"A Torch to End All Torches" by Thrice begis playing and the opening for tonight's show rolls. Split-screen images of various wrestlers, including Morgana and Corey Ashton; Chris Carson and Stevie Swing; and Crux and Roxy Erikson are shown. Finally, the image of Declan Turner shooting Casanova from the last Eternity event is shown.
As the image fades out, the words "Over The Top Rope 5: Unfinished Business" rolls onto the screen. Tonight's event is officially ready to begin.
Steve Hebert: That's right, Corey Page has the World Title match as the opener! Has he gone batty, or is it so stupid it's brilliant?
Lex Robinson: We'll see, Steve!
The sound of a car engine starting revs onto the speakers and roars from acceleration, transitioning into the opening of Rev Theory's "Kill the Headlights". The reverb from the guitar coincides with a glow from the SinTron that slowly intensifies and spells out "CREEP" in headlights.
Lex Robinson: Here comes your World Champion, hailing from Boston and weighing in at 240 pounds...
The crowd is on its feet as Chris Carson come out onto the entrance stage, his son sitting atop his shoulders! With the World Title around his waist, Carson throws up his right hand, index finger and pinky extended at to the side like a "C". The headlights behind him throb to the music as Carson walks to the ring, slapping hands with the fans as Junior waves to them.
Lex Robinson: "The Creep"...CHRIS...CARSON!
Just kill the headlights
Kill the headlights
I want you to see all that's inside
You'll get where you want
Take your hands off the wheel
You've got all you need on the inside
Just kill the headlights
Turn the radio up
Carson makes his way around the ring, where he puts Junior in a front row seat, next to his mother. He then climbs into the ring and removes his belt, mounting the turnbuckles and lifting his title with a roar. He flashes the horns once again to the crowd, then retreats to other corner, stretching out, glaring intently toward the entrance.
Lex Robinson: Chris Carson doesn't look like he's in the mood to deal with any shenanigans tonight!
Steve Hebert: He's the kind of old fart who gets pissy when kids walk on his petunias. You can imagine what kind of mood Jewish lesbians put him in.
Lex Robinson: This is a little too personal to be simply about Jews and lesbians. Stevie Swing burned his house down, and almost killed his son, in the process.
The lights plunge into complete darkness, sending the fans at ringside into a total frenzy. Some flip open their cell phones, others hold their lighters up, all trying to get a glimpse of what’s going on. After about a minute of total black, Rihanna’s “Disturbia” begins to blare through the house speakers, accompanied by a deep red strobe light.
Lex Robinson: And the challenger, from Chicago, weighing 135 pounds...
Bum bum be-dum bum bum be- dum bum
What’s wrong with me?
Bum bum be-dum bum bum be- dum bum
Why do I feel like this?
Bum bum be-dum bum bum be- dum bum
I’m going crazy now.
The arena goes dark again, and the fans continue to go crazy, only now their response is overwhelmingly negative. A spotlight shines onto the ramp, revealing the now famous pink glass and tissue paper vagina with its familiar silhouette.
The music kicks on again, and the spotlight is replaced by the deep red strobe from before. Stevie Swing bursts through the vagina, as Rihanna sings and the fans boo and throw their garbage at her. The Ironwoman of Sin Wrestling pays them no attention, strutting down to the ring in her moon boots and ring jacket.
Lex Robinson: ...STEVIE SWING!
Put on your pretty lies, you're in the city of wonder
Ain't gon' play nice, watch out you might just go under
Better think twice, your train of thought will be altered
So if you must falter be wise
Your mind's in Disturbia, it's like the darkness is light
Disturbia, am I scaring you tonight?
Disturbia, ain't used to what you like
Disturbia, disturbia.
Disturbia, am I scaring you tonight?
Disturbia, ain't used to what you like
Disturbia, disturbia.
Lex Robinson: Look at how she's staring at the Creep! He's all that's standing between her and another World Title reign!
Steve Hebert: And she sure as hell won't hesitate to beat the old out of him to get it.
Stevie slides into the ring, popping up onto her knees at the center of it. While the crowd continues to boo at a deafening level, Stevie disrobes, revealing her attire—red bellbottom wrestling tights and a spandex halter top to match.
She dances around the ring, in a jerky style that befits her theme music, as fireworks go off behind her. As the music fades, she steps over to the corner opposite Carson's, and matches his cold stare with her own.
Lex Robinson: You can feel the tension, the crowd is going wild as the bell rings! The match is underway!
Steve Hebert: So... what the hell are they doing?
