As the opening intro for Over The Top Rope 4 comes to a close, the camera switches to a live shot in the casino. Declan Turner adjusts his tie as he walks through the casino, sipping a glass of champagne.
Declan Turner: Judgment Day has finally arrived and everyone is jet lagged. Who knew waiting for the apocalypse would be so tiring?
Declan walks past a woman at a slot machine and pulls the handle. As he walks away, the slot machine goes haywire, jackpotting coins in a deluge.
Declan Turner: Some people fear the future. Fear it so much they lay stagnant in wait. Ignoring the inevitable.
Picking a chip from his front breast pocket into his hand, he flips it nonchalantly at a nearby roulette table. It lands on Black 22, which just happens to be the number that is called.
Declan Turner: Until the moment comes where they have nowhere to go and they must face that dreaded moment where they either sink or swim.
Walking up to a craps table, he stands behind a beautiful young woman, holding the dice in the air, ready to throw. In this moment, Declan looks at the table an grins, blowing the dice from her hand as she throws. Finishing the champaign, the croupier calls out “Seven.”
Declan Turner: But, if you were like me, you’d meet the challenge head on. Nine other poor, lost souls, vying for a title that’s worth more than their own lives. I’d say, I have a pretty good chance of taking that trophy home.
He finally sits down at a blackjack table, placing a large bet and is immediately dealt a twenty. Opting to stay, the dealer flips the face down card, revealing the dealer’s twenty-one. Declan frowns.
Declan Turner: Of course. Stranger things have happened.
The camera cuts out.
Welcome to one of the newer casinos on the strips of Monte Carlo, the enormous multi-story "Diamond Mine", established in 2006. Once you enter its ruby-red luxuriously-carpeted lobby, you're floored by the spectacle that is the high life. Golden arches and columns are lit up by the light from the exquisite chandeliers, and only the mighty and mighty-rich seem to be able to mingle here.
Which is why Corey Page probably looks as cultured as a Southern hick when he enters the lobby with his luggage, his jaw hanging open.
Corey Page: You've...GOT to be kidding me. HE owns this place?! Fuuuuuck.
Betsy the Goat: Merrr.
Page's head snaps around to see Betsy the Goat grazing at the red felt...
Corey Page: Betsy, I told you to wait in the rental car! I can't stand to see you deported after all of the strings I pulled to get you here!
Betsy the Goat: [disappointedly] Merr...
Betsy wanders out the entrance and chews on a potted plant outside. Page walks over towards the check-in area, only to get sidetracked by...
Corey Page: Oh boy, so much boobs and money.
Corey walks over to the flashy lights and bling-blinged casino area, eyes lit up as he looks at all the implants and Euros flowing like water. He drops his bags, only to get a throat cleared behind him.
Man: Hell, it's about time you and your crew got here.
Corey Page turns to see a buffed thirty-something blonde guy with a babe around each arm and the look of a player, pimp, and high-roller all in one. Why, it's the memorable...!
Corey Page: Hey, why it's...wait. Who're you?
Yeah, we all sorta need reminding too. The man's white smile frowns quickly.
Man: Goddammit, can't you guys remember an old wrestler from the XWW and TWW?! I'm Deuce fucking Diamond, remember?! THE Deuce Diamond?! Richest wrestler to grace the ring with you noobs!
Corey Page: Ohhhhhh yeah. You invited us to wrestle here for your customers. Boy, do we have a big thanks to give you. Cost me a bundle to get here.
Deuce flashes his grin again, removing his sunglasses.
Deuce Diamond: And as it SHOULD cost a lot! Monte Carlo is a happening place, my man! Lovely ladies, Mediterranean weather, a short distance to France, Greece, and the Netherlands...most of all, the income tax here is ZILCH! Why, I was able to afford moving my ship here, denouncing that goddamn stagnant American dollar, and making a FORTUNE!
Page is unable to talk, still floored by the glamor and tits for miles around.
Deuce Diamond: You make yourself at home, Page! Mi house es su house! I expect Sin Wrestling to make me a ton of fucking money here, so you guys just do like you all used to do back when I was a star wrestler...just as long as you make sure Extreme doesn't have any lighters on him, you got me?
Page just guffaws some more, nodding his head like a doofus. Deuce smacks him on the back and sends him in the direction of the craps table.
Corey Page: Flashing lights... boobs... moneys! Gimme, gimme, gimme!
Deuce Diamond chuckles to himself, while a man in a black suit comes up to his side.
Drone: Boss, we got a...goat chewing at your Rolls Royce's license plate.
Deuce's laugh goes from sixty to zero in two seconds.
Deuce Diamond: Goddamnit.
Deuce hurries out of the way, while Corey Page removes a pile of money from his pocket. Money that will no doubt be quickly spent.
The scene opens to Casanova and Jean-Paul Lacklan staring at each other, face to mask. Neither's gaze wavers at all...until they are both jolted by a harsh sound.
Betsy: MERR!
The attention of the wrestlers is drawn with a quick motion to the goat sitting behind Corey Page's desk. With one hoof, Betsy yanks down a black cloth revealing...the WHEEL! Lacklan and Casanova glance quickly to one another, before another staredown is averted by another movement, and the clicking of the wheel set into motion by Betsy!
Casanova: The first match is...
Jean-Paul Lacklan: ...Tables.
Betsy: MERR!
Another quick spin of the wheel, and this time, it comes up Falls Count Anywhere!
Casanova: I think we should stop there. This won't go to a third match.
Jean-Paul Lacklan: Are you suggesting you will already have fallen?
Casanova: No, I'm suggesting that...
Betsy: MERR! Merr...
One final spin...and the clicking slows, the arrow flicking over Hell in a Cell...Ladder...Barbed Wire...before stopping.
Betsy: Merr merr!
Jean-Paul Lacklan: And a Bloodbath match is...?
Casanova: Something I put on the wheel personally, Jean-Paul. It's a Last Man Standing match, but the ten count can only start on one of us...if we're already bleeding.
The two turned to stare each other in the eyes yet again.
Casanova: You'd best finish this in two, because if it goes to three...
Jean-Paul Lacklan: You'll already be bleeding, Casanova. Your vaunted stipulations are of no consequence.
Casanova: Go ahead, say it...it's but the buzzing of flies, eh? The time for words is over, I'll see you in the ring.
The vampire turns and exits the room, as Jean-Paul Lacklan glares at him through his mask.
Morgana: 8.
Corey Page: Hit me.
Morgana: 16.
Corey Page: Hit me.
Morgana: 22.
Corey Page: Hit me, God damn it.
Morgana: ...No, Corey, no. You lost, man.
The scene opens up at a Blackjack table, where Morgana is trying to teach a bare-chested Corey Page how to play. She is surrounded by stacks of chips, what used to be Corey's shirt, several strings of anal beads, a set of car keys and a half-eaten Big Mac. Corey, who has his head in his hands and may or may not be quietly crying to himself, has absolutely nothing left.
Corey Page: You've ruined me! You took my moneys and my Big Mac! This means war. I'm going to win all my stuff back.
Morgana: Fuck that; you're the worst Blackjack player of all time. Now find something to bet or this game is over.
Corey Page: This is just a pretend game, though, right? You're just teaching me how to play, so I get all my stuff back at the end... right?
Morgana: My God, no; you came to my school of Blackjack, so you have to pay a tuition fee. This is for keeps, Indian giver. Now put up or let me swindle someone else!
A defeated Corey reaches into his asshole, pulling out the grimy, sticky deed to Sin Wrestling.
Corey Page: This is all I have left.
Morgana: NO. I DON'T WANT SW; I'D KILL MYSELF. Find something else!
Suddenly, Betsy the Goat -- Sin Wrestling's secretary -- announces her presence from underneath the table, where she has apparently been lurking.
Betsy: Merrrr.
Corey Page: That's it! I bet Betsy!
Morgana: Oh, for Christ's sake.
She starts overturning cards while taking a bite of her ill-gotten Big Mac.
Morgana: 12.
Corey Page: Hit me.
Morgana: 20.
b>Corey Page: Hit me.
Morgana: ...Just stay, for the love of God. I don't want your goat.
Corey Page: HIT ME.
With a sigh, Morgana overturns another card, putting Corey up to 26. From under the table, Betsy makes a goat noise of despair as Morgana, who quickly stands and collects her winnings, takes her by the leash.
Morgana: Come on, Betsy, let's go play some slots or something.
Corey Page: No, wait! That's my Betsy! First the Habs lose; now this!
Ignoring the now-destitute and goatless Corey, Morgana and her armful of random crap lead Betsy away as the scene fades.
Lex Robinson: Casanova's looking a bit out of it, you can tell he's taking this match quite seriously.
Steve Hebert: Of course he is. He's the kind of guy who probably carries chips on his shoulder from matches he's lost years ago. He's probably got a creepy journal at home full of gothic ramblings at people who've beaten him.
Lex Robinson: Your point?
Steve Hebert: Lacklan beat him before, and Cas takes these things real personally.
Beethoven's "The Moonlight Sonata" as performed by the indie-rock group, Inverse, plays, but there is no fanfare. No dimming of the houselights, no purple spotlight and no Minions. Lacklan walks down to the ring, alone, his cowl pulled over his masked face. As he enters the ring, he simply slumps against his corner, waiting for the match to begin. After the bell sounds, Lacklan does not immediately attack; he starts slowly, taking the cowl away from his face to show his opponent the mask and horridly burned head that awaits them.
Steve Hebert: Show your face! Show your face!
Lex Robinson: Do you think that's wise?
Steve Hebert: Of course. As long as Casanova's between him and me.
Lex Robinson: Even that might not be enough. The bad blood between these guys goes back years, long before either came to Sin Wrestling.
Steve Hebert: Such a time never existed. Corey Page said, "let there be efedding wrestling, and saw that it was good." I'm pretty sure that's when this sport started.
Lex Robinson: Corey Page pays my bills too, but it doesn't mean I'm going to publicly fellate him.
The bell rings, but nothing happens for ten seconds, as Jean-Paul Lacklan and Casanova step away from their respective turnbuckles, staring at each other. Lacklan stretches his arms, as Casanova cracks his knuckles. Suddenly, the two charge, crashing together with a grapple, which quickly goes in Lacklan's favor, as he backs Casanova into a corner, throwing him against the turnbuckle.
Lex Robinson: Casanova outmatched in the power department early on, he can't just go toe to toe and expect to win here.
Steve Hebert: No, probably not. Jean-Paul Lacklan's a big bastard, and it'll probably be a real big powerbomb or something like that which puts Cas through the table to end it.
Lex Robinson: Going through a table will only end this first fall, though. It's best two out of three, and the other two, Falls Count Anywhere and a Bloodbath match seem like they could be even more dangerous than just tables alone.
Casanova leans against the corner, looking for the referee to back Jean-Paul Lacklan off, but with the Tables stipulation, there's no real need for rope breaks. For his effort, Casanova is suddenly pounded with a couple of hard elbow strikes to the forehead and temple, before Lacklan spins a Roaring Elbow right into his jaw, sending the vampire staggering against the ropes, before tumbling off his feet, only supporting himself by holding onto the second rope.
Lex Robinson: Casanova making an uncharacteristic mistake there, looking for a ref break, and now he's paying for it, as Lacklan is laying the boots into him badly! He's stomped Cas right into the mat!
Steve Hebert: And bouncing up off the second rope...big stomp to Casanova's head! No, Lex, now he's stomped Casanova into the mat.
Jean-Paul Lacklan wastes no time in lifting Casanova to his feet, before quickly snapping him back with a vertical suplex. Casanova's still left clutching his head, before Lacklan yanks him up yet again, before bashing his mask right into Casanova's face. Casanova staggers back, visibly wobbling, but jams a quick thumb into Lacklan's eye, backing him off.
Steve Hebert: That's the good old Cas. Now throw in a choke and a kick to the pills and we'll be right back to 2004 Cas.
Lex Robinson: That'd be a good thing, Cas hasn't really dominated since about then.
The big masked man charges at the vampire, but Casanova ducks Lacklan's hard lariat and leaps onto his back, clamping on a sleeperhold!
Steve Hebert: A little more choke and a little less sleeper, as far as I can see.
Lex Robinson: But didn't you just say that was a good thing?
Steve Hebert: Oh yeah.
Casanova's hold doesn't last more than five seconds, before Lacklan charges mightily at the farthest turnbuckle and turns at the last second, crushing Casanova into the corner. Lacklan rears back, before charging across the ring and aiming a big Yakuza kick into Casanova's sternum! But Casanova moves, leaving Lacklan's leg temporarily hung up in the corner.
Lex Robinson: Now Cas gets low, and pops an uppercut right into Jean-Paul Lacklan's extended knee! Lacklan's getting some shots in on Cas's ribs, but the big man is still hung up, and now Cas gets in a hard shot by driving a knee into Lacklan's chest!
Steve Hebert: This is definitely my kind of match so far! These guys don't want to wrestle, they just want to HURT each other! Really really bad, too!
Lex Robinson: That's very clear, both men very strong all around threats, but focusing on brawling and striking shots so far.
Casanova finally yanks Lacklan's leg free of the ropes, only to lock onto it and fling the bigger man overhead with a cradle suplex! Jean-Paul hits hard in the middle of the ring, Casanova only pausing for the slightest moment before dropping a hard knee right across Lacklan's mask. Casanova quickly mounts Lacklan, before striking lefts and rights to his jaw.
Lex Robinson: Casanova quickly backs off, wrapping up Lacklan's legs, now he's got the bigger man clamped with a Texas Cloverleaf in the middle of the ring!
Steve Hebert: Like I said, there's a lot of bad blood here. Cas knows he can't win via submission - at least I hope he does - but he's just locking in a submission to hurt JPL.
Lex Robinson: Or maybe it's just part of a bigger plan, to nullify Lacklan's strength advantage by breaking him down piece by piece.
After a minute or so, Casanova finally lets up on the Cloverleaf, before sliding out of the ring, and rooting around underneath and pulling out a table!
Steve Hebert: Finally! We've gone far too long in this match without a table sighting!
Casanova slides the table into the ring, as Jean-Paul Lacklan slides his boots into him, blasting Casanova into the guardrail! Casanova staggers to his feet, only to be levelled by an enziguri to the side of his head by Lacklan!
Lex Robinson: This looks like revenge for Jean-Paul Lacklan! He just grabbed a chair from right next to our table! Cas gets to his knees...and gets splattered by a chair to the face!
Steve Hebert: We've got a bleeder! Jesus Christ, that was pretty!
Lex Robinson: Well, it's only getting uglier. Lacklan has unfolded the chair and left it standing beside the ring steps. He's dragging Casanova over...oh, shit. He's on the ring steps, and he's looking pissed!
Steve Hebert: He yanks Casanova up like a rag doll, Cas is upside down...HOLY SHIT!
The chair is flattened as Jean-Paul Lacklan drops to his knees onto it, driving Casanova headfirst onto it with what appears to be an intentionally sloppy piledriver.
Lex Robinson: My god, Casanova's completely out. If Jean-Paul Lacklan can get a table set up, Cas will be helpless!
Steve Hebert: It won't be that easy, though, JPL's dragging, it looks like that piledriver onto the chair took something out of his knees, as well!
Lex Robinson: That's true, he's definitely favoring them, but he's getting there finally, and now sure enough, he's getting under the ring, and a table is coming out! Lacklan's finally getting the table set up, and now he's heading back over to get Casanova!
Steve Hebert: Point for Lacklan! Better luck next time, Cas!
Lex Robinson: Don't be so premature, Cas is actually struggling some, he's throwing some punches at Lacklan!
Steve Hebert: Lacklan waited too long, sure, but he's also throwing punches back at Cas. We've seen how this ends before.
Jean-Paul Lacklan fights mightily to pick Casanova up for another piledriver or powerbomb, but Casanova fights him off, before getting free of Lacklan's grip and knocking the big man off balance with a drop toe hold! Lacklan catches himself just in time!
Steve Hebert: Now that'd be embarrassing. Losing a tables match because your opponent tripped you through the table.
Lex Robinson: This is true, but Casanova's got better in mind, I'm sure. A high kick out of nowhere meets Lacklan's jaw, and then Cas bangs Lacklan's head against the ring apron!
Steve Hebert: Cas is being a damn idiot in this match! Stop trying to hurt Lacklan's head, he's wearing a solid freakin' mask!
Sure enough, Lacklan seems entirely unfazed by the last maneuver, as he quickly grabs Casanova's head instead, and drags him to the corner post, where he raps Casanova's head solidly! With the vampire stunned, Lacklan shoves Casanova into the ring before sliding in himself.
Steve Hebert: A few more stomps, like there are really any functioning brain cells left in that head of Cas's.
Lex Robinson: I don't even know that vampires have brain cells. Regardless, Casanova's going to be in trouble, Lacklan lifts him to his feet by his hair, and drags him running over to the ropes! He tosses Casanova over, right at the table on the floor!
Steve Hebert: Nope! Cas grabs the ropes, manages to slide back in under the ropes. Another great potential table spot blown.
Casanova is battered down by a flurry of stomps from Jean-Paul Lacklan, before Lacklan begins setting up the table that Casanova had slid into the ring earlier. He stops halfway through, before deciding to simply lay it in the corner at a 45 degree angle.
Steve Hebert: I have a feeling that Cas needs to come to, and fast, or his chances of taking this fall are getting slimmer and slimmer.
Lex Robinson: Also keep in mind that this damage being done now won't only hamper these men here, they've got at least one, possibly two more falls to finish this match!
Jean-Paul Lacklan lifts Casanova to his feet by an arm, before whipping Casanova toward the turnbuckle table! Casanova reverses halfway, sending Jean-Paul Lacklan toward the table instead!
Lex Robinson: Jesus! Lacklan catches himself, just barely stopping his own momentum before he met the table! And now Cas drills him with a dropkick! Somehow Lacklan's still locked in place!
Steve Hebert: That dropkick should have at least moved him! But it didn't, and now Cas is charging at Lacklan!
Casanova runs at Jean-Paul Lacklan, apparently looking to shoulder check Lacklan into the table, but the big man twists with Casanova's momentum, and pushes Casanova toward the table instead! Somehow, Casanova torques himself wildly in the air before he crashes to the mat in the corner, missing the table by mere inches!
Lex Robinson: Jeez, how many near-misses are possibly in fifteen or so seconds?!
Steve Hebert: I think we're done with that bit for the moment, Lacklan just said, "Hey Cas, meet my friend Mr. Shining Wizard."
Lex Robinson: What did Cas say?
Steve Hebert: He wasn't impressed, I think his eyes rolled before he collapsed in that heap there.
After smashing Casanova with the Shining Wizard, Jean-Paul Lacklan yet again yanks Casanova to his feet via his hair, before quickly yanking Casanova up with a single hand atop his shoulder. Lacklan slowly steps toward the table, but the scoop slam is evaded as Casanova slides off and behind Lacklan, yet again attempting to shove Lacklan into the table, but Lacklan merely turns, furious, and bashes his mask into Casanova's already bleeding face.
Lex Robinson: Ouch. Casanova drops to his knees, as Lacklan runs to the ropes, and rebounds...
Steve Hebert: Whoa! And just barely ducks that running Yakuza kick that Lacklan aimed at his head!
Lex Robinson: Lacklan turns though, whipping around with another Roaring Elbow for Cas...but Cas ducks again! A chop to the throat, and Casanova finally seems to have stalled Lacklan's offense!
Steve Hebert: I'm telling you, Cas wins whenever he plays dirty. When he tries to be holier than thou, he's just another worthless douchebag.
Lex Robinson: He's a Hall of Famer, as well as a past Sin Trophy winner, Steve. He's not exactly just another douchebag.
Steve Hebert: I didn't say he wasn't a good wrestler. But he's probably a douchebag. I watch promos sometimes, you know.
Casanova keeps Lacklan on the defensive by alternating between stiff knees to his ribs and throat chops. Finally, he has Lacklan in the corner, where he pounds boot after boot into Lacklan's ribs and abdomen until the big man finally drops, before keeping him down with constant stomps to Lacklan's torso and face!
Lex Robinson: It seems like Casanova's finally on the offensive!
Steve Hebert: Yeah, he's taken a beating so far. But he's looking to dish one out now, he's lifting Lacklan to his feet, and then up, to seat him on the top turnbuckle!
Lex Robinson: Oh damn, Casanova's setting up for a superplex!
Sure enough, Casanova climbs up alongside Lacklan, and straightening him out, looking for the superplex. But Lacklan fights him off, firing fists into Casanova torso, before finally sending him crashing to the mat with a mask-aided headbutt into Casanova's face!
Lex Robinson: Man, Lacklan's white mask is splattered with red from headbutting Casanova's head and face so much!
Steve Hebert: Yup, Cas has got the crimson mask thing going on.
Lex Robinson: But this headbutt won't keep Cas down! He hits the mat, but gets right back up, climbing to the second rope and chopping Lacklan right in the throat yet again! Lacklan drops his jaw though, blocking the soft target, and throws an elbow into Cas's face! The two are trading blows atop the turnbuckle!
Steve Hebert: Lacklan's getting the advantage though, Cas keeps going lower and lower with each tradeoff, he's taking the worst of the blows!
Lex Robinson: He finally stands up to tower over Lacklan, seated atop the turnbuckle, only to have JPL crack a hard fist against his jaw that sets the vampire swaying!
Steve Hebert: Oh, this could be bad, Cas is about to crash and burn, and no one knows which direction he's going in!
Lex Robinson: He's blocked Lacklan's punch though, and held onto the arm for balance. He leaps and twists OVER Lacklan, landing on the big man's shoulders, before letting gravity take over, they're going down! Reverse hurracanrana off the top to the outside...THROUGH THE TABLE!
Steve Hebert: HOLY SHIT!
The bell rings, as the announcer tells the crowd that the first fall is awarded to Casanova! The bell rings again, though, starting the second fall, where Falls Count Anywhere!
Lex Robinson: Something tells me this might be a little anticlimactic. Casanova and Lacklan haven't moved since that gigantic hurracanrana.
Steve Hebert: It wasn't even a perfect spiking, they tumbled at a diagonal, so it's not like that should've killed them. Pussies.
Lex Robinson: I'd dare say that you aren't going to get up after a maneuver like that.
Steve Hebert: I'm an angry fat French-Canadian. They're wrestlers. Your point is irrelevant.
Lex Robinson: Whoa...Casanova's finally moving! He crawls over to Lacklan, and throws an arm over him.
1...2...KICKOUT!
Somehow Jean-Paul Lacklan gets the shoulder up, which leads Casanova to slowly sit up, half in incredulity, half in irritation. By the time Casanova's to all fours, Lacklan's finally moving as well, and the two make it to their feet roughly at the same time.
Lex Robinson: There's a staredown, just like at the start of this all, but the field isn't level anymore! Casanova's got a fall already, and Lacklan's behind!
Steve Hebert: You might need to tell JPL that. He looks PISSED.
Sure enough, the two come together with a fierce grapple, which Lacklan quickly reverses to a rear-waistlock. He lifts Casanova up, looking for a German suplex, but Casanova shifts his weight and fights mightily, before finally finding his footing again.
Lex Robinson: A hard elbow strike to Lacklan's ribs, and Casanova's got him hunched into a headlock!
Steve Hebert: But Lacklan's tossed him off easily, going to whip him into the guardrail! Another counter, and Lacklan eats the guardrail instead with his right shoulder!
Lex Robinson: Lacklan howls in pain, hitting that rail hard, as Casanova plays the opportunist, dropping a fist into that same shoulder that hit the rail!
Steve Hebert: I'm telling ya. When he drops those stupid morals, he starts winning matches.
Still clutching Lacklan's right arm, Casanova lifts him to his feet, only to be tied up with lightning speed into a small package!
...1...2...
Lex Robinson: A kickout barely in time! Jean-Paul Lacklan is still severely battered from the end of the first fall and the guardrail, but he's not going without a fight!
Steve Hebert: But he's definitely going. Casanova has that gleam in his eye.
Casanova rises to his feet angrily, well ahead of Jean-Paul Lacklan, and stomps him down, before locking in an arm grapevine on Lacklan's right arm, continuing to wrench that injured shoulder!
Steve Hebert: Don't puss out, big guy! Come on, lose like a man!
Lex Robinson: Don't puss out?! Steve, that shoulder's probably hanging on by a thread! He might need to tap just to avoid having to take a lot of time off career-wise!
Nearly screaming in pain, Jean-Paul Lacklan painfully shoves his weight forward, until he is on his knees, his weight driving Casanova's shoulders to the floor even as the hold continues!
1...2...KICKOUT!
