. Fuck him.
Lex Robinson: You're just jealous that he now has Nikita.
Steve Hebert: Are you goddamn nuts? Nikita looks like a gothic gorilla. I do not want any gothic gorillas, Lex.
Lex Robinson: Sure.
The lights in the arena dim as the SW Screen lights up, signaling the entrance
of the youngest Sin Wrestling Hall of Famer.
The words illuminate the screen for several seconds, as fog begins to roll onto the stage and entrance ramp.
Down a hole, up a rope
Down some pills, up some hope
This karma machine only takes quarters
New age soldier, new age soldier
Matthew Good's voice creeps out of the speakers, as the lights grow all the more darker, and the illuminated words on the SW-Screen pulsate with color all the more rapidly. During the second time the words "new age soldier" are said, the song cuts and the stage erupts in silver colored fireworks. As the smoke begins to subside, the song picks up exactly where it lets off, and the SW-Screen begins to show highlights of Mike Phantasy's greatest matches.
Everybody's all right
Everything is automatic
And everybody's all right
Everything is skin deep
Finally, Mike Phantasy rushes out of fog to a cheering crowd, apart from a few die-hard Mike Phantasy haters. Phantasy pauses while walking down the ring-ramp to look around at the arena before him, grinning at the signs endorsing him. Then, he looks toward the ring, slowly making his way down to it; his upbeat demeanor slowly melting into a solemn one. When finally inside of the ring, Mike sits on the turnbuckle nearest to him and awaits the beginning of the match.
Lex Robinson: Aren't you going to praise Mike, Steve?
Steve Hebert: Shut your hole.
Ding, ding, ding!
Lex Robinson: The bell rings and Mike hops down off the turnbuckle and walks into the center of the ring, where he goes face-to-face with Stryker Graff.
Steve Hebert: You know, Stryker has promised to marry Nikita tonight. Did you know that?
Lex Robinson: I can honestly say I did not know. How is he planning on doing this? GHB? Rohypnol?
Steve Hebert: You and your love of rape.
An arrogant Stryker Graff meets Mike Phantasy in the center of the ring, smirks and then slaps him across the face.
Steve Hebert: Haha! That's the shot heard 'round the world!
Lex Robinson: Mike Phantasy certainly doesn't like that! Taking a moment to think to himself, Mike explodes from his standing position and tackles Stryker Graff, knocking him on his back! Taking a stance over Stryker, Mike straddles Stryker and unloads a series of furious punches to the face!
Steve Hebert: Oh no! Stryker's pretty face! Whatever will he do?!
Lex Robinson: Finished with the punches, Mike stands to his feet and starts stomping on his face and head, wishing to keep Stryker grounded. Having a handful of Stryker's hair, Mike knees him in the face, keeping him cornered, lining him up against the middle turnbuckle pad. Stepping back, Mike charges forward, wanting to connect with a running knee to the face, but Stryker slips out to the floor, thus Mike's knee smashes against the middle turnbuckle pad!
Steve Hebert: Praise Jesus. Wisely, Stryker trips Mike Phantasy up, stopping him from stumbling out. Instead, he groins Mike against the ring post, hooks onto his leg and then smashes it against the ring post! He continues to roar, twist and bend Mike's left leg around the steel post, hoping to put Mike Phantasy into a wheelchair!
Lex Robinson: That's not good, at all, for Mike. Especially since he enjoys using high-flying maneuvers. If his launcher is broken, how can he fly?
Steve Hebert: He's one grounded scud missile.
Rolling back inside, while Mike's legs remained tied-up around the post, Stryker unloads with some stomps onto Mike's chest, wishing to knock the air right out of Mike's lungs. Pulling Mike out a little, Stryker takes Mike's left leg, places it onto the bottom rope and then propels himself into the air, driving back down with a knee to his leg.
Lex Robinson: Stryker continues working over Mike's legs.
Steve Hebert: Hey, it's a smart move.
Lex Robinson: Indeed. We've been over this.
Steve Hebert: I'm just solidifing it, Lex! It just shows how much of a genius Stryker is!
Lex Robinson: After applying a short-lived single-leg Boston Crab, Stryker Graff twists Mike over and commences kicking and stomping at his knee and leg. Stryker then twists Mike's leg around his very own, applying a spinning toe-hold, which enables Stryker to hunch over and slap Mike in the face a few times.
Steve Hebert: Haha, 10/10. He takes a page out of my book.
Lex Robinson: You're not even a wrestler!
Steve Hebert: If I were, it'd be something I'd so!
Lex Robinson: There's no doubt about that, then.
Steve Hebert: Don't be jealous.
Lex Robinson: After dropping a knee onto Mike's knee, Stryker goes for another spinning toehold, only to have Mike use his free, healthy leg to kick Stryker in the rear-end, sending him chest-first into the turnbuckle pads! Stryker stumbles back...
Steve Hebert: Oh Jesus, it's a rollup.
Lex Robinson: Mike Phantasy with a schoolboy-rollup on Stryker Graff...
...1...2...
Lex Robinson: But Stryker kicks out!
Steve Hebert: Phew. Holy shit. Let's stop things like that from happening.
Lex Robinson: It all depends on how badly Stryker wants to win.
Steve Hebert: It seems like he badly wants to win, as he is quickly up to his feet and hammering Mike with some fists to his head and upper-back!
Lex Robinson: Turning Mike around, Stryker hoists him up onto his shoulders, keeping him in a reverse fireman's carry position. He throws him over, looking to hit a reverse Death Valley Driver... but Mike lands on his feet! Leaping up, Mike connects with an enziguiri to the back of Stryker's head, hitting him with that injured left leg of his!
Steve Hebert: Oh God, what the hell?
Lex Robinson: Mike was able to suck-up the pain and use that leg to strike Stryker.
Steve Hebert: But it isn't without its own repercussions. Winces are quite apparant on Mike's face, as he tries to stand and bend that leg.
Lex Robinson: I would think so. Stryker really worked it over quite well. Nevertheless, he turns around and prevents Stryker Graff from rising, giving him a hard right knee to the face. Plucking Graff, the former World Champ, up to his feet, Mike snaps him over with a quick vertical suplex, sending him hard on his back.
Steve Hebert: This is horrrrrrible.
Grabbing onto Stryker Graff's long, free-flowing hair, Mike punches him in the temple and backs him against the turnbuckle pads, where he then commences giving him some more kneelifts. After an Irish-whip into the opposite corner, Stryker smashes hard off the turnbuckle pads and stumbles out, only to walk directly into a reverse Russian legsweep.
Lex Robinson: Mike Phantasy takes a page out of... well... out of Corey Page's textbook! He hits him with a version of Corey's "Youthanasia"!
Steve Hebert: Aren't you full of puns today?
Lex Robinson: Why yes, I am!
After dropping Stryker with a running bulldog, Mike Phantasy points to the corner, almost seemingly regaining full strength in his left leg. He steps into the corner and begoms to slowly ascend.
Lex Robinson: Mike is calling for something.
Steve Hebert: He's taking so goddamn long, though. My grandmother could have raced him up there... and that old bag is dead!
Lex Robinson: It's true. He's taking quite a long time...
Just as Stryker Graff puts both feet on the top rope, Stryker Graff gets to his feet, realizes what's happening and charges into the corner.
LeX Robinson: Stryker Graff kicks Mike Phantasy in his left leg, sweeping it out from beneath him! As a result, Mike crotches himself... and I think he may have just blown out Mike's knee!
Steve Hebert: Sounds good to me.
Lex Robinson: Taking a deep breath, Stryker reaches up, grabs Mike by his hair and then slaps him across the face. From here, he then hangs Mike upside-down, placing him in a reverse Tree-of-Woe. Stryker walks towards the opposite corner and charges out, racing across the ring, only to hit a baseball-slide dropkick to the back of Mike's head!
Steve Hebert: He's safe! Mike Phantasy, in the meantime, is out!
Lex Robinson: How witty.
With Mike still hanging in the corner, Stryker grabs onto his left leg and returns to trying to damage it; going as far as to wrap it around the top rope, much to the chagrin of the referee. Once he is forced to release the hold, Stryker uses great force in pulling Mike down and then stomps on him some more.
Steve Hebert: Look at those kicks. Even when he is kicking a fallen douchebag, Stryker Graff is handsome.
Lex Robinson: ...God.
Steve Hebert: What? Quit your bitchin'.
The attention of the fans in the arena soon turns towards the entrance, where they watch Nikita walk to the ring, holding the World Title over her right shoulder. Looking on with great concern for Mike, she arrives at the ringside area and starts cheering him on.
Steve Hebert: Well, well, well... look who's here.
Lex Robinson: Nikita's out to offer some moral support to Mike.
Steve Hebert: More like she's trying to hurry up the wedding.
Lex Robinson: Nikita would never marry an awful bastard such as Styker Graff.
Steve Hebert: We'll have to see about that; won't we?
Lex Robinson: Ugh. When Stryker realizes Nikita is there, he blows a kiss at her. How disgusting.
Steve Hebert: Nikita is disgusted, too. How dare she! That's not how to treat your future husband!
Lex Robinson: Holy Jesus, shut up.
Kicking Mike until he is on his side, Stryker hunches down, places a knee into Mike's back and then gives him a modified surfboard-stretch, by yanking on his left leg, while pulling back simultaneously on his left arm. Yells can be heard coming from Mike, while Nikita strikes the mat, wanting to get the fans behind Mike's struggles.
Lex Robinson: Nikita is rallying the troops, so to speak.
Steve Hebert: Army guy is going to cum all over her face.
Lex Robinson: ...What?
Steve Hebert: I don't have a clue. Let's just say that Nikita is a fingerless bitch.
Lex Robinson: She had her fingers sewn back on, so that's nonsense.
Steve Hebert: Oh, fuck off, will you? Don't be so pedantic.
Lex Robinson: Finished surfboarding Mike Phantasy, Stryker soon transfers a double fish-hook onto Mike, even making him face Nikita, while Stryker jabs his knee into his upper-back.
Steve Hebert: Hah! Stryker Graff is such a bastard. I love it.
Lex Robinson: Then, when Stryker is finished fish-hooking Phantasy, he clubs Mike across the jaw, lifts him up to his feet and then dragonscrew legwhips his left leg out from under him! Goddamn, he's not letting up with working on his legs. He is now motioning over, applying another leglock, too!
Steve Hebert: Mike Phantasy, that moron, refuses to quit. How arrogant and illogical of him.
Lex Robinson: He's a fighter.
Eventually, Stryker releases the hold and allows Mike to crawl to the ropes, nearing Nikita, playing mind games with the duo. When Mike finally reaches the ropes, he receives some words of advice from the World Champ, only to have Stryker Graff come up behind him, kick him in the back and choke him with the rope.
Steve Hebert: It's the things such as that, which makes Stryker so great.
Lex Robinson: Stryker stands Mike up, slaps him across the face and then jaw-jacks with Nikita, who is still on the floor. Driving some headbutts into Mike's skull, Stryker kicks him in the left knee and then goes to whip him across the ring; but bares witness to mike dropping to the ground.
Steve Hebert: Haha, that asshole can't even stand. Smiling, Stryker kicks Mike in the head, picks him up and goes to whip him in, again. This time, it's completed and Mike Phantasy is thrown against the turnbuckles!
Lex Robinson: Here comes Stryker Graff, looking to hit a clothesline into the corner... but Mike leaps out to the side and Stryker smashes into the corner!
Steve Hebert: Oh shit!
Lex Robinson: Stryker stumbles back and Mike throws a Phantasize-kick at him!
Steve Hebert: He hit the referee!
Lex Robinson: Hell no, Stryker pulled the referee in front of him!
Steve Hebert: That's not how I seen it!
Lex Robinson: ...Yeah, of course.
Steve Hebert: Don't insult my intelligence!
With no referee in the ring, Stryker Graff stumbles around, only to walk directly into Mike Phantasy's second Phantasize off the night!
Lex Robinson: The Phantasize! Mike drops down and makes the cover...!
Steve Hebert: But there's no goddamn referee! He fell down, for no apparent reason, remember?
Lex Robinson: Oh, shut up!
The fans count along with Nikita and Mike...
Lex Robinson: One... two... three... four... five... six... seven... this match should be over!
Steve Hebert: But it's not because of our drunken referee! Good thing that referee had a lot to drink tonight. Phew.
Realizing that the referee is out, Mike rolls off Stryker Graff, stands to his feet and hops over to the referee, still favoring his left leg. As he tries to revive the ref, Stryker is able to slowly rise, seeing his position. Rising up, he stalks in behind Mike, who is preoccupied with the referee, ready to hit his own finisher, Darkness Falls!
Lex Robinson: Turn around, Mike!
Steve Hebert: Hell no. That douche is too busy trying to wake up old "Nappy".