Neither competitor moves for what seems like a long while, as the crowd gets louder and louder. Gradually, a chant builds up, overwhelming all other sounds, and feeling as if it's shaking the ground. With the cadence of an old Goldberg chant, the entire area seems to resonate...
...CAAAAAAR-SON!
...CAAAAAAR-SON!
Lex Robinson: I can barely hear myself think!
Steve Hebert: I'm sure Carson can, he probably forgot his hearing aids.
Finally, they step from their corners, and begin to slowly circle each other in the middle of the ring. Swing seems entirely unfazed by the raucous audience noise, and Carson apparently unaffected by it either, the two continuing to stare daggers at each other.
Lex Robinson: And they finally meet with a grapple! No! Swing busts a knee into Carson's abdomen, and clamps a side-headlock on the Creep!
Steve Hebert: Outclassed from the get-go, see? She's heading for the corner, climbing up, looking for a big spinning.. .uh, one of those faceplant things...
Lex Robinson: It's called a bulldog, Steve. But no! Carson shoves her off, dropping her to her bottom in the middle of the ring!
Chris Carson heads right after Swing, looking to push his advantage, but Swing jabs him in the throat, staggering him back and giving her time to get to her feet.
Lex Robinson: Swing advances on Carson, but he catches an axe kick aimed straight for his head! He steps back, yanking her toward him by the leg and clobbers her with a short-arm clothesline. Locking her in an armbar, he straddles her, pushing all of his weight down on her shoulder and arm!
Steve Hebert: Can I start the first "BOR-ING!" chant of the night?
Lex Robinson: Get over yourself, Steve, this is a World Title match.
Steve Hebert: Needs more hitting... and punching... and kicking! Yes, more kicks is what we need.
Stevie Swing fights mightily, making her way back to her feet, before flipping over Carson, countering her way out of the armbar. She bashes a forearm into Carson's lower back, before spin kicking him right in the back of the head.
Steve Hebert: Dear god, she's going to beat Carson so bad he forgets his grandkids' names!
Lex Robinson: He doesn't have grandkids, Steve, he's younger than you are! Stevie looks for the quick finish, wrapping Carson up with a Majistral Cradle!
...1...
Lex Robinson: One... tw--...
Steve Hebert: Hell no!
...KICKOUT!
Lex Robison: Chris Carson breaks free right before the two count!
The two are quickly back to their feet, and Stevie Swing bounces to the ropes, returning with a corkscrew crossbody that drops Carson to the mat!
Steve Hebert: Now the pain is coming! She's atop him and clawing and punching him, even grabbing him by the hair and banging his head against the mat! That's what I want to see!
Lex Robinson: She feels like Carson's the main factor behind her losing that title, and this is her big chance for vengeance!
Steve Hebert: And she's not passing up on any chance for it! Stomp-after-stomp on Carson, and now she puts a boot on Carson's knee, and lifts it up, before stomping down! And again!
Lex Robinson: This is wise on Swing's part. Carson may not be that old, but he's older than most of the Sin roster, and as such, his knees are likely going to be an easier target than on most competitors.
Stevie steps back from her attacks, as Carson crawls toward the edge of the ring. Swing suddenly charges forward, and with a low-dropkick dumps Carson right through the bottom rope and outside the ring! Out here, "The Creep" rolls on the ground, in pain, as Stevie suddenly rears back, bouncing off the ropes, and launches over the ropes with a somersault plancha that crashes right across Carson!
Lex Robinson: That's some high risk aerial offense from Stevie Swing, and it looks like she's paying for it, as well, clutching her head, which appeared to catch part of the ground as she landed across Carson.
Steve Hebert: She could be concussed! Dear God, can you imagine if we have to deal with Chris Carson winning this match and remaining champion?!
Lex Robinson: I wouldn't have a problem with that, Steve. Carson's the best champion Sin Wrestling's had in a while now. He goes out there, every show, no matter whether the title's on the line or not, no matter who he's facing, and throws down his A game, every night.
Steve Hebert: That's why he's 35 going on 67. He's burnt out, old news. His time is up.
Stevie Swing finally gets to her feet, with Carson still barely getting up, much to the chagrin of the fans. She kicks him across the ribs over and over, before lifting him to his feet and whipping him toward the ring steps!
Lex Robinson: Carson crashes into the steps, back first with a clang! You can hear the audience cringe!
Steve Hebert: Look at him! Like I said; he's done! Put a fork in him! He's slumped against the steps, just about knocked out!