Casanova releases the hold to avoid the pinfall, as Jean-Paul Lacklan slowly rises to his feet, glaring malevolently at Casanova even while clutching his shoulder, which seems to leave Casanova spooked for a moment.
Lex Robinson: I swear, that was fear in Cas's eyes.
Steve Hebert: No way.
Lex Robinson: No, really...I think he's afraid of Lacklan. He can't stop him!
Casanova charges at Jean-Paul Lacklan, who quickly turns his injured shoulder away and drives forward, shoulder blocking Casanova back several feet! Casanova steps forward again, firing a punch at the wounded shoulder, but Lacklan catches the fist and yanks Casanova forward, blasting him back with another fierce headbutt!
Lex Robinson: Holy shit...Casanova just can't seem to stop the big man!
Steve Hebert: Seriously...this is fucked up! Lacklan's like a god damn zombie!
Lex Robinson: It's like the pain must've numbed him completely!
Casanova staggers back, but charges forward again, his face completely covered in blood! He pulls way back, telegraphing a huge roundhouse right fist toward Lacklan's jaw!
Lex Robinson: Lacklan blocks! Casanova grabs the block though, extends the arm...DESTINY CALLING!
Steve Hebert: I heard Lacklan's teeth clack together all the way over here! He's gotta be done!
Lex Robinson: Casanova goes for the cover!
1...2...KICKOUT!
Lex Robinson: No.
Steve Hebert: Dear god...he can't be stopped!
Casanova jolts to his feet, in disbelief! The fans seem utterly shocked! Casanova finally yanks Lacklan to his feet again, and grabs the right arm again!
Lex Robinson: He's gotta do it again! Maybe this time it'll put Lacklan down!
Steve Hebert: He can't be stopped...
Casanova stares Lacklan in the eyes, but Lacklan seems out of it, even on his feet. Casanova almost gingerly lifts his leg up, putting it against Lacklan's right shoulder. He stares for a moment, one last long look into Lacklan's eyes, before snapping back to the ground.
Lex Robinson: Jesus Christ, a modified Destiny Calling, just targetting Lacklan's injured shoulder! Lacklan slumps to the ground, his jaw clenched, his shoulder looking really out of place! Casanova's watching Lacklan grimace in extreme pain, and now he goes for the cover again!
Steve Hebert: If Cas gets this pin, I'll believe he can be stopped!
1...2...3!
Steve Hebert: Jesus Christ...he actually put Lacklan down!
The bell rings, as Casanova finally rises to his feet, staring down Lacklan, who seems too injured to rise on his own. Sure enough, medics make their way down quickly, as Casanova heads around the ring and up the ramp, with no expression on his face but disbelief.
Lex Robinson: Can you believe what just went down here? We didn't even get to the third fall!
Steve Hebert: I don't think these two would've had anything left for that one even if they got there.
Lex Robinson: That much seems very true.
The medics finally get Jean-Paul Lacklan strapped to a stretcher, but before they can even get him around the ring, he has broken free! Lacklan falls to his knees, grimacing in pain as he clutches his shoulder, but finally gets to his feet again and slowly staggers out on his own power.
Steve Hebert: I still think he's a fucking zombie.
Lex Robinson: He isn't a zombie, Steve, but he seemed damn near unstoppable tonight.
Winner: Casanova
Morgana is in the casino, playing with a deck of cards, dealing them up and then throwing them down. She is quickly approached by Corey Page, who demands another chance of beating Morgana, trying to win back his pet goat.
Corey Page: All right, Titgana, we're going to get to the bottom of this. You may have beaten me before; but you won't win in a game of strip poker.
Morgana, who now leans her face against her palm, nods in amusement and takes a seat at a poker table, following Corey Page's actions.
Morgana: Game on.
Corey Page: Finally... I'm going to get you naked, tie you up and then throw you into Booger's shower.
Morgana: Pffft... that's disgusting.
Corey Page: Almost as disgusting as Toronto Maple Leaf forward, Kyle Wellwood, being a creepy old rapist. But not quite. Remember that time he tried to kidnap you?
Morgana: Uhm... no.
Corey Page: Well, I do! So, deal those cards.
Listening to Corey, she begins to hand out the cards. Corey, with his tongue wagging out, almost overjoyed, holds up his cards and then eyes Morgana.
Corey Page: And there'll be no cheating!
Morgana: I don't cheat.
Corey Page: Yeah, right. Then how did you beat me earlier?!
Morgana: Don't make me slap you.
Corey Page: Yes, sir. :(
Gazing over his hand, Corey looks at his cards... 2 jacks. Licking his lips, he waits for the time is right and lays his cards.
Corey Page: Hah! Beat that, huh? You can't! I fucking win; now give me back my goat.
Morgy presses her cards down.
Morgana: 2 Kings. I win this hand.
Corey Page: WHAT THE FUCK?
Morgana: Off with some clothes.
Corey Page: Ma'am, yes, ma'am.
The suddenly bashful Corey Page removes his sombrero which he had worn for this special occasion. The game continues...
...---10 minutes later---...
Morgana: Full house!
Corey Page sits half-naked at the poker table, his sparkling Edward Cullen boxers glistening in the lights of the casino. He grumbles, pulls down his underpants and listens to the laughter of everyone as they point and gesture at his tiny crotch.
Corey Page: It's shriveled, okay? Jesus!
Fed up with losing at Poker, Corey Page stomps off, while everyone cackles at his expense, still without his goat. In the meantime, John Stamos and Bob Saget walk into the scene.
John Stamos: Did someone call out to us?
Morgana: No. You can go back to doing blow off Mary Kate's chest, along with Mr. Belding.
John Stamos: Have mercy!
Bob Saget and John Stamos skip off, returning to whatever they were doing. Morgana, meanwhile, scrapes up her winnings, even picking up the scummy piece of underwear Corey Page had left behind. She inspects it, spots errant cum-stains on the inside and scrunches her face.
Morgana: Ewwww, poor Edward. At least I keep mine clean.
Suddenly, she pulls down her pants and slightly pulls up her shirt, revealing her very own sparkling Edward cullen thong, while disposing of Corey's underpants.
Ace Rodgers awaits backstage, like always, looking for his next big story. Tonight, at Over the Top Rope 4, he realizes there will be all kinds of juicy stuff backstage. Just like any pay-per-view that SIN Wrestling hosts. There was always a big story just waiting to happen. Tonight, was no exception to that, and as he looks down the hallway he notices a couple approaching him.
A chatty black haired lady, with dark skin, who reminded him of the lead singer of the pussycat dolls sort of, and a man walked beside her. Of course he knew it was not her, that was coming, he knew everyone would be all over Nicole Scherzinger had she stepped into this arena, but for some reason these two had caught his attention so he made his move, trying to get closer and listen to them, but Ace, the darling interviewer just doesn't pay enough attention, as the black haired woman and he both run into each other, causing one another to fall backwards.
Ace Rodgers: I am so sorry!
Ace quickly apologizes, jumps up and notices the man alongside the woman helping her up quite calmly. The man didn't look to be very nice, as he wore a calm, but ice cold demeanour over his face.
Female: Oh, it is not a problem.
The darling black haired lady speaks, looking over to the man beside her. Ace was starting to see them as something more than just regular fans backstage; so, with curiosity, he asks...
Ace Rodgers: So, uh, who are you two?
The man standing next to the women now, with short dirty blonde hair, and a pair of black jeans and a black t-shirt to match, looked to his right, making sure she's alright. He smiles at her, giving her a calming effect as he always did, as he slowly turns his attention towards the man who knocked into his lovely life.
However, he was happy he did say he was sorry, not the way he wanted to start somewhere new, as he looked at the man. He was a little taken aback from the question this guy with the microphone had asked him, but didn't show it as he had a grin across his face, and leaned forward, placing his hand on the man's shoulder.
Man: My friend, we are the hottest duo, to ever grace Sin Wrestling. You see, this lovely lady to my right, is the very beautiful, the very talented, and thet girl that gives Sin a good name...
He looked over to his wife and gave her a wink as he slowly turns his attention to the man with the microphone...
Man: She would be Kaylie Vaugh Devlin; and well, as for myself...
He lets out a small chuckle as Ace peers at him.
Man: I would be the man who is taking this place to new limits, of course I'd be Carrick Devlin, and we are the newest and best signees to Sin Wrestling.
He smiles as he looks over to his wife, who is ready to add something before Ace can speak.
The lovely Kaylie was stunned to see her husband so happy about something, but she let her smile grow bigger, as well.
Kaylie Vaughn Devlin: It is true there, uhm, what's your name?
Ace looks over to her holding his microphone out...
Ace Rodgers: My name is Ace Rodgers.
She nods.
Kaylie Vaughn Devlin: Ah, well, Ace, it is true; Carrick and I have been married for about a year and we just signed with SIN earlier today, just as this astonishing pay-per-view event was about to take place. We just stopped by to come and see what the company had to offer, before we jumped right in and took our first steps.
Ace grins, asking his next question.
Ace Rodgers: So, what have you two thought about the other talent here so far?
Kaylie also grins, being the first to answer the question.
Kaylie Vaughn Devlin: Well, I can't lie. "The Spin the Wheel, Make the Deal" match was one of the best I've seen; those two really did their best to please the fans out there. No matter the outcome of it, neither of them have anything to be ashamed of. I really think that our debut next week, will be quite thrilling when we get to work with stars who are this good.
She now looks over at her husband, letting him answer the man's question, as well.
Carrick Devlin slowly lets a smile form across his lips, as he looks at his wife take charge. On the other hand, he had already forgotten Ace's name, as he looks curiously into the sky. He decides to wing it and go with the first name he was thinking it could be...
Carrick Devlin: Like my wife said, Blake, the ta...
Kaylie swats his arm and whispers something into his ear, as Ace stands back, shaking his head, a little upset that Carrick has forgotten his name. In any event, Carrick smiles and casually returns to what he had been saying.
Carrick Devlin: Like my wife said, Ace, the talent here is incredible; and we are just glad to finally get to do what we love. However, don't get me wrong, my friend; we don't plan on being some deer-in-headlights here. We plan on winning matches and giving the fans the best show they have ever seen. It's just in our nature, Ace, and something the people who do know us, love about us.
Ace nods as Carrick smiles and put his arm around his wife's shoulders.
Ace Rodgers: What happens when you have to face a man? Do you think you're going to be able to take that kind of punishment?
Kaylie, looking stern, has her smile disappear from her face.
Kaylie Vaughn Devlin: Ace, there is one thing I always hate when people ask that question. They automatically assume I don't have the talent that a man does, and that is simply not true. You see, while many men work with power -- and I respect any bit of their craft, I use my whole body, not just the upper torso area. I am swift and I am hard to catch. My agility is quite good. So, to be honest, I wouldn't see facing a man as punishment. I'd see it as facing some of the best talent there is available... not that I am opposed to facing other women, either. Facing either gender is just fine by me.
She then turns to Carrick.
Carrick Devlin: And my husband knows, as well, that I can contend with the best-of-the-best. He has seen me in action, just like I have him; and I think SIN wrestling is going to be in shock when they see us wrestle for the first time. Whether it be singles or tag team action, both of us know our way around the squared circle.
She giggles now, touching her husband's nose as Ace brought forth his final question for the duo.
Ace Rodgers: So, tell me then, is there anyone the two of you are targeting?
He asked this, aiming the question towards Carrick.
In return, Carrick looks at Ace, feeling slighly taken aback by the abruptness of the question. However, Carrick always had the answers; and this was no different, as he flicks his wife's finger away from his nose, laughing a bit as he answers Ace.
Carrick Devlin: Targeting? That's such an ugly word, man. We just got here like 5 minutes ago. Only person we've gotten to meet so far is you. So, the only person we could have a problem with is you. However, that's not the case, so don't get crazy; yet to answer your question. I guess you could we are targeting the entire roster, better yet..
He paused a second and nodded his head,
Carrick Devlin: We are putting Sin Wrestling on notice right here, and right now. If anyone wants to step up, and try to stop the hottest young duo in this company, then go right ahead. It doesn't matter who you are, just realize this... you're stepping into the ring with two people you've never seen before; and trust me, you won't be ready when the time comes. Nobody ever is, isn't that right, sweetie?
He smiles as he looked over at his wife, letting her finish his statement he just hit on.
Kaylie Vaughn Devlin: That is right. We are fresh, young, and we will fight anyone. That is the way we are. We're not prejudice when it comes to in the ring, All we want is to show the world what we can do. Though, I'll give my respect to anyone who tries, we're not that easy to beat. However, the next match is about to start there Acey-Poo, we will have to see you later.
She waves off as she takes off, holding her husband's hand...
Ace Rodgers: Acey-Poo? I like it!
Ace watches the married couple walk away, with the tendencies of a goatfucker written on his face.
Lex Robinson: Here we go with the first of our "Evening The Odds" matches. This should be a heck of a show between Sebastian York and Keeley Powers!
Steve Hebert: Stupid announcer says what?
Lex Robinson: What?
Steve Hebert: Exactly. You’ve got to be kidding me, Lex! If I knew how to say "Boring!" in Italian, I'd be telling the crowd to shout it already. This is just filler until we watch all the glory that is The Collective.
Lex Robinson: You're willing to bet the house on that? Declan Turner's going to have a tough set of matches today. Besides, we’re about ready to watch two of the more talented youngsters here in Sin.
Steve Hebert: Yeah, yeah. I'm just waiting for the next York relative to come out of the woodwork. I can describe this match in three words: DO NOT WANT.
All My Life I been searching for something...
Something never comes, never leads to nothing...
Nothing satisfies, but I'm gettin close...
Closer to the prize at the end of the rope
The words MADE FOR TV appear on the screen as the lights in the arena slowly began to dim and "All My Life" by the Foo Fighters progresses on. An array of baby blue lasers shoot into various directions, moving about, in time with the rhythm of the music.
As the song drops in, explosions go off, as Sebastian York makes his way to the top of the ramp, rocking out to the music. He hops up and down atop the ramp before bursting into a full sprint towards the ring.
Sliding into the ring, he pops up onto his feet and lifts both of his hands into the air, drawing a huge pop from the crowd as pyro shoots into the air from the each corner. As the pyro display dies down, Sebastian nods to the referee and waits for his match to begin.
Lex Robinson: And Keeley's not waiting for York to enter! She's charging for the ropes!
York does the smart thing and stops quick, taking a step back. Keeley herself stops short from the ropes, as if she intended to fake all along.
Lex Robinson: Now that's one hell of a stalemate. Keeley fakes a dive over the top rope just to make York think twice.
Steve Hebert: You know, maybe I ought to speak in LOLCAT for the rest of the match. That will make it more interesting.
Lex Robinson: Just shut up, Steve.
York finally enters the ring and stares Keeley down, who is already hopping in place. The bell finally rings, and the two circle each other, ready for a move.
Lex Robinson: Strength versus speed. Who usually wins in these matchups?
Steve Hebert: Insomniacs. I can has Nytol?
Lex Robinson: The two finally tie up, and York naturally gets Keeley into a headlock first. Keeley squirms out of it quickly, however, and lands a drop kick to York's back!
Steve Hebert: She’s going to keep doing that every time York grabs her. He has to be as fast as she is!
Keeley starts to kick at York's back, but he climbs the ropes back to a standing position. Keeley comes back in for a punch, but gets an elbow to the chest.
Steve Hebert: Boobpunch LOL.
Lex Robinson: I told you to stop that. York does have the upper hand, though. He curls his arms around Keeley’s neck and slams her to the mat with a strong neckbreaker!
York takes his time to stand up and starts to drop elbows on Keeley's midsection.
Steve Hebert: If you want to ground a high-flier, you keep them grounded. York's being very smart in such a boring match.
Lex Robinson: York pulls Keeley up and gives her a standing head-scissors...is he looking to hit a Powerbomb?
York does lift Keeley up, but she slips her legs out of the hold and lands on the ground, landing a drop kick to York's knee!
Lex Robinson: That’s what Keeley needs to do! She's trying to chop the tree down! Kicks to York's left knee, over and over again!
Keeley pounces onto the the top with a high jump, then plants another kick to York's head.
Lex Robinson: Keeley into the pin!
...1...!
Steve Hebert: York quickly tosses her off. In a very sexy manner, too, might I add.
Keeley goes back to targeting York's knees. She backs York into the corner with her kicks, then climbs the ropes directly over him.
Lex Robinson: Looking for a double stomp!
Steve Hebert: But York stands up and gets Keeley across his shoulders in a fireman’s carry! He takes two running steps, then...nails Keeley with a fallaway slam!
Lex Robinson: Sounds like you're more interested in this, Steve.
Steve Hebert: What? No! This match? Not sew grate, akshualy.
Lex Robinson: York with a pin!
...1...2...!
Steve Hebert: He only gets a two count!
York targets a few more rib with some hard punches to Keeley’s chest. He slides back onto the mat and...
Lex Robinson: And he's got her in an armbar! He's going to try to rip her ribs apart!
Steve Hebert: Not cool, York. Slowing the match dooooown.
Lex Robinson: I think that's what you want to do with a speedster. Keeley's trying to escape, but York's got it locked on good!
Keeley's back rests on the mat, so the referee starts his count.
...1...
Lex Robinson: One...! No, Keeley's smart enough to keep her shoulders up.
York tries to keep the grip on tight, but Keeley tries to stretch her legs out...
Lex Robinson: And Keeley gets her leg on the ropes! York has to stop the hold!
Steve Hebert: York's playing too lazy here. He needs a knockout punch now!
York finally lets go and stands up. He marches over to Keeley to get another hold. Keeley drapes her arms across the top rope.
Lex Robinson: And Keeley's kicking at York's knee again! York's down to a knee!
Keeley keeps her kicks up, but York manages to grab Keeley's right foot. Keeley just twists into the opposite direction with an enziguiri!
Lex Robinson: York's out cold with a kick to the temple! Keeley into another pin!
...
Steve Hebert: Not EVEN a one-count! York's twisted Keeley to the mat!
Lex Robinson: He's trying to lock on his Sharpshooter hold, "Fighting Mediocrity"! But Keeley's fighting back on her own, again sliding out of the grip! It's like she’s made of grease!
Steve Hebert: Ooooooh. Greased-up women.
Lex Robinson: Keeley's a little slower than before, but...she's spraying kicks and scratches in all directions! She bounces off the ropes and floors York with another drop kick!
With York out of breath and on the mat, Keeley scales the ropes.
Lex Robinson: Keeley's looking to hit her hurracanrana on York when he stands up!
Steve Hebert: Stand down, Yorkie!
Lex Robinson: Keeley's off the top rope...and she hits it! A spinning hurracanrana! York's on the mat for the count!
...1...2...!
Steve Hebert: No! York's up! Takes more than that to keep a proud metrosexual down!
Keeley isn't sure how she wasn't able to keep York down. She quickly gets up to the top rope again.
Lex Robinson: She's going to hit another! York stands up...
Keeley comes off the top again, legs around York’s neck, but York keeps her from twisting around.
Lex Robinson: York's got her up and...no, sets her back down and latches her in for a better hold...but she's up again...
Steve Hebert: And he hits his lethal fisherman's suplex, "The Hunger"!
Lex Robinson: Into a pin!
...1...2...!
Keeley's leg is AGAIN on the rope!
Steve Hebert: Dammit, York's pinning her too close to the ropes. Is he purposely making up wait through this boring match?
York drags Keeley to the center of the ring.
Lex Robinson: York's pulling Keeley to the center again. He's got her into another fireman's carry, but Keeley's trying to kick out of it! She's wobbling on York's back, but...York finally hit his "Made For TV" neckbreaker!!
York goes into a roll-up.
...1...
Lex Robinson: One...!
...2...
Lex Robinson: Two...!
...3!
Lex Robinson: York gets the bell and the pin!
Steve Hebert: kthxbai, Keeley!
Lex Robinson: Sebastian York had a tough match, but he shows us a small preview of what could be an intense battle royal tonight!
York catches his breath as he rolls out of the ring, his arm lifted by the referee amidst a smattering of applause. Keeley recovers against the ropes, but gets an approving nod from York before he heads to the back, finger raised over his head.
Winner: Sebastian York
The scene opens earlier in the day...
Davey “ReKon” Dunham: Where are we?
Doug Shanelas: On a plane.
Davey “ReKon” Dunham: Oh, yeah. I must’ve fallen asleep and forgotten we’re on a plane to Morocco.
Doug nods before Morocco registers in his brain.
Doug Shanelas: Wait, what? Morocco?
Davey “ReKon” Dunham: Yeah, you know, for the pay-per-view.
Doug Shanelas: I know about the pay-per-view, but what does Morocco have to do with anything?
Davey “ReKon” Dunham: Duh, Doug. Morocco. The windy city! The big apple! The city of Angels!--
Doug Shanelas: Hold on. You think we’re headed to Chicago, New York-Angeles?
Davey “ReKon” Dunham: Yeah. Morocco. Remember?
Doug lowers his head and rubs his temples with his forefingers.
Doug Shanelas: You’re totally confused, aren’t you?
Davey “ReKon” Dunham: Yes. Yes, I am.
Doug nods again, picking up the magazine he had rested on his leg.
Doug Shanelas: Just sit back and enjoy the ride, Davey. We’ll be there--wherever ‘there’ is--shortly.
Davey “ReKon” Dunham: Awesome. I can't wait...!
Fade out.
The strobes continue as the heavy riffs of "Sold Me" kick in, and eventually the riffs soften and vocals filter in...
Blue spotlight shines down, revealing Shane Donovan standing on the stage, a smug look on his face as he walks to the ring. The light follows him as he makes his way around the ring itself, sneering and taunting fans before taking off his jacket and tossing it into the crowd. He then slides into the ring as the lights return to normal.
Lex Robinson: Shane‘s been off to a rocky start since his appearance back in Sin. Hopefully he can pull off this win against ReKon.
Steve Hebert: Yeah, but probably not.
Lex Robinson: Shane Donovan is a seasoned veteran with a rich history that dates back years in the place and you are seriously suggesting that ReKon, an undoubtedly good rookie, is going to pull a win over “the purest wrestler in Sin?”
Steve Hebert: I bet five dollars ReKon does.
The ReKon insignia flashes on the forefront of a black screen. The notorious theme song from the infamous Terminator trilogy blasts through the sound barrier to indicate the entrance of a beloved warrior of all that is awkward. Twelve, if not more, cameras pan over the always enthusiastic crowd of wrestling fanatics now being engulfed in lively strobe lights; at the core of which is a gigantic spotlight illuminating everything in sight. Gun fire and explosions erupt in the background, causing many to jump, startled. The members of the audience all appear to be wearing camouflage via visual effects, which results in a strict semblance of a military base. A single camera angles upward, where we immediately spot a man slowly descending from the rafters via parachute.
As the theme winds down, ReKon released himself from the parachute and falls several inches to the canvas at the center of the ring. Stagehands roll up the parachute and stuff it under the ring. ReKon climbs the closest turnbuckle and salutes his fans who return the gesture. The visual effects start to dim as the music fades. ReKon performs the finishing touches of his warm-up regiment, highlighted by the tossing of t-shirts and boxes of ReKon Krackers in the form of M.R.I.'s into the sea of fans. Lex Robinson: The bell rings and Donovan is already all over ReKon‘s back! Huge forearms to ReKon‘s back brings him down to one knee. Donovan already showing some great tactics in the beginning of this match.
Steve Hebert:Irish-whip by Donovan--reversed by ReKon. Donovan off the ropes and on the comeback-- no! Rekon with a superkick! Donovan falls over and Rekon goes for a pin...!
...1...2...
Lex Robinson: One... two... and... no!
Shane Donovan kicks out, easily.
Lex Robinson: Next, ReKon pulls Shane Donovan up by his hair and slams headfirst into the turnbuckle, where he received repeated headshots.
Steve Hebert: Donovan reverses, though!
LeX Robinson: Wait, no... ReKon reverses that reversal! Furious punches! Kick to the gut! And another! And Another! MUDHOLE STOMPS! ReKon is REALLY working out there tonight and Donovan looks like a wet paper bag.
Steve Hebert: I think I had sex with a wet paper bag once.
The ref advises ReKon, as he goes back to work. He lifts Donovan up back to his feet, Irish whip him to the opposite turnbuckle, slamming him hard against the turnbuckle pads!
LeX Robinson: Shane Donovan is staggering backwards... ReKon runs forward, bounces off the ropes and performs a huge bulldog onto Shane, who is flops over onto his back. The crowd is going nuts!
Lex Robinson: They sure are! Now they‘re actually cheering for ReKon! ReKon climbs the turnbuckle, salutes the crowd before leaping off! He hits a Diving Headbutt!