Lex Robinson: He needs to watch out. Stryker Graff is creeping up on him, wanting to hit his move.
Steve Hebert: Wait, where is Nikita going?!
Lex Robinson: As Stryker prowls behind Mike Phantasy, Nikita traverses around thering, slides inside and does the same thing that Stryker Graff is doing to Mike Phantasy -- stalking him.
Steve Hebert: Oh God! Stryler, now you have to turn around!
Lex Robinson: Mike turns around, first, though...
Steve Hebert: He walks right into Stryker Graff, who goes to hit the Darkfalls Falls!
Lex Robinson: Mike pushes him back, though! Stryker turns around... and Nikita charges at him, holding the World Title in her hands...!
Steve Hebert: Stryker ducks... and she accidentally strikes Mike Phantasy!
Lex Robinson: Oh no!
Steve Hebert: Oh yes!
Lex Robinson: Mike drops to the ground, holding his face, while Stryker Graff turns around, grabs Nikita and drops her with a Darkness Falls! He tosses the title out of the ring, shakes the referee and then applies a modified leglock to Mike's left leg!
Steve Hebert: Tap! Tap! Tap!
Lex Robinson: The referee awakes, sees that Mike Phantasy is unconscious and calls for the bell. This is awful.
Steve Hebert: Thank fucking God. The real man has won.
Dropping Mike's leg, Stryker stands victorious in the center of the ring, having his hand raised by the referee. Pulling his arm away, he looks to Nikita, who is still laid out on the canvas, thanks to Stryker Graff's Darkness Falls.
Lex Robinson: Now what's he doing?
Stryker tip-toes over to Nikita, who has a tiny bit of drool oozing out of her mouth. He sits her up, grabs her right arm and then removes something from his pocket.
Lex Robinson: Is that a...?
Steve Hebert: It is! It's a diamond ring!
Lex Robinson: The hell?
Placing the ring on Nikita's finger, making sure it fits snugly on, Stryker bends over and then roughly locks lips with her, "marrying her".
Steve Hebert: Stryker may now kiss the bride! There we go! They are now husband and wive!
Lex Robinson: You have got to be kidding me.
Steve Hebert: I'm not! It's all going down before out very eyes!
Lex Robinson: Godawful.
After pucking Nikita, Stryker slides out of the ring, and walks to the back. The camera then zooms in on the gigantic ring that has been placed on Nikita's mangled fingers.
Winner: Stryker Graff
Chris Extreme: Son of a Hitler. I should have just flew in like everyone else.
Peaking above his map, he sees a scruffy man at the side of the road, fishing into a lake. Wisely, Chris decides to stop and ask for help with the directions.
Chris Extreme: Hey... hey... hey, you! Ugly!
Getting the random passer-bys attention, Chris flags the man down, beckoning him to come over.
Newfoundlander: Hey there, son. What can I do for you? I see you're havin' a bit of hard time, me son. It's a fine weather we're havin', dontcha think?
Chris Extreme: What the fuck did you just say?
Newfoundlander: I says it's be fine weather we havin'. What brings ye' to this part of the world?
Chris Extreme: No, really. What the fuck did you just say?
The Newfounderlander chuckles, while Chris becomes increasingly intolerant of the man's poor verbal.
Newfounderlander: Ah, me son, I says you need to wax out your eyes. I likes your feisty attitude, but ya got to calm down a bit, you knows?
Chris Extreme: Listen, asshole, just tell me how to get to St. John's.
Newfoundlander: Ah, an easterner, eh? You gots to listen closely, boy.
Set off, Chris Extreme almost has smoke boiling out of his ears.
Chris Extreme: "Boy"? That's a term the whites gave the blacks! I'm no darkie, you stupid motherfucking Flame! I'll... I'll...
Unable to take anymore, Chris reaches out, grabs the Newfoundlander by his shirt and tugs on him, beating his face off the side of his truck. He does this over and over again, until the Newfoundlander can no longer stand on his own two feet, having blood drip down his face, as well.
Chris Extreme: Whoops.
Aware of the damage he has done, he releases his grip on the Newfie, allowing him to fall to the ground. He then drives off, dragging the lifeless form of Ali Khadafi behind him, almost appearing as if Khadafi has lost an arm.
With these words, Arran slaps the backstage curtain out of his way. He pauses under the video feed screen, smirks, and uses his fingers to imitate pistols. He closes his eyes and lowers his head. He fires once...
bang...!
...and more flames erupt around him.
He fires again...
bang...!
Steve Hebert: Holy shit, I think he shot Lex's cock off.
Lex Robinson: Can't shoot something that isn't there.
Steve Hebert: ...what?
Lex Robinson: I have an enormous cock.
Steve Hebert: Oh.
"Death March" by Black Label Society strikes the speakers, thus bringing out Xander Gates, who is dressed in a black priest's robe. Standing atop the entrance, he basks in the hatred of the fans, who continue to jeer him as he makes his way towards the ringside area. Once he rolls in, he walks into a corner to keep picking on the fans, waiting for his match to commence.
Lex Robinson: Well, there's our Purity Champion, but he's not looking much of one.
Steve Hebert: No, he really isn't. And you know why?
"Simple Design" by Breaking Benjamin goes off and Dan Black comes out from the back and then runs into the ring. He climbs each turnbuckle, pointing to the audience and he goes to the center of the ring and stomps his right foot, which ignites pyro all around the ringside area.
Steve Hebert: Because that man right there has his title!
Lex Robinson: I expected something a little wittier...or at least more offensive....or....just a tad on the funny side?
Steve Hebert: Yeah, me too. What do you expect, though? It's like 12:56 a.m.
Lex Robinson: ....I'm not sure what time zone you think you're in, but it most certainly is not.
Steve Hebert: True. I am high on pork rinds.
Lex Robinson: That's the Steve I know!
Just as Steve has said, sure enough, there stands Dan Black with the Purity Title in hand. However, no sooner do a few seconds pass, does Arran Hayden lunge at Dan Black from behind, blindsiding him with a forearm to the back of the head. Instantly, Black drops the Purity Title, which is thereafter whisked away by a ring attendant.
Lex Robinson: Well, it looks like that title is up for anyone to grab now.
Steve Hebert: Anyone, eh?
Lex Robinson: Anyone in this match, I meant. Quit being so fussy.
Steve Hebert: It's the pork rinds, I tell you!
Lex Robinson: I believe it.
Having hooked a waistlock around Dan Black, Arran Hayden lifts him through the air and into a German suplex. Bridging, Hayden goes for a very, very premature pin, but Xander Gates quickly puts a stop to this, stomping directly into Hayden's stomach.
Steve Hebert: Ouchie! I'm surprised Hayden didn't just lose his second dinner.
Lex Robinson: Second dinner? You old hobbit.
Steve Hebert: SHIIIIRE. BAAAGINS.
After dragging Hayden to his feet, Gates has launched him right over the top rope, sending him outside with seemingly great ease. For a second, it seems as if Xander has gained early contorl of the match -- that is, until Dan Black suddenly rises up off the mat, drilling his shoulder directly into Xander's midsection. The wind knocked out of him, Xander can do nothing as Dan Black takes hold of his throat, soon lifting and dropping him with a thunderous chokeslam.
Lex Robinson: Man! What a chokeslam. There definitely wasn't any love in that one.
Steve Hebert: Then again, when is there...in a chokeslam, that is?
Lex Robinson: I'm sure I could give you a loving chokeslam, if I tried.
Steve Hebert: You want to try after the show?
Lex Robinson: Not at all.
Steve Hebert: Me neither.
Lex Robinson: But if you did, there wouldn't be anything wrong with that.
Steve Hebert: Of course not.
Back in the ring, Dan Black has maintained complete control of Xander Gates, even going so far as to back him into a corner and just pummel away on him with several harsh knees to the midsection. However, as Black steps away, he is surprised by Arran Hayden, who has, in stealth mode, snuck back into the ring -- and surprised by another forearm shot, no less! Immediately thereafter, Hayden tries for a fisherman's DDT.
Steve Hebert: Looks lik-no wait! Dan Black manages to avoid being lifted into the air and slips behind Arran.
Lex Robinson: Now it seems as if he has some sort of sleeper, slash, choke hold locked in.
Steve Hebert: And of course, Hayden reaches right for the ropes....
Lex Robinson: And grabs them!
Steve Hebert: Lotta good that'll do. There aren't any rope breaks in this one.
Lex Robinson: ....that's right! You're absolutely correct. Did I forget? I think I did! Holy jesus. My god. I am so awful. I KNEW I shouldn't have snatched a couple of your nasty pork rinds.
Steve Hebert: Very true. Keep your nubby hands to yourself. I need to maintain at least ten layers of blubber, you know.
Lex Robinson: Anyway!
Dan Black keeps the choke hold applied, as Arran Hayden commences turning blue. In the meantime, though, Xander Gates sneaks up behind the two, soon rolling Dan Black up, thus causing him to release his hold on Hayden, who in turn falls to the mat, gasping for air.
Steve Hebert: There's a one! A two! Annnd....
Lex Robinson: And nothing! Dan Black kicks out....and he looks pissed.
Steve Hebert: Rising straight up, Dan Black even beats Xander Gates to his feet, kicking his rival right in the face.
Lex Robinson: That keeps Xander down.
Steve Hebert: You'll bet it does.
Lex Robinson: But for his trouble, Dan Black gets rolled up AGAIN...this time by Arran Hayden, who can't even seem to catch his breath but who still manages to attempt a pin.
Steve Hebert: And just like before, Dan Black kicks right out...AND is up before his opponent a second time, this time moving so fast, he actually plops right down on Arran Hayden and pins his legs down.
Lex Robinson: Forgot to mention that he also takes the liberty of grabbing Hayden's tights. Come on, ref!
...1...2......3!
Lex Robinson: Well, shoot.
With Arran Hayden eliminated, Dan Black turns his full attention toward Xander Gates, who is recovering in a nearby corner. However, at the sight of Hayden's elimination, Xander stands up, meeting Black in the center of the ring. The two commence a staredown, before locking up.
Lex Robinson: Looks like Dan Black is coming out the better half in this encounter!
Steve Hebert: Are you blind? Xander is surely going to get the advantage.
At first, it seems as if Lex Robinson might be right -- that is, until Xander stomps down on Dan Black's foot. Following up with a nasty DDT, Xander quickly pulls Dan Black to his feet, sending him into the ropes.
Steve Hebert: But Dan Black reverses, sending Xander into the ropes, instead!
Lex Robinson: And here comes Xander on the rebound....
Steve Hebert: Black swings a clothesline...
Lex Robinson: And misses! Xander glides across the ring, bouncing off the ropes a second time. This time, however, Dan Black sends a boot straight back, catching Xander in the pelvic region before he can even attempt another evasion.
Steve Hebert: And now Dan Black is pulling Xander into a standing head scissors.....looks like he could be going for a Hospitalizer!
Lex Robinson: I believe you are right.....BUT NO! Xander manages to slip out, just as Dan Black gets him up on his shoulders!
Steve Hebert: Back on his own two feet, Xander slips right into position and......YES! He hits an X Marks the Spot!!
Lex Robinson: And the pin!
Steve Hebert: ONE!!! TWO!!!!
Lex Robinson: THREEE!! And that is that.
"Death March" by Black Label Society flares up, declaring Xander Gates the winner...and still Purity Champion. At last, he is presented the belt, which he straps right across his shoulder.
Lex Robinson: Uh oh. Dan Black is getting back up. I don't think he's going to let Xander celebrate at all....
Xander's music cuts, and for a few tense moments, he and Dan Black just glare at one another. However, the two soon shake hands, ending the tension with a sign of respect.
Steve Hebert: How homosexual.
Lex Robinson: How PC of you.
Steve Hebert: And there definitely isn't anything wrong with that.
Lex Robinson: Not at all.
Winner: Xander Gates
Finally arriving, just in the nick of time, Chris Extreme's white truck pulls into the parking lot. Pushing open the driver's side door, Chris Extreme steps out, looking wired and ready to go. Before he can go anywhere, though, he goes to the rear end of the truck, wishing to untie Ali Khadafi.
Chris Extreme: We're here, you stupid nig--...
Trailing off, Chris is stunned when he sees nothing at the end of the ropes. Well, nothing, except for a bloody boot with a foot in it and Ali khadafi's torn-off genitalia. Perplexed, Chris surveys the scene, holds his hands up, not knowing what to do.
Chris Extreme: Where the hell has he gone?!
Shrugging his shoulders, Chris decides to bend over, grab Khadafi's bloody boot, with a foot in it, and Khadafi's giant cock. Swinging it like a lightsabre, Chris storms off, ready for his match.
Chris Extreme: Oh man, I am going to rape Flame with Khadafi's cock.
Chris heads into the arena, holding the floppy penis in his hand. Oh, and the boot, too, but who cares about that?