Lex Robinson: Carson's survived worse, Steve... but I think Swing has worse things in mind for sure! She steps back and charges... and slams a Yakuza kick right into Carson's head, which was already right against the stairs! That's not wrestling, that's attempted murder!
Steve Hebert: Did you see the stairs jolt back? Wow... I think the Creep might actually be dead! If we're lucky, that is. And if old age hasn't already caught up with him.
Stevie Swing leans against the ring apron, still holding her head, but showing a grin for the fans, who drown any other sound out with intense boos. She even points to Junior and then to his dad, taunting him, as random garbage begins to flood the area, fans beginning to rain plastic cups and popcorn boxes down on Swing and the area around her for her antics.
Steve Hebert: How can they treat the next SW World Champion like this?!
Lex Robinson: Swing hasn't exactly endeared herself to them, really. She stops flaunting, anyway, as she realizes the referee is going to count them both out in a few seconds, and she can't win a title that way.
Steve Hebert: She drags the Creep to his feet... and slides him into the ring! Can you believe it, Lex? We're watching Swing step back on top of the mountain!
The crowd rains boos down as Swing hooks a leg for the cover with one hand, and counts along with the referee with her free hand!
...1...
Lex Robinson: One...
...2...
Lex Robinson: Two...
...
Steve Hebert: Argh! No! The referee stops the count!
Stevie Swing is holding up three fingers, but the referee's shaking her off and points behind her...
Lex Robinson: Chris Carson grabbed the bottom rope! He's not out of it yet, Steve!
Steve Hebert: Bah! It's just a matter of time now!
Stevie shakes her head, clearly irritated, as Chris Carson begins to slowly lift himself off the mat, with help from the ropes. She helps him the rest of the way up, before ducking toward him and flipping upward into a hurricanrana position, atop his shoulders!
Steve Hebert: But the Creep drops her throat-first across the top ropes! How did that happen? He's back on the mat already, he looks like he's still doesn't know where he is!
The crowd stands to their, applauding as Stevie snaps back, in a world of hurt.
Lex Robinson: As always, Steve, you aren't giving Carson the credit he's due. He's definitely got the long odds at the moment, but he's not out of it at all yet.
Steve Hebert: Ughhhh...
Chris Carson crawls across the middle of the ring, finally getting to his knees, only for Swing to have collected herself again, and sets him up for a swinging neckbreaker!
Lex Robinson: Stevie is actually up before "The Creep"... wait... wait...
Steve Hebert: Carson shifts his weight against her, though, and breaks her grasp! Son of a...
He grabs a handful of her hair and flings himself backward to the mat, sending Stevie flying over him and crashing face-first into the second turnbuckle!
Steve Hebert: Now who's fighting dirty, Lex? Come on, admit you're a hypocrite about this kind of thing!
Lex Robinson: I'll admit it, alright, but it's because I think if you almost kill someone's son, you damn well have some bad things coming to you! Now Swing's getting choked out in the corner by Carson! The referee's counting... and Carson breaks on the five count, almost getting disqualified! I may not like the tactics, Steve, but I'm not going to hold it against Carson, given the circumstances.
Steve Hebert: Sure, Lex, whatever. Chris Carson defending his title with a disqualification loss would add SO MUCH prestige to this place, wouldn't it? God, I still tell my parents that I work the glory hole down on the corner of 7th and Main, anything before I admit I'm in the wrestling business.
Lex Robinson: How do they not know, Steve? You live with them.
Steve Hebert: I live a dirty lie, Lex.
Carson throws a few kicks at Swing in the corner, before grabbing her by the hair yet again, and beginning to smack her head against the top turnbuckle, as the audience counts along!
Crowd: 1...2...3...
Steve Hebert: No, no, no! Stop it!
...4...5...6...
Steve Hebert: This is awful!
...7...8...9...
Steve Hebert: This is hurt-tastic!
Before they get to ten, Carson yanks Swing's head back a final time, points to Junior and then throws the Carson sign up with his hand, before banging Swing's head against the turnbuckle for the tenth time!
Steve Hebert: This is... this is...
...10!
Lex Robinson: ...ten!
Steve Hebert: Stop counting along, Lex. You're pathetic.
Lex Robinson: Sorry, spur of the moment. Carson takes a moment to catch his breath, as Swing staggers away from the corner, almost out on her feet...
Carson turns to Stevie, and somehow catches a Last Dance superkick to the jaw!
Lex Robinson: Somehow, Swing finds the mark with the Last Dance! She and Carson both hit the ground though, can she follow up with a cover?