Steve Hebert: Furthermore, it opens up a tiny wound on Shane Donovan's head.
ReKon staggers back to his feet as the crowd chants.
Steve Hebert: ReKon lifts Shane Donovan up to his feet, only to be met with some right hands from Shane, who tries to fire himself up. Sadly, that army fag, Rekon, blocks the attempts and punches back! He strikes Shane Donovan over and over...
LeX Robinson: Rekon is on fire!
Steve Hebert: Quick, pour some water on him!
Lex Robinson: ReKon with a knee to the Shane's gut. He uses this momentum to whip Shane into the turnbuckles, sending him chest-first into the corner. He stumbles back...
Steve Hebert: What's ReKon doing now?
Lex Robinson: Davey "Rekon" Dunham is going for his move... The Fallback!
With his arms wrapped around Shane Donovan's waist, Davey Dunham, aka ReKon, hits multiple German suplexes.
Lex Robinson: One German suplex... he rolls up... two... he rolls up again... three... and another... and another!
Steve Hebert: He hits 9 German suplexes in a row! Holy cowbells.
Lex Robinson: Rekon goes for another German suplex...
Rolling back up, still with his arms wrapped around Shane's waist, he hits one more, completing that with a bridging-pinfall...
...1...2...
Steve Hebert: There's no way Shane Donovan can get out of this.
...3!
Lex Robinson: You're right; the three is made. It's all over for Shane D.
Steve Hebert: Obviously.
Lex Robinson: Davey "Rekon" Dunham is in tonight's battle royal, will he use this momentum to carry over? We'll have to see.
Steve Hebert: Well, I‘ll tell you what you lost.
Lex Robinson: What‘s that?
Steve Hebert: Five dollars, bitch. Pay up.
The sounds of Lex paying Steve are heard, as Davey Dunham/Rekon exits the ring, leaving a bewildered Shane Donovan on the canvas.
Winner: Davey "Rekon" Dunham
Again, Morgana stands all by her lonesome in the Casino; and once again, she is joined by an even more flustered Corey Page. Enraged, he slams his fist down on the table, knocking over stacks of chips and everything.
Corey Page: That's it! I want Betsy back; and I want her back right now!
Corey reaches into his pocket...
Corey Page: We're going to play Roulette!
Morgana: Sure.
However, Corey Page pulls a gun out of his pocket and points it to his head. Seeing this, Morgana leaps toward him, pushes the gun down and fights it out of his hand.
BANG!
A shot is misfired and a bullet traces out, hitting a piece of steel, bounces back and strikes a passing Arran Hayden in the leg. Shocked, he crumples to the ground, with blood oozing out of his leg, as a crowd gathers around him, not knowing what the fuck.
Morgana, on the other hand, completely yanks the gun out of Corey's hand.
Corey Page: You can't do that!
Morgana: You would have shot yourself!
Corey Page: Isn't that how you play Roulette?
Morgana: No! That's Russian Roulette!
Corey Page: But it's how "The Creep" told me!
Morgana: Ugh, don't listen to him. Look...
Finally, Morgana leads Corey towards a roulette table.
Morgana: You have to make bets on numbers... and there's colors... and... look, all I know is that you bet on something and they spin the wheel.
Corey Page: Sounds like fun to me! Let's play!
Morgana: But we don't even know how-...
With that, Corey puts all of his chips on red. Shrugging her shoulders, Morgy bets on black.
The wheel spins...
Spinner: And the winner is... black!
Corey Page pounds his fists into his palm and walks off, trying to figure out another way to win Betsy back. Unfortunately, his plans are going nowhere... and even injuring some of his own roster.
The cameras open to the area outside of the casino, where red, white and blue balloons surround a stage that has 2 podiums placed on it. Fans are gathered around, waiting for something to happen, when "Hail to the Chief" plays, getting a resounding... jeer from the fans.
Hey, we are in Europe, after all.
Out first, Chris Extreme, wearing his usual white boxers, steps out on stage, taking his place at the first podium. Next, Mike Phantasy walks out, wearing a blue and white jacket and throwing various "Phantasize Your Vote" pins into the fans.
When he takes his spot, Chris Extreme begins to cough into the microphone...
Chris Extreme: Ahem...
...
Chris Extreme: Ahem.
His coughing becomes violent wheezing and hacking.
Chrris Extreme: Ahhhhemmm!
The fans begin to become annoyed.
Chris Extreme: Fellow Americans...
European Fans: Booo!
Chris looks shocked, not knowing what the fuck.
Chris Extreme: What the fuck? Why do you faggots boo me? I'll be your next President. Hell, I am the President. President of the United States of America, and if you faggots don't shut the fuck up, I'll bomb this shithole.
Even more jeers pour in.
Chris Extreme: What the fuck is going on here? [he glares at Mike Phantasy] Did you make them do this?!
Mike shrugs, but then begins to speak.
Mike Phantasy: These jeers are even further proof as to why... I, Mike Phantasy should be your president. No more taxes... no more laws... no more ugly Europeans with filthy teeth... and...
Fans: Booo!
Mike Phantasy: Huh? What the heck?!
Chris Extreme: Haha, they hate you even worse than me. This election is mine.
BOOM!
A bullet soars through the air, slicing a single hair on Chris Extreme's head.
Chris Extreme: Hey, what the fuck?
Mike Phantasy: Haha, that was a gunshot. Someone's try to assassinate you.
Chris Extreme: What in the Dickens?
BOOM!
Another bullet flies through the air, narrowly missing Mike Phantasy, with the bullet going through his nice, bright, blue jacket.
Mike Phantasy: Hey!
Chris Extreme: Haha, now someone's trying to kill you. Awesome.
Mike Phantasy: Wait just a second...
Mike points to a sniper on the roof of a nearby building.
Chris Extreme: Isn't that the faggot we're supposed to fight tonight or something?
Mike Phantasy: It is. "August Gross" or something.
Chris Extreme: Hmm, that's not good.
Mike Phantasy: Don't worry, I got this under control...
Bending over, Mike Phantasy picks up a rock and throws it in the direction of the sniper, striking him smack-dab in the head. As a result, the sniper drops the gun, falls off the roof and leaves Chris Extreme and Mike Phantasy safe... for now.
Mike Phantasy: That just proves why I'll be the better president.
Chris Extreme: Like fuck you will, you son of a prick.
From behind the podium, Chris removes a barbed-wire wrapped steel chair... that is also covered in dogshit.
CRACK!
Chris Extreme smashes the chair across Mike Phantasy's head; and thus begins the match!
Steve Hebert: Dude, did you try the hotdogs?
Lex Robinson: They don‘t sell hotdogs here.
Steve Hebert: *spits* THEN WHAT THE FUCK AM I EATING?!
Lex Robinson: New wrestler, Augustus Cross, gets up, shaking the spots away from his eyes after that huge fall from the roof, by that rock thrown by Mike Phantasy. They’re adding a new section to this side of the casino. Weapons are legal and the wrestlers involved were encouraged to bring their own weapons.
Steve Hebert: Chris Extreme starting things off by slamming a folding chair covered in dog shit and barbed wire, across the back of Augustus Cross!
Lex Robinson: The rusty metal, mixed with shit is BOUND to cause some sort of horrible infection.
Steve Hebert: You mean like this one? [lifts shirt]
Lex Robinson: Oh GOD! What is that?!
Steve Hebert: I don‘t know but I think I got it when I went to that spa last weekend. And by “spa,” I mean “bathhouse.” And by “went to,” I mean “came in.”
Lex Robinson: Phantasy is up with a pair of gardening shears. Wielding it like a sword, he slashes at Extreme, cutting a deep gash across his back. Folks, when we say Ultraviolence, we mean it! Blood is cascading out of that wound!
Steve Hebert: Cross is already up, running towards Extreme, spear into Extreme! That’s how you do it! Jesus Christ, the force of that spear sent the two men through a support beam!
Lex Robinson: Phantasy with those shears is stalking after Cross. He kicks away at the debris, but Cross is up. LOW BLOW! Cross with a contractor grade staple gun! TWO STAPLES TO PHANTASY‘S FOREHEAD! Cross goes to work on his face. SPINNING BACK FIST! Phantasy takes that last hit, flies backward and lands awkward in the rubble.
Steve Hebert: Cross looking to find Extreme with that shit and spike covered chair. Extreme is behind him! Cross turns too late! CHAIRSHOT TO THE FOREHEAD! And now, Cross is back where he started. CHAIRSHOT TO PHANTASY! Extreme going to work on these two men. It‘s like WHACK-A-MOLE!
Lex Robinson: Extreme is wandering around the construction site, looking for something to use. Grabs a rope. It‘s connected to a pulley system. Extreme, still bleeding, runs back to Cross and ties it around his throat! Extreme grabbing that other end and yanking, trying to hang Cross in the air! Cross tries to wrap his legs around something heavy to keep from being pulled any further. Yes! He latches onto a support beam and tries to loosen the noose!
Steve Hebert: Is that legal? Like FOR REAL legal?
Lex Robinson: Yes, it most certainly IS.
Steve Hebert: Phantasy is up and running to Extreme and leaps to the air! Hurricanrana on Extreme, sending both men spilling back to the hard gravel of the construction site. This buys Cross sometime who‘s rubbing at his throat profusely. Phantasy up already, laying kicks Extreme, knocking the wind right out of him.
Lex Robinson: Cross got his composure back after that hellacious choke session. He runs to Phantasy... bulldog from behind! Man, Phantasy‘s head just got PLANTED across that errant two-by-four. The gash from the staples has opened even further and Phantasy is rolling around trying to wipe the blood from his eyes.
Steve Hebert: Cross now with that already infamous rope. Now HE‘S tying it around Extreme‘s throat! Payback is a bitch!
Cross back to the other rope, pulling. Extreme is struggling as he‘s raised up into a sitting position. Another heave gets Extreme onto his feet. Another! And another! Extreme with fingers jammed between the rope and his neck, desperately trying to breathe!
Lex Robinson: Cross is just heaving and jerking that rope, making Extreme go up and down!
Steve Hebert: At least he isn't jerking Chris off!
Three feet! Six feet! Phantasy is up. He places Extreme‘s chair beneath him. What did he do that for? Phantasy with the shears, runs to Cross and slashes at him. Cross lets go of the rope and narrowly avoids getting cut in half... Extreme with a ten-foot drop, landing his spine on his own shit and spike covered chair!
Lex Robinson: Chris Extreme must have fell... I don't know how many feet!
Steve Hebert: That's a lot of feet!
Inside, the fans go completely insane and start to chant for the rookie, Augustus Cross.
Steve Hebert: Phantasy and Cross are now dueling in the gravel again. Phantasy strikes at Cross in a downward-motion. Cross to block with the hand that‘s holding the staple gun. They grab each other‘s hands as if they‘re locked in a sword fight. Cross is smiling! He depresses the trigger on the staple gun! He... he... he unloads some staples into Mike Phantasy's face! My god yes!
Lex Robinson: Now Phantasy‘s clawing at his face to get those staples out!
Wobbling back and forth, Mike tries ripping the metal staples out, gashing out several pieces of his own flesh, in the process. Trickling blood pours down his face, onto his chest, with each heave.
Lex Robinson: Cross with a gutwrench lift. He runs forward with Phantasy above his head--POWERBOMB ONTO A CRATE, EXPLODING IT INTO SEVERAL THOUSAND WOODEN SHARDS!
Steve Hebert: Holy shit, that was an amazing display of athleticism and power. Augustus Cross is taking no prisoners tonight--...
Lex Robinson: CHAIRSHOT TO AUGUSTUS CROSS! Cross is now and FINALLY split wide open with that chair. Extreme getting monster payback for the attempted hanging. Cross isn’t out of the game yet as he simply stumbles back--KICK TO THE BALLS! Oh my G-STUNNER! STUNNER!
Steve Hebert: "Lord Nazi" out of fucking nowhere!
Lex Robinson: And Chris Extreme, trying to change the dynamic of this match, with that gigantic stunner! He drops across the gravel, across Cross‘s downed body. A ref slides in with a count!
...1...2...
Steve Hebert: Augustus Cross kicks out! Are you kidding me?!
Lex Robinson: It happens!
Cross digs deep, trying to find that last burst of energy and kicks out! Extreme is furious, as he should be. He tries to pick up Cross as he angles the chair with his other foot!
Steve Hebert: Uh oh, this doesn‘t look good.
Lex Robinson: Phantasy is back on his feet as Extreme lifts Cross into a chokeslam. Phantasy with a drop toe hold on Extreme! Extreme loses his grip and falls forward. CROSS WITH A MODIFIED DDT TO EXTREME ON TO THE CHAIR!
Steve Hebert: That chair is getting more action tonight that your wife does at a gangbang.
Lex Robinson: Shut your mouth, Steve, she's a classy lady!
Steve Hebert: Clashy smashy.
Lex Robinson: Back to the action. Mike Phantasy, realizing the adrenaline blocks out the pain and begins to pulls large shards of wood from his back. Wiping the blood out of his eye, he runs back towards the rope. Phantasy has gotten his shears back! He stomps back over to the body of Cross. Huge kick to the midsection again!
Sweat and blood roll down Mike Phantasy's face, as if to re-engergize him.
Steve Hebert: Our savior, our king, Mike Phantasy, is on a rampage, now, going to work on Cross, showing the rookie how it’s supposed to be done. He lifts Augustus up to his feet and nails him into the gravel with a bridging Northern Lights Suplex!
Lex Robinson: Here comes the referee...
The count is made...
...1...2...
Lex Robinson: Wow, only a two!
Steve Hebert: All thanks to Cross twisting his legs out and landing flat on his stomach! Getting right back up, Mike Phantasy strikes with kicks to the back.
Lex Robinson: Extreme, still trying to recover from that wicked DDT, as his face is covered in shit and blood.
Steve Hebert: Dog shit, too. The worst kind of shit.
Phantasy sits across Cross‘s back and locks in that Full Nelson submission. As a result, Cross howls in agony, as Phantasy puts him through this clinic of initiation! Now he starts torquing that left arm of Cross, rolling into a Triangle Chokehold!
Steve Hebert: Oh nos, Augustus Cross is gasping for air! His hand is shaking visibly! HE‘S GOT THE SHEARS! HE STABS PHANTASY in the leg! Yes! Stab him!
An inch deep gash sends Phantasy howling and tumbling off Cross, who coughs up a mouthful of blood! Phantasy tries pull those razor sharp shears out his leg; but as he does, blood begins soaking through his wrestling gear!
LeX Robinson: Fighting through the pain, Mike Phantasy goes back on top of Cross, applying a scissor lock to Cross‘s arm with his legs! Now, it's Mike's turn to reach for the shears...
Steve Hebert: Trying to cut off Augustus' fingers, too, might I include!
Lex Robinson: He‘s got the shears around Cross‘ fingers! Cross is struggling to push himself away. What was that? a whistle? Phantasy looks up! SWINGING PAINT CAN INTO THE HEAD OF PHANTASY! WHITE PAINT EXPLODES OUT OF THE CAN ON IMPACT! Cross yanks his hand back right before the shears close!
Steve Hebert:Chris Extreme has tied a paint can to that previous noose and just used it as a human wrecking ball, possibly saving Cross from a having a bloody stump for a hand! How disappointing.
Cross sits up, trying to recover from that vicious beating at the hands of Phantasy, even checking on his fingers, making sure they are still there. On the other hand, no pun intended, Chris Extreme, still woozy from that DDT, stumbles over to Cross.
Lex Robinson: Augustus Cross delivers low blow! He finds his staple gun and tries to use it, but Extreme blocks it. The two men fight over control of the staple gun! Extreme turns it inward and staples Cross‘s designer shirt to his own chest!
Steve Hebert: Ouchies!
Lex Robinson: Extreme with multiple staples shots! Wait... kick to the gut... Cock Factor!
Steve Hebert: But he isn't going for the cover! Instead, Chris rips off Cross‘ shirt... and then staples it back on to his chest, using the staplegun!
In pain, Cross clutches at his chest in agony, with Extreme going to work on Cross' with body shots now!
Steve Hebert: Phantasy‘s face looks beyond mangled. He grabs the rope, using those shears to cut a huge length. He‘s picking up the paint can and wrapping that end of the rope around his forearm! Cross and Extreme are exchanging body blows! Big lefts and rights are now being thrown! Phantasy now swinging that paint can around his head! The other two men are totally oblivious!
Lex Robinson: Extreme with a kick-to-the-gut!
Cross collapses to his knees, ducking out of the way, right as the pain can smashes into Chris Extreme's face! Turning around, he faces a smarmy Mike Phantasy, only to charge at him and then spear him through a support beam!
Lex Robinson: Mike Phantasy is clutching his ribs! Cross with the upper hand! He‘s rolling Phantasy up in that black tarp!
Steve Hebert: Like a fat blunt ready to be smoked!
Lex Robinson: Cross is now stapling all the edges of the tarp to wooden planks in the center of this already partially destroyed structure! He could go for the cover but he isn't! What is he doing...?!
Augustus Cross filthers through a nearby pile of tools, while Extreme is trying to recover from that paint can attack!
Steve Hebert: CROSS WITH A CHAINSAW! HE STARTS IT UP! YES! LEATHERFACE! HE SLICES RIGHT THROUGH THE SUPPORT BEAM! THE STRUCTURE IS COLLAPSING!
Lex Robinson: Good heavens!
Cross drops the chainsaw and picks up a plank of wood as he runs through the collapsing plank, which rains down hard on Mike Phantasy and Chris Extreme, who takes a 2-x-4 in the face! In the end, Mike Phantasy winds up buried within the rubble!
Lex Robinson: Cross now taking that two by four and wedging it underneath Extreme‘s head. Extreme is out COLD. Cross leans down with that stapler and PUTS IT IN EXTREME‘S MOUTH! HE‘S STAPLING EXTREME‘S FACE TO THE WOOD! ANOTHER! ANOTHER! JESUS CHRIST! HOOK OF THE LEG!
Steve Hebert: Lex, don't fucking have a heart attack!
...1...!
Lex Robinson: I can't help it! He just stapled Chris Extreme's tongue to wood, for crying out loud!
...2...!
Steve Hebert: Pssst... that's a two...
... 3!
Steve Hebert: And that's a three! Augustus Cross is the winner! What a preview of things to come! All that violence made be hungry! Good thing I still have this hotdog.
Lex Robinson: I told you already. They don‘t sell hotdogs here!
Steve Hebert: [swallows] Then what the fuck am I eating?!
In a daze, Augustus Cross stands to his feet, stumbles around and has his arm raised by an errant referee. He staggers back into the casino, leaving the other two out cold.
Before the camera feed switches out, though; the scene shows Mike Phantasy's right hand pitching through the darkness, cutting into the daylight, trying to remove himself from the twisted carnage. As for Chris Extreme, he rips his tongue off the wood and walks to the back, leaving a trail of blood behind his steps.
Chris Extreme: I dont fugging car, I am Predident of de World.
The image fades out, showing Mike Phantasy being removed from the rubble, with the camera last zooming in on a "Phantasize Your Vote!" button.
Winner: August Cross
The camera opens inside of Stevie Swing's dressing room, where she is trying on different wrestling outfits for some old, gambling man. She holds one set of tights up to her waist, allowing for the rich old bastard to get a good look.
Stevie Swing: How about this one?
Rich Old Man: Yes, yes; I like that one.
Stevie sticks her nose in the air and holds a second outfit near her.
Stevie Swing: Maybe this one?
Rich Old Man: Yes, yes; I like that one, too. H'yuk, h'yuk. How much do you cost?
Stevie stops in her tracks, looks at the old geezer and arches an eyebrow.
Stevie Swing: I'm Jewish. You better ante-up.
The old man pulls out a wad of 100 dollar bills and begins to furiously count them. Just then, there is a knock on Stevie Swing's door, prompting her to step back, walk towards the door and then open it, revealing...
...Absolutely no one.
Except for a brown Scooby-Doo doll, that is. Bending over, she picks it up, noticing a card tucked into it, making her pluck the card out. She begins reading the words on it out loud, while the old man behind her continues counting money.
Stevie Swing: What the Schnitzel?
The words flow out...
Stevie Swing: "Good Luck My Role Model." Who... hmm...
Stevie looks confusingly at the doll, shuts the door and then turns back to the old man, who now sees the Scooby Doo Doll.
Rich Old Man: Whoa, wait... I'll buy that!
The old man hands over a couple thousand of dollars and is about to reach out and grab the doll, only to have Stevie step back.
Stevie Swing: Whoa, get out of here, dirtbag. Go! Go on! Get!
Stevie shushes the dirty old man out of his dressing room, keeping the old man's wad of cash, as well. Stevie presses her big Jewish nose against the money and begins sniffing it.
Stevie Swing: Smells just as good as Morgana's panties.
With one final look, she glances at the Scooby Doo doll and then stuffs the money into her cleavage.
In what has become a common scene on this evening, Corey Page once again walks up to Morgana, who had been preparing for her upcoming matchup. In his hands, he has a wad of cash and an array of darts, which he slaps on the table, laying out one more challenge to Morgy.
Corey Page: Come on, one more game! Winner takes all! Darts... come on, I'm good at darts. Just watch.
With gusto, Corey flings a dart at the dartboard... but misses. Instead, it flies past the board, jabbing directly into Arran Hayden's leg, as he was laying on a stretcher, being treated for the prior gunshot wound!
Corey Page: Whoops.
Morgana: I think that means you lose.
Corey Page: [sigh] Here you go.
Without actually competing Corey Page hands over the money to Morgana and then walks away, stunned and angered. A gleeful Morgana begins counting her moneys.
Morgana: I will buy a nice cheeseburger with this.
With that, the image fades out.
Lex Robinson: I guess we already know who is going to win the Match of the Century.
Steve Hebert: Tragik is magic man. Magic with a K. Magik. That’s why he’s out here without music and movies and all that shit. World’s greatest journalist…
Lex Robinson: Singlehandedly powers a fail capacitor.
Steve Hebert: And fucked your mom last night.
Generic Heel walks to the ring with no music.
Steve Hebert: Awe-inspiring. It is a wonder that he hasn’t had a World Title match yet.
Lex Robinson: He’s got a losing record.
Steve Hebert: He’s undefeated. Besides…when did that stop Dan Black?
Lex Robinson: Different circumstances.
Steve Hebert: Right, because when Morgana wants an easy title defense, all she has to do is lick Corey’s e-penis. Declan Turner has to work much harder.
Lex Robinson: Oh?
Steve Hebert: E-ass-to-mouth.
A series of burps and farts play on the speaker system and Booger comes walking out, eating a taco, a ham sandwich and a slice of pizza. As he gets to the ringside area, he drops the foot, attempts to roll inside, gets stuck, and decides to wakl up the ring steps, instead. He then cautiously steps into the ring and waits for his match to start.
Lex Robinson: Alright, now with our special guest referee in the ring, we’re ready for the Battle of the Century. The loser has to replace all of the china in Buckingham Palace.
Steve Hebert: Boring. As. Fuck. This match is a pissbreak, because the other two are going to be 34 pageshours long.
Lex Robinson: Whatever. Booger calls for the bell and breaks a sweat doing so.
Steve Hebert: I think I saw the ring jiggle a bit, too.
Lex Robinson: Tragik and Generic Heel leave their corners and meet in the middle of the ring. I can’t help but notice that, in a bizarre display of affection, Tragik is wearing a Generic Heel “Lucha?” shirt.
Steve Hebert: Ask Sebastian York: Those things are flying like free sex from Morgana.
Lex Robinson: Generic Heel mouths off to Tragik a little, who does the same. Tragik pushes Heel, who fires back with a slap! Tragik goes down! Heel goes for the cover. Booger goes down to make the count!
Steve Hebert: The arena just shook!
Lex Robinson: Booger with the count...
...1...2...3!
Steve Hebert:: What?!
Lex Robinson: Three! Booger counted the three! The match is…
Steve Hebert: Over?! Already?!
Lex Robinson: It appears so. Generic Heel is to his feet, celebrating, demanding that Booger make it to his feet to raise his hand in victory, but Booger is having a bit of trouble. Finally, he makes it, sees Heel demanding his hand being raised... and puts him down with a headbutt!
Steve Hebert: It’s Boogertime!
Lex Robinson: Heel and Tragik are stacked like corkwood. Booger bounces off the ropes…and crushes both men!
Steve Hebert: Big Booger Buttquake!
Lex Robinson: Jesus, the ring is shaking!
Steve Hebert: And Booger is looking to eat Heel and Tragik!