The following words are stated over the arena's P.A. system in Chris Extreme's voice:
Dear world,
I hate you...
I hate sluts and faggots...
I hate preps, geeks, hippies, wiggers, punks, emos, goths, and trendy cultures...
I hate niggers, spics, chinks, sand niggers, tee-pee niggers, eskimos, and any poisoned race that isn't pure white...
I hate Jews, Muhammad, Buddah, Jesus, and all world religions...
I do, on the other hand, like vanilla milkshakes.
Love,
Chris Extreme
p.s. I'm the world's greatest asshole.
Rammstein's heavy German music of "Sonne" blasts over the speakers. Chris Extreme marches out exposing the swastika on his bare chest, while geared up in his white boxers and white socks. Staggering to the ring in a drunken haze, Chris is chugging down a beer bottle. From behind, he is caught off-guard and immediately attacked by Flame.
Lex Robinson: Flame out of nowhere!
Steve Hebert: He just popped out of the ground like a lit candle.
Looking pissed off as ever, Flame takes the beer bottle out of Extreme's hand and smashes it over his head! Broken pieces of glass are scattered everywhere, as Flame clotheslines a dazed Chris over the guardrail and into the crowd.
Lex Robinson: Flame is going to murder "Lord Nazi!" He has taken enough verbal punishment from Chris Extreme.
Steve Hebert: Yeah, and after he does, Chris Extreme will fuck Hecate in the after-life.
Lex Robinson: You are a sick man to even promote his behavior.
Blood flowing down his face already, Chris is pinned to the floor as fans begin to back away. Striking his face with fists of fury, Flame begins to strangle him with both of his hands. His face a mix of red and purple, Extreme reaches out his weak hand, trying to scoop up some oxygen.
Lex Robinson: I have a feeling this is going to be nothing more than a street fight to the death.
Sending a foot to Flame's balls, Chris begins to crawl away through the crowd, as some of the more brave fans begin to stomp on him.
Steve Hebert: Hey, they can't do that! Security!
Grabbing a hold of an old woman, Chris lifts himself up to his feet. Puncing out a few of the fans that stomped on him, he takes the old woman's cane and bashes it across Flame's face, breaking it in half over his nose. As the old women protests, Chris kicks her in the gut, causing her to hunch over on her knees.
Lex Robinson: Oh, my God. Corey Page won't be happy with that lawsuit.
Steve Hebert: That's why he did it! Chris Extreme hates Corey Page!
Punching each other back and forth through the crowd, Chris has to fight off overwhelming numbers, as the fans are siding with Flame. Grabbing the popcorn and soda guy, Chris tosses him into Flame, and popcorn and soda spills are over Flame's black attire. Flame proceeds to chase after his opponent, as Chris tosses signs, chairs, babies, and whatever he can get his hands on at Flame.
Catching up to Chris, Flame goes for a knockout punch, but Chris picks up a little girl to block it. Security pours into the crowd, trying to back away the fans, as Chris and Flame go at each other's necks. Sending a boot into his stomach, Chris shoves Flame's head into his crotch, and piledrives him on the concrete floor!
Steve Hebert: Ouch motherfucking jesus!
Dragging Flame by his hair, Chris brings him up the stairs and to the upper deck. Flame's back bounces off every stair, moaning every step of the way. Flipping over on his stomach, Flame holds his floor burned back, groaning in pain. Pulling out a noose from the back of his white boxers, Chris takes it and whips him in the back like a black slave. With every slash of the whip, Flame cries out in agony, as if he were watching Hecate die in front of him.
Lex Robinson: That monster.
Pulling out Ali Khadafi's big, black cock from the front of his boxers, Chris mounts Flame and rubs it in his face, smearing his face-paint with it. Flame spits out in disgust. Plucking Flame to his feet, Chris uses his left hand to place the big, black cock on his crotch. With his right hand, Chris grabs Flame by the head and executes a mini Cock Factor with Ali's cock!
Steve Hebert: The Nigger Factor! The---
Lex Robinson: Steven, please. Nobody appreciates racism.
Steve Hebert: Sir, yes, sir.
Tying the noose around Flame's neck, Chris hangs him from the rafters. The bell, thankfully, rings to end the match, with many lawsuits to ensue. Swaying back and forth, Flame's dangled body is pushed by "Lord Nazi" like a swing.
Lex Robinson: Thank God that's over with. Now someone get Flame down from there.
Steve Hebert: Hell no. Nobody wants to touch Flame now. He's been near Ali Khadafi's cock.
Pleased with the result, Chris Extreme walks to the back, allowing several fans to push Flame's body back-and-forth, like a ball on a rope.
Winner: Chris Extreme
Ace Rodgers: Where the heck is he? This is his homecoming, for Christ's sake!
Again, Ace goes to knock. But before his knuckles can connect with the wooden door, the door pries open and Corey Page stands before him, holding a mucus-stained tissue in his hands. When he speaks, the sound of his voice is obviously filtered due to excess mucus and sickness.
Ace Rodgers: Uh, hello, Corey. The last time we saw you, you were sick with the stomach flu... and well... holy hell, you look miserable. Do you still have the Norwalk Virus?
Corey Page: Does it look like I do?
Ace Rodgers: Well...
Corey Page: No! I don't! I have the cold, bronchitis, or pneumonia or something. God, I think I'm dying here, Ace.
Ace Rodgers: Wow, that's not good.
Corey Page: Tell me abou-- ahhhhh-choooooo!
Corey sneezes on Ace, sending spit and snot all over him.
Corey Page: Sorry.
Corey uses his mucus-stained tissue to wipe the spit and snot off Ace Rodgers's face.
Ace Rodgers: It's fine, it's fine.
He gently pushes Corey's hand away and returns firing some questions at the owner.
Ace Rodgers: Corey, tonight, you return to your hometown. Newfoundland is where you grew up and where you were born, what are your thoughts on this?
Corey Page: Oh, I think it's great. Now go find me some decongestant.
Ace Rodgers: ...Uh... all right... who do you think will win tonight's battle royal? And do you think that the winner will be able to become the new World Champion by defeating Nikita?
Blowing his nose into the tissue, Corey is quick to respond.
Corey Page: Just as long as it isn't that douchebag Chris Extreme, and I'll be happy. Now go away and let me be sick and die in peace.
With that, Corey Page slams the door in Ace Rodgers's face.
Ace Rodgers: Who does everybody do that?!
In the midst of a hissy-fit, Ace storms off.
Booger: I smell fajitas.
Johnnyboy: Huh? What?
Before Johnnyboy can do or say anything else, he is engulfed by Booger, who lodges him in his mouth and swallows him down.
Booger: Mmmm... oh God yes.
Farting, Booger sniffs the air, holds his nose and walks away.
Lex Robinson: We're seconds away from starting the battle royal!
Steve Hebert: About damn time, too. Let's find out who'll win this shit and then get to beat the shit out of Nikita for the World Title.
Lex Robinson: That's a tad presumptuous, don't you think?
Steve Hebert: No way. Not at all.
Lex Robinson: Well, it should also be noted that the winner of this battle royal will also follow in the footsteps of Gwenivere Jordan, Casanova and Destiny Daniels, in being crowned the Sin Trophy winner. Basically, it's the "MVP" award of that year. This year, we're having it a little early, too.
Steve Hebert: Don't you mean the "Chris Extreme Memorial Trophy"?
Lex Robinson: Considering Chris Extreme is actually alive and well -- and in this match, then no.
Steve Hebert: Oh, fuck off.
Out next is Arran Hayden, who looks quite cocky and arrogant, even managing to argue with several fans on his way to the ringside area. Following him is Mike Phantasy, who partially jogs to the ringside area, wanting to face off against his ally, Nikita, whom he has a scattered past with.
Lex Robinson: There's Arran Hayden and Mike Phantasy. I wonder if Hayden will come over andswipe my headphones, again.
Steve Hebert: Nope, he just rolls into the ring.
Lex Robinson: Thank God.
Steve Hebert: In the meantime, Mike Phantasy swaggers into the ring like a total douchebag.
Lex Robinson: That's weird. Not too long ago, you were all about Mike Phantasy.
Steve Hebert: Things change, Lex.
Lex Robinson: Ah, I suppose so.
Steve Hebert: Lex, get your camera ready, herecomes The Wifeys. Meanwhile, I'm going to whip out my cock and jerk off to dirty thoughts of them.
Lex Robinson: Uh... yes, here's Team Wifey -- Adora and Morgana, the Television and the Lust Champion!
True to Steve and Lex's words, Adora and Morgana step out from behind the curtain with each other, holding hands, as they skip to the ringside area. They both roll inside, where they take a look at their opponents.
Steve Hebert: God, I just want to bend them over and...
Lex Robinson: ...Anyhow.
Steve Hebert: Don't interrupt me, asshole.
Following the Wifeys, in an almost drunken stupor, is Tony Millennia, who just barely advanced to this battle royal. He passes some fans, who share a mixture of jeers and cheersfor him, disregarding what they have to say, as he rolls into the ring, eyeing Adora and Morgana, waving at them and blowing kisses in their direction.
Steve Hebert: As usual, Tony Millennia has fallen off the wagon. Considering the only time Tony Millennia "shows-up" anymore is Halloween, I can safely say he won't be winning anything here tonight.
Lex Robinson: A bold prediction from Steve Hebert.
Steve Hebert: Well... he's throwing up on the side of the ring! What more do you expect? It smells like vomit and alcohol in here, all thanks to Tony Millennia!
Lex Robinson: He's a two-time World Champ. You better be careful what you say.
Steve Hebert: Or what? He'll throw up on me?
Lex Robinson: You never know...
Steve Hebert: Don't worry, I'll throw you in front of me.
Lex Robinson: How noble of you.
Next, Chris Extreme steps out, the final person to do.
Lex Robinson: Here comes Chris Extreme, who just recently hung Flame from the rafters.
The camera switches view, showing Flame dangling from the rafters, having a few fans push his body back-and-forth, laughing as he sways to and fro.
Steve Hebert: That Flame sure looks like he is having a good time.
Lex Robison: ...Yeah...
Steve Hebert: Don't you think so, too, Lex?
Lex Robinson: Eh... Chris is coming to the ring, waving Ali Khadafi's cock in his hand. Boy, I never thought I'd say such a phrase.
Steve Hebert: He's waving that giant schlong all over the place. Rightfully so. It seems like all the big white ladies in attendance are enjoying it. Speaking of Ali Khadafi, the ring seems kind of empty... isn't he supposed to be in this match?
Lex Robinson: Hes kind of busy being scraped off the highways of Atlantic Canada, at the moment.
Steve Hebert: Sounds about right.
The last person to arrive, Chris Extreme storms up onto the ring apron and enters inside, offering a very strong gaze at Morgana, who rolls her eyes at him. Still with the gigantic black cock in his hand, he points it menacingly at the Wifeys.
Steve Hebert: Whoa, Chris is threatening Team Wifey with Ali Khadafi's cock!
Lex Robinson: He'll probably try to rape them with it.
Steve Hebert: God, don't make me jerk off, again.
Lex Robinson: Yuck.
Ding... ding... ding!
The bell rings, and with 9 people in the ring, the action begins. Right off the bat, Mike Phantasy traverses across the ring, focusing his attention on Stryker Graff, striking him with a stiff punch the skull.
Lex Robinson: Here we go! Arms and limbs are flying! Mike Phantasy goes right after Stryker Graff, while Tony stands beside them, wondering what the heck is going on.
Steve Hebert: Not only that, but Chris Extreme has grabbed Shawn Samson... and is walloping him over the head with Ali Khadafi's penis! This is the greatest thing I have ever witnessed!
Lex Robinson: Having Shawn Samson down-and-out, almost bludgeoned with the black cock, Chris Extreme looks at the object in his hand. He shrugs his shoulders and tosses the penis over his right shoulder, sending it flying all the way to the floor.
Steve Hebert: Hey, wait, does that count as an elimination?! That's one of Ali Khadafi's limbs!
Lex Robinson: Uh... I guess so! Right off the bat, we have an elimination! Goodbye, Ali Khadafi!
Ali Khadafi's penis collapses to the floor, where it bounces off the ground and flies into the audience, attacking an old lady. Security is finally able to grab his cock and escort it to the back, while the action continues in the ring.
Eliminated: Ali Khadafi
Steve Hebert: That was nuts... or lacking nuts... or something. I have no idea what to say!
Lex Robinson: That doesn't happen too often.
Steve Hebert: Seriously.
Lex Robinson: I suppose this means we're officially down to 9 people, now.
Steve Hebert: Yup. Although, with the way Stryker Graff is being dangled over the top rope, I wouldn't be so sure. Mike Phantasy almost has him out.