Steve Hebert: Come on, Stevie, you're three seconds from the title, just make the cover!
The audience noise drops to almost nothing as Carson eats the superkick, but they seem to come back alive as it becomes apparent that Stevie isn't able to immediately cover him. The Carson chants return in full force, but he barely moves, as Swing finally crawls over and throws herself across him!
...1...
Steve Hebert: She's going to do it!
...2...
Steve Hebert: We're gonna have a new World Champion...!
...
Lex Robinson: No! Kickout! The fans are on their feet! Chris Carson fights out of another Swing cover! Stevie looks like she didn't really expect to win with that cover after that delay, though.
Stevie slowly gets to her feet, and sits Carson up, before kicking him across the back, resonating like a whip crack over the audience! Carson cringes in pain, only for Swing to follow it up with a devastating kick from the opposite direction, right across his face! With the Creep clutching his face in pain, Stevie drags him over to the nearest corner and slides out of the ring.
Steve Hebert: She's going back to work on the knees, smashing the Creep's legs against the ring post!
Lex Robinson: And now she's locked him up in a modified figure-four leglock around the ring post! Carson's howling in pain, but the referee's calling for her to break the hold! She's holding on... and breaks on the four count, not wanting to chance the disqualification!
Steve Hebert: I'm sure the damage is done, Lex. Carson's gonna need new knees to match his hips soon.
Swing slides into the ring to break the count, then heads right back out to continue bashing Carson's knees against the ring post. She switches to throwing elbows against his knees, when Carson finally manages to slide back a bit, breaking up her attacks.
Lex Robinson: Stevie's trying to pull him back into the corner... but the Creep pushes himself the same way, and kicks her back into the guardrail! She's favoring her back, but she's already coming back snarling, looking to cripple Carson!
Steve Hebert: He reaches through the ropes and grabs her hair, banging her head against the ring post! Carson's never known how to treat a lady, now, has he?
Lex Robinson: Stevie Swing spent the majority of her career pretending to be a man. She can take the heat.
Chris Carson rolls out of the ring, barely able to walk without support, but he makes his way over to the guardrail where Swing slumps. The referee starts the count on them.
...1...2...
Carson leans against the rail for support, and clubs her across the face with a forearm! Another big windup... and a big right fist clobbers Swing in the jaw!
Steve Hebert: He's just trying to get them counted out, I swear it!
...3...4...
Lex Robinson: I think he's trying to mash Stevie's lips through her teeth. Just my guess, really.
Steve Hebert: Shot after shot, Stevie's getting pulverized!
...5...6...
Chris Carson tucks his head under Stevie's arm, and pulls him away from the guardrail. He nearly tumbles over, but manages to catch his weight against the ring apron, and charges, ramming Swing's back into the guardrail with their combined weight!
Lex Robinson: The Creep quickly rolls back in the ring, indeed, it does look like he'll settle for a countout! With his knees in the shape they're in, it might be one of his only decent options!
...7...
Stevie Swing collapses to the ground, arching her back in pain. Carson finally claws his way to his feet with the help of the ring ropes, and glares down at Swing with a vengeful look, and spits on her!
...8...
Steve Hebert: Come on, Stevie, it can't end like this! Get up, get back in there!
Lex Robinson: It does seem a little anticlimactic, but...well, Swing really did a number on Carson and that's clearly forcing his hand.
...9...
Swing gets to her knees, trying desperately to shake the cobwebs, clutching at the ring apron!
Lex Robinson: Last call, Stevie...
Steve Hebert: Oh God... oh God...
The referee holds a hand out toward Swing, ready to raise it for the tenth time...
...
...and Stevie slides into the ring at the last moment!
Steve Hebert: We can still end the Chris Carson era tonight!
Lex Robinson: It might end either competitors' "era," though. If Swing loses this, there's no guaranteed rematch to follow, and if Carson loses...well, even if Carson wins, who knows how much more his knees can take.
Stevie is slow to her feet, but soon enough she's back up, and staring down Carson, who leans against the ropes opposite her in the ring. The crowd noise grows loud again as the two slowly step toward each other, as if a fresh start to the match, albeit with tremendous damage to both competitors. Carson moves to lock up with Swing, but she ducks, sliding right under him. Carson drops quickly though, and squishes her right on the mat, quickly clamping on the Silencer!
Lex Robinson: What a sudden turn of events! The Silencer is locked, this could be the end for Stevie Swing!
Steve Hebert: She's struggling, she hasn't given up! With his knees in their current condition, Carson might not be able to put as much pressure on her back as he normally would!