Lex Robinson: But before he can, a cadre of Sin employees arrive! One reaches at Booger, only to be grabbed and eaten!
Steve Hebert: The horror!
Lex Robinson: Booger is on a rampage now, swinging at anything that moves!
Steve Hebert: He just ripped off that man’s arm! And he’s eating it!
Lex Robinson: And he’s still crushing Generic Heel and Tragik!
Steve Hebert: Down goes another employee!
Lex Robinson: He’s going to eat the entire goddamn staff!
But Booger doesn’t. He stands, belches, and leaves. Generic Heel lies on top of Tragik, gasping for air.
Recipient of a grand sum of money, Stevie Swing, stands in the back, about to make her way for his 6-person tag war match. She stands, counting her money, as Corey Page slides up to her.
Corey Page: Pssst... can I have a loan? I need it to win my goat back.
Stevie focuses on Corey.
Stevie Swing: Are you freaking nuts? I'm Jewish; get out of here!
Corey Page: Oh. :(
With a sad face, Corey Page waddles off.
Jay is walking backstage clad in her wrestling attire. She cuddles her precious Impulse Title tightly to her bosom whilst telling it sweet lies.
Jay James Keller: Who loves you baby? I do! Yes, I do! You're my baby! No one will ever take you from me! I will defend you to the death!
She stops as she comes to a corner and sees a vagabond on the floor begging for change. Disgusted by the smell of shit and fried chicken she begins to walk the opposite way, but then she notices something familiar about the man. He is wearing a chest harness neck brace and looks thoroughly fucked up. It is her ex-husband Andrew Keller!
Jay James Keller: ANDREW! Holy crappers!
Andrew Keller: Can you help a brotha out, yo? I need some change, yo. For reals.
Jay James Keller: What the fock?
Sadly Andrew has been without a job for so long he has forgotten his beautiful ex-wife and has lost his mind. Jay shakes her head in sympathy.
Jay James Keller: Well gosh Andrew. I feel so bad for you sugar. Maybe I shouldn't have spent all your money!
Andrew Keller: Moneys? MONEYS?
Andrew sniffs the air like an animal and wildly begins to look around. Snarling, he lunges forward at a frightened Jay and she instinctively throws her Impulse Title at him. He bites down on the hard metal, breaking what little teeth he has left as Jay wails.
Jay James Keller: WAHHHHHHHHH! GIVE IT BACK!
Jay stomps her foot and continues to whine as crunching noises are heard just off-screen. Then what is left of the belt, half a leather strap, is tossed back at her. Andrew belches loudly and rubs his stomach.
Andrew Keller: Finga lickin' good!
Jay James Keller: My baby! You ate my baby! WAHHHHH!
Jay runs off screaming as the camera focuses on Andrew's fat tummy.
Moments before her match, Morgana is found at a slot machine, pumping various coins into its slot and then pulling on the arm. After winning more coins, she is joined at the side by an agitated Corey Page, who has rings around his eyes.
Corey Page: Pssst... psssssstttt... psssttttttttt...
She turns to face him.
Morgana: What?
Corey Page: I need a loan of money to win back my goat.
Morgana: ...but I'm the person that you lost her to!
Corey Page: ...Oh yeah, I forgot.
Rubbing at his eyes, Corey pulls on his hair and stomps the ground in anguish. Scratching at her pink head, Morgana calmly watches as Corey storms off, most likely getting ready to hand Betsy over to her.
Well, give us your sad sad trip.
Steve Hebert: It's Andrew Hurley, Lex! This is his first Sin Wrestling match, ever. And it's pretty much in the main event!
Lex Robinson: Even worse, he's brandishing a glass bat.
Steve Hebert: Which he better put up your asshole.
Lex Robinson: Uh...
Steve Hebert: Shove it up there, broken and all.
Lex Robinson: Shut up, will you? Where the heck is Jay?
"Bang Your Head" by Dope Stars Inc. begins to play and the lights fade as dizzying white spotlights begin to swirl around the audience. Jay James walks out from the back, wearing a pair of electric blue daisy dukes and a matching halter top; white winged tipped boots, and white fingerless arm-bands finish off the look. She jogs down the ramp, kind of ignoring the crowd, and slides underneath the ropes. She then proceeds to her respective corner and holds her arms in the air.
Steve Hebert: There's Jay, dummy. She just wanted her own entrance.
Lex Robinson: Yeah, right. If you ask me, there's something unsettling going on in The Collective camp.
Steve Hebert: Good thing no one asked you, in that case.
Inside the ring, Jay removes her Impulse Title belt, sans the actual gold, while Declan takes off his World Title, and hands them over to the ring announcers. These two, along with Andrew Hurley, who is still brandishing his glass baseball bat, stand in wait, wanting their opponents to come out.
Lex Robinson: We have one team out here. All we need now is the other team, featuring Morgana, Chris Carson and Stevie Swing.
Steve Hebert: Or as I call them "Team Fag".
Lex Robinson: But I thought you liked "The Creep"?
Steve Hebert: Oh, I do. However, because he's fighting alongside those other two faghags, Morgana and Stevie Swing, I'm holding it against him.
Lex Robinson: Let's just call him an unreluctant participant.
The arena unexpectedly descends into total darkness, sparking the crowd into an expectant frenzy. After a long moment of anticipation, "Piece of Me (Remix)" by Britney Spears pulses through the sound system, accompanied by an image of Morgana in all of her pink-haired glory, which overtakes the screen.
The crowd cheers at nearly deafening decibels as hot pink and gold fireworks explode down the ramp, prompting Morgana to saunters out from backstage, with Stevie Swing at her side. Following slowly behind them, looking very disdainful and appearing he doesn't want to be a part of the group. As they're about to reach the ringside area, Declan Turner and Andrew Hurley jump to the outside, wanting to bring the fight to the others.
Lex Robinson: Oh my God, here we go! Declan Turner slips out of the ring, followed by Andrew Hurley, complete with glass bat! Declan goes right for Chris Carson, while Andrew Hurley drops off the apron and goes after Stevie Swing, aiming the glass baseball bat at her head. However, before the connection is made, she ducks down, forcing the glass to smash against the ring railing!
Steve Hebert: Jesus Christ, glass shatters everywhere.
Lex Robinson: All of this while Morgana proceeds to slide into the ring, beneath the bottom rope, where both she and Jay begin striking at each other!
Steve Hebert: Punch her! Hit her! Roll around atop each other! Do it for old Steve!
Lex Robinson: Morgy and Jay hit each other with punches and forearms, with Jay eventually using her striking ability to upstage the former World Champ; and current Television Champ. Utilizing an Irish-whip, Jay whips Morgana across the ring and looks to clothesline her head off. However, Morgana ducks beneath this, stands behind Jay and then rolls backward. Rolling backward, she makes a complete head-stand, which allows her to wrap both of her ankles around Jay's head, giving her the chance to use her hands to propel herself off the canvas.
Steve Hebert: She even begins using her hands to start twirling Jay around with a spinning-headscissors, knocking her off her feet!
Lex Robinson: While Morgy springs back up, Andrew Hurley goes to jab the broken bat into Stevie Swing's stomach; but again, Stevie moves out of the way. Instead, Andrew narrowly misses stabbing a fan at ringside, who is saved only because Stevie Swing latches onto Hurley's arm and chops it.
Thanks to Stevie striking Andrew Hurley, the bat is dropped, smashing it into splinters. In the meantime, Morgana and Jay stand back up and begin striking at each other again. This time, Jay ducks beneath a punch from Morgy, allowing her to spin around and then hold her up into a back-suplex position.
Steve Hebert: Morgy with a motherfucking backflip...
Lex Robinson: Just as Declan Turner forces Chris Carson into the ring post, following that up with a running high-knee!
Steve Hebert: Goddamn, "The Creep" gets sandwiched... or graped. That's what he gets for teaming with his longtime nemesis, Morgana.
Lex Robinson: Morgana dropkicks Jay in the back, sending her against the ropes. Having Jay tied-up there, Morgana connects with some kicks to the stomach. She goes to whip Jay into the opposite set of ropes; but before the whipping can begin, the whip becomes reversed. Alternatively, Jay sends Morgana into the ropes, ducks down and attempts a backdrop.
Steve Hebert: That venomous wench, Morgy, is able to go back-to-back and backflip over the attempt, though. Goddamnit, she escapes everything. Does she have a lucky charm up her cunt or something?
Lex Robinson: Turning around, Jay goes to clothesline Morgy, but this is also ducked. Again, Morgana strikes with another dropkick to the back of Jay; this time sending her into the corner, where she kisses the turnbuckle pads.
Steve Hebert: Figuratively, of course.
Lex Robinson: Of course.
On the floor, Declan Turner is punching Chris Carson in the face, even hitting him with a snap-suplex on the floor. After stomping him a few times, Declan looks under the ring, where he pulls out two tables -- one with barbed-wire wrapped around it, the other without.
Steve Hebert: Oh Jesus, Declan's bringing out the artillery, already.
Lex Robinson: Just as Stevie Swing charges at Andrew Hurley, too. However, Hurley notices her advancement... and goes to throw her into the air, only to have Stevie safely land on her feet... on the ring apron!
Steve Hebert: This happens adjacent to Jay, too; as she leans against the corner. Upon seeing this, Jay slaps Stevie across the face, tilting her around. That a girl, Jay.
Lex Robinson: That actually works out wonderfully for Stevie! The slap causes her to whirl around and then leap through the air, where she lands on Andrew Hurley's shoulders, giving her a hurricanrana off the apron!
Steve Hebert: Ack... Jay better watch out now, too...
Lex Robinson: As she turns around, she comes face-to-face with Morgana... well, kind of. Morgana springs across the ring, does a cartwheel and then a handspring, which allows her to pop up and try for a handspring-elbow...
Steve Hebert: ...only to have Jay charge out of the corner, delivering a vigorous high-knee to the back of a springing Morgana! Jay's knee catches Morgana directly in the spine and knocks her out of the ring! Good! The Impulse Champ just caught the Television Champ by complete surprise!
Lex Robinson: Jay is quick to follow her out, too. This, of course, enables Declan, who had setup the normal table, to roll "The Creep" inside. Standing on the side of the apron, Declan goes to lift Chris Carson up, apparently trying to suplex him from inside of the ring -- to the outside and through that table.
Steve Hebert: "The Creep" hooks onto the middle rope, though. He's balancing himself out.
Lex Robinson: You're right! "The Creep" is fighting back!
Upon seeing this, Andrew Hurley, who has shrugged Stevie Swing off, after kicking her in the gut and then DDTing her on the floor, rolls inside, with a handful of glass shards. Stalking behind Chris Carson, Andrew goes to him across the back, trying to stop his resurgence. However, before Andrew can strike, Stevie Swing hops onto the apron, uses the top rope as a springboard, and flies through the air, striking with a springboard-dropkick Hurley, halting his advances!
Lex Robinson: Stevie Swing stops Andrew Hurley from attacking "The Creep"!
Steve Hebert: Pffft.
LeX Robinson: "The Creep" and Declan remain on the apron, struggling for power; while Stevie and Andrew Hurley get to their feet. They both run at each other, with Stevie ducking beneath a running-clothesline from Hurley, who then proceeds towards the next set of ropes.
Steve Hebert: Hurley and Stevie charge at each other, with Hurley connecting with a spinning-wheel kick! He promptly rises, lifting Stevie Swing back up, only to drop her back down with a Death Valley Driver!
Lex Robinson: He's actually going for a pinfall, too!
The referee makes the count...
...1...2...
Lex Robinson: From outside of the ring, Morgana shoves Jay aside, springs off the top rope, soars through the air and connects with a double-stomp to the back of Andrew Hurley's skull, stopping the count!
Steve Hebert: Well, fuck me sideways.
Lex Robinson: Just then, Chris Carson goes to suplex Declan Turner back into the ring, only to have Declan fight that off with an elbow to "The Creep"'s skull! This is nonstop action!
Declan, using his own momentum, quickly hooks onto Chris Carson's neck and then suplexes him from the apron -- all the way to the outside, where "The Creep" smashes through the wooden table that had been setup!
Steve Hebert: And it's full of nonstop violence!
Lex Robinson: "The Creep" was just blasted through that wooden table, smashing it into smithereens.
Steve Hebert: Jay is rolling inside, too. This means there's currently a 3-2 advantage for The Collective, who now hover around Morgana and Stevie Swing. Those are good odds to me!
Lex Robinson: On top of that, what is Declan Turner pulling out of his pants?
Steve Hebert: Lex, you dirty-minded fuckface.
Lex Robinson: No, look. It's a chain!
Steve Hebert: Oh boy, we're getting kinky here.
As Morgana and Stevie rise to their feet, they soon realize their predicament -- they're outnumbered, with their partnered currently unconscious on the floor. Despite these odds, or lack thereof, they put up quite a fight.
Steve Hebert: Those cunts are throwing fists at The Collective members! Are they nuts? Their best bet is to get the hell out of there. Pump those slots full of some coins... get in a hand of poker. Their chances of winning there and much more prevalent than winning here.
Lex Robinson: Eh, gambling doesn't mean shit here. Morgy and Stevie go back-to-back... and they begin firing with punches, kicks and chops! Oddly enough, they must just fight their way out of this!
Steve Hebert: Like fuck.
Lex Robinson: Stevie and Morgy lock arms... Stevie propels Morgy into the air, allowing her to walk through the air, kicking Jay, Andrew Hurley and Declan in the chest, knocking them back! Once that's done, The Collective regain their thoughts and try for another attack...
Steve Hebert: Oh God, it's like motherfucking ninjas in there.
Lex Robinson: This time, Morgy propels Stevie Swing into the air, giving her the chance to whirl around, striking the trio with even more kicks! With Morgy's arm interlocked with Stevie's left arm, both women cycle around and use the momentum to leap into the air, kicking both Andrew Hurley and Jay, knocking them into oppsosite corners!
Steve Hebert: Jesus, this is awful. Luckily, Declan Turner is able to avoid this retarded attack, giving him the chance to motion towards Morgana and bash her skull in with the chain that's wrapped around his fist! Poof! That drops her to the ground! In return, Stevie Swing tries to retaliate, but she runs directly into a kick to the gut, followed by a quick right-hand uppercut from Declan!
Lex Robinson: Andrew Hurley is back into the mix of things, as well. He moves toward Morgana, grabs her pink hair and then lifts her to her feet. Andrew whips her into the ropes and catches her upon the rebound with a tilt-a-whirl reverse-powerbomb, dropping her stomach-first across the broken glass shards that lay in the ring!
Trying to shrug off the damage done, Jay motions to Declan Turner, who lifts Stevie up and positions her on his shoulders. As this occurs, Jay steps to the outside, watching as Declan rises Stevie into the air.
Steve Hebert: Oh, man. If they can get away with this on Stevie Swing, things may already be over!
Lex Robinson: Jay goes to spring off the ropes...
Before Jay can spring off, a hand reaches up, grabs onto her ankles and drops her to the floor. That hand, of course, belonging to a revived Chris Carson.
Lex Robinson: Chris Carson, out of nowhere, reaches up and yanks Jay down!
Steve Hebert: Ouch.
Lex Robinson: Pulling her down to the floor, he unleashes some punches to her face; while Stevie Swing gives some punches of her own onto Declan's skull!
Steve Hebert: Stevie Swing goes for a Victory Roll...
Lex Robinson: Stevie has Declan all rolled-up!
The referee makes the count...
...1...
Lex Robinson: One...!
...2...
Lex Robinson: Two...!
Steve Hebert: Oh god no.
...
Steve Hebert: Yes! Andrew Hurley moves in and delivers a lethal kick to Stevie Swing's face, stopping the count! Thank fucking Jesus.
Lex Robinson: Throwing Stevie Swing into the corner with reckless abandon, Andrew Hurley follows in, where he strikes Stevie with some back-elbows. Placing Stevie on his shoulders, Andrew places her in a seated-position on the top rope, where he climbs up alongside her, giving her some punches.
Steve Hebert: That dirty, weird, transsexual bitch is fighting back, though. She strikes with some slaps and chops to Andrew's chest, knocking him down a turnbuckle pad.
Lex Robinson: This allows for Morgana to stand to her feet behind Andrew Hurley.
Steve Hebert: Uh oh. Oh no, Morgana is charging in... she's up to no good!
Lex Robinson: However, halfway across the ring, she blindly runs directly into a spear from Declan Turner, which forces her to do a complete 360 degree spin, almost knocking her out of her boots! Declan makes the cover.
Again, the referee counts...
Lex Robinson: Here we go...
...1...2...
Steve Hebert: Come on...!
However. upon seeing this happen, Stevie Swing rapidly strikes Andrew Hurley with some kneelifts, complete dizzying him. With a great effort, Stevie pushes Andrew off the top turnbuckle, sending him back-splashing onto Declan Turner, halting the count!
Lex Robinson: Stevie Swing pushes Andrew Hurley off the top rope, only to have him crash down onto Declan!
Steve Hebert: Well shit, that wasn't supposed to happen!
Lex Robinson: It happened.
As the pinfall and break is made, the cameras shift to the outside, where Jay and Chris Carson are brawling on the floor -- and into the audience.
Lex Robinson: "The Creep" and Jay are brawling amongst the crowd... and into the slot machines. Over here, "The Creep" blasts Jay's face off a slot machine, drops her down to the ground and steps back, wishing to measure her up. Remember, it wasn't too long ago that Jay aided in the breaking of Chris Carson's jaw by smashing a golf club against his face.
Steve Hebert: Considering her position, she better be wishing she had to kill him.
Lex Robinson: Chris Carson picks up a wooden stool... and he heaves it towards Jay, who is leaning against the slot machine. Aware of this dangerous flying object, she rolls out of the way, forcing the stool to splinter against the slot machine!
Steve Hebert: She's crawling away, trying to get back to the ringside area, where Stevie Swing leaps through the air, landing on both Declan and Andrew Hurley with a flying senton bomb!
Lex Robinson: This is complete chaos all around us!
Steve Hebert: Jesus, you're telling me. I can barely keep up with everything.
On her hands and knees, Jay tries to get back to the ring, but it's to no avail. Chris Carson stalks over her, grabbing a handful of her dark hair. He is about to club her in the head with his own fist and forearm, when suddenly, Jay reaches forward, grabs a steel chair and uses it to the jab into "The Creep"'s ribcage, forcing him over into a huddled position!
Steve Hebert: Hah! Take that, "Creep". I know he hates these whores -- and I don't blame him -- but sometimes you just gotta take one.
Up to her feet, with the chair in hand, Jay turns around and crowns Chris Carson across the skull with the chair! Thanks to this, blood begins trickling down his forehead, while Jay heads back to the ringside area, with the chair still in hand.
Lex Robinson: Here comes Jay!
Steve Hebert: Finally.
Lex Robinson: In the ring, Morgana and Stevie Swing have taken advantage of things; but even so, Jay wastes much time in re-entering the ring. Instead of instantly sliding back in to save them, she picks up several more chairs and flings them back into the ring.
Steve Hebert: Get in the ring, you dumb whore!
Lex Robinson: Continue to rummage around the ring, Jay picks up another chair and is about to slide back inside with it, stopping only to watch as Morgana climbs to the top turnbuckle. Leaping off like a missile, Morgana soars through the air, landing atop Andrew Hurley with a twisting Shooting Star Press!
Steve Hebert: Ugh.
Lex Robinson: She gets up, walks into the corner and climbs up once again. This time, however; she is unaware of Jay flinging a steel chair toward her head!
Steve Hebert: Haha, yes! Good girl!
Lex Robinson: Funny, you were only calling her a dumb whore a few minutes ago.
Steve Hebert: Minds change; and people change, Lex.
The cracking of the steel chair forces Morgana to drop off the top rope, sending her falling all the way to the floor!
Lex Robinson: Declan Turner, who uses the middle rope to help him stand, sees one of the chairs thrown into the ring by Jay, with devious thoughts instantly running through his mind. Seeing Stevie Swing preoccupied with Jay, who is clutching onto Stevie's arm, as she rises onto the ring apron, Declan races forward, about to bash the chair against the back of Stevie's head...!
Steve Hebert: Wait, no...!
Lex Robinson: Just in time, Stevie realizes this and quickly pulls away from Jay, resulting in Declan smashing the chair off Jay's skull, knocking her out to the floor, where she lands with a thud next to the barbed-wire wrapped table!
Steve Hebert: It's not like Declan cares. He looks down at Jay, who has collapsed to the floor, smirking. He turns around... only to have Stevie Swing heave a chairshot at him!
Lex Robinson: Declan catches the chair... but Stevie jumps up and connects with a dropkick to the steel chair, smashing it against Declan's skull, knocking him to the outside, where he falls next to Jay! How about that?!
Steve Hebert: Fucking terrible.
Still holding the chair in her hands, Stevie Swing looks down, watching both Jay and Declan Turner slowly rise to their feet, grumbling at each other. Noticing that their attention is elsewhere, Stevie bounces off the farthest set of ropes and storms forward, readying to leap over the top rope.
Steve Hebert: What is this Jewish cunt up to?!
Lex Robinson: Declan and Jay better watch out...!
Steve Hebert: That crazy fucking cunt leaps over the top rope with the chair, using it for assistance in a suicide dive!
Declan, aware of the dangerous situation, quickly gets grabs onto Jay and pulls her in front of him! As a result, Stevie Swing smashes down onto Jay with her body and chair; and they both clatter to the floor, amidst the twisted carnage and chaos! Declan Turner, in the meantime, sneakily slides back into the ring.
Lex Robinson: Declan Turner back in the ring. He notices Morgy make a swing at him, allowing him to clutch onto her arm and then exploder suplex her, sending her flying overhead, dropping her onto the glass shards, again!
Steve Hebert: That's twice now she has landed on that glass, too. Think she'll be removing glass shards out of her cunt?
Lex Robinson: Stop it, please.
Steve Hebert: I'm just asking!
Lex Robinson: Declan looks at Andrew Hurley, who is getting to his feet, having his mouth busted open. Right away, Declan points to Hurley and then points out at Stevie, who is just now getting to his feet, along with Jay.
Steve Hebert: He's instructing Andrew Hurley to dive out onto her! ...Or them. He even wants Andrew Hurley to jump on Jay!
Lex Robinson: And like the lost little puppy he is, Andrew Hurley follows the orders. How sickening. Hurley backs into the opposite set of ropes, dashes forward, and... he recklessly heaves himself over the top rope, crashing down on Stevie Swing; and his own partner, Jay!
Steve Hebert: It's like bowling out there!
Lex Robinson: Before anything else can be done, Morgana plucks some glass out of her backside, stands to her feet and snarls at Declan, who is chuckling at the outside occurences. Looking displeased, Morgana charges at Declan from behind... jumps onto his shoulders... and leaps through the air, flying to the outside, bringing Jay, Andrew Hurley and Stevie Swing down with a corkscrew 630 degree plancha to the outside! Holy shit!
Steve Hebert: Off Declan Turner's shoulders, no less!
Standing still, shocked at what just occured, Declan has no idea how to react. A sudden surge of ideas pour through his mind, with him deciding the best possible course of action: to do a dive of his own.
Steve Hebert: And now it's Declan's turn to jump. I mean... hell, why not?
Grabbing onto the top rope, Declan prepares to slingshot plancha himself onto everyone below. Once flinging himself over the top rope, everyone gets their hands up, expecting the worst. However, at the last second, Declan changes direction and lands on the side of the apron, seeing everyone release a sigh of relief.
Steve Hebert: And he tricks everyone!
Lex Robinson: I gotta give it to Declan. That was a nice fake-out.
Steve Hebert: Wait... Declan with a vicious kick to Stevie Swing's head! He then turns back around and moonsaults off the apron, catching everyone by surprise! As expected, everyone goes toppling to the ground!
Lex Robinson: This is insane! There are bodies flying everywhere and--...
Steve Hebert: What the fuck? Here comes Chris Carson.
Lex Robinson: Chris Carson has finally returned to the ringside area, after having Jay smash a chair off his skull, splitting him wide open. With gusto, he slides into the ring, walks to the other side of the apron and... no way.
Steve Hebert: Oh God, he's climbing to the top turnbuckle.
Lex Robinson: "The Creep" is climbing to the top turnbuckle. He's preparing to launch himself. This is insane.
True to words, Chris Carson leaps off the top rope, catching everyone below, sans Jay, who is able to escape just in time, with a plancha off the top rope!
Lex Robinson: Yup, this is definitely Sin Wrestling's version of bowling! Everyone is down once again!
Steve Hebert: Except for Jay! She snuck out the backdoor!