Lex Robinson: Oddly enough, Tony Millennia sneaks up behind Mike Phantasy and kicks him between the legs, forcing him to collapse onto the canvas, holding his ground. Nikita's gonna have to rub that better.
Steve Hebert: Hell no. She's a married woman, now! Her and Stryker will make a perfect union, On top of that, she'll be too busy losing the World Title a little later in the night.
Both Wifeys, Adora and Morgana, turn their attention to the large, angry Russian, Konstantin Bryzgaov, whom they have sheltered in the corner, battering him with kicks, chops and punches. However, when he realizes Morgana is throwing another fist at him, Konstantin springs to life, grabs onto her wrist and flings her over the top rope.
Steve Hebert: Konstantin Bryzgalov has eliminated Morgana!
Lex Robinson: Hell no, he never. She landed on the ring apron and is rolling back in.
Steve Hebert: That bitch!
Lex Robinson: Of course, Adora, Morgana's friend, takes offense to that and starts to unload a barrage of martial arts kicks onto Konstantin, who managed to barely slip into this match. After a leaping spin kick, she is able to bring Konstantin down to one knee, but that won't do any good in heaving him over the top rope.
Steve Hebert: Hey, that sounds good to me.
Lex Robinson: Typical.
Unfortunately for Adora, her attempts at kicking Konstantin Bryzgalov are put to an end, as Shawn Samson is able to kick Chris Extreme away and then focus on the person her lostto earlier. Unable to see Samson walking up behind her, Adora is taken aback when Shawn Samson applies a half-nelson onto her and then flings her back with a release suplex.
Lex Robinson: Adora has just been flung across the ring, forcing her to land on her head and neck!
Steve Hebert: That's one bitch with a broken neck, that's for sure.
Lex Robinson: I wouldn't doubt that.
Just as Morgana re-enters the ring, she is accosted by Tony Millennia, who is fresh off lowblowing Mike Phantasy. He starts stomping on her skull, bashing her face into the canvas; even stands on her long, pink hair, while hunching over, grabbing onto her wrists and yanking upwards, hoping to apply as much strain and pressure, as physically possible.
Lex Robinson: Screams of pain are being emitted from Morgana...
Steve Hebert: It's probably sounds of pleasure. We all know how she is.
Lex Robinson: And what does that mean?
Steve Hebert: Do you want me to get sued? If I said what's really on my mind, I'd have my pants sued off... which would be kind of hot.
Lex Robinson: Oh, please.
Steve Hebert: It's true. Just ask Chris Extreme, whose life was ruined by Morgana.
Lex Robinson: It looks like he is doing just fine, as he stands to his feet, walks up behind Tony Millennia and digs his fingernails into his back.
Steve Hebert: He only recued her because he wants to tittyfuck her.
Lex Robinson: Oh, I'm sure.
Steve Hebert: Look at Stryker Graff hammer away at Mike Phantasy's head with elbows and punches.
Lex Robinson: Nice diversion.
Steve Hebert: Thanks, but I'm serious. He's even bashing Mike's face off one of the ring turnbuckle pads. After turning Mike around, he unloads with a series of kicks and stomps onto him, forcing him to sit on his rear-end, in the corner.
Lex Robinson: Of course, Stryker turns around... and ducks beneath a running clothesline from Chris Extreme, who turns his attention away from Tony Millennia! This allows Chris to charge into the corner and deliver an extremely harsh running knee into Mike Phantasy's face!
Steve Hebert: Maybe that'll wake Mike up and make him stop fucking that decrepit whore of a World Champion, Nikita.
Lex Robinson: I highly doubt it, Steve.
Steve Hebert: Well, fuck that shit.
Adora remains down on her knees, feeling repercussions from beating Shawn Samson earlier. Samson, wanting redemption, kicks and stomps on Adora's back and neck, wishing to keep her grounded. Hoisting her up, Shawn Samson quickly brings her back down with a body slam.
Lex Robinson: Not enjoying seeing her Wifey beaten down by a chauvinistic pig, Morgana shrugs off the damage she had just received, leaps to her feet and comes to Adora's rescue by leaping onto Shawn Samson's back and wrapping her arms around his throat.
Steve Hebert: He's violently swinging her around, hoping to fling her off. Hell, maybe he can heave her into the front row, effectively eliminating her.
Lex Robinson: Shawn Samson is finally able to throw Morgana off him. Granted, he doesn't eliminate her, but he is able to knock her onto her back. He doesn't like having her butt into his business apparently, as he cocks his fist, mere seconds away from grabbing Morgy's hair and bashing her in the temple.
Steve Hebert: Do it! Do it, Samson! Knock the bitch out!
Lex Robinson: Here he goes...
His elbow tilts back...
Lex Robinson: Wait...!
Before he canswing forward, though, Adora jumps to her feet and leaps forward with a jolt of speed. She leaps into the air and connects with a high-impact dropkick to Shawn Samson's back, knocking him forward. Incidentally, it also forces him to fall over the top rope and land on the apron.
Lex Robinson: Adora sends Shawn Samson flying out onto the apron!
Steve Hebert: He's on the apron! He's still safe...!
Lex Robinson: Adora aides Morgy in standing to her feet. Snickering, they turn their attention to a groggy Shawn Samson, who is trying to comprehend what just happened. You cannot turn your attention away from anyone in these type of situations and matches.
Steve Hebert: Uh oh...
Lex Robinson: Adora and Morgana dropkick Shawn Samson, knocking him off the side of the apron!
Steve Hebert: Ah, fuck.
Lex Robinson: Again, Shawn Samson falls to some ovaries. This has to be awful for him.
Steve Hebert: If I were him, I'd hang myself.
Eliminated: Shawn Samson
Old rivals, Tony Millennia and Stryker Graff eventually eye each other. It was just over a year ago that these two embarked in a brutal match thatsaw barbed-wire boards come into use. This time, as they bump into each other in the center of the ring, their old feelings return, asboth desperately want the chance to take on Nikita, whom they both also have a storied history with.
Lex Robinson: Adora and Morgana lean back in the corner, where they watch Tony Millennia and Stryker Graff slug it out. He may be a tad drunk, but Tony Millennia is giving Stryker a fine share of punches and knees. After gauging Stryker's right eye, Tony backs Stryker against the ropes and whips him into the ropes.
Steve Hebert: This is always dangerous. Stryker better watch out.
Lex Robinson: Ducking down, Tony tries to eliminate Stryker Graff with a backdrop, but fails miserably once Stryker returns and offers him a boot to the face. Snapping his head back, Tony stumbles right into a snap suplex from Stryker Graff, who is then attacked from behind by a ravaged Konstantin Bryzgalov.
Steve Hebert: The Russian is pissed!
Lex Robinson: He was barely able to make it here tonight, too. It was just earlier that he got the open spot via defeating Johnnyboy.
Steve Hebert: As always, "mother Russia" defeat Mexico.
Lex Robinson: "As always"?
Steve Hebert: You heard me.
Lex Robinson: I... I... see.
Steve Hebert: Damn right.
Lex Robinson: From behind, Konstantin Bryzgalov lifts Stryker Graff up and unloads on him with a series of headbutts to the back of his skull, certainly dazing him. Seconds later, he flings Stryker Graff across the ring with a backdrop-driver!
Steve Hebert: Poor Stryker, but oh well.
Lex Robinson: Remember when you would say "Poor Mike Phantasy"?
Steve Hebert: Sadly, I do.
Lex Robinson: He is currently being stomped to death by Chris Extreme, in the corner.
Steve Hebert: Serves Mike Phantasy right.
Lex Robinson: How retarded. Nevertheless, Chris hoists Mike up and attempts to heave him over the top rope, but that fails for him. Instead, he Irish-whips him towards Konstantin Bryzgalov, who catches him and then sidewalks slams him to the mat! Bryzgalov is turning into a monster in there!
Steve Hebert: He's always been a monster, Lex.
Lex Robinson: Maybe so. Now with Mike Phantasy out of his hair...
Steve Hebert: Chris is bald, retard.
Lex Robinson: I mean it figuratively.
Steve Hebert: Whatever. We've got more important things to worry about; such as Chris Extreme finally gazing across the ring at Adora and Morgana, who are innocently backed away from all of the action, observing things, like two diseased-ridden rats.
Lex Robinson: Surely, you can be kinder.
Steve Hebert: Like fuck.
Lex Robinson: Morgana is about to walk across the carnage in the middle of the ring, when Arran Hayden literally springs out of the corner, delivering an excruciatingly painful speak to her!
Steve Hebert: Good lord. She was about to go and makeout with Chris Extreme, too.
Lex Robinson: Good God, no!
Steve Hebert: She was. But now she's stuck beneath Arran Hayden, who is striking her with several punches.
Lex Robinson: Adora doesn't like this, either. Jumping in to save Morgana yet again, she strikes Arran Hayden with a crescent kick, connecting stiffly to the back of his noggin.
Steve Hebert: "Noggin"? Who the hell says "noggin"?
Lex Robinson: Ehh... Adora grabs Arran Hayden's ears and throws a discus punch at him, knocking him backwards, sending him stumbling into a big boot from Konstantin Bryzgalov! Wishing to take advantage of this fact, Adora rushes into the ropes and springboards off the middle one. As she goes to spring back, Chris Extreme storms up behind her and clubs her with two axehandle shots to the back! Adora tumbles over the top rope!
Steve Hebert: Is she gone?! Is she gone?!
Lex Robinson: No! She skins-the-cat, allowing herself to hang from the top rope! Using the strength in her arms, she pulls her legs up, wrenches them around Chris Extreme's head and tries to eliminate him, instead!
Steve Hebert: Oh fuck! This isn't good! Chris, give her a stomp! There! He does it!
Stomping Adora's skull is enough for Chris to free himself from Adora's legs, forcing her to remain on the side of the apron. He's about to follow up on stomping on her, when she receives support from an awkward source -- Stryker Graff.
Lex Robinson: Stryker Graff crawls behind Chris Extreme, who is kicking and stomping on Adora, trying to drop her to the floor, and then lowblows him with his right arm! What an uppercut!
Steve Hebert: Speaking of uppercuts, Stryker turns Extreme around and then delivers an actual uppercut to the jaw! These two shouldn't be fighting! They should work together to eliminate the whores!
Lex Robinson: "The whores"?
Steve Hebert: Yes. I'm talking about Adora, Morgana and Mike Phantasy!
Lex Robinson: Oh okay.
Despite Stryker Graff's and Chris Extreme's brawling, action occurs at the other side of the ring, as well.
Lex Robinson: In the meantime, Konstantin Bryzgalov has lifted Tony up to his feet. He pulls him in and starts to unleash a serious flow of knees to Tony's face, which would make the hardest striker in the world proud.
Steve Hebert: Konstantin's my boy, Lex. Of course he's making me proud.
Lex Robinson: Stop it, please.
Steve Hebert: Hey, I'm just glad that Tony Millennia, that failure, is getting what he deserves. He always drops the ball, Lex. I mean, come on. In fact, Konstantin has Tony's throat throttled right now! Holding him up into the air, Konstantin walks towards the ropes and chokeslams Tony to the floor! Tony Millennia, the former World Champ, has been eliminated! Another blown opportunity for that asshole!
Lex Robinson: I can't believe it... he's gone! Konstantin Bryzgalov has eliminated two-time World Champion and Hall of Famer, Tony Millennia.
Eliminated: Tony Millennia
Steve Hebert: Hey, whoa, wait...
Lex Robinson: Back inside the ring, Morgana and Arran Hayden start to ferociously go after one another. She strikes him with a forearm... he replies with a chop to her chest... and then she gives him another forearm... and he returns with a punch to the skull. However, she bounces right off the canvas, only to give hima punch, as well.
Steve Hebert: They're going at it! She ducks beneath a clothesline attempt from Arran, opting to hit an enziguiri, in retaliation!
Dropping directly on his face, Arran Hayden lies prone on the mat, allowing for Morgana to bounce off the ropes and return with a standing corkscrew shooting star press, enabling her to contort her body around in several different rotations!
Lex Robinson: Having an ofensive explosion, Morgana kips-up to her feet and quickly legdrops Arran Hayden, following that up by rising back up, grabbing onto Arran's head amd delivering a vicious front kick to his face. After completely lifting him to his feet, she sends him against the ropes with a flurry of knife-edged chops. Headed to the furthest part of the ringside area, she bounces off the ropes and races towards Arran Hayden, who sees her coming. Dropping down, he hopes to backdrop her up-and-over...
Steve Hebert: Do it, Arran, do it!
Lex Robinson: But she heeds the warning and stops just short of him. Confused, Arran stands, looks to his left and sees Morgana springboard off the middle rope, latching onto his head with a huracanrana! In a rush, she snaps back, giving Arran Hayden an extra push over the top rope and onto the floor!
Steve Hebert: ...Shit. This match just got 50% less sexy. At least Stryker Graff remains.