Lex Robinson: Instead, she reaches into the pile of people, grabs Morgana by her pink hair and lifts her up. Striking her with a spinning back-fist, Jay soon rolls Morgy back inside, climbs onto the apron and then slingshot legdrops herself back into the ring, landing her leg stiffly across Morgana's neck!
Steve Hebert: Yes! Cripple her, Jay! I, for one, would be glad to see that pink-haired skank wheeled around 24/7. I mean, she's fucking filthy. Have you read the gossip sites? Do you know what that woman is up to in her spare time?! It's fucking hot... but sick. Fucking filthy, dirty, sexy and hot... but fucking disgusting!
Lex Robinson: You're a very strange man, Steve Hebert.
Steve Hebert: Sometimes I hate myself.
Lex Robinson: We know. We all know.
Opting not to cover Morgy, Jay instead straddles her.
Steve Hebert: Well, now, I'm erect.
Lex Robinson: Jay begins delivering blow-after-blow to Morgy's face, striking her with various punches and forearms!
Steve Hebert: I'm about to blow!
Lex Robinson: Stop!
Before she can do any real damage, Morgana easily tosses the rookie to the side and rises to her feet. Jay uses the bottom rope and help her stand and she sizes up Morgana from across the ring.
Steve Hebert: Kick her in the cunt!
Lex Robinson: The two women take their time circling the ring. They lock up at the center, and Morgana delivers a hard knee to Jay's abdomen, doubling her over, resulting in a small gurgle of blood to spill out of Jay's maw.
Steve Hebert: ...Her maw? It's her mouth, not her cunt, Lex.
Lex Robinson: Maw is mouth.
Steve Hebert: ...Oh.
Lex Robinson: Eh, anyhow... sensing an opening, Morgana begins striking with even more knees to Jay's abdomen, which knocks her down to one knee, allowing for Morgy to grab her hair and then whip her into the ropes. On her way back, Jay ducks underneath a leap-frog from Morgy, which sends Jay proceeding into the next set of ropes...
Steve Hebert: Morgana jumps up, again, trying for another leap-frog attempt. However, this time, she lands on Jay's shoulders, swings herself around and then delivers a spinning-something or other.
Lex Robinson: A spinning-hurricanrana into a rollup!
The referee counts down Jay...
...1...2...
Lex Robinson: Only a two! Thanks to Andrew Hurley, who slides inside, grabs Morgana by the hair and slings her off Jay!
Steve Hebert: Oh Jesus merciful, thank Christ. I don't think I can stomach another Morgana victory of any kind.
Grabbing a leftover chair, Andrew Hurley jabs the edge of it into Morgana's ribs, hunching her over. He goes to whip her into the ropes; but at the last second, the whip is reversed...
Lex Robinson: Andrew Hurley bounces off the ropes, only to run right into a drop-toe-hold from Morgana, dropping him face-first into the seat of the chair!
Steve Hebert: Goddamnit.
Lex Robinson: She pops right up, goes to the ropes, paying no mind to the brawling done on the outside with Declan Turner taking on both Stevie Swing and Chris Carson at the same time. Instead, she springboards off the top rope, flies through the air and connects with a flying double-stomp to the back of Andrew Hurley's head, squishing him face-first into the seat of the steel chair!
Steve Hebert: Christ. I think some of his brains just squished out of his ears.
Lex Robinson: Considering the height and the stomp, I wouldn't doubt it! Morgana nails a springboard moonsault onto Hurley and then hooks his leg...! This could be it!
...1...2...
Steve Hebert: Only a two! This time, it's Jay plucking Morgana off Andrew Hurley! What do you know? Jay is good for something, after all!
Lex Robinson: Jay plucks Morgana up to her feet and socks her with another spinning back-fist, levelling Morgy and knocking her back.
Steve Hebert: All this while Stevie Swing and Chris Carson are thrown into the first few rows by Declan Turner, sending a shockwave of chairs everywhere. Hell, they even knock over some dirty fans. That's the first human contact some of them have had in years, most likely.
Lex Robinson: In the meantime, inside of the ring, Andrew Hurley rolls to the outside, holding his head, while Jay delivers a mean kick to Morgana's stomach.
Steve Hebert: Looked like a vaginal kick, to me.
Lex Robinson: Either way, it was pretty close. This allows for Jay to bounce off the ropes and return with a dangerous scissors-kick to the back of Morgana's head and neck region!
Steve Hebert: On the outside, Declan picks Stevie Swing up... and forcefully hip tosses back towards the ringside area, nearly dropping him onto the barbed-wire table that stills remains on the outside. However, Declan is soon attacked from behind by a bloody Chris Carson, who catches him with a double-axehandle to the back of the neck.
Lex Robinson: Not only that, but "The Creep" then whips Declan towards a slot machine. With a resounding bang, Declan charges into the machine, completely toppling it over, knocking coins everywhere!
Steve Hebert: I'll be right back!
Lex Robinson: Jesus, sit down, Steve.
Steve Hebert: But all those coins! It's like motherfucking Mario World up in here.
Lex Robinson: If that's the case, then Jay is Bowser, as she's headbutting the hell out of Morgana right now! Over and over again, Jay bashes her skull off Morgana's nose, striking her in repeated fashion at least 20 times!
Steve Hebert: I hope the bitch's nose is broken.
Lex Robinson: From the flow of blood coming from her right nostil, it appears so!
Both Morgy and Jay collapse to the canvas, in a kneeling position, both girls dizzy from the headbutts. Blood continues to spill out of Jay's mouth, while Morgy's right nostril trickles some more blood down onto the canvas.
Steve Hebert: "The Creep" picks up a tray from a nearby waitress...
Lex Robinson: Bam! He slams that tray down across Declan Turner's skull!
Steve Hebert: The same Declan Turner who is currently rolling around in money. It's just like in real life. Declan is freakin' loaded, Lex.
Lex Robinson: I'm sure. And I'm equally sure he's glad to tell everyone about that fact.
Steve Hebert: It's trues.
Over and over, Chris Carson bashes the tray off Declan's skull until it's left a crumpled mess. He goes to give one more strike with the mangled tray; but before he can strike, Declan wisely connects with a simple, but effective, boot to the crotch. This buckles Chris Carson over, enabling Declan to rise to his feet, latch onto "The Creep" with a front-facelock, hoist him up and then drive him headfirst onto the slot machine with a frenetic brainbuster!
Steve Hebert: Jesus! I think Declan may have smashed Chris Carson's head through that friggin' machine!
Stumbling to his feet, a dazed Declan Turner wobbles around the casino area. Unbeknownst to him, a chair-wielding Stevie Swing is about to strike...
Steve Hebert: Oh shit, Declan... watch out...
But then again, perhaps he is aware of this fact...
Lex Robinson: Declan Turner ducks beneath a swinging chairshot from Stevie Swing! In retaliation, Declan clings onto Stevie from behind, holding her with a cobra-clutch. Seconds later, he has Stevie Swing released overhead with a release cobra-clutch suplex, dropping her directly on the top of her skull!
Steve Hebert: The old Jewish dyke is dead. It's official.
Lex Robinson: Picking up a wooden stool, Declan Turner holds it above his head, about to smash it down across Stevie Swing's face. A mere second away from slamming it down, Declan is attacked by a random fan!
Steve Hebert: What the fuck? Security!
Lex Robinson: This fan pushes Declan aside and starts punching and striking him with closed-fists. This fan is... this fan... is... Chris Staggs! What the hell?!
Steve Hebert: Oh Jesus. I should have known.
Wearing a "Stevie Swing is my Idol" t-shirt, Chris Staggs pounds away at Declan Turner's face, thus saving Stevie Swing from having the stool become lodged in her face. Taken aback, Declan Turner can barely protect himself from the strikes that swat into his face, forcing him to drop the chair and take refuge behind a Poker table.
Steve Hebert: Somebody get that moron out of here!
Lex Robinson: Chris Staggs picks up some Poker Chips... and becomes throwing them at Declan, as if they are ninja stars! Luckily, Declan is able to dodge each one.
Steve Hebert: This is ridiculous.
Lex Robinson: Grabbing onto the Poker Table, Declan lifts it up, shielding himself from Chris Staggs and his Poker weaponry!
In due time, security arrives on the scene, forcing them to apprehend Chris Staggs and drag him away, while shouts of "You can do it, Stevie!" and "Let Stevie go!" can he heard wailing from him.
Steve Hebert: Finally, get that clueless, retarded shithead out of here. My god almighty.
Lex Robinson: He's just trying to help his friend!
Steve Hebert: Chris Staggs probably doesn't even realize Stevie Swing is actually a female.
Lex Robinson: It's loveable in a... drooling on yourself and shitting your pants kind of way.
Waving goodbye to Chris Staggs, Declan Turner places the Poker table back down and lifts Stevie up to her feet. After drilling her in the chin with an elbow, he kicks her in the gut and gives her a snap-powerbomb through the poker table, splitting it into two pieces!
Lex Robinson: Declan forces Stevie Swing through that green poker table! Holy cowpants.
Steve Hebert: ...Cowpants?
Lex Robinson: You heard me.
Stomping on Stevie, Declan begins to walk back to the ringside area, albeit a little shaked up after his altercation with Chris Staggs, who tried to help Stevie Swing.
Lex Robinson: Declan, who is partially bloodied, perhaps having the wound from his previous cage match with Chris Carson opened up, walks solemnly back to the ringside area, where he witnesses Andrew Hurley remove a second glass bat from underneath the ring!
Steve Hebert: Is there a glass bat storage down there or something? I want to know!
Lex Robinson: Sliding into the ring, with the bat in hand, Andrew Hurley hovers behind Morgana, who is faintly rising to her feet. Thinking he has the perfect timing, Andrew swings the bat forward, hoping to shatter it across the back of Morgana's skull...
Steve Hebert: But the cunt ducks out of the way!
Lex Robinson: Instead, Andrew Hurley blasts the glass bat across Jay's face, sending blood and broken glass everywhere!
Steve Hebert: Dear God, that's disgusting! She collapses to the ground, holding her broken face, landing in a pile of glass shards, nonetheless!
Looking displeased about hitting Jay, rather than emotionally upset, Andrew Hurley turns around and tries to jab the bat into Morgana's stomach. Alas, she has other plans.
Lex Robinson: Morgana grabs onto Andrew Hurley's neck and goes for a Fata Morgana!
Steve Hebert: Oh god... she hits it.
Lex Robinson: Yes! She makes the cover!
The referee begins the count amidst the shards of glass that are in the ring...
...1...2...
Lex Robinson: One... two...
Steve Hebert: No three! No three!
Lex Robinson: At the count of two, Declan Turner races towards the ring, reaches inside, grabs onto Morgana's ankles and pulls her out of the ring, stopping the count, in the process!
Steve Hebert: That was way too close. Jesus, I think my heart stopped.
Lex Robinson: Out here on the floor, Declan batters Morgy's face off the ring apron, smashing her possibly broken nose off the outer-portion of the ring. From here, he delivers a flurry of rapid-fire chops to her chest and then whips her into the ring steps.
Steve Hebert: He's pulling another table out from underneath the ring, too, which proves my theory that there is a working factory down there.
Lex Robinson: Declan sets the table up and places Morgy on it. He hollers out to Andrew Hurley, who stumbles into a corner and begins to ascend to the top turnbuckle.
Steve Hebert: Andrew Hurley is going to dive out onto Morgana and drive her completely through that goddamn thing. Do it. For the love of God, do it.
Lex Robinson: Hurley goes to lanch himself...
Steve Hebert: But "The Creep" has slinked back into the ring! He has a firm grip of Andrew Hurley's motherfucking foot, disabling him from leaping off. Get away from him, "Creep". Jesus!
Enraged, Andrew Hurley goes to step down, but Chris Carson takes a page out of Declan Turner's playbook -- via a lowblow to Andrew Hurley. From here, Chris Carson shoves Hurley over the top rope, sending him crashing into the floor, landing harshly on his back!
Steve Hebert: Did you hear that smack?! That was no "thud"! That was a goddamn blast!
Lex Robinson: Andrew Hurley's back connects with pure solid! There's no give there, folks. Having seen this, Declan Turner hops up onto the apron and grabs onto "The Creep", repeating a scene from earlier in the match. After striking Chris Carson in the gut with his knee, Declan tries to suplex him off the apron, yet again!
Steve Hebert: That old kook is fighting back, though. Having slugged Declan in the face with several fists, Chris Carson steps out onto the side of the apron, where he begins blasting some fists into the side of the World Champ's skull!
Lex Robinson: The two men exchange blows...
Steve Hebert: This is not gay porn, Lex!
Lex Robinson: I know that! As they fight on the apron, Jay makes her way over, blood pouring down her face and into her mouth. She claws her nails into "The Creep"'s neck, trying to draw blood, but he elbows her in the face, fighting both Declan and Jay off!
Steve Hebert: Oh boy, she's gonna be pissed.
Holding her nose, Jay steps back, but then winds forward, about to hit Chris Carson with a leaping-enziguiri. Alternatively, before she can leap in the air, Stevie Swing slides back into the ring, holding a bag of coins in her hand. Nickels, quarters and dimes go flying everywhere as Stevie charges towards Jay, smacking the coins off her head, dropping her down to the canvas!
Steve Hebert: ...Did the Jew just hit Jay with money?
Lex Robinson: Yep! Coins are everywhere.
Steve Hebert: ...Are you sure I can't claim any of that money?
Lex Robinson: I'm sure.
Steve Hebert: Goddamnit.
Lex Robinson: Morgana has slid off the table that Declan positioned her on. Instead, she slides it towards the ring apron, where Chris Carson and Declan Turner continue to bash each other's brains in.
Steve Hebert: Declan should have taken notes from Augustus Cross and stapled her to that shitty table.
Lex Robinson: Kicking Declan in the gut, "The Creep" standing-headscissors him, hoists him upside-down and leaps off the apron, piledrivering him through the table!
Steve Hebert: Oh Jesus.
Lex Robinson: Just as the two go through the table, an ailing Andrew Hurley slides into the ring, nailing Stevie Swing from behind with a reverse-DDT onto the pool of glass. Seeing this, Morgy rolls inside, trying to catch Hurley off-guard, only to walk into a punch from Hurley...
Steve Hebert: A punch to the cunt!
Lex Robinson: Uhm... well, yeah.
Steve Hebert: Furthermore, Andrew Hurley opens up Morgana's wrestling tights and pours some glass inside. I think I'm going to like this.
Lex Robinson: Hang in there, Steve.
Clenching his right hand into a fist, Andrew Hurley punches Morgana in the tits and then kicksher in the crotch.
Steve Hebert: Yes! A glassy punch to the titbags and a glassy kick to the cunt! Just how I like it.
Lex Robinson: Oh my God... Morgana falls to the mat, clutching her... her... her private parts. Andrew Hurley shows no remorse, though, as he menacingly kicks her in the head, bowling her over.
Steve Hebert: She's going to need a doctor to remove that glass from her cunt. Bank on it. And rumors state that I have a Ph.D. in being a vagina-ologist. Quite frankly, I've gotta agree with said rumors.
Lex Robinson: Shut up, dirtbag.
Steve Hebert: K.
Having piledrivered Declan through a table on the outside, Chris Carson rolls into the ring, going face-to-face with Andrew Hurley, who doesn't back down from "The Creep"'s advances. Together, the duo repeatedly strike each other with punches and forearms, with "The Creep" actually getting the upperhand. However, once Hurley starts throwing some kicks, it's enough to back Chris Carson off, allowing for Hurley to follow up with a running-STO, dropping him down to the ground!
Lex Robinson: STO by Andrew Hurley!
Steve Hebert: It gets the job done; and it backs "The Creep" the fuck off him. In fact, Hurley grabs a chair that had already been in the ring, sets it up parallel to the corner and forces Chris Carson to take a seat on it.
Lex Robinson: Some punches are thrown from Hurley, striking "The Creep" in the temple.
Steve Hebert: Those are used to keep the bastard in place, Lex.
Lex Robinson: That didn't work out so well for Declan with Morgana.
Steve Hebert: You think you're so smart, don't you?
Slowly but surely, Andrew Hurley climbs to the top turnbuckle, watching as Chris Carson remains on the chair. Once he reaches the top rope, he decides to somersault off... only to have Chris Carson roll to the side; and thus, Andrew Hurley smashes through the chair, breaking it apart!
Lex Robinson: I told you s--...
Steve Hebert: Don't even start.
Lex Robinson: At just the right time, Chris Carson moves out of the way and that throws an epic amount of fail into Andrew Hurley's face... and back!
Steve Hebert: Literally everyone is out cold. Declan is on the floor; the other 5 are in the ring, barely moving. This is insanity.
Lex Robinson: Blood is pouring from pretty much everyone. By the time the Sin Trophy match happens, we'll probably have people slipping on the blood and falling to the floor.
Steve Hebert: I'd pay to see that happen.
Lex Robinson: Of course you would.
The first competitor to start moving is Declan, who remains on the floor, using the ring steps to help him up, with a mixture of sweat and blood pouring down his brow. Circling the ring, he notices that everyone else is still incapacitated, and then he eyes the barbed-wire table, sending a signal of violence straight to his brain.
Lex Robinson: Declan Turner is now moving over to the barbed-wire table.
Steve Hebert: It's about time he used it. I've been waiting about 10 years for it to come into play.
Lex Robinson: I see.
Steve Hebert: He firmly sets it up, standing it on the outside, next to the ring. I think we might have a death upcoming.
Lex Robinson: You think?
Steve Hebert: I hope.
Lex Robinson: In any event, Declan finishes setting the table up and rolls inside, where everyone else still remains lifeless. He walks over to Stevie Swing, raises her arm and lets it droop back down.
Steve Hebert: Kick!
Lex Robinson: He then kicks and stomps her, only to turn to Chris Carson, whose face is now awash in blood. Lifting his arm up, he steps back and watches as "The Creep"s arm droops down, as well.
Steve Hebert: A kick and a stomp for "The Creep", as well!
Lex Robinson: Next, he goes to Morgy. Lifting her arm up, he steps back...
Steve Hebert: Her arm goes down, as well. See? They're all dead. Of course, Morgy gets kicked and stomped for good measure, too!
Stepping back, he looks down at Jay and turns his nose up at her, not offering to help her up, whatsoever. Instead, he turns to Andrew Hurley, aides him to his feet and begins conversing with him. Together, they turn toward Stevie Swing, who is slowly rising to a kneeling position, very dazed from the happenings of the match.
Steve Hebert: Stevie Swing is cornered, as Declan and Andrew move in on him... or her... or whatever Stevie Swing is this week.
Lex Robinson: Like a gang, Andrew Hurley and Declan Turner beat her in the corner, keeping her grounded with fists, stomps and Hurley even uses his right foot to choke her down. Turning away from the beatdown, Declan picks up another chair that had been thrown in by Jay.
Steve Hebert: Who would have thought her throwing random chairs into the ring would be such a glorious thing?
Once the chair is opened up, Declan motions towards Andrew Hurley, who heeds Declan's words and hoists Stevie up. Once she's on her feet, Declan races off the opposite set of ropes, bounces back and uses the chair to propel himself into the air; all while Andrew Hurley quickly lifts Stevie up into a suplex position...
Lex Robinson: Declan Turner leaps off the steel chair, flying towards Stevie with a spear! In one full swoop, Declan and Stevie Swing go flying over the top rope, with Declan hitting the spear in mid-air on Stevie!
Steve Hebert: And they go smashing through the barbed-wire table that had been setup on the outside! Holy fucking shit!
Lex Robinson: How... my god! They still have to wrestle in the Battle Royal!
Steve Hebert: At the rate things are going, we'll have to stretcher them out.
' Morgana, who has bloodstains on her top and bottom, rubs some of the blood trickling out of her nose to the side, and gets to her feet. The first person she eyes is Andrew Hurley, who has a sly grin on his face.
Lex Robinson: Holy shit, Morgana is up; and she's enraged! She charges toward Andrew Hurley... who then connects with a stiff superkick to her jaw!
Steve Hebert: Grabbing two chairs, Hurley sets them up back-to-back, with the back of the chairs pressing against each other. Turning around, he grabs Morgana and hoists her up onto his shoulders, walks toward the back-to-back chairs... and Death Valley Drivers her!
Lex Robinson: He uses the edge of the back portion of the chairs to drop her across! It's like jabbing two knives into her spine!
Steve Hebert: Yes, well, I was just about to get to that. Thanks to Andrew Hurley, Morgana lays bent backwards across the top of the chairs, in a way that no normal human can possibly enjoy. He's even leaving her laying there, immobile, unable to take herself out of this backbreaking position. Jesus, it's like something out of the movie The Exorcist.
Walking around the ring, Andrew Hurley kicks Chris Carson in the face, making sure he stays out of his business. Seconds later, Andrew is climbing to the top turnbuckle, where he is measuring Morgana up, as she lays motionless across the tips of the chairs.
Lex Robinson: Oh no, what's he up to?
Steve Hebert: He's going to fucking cripple her. I knew it! Someone get a wheelchair!
Lex Robison: The fans are aghast... this can't happen.
Before long, Andrew Hurley jumps off the top turnbuckle with a senton bomb, giving a back-splash onto Morgana's chest, applying even more pressure to the chair seats that dig into her back. Ultimately, the chairs give way beneath the weight that comes crashing down on them, resulting in the chairs buckling apart, with Andrew Hurley crashlanding on top of Morgana!
Lex Robinson: Jesus no!
Steve Hebert: Jesus yes! Andrew Hurley just broke Morgana's back!
Lex Robinson: He makes the cover, as he lays across her...!
Steve Hebert: Good. Count, referee, count. Count like you've never counted before!
As he leans back onto Morgy, Andrew Hurley hooks a leg...
...1...
Lex Robinson: One...!
...2...
Lex Robinson: Two...
Steve Hebert: Yes, yes... this is it!
...
Lex Robinson: No! Beofre the three is made, Chris Carson rolls over and pulls Andrew Hurley off Morgana!
Steve Hebert: What the shit?!
Lex Robinson: If you had told me 3 months ago that Chris Carson would stop Morgana from getting pinned, I would call you crazy. But here we are... and it just happened!
Steve Hebert: This is all your fault!
Lex Robinson: What the...?
"The Creep", who is slowly wearing down, lifts Andrew Hurley up to his feet and blasts him with a punch and a forearm. Pulling him near, he goes to lift Hurley up for "The C.C. Bomb", but Hurley shifts his weight, stopping the attempt from being made.
Steve Hebert: Good! Ground yourself, Hurley...
Lex Robinson: "The Creep" goes to lift him again... and gets him up... only to have Andrew Hurley slip out behind him! In an instant, "The Creep" turns around, only to walk into a back-elbow. Grabbing Chris Carson's arm, Hurley goes to whip him into the ropes... but the whip is reversed! Instead, Chris Carson pulls Andrew Hurley in, knees him in the gut and then hits him with "The C.C. Crash"!
Steve Hebert: Well, fuck. That's not good!
Lex Robison: Not for the team of Andrew Hurley, Jay and Declan Turner...
Andrew Hurley rolls into the corner, while Jay gets to her feet, noticing Chris Carson on his knees. Before he has a chance to respond, Jay runs up to him, grabs his head, drops back and then smashes both of her shins into his face!
Lex Robinson: Jay hits "The Creep" with a version of The Lungblower, except it's more centered around the face! Both Jay and Chris Carson pop back up, with "The Creep" holding his formerly wired jaw...
Steve Hebert: Great fucking idea! Go for that jaw! Why didn't I think of that?!
Lex Robinson: Like a tornado, she spins around and delivers a lethal chop to his shoulder. She then grabs onto his face and hits a jawbreaker! Popping right back up, Jay goes to deliver a Roundhouse Kick to Chris Carson's jaw... only to have him reach up and block the kick!
Steve Hebert: Oh, fuck me.
Lex Robinson: Catching her foot, he quickly spins her around, only to have her walk into a brutal chairshot from a semi-revitalized Morgy, who holds her back after delivering the shot.
Steve Hebert: That no-good bitch! Her back is supposed to be broken!
Seeing Andrew Hurley starting to rise, Chris Carson turns his attention away from Jay and onto Hurley. Dashing forward, Chris Carson extends his arm and hastily hits a furious lariat, which knocks Andrew Hurley on his back.
Lex Robinson: Andrew Hurley instantly pops back up... and "The Creep" charges at him, yet again! Using another clothesline, Chris Carson sends himself and Hurley over the top rope, where they go spilling out to the floor, hitting with a thunderous thud!
Steve Hebert: Bodies are everywhere, man. Christ's sake, both Stevie Swing and Declan Turner remain wrapped in that mangled barbed-wire table, neither of them having moved for minutes now. On the other side of the ring, we have Chris Carson and Andrew Hurley, who... no way.
Lex Robinson: Holy crap.
Steve Hebert: After recklessly landing on the floor, Andrew Hurley looks underneath the ring ad pulls out, you guessed it, another glass bat!
Lex Robinson: Maybe you're on to something, Steve.
Steve Hebert: Lex, I'm always right. For example, Chris Carson is going to have a stomach full of glass in just a second.
Charging at Hurley, "The Creep" tries to give Hurley his comeuppance, but Hurley swings his glass bat around and jabs it into "The Creep"'s gut!
Steve Hebert: Voila! See?!
Lex Robinson: Uh huh.
Steve Hebert: Next, I bet Chris Carson will have that bat shoved up his asshole, kind of like I wish would happen to you.
With Chris Carson hunched over in front of him, Andrew Hurley lifts the bat in the air and smashes it across "The Creep"'s back, sending glass shards spreading everywhere! Ironically, this doesn't faze Chris Carson too much, as he fights back, bloodied back and all.
Lex Robinson: You were wrong this time. "The Creep" is giving the fight to Andrew Hurley, who is now trying to jab that jagged edge of bat into "The Creep"'s face!
Steve Hebert: Do it! Do it, do it, do it! My god, do it! Skin him alive!
Lex Robinson: "The Creep" is holding Hurley's arm back, trying to save himself.
Steve Hebert: Listen, as long as one of these fuckers murders someone, I'll be happy.
Jay and Morgana remain in the ring, which is ironic, considering they were the first two that started things in the ring. Using the ropes to help her maintain a standing balance, Morgana rubs some blood out of her nose and steps towards Jay, who is in a kneeling position.
Lex Robinson: Morgana lifts Jay up, backs her into the ropes and delivers a chop across the chest. Despite the pain in her back, Morgana rushes into the opposite set of ropes, springs back and returns, trying to strike with the John Woo Kick. However, due to the back spasms, she is unable to deliver much strength behind the attack, resulting in Jay grabbing onto both of her legs and riding her down to the canvas!
Steve Hebert: Thank God. Jay even keeps hold of her legs, too; and begins dragging her across the glass, making sure the skin on Morgy's back grinds against the glass in the middle of the ring. That bitch's body is going to be sliced open; there's no doubt about it.
Lex Robinson: Rolling Morgy over onto her stomach, Jay bends down to one knee and uses her nails to claw into Morgy's back, wishing to draw even more blood.
Steve Hebert: This is so hot.
Lex Robinson: Jay grabs one of the broken chairs and uses its leg to dig into Morgy's back. Like a woman scorned, she holds the chair up and repeatedly bashes the leg of it into Morgy's back. She may be relatively new, but Jay knows what to do and to do it.
Steve Hebert: To be fair, jamming a chair leg into someone's back is probably a pretty well known method of offense. Just sayin'.
Lex Robinson: ...Uh, well, yeah. Either way, Jay removes the chair... and now begins stomping and wailing away on Morgana's back, while Chris Carson and Andrew Hurley fight into the casino!
Steve Hebert: "The Creep" whips Hurley towards a Poker table... only to have Hurley jump on it, turn around and then fly towards "The Creep", taking him down! These two continue their fight, rolling around, trying to bludgeon each other towards a stairs that leads to the upper balcony of the casino.
Lex Robinson: While all of that occurs, Stevie Swing and Declan Turner are finally regaining cosciousness after Declan speared Stevie in mid-air, sending them both through that barbed-wire table.
Steve Hebert: I'll be damned. You're right. You're pretty good at this, Lex.
Lex Robinson: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Steve Hebert: Almost as good as Declan is intelligent. You know what I say that? Because Declan is taking a strand of the barbed-wire and is tying it around Stevie's right arm. He rips off the end of it, drags her towards the ring post and then ties her to the post, like a fucking dog. That's right, Stevie Swing is a little bitch.
Lex Robinson: He even takes another strand of barbed-wire and begins whipping her with it! That definitely has to cause some lacerations.
When he looks inside the ring, Declan watches Jay beatdown Morgy, still giving her some dreaded stomps to the back. Feeling as if he should take over, a woozy Declan Turner rolls inside, shoves Jay to the side and grabs onto Morgy's hair, lifting her up to her feet.
Steve Hebert: That's right, Declan, just shove Jay aside. We need a real man to take over, now.
Lex Robinson: [slapping his face] Oh my.
Appearing distressed and aggravated, Jay goes to yank Declan back, only to have him grab both of Morgy's arm, trying to hold her in place for Jay to strike.
Lex Robinson: Declan is holding Morgana. He wants Jay to strike her...
Steve Hebert: That bitch better comply with his orders, too.
Lex Robinson: Bouncing off the ropes, Jay returns with a spinning back-fist... to Declan! Morgy is able to free herself and fall to the ground!
Steve Hebert: No! Goddamnit!
As Declan Turner steps back, holding his jaw, Chris Carson and Andrew Hurley finally make their way through the crowd on the upper-balcony, where they continue to slug it out and fight with each other. Up here, Andrew flattens "The Creep" with a clothesline and then goes to heave him off the balcony, only to have Chris Carson stop in his tracks.
Lex Robinson: We have Chris Carson and Andrew Hurley fighting above us... Stevie Swing tied to the ring post, Morgana cowering away, trying to protect herself... and an angry Declan Turner marching devilishly towards his own partner, not happy with what she just did!
Steve Hebert: She did it on purpose! That old cunt!
Lex Robinson: Declan reaches back and then strikes Jay with a punch to the mouth, knocking her flat on her back! Listen to the fans jeer that!
Steve Hebert: These dumb fans don't know what's good for them!
Lex Robinson: As this chaos erupts, Andrew Hurley throws Chris Carson towards the balcony railing, trying to knock him off.
Steve Hebert: Like I said, someone's going to die by the end of the night!
Having been punched in the mouth, Jay pops back up... and delivers her own strike to Declan Turner!
Steve Hebert: What the fuck?! She can't do that!
Lex Robinson: "The Collective" is imploding!
Steve Hebert: She hit him with a godforsaken forearm! How dare she?!
Lex Robinson: The crowd is going nuts, as Jay strikes Declan again!
Steve Hebert: And Chris Carson and Andrew Hurley almost knock each other off the balcony above, too! This is fucked up.
Lex Robinson: Jay goes for another forearm... but Declan kicks her in the gut, hoists her up and then Northern Light Bombs her! She just got dropped on her head!
Steve Hebert: ...and there go Andrew Hurley and Chris Carson!
Just as the Northern Lights Bomb is unleashed onto Jay, Chris Carson and Andrew Hurley knock each other off the balcony, thanks to holding onto one another. Their bodies plummet to the ground, as gravity takes its effect, sending both men smashing through a poker table, sending anarray of chips and cards flying every which way!
Steve Hebert: Holy shit!
Lex Robinson: Jesus! Things are going wild all over this freakin' casino!
Steve Hebert: That cunt, Stevie Swing, has finally ripped herself away from the barbed-wire, leaving behind a sick trail of flesh, as she slides into the ring! She sees Declan stand up, having laid out his own partner...
Lex Robinson: The Last Dance to Declan Turner! It sends Declan flying back, knocking him over the top rope and to the floor! Perhaps foreshadowing for later in the night?! Who knows, we'll have to wait and see!
Steve Hebert: Augh... why?! That dreadful whore. That dreadful Jewish whore. I oughta break her big, cheap Jew nose. I oughta throw her into the Jew oven... I oughta...
Lex Robinson: Bad back and all, Morgana is making her way to the top rope!
Steve Hebert: Oh, for Christ's sake.
Lex Robinson: With a backflip, she moonsaults back, making not one rotation -- but two! She lands on Jay, hooking her leg!
Steve Hebert: No... no... no! No, referee, don't count that shit.
Lex Robinson: Here we go...
...1...
Lex Robinson: One...!
Steve Hebert: Declan, make the save!
Lex Robinson: He can't; he's too busy being pummeled by Stevie Swing!
...2...
Lex Robinson: Two...!
Steve Hebert: Andrew Hurley...?
Lex Robinson: Andrew Hurley is currently molded into a poker table, alongside Chris Carson!
Steve Hebert: No!
...
Lex Robinson: Thr...
...3...!
Lex Robinson: Three! They did it! Morgana, Stevie Swing and Chris Carson are victorious!
Steve Hebert: They all beat the bloody fuck out of each other.
Lex Robinson: You can say that again!
The referee calls for the bell, thus giving the match to Morgana and her crew. Quickly, he steps to Morgana, sits her up and raises her hand into the air, letting her soak up the praise, despite the absolute pain she is in.
Steve Hebert: Morgana... a possible broken nose, broken back and various contusions over her body. Chris Carson... a bloodied face, a busted jaw, and probably a broken hip or back from that previous fall. Stevie Swing... a possible concussion, cuts all over her body thanks to the barbed-wire...
Lex Robinson: Those are your winners. They somehow managed to pull it out!
Steve Hebert: Hold the fuck on shit-tits, I'm not done. Jay... possible kidney rupture, broken bones and a concussion. Declan Turner, the World Champ, a possible concussion, bloodied forehead and lord knows what else. All five of them have one more match to go! And it's coming up in just a few minutes! How will they be able to compete?!
Lex Robinson: We'll need the medics to attend to them; that's for goddamn sure.
Steve Hebert: We may as well just crown Shane Donovan the 2008 Sin Trophy winner.
Lex Robinson: [shudders] Let's not be ridiculous here.
Steve Hebert: Ugh... I know. It's just mind-boggling.
Lex Robinson: What a war we had here. And don't forget, I just remembered... Morgana, Stevie Swing and Chris Carson all get to book seperate editions of Eternity, too!
Steve Hebert: The news just goes from bad-to-worse.
Lex Robinson: After tonight's show, you can login to the Sin Wrestling website and find out what matches either Morgana, Chris Carson or Stevie Swing have setup for the next edition of Eternity. It'll be like that for the next 3 shows, too... right up until the next pay per view!
Steve Hebert: It's times like these, that I want to shove a Q-Tip in my ear. Get it deep inside there. You know?
Medics, ring crew and various other personnel circle around the ringside area, checking on all competitors. The first person they get to the back is the Television Champ, Morgana, who receives a round of applause from the fans. She is then followed by the World Champ, Declan Turner, who looks severely annoyed with the loss, even shouting words of hatred to various fans.
Finally, Chris Carson, Andrew Hurley, Jay and Stevie Swing are brought to the back, all in that order.
It remains to see how the Battle Royal will go for these 5 competitors.
Winners: Morgana/Stevie Swing/Chris Carson
A camera quickly slides into a locker room, before the name on the door can be revealed. Standing against a row of lockers at the far wall is Sin Wrestling's resident vampire, who sniffs the air warily for a moment, before popping open one of the lockers.
Keeley Powers: MMMMM!!! MPPHHHH!!!
Casanova: What the shit?
Keeley Powers is sparsely dressed, crammed into the wide locker, apparently hanging upside down from her panties by one of the hooks in the back of the locker. Casanova shakes his head, before crouching close to her head, while reading what appears to a note taped to Keeley's forehead.
Casanova: Dear Cas A. Nova: thought you'd like a present! PS: She's a virgin, you vampires like that shit, right? Love...
He sighs loudly.
Casanova: ...Roxy Erikson.
Keeley Powers: MMMM!!!! MMPPPPHHHH!!!!!
Casanova: Yeah, yeah. Semi-nude girl in my locker...fuck that. You're staying put for later.
Casanova slams the locker door shut, before marching across the room, punching the cameraman in the face, taking the camera, and repeatedly whacking it over the hapless cameraman. The scene fades out blurry, the image swinging wildly.
Corey Page stands outside Morgana's locker-room door, knocking wildly on the door, waiting for her to open up. Once she does, Morgana steps out, with Betsy at her side, seeing Corey standing before her.
Corey Page: Jesus Christ, you look like shit.
Morgana: Gee, thanks.
Morgana, fresh off her "No rules" 6-person tag war, gives a sarcastic reply, and rolls her eyes. She watches as Corey Page hunches over and commences rubbing and patting Betsy's head, her little tail wagging as Corey says his goodbyes.
Corey Page: You be a good goat now. You do what Morgy says. And don't eat her pink hairdye. Trust me, I've tried it. It's not good and it'll make you sick.
Corey sniffles as he gives Betsy one final hug and then gives her a kick in the rear end, shoving her back into Morgy's locker-room.
Corey Page: See? I follow through on my promis--wahhhhhhhhhhh...
A teary-eyed Corey Page storms away, in a state of depression about losing his pet goat. In the meantime, Betsy sniffs Morgy's crotch, while Morgana slams the door, trying to prep herself up for the main event.
Before the main event commences, the cameras open in the back, showing Chris Extreme sitting on a bench, wearing his own blood, and looking quite pathetic. His tongue is still sliced open and dripping blood from his prior match.
Chris Extreme: I'm jus' a fuggup. I loz Merzede... I've lose electin... I los' e'ryt'ing. No reas'n 'do' live ay'more. 'o rea'on 'o be arou'd here. Oh, Hidler, peas answer my pray-ars. If not Hidler, then Walt Didney.
A loud gurgling sound is heard, surprising Chris...
Chris Extreme: What de furk?
This ominous sound makes Chris get off his chair, wanting to check out the source of the sound. The camera watches as he turns the corner, with only his shadow being shown. He comes face-to-face with someone... or some thing.
Chris Extreme: Oh, it ais jus' ew.
...
Chris Extreme: Huh? Wha' are ew doin'?
...
Chris Extreme: Step de fulk away fro' me!
...
Chris Extreme: No, I'm not covered in ketchup! What de...? No!
...
Chris Extreme: No!
Chris Extreme's shadow is lifted into the air, soon swallowed into oblivion, as its legs are shown kicking and squirming in mid-air. Sounds of drool and gargling can he heard.
Has lunch been served?
Fade the fuck out.
2005 -- Casanova
2006 -- Destiny Daniels
2007 -- Chris Extreme & Morgana
Lex Robinson: Here we are, it's main event time.
Steve Hebert: Half of our main event participants just got through a bloody brawl. Are you even sure that we're going to have a main event?!
Lex Robinson: Trust me, the battle royal is happening. This pay per view is name for it, so of course it'll happen.
Steve Hebert: Just making sure.
Lex Robinson: Will we have the first ever Sin Trophy repeat winner? We have two former winners in this match: Casanova, 2005's winner, and Morgana, last year's winner alongside Chris Extreme.
Steve Hebert: Fuck that. Out with the old and in with the new, I say.
"Bang Your Head" by Dope Stars Inc. begins to play and the lights fade as dizzying white spotlights begin to swirl around the audience. Jay James walks out from the back, wearing a pair of electric blue daisy dukes and a matching halter top; white winged tipped boots, and white fingerless arm-bands finish off the look. Several doctors follow her out, but she pushes them away, very keen on headed towards the ring. Once inside, Jay un-straps her Impulse Title and hands it over to the ringside crew... or what's left of it, anyhow.
Lex Robinson: See? Here comes Jay, hobbling to the ring.
Steve Hebert: Jesus, she's a mess.
Lex Robinson: Half of it is probably because of that asshole, Declan Turner.
Steve Hebert: Don't blame Declan! She had it coming!
Lex Robinson: Yeah, I'm sure.
Darkness cockslaps the arena. “Chick Habit” by April March pumps through the P.A., and a spotlight shines on a pink glass and tissue paper structure that is not unlike…a vagina. There’s a silhouette of a woman on the pink paper, and an image of the one and only Stevie Swing on screen.
Stevie Swing bursts through the vagina to deafening cheers, the people in the audience going apeshit for the Dancing KingQueen. That sounds gay. Stevie dances around as fireworks explode all over the stage (gotta have fireworks), showing off her figure.
Lex Robinson: Much like Jay, Stevie Swing staggers to the ring, having tiny blotches of blood on her upper-body, looking quite dazed.
Steve Hebert: What a match we're going to have. Someone will punch her and it'll kill her. Just great.
Lex Robinson: Stevie slides into the ring, where she keeps an eye on Jay, who stands in the opposite corner, trying to keep her balance.
Steve Hebert: Otherwise, the bitch'll fall down.
The tinkling bells mark the beginning of "Rock Superstar" by Cypress Hill, as the arena lights suddenly go dark. With the guitars beginning the main part of the song, multicolored lights begin to pulse along with the beat, revealing Casanova to be standing on the stage, staring behind sunglasses over the ring and crowd. He heads toward the ring, high fiving a few fans and basking in the audience response, before rolling into the ring and crouching in one of the corners, ready for the match.
Lex Robinson: Here's the first former winner -- Casanova!
Steve Hebert: He really needs to go back to the grave that he crawled out of.
Lex Robinson: Probably your mother's.
Steve Hebert: Don't be silly, Lex, that old bag is still alive.
Lex Robinson: Casanova, who easily defeated Jean-Paul Lacklan at the start of the evening, is looking ready and willing to go.
"The Terminator" theme song plays on the speakers and Rekon makes his way out, fresh off his victory against Shane Donovan earlier in the night. Headed straight to the ring, he rolls inside, takes a peak at his other competitors and lays against the ropes.
Steve Hebert: The lieutenant! Stand still, Lex.
Lex Robinson: Eh... no.
Steve Hebert: Fine!
The lights dim into a bloody red glow, then throb to life with a guitar riff like an alarm. Pyro fires off in red flares. As the song evolves into a rhythmic drumbeat and bass line, a haunted version of Queens of the Stone Age’s "Sick, Sick, Sick", Chris Carson comes out with a purpose, but all signs of the once-proud S.O.S. logo are gone for now. Carson jaws with the audience, then slides slowly into the ring, crippling along, surely feeling the damage from falling off the upper-balcony with Andrew Hurley.
Steve Hebert: "The Creep"!
Lex Robinson: "The Creep"!
Steve Hebert: Quite frankly, I'm surprised that he can still even walk. Holy crap.
Lex Robinson: At least his face is bandaged up.
Steve Hebert: Earlier, it looked like Morgy had her period on his face.
Lex Robinson: Yeugh...
All My Life I been searching for something...
Something never comes, never leads to nothing...
Nothing satisfies, but I'm gettin close...
Closer to the prize at the end of the rope
The words MADE FOR TV appear on the screen as the lights in the arena slowly began to dim and "All My Life" by the Foo Fighters progresses on. An array of baby blue lasers shoot into various directions, moving about, in time with the rhythm of the music.
As the song drops in, explosions go off, as Sebastian York makes his way to the top of the ramp, rocking out to the music. He hops up and down atop the ramp before bursting into a full sprint towards the ring.
Sliding into the ring, he pops up onto his feet and lifts both of his hands into the air, drawing a huge pop from the crowd as pyro shoots into the air from the each corner. As the pyro display dies down, Sebastian nods to the referee and waits for his match to begin.
Steve Hebert: Metrosexual alert!
Lex Robinson: Sebastian York is here! Earlier tonight, he beat Keeley Powers and...
Steve Hebert: Speaking of her, what the hell was up with her in the back? All hung out to dry for Casanova? Did he eat her or something?
Lex Robinson: And who put her in that position? Was it really Roxy Erikson? We haven't seen here since... forever, it seems like.
Steve Hebert: The last time we saw that dirty, slutty bitch she was snorting up a line of baking soda... thanks to "The Creep".
Lex Robinson: Who is also in this match. But is she really back?
Steve Hebert: Who knows? Better yet, who cares?
The lights dim the arena as blue strobes begin to flash, and the following image flashes across the screen:
The strobes continue as the heavy riffs of "Sold Me" kick in, and eventually the riffs soften and vocals filter in...
Blue spotlight shines down, revealing Shane Donovan standing on the stage, a smug look on his face as he walks to the ring. The light follows him as he makes his way around the ring itself, sneering and taunting fans before taking off his jacket and tossing it into the crowd. He then slides into the ring as the lights return to normal.
Steve Hebert: Fag.
Lex Robison: Yep.
Steve Hebert: And a tool.
"Right Now" by SR-71 hits...
Lex Robinson: And here's Keeley... I think...
It walks like Keeley, looks like Keeley and even plays air-guitar like Keeley... except with a little more exuberance. The person coming out even has a wig on, making her appear like Keeley Powers...
Lex Robinson: That's not Keeley Powers!
Steve Hebert: It is so!
Lex Robinson: Oh, shut up. That's... that's Roxy Erikson! She really is back!
Steve Hebert: No way, that's Keeley.
Lex Robinson: Are you blind? Plus, Keeley is trapped in the back, thanks to Roxy Erikson.
Steve Hebert: I'm telling you right now.., that's Keeley.
Lex Robinson: For the love of God, that's Roxy Erikson!
Steve Hebert: No way. Really? I don't think so.
Lex Robinson: Oh, shut up.
Keeley-Roxy Erikson slides into the ring, hamming it up to the fans, and even walks over to her former partner, Casanova, giving him a gleeful slap on the back. The fans, who are in on the joke, begin a "Roxy!" chant, despite her dressing like Keeley Powers, stealing her way into the match.
Steve Hebert: Look at Keeley strum her air-guitar.
Lex Robinson: For God's sake...
Steve Hebert: There's no way that Roxy Erikson; no way.
The arena unexpectedly descends into total darkness, sparking the crowd into an expectant frenzy. After a long moment of anticipation, "Piece of Me (Remix)" by Britney Spears pulses through the sound system, accompanied by an image of Morgana in all of her pink-haired glory, which overtakes the screen.
The crowd cheers at nearly deafening decibels as hot pink and gold fireworks explode down the ramp, prompting Morgana to saunters out from backstage, wearing her Television Title, looking worn down and quite haggard. Still with traces of blood from her nose, she walks to the ringside area and hops up onto the ring apron, having droplets of blood on her wrestling gear.
i'm miss lifestyles of the rich and famous
i'm miss oh my god, that morgy's shameless
i'm miss extra, extra, this just in
i'm miss she's too big now she's too thin
Gingerly stepping inside the ring, holding her back, as she steps inside, she removes her Television Title and hands it off to the referees at ringside. She moves into a corner, leans against a turnbuckle pad and awaits the arrival of the final competitor, Declan Turner.
Steve Hebert: Jesus, it's like she needs a wheelchair... or something.
Lex Robinson: I'm not going to doubt that. She took quite a beating in the previous match. I'm surprised she's even out here.
Steve Hebert: I'm surprised she's not dead.
Lex Robinson: You'll have to do much more than that to kill Morgy, that's for certain.
Steve Hebert: Gravity will crush her one of these days.
Lex Robinson: Not bloody likely.
Steve Hebert: We'll see what Keeley Powers has to say about that.
Lex Robinson: But... you know what? Nevermind.
Steve Hebert: Hah!
The arena goes dark as the words blaze across the screen.
Well, give us your sad sad trip.
I GET IT
IT ALL MAKES SENSE
YOU'RE THE PERFECT PERSON, SO RIGHT
SO WRONG
LET'S ALL LIVE IN YOUR IMAGINARY LIFE
Steve Hebert: Listen to these fans, Lex, they love him!
Lex Robinson: Those are boos, Steve.
Steve Hebert: Well, fuck them. They oughta have some respect. Declan Turner nearly killed himself in the previous match. He marched out here, willing to defend his title and try his goddamn best, and that's how they treat him? Well, screw you, too.
Lex Robinson: Are you going to be okay, man?
Steve Hebert: Probably not, no.
Once Declan is inside, the bell rings and the match gets under way...
Lex Robinson: Here we go, Steve!
Steve Hebert: The first thing Jay does is sprint across the ring... and start forearming the World Champ, Declan, in the jaw! Can she do that?
Lex Robinson: Hell yeah, she can. Serves that prick right.
Steve Hebert: Couldn't she have gone after Keeley Powers or something?
Lex Robinson: ...You're ridiculous. Anyhow, Keel... err... Roxy...
Steve Hebert: Haha.
Lex Robinson: Roxy is attacking Shane Donovan, jumping on his back, trying to claw his eyes out.
While Jay and Declan exchange blows near the ropes, Morgana and Stevie Swing tie-up with Rekon and Casanova, with each of them trading smacks with the other. Morgana goes to strike Casanova with a palm-strike; however, Casanova ducks the attempt, hoists Morgy up into a back-suplex position and then drops her forward, allowing him to drop her on her spine.
Lex Robinson: Ouch! Casanova throws Morgy on her rear-end. That had to send a shockwave of hurt up her asshole and into her back.
Steve Hebert: That's gonna hurt. Not only that, but Casanova places his right foot on her back, reaches forward, grabs onto both arms and begins pulling back, trying to apply as much pressure as possible.