Falling to the floor, Arran Hayden slowly rises, not happy with the outcome of tonight's events. He slaps the canvas and returns to the backstage area.
Eliminated: Arran Hayden
Lex Robinson: Konstantin Bryzgalov, who had been standing back, watching the flurry of offense with Morgana and Arran Hayden, now steps into the picture, measuring himself up against the petite, pink-haired vixen. He hopes to use his size-advantage in his favor, but she strikes first, hitting him with a kick to the kneecap, knocking him off-balance!
Steve Hebert: Yes, but she tries the same huracanrana move and it isn't going to work on Bryzgalov, who is too large. She leaps onto his shoulders and forces him to step forwards the ropes, but he stops her in his tracks, leaving her hanging upside-down on the outer portion of the ring apron.
Lex Robinson: Luckily for our Lust Champion, she is able to hold onto Konstantin Bryzgalov's head, thus keeping her in the match.
Steve Hebert: Wait... Mike Phantasy bursts into the scene and slaps Konstantin across his back, making him drop Morgana onto the side of the apron. Konstantin turns around, only to be met with a punch to the face from Mike Phantasy. Oh Christ, come on, you big, dumb Russian. Get rid of that bastard!
As Steve speaks, Konstantin grabs Mike with two hands, placing them around his throat and attempts to throw him over the top rope. However, Mike can only be placed in a seated position on the top rope, as he sends a knee to Konstantin's midsection. As he sits on the ring rope, he rakes Konstantin's eyes, sending him reeling. What he doesn't realize, though, is that Morgana is to his right, still on the apron.
Lex Robinson: Mike Phantasy has successfully backed Konstantin Bryzgalov away, but how about Morgy?
Steve Hebert: Fuck her.
Lex Robinson: As I speak, Morgana realizes that Mike is still seated on the top rope, therefore making the wheels in her head turn. She grabs onto his head and yanks back, thus pulling Mike off the top rope and sending him onto the floor! Morgana has just eliminated Mike Phantasy!
Eliminated: Mike Phantasy
Having yet another person eliminated, Morgana decides to re-enter the ring by using the top rope to springboard back into the ring. Flying off the top rope, she somersaults through the air and connects with a dropkick to Konstantin Bryzgalov, which sends him stumbling forward, knocking him up against Stryker Graff, who was in the midst of stomping Chris Extreme in the testicles.
Steve Hebert: How dare he interrupt Stryker Graff's stomping of that Nazi's groin!
Lex Robinson: He kind of inadvertently got shoved into him, Steve.
Steve Hebert: But still!
Lex Robinson: Turning around, Stryker Graff shows disdain for Konstantin Bryzgalov. He pokes him in the face with astiff punch that catches the Russian off-guard, sending him stumbling back, allowing for Stryker Graff to connect with a stiff superkick that actually knocks Konstantin on his back!
Steve Hebert: As Stryker's back is turned, though, Chris Extreme decides to offer him alowblow of his own. They are literally taking turns to lowblow each other, which, of course, is much better than taking turns to blow each other.
Lex Robinson:You're ridiculous.
This lowblow allows for Konstantin to recover, pull Stryker in and then drive him to the mat with a belly-to-belly suplex, sambo style. He then straddles Stryker's chest and unloads with a stiff barrage of punches and forearms, each one bashing Stryker's skull into the canvas.
Lex Robinson: Konstantin is taking it to Stryker Graff!
Steve Hebert: Stryker's poor sexy face! What's he going to do?! That's Nikita's husband! Poor Ni-- oh, what am I saying? Fuck that butch.
Lex Robinson: Don't you mean "bitch"?
Steve Hebert: Hell no.
Lex Robinson: As Stryker re-arranges Stryker's face, The Wifeys gather in the corner, watching the others. They even gaze upon Chris Extreme, who finally looks back, instantly popping an erection.
Steve Hebert: That's one hell of a cock. There better be some Cock Factors tonight, or I'm not going to be happy.
Bypassing Konstantin and Stryker, who are still mixing it up in the center of the ring, with Konstantin pounding on Stryker Graff, Chris slowly walks over to The Wifeys, who do not back down.
Steve Hebert: Oh boy. Here we go.
Just as Chris steps towards them, The Wifeys attack like a pack of savage wolves. They immediately hound Chris with a series of kicks, stomps, chops and slaps, which knock Chris back, forcing him to try and reevaluate the situation.
Lex Robinson: Chris Extreme stumbles back, fleeing to safety from the Wifeys. He rolls out of the ring, finding safety on the floor, while Adora and Morgana gesture towards him and call him names.
Steve Hebert: What mean, vicious sluts!
Lex Robinson: Out here, Chris argues with an old lady and threatens to hit her. Yeah, that's great, Extreme.
Steve Hebert: Put that old bag out of her misery, Chris!
As The Wifeys have their back turned to their other opponents, they are unaware that Konstantin Bryzgalov has turned his attention away from Stryker Graff, and is now focused solely on them.
Lex Robinson: Morgy... Adora... turn around! This is not good!
Steve Hebert: From behind, Konstantin Bryzgalov stomps up behind them, grabs them both by the neck and slams their head together! Take that, you awful wenches!
Lex Robinson: Tossing Adora into the corner, Konstantin gains some revenge from the earlier kicks he received from her, by stomping her square in the jaw. Keeping her flattened against the turnbuckle pads, he knees her in the face and then backs off, wishing to catch her with a running knee.
Konstantin charges forward, hoping to smash Adora's face in, only to have her roll out of the ring, thus causing Konstantin to charge knee-first against the middle turnbuckle. Unfortunately for Adora, she isn't clear of danger, as when she rolls out, she bumps directly into Chris Extreme, who had been walking around the floor, jaw-jacking with several fans.
Lex Robinson: The ring almost moves as Konstantin crashes into the corner!
Steve Hebert: Konstantin may have crashed into the corner, but Adora just crashed into Chris Extreme, on the floor. This time, Morgana isn't there to help Adora to fend him off! Chris grabs Adora's hair and throws her face-first into the ring post, seconding that by then smashing her face off our desk! Break the bitch's face, Chrissypoo!
Overhearing the term "Chrissypoo", Chris threatens to smack Steve Hebert, prompting Steve to apologize.
Steve Hebert: Whoops! Sorry!
Lex Robinson: Chris almost swiped you. Do you still like the guy?
Steve Hebert: Of course I do! I love him and his cock!
Lex Robinson: As you mention Chris Extreme's phallus, Chris forces Adora onto her knees, grabs her head and then smashes his rock-hard penis against her face!
Steve Hebert: Awesome! Do it again!
Heeding Steve's cries of wanting more, Chris grabs Adora by the hair, again, and smashes his face off his penis, much to the dismay of the crowd. Keeping a handful of Adora's hair, Chris stands her up and then rolls her inside.
Steve Hebert: Aw, man, I wanted another cock-smash.
Lex Robinson: Chris rolls inside behind Adora, while the other Wifey, Morgana, flying tornado DDTs Stryker Graff from the top rope, dropping him on his head. She then turns towards Konstantin, who is healing in the corner, points at him and charges in. She leaps up, kicks off Konstantin's massive-chest and then flips back, landing on her feet. Angered and feeling as if Morgana has just mocked him, Konstantin storms out, wanting to knock her skull off her shoulders. Realizing this, Morgana ducks beneath his muscular arm, turns around and then dropkicks his right knee out from underneath him! Konstantin Bryzgalov falls on his face!
Steve Hebert: Way to provoke him even more.
Smashing the mat in angst, Konstantin stands to his feet, eyes Morgana and then charges at her.
Lex Robinson: Like an angst-ridden Russian bull, Konstantin charges at Morgy...
Steve Hebert: Ack! She ducks and pulls down the top rope!
Lex Robinson: This results in Konstantin Bryzgalov tripping over her and falling to the floor! We're down to the final four!
Eliminated: Konstantin Bryzgalov
The final four involves Stryker Graff, Chris Extreme, Adora and Morgana. Adora lays on the ground, having a torrid aching head, while Stryker Graff rolls into a corner, trying to catch a deep breath of oxygen. Morgana and Chris Extreme, meanwhile, are the only two that stand.
Lex Robinson: As Adora uses the ropes to help her stand, Chris Extreme stalks her from behind, hovering over her like a predatory shadow. After elbowing her in the neck, he goes to try and dump her over the top rope, only to have Morgana to come to Adora's aide, much like Adora did for Morgana earlier.
Steve Hebert: Awww, these two former lovers are going to get into it.
Lex Robinson: Chris goes to throw Adora over the top rope, but Morgana uses her clawlike nails to scrape into Chris's back, stealing a page from his book. Not holding back one bit, Morgana punches and forearms Chris in the skull, knocking him against the ropes. She whips him out... and he bounces back, only to run right into a flying forearm from Morgana!
Steve Hebert: Oh shiii...
Lex Robinson: Adora climbs back up, though. She isn't wasting a second's chance to inflict pain onto Chris!
Steve Hebert: ...You don't say.
Lex Robinson: Stomp, stomp, kick, kick, stomp. She kicks him one more time, striking him in the ribs, making sure that he remains on the canvas, wanting to keep him down, once and for all. But even after each kick, Chris fights back, trying as hard as he can to regain his footing.
Steve Hebert: He's a fighter; not a lover!
Lex Robinson: Missing a kick, thanks to Chris side-stepping it, Morgana allows her former lover to get to his feet. She goes to throw a punch to his temple, but he uses his right arm to block it. Using his left, he reaches forward and... grabs onto Morgana's pink hair! He cocks his fist... he's going to strike her!
Steve Hebert: Do it! Do it! Yes! I'm going to cum all over the place!
Before Chris can punch Morgana, Stryker Graff charges in from one of the corners and flying shoulderblocks Chris Extreme, knocking him to the side.
Steve Hebert: Aw, fuck! Goddamnit! Like Isaid earlier, Stryker Graff needs to help Chris eliminate the whores! We've already got Mike Phantasy out of there; now all that's left is the Wifeys!
Lex Robinson: Morgana may have been saved by Stryker Graff, of all people!
Sitting atop Chris Extreme, Stryker Graff makes a fist and starts smashing his hand off Chris's skull, wearing him down. He then commences striking Chris with some elbows, while both Wifeys take a timeout, watching as Chris and Stryker roll around, exchanging punches with each other.
Steve Hebert: Well, this could be the gayest thing I've ever seen.
Lex Robinson: Chris and Stryker roll around, taking different turns to get on top of each other and smack each other around.
Steve Hebert: All we need now is to have Chris flip Stryker Graff over and have anal sex with him. I mean, sure, Stryker is womanly and all that, but well...
Lex Robinson: ...What the hell are you rambling about?
Steve Hebert: Good question. I don't even know!
As Stryker Graff rolls onto Chris Extreme, Team Wifey gets together, whispers something and arch forward. As a unit, they grab onto Stryker's long locks, yank him off Chris Extreme and then charge towards the ropes with him.
Lex Robinson: The Wifeys have plucked Stryker Graff off Chris Extreme. They throw him towards the ropes... and he vaults over the top rope and onto the floor, much to his frustration! Oh man, he is slapping the ring apron and everything. He absolutely does not like this!
Steve Hebert: I don't blame him! That was ridiculously sneaky! How... how...
Lex Robinson: How delightful. In any event, we're down to just three people!
Eliminated: Stryker Graff
Obviously quite peturbed, Stryker Graff refuses to leave the ringside area, despite having several referees try and drag him to the back. He gets the last laugh, however; as he breaks free of the referees and rolls back into the ring.
Lex Robinson: Just go to the back, Stryker. Come on. Your time is over.
Steve Hebert: Hell no! He's away from those stinkin' refs and he has slid back into the ring! Adora and Morgana doesn't see this, as their focus is on Chris Extreme!
Lex Robinson: What the... get him out of here!
Once back inside the ring, Stryker Graff heads towards The Wifeys, clubs Morgana in the back of her neck, dropping her to the ground, grabs Adora by her hair and then flings her over the top rope, tossing her out of the ring, as well!
Lex Robinson: No!
Steve Hebert: Yes! It counts!
Lex Robinson: No way!
Steve Hebert: It does! Adora has been eliminated! We're down to the final two! Who would have thought it'd be Chris Extreme and Morgana! Holy Jesus!
Lex Robinson: Adora's elimination cannot be official, can it?
Steve Hebert: Oh, it is. She's being forced to the back by the referees, too, along with Stryker Graff!
Lex Robinson: How retarded. Stryker Graff should be shot.
Steve Hebert: They should have known better than to have turned their back on him.
Adora and Stryker Graff are forced to the back by the referees, in between the Television Champ, Adora, having a few harsh words for Stryker, who fires back with some choice words of his own.