Lex Robinson: Stevie Swing sees this, too. She turns away from chopping and punching Rekon, turns to Casanova and then delivers a dropkick to the side of Casanova's head, trying to remove him from Morgy, but to no avail. Instead, Stevie jumps back up, bounces off the ropes and returns with a flying-forearm smash to Casanova's face, which successfully removes him away from Morgy.
Steve Hebert: He bumps into Sebastian York, who had been wailing away on a crippled Chris Carson, striking him with a flurry of punches. Turning around, Sebastian York gives that faggy old vampire a punch in the mouth.
Lex Robinson: Of course, Casanova doesn't take too kindly to this, as he instantly responds with a punch to Sebastian York's face, knocking him against "The Creep", who had been leaning against the ropes. He grabs both Sebastian's and Chris Carson's head and knocks them together; which surely gives both men a wicked headache.
Steve Hebert: Speaking of headaches, look at that bitch, Keeley Pow--...
Lex Robinson: [sternly] Roxy Erikson...
Steve Hebert: Yeah, well, whatever. She is still on Shane Donovan's back, this time with her arms wrapped around his neck, trying to choke him out. With no other choice, he backs into the corner, jamming her against the turnbuckles, where he starts striking her with some elbows, trying to free himself.
Lex Robinson: But it's all no-good! She maintains her position, trying to choke him out.
Steve Hebert: He even tries to dump her to the floor, whilst in the corner, but it's no good, either.
Lex Robinson: She's hanging on.
Steve Hebert: And so is Declan Turner, who is tucked between the middle and top rope, trying to duck and dodge out of the way of Jay's punches and forearms. As he hangs there, she even swiftly kicks him with a hard strike to the kidneys. Son of a bitch...
Stepping back, Jay allows for Declan to remove himself from the ropes, as he holds his back and face, trying to shrug off the pain. Nevertheless, the smaller and more agile Jay viciously pokes him in the eyes, tricking him, making him think she is going to back off.
Steve Hebert: Jay pokes poor Declan in the eye!
Lex Robinson: Good!
Steve Hebert: That weaselly cunt.
Declan stumbles backwards, holding his face while cursing, and Jay uses this opportunity to deliver a bulldog. Ignoring the rest of her competition, Jay drags Declan to the corner of the ring and props him up before harshly stomping him in the face repeatedly.
Lex Robinson: Over and over, Jay stomps at Declan's face, kicking him down, making sure he doesn't rise. Grabbing onto the top ropes, she pushes herself into the air, kicks back and then propels her feet forward, delivering a vicious double-stomp to Declan Turner's face, cutting his wound wide open!
Steve Hebert: Ugh, that's awful. What a bitter bitch.
Lex Robinson: The fans are enjoying it, at least.
Steve Hebert: Luckily for Declan, before she can strike again, Rekon moves in, grabs her by the hair and delivers an elbow to the back of her skull! Thank Rekon. I never thought I'd ever say that, too.
Lex Robinson: In the meantime, Sebastian York has fired back an elbow to Casanova's gut and then drops him with a DDT. As he goes to stand back up, he notices Morgana moving in on him, deciding to kick her in the gut, as well. After striking her with a European uppercut, he throws her into the corner, opposite of Shane and Roxy, and begins to stomp her down.
Steve Hebert: I don't know who's prettier -- Morgana or Sebastian. It's so hard to decide.
Lex Robinson: Not gay.
Steve Hebert: Yeah, you're right. It's definitely Sebastian.
Lurching off the ropes, Chris Carson stumbles towards his partner from the previous match, Stevie Swing, striking her with a stiff-clothesline, knocking her flat on her back. In no time, "The Creep" lifts her back up, only to hotshot her across the top rope, using that momentum to try and toss Stevie overboard.
Lex Robinson: Stevie is almost being eliminated by Chris Carson, whom she was teaming with not too long ago.
Steve Hebert: Hah, go figure!
Lex Robinson: Walking around the ring, Casanova eyes a bloody Declan begin to rise, only to keep him down with a stiff kick to the chest, grinding him down against the corner. Looking to the adjacent corner, Casanova realizes Roxy is being hung up on the turnbuckles, trying to be thrown out by Roxy Erikson.
Steve Hebert: Keeley is hanging on!
Lex Robinson: ...Casanova moves towards Shane and Keeley...
Steve Hebert: I think you mean Roxy.
Lex Robinson: My God, you've got me all mixed up. Either way, Casanova plucks Shane Donovan out of the corner and hammers him with some punches, which force Shane Donovan to stumble back... only to walk right into a kick to the face from Roxy Erikson...
Steve Hebert: And he stumble back to Casanova...
Lex Robinson: Who then bionic-elbows Shane in the forehead!
Steve Hebert: And back he goes again...
Lex Robinson: Shane receives another kick from Roxy Erikson, as she sits on the top turnbuckle... and then is struck with another punch from Casanova! Suddenly, out of nowhere, Roxy wraps both of her legs around Shane Donovan's head and drops backward off the turnbuckle and ropes.
Steve Hebert: Wait...
Lex Robinson: The flow of that reverse-hurricanrana type move sends Shane Donovan flipping back over the top rope and landing on the floor, whereas Roxy lands on the apron! Shane Donovan is out of here!
Steve Hebert: Good riddance to pure trash.
Realizing his defeat, Shane Donovan stands to his feet on the floor, slaps his hand off the apron and then retreats to the back, obviously upset about the elimination.
Regaining her footing on the apron, Roxy rises and is about to re-enter when Casanova finally recognizes that she went over the top, also.
Lex Robinson: Casanova tries to push Roxy off the apron... but she hangs onto the top rope, almost caught by surprise.
Steve Hebert: See? That rotten vampire is no-good. I've said it before and I'll say it again, he's a rotten soundrel.
Lex Robinson: Roxy, who was almost caught off-guard, quickly snaps back with a shoulderblock to Casanova's stomach from the apron area. Using her agility, she slingshots over the top rope, sailing back down across Casanova's head with a guillotine-legdrop!
Steve Hebert: His stupid vampire face smashes right into the canvas, hopefully chipping those silly teeth of his.
Roxy goes to stand, but before she can fully regain her balance, Sebastian York walks up to her and kicks her in the gut. Delivering a back-elbow, York knocks her against the ropes and then pounds her face off the top turnbuckle pad. Turning her around, he stands to the middle rope and begins delivering some punches, not aware that Declan Turner sneaks up behind him...
Lex Robinson: Sebastian York is laying some fists into Roxy's temple. Unfortunately, he isn't aware that Declan Turner is charging up behind him. Declan leaps up, delivering a spear to the back of Sebastian York, knocking him off Roxy, dropping him to the outer portion of the apron.
Steve Hebert: Damnit, so close! Just fall, homo.
Lex Robinson: Sebastian quickly pops back up and ducks beneath a clothesline attempt from Declan, which would have surely knocked him onto the floor. Instead, he hooks onto Declan's head and guillotines him throat-first across the top rope! From here, Sebastian quickly scurries up the adjacent set of turnbuckles and leaps off...
Steve Hebert: No!
Lex Robinson: He hits a top-rope frog splash onto Declan Turner!
Steve Hebert: If only someone had to vault over and knock him off.
LeX Robinson: Yeah, well; that didn't happen.
Against the adjacent set of ropes, Roxy Erikson and Stevie Swing begin duking it out, each of them bitch-slapping each other, until Jay James steps up behind them, delivering a jumping knee to Roxy's back. From here, Jay delivers a chop to Roxy's neck, only to then have Rekon step behind her, latch onto her with a full-nelson and then release full-nelson suplex her!
LeX Robinson: Rekon sends Jay flying!
Steve Hebert: It's what she gets for attacking Declan.
Lex Robinson: He started it.
Steve Hebert: What are you? 8?
Lex Robinson: Eh... Morgana and Sebastian York tangle with each other now, with York punching her twice in the stomach. Plucking her into him, applying a standing headscissors, Sebastian lifts her up on his shoulders, positioning her into a powerbomb-position...
Steve Hebert: That cunt strikes him in the head a few times, which causes the metrosexual to lumber forward, trying to dump her over the top rope.
Lex Robinson: It's true, Sebastian goes to powerbomb her to the floor, but she hands on; incidnetally trying to hurricanrana him to the outside, but to no avail. Hanging on for dear life, Sebastian wraps both feet around the bottom rope, while Morgana slinks back, pushing herself back onto his shoulders, twists around and then simply hurricanranas him back into the ring!
Steve Hebert: Just as a crippling Chris Carson delivers a neckbreaker to Declan Turner. Slowly standing up, "The Creep" steps back, accidentally bumping into his former nemesis, Morgana.
Lex Robinson: Slowly, they turn around and face each other... and then duck. Out of the corner of their eye, they see an incoming attack from Sebastian York on Morgy; and Casanova on "The Creep"! As a result of the ducking, Stevie and Sebastian York charge toward each other, with York attempting a clothesline. Sadly for him, Stevie ducks beneath the attempt, leaps onto the middle rope and springs back. Twirling around, she latches onto Sebastian's head and brings him down with a Tornado Swing DDT!
Steve Hebert: Off to the side, "The Creep" comes to his senses and strikes Morgana in the back of her neck with a forearm! About damn time, too.
Lex Robinson: He holds Morgy up into a back-suplex position... only to drop her down across his knee! It was only two months ago that these 2 squared off in a Last Person Standing match; and they beat the living hell out of each other. Incidentally, as Morgy lays across "The Creep"'s knee, Roxy Erikson comes running into view, delivering a running-knee to the side of her head!
Steve Hebert: Bam! That almost decapitated her.
In the meantime, Rekon continues to pummel Jay. For example, after reverse-suplexing her, he immediately lifts her back up, knees her in the gut and then tilt-a-whirl backbreakers her. In one swift motion, he lifts her back up, twists her around and then drops her stomach-first across his knee!
Lex Robinson: Rekon is taking it to Jay, who is worn down from her prior match.
Steve Hebert: If we're lucky, maybe she'll bleed again. Maybe even bleed to death.
Lex Robinson: Picking Jay off his knee, Rekon chops her across the chest and then suplexes her. He holds on, though, and delivers a secondary suplex. Once more, he goes for a third suplex, but it's halted with a knee to the head from Jay, who releases herself from Jay's clutches, only to temporarily halt him with an enziguiri!
Steve Hebert: It's official. Jay hates America. Why else would she do that to someone who fights and dies for his country? I know I love America.
Lex Robinson: You're from Quebec, Canada.
Steve Hebert: What can I say? I'm a seperatist.
Stunned, Rekon stumbles back, only to walk right into a stumbling Casanova, who notices him step towards him. Just then, Casanova reaches up, places both of his hands around Rekon's neck and hoists him into the air. Rushing forward, Casanova charges near the ropes, with Rekon held high into the air...
Steve Hebert: America is in trouble...
Lex Robinson: Casanova moves forward with Rekon... and chokeslams him from inside the ring, dropping him all the way out to the floor! Rekon has been eliminated!
Steve Hebert: America died tonight. Never f'n forget.
Lex Robinson: That officially brings us down to 8 competitors!
After dumping Rekon to the floor, Casanova is jumped by Stevie Swing, who moves in, trying to flip Casanova to the floor. At just the right time, Casanova holds onto the top rope, disabling the flow, thus enabling him to elbow Stevie in her head, stopping the elimination attempt.
Steve Hebert: Now that America has died, we have to focus on the remaining competitors... Casanova, Roxy Erikson, Morgana, Jay, Stevie Swing, Sebastian York, Chris Carson; and my main man, Declan Turner. We're one step closer to finishing off this clusterfuck and finding out who will walk out as the 2008 Sin Trophy winner.
Lex Robinson: Let's not forget that the winner also earns the right to book himself into whatever match he or she wants at the next pay per view. That thing is key. They could even book themselves into a World Title match, if they want.
Steve Hebert: What if Declan wins?
Lex Robinson: If he wins, then he can also book himself into whatever match he wants. He can even choose if he wants to defend or not.
Steve Hebert: Well, that sounds jiffy!
Lex Robinson: However, if Declan can't remove himself from the clutches of Chris Carson, he could very well be in trouble. Right now, he is trapped in the corner, while "The Creep" stomps him down, even using his right foot to choke him. Realizing this, a dazed Jay walks in, forearms "The Creep" in the back of his neck...
Steve Hebert: Finally, she sees the error of her ways...
Lex Robinson: She begins kicking and stomping on Declan, instead! She feverishly strikes him with her boot, over and over again, not allowing him to remove. Stepping aside, "The Creep" rubs at his neck, turns around and notices Sebastian York leap at him with a superkick!
Steve Hebert: Agh! Watch it!
Lex Robinson: Luckily for "The Creep", he falls over the middle rope and lands on the floor. Remember, you have to go over the top rope.
Steve Hebert: You don't say.
Lex Robinson: Yup, and two feet must hit the floor, as always.
Steve Hebert: Nevertheless, "The Creep" remains on the floor, holding his jaw. God, I hope he's alright; he's been through way too much tonight.
Turning around, Sebastian York walks directly into a punch to the groin from Roxy Erikson!
Steve Hebert: ...Yep, and down goes Sebastian York. Kicks in the face don't compare with a punch to the balls.
Lex Robinson: Seriously. Sadly, Roxy ends up stumbling back into a kick from Stevie Swing, who immediately brainbusters her into the center of the ring! Stevie then rises only to have Declan sneak up behind him, half-nelson him and then release half-nelson suplex him! What a fast succession of moves!
Steve Hebert: Jesus, I can't keep up with this. Declan then rises, only to have Morgana springboard off the top rope, soar through the air and connect with a seated-dropkick to Declan, while landing on top of Roxy with a senton bomb!
Lex Robinson: Just as Morgy stands, though; Casanova steps in, positions Morgy between his legs and then brings her down with a double-underhook piledriver! Out of nowhere, in runs Jay, who kicks Casanova as he stands, only to quickly grab onto his hair and bring him down with a facebuster!
Steve Hebert: Goddamnit, slow down, assholes.
Lex Robinson: Getting to her feet, Jay rises, holding her hands in the air, feeling as if she has gotten the upperhand on everyone. However, out of her sight, Sebastian York arises, comes up from behind on Jay, lifts her up onto his shoulders in a reverse fireman's carry position and then swings her out, bringing her down with a twisting neckbreaker! That's the move he calls "MAde For TV"!
Standing back up, Sebastian York lifts Jay to her feet and is about to toss her over the top rope. Not noticing "The Creep" Chris Carson slide inside, behind his back, Sebastian York is taken by surprise once "The Creep" lunges at him, striking him with a high-knee to the back!
Lex Robinson: Chris Carson knees Sebastian York in the back! The force is enough to spring Sebastian forward, knocking him over the top rope, where he lands on the ring apron. Seeing this, "The Creep" watches and waits for Sebastian to rise; and once he does, he darts forward...
Steve Hebert: Yes! Get him, "Creep"!
Lex Robinson: Using all his might, Chris Carson clothesline Sebastian York off the rope, sending him flying off the apron with a backflip, where he crashes onto the floor, landing face-first onto the concrete! Damn, what a lariat!
Steve Hebert: There goes the metrosexual of this party.
As he realizes that he has been eliminated, an annoyed Sebastian York leaps back onto the apron and gets in Chris Carson's face. This prompts a horde of officials to circle around Sebastian, trying to get him off the apron, but he hangs on, grabbing onto Chris Carson's arm, in the process.
Steve Hebert: What the hell is that idiot doing?
Lex Robinson: Sebastian York should get to the back, but he feels obligated to stay here, I guess.
Steve Hebert: In my opinion, he needs to feel obligated to get his filthy hands off "The Creep".
Lex Robinson: It seems as if Sebastian is trying to drag "The Creep" over the top rope...
Steve Hebert: Is that even legal?!
Lex Robinson: I... I... I don't know.
Steve Hebert: What the Christ?
Behind "The Creep", everyone else is started to awaken from their previous encounter; with Casanova grabbing Morgana and heaving her into the corner, where he starts punching and kicking her. Stevie Swing, meanwhile, grabs Roxy Erikson and whips her into the ropes, only to bring her back down with a spin-wheel kick!
Steve Hebert: Declan Turner is about to rise, busted face and all. However, before he can fully rise, Jay chopblocks his knee out from underneath him.
Lex Robinson: Jay is also able to see Sebastian York trying to haul "The Creep" out of the ring. This prompts her to rush towards them, grab onto Chris Carson's legs... and then dump him over the top rope, thanks to a little help from Sebastian York!
Steve Hebert: What?! No!
Lex Robinson: It's true!
Aghast at being eliminated, Chris Carson promptly stands back up and looks at Sebastian York, who is laughing at "The Creep"'s expense, along with every other fan in the arena.
Steve Hebert: This is not fair! How dare this happen! I demand a recount!
Lex Robinson: It's too late; Chris Carson is gone!
With nothing else left to do, a tired and anguished Chris Carson lunges at Sebastian York, beginning to beat and punch at him. These two battle all the way to the back, throwing fists at each other, also taking every single referee with them, trying to break up the ruckus.
Lex Robinson: Every single referee that was out here is trying to seperate them.
Steve Hebert: Fat fuckin' chance. Chris Carson wants to rip his throat out. This was his best chance at regaining another shot at the World Title, too... and now it's all ruined, all thanks to that beautiful metrosexual. He couldn't just accept the fact that "The Creep" eliminated him... he had to bring his nose back into the match and into Carson's business.
Lex Robinson: As far as I'm concerned, "The Creep" should have been more alert. Besides, it was Jay who creeped up on him and helped push him over.
Steve Hebert: I know. Fuck her, too. That no-good cunt. Declan Turner is going to fuck her up right now...
The camera shot returns to the ringside area, where Jay is watching Sebastian York and Chris Carson trying to get untangled by the referees. When she goes to turn around, Declan charges at her like a choleric rhino, hoping to spear her completely out of the ring -- and possibly out of her boots.
Steve Hebert: Get her, Declan...!
Lex Robinson: She moves! In fact, she ducks down... and Declan goes over the top rope and lands on the floor!
Steve Hebert: No! No! You're kidding me. My eyes betray me!
Lex Robinson: It happened!
The moment he crashes onto the floor, though; Declan first instincts are to pop back to his feet and slide inside.
Lex Robinson: What the...? Wasn't he eliminated?!
Steve Hebert: The referees didn't see it! They were too busy dousing the flames with the brawl between Sebastian York and Chris Carson, who are only now retreating to the back! Declan is still in this thing!
Lex Robinson: No way... he fell out. He should be eliminated! I saw it with my own eyes... we all did!
Steve Hebert: Hell no! You saw nothing. Neither did the referees!
Lex Robinson: Jay has moved on to fighting with Stevie Swing. She doesn't even see Declan Turner coming up behind her. After delivering a chop to Stevie's neck, Jay turns around... only to receive a kick in the stomach! From here, Declan pulls Jay in and... oh no...
Steve Hebert: Declan hits a front-DDT! That's Jay's move! Hahaha! Yes! He picks her up... and then calmly heaves her over the top rope! The referees, who have just gotten back from trying to seperate Sebastian York and "The Creep" see Jay hit the floor!
Lex Robinson: They're saying she's out! How is this possible?! This can't be fair!
Steve Hebert: Hey, if Sebastian York dragging Chris Carson out of the ring is fair game, then so is this!
Lex Robinson: I can't believe it. She had Declan out of the ring... on the floor... his own two feet touching the floor!
Steve Hebert: I have no idea what you're talking about. Just like how you claim Roxy Erikson is Keeley Powers. It's silly and just shows you're on the brink of Alzheimer's.
Lex Robinson: Goddamnit... he even hit her with her own finishing move, just to add salt to the wound.
Jay goes to angrily re-enter the ring, but she is held back by several officials that keep her on the floor. In unison, they make Jay go to the back, while an extremely arrogant Declan Turner waves "bye" to her.
Eliminated: Jay (by Declan Turner)
Lex Robinson: Look at that snide smirk on his face... it makes me sick.
Steve Hebert: Buck up, Lex.
Lex Robinson: Buck off.
Trouble is about to pour over Declan as Morgana sneaks up behind him. Right away, she tucks her left leg beneath his right armpit, twirls around and wraps her right leg beneath his left armpit and then sunset-flips him!
Lex Robinson: Out of nowhere, Morgana rolls up Declan! Remember, pinfalls are kosher in this match!
A count is made...
...1...2...
Steve Hebert: No! Declan scissors both of his ankles off Morgana's temples, saving himself... and saving his World Title. Titles are on the line if you get pinned, isn't that so?
Lex Robinson: Uh huh; and Declan just escaped major danger.
Rolling backward, Declan storms up to his feet, where he hopes to catch a sore and injured Morgana by surprise with an increasingly strong lariat. However, despite the pain in her back, she is able to duck beneath his right arm, forcing him to progress forward... only to run directly into a running Yakuza Kick from Casanova!
Lex Robinson: Blammo! Casanova storms out of the corner and connects with a running foot to the face of Declan Turner!
Steve Hebert: That fucking Dracula...
Lex Robinson: Stumbling around, Declan turns around and walks into a harsh slap across the face from Roxy Erikson!
Steve Hebert: Keeley, no! Don't do that!
Lex Robinson: The force of this slap completely turns Declan around; this time making him walk into The Last Dance from Stevie Swing!
Steve Hebert: No! Not again! Oh Jesus!
After Stevie's foot connects with Declan's mouth, Morgy runs towards the ropes, bounces off the middle rope and hopes to spring back. Before she can launch herself, though; Roxy Erikson runs toward her and goes to shove her over the top rope -- which she is able to do!
Lex Robinson: Morgy goes to leap-- no! She is cutoff by Roxy, who still has that silly wig on her head, which makes her look similar to Keeley Powers! This shove makes Morgy flip over the top rope. Luckily, though, Morgy lands on the apron, still afloat.
Steve Hebert: "Luckily"? How about getting your tongue out of her cunt, Lex.
Lex Robinson: Eh... what?
Steve Hebert: Eh, I mean... it's probably bloodied from having Andrew Hurley kick glass into it and what not.
Having two hands wrapped around the top rope, Morgana maintains her balance, while Roxy Erikson moves in, wanting to completely knock Morgy off the apron. After striking the current Television Champion with a forearm to the jaw, Roxy is suddenly taken aback by Morgy, who uses the middle rope to propel herself -- successfully, this time.
Lex Robinson: Morgana staves off elimination by pushing herself into the air and connecting with a quick kick to the side of Roxy's head. As Roxy stumbles back, Morgy again uses the top rope as a springboard, allowing her to soar through the air like an eagle...
Steve Hebert: She was aiming at Roxy, but Casanova pushes her aside. Instead, Morgana lands on Casanova's shoulders, looking for a springboard hurricanrana...
Lex Robinson: He catches her! In return, he forcefully drops her back down with a sit-down powerbomb, snapping her head off the canvas! He places his feet across her shoulders, hoping for a pinfall...
...1...
Lex Robinson: But at the count of one, Stevie Swing, who was about to cover Declan Turner, jumps toward them. Stevie delivers a running Shining Wizard to Casanova's head, knocking him away from the pinfall! Morgy will have to thank Stevie for that.
Steve Hebert: Stevie just wants to be the new Adora. Wifey 2.0... Adora 2.0... I miss Adora... and so does Corey Ashton, who is probably currently in the burn ward.
Lex Robinson: We have that asshole, Declan Turner, to thank for that. How despicable.
Roxy, who watched Stevie make the save, but was unable to halt him, moves toward Stevie. In no time, she claws her competitor across the back, making sure to dig the nails deep, most likely effecting the previous barbed-wire lashes made onto Stevie.
Lex Robinson: Roxy has pushed Stevie into the corner... where she begins removing the bandage around Stevie Swing's arm, showing off the lacerated flesh from having barbed-wire wrapped around it! Like a rabid animal, she begins biting into the wound, letting the blood flow once more!
Steve Hebert: Holy shit, she's a zombie!
Lex Robinson: I wouldn't do that far.
Steve Hebert: Considering her lifestyle, it's the only possible explanation. If she isn't dead now, she soon will be! That's what happens when Keeley Powers transforms into Roxy Erikson.
Lex Robinson: ...Keeley was never here. The last time she was out here, she lost to Sebastian York.
Steve Hebert: Holy shit, are you fucking kidding me?
Lex Robinson: My god why?
Ripping mounds of flesh off a yelping Stevie Swing's arm, Roxy steps back and thrusts a chop into Stevie's throat, quickly quieting her.