Eliminated: Adora
On her knees, Morgana looks on, shocked that her best friend has just been eliminated, having their plans on walking out together nixed. She lays against the middle rope, watching as Adora is forced to retreat to the backstage area, blowing her a goodbye kiss before she can fully exit.
Steve Hebert: Oh boy, oh boy. What a final two we have here.
Lex Robinson: Who'd have thought?
Steve Hebert: Me in my masturbation fantasies, that's for sure.
Lex Robinson: Besides that.
Turning around, finally getting to her feet, Morgana is horrified at the sight standing before her.
Lex Robinson: Oh, good god.
With his right hand down his pants, jerking his cock off, Chris Extreme stands alone in the ring with Morgana, thinking lasvicious thoughts about her.
Lex Robinson: Disgusted, Morgana steps back, not wanting to touch Chris; who can blame her, really? Get this awfulness out of the ring. Holy God.
Steve Hebert: Let him enjoy himself for a moment. Sheesh.
In the ring, Chris begins to chase after Morgana, who tries to step out of the ring, wanting to escape from Chris Extreme's disturbing behaviour. However, before she can escape, Chris yanks on her hair and throws her back into the middle of the ring, knocking her on her rear-end.
Lex Robinson: Most likely a past experience from these two. It's a reflection of their normal life from a few years ago!
Steve Hebert: Every bitch needs a punch or a shove now and then. Get with the times, Lex.
Lex Robinson: Hovering over Morgana, Chris holds his erect penis, smiling brightly at the situation that sits in front of him. Just as he removes his hand from his boxers...
Steve Hebert: Correction. His cum-stained hand.
Lex Robinson: ...Yes. Just as he removes his hand, he reaches down and is about to cling onto Morgana... who offers him a quick boot to the testicles! Yes!
Steve Hebert: Oh, fuck no! What a dirty move! Booo! Booo! Morgana is just a cheater!
Lex Robinson: As a result, Chris cups his tender nether-regions, falls to his knees and finally collapses, trying to hold himself together. Morgana is sure to take quick advantage over this, as she climbs to the top rope, her back turned away from Chris Extreme.
Steve Hebert: How I wish that Chris Extreme would revive and then shove the bitch out.
Lex Robinson: She moonsaults off and hits "The Execution of All Things"!
Steve Hebert: Fuck that! That was a moonsault double-stomp! Son of a goddamn whore! They had a kid together! Think of the kid! Poor Julius!
Lex Robinson: The kid is dead.
Steve Hebert: Gah! It just keeps getting worse and worse!
Rising to her feet, Morgana awaits for Chris to stand. Once he does, he stumbles into a corner, holding his head and chest, gasping for oxygen. Sadly, he has no time to recover, as Morgana sprints across the ring, does several handsprings and connects with a back elbow to Chris's jaw!
Lex Robinson: She handsprings across the ring, nailing Chris in the jaw! The fans are going nuts!
Steve Hebert: Drop a bomb on 'em all.
Lex Robinson: Dazed, Chris stumbles forward, only to be caught by Morgana, who refuses to let him fall on his face.
Steve Hebert: Awww... how sweet. She's got the spirit of Valentine's Day!
Lex Robinson: But then, she gives him the Fata Morgana!
Steve Hebert: Oh Jesus. I knew I shouldn't have said that.
Lex Robinson: Yep, it came back to bite you in the ass... as usual.
Delivering some more stomps and kicks to the fallen Chris Extreme, Morgana hoists the former World Champ up and attempts to toss him over the top rope, but he grounds his weight, making it difficult for Morgana to even try and position him over the top rope.
Steve Hebert: Hey, Chris is fighting back. All hope isn't gone, yet.
Lex Robinson: We'll see.
Steve Hebert: Chris clings desperately on to that top rope, refusing to be thrown out. Despite this, that bitch, Morgana, continues to taunt and push on him. Get it through your skull, skank, he's going nowhere!
Lex Robinson: Fighting back, Chris elbows Morgana in the nose, allowing him to land back on his feet. Morgana stumbles back, holding her back, thus allowing Chris to come up behind her, tug on her hair and then bash her skull off the turnbuckle pads. With her back turned to Chris, he begins to kick at her back, wanting to break her spine.
Steve Hebert: Break her in two, that's what I say.
Continuing to unload damage onto Morgana's back, Chris hoists her up and then drops her down with a back-suplex. Turning her onto her stomach, he uses one of his knees to jab into her back, grabs onto her hair and pulls, adding even more pressure to her back, as he tugs harder and harder.
Lex Robinson: Soon finished with jamming his knee into Morgana's back, Chris placesboth hands on Morgana's hair, and then starts to bash her face off the canvas! Holy Jesus, he's a madman! A sicko! A bastard!
Steve Hebert: Don't you just love it?
Lex Robinson: Hell no! It's sick!
Steve Hebert: Hey, I love it.
Finished with bashing Morgana's head off the canvas, Chris plucks his former love interest off the mat and standing headscissors her. In this position, Chris begins to rub his crotch all over Morgana's head, wanting to add insult to injury.
Lex Robinson: Chris has Morgy's head in between his legs... and is rubbing his crotch all over his head. Fucking gross. This has to stop.
Steve Hebert: Now I'm all turned on. Just great.
Lex Robinson: Chris is going to piledriver her pretty head into the canvas. This is awful.
Steve Hebert: Hell no. He's pulling her up onto his shoulders, looking for a powerbomb!
Lex Robinson: Oh my, he is! He's... he is... uh...
Steve Hebert: Haha, he has her stalled up there. I think he's sniffing her crotch.
Lex Robinson: Oh dear. That's not right.
Steve Hebert: Fuck yeah. Happy Valentine's Day, everyone!
Lex Robinson: If he's going to powerbomb her down, then he should just do it.
Steve Hebert: He's going to--... oh fuck.
Up on Chris's shoulders, Morgana realizes her predicament and begins to fire off an unbelievable amount of punches to Chris's forehead and temple. These shots force Chris to stumble forward a bit, allowing Morgana to reach out for the ropes.
Lex Robinson: Morgana is firing away on Chris's head!
Steve Hebert: Goddamnit!
Lex Robinson: They're headed towards the ropes.
Steve Hebert: Good! This will allow Chris to dump the bitch on the floor!
Lex Robinson: Wait... Morgana with the huracanrana...! They both spill over the top rope!
Steve Hebert: And they both land on the floor! What the hell?
Lex Robinson: Uh... what just happened?
Steve Hebert: Isn't it obvious? They're both eliminated! We have no winner!
Lex Robinson: Uh... no, that's not how it works. There's gotta be a winner; but who?!
Much confusion is abound, as no one knows who the true winner is. Morgana has her hand raised by one ringside official, while Chris Extreme has his filthy hand raised by a secondary official. Even the referees begin to argue over who has won the match, prompting much discussion to be had.
Steve Hebert: Chris Extreme won!
Lex Robinson: Hell no, it's Morgana! That one referee says so.
Steve Hebert: That's not what that other douchebag says.
Lex Robinson: No way. It's obviously Morgana!
Steve Hebert: Are you freakin' blind?! It's Chris Extreme! Chris Extreme is the Sin Trophy winner and he will face Nikita shortly.
Lex Robinson: I really don't think so, Steve. I'm pretty sure it's Morgana.
Steve Hebert: Pffft... fuck that. She always has to do something to ruin Chris Extreme, so I wouldn't doubt it.
With all of the confusion in the ring, Corey Page is forced to come to ringside, carrying the Sin Trophy in his hands. Stepping inside, he enters the mix, where both Morgana and Chris Extreme are looking for the victory.
LeX Robinson: It's the boss!
Steve Hebert: Oh God, fuck him, too.
Lex Robinson: It'll be up to him to award the trophy, I guess.
Steve Hebert: He'll just hand it to Morgana, since he loathes Chris Extreme. This is awful.
Lex Robinson: You don't know that for sure. In any event, Corey Page is granted a microphone.
Standing in the middle of the ring, between Morgana and Chris Extreme, Corey holds the Sin Trophy in his right hand, and the microphone with his left. He begins to speak, making his cold quite evident to the fans.
Corey Page: Oh God why. Couldn't one of you actually have won? Jesus, I'm so sick.
Lex Robinson: ...
Steve Hebert: Stop whining, asshole!
Corey Page: But anyhow, I have to make the final decision. And that decision is...
Corey looks to Chris Extreme and motions the Sin Trophy to him.
Corey Page: And that is...
He steps away from his nemesis, Chris Extreme, and walks towards Morgana, gesturing towards her with the trophy.
Corey Page: You'll...
He steps into the center of the ring and places the trophy on the mat.
Corey Page: Both share it! You both win!
Lex Robinson: Whaaaaat?!
A ruckus soars throughout the audience.
Corey Page: That's right, you all heard me. You're BOTH the 2007 Sin Trophy winner. And you're BOTH getting a shot at Nikita and her World Title. So, bring her out and let's get things started!
Corey Page exits the ring, leaving the Sin Trophy standing between Morgana and Chris Extreme.
Winner(s): Chris Extreme and Morgana
Your soul has suffered such abuse
But I am not your savior
I am just as fucked as you
I can't even save myself!
Lex Robinson: Here's Nikita! It's main event time!
Steve Hebert: Finally! Good Christ.
Lex Robinson: Removing the World Title from around her waist, Nikita hands it over to the referee, who then hands it to an outside ring official. The Sin Trophy remains in the center of the ring, while her opponents, Morgana and Chris Extreme, stand in opposite corners.
Steve Hebert: This is intense.
Sick and tired of waiting, Chris hustles out of his corner, grabs the Sin Trophy, which was formerly in his own namesake, and jets in at Nikita, bashing the trophy off the back of her head, knocking her up against the turnbuckles.
Steve Hebert: Now that's how you get things started!
Lex Robinson: After bashing the trophy off Nikita's head, Chris tosses it to the floor, only to have Morgana spring up on him, from behind! With gusto, she hammers some forearms into the back of Chris's neck, wanting to torture and hurt him, as much as possible.
Steve Hebert: That's so terrible.
Lex Robinson: The co-Sin Trophy winner, Morgana, hammers the other winner, Chris Extreme, with some stiff kicks to his neck, dropping him down to Nikita's waist-level. Nikita even joins in on the attack, hitting Chris with some harsh knees to the face, while Morgana kicks him from behind!
Steve Hebert: He's getting his ass kicked by two women! How bad is this?!
Lex Robinson: These are two dangerously lethal women, Steve. Get a clue.
Becoming slightly tired of being beaten up by women, Chris pushes Nikita and Morgana back, but they keep coming.
Steve Hebert: There's just no way of escaping from these crazy bitches!
Lex Robinson: I dunno...
Chris fires a punch at Nikita's crotch, dropping her like a sack of bricks.
Steve Hebert: There we go!
Lex Robinson: And now he is biting Morgana's twat! Holy Jesus!
Steve Hebert: Haha, yes! Tear that shit open!
Lex Robinson: Struggling to eliminate Chris from gnawing on her, Morgana strikes him witha kneelift to his jaw, butting his head back, allowing her to take a few steps back and recouperate from his biting.
Steve Hebert: Perhaps we was just horny.
Lex Robinson: He won't be horny, anymore, as Morgana charges forward and baseball-slide dropkicks Chris in the face, knocking him over! Nikita is back up, too. She commences kicking and stomping on him, as well. Just like before, Morgana and Nikita are kicking and stomping on Chris Extreme!
Steve Hebert: Ugh! Get rid of these awful bitches, Chris. Holy Christ, this is not good.
Again, Chris fires back, striking each woman in the abdomen with punches and forearms. Suddenly, he reaches up and applies a Cunt Claw on both women.
Steve Hebert: The Cunt Claw! Yes! Yes! It's a double Cunt Claw!
Lex Robinson: Errr.. it's one of his special moves, which he claims he has been working on. This is... different.
Steve Hebert: Squeeze those cunt's cunts! Make them scream!
The women's cries are quite apparent, as they scream out in pain, as Chris Extreme's fingers tear into their private sections. Desperately, both women look for a way out, with them both coming to an equal solution.
Lex Robinson: As Chris is on his knees, grabbing onto each woman's vagina, Morgy and Nikita find a way out of it. They leap up and connect with a double-enziguiri!
Steve Hebert: Bah! Chris rolls out of the ring, holding the back of his head.
Lex Robinson: There's no doubt that his ears are ringing. On top of that, both ladies are conspiring against him.
Steve Hebert: Typical women. I hate bitches. This is what they always do.
Lex Robinson: Nikita motions for Morgana to bounce off the ropes and dive out onto Chris Extreme, which Morgy calmly obliges. She springs off the ropes... only to have Nikita come out of nowhere and clothesline Morgana!
Steve Hebert: Haha! Whores always turn against each other.
Lex Robinson: Well, it is a World Title match, so you should always keep your head up.