Steve Hebert: Wow, Keeley is really showing a rugged edge tonight. I never expected it out of her.
Lex Robinson: You're never going to stop, are you?
Steve Hebert: Probably not, no.
Getting to a standing position, Casanova picks up Morgana and chops her chest.
Steve Hebert: Casanova sends Morgana's tits into the front row... into the greedy Monaco fans. I wouldn't expect anything less.
Lex Robinson: Wrapping her arm around his neck, Casanova hoists Morgy into the air, looking for a suplex. Before falling back, though; Casanova drapes Morgana across the top rope, sending her stomach-first across the ropes. Backing into the adjacent corner, he bounces out, looking to hit "The Bad Omen"...
Steve Hebert: But she moves out of the way, resulting in him hitting... absolutely nothing!
Lex Robinson: Exactly. Quickly, Morgana slingshots herself over the top rope, grabs onto Casanova's head and then bulldog him into the canvas!
Steve Hebert: Damnit, he screwed up. All he had to do was punch the bitch off the apron, but he had to get all fancy.
Finally removing himself from his daze, Declan Turner sits up, trying to readjust his jaw from the superkick he received from Stevie Swing, whom he notices in the opposite corner, getting beaten down by Roxy Erikson.
Steve Hebert: Using the ropes to help him stand, Declan gets to his feet, punches Morgana as she goes to rise, and then turns to Roxy and Stevie Swing. Stumbling in, he grabs Roxy by the hair and flings her halfway across the ring -- probably not the first time something like that has happened to that crazy old whore.
Lex Robinson: This leaves Declan cornering Stevie Swing, allowing him to relentlessly batter her with a flurry of forearms. Up next, Declan props Stevie onto the top rope, following that up with a wicked right-handed uppercut to Steve's mouth, which sends a spittle of blood into the audience.
Steve Hebert: First, it was Morgana tits; and now it's Stevie Swing blood. Someone will have a field day on E-Bay with all of this.
Lex Robinson: Slowly, Declan climbs up alongside Stevie Swing, putting both of them in a precarious position. Up here, they exchange several forearms and punches, with Declan wanting revenge for the two Last Dance superkicks he has received tonight.
Steve Hebert: It looks as if Declan is trying for some sort of superplex. Her arm is slung around Declan's head and he goes to super-backdrop driver her... only the bitch hangs on.
Lex Robinson: Stevie is hanging onto the top turnbuckle, not wanting to be flung off the top rope, responding with some punches to the top of Declan's skull. Seeing this non-movement, an ailing and regenerated Casanova leaps to his feet and races in, catching Declan from behind with a leaping axehandle to his back.
Steve Hebert: Goddamnit, you sleazy vampire. Get away from there.
Lex Robinson: Thanks to a double-team attack from Casanova and Stevie, who remains on the top turnbuckle, Declan is unable to fight back, thus enabling Casanova to sit him on his shoulders. Stepping back, Casanova prepares to deliver hell to Declan...
Realizing the tower in front of her, Roxy Erikson goes to interject herself, but she is stopped by Morgana, who jumps at her, delivering a seated-dropkick to Roxy's stomach, hunching her over.
Lex Robinson: Morgana kicks up to her feet, while Stevie Swing stands on the top turnbuckle pad...
Morgana grabs Roxy and goes to whip her into the ropes. At the last second, the whip is reversed and Roxy sends Morgy towards the ropes.
Lex Robinson: Morgana bounces back... but Roxy tries to catch her and twirl her around. Quick and nimble, Morgana tilt-a-whirl headscissors around Roxy not once... but once... and drops her onto the ground, where she then applies a crossface! That's the "Happiness in Slavery"!
Steve Hebert: Roxy cannot take the pain. She's going to tap. I know it!
Seconds later, Roxy is frantically tapping out, unable to resist the pain from Morgy's crossface.
Steve Hebert: She's tapping out just like Daniel!
Lex Robinson: Holy Christ, stop.
Steve Hebert: Keeley Powers is out of here!
Lex Robinson: Roxy...
Steve Hebert: Keeley Powers is out of here!
Lex Robinson: It's Roxy Erikson!
Steve Hebert: That's right, Keeley Powers.
Lex Robinson: Ugh...
Just as Roxy taps out, Stevie Swing leaps off the top rope, hitting a flying spin-wheel kick to Declan Turner, who had been on Casanova's shoulders. Making a complete rotation, Declan plummets dangerously to the canvas, while Roxy Erikson finally rolls out of the ring, complete with the "Keeley wig".
Lex Robinson: What a high-flying move by Stevie Swing, who gained amazing air with that jump!
Steve Hebert: Fuck that, Declan Turner just turned inside-out after falling from Casanova's shoulders!
Lex Robinson: What's even more important is that we're down to the final four!
Steve Hebert: Woohoo! About time!
Moving into one corner, Morgana sits against the turnbuckle pads, watching as Declan Turner lays motionless on the canvas. Right away, she swoops in on him, attempting a cover...
Steve Hebert: Morgana is trying for a cover!
Lex Robinson: This might work!
The count is made...
...1...2...
Steve Hebert: Casanova kicks her in her stupid pink head, stopping the count! Grabbing a handful of that pink, filthy hair, he throws her over the top rope... and she goes out to the floor!
Lex Robinson: No! She hangs onto the top rope! She's skinning-the-cat!
Steve Hebert: Sounds fucking perverted to me.
Lex Robinson: Only one of Morgana's feet touch the floor. As a result, she is able to pull herself back up, re-entering the ring, much to Casanova's ignorance.
Steve Hebert: That's because he's making cover of his own on Declan...
Again, the count is made...
Lex Robinson: He hooks the leg. We could have a new World Champion...
...1...
Lex Robinson: One...
...2...
Lex Robinson: Two...
Steve Hebert: Ugh...
...
Lex Robinson: No!
Steve Hebert: Yes!
Lex Robinson: Both Morgy and Stevie Swing interrupt the count! Stevie Swing connects with a baseball-slide dropkick to Casanova's face, while Morgana springboards off the top rope, hitting a springboard Shooting Star Press!
Steve Hebert: I never thought I'd say this... but thank fucking God for Stevie Swing and Morgana! If not God, then Xenu.
Lex Robinson: There's no Scientologists here.
Steve Hebert: Are you sure? I heard a rumor on the internet about Morgy being persuaded by Tom Cruise to join.
Lex Robinson: Not true.
Steve Hebert: Really? Well then, maybe Stevie Swing is. I mean... being Jewish is the same as Scientology, isn't it? They both involve dragons flying to earth and kidnapping people, right? All around a Yamaka...?
Lex Robinson: What the hell are you rambling about?
Steve Hebert: Scientific fact, Lex!
Having been lambasted by Morgana and Stevie Swing, Casanova rolls off Declan. This allows for Stevie Swing to rise, quickly scale the corner and shoot off, looking for a split-legged moonsault. Seconds before the connection can be made, however; Declan rolls inward, moving towards the corner, letting Stevie miss her target.
Lex Robinson: Stevie misses... but she has the presence of mind to complete contort around, thus landing safely on her own two feet. Processing her thoughts quickly, Stevie connects with another seated-dropkick; this time squishing Declan against the middle turnbuckle pads.
Steve Hebert: Poor Declan, he has taken way too much punishment tonight.
Lex Robinson: It hasn't nearly been enough.
Stevie Swing soon stands to her feet, taking Declan up with her. Trying her best, she attempts to dump Declan over the ropes, but soon realizes pinning him would result in a World Title win. Coincidentally, this allows Stevie to step back and wait for Declan to turn around...
Steve Hebert: That cunt is up to something, now.
Lex Robinson: It appears she's getting her foot ready. Mayhaps for some more "Last Dancing"?
Steve Hebert: God, I fucking hope not.
Lex Robinson: There she goes, she leaps towards Declan and...
Steve Hebert: He ducks! Declan ducks to safety, leaving Stevie's leg wrapped around the top rope. Using all of his might, Declan latches onto Stevie and then dumps her over the top rope...
Lex Robinson: But not to the floor. As it goes, Stevie wraps both of her legs around the top rope, hanging upside-down, trying not to fall out, despite Declan's best efforts at trying to wrangle her legs apart.
Vehemently trying to pry Stevie's legs away from the ropes, Declan doesn't notice Morgy come up behind him and dropkick him from behind. This is almost enough to send him sailing over the top rope, but he manages to hang on and diffuse his focus from Stevie to Morgy.
Steve Hebert: That bitch doesn't realize what she's just done. She's awakened a monster!
Lex Robinson: A monster that's having trouble moving, that is.
Steve Hebert: He probably has a concussion; how can you blame him?!
Lex Robinson: Blood pours down his face and into his mouth as he goes to grab onto Morgana. Aware of this, Morgy ducks beneath his grasps, turns around and starts kicking him repeatedly, while Stevie Swing manages to pull herself back into the ring.
Steve Hebert: Sliding underneath the bottom rope, too. She joins Morgana in pounding Declan... only to be struck with a running-kick to the gut from Casanova, who quickly hoists Stevie up into a reverse fireman's carry position...
Lex Robinson: Casanova drops Stevie down with a Burning Hammer!
Steve Hebert: Yes! Cover that filthy dyke, you retarded Halloween costume gone wrong.
Lex Robinson: He rolls atop of Stevie Swing...
The count is made...
...1...2...
Lex Robinson: No! Morgy delivers a moonsault double-stomp onto Casanova's back, breaking the count!
Steve Hebert: She only did it after Declan put his knee in her gut and held her up for a powerbomb. Ol' Pinky then decides she's going to have none of that, thus deciding she's going to flip backward and land on that silly vampire.
Lex Robinson: Unbelievable...!
Languishing in the corner, Morgana ascends to her feet, letting Casanova stand, as well. When the time is perfect, she lurches out and performs a tilt-a-whirl headscissors on him, trying for her "Happiness in Slavery" move again.
Lex Robinson: Morgy rotates around Casanova...
Steve Hebert: No, wait...
Lex Robinson: As she twists around, she reaches out and grabs onto a now standing Declan Turner. Wrapping her left arm around his head, she proceeds to rotate around him, even kicking off Stevie Swing's chest to torpedo back! Still with Declan's head tucked between her armpit, she uses her legs to reach out and grab onto Casanova's head!
Steve Hebert: What the Jesus?!
Lex Robinson: She brings both Declan and Casanova down -- Declan with a swinging DDT; and Casanova with a headscissors takedown!
Steve Hebert: It's like she wears moonshoes. Is she wearing moonshoes, Lex?! Is she?!
Lex Robinson: It's like she's walking on the moon!
Not liking being brought down, Casanova springs up and charges towards Morgana, hoping to clothesline her down. As usual, Morgana is two-steps ahead of him.
Lex Robinson: Morgana drops down, pulling down the top rope with her...
This makes Casanova accidentally fall over the ropes, crash on the apron and then fall out to the floor!
Lex Robinson: Casanova is out!
Steve Hebert: That lucky bitch!
On his knees on the floor, Casanova is wide-eyed and can't believe he has been eliminated. Even so, he gracefully stands to his feet and walks to the back, trying to digest his elimination.
Lex Robinson: We're down to three!
Steve Hebert: Thank god. The sooner it's over, the sooner I can drive to McDonalds and get something to eat.
Lex Robinson: We're only down to one more person that can repeat as Sin Trophy winner. The other person, Casanova, was just taken out by Morgana, who is also the last person possible to repeat. Can she do it?
Steve Hebert: Odds are on "no".
In one corner, Stevie Swing gets to her feet, watching as Morgana uses the ropes to aide her in standing.
Steve Hebert: It's ironic that these three just got through a grueling match, too. Yet here they are, in another. It's retarded.
Lex Robinson: We have Morgana with a busted nose and an injured back... Stevie Swing with blood pouring from his right arm, with a possible concussion; and Declan Turner, who still have a tiny flow of blood trickling down his face. I do believe this is the bloodiest, most beaten-up final three we've ever had in Over The Top Rope history.
Steve Hebert: Needs more zambonis, in my honest opinion.
Pulling himself up, Declan looks across the ring at Morgana, who is holding her lower back, barely able to stand. Thinking quickly, he charges across the ring...
Lex Robinson: Morgana drops down, trying the same trick she pulled with Casanova!
Steve Hebert: Declan Turner isn't that dumb. That same trick isn't going to work twice. Why? Because Declan stops just short of her and unloads with some very unpleasant stomps! She had it coming. She has to be retarded to actually think that would have been successful.
Lex Robinson: Hey, you gotta do what you gotta do. Sometimes those things work, other times they don't. She took a risk, and she'll have to pay for it.
Steve Hebert: Damn right she'll have to pay for it. Declan is relentless in kicking and stomping her. He lifts her up, hits a roaring-elbow that knocks her against the ropes and takes a few steps back, looking to clothesline her over the top rope.
Lex Robinson: Racing forward, he is caught completely off-guard by Stevie Swing, who jumps out of nowhere, connecting with a spin-wheel kick, knocking Declan off his feet!
Steve Hebert: Goddamnit! It happens again! Declan really needs to leave his eyes open for that twat.
Trying to stand before Stevie can get to a standing base, Declan meets ultimate failure, as he walks straight into a kick to the stomach from the transgendered Dancing King Queen.
Lex Robison: Stevie with a kick... and she bounces off the adjacent set of ropes, leaps into the air and plants her right foot behind Declan's skull, sending his face into the canvas!
Steve Hebert: That was like... some sort of curbstomp! Poor little Declan.
Lex Robinson: "Poor little Declan" is currently being covered.
Steve Hebert: Ah, fuck.
Stevie Swing casually lays on Declan, looking for the pinfall...
...1...2...
Steve Hebert: Holy balls, wait! Morgana crawls over, grabs onto Stevie's foot and yanks her off! Catfight! Rip her shirt off! Punch her in the tits! Someone spread their asshole right now.
Lex Robinson: Calm down, Steve.
Stevie and Morgy share an awkward look, with both of them standing up, questioning the other.
Steve Hebert: Punch each other... do something!
Lex Robinson: Declan is doing something. Even though he's obviously dizzy, Declan moves from a kneeling position and lunges towards both women...
Steve Hebert: Hah! He pushes them together. As Stevie bounces off Morgy, Declan spears her from behind, dropping her front-first onto the canvas! He then arises, glaring hard at Morgy, who jumps at him, trying for a body-scissors into a rollup...
Lex Robinson: He catches her, though. In turn, he turns around and wheelbarrow suplexes her! He proceeds to roll over, trying to Okana Roll her, pushing her legs down to her chest! He demands a three-count be made!
Steve Hebert: It's all she wrote for Morgy!
As expected, the count is made...
...1...
Steve Hebert: Come on...!
...2...
Lex Robinson: No! Morgy uses what little strength she has remaining in her legs to propel Declan forward, sending him straight towards a kneeling Stevie Swing, who lowblows Declan!
Steve Hebert: How cheap! Disqualify her!
Lex Robinson: I thought you were pro-lowblows.
Steve Hebert: No, I said I was "pro-being blown", dummy.
Lex Robinson: Ah, I see.
With Declan hunched over, holding his midsection, it gives Stevie and Morgana proper time for them to regain their footing. In doing so, they notice Declan hunched over by the ropes, with dastardly thoughts pluming through their mind.
Lex Robinson: As a unit, Stevie and Morgy charge at Declan... and they double-dropkick him! That sends Declan up-and-over the top rope!
Steve Hebert: He lands on the apron! He's still in it, though!
Lex Robinson: We'll see about that...
Noticing Declan stand on the apron, both ladies run to adjacent corners. At exactly the same time, they spring back, connecting with a dropkick to a now standing Declan Turner, a total of 4 feet striking him, knocking him off the apron -- landing on the floor!
Lex Robinson: Declan Turner is out!
Steve Hebert: What the fuck?!
Lex Robinson: He has been eliminated!
Steve Hebert: No goddamn way! Well, at least he still has the World Title!
On the outside, Declan Turner pitches a fit. He tries re-entering, but the referees will have none of that. The proverbial case of karma has boomeranged completely around, smashing him in the face, prompting a wave of angst to wash all over him.
Lex Robinson: Get him out of there. It's down to the final two.
Before leaving, Declan picks up the Sin Trophy that's on the announcer's table and spits on it.
Lex Robinson: Ugh... what a bastard.
Showing no class whatsoever, Declan grabs his World Title, hangs it over his right shoulder and retreats to the back, receiving constant jeers from the fans.
Lex Robinson: With that asshole gone, we can finally concentrate on the final two -- Morgana and Stevie Swing.
Steve Hebert: How disappointing. I want to hang myself.
Lex Robinson: Go right ahead. No one's stopping you.
Steve Hebert: Not even you?!
Lex Robinson: Definitely not me.
The final two competitors climb to their feet, going face-to-face with each other, much to the delight of the crowd. Circling one another, both bruised, bloodied and beaten combatants, look for an opening, but still respect another enough to not brutalize each other.
Lex Robinson: Here we go, Steve; they're about to lock-up.
Steve Hebert: Big deal. I have more important things to worry about... like the cost of a Big Mac.
Lex Robinson: Gingerly, Stevie and Morgy tie-up, with Stevie sneaking behind Morgana, applying a waistlock. Morgy, feeling the pain in her back, finds it extremely difficult to maneuver her way out of this; but nevertheless, she sits on her rear, escaping Stevie's hold.
Steve Hebert: Pffft.
Lex Robinson: Leaning back, she uses her legs to wrap around Stevie's body, looking to roll him up, but Stevie is very aware of this. Some quick thinking prepares Stevie to leap over Morgana's legs, roll through and stand to her feet. She waits for Morgana to stand, also, then decides to make a run at her...
Steve Hebert: Meh... a clothesline attempt from Stevie, but Morgy ducks it. Big whoop.
Lex Robinson: Stevie continues into the next set of ropes, bouncing back and leaps over a sprawling Morgana, who does a split, enabling Stevie to jump over her.
Steve Hebert: Now that was kind of hot.
Lex Robinson: Of course, this means Stevie goes into the ropes again. Bouncing back, running into Morgana's feet, Stevie is flipped forward, sending her across the ring. Right away, both ladies pop up and charge at each other... armdrag by Morgy... armdrag by Stevie... armdrag by Morgy... and now a hip-toss attempt from Stevie Swing.
Steve Hebert: Jesus, calm down, whores.
Lex Robinson: The hip-toss doesn't work. Working in her favour, Morgana spins Stevie around and goes for a backslide. She has it...
Steve Hebert: End this shit right now.
The referee counts Stevie's shoulders down...
...1...2...
Lex Robinson: Stevie rolls out!
Not only does she roll out, but she also props herself up and performs a backslide of her own.
Lex Robinson: Now it's Stevie's time for a backslide attempt!
Again, the count is on...
...1...2...
Lex Robinson: This time, it's Morgy that kicks out! She flips Stevie over, allowing her to place her feet over Stevie's shoulders, looking for another pinfall...
The referee counts...
...1...2...
...
Steve Hebert: Stevie bridges up to her feet. Okay, I gotta give props to that.
Lex Robinson: On her feet, with Morgy's arms wrapped around her, Stevie goes for a Northern Lights Suplex, complete with a bridge...!
The referee notices Morgana's arms pinned to the canvas, thus begins counting again.
Steve Hebert: Here we go again...
...1...2...
Lex Robinson: Morgana kicks out, yet again! Holy God!
Much like Stevie before her, Morgy bridges her way up to her feet, her arms wrapped around Stevie's waist. Out of nowhere, she hits a sunset-flip piledriver, which drives Stevie Swing's head directly into the canvas!
Steve Hebert: What the...? Holy crap.
Lex Robinson: See? Things are good, Steve. Morgana just hit a flipping-piledriver o Stevie Swing, for crying out loud.
Steve Hebert: She needs to cover her, though, if she wants to get the win!
Lex Robinson: Very astute.
Much to Steve's words, Morgana crawls towards Stevie, placing her left arm over Stevie Swing's chest. This obviously gets the referee counting...
...1...
Lex Robinson: One...!
...2...
Lex Robinson: Two...
Steve Hebert: She's going to do it! She's going to repeat!
...
Lex Robinson: No! At the very last second, Stevie Swing gets her shoulder off the mat!
Steve Hebert: Holy Christ on a cracker, that was close!
Lex Robinson: Absolutely exhausted and sucking up oxygen like a vacuum, both ladies get to their feet, receiving a standing ovation from the fans. Using ropes on opposite sides of the ring, they slowly rise, trying hard to stay afloat.
Steve Hebert: Someone's going to die. Simple as that.
Again, both ladies step toward each other, with Stevie applying a headlock. Finding an opening, Morgana swings around Stevie, only to sadly walk into a scoop-slam. Following up, Stevie Swing goes for a standing Shooting Star Press, but Morgana moves...
Lex Robinson: Morgana rolls to safety... but Stevie lands safely on her feet, too! Amazing!
Steve Hebert: She goes to follow up with a Shining Wizard to Morgy, but halts at the lasr second. Thanks to this stupidity, Morgana is able to sweep Stevie's feet out from under her, prompting the pink-haired bitch to stand up and try for her own standing Shooting Star Press...
Lex Robinson: Stevie Swing rolls to safety, now!
Steve Hebert: And just like Stevie, Morgana lands on her feet. Stevie stands...
Lex Robinson: Morgana races toward her...
Steve Hebert: Stevie Swing goes for "The Last Dance" superkick!
Lex Robinson: Morgana sees it coming, though! She catches his foot, spins him around, grabs his head with a front-facelock and goes for a Tornado-DDT...
Steve Hebert: Stevie scouts this out, also. These cunts know each other too much!
Lex Robinson: It's true. Thanks to that, Stevie pushes Morgana back, throwing her onto her feet. Trying to follow up, Morgana charges back in, going at full-speed. However, Stevie moves to the right, allowing Morgana to climb the turnbuckle pads and moonsault back, contorting her body around so that she lands in front of Stevie. Sensing an opening, Morgana applies a 3/4 facelock... and goes for the Fata Morgana!
Steve Hebert: Stevie holds her ground, though. She backs up, sending Morgy over the top rope... but Morgy lands on her feet on the apron! Good lord.
Lex Robinson: Knowing Morgy is in prime position to be eliminated, Stevie Swing jumps back with a backflip-kick... but misses, as Morgana leans back, holding onto the top rope to keep her balance.
Steve Hebert: Well Jesus.
Holding her ribs, Stevie rises and stumbles into the middle of the ring. Morgana decides to take advantage of this by springboarding off the top rope, sending her flying across the ring.
Lex Robinson: Turning around at the right time, Stevie Swing ducks underneath a flying attack from Morgana, rolls through between her legs and instantly pops up to her feet.
Steve Hebert: Christ, this is nuts... and I still want a Big Mac!
Standing next to the ropes, Stevie turns around and realizes that Morgy is rushing back at her. Unable to move out of the way, Stevie uses the only idea she can muster up -- she ducks down.
Lex Robinson: Stevie Swing backdrops Morgana over the top rope...!
Steve Hebert: She's hanging on! Like before, Morgana is hanging onto the top rope, trying to... uh... drown a cat... or whatever you said it was.
Lex Robinson: She's skinning the cat! She's pulling herself back up, hoping to get back inside... wait...!
In the center of the ring, Stevie, who thought she had won, sees Morgana trying to re-enter. A burst of emotion pervades Stevie, and all brain signals point to one course of action.
Lex Robinson: Stevie bursts forward and connects with "The Last Dance" superkick to Morgana, who's upside-down, trying to climb back inside...!
Steve Hebert: That knocks Morgana off the apron! She falls to the floor! Holy Jesus, this match is over!
Lex Robinson: Stevie wins! Stevie wins! Stevie Swing has won this match! Stevie Swing is the 2008 Sin Trophy winner! She goes into the record books; and she gets to book herself into whatever match she wants at Vanity, the next Sin Wrestling pay per view!
Steve Hebert: Well, son of a bitch... or is she a daughter of a bitch? What the hell is she, Lex?
The announcer's audio feed is cut off, as the attention turns toward Stevie Swing, who is in the middle of the ring, on her knees, holding her hands in the air. Blod continues to drip down her right arm, but that doesn't bother her -- victory belongs to her, with the fans pouring much praise onto her.
Just then, Morgana slides back inside, holding her back and holding the Sin Trophy. Looking quite agitated and annoyed, Morgana feigns signs of anguish at Stevie... only to then hand over the Sin Trophy and hug her.
Before exiting the ring, Morgana holds Stevie Swing's left hand in the air, points at her and makes sure all glory is on her. The final shot of the night is that of Stevie Swing holding the Sin Trophy above her head, basking in delight.
Fade out.
Winner: Stevie Swing