Steve Hebert: Think Nikita will keep her head up when she is fucking her new husband, Stryker Graff?
Lex Robinson: God, she is not. Don't be inane.
Steve Hebert: He put the ring on her finger and then smooched her! That's all I'm going by.
Lex Robinson: Against her will, that is.
Steve Hebert: Feh.
Straddling Morgana's chest, Nikita begins to smash her first into Morgana's skull, hoping to capitalize on the fact that Morgana has been wrestling much longer than her. She hoists Morgana up, chops her up against the ropes, where she then kicks her a few times. Grabbing onto Morgana's right wrist, Nikita whips her out.
Lex Robinson: Morgy bounces off the ropes... only to run right into a tilt-a-whirl... no, wait... Morgy tilt-a-whirl headscissors Nikita! She flips Nikita over!
Steve Hebert: Drama up in here!
Lex Robinson: Both women rise, with a stunned Nikita up to her feet first. She turns to Morgy, who just stands and watches as Nikita runs at her. Getting to her feet, Morgana steps away from an attack by Nikita and kick/sweeps her legs out from underneath her! This sweeping motion causes Nikitato plunge over the middle rope and volley into Chris Extreme! Going legs-first towards him, she latches onto his head and huracanranas him onto the floor! Holy Christ, what a series of maneuvers!
Steve Hebert: Well, my head just exploded.
Lex Robinson: No doubt. Morgana stands alone in the ring, watching as Chris and Nikita slowly rises on the floor, soon deciding to climb to the top turnbuckle.
Steve Hebert: Oh my God!!
As Chris and Nikita stumble around on the floor, Morgana leaps off, doing a 630 degree senton plancha off the top turnbuckle, which obviously takes down both of her competitors.
Steve Hebert: That's it. They're all dead. It's the only thing that'll make sense.
Lex Robinson: Morgana just flew... and I mean that literally. She flew!
Steve Hebert: No, she tumbled through the air... and did like 400 twists in a row! We're officially in the Matrix.
Lex Robinson: Where's Neo when you need him?
Steve Hebert: He still has a broken leg, doesn't he? Almosst 3 years with a broken leg. At this rate, he'll never heal.
Lex Robinson: Wrong "Neo".
Steve Hebert: Ohs.
Lex Robinson: Out here, on the floor, Morgana is the first to stand, and she gives both Chris and Nikita a kick. Eventually, she grabs Nikita's dark hair, lifts her up and then rolls her back inside. Stepping up onto the ring apron, she re-enters the ring by split-legged slingshotting herself inside, landing on Nikita with a legdrop, as she lands across Nikita's throat. She makes a half cover...
Steve Hebert: She's just lying across Nikita. It isn't going to do much.
The referee drops down, starting his count...
...1...2...
Lex Robinson: With ease, Nikita is able to kick out at the count of two.
Steve Hebert: See? Told you so.
Plucking Nikita off the mat, Morgana backs the World Champ against a set of turnbuckle pads and commences chopping her across the chest.
Steve Hebert: And Morgana just chopped Nikita's tits off.
Lex Robinson: If not, it was close enough.
Steve Hebert: Morgana Irish-whips Nikita across the ring, into the opposite corner and she follows in behind her...
Lex Robinson: Nikita runs uo the buckles, though. Before Morgana can crash into her, Nikita backflips off the second turnbuckle and lands behind Morgana. She then waistlocks Morgy and pushes forward, forcing her up against the turnbuckle pads...
Steve Hebert: Wait, here comes Chris Extreme...
Lex Robinson: You're right. "Lord Nazi", that easily hateable bastard, slithers up behind his two competitors and waistlocks Nikita, as well. He plucks the two women away from the buckles and double German suplexes them!
Steve Hebert: Morgana is thrown through the air by Nikita... but she backflips and lands on her feet, while Nikita lands on her head, thanks to Chris Extreme! Thinking he has both women down and out, Chris gets to his feet, holds his arm up and believes he has full control of this match. Jesus Christ, turn around, Chris, turn around! Morgana is on her feet!
When the time is perfect, Morgana speeds forward and springboards off Nikita's back, as she is on her hands and knees. Flying through the air, Morgana jumps onto Chris's shoulders, looking for a huracanrana, only to have it halted before she can flip him over. The last time these two were in this position, Chris wasted valuable time, almost causing his own demise. This time, however; things happen differently.
Lex Robinson: Chris catches Morgana... and then powerbombs her onto Nikita's back, pancaking Nikita underneath Morgana! Both girls have been flattened!
Steve Hebert: Phew. Sounds good to me. Time to fuck both of their bodies. Although, he should take it easy with Nikita, as Stryker Graff won't like having his wife have sex with another man.
Lex Robinson: Stop! Just stop!
Steve Hebert: Fiiiiine.
Having Morgana and Nikita criss-crossed over each other, Chris walks into the corner and climbs to the top turnbuckle pad. Up here, he jiggles and pinches his nipples, licks his lips and moonsaults off, landing on both of his opponents.
Steve Hebert: The Nazigasm!
Lex Robinson: Oh boy, what a rip-off.
Steve Hebert: What? Oh, come on. Stop whining.
Lex Robinson: I'm just sayin'.
Steve Hebert: Even with Lex here,bawling his eyes out, Chris covers both women...
Lex Robinson: Ugh...
The referee starts the count...
...1...2...
Lex Robinson: Nikita and Morgana both kick out! Thank God! If Chris Extreme won, I may have had to vomit.
Steve Hebert: Poser.
Seemingly frustrated at the referee's slow count, Chris slaps the mat in anguish and then starts choking the two women.
Steve Hebert: Choke 'em! Kill 'em! Choke 'em!
Lex Robinson: Calm down, Steve, for the love of God.
Steve Hebert: I just want to see these two awful sluts die!
Finished with choking both women, Chris grabs Nikita's head and then starts smashing her face off Morgana's crotch!
Steve Hebert: Okay, now this is kind of hot. Get some of that Morgy cunt, Nikita!
Lex Robinson: This is sickening! He's just smashing and rubbing Nikita's face into Morgy's private section, damaging both women.
Steve Hebert: If anything, I'd say both girl's vagina is pretty bruised and cunt-up right now.
Lex Robinson: Uhh... cut-up.
Steve Hebert: Same thing.
Lex Robinson: When is finished degrading both women, he kicks Nikita to the side, grabs onto Morgana's pink hair and then lifts her up. She is then sent shoulder-first into the nearby ring post, as Chris soon turns his attention back to Nikita, who is holding her head, trying to get back to her feet.
Steve Hebert: Before she can rise, though, Chris stomps on those injured fingers of hers! We all remember about them, don't we?
Lex Robinson: At this rate, she'll never get a chance to fully heal. My Jesus. He stomps over-and-over again, stands her up and then headbutts her nose. He squeezes her injured fingers, but then whips her across the ring, bouncing her off the nearest set of ropes. She bounces back, but leaps at Chris, twists her body around and then body-scissors him! She pushes herself off the canvas, throwing herself into the air, and on her way down, she armdrags Chris down to the ring!
Steve Hebert: Pffft... it's only an armdrag, it's nothing major.
Lex Robinson: Agreed. Chris springs right back up, as does Nikita, who shrugs off the damage unloaded onto her. She ducks beneath a running clothesline from Chris, prompting her to charge into the ropes, as well. Again, she returns, only to run into a fallaway slam attempt from Chris! Again, his plans are thwarted, as on her way down, she arm-scissors him and sends him over with a modified huracanrana! Right away, she locks on her move -- "The End"!
Steve Hebert: Oh fuck! Oh Jesus!
Lex Robinson: Having an intense lock on Chris Extreme's right arm, Nikita wrenches back, hoping to get a submission...
Steve Hebert: Hell no she doesn't. Chris has reached the bottom rope and is getting himself some liberty.
Lex Robinson: So close!
Steve Hebert: Naaahhhhhhhhh, he was safe all along.
Lex Robinson: I bet. Climbing up to her feet, Nikita dishes out some more punishment onto Chris Extreme by stomping on his chest and right arm, hoping to permanently damage him. Oddly enough, Chris is then saved by Morgana, who hovers behind Nikita and delivers a dropkick from behind! This results in Nikita bouncing off the ropes and stumbling back into a schoolboy rollup from Morgana...!
Steve Hebert: She'd probably fuck a schoolboy, too!
The referee makes the count...
...1...2...
Lex Robinson: Nikita kicks out, pushing Morgana off her legs! She's free!
Steve Hebert: These two women are now slugging at each other, striking one another with some stiff shots that snap each other's head back. Slowly, they stand, with Nikita ducking beneath a swinging punch, allowing her to knee Morgana in the gut and then half-nelsons her.
Lex Robinson: Not only that, but Nikita applies a pump-handle... which she then transfers into a half-nelson/pump-handle-powerbomb combination! Having Morgana laid out in front of her, Nikita yanks down on Morgy's legs, covering her...
Again, the referee makes the count...
...1...
Steve Hebert: Holy shit, one...
...2...
Steve Hebert: It's two...
...
Lex Robinson: Morgana kicks out! That was another close one!
Steve Hebert: Man, Nikita is pissed!
Lex Robinson: I don't blame him.
Upset at the lack of a pinfall, Nikita slowly, but surely, stands to her feet and walks around to Morgana's legs. Seconds later, she has Morgana's legs underneath her armpits and the Lust Champion turned onto her stomach. Reaching forward, she locks onto Morgana's hands and hoists her off the apron, almost snapping her in half with a Pendulum Stretch/Swing.
Lex Robinson: And now, Nikita has Morgana nearly folded backwards.
Steve Hebert: People are not supposed to bend that way. But than again, this is Morgana and we all know how she is.
Lex Robinson: No, we don't. Please tell us.
Steve Hebert: Eh, just call the match.
Lex Robinson: Now that's a good idea.
Morgana is left in the pendulum swing, having her hair dangling into her eyes, as Chris Extreme slowly rises, like an emperor scorn. Holding his right arm, he ironically focuses angrily on Morgana, who has nowhere to run, as he begins to kick and stomp at her head.
Steve Hebert: It's such a good idea, that I'll lament on the fact that Chris is currently kicking the pink out of Morgana. He even bounces off the ropes and drops a knee across the back of her neck, forcing Nikita to release her grasps on the Lust Champion.
Lex Robinson: Nikita doesn't like Chris interfering in her business, though, as she felt she almost had Morgana in a submission position. Offering him a kick to the stomach-region, Nikita hunches Chris over and then unloads a serious amount of rapid-fire kicks to Chris's face, dizzying him. As a result, Chris stumbles backward, only to have Nikita follow behind him and follow that up with a backcracker! With the oxygen depleted in his lungs, Chris falls to his side, trying to recover his thoughts, while Nikita steps out onto the side of the apron, slowly making her way to the top. However, before she can do anything, Morgana races to her feet, and without using her hands, she climbs to the top rope and super huracanranas Nikita,sending her flying through the air, even missing Chris Extreme!
Steve Hebert: Now that was some good play-by-play, Lex.
Lex Robinson: Why, thank you!
The trio, who are aiming to walk out with the World Title, lie motionless in the ring, with the fans calling for either Morgana and Nikita to move. Meanwhile, as Chris starts to show signs of life, they release a hearty jeer, which he responds by popping his middle-finger at them.
Steve Hebert: No, Chris, the fans aren't number one; you're number one! Number one in my heart, that is.
Lex Robinson: You're really in the mood for Valentine's Day.
Steve Hebert: Am I ever.
Lex Robinson: Rolling to the floor, Chris looks to slow things down, the match moving at too fast of a pace for him. Out here, he stumbles around, trying to find away to rest. He even steals a plastic cup from a fan and begins to drink the contents of it.
Steve Hebert: Nothing like a good glass of Root Beer to replenish your energy.
Lex Robinson: If it even is Root Beer.
Nikita pulls herself to her feet in one corner, while Morgana helps herself up in the opposite corner. At approximately the same time, they turn around and eye each other.
Lex Robinson: Morgana sees Nikita lying in the corner. She charges in...
Steve Hebert: Apparently, she tries for a running shoulderblock-to-the-gut, but Nikita pushes herself up-and-over Morgy, and then locks on a Tarantula submisson! Is that even legal?
Lex Robinson: She has until a count of 5. But even so, Chris Extreme isn't going to let it happen. He races around to the other side of the ring, and immediately stops the submission by hammering his fist into Nikita's skull, and then proceeds to drag her to the floor, where he whips her into the ring railing! He then runs at her and clotheslines both Nikita and himself over the railing and into the crowd!
Steve Hebert: Good lord. Those assholes better stay away from poor Chrissy.
Lex Robinson: I thought he didn't want you calling him that?
Steve Hebert: Whoops, my bad, yo.
Lex Robinson: I'm sure you'll be forgiven, considering you're in love with him.
Steve Hebert: Fuck you. I'm the Tim Hardaway of Sin Wrestling.
Lex Robinson: That makes loads of sense, actually.
Steve Hebert: Are you implying something?
Lex Robinson: No way, never.
In the crowd, Nikita and Chris share loads of punches and forearms, not noticing Morgana, who has recovered in the ring and is measuring her two opponents up.
Steve Hebert: What's going on, now?
Lex Robinson: Inside the ring, Morgana is preparing for something...
She bounces off the furthest set of ropes...
Lex Robinson: Here she goes! Like a rocket being launched into the sky, she springboards off the top rope and soars through the air, contorting her body just a bit, as she flies into the audience and takes down Chris and Nikita! Holy shit!
Steve Hebert: It wasn't just Chris and Nikita she knocked down, she knocked down about 10 other regular fans!
Lex Robinson: Hence the "Holy shit!" Holy shit!
Up to her feet first, Morgana lifts Nikita up and heaves the World Championover the ring railing, and soon joins her at the ringside area. Grabbing a handful of Nikita's hair, Morgana slams Nikita's face off the ring apron and then rolls her into the ring.
Lex Robinson: Morgy is climbing onto the ring apron, and is now headed to the top turnbuckle. She leaps off, looking to hit a Shooting Star Press...
Steve Hebert: Nikita rolls out of the way!
Lex Robinson: I know, as does Morgana, as she is able to land on her own two feet, stopping anything disastrous from occuring. Nikita stands, turns toward Morgana and they both charge at each other, with Nikita getting the upper-hand, driving Morgana down with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker! From here, she applies a Triangle-Choke, along with an arm-wrench submission, hoping to wear Morgy down, or force a submission!
Steve Hebert: She has that arm-wrench applied to help wear down Morgana for her finisher, "The End", too! I know her tricks.
Lex Robinson: Actually, you're probably right. It's a logical thing to do.
Rolling around, trying to pry herself free, Morgana rises, but only finds her oxygen cut off some more. It isn't until Morgana is able to position herself so that Nikita is on her back, with her covering Nikita, that she is ableto find an escape.
Lex Robinson: Hey, wait, Morgana is covering the World Champ! Nikita may not realiZe her shoulders are down!
The referee counts...
...1...2...
Lex Robinson: Isit three?! No! Nikita releases her grip on Morgana, saving herself! Another close fall!
Steve Hebert: This is goddamn insane!
Lex Robinson: Tell me about it.
Nikita gets back up and negates a Morgana resurgence by striking her with a knee to the temple, dropping her down to two knees. Gaining a sudden burst of energy, Nikita bounces off the nearest set of ropes and springs back, looking to hit a Shining Wizard, only to have Morgana duck beneath Nikita's running knee.
Lex Robinson: On her knees, Morgy ducks, leaps back to her feet and unleashes an amazing backflip kick to the back of Nikita's head!
Steve Hebert: Lex, we just re-entered The Matrox. Again.
Lex Robinson: For real. Goddamn, that was nice.
Exiting out onto the side of the apron, Morgana waits for Nikita to stand, hoping to nail the World champion with some sort of springboard move. However, just as she leaps up, a hand creeps up from beneath her, dragging her back down and slamming her down to the floor!
Lex Robinson: What the...?
Steve Hebert: Chris Extreme! Chris Extreme has returned to the ringside area, reaches up and drags Morgana down to the floor!
Lex Robinson: Only fools are enslaved by time and space, Steve! And this time, Chris Extreme wasn't a fool, as he literally appeared out of nowhere, as he popped back to the ringside section. On the floor, he bashes Morgy's head off the apron, throws her into the ring post and then double-underarm DDTs onto the cold, hard cement!
Steve Hebert: Ding, dong, the bitch is dead.
Lex Robinson: After dropping Morgana on her head, Chris Extreme pops back up and slithers inside, ala a snake.
Steve Hebert: Fuck you. Chris Extreme is a porcupine, not a snake.
Lex Robinson: Yeah, you're right. He knows a lot about being a prick.
Steve Hebert: Sadly, as Chris enters the ring, he is immediately met by Nikita, who dropkicks him, knocking him against his ropes, which she then follows up by striking a multitude of knees to the face! Goddamnit!
Lex Robinson: She even knocks Chris against the turnbuckles with those knees. Standing on the second turnbuckle, she begins striking him with more knees, hitting him so hard that he has nowhere to go, but down. Plop! He falls flat on his ass; surprise, surprise. Backing into the opposite corner, Nikita runs forward, squishing Chris in the corner with a high-speed dropkick into the corner pads! She then leaps right back up, propels herself into the air via pushing herself off the middle rope and saunters down, smashing both of her feet into Chris Extreme's chest!
Steve Hebert: Agh! That's going to leave a mark on his poor chest.
Lex Robinson: Give him a kiss, why don't you?
Steve Hebert: I will not be held victim to your homosexual fantasies, Lex.
Lex Robinson: For the last time, stop it. Quick to maintain an attack on Chris, Nikita grabs his right arm and wraps it around the middle rope, even stomping it like a woman possessed, hoping to dislocate it.
Steve Hebert: How is he supposed to jerk off, then?!
Lex Robinson: He'll have no choice but to use his other hand, then.
Steve Hebert: But it's so hard! Haven't you ever tried it?
Lex Robinson: ...
Steve Hebert: Speechless, eh?
Lex Robinson: No.
Steve Hebert: Well then, Nikita will be speechless after Chris reverses Nikita's armlock into a jawbreaker! I think she may have bitten her tongue off. First, she loses her fingers; now she probably lost her tongue. Way to go.
Lex Robinson: It's attached, but that still had to hurt.
Steve Hebert: Definitely.
Slowly moving his arm, as if to recover feeling in it, Chris hurries to regain his footing, as he lurches at Nikita, only to slap her in the cheek, causing her to scurry backwards like a wounded rat.
Lex Robinson: Chris applies a reverse facelock on Nikita and then drops down to one knee, giving her a reverse DDT, driving her upper-back into his knee. Sauntering around the ring, Chris starts to.. uh... he starts pleasuring himself, watching as Nikita writes in pain.
Steve Hebert: Just come out and say it -- he's jerking his cock off all over the place.
Lex Robinson: Well, yes.
Steve Hebert: And now he's lifting that cunty bitch, Nikita, up to her feet, grabs her tongue and bites into it! Holy Jesus! Best move, ever! Why haven't I ever thought of doing something such as that?
Lex Robinson: He's biting Nikita's tongue! What the hell?! This is retarded!
Steve Hebert: Rip it out, Chris! I know you can do it!
Having Nikita back into the corner, Chris Extreme is surprised when Nikita fires back with a knee-to-the-groin, forcing him to stop biting her. Instead, she offers him a palm strike to the tip of his nose, latches onto his head with a facelock and then steps onto the second turnbuckle, looking to hit a Tornado DDT.
Lex Robinson: Thankfully, Nikita strikes Chris where it hurts.
Steve Hebert: What a cheap move. No one should ever be allowed to hurt Chris's sweet cock!
Lex Robinson: Attempting to swing out, her plan is foiled, as Chris holds onto the top rope, preventing her from striking her version of the Tornado DDT! After punching her in the throat, he is able to safely recover and climb up alongside Nikita!
Steve Hebert: Oh yes! You know what time it is?! It's Cock Factor time! His cock is hard and he's going to poke Nikita's eye out! I can feel it! I can feel it from my cock-to-my-toes!
Lex Robinson: Hanging onto Nikita's hair with both hands, Chris attempts to leap off, but just like Chris, she hangs onto the top rope, as well. Another prevention; this time in Nikita's favor! She's firing back with some punches that stagger Chris, now. He's becoming shaky up there.
Steve Hebert: No! No! No! That bitch! That skank! That whore! That filthy cumlicking gutterslut! Someone needs to rip her fingers off and shove them up her hairy cunt!
Lex Robinson: Chris fires back with some punches of his own, throwing Nikita off her game, as well.
Steve Hebert: That whore blocks a punch from Chris... and locks in a modified form of "The End", while on the top rope! It's that same arm that she worked over earlier, too!
Lex Robinson: As you can see, Chris is yelling out, in pain, too! Remember, he's been out here A LOT longer than Nikita.
Steve Hebert: Yeah, but has Nikita ever been the Sin Trophy winner? No, she has not!
Lex Robinson: Chris is a co-winner, but I can see your point.
Even with Nikita hanging on, Chris leaps off the top rope, holding her hair in his talons. As they spiral through the air, Chris delivers a massive Cock Factor, as they slam into the canvas!
Steve Hebert: Cock Factor! Cock Factor! Oh my God, Cock Factor!
Lex Robinson: He hit it! This could be over! Just cover her!
Steve Hebert: He's too slow. Cover her! Go!
Lex Robinson: Slowly, Chris rises to his feet, angst, joy and redemption fueling him as he moves. He is about to drop down and make the cover, here he goes...
However, much like how Chris appeared out of nowhere to ruin her plans, Morgana suddenly revives from being dropped on her skull on the floor, slides into the ring and taps Chris on the shoulder, prompting him to whip around.
Lex Robinson: It's Morgana!
Swinging around, Chris walks directly into a kick to the gut. Out of nowhere, she cranks onto Chris's head, delivering a stunner, which has so much force, that it sends him flying into the corner.
Lex Robinson: The Reinventing Timothy Ashton! Holy shit! She just sent him flying with the Reinventing Timothy Ashton!
Steve Hebert: No! No! Fucking whore, no!
Lex Robinson: Yes, yes, yes! She turns her attention towards Nikita, who remains in a crumpled heap on the canvas. She ascends to the top rope... she flies off... she hits The Morgasm! It's over! It's over! The referee is making the count...!
Like Lex says, the referee drops down to make the cover.
...1...2...
Steve Hebert: Chris Extreme squirms over...
...3!
Lex Robinson: The three has been made! Chris Extreme cannot stop the count in time! The match is over! Morgana is the new World Champion! First, she wins the Lust Title, January's newcomer of the month, the Sin Trophy... and now... now, she wins the World Title from Nikita!
Steve Hebert: Fuck!
With the outcome, Steve Hebert throws down his headphones, in much disappointment; almost as upset as Chris Extreme, who appears heartbroken, bitter and destroyed. He lays in the ring, as Adora comes down to the ringside area, takes the World Title off the announcer's booth and slides into the ring with it. She hands the World Title over to a breathless Morgana, who can barely stand, listening as the fans cheer her on. She proudly holds the title in the air, as Adora supports her up, while Nikita rolls out of the ring, looking equally as devastated as Chris Extreme.
Lex Robinson: What a great night! Morgana is the new World Champion! On top of that, Chris Extreme and Morgana share the honors of being the 2007 OVer The Top Rope winners and the 2007 Sin Trophy winners. What a... what the hell?!
CRACK!
The celebration with Morgana and Adora is soon cut-off, as Chris Extreme delivers a chairshot to Morgana's back, knocking her to the ground.
Lex Robinson: Chris Extreme strikes Morgana, the new champ, with the chair!
CRACK!
Lex Robinson: $Adora turns around and receives the same honor! Chris Extreme is going nuts! Do you like this, Steve?
Upon mention of his name, you can briefly overhear Steve Hebert voice his pleasure over what he is watching in the ring.
CRACK! CRACK! CRACK! CRACK!
Lex Roboinson: Over and over, Chris smashes the chair over Morgana and Adora, trying to destroy the Wifeys! As you all know, this is the end of year three for Sin Wrestling, and we're going on a break for a few weeks. While we are gone, the World Title will be defended overseas, in Japan. However, with this occuring, I do not know what's going to happen!
CRACK!
Lex Robinson: Another chairshot to Morgana -- this time to her neck! He turns Morgy over and then stomps on her crotch! He drops the chair just to focus on stomping on Morgana's crotch! God, I got to get out of here, things are not looking good.
Fearing for his own life at ringside, Lex Robinson leaves his announcing position, leaving Chris Extreme to create carnage in the ring. Rolling out to the floor, he checks under the ring and pulls out a bucket full of items. He removes one of them, showing off a screwdriver. In between stomping Adora's face, Chris takes some turns to take the screwdriver and smash it against Morgana's vaginal area, hoping to tear her up inside.
Tossing the screwdriver to the outside, Chris returns to the bucket and removes a tin of gasoline, which he pours all around the outer portions of the ring; even splashing some into the audience area.
The pervading smell of gasoline is enough to cause several people to leave their seats and exit the arena. For the fans that stay behind, they bare witness to Chris Extreme lighting the ring and the arena on fire. The last scene on this Valentine's Day night is that of Chris Extreme standing in the burning building, amidst a ring of fire, standing over the fallen Wifeys, Adora and Morgana -- the new World Champion.
Winner: Morgana