Lex Robinson: That's a good point, Steve! It does look like Stevie's fighting it pretty hard... is she ready to tap? She looks like she's almost there...
Steve Hebert: Come on, Stevie, don't do it!
Stevie Swing's hand reaches for the nearest rope, but comes up empty. She holds her hand over the mat, looking as if she's just about to tap... when she suddenly jerks her arms forward, breaking Carson's grip, and sliding out from under him!
Lex Robinson: So close... so f'n close!
He staggers forward, and from the ground she kicks him in the ass, which causes him to smash his face into the corner turnbuckle!
Steve Hebert: Back and forth...my blood pressure is through the roof!
Lex Robinson: You know what would help with that? Not being such a blatant fanboy, Hebes.
Steve Hebert: I prefer the term "emotionally invested."
Carson tumbles through the ropes, falling clumsily onto the ring steps and then down them. Stevie Swing slowly crawls out of the ring, as well, clearly pained but equally as determined to finish Carson's reign off tonight.
Lex Robinson: These guys can't stay in the ring tonight at all, can they?
Steve Hebert: No, not at all. It's not even planned, though, it just looks like they keep ending up out there by accident.
Lex Robinson: Very true. Chris Carson still isn't moving after tumbling down those ring steps, and Swing's now lifting him back to his feet. He whips him around in a wide circle... and Carson crashes over the steps again, his knees now taking the brunt of the hit!
Steve Hebert: Put him out of his misery, Swing. Kill him! He's old, he's decrepit, let him die in a championship match!
Lex Robinson: Swing might have that in mind! Carson's crawled over to the guardrail, which he leans against, bellowing in pain, while Stevie steps away, way back across the side of the ring.
Steve Hebert: He's getting right up in Junior's face! She's screaming that she's going to cripple his dad, and then come back for Junior! Oh my...
Lex Robinson: Holy crap, has Steve Hebert found a line he won't cross?
Steve Hebert: I don't know, Lex. That's...just not right.
Carson's in agony, as Swing charges at him! She leaps at the last second, a knee smash aimed right at Carson's skull!
Lex Robinson: Carson shoves off the guardrail at the last second, and sidesteps Swing! He catches her with a full nelson and lunges backward...DRAGON SUPLEX INTO THE GUARDRAIL! STEVIE SWING SHOULD BE DEAD!
Steve Hebert: Holy shit! That was like watching a car accident!
Chris Carson sits up, grinning from the "Holy Shit!" chants that resonate through the audience. He surveys the wreckage, with Swing slumped against the guardrail... and drags her slowly, painfully, back into the ring!
Lex Robinson: This might not be a wise choice, the countout isn't the most honorable of wins, but there is no way Stevie gets in by the ten count there.
Steve Hebert: You're right there. Carson just wants to personally deliver the end, I think.
"The Creep" goes for the cover!
...1...
Lex Robinson: There's one...!
...2...
Lex Robinson: ...two...
...
Lex Robinson: ...no...!
...KICKOUT!
Steve Hebert: Stevie's alive!
Lex Robinson: I did not see that coming! How did Stevie get a shoulder up?!
Steve Hebert: It's called the heart of a champion. That's how things like that happen.
Lex Robinson: If you ask me, Chris Carson still fighting, while barely able to walk, that's the heart of a champion.
Chris Carson slowly gets to his feet, using the time to rub his knees, trying to loosen them up some. After a moment, though, he lifts Stevie to her feet, and bellows to the crowd that it's time for the Wifebeater! He lifts her with the vertical suplex...
Lex Robinson: No! Stevie slides behind Carson, applies a reverse-facelock and brings him down with a reverse-DDT!
Steve Hebert: Yes! She covers that old dirtbag!
The count is made...
...1...2...
Lex Robinson: Only a two!
Steve Hebert: Ah, fuck me silly. Two and a half, to be exact! Half a second away from the World Title changing hands on the first show of a pay-per-view!
Lex Robinson: Amazing, isn't it, Steve? I never would've imagined that being possible.
Swing sits up in disbelief at Carson's kickout, and gets up as quickly as possible. Carson does the same, and unfortunately, between Stevie's head hits and Carson's damaged knees, it takes them almost ten seconds just to get up. Stevie advances on Carson again... and walks into a huge punch!
Lex Robinson: Pow!
Swing hits back!
Steve Hebert: There's a pow for you, too!
They're both reeling...and Carson strikes again!
Lex Robinson: They're trading blows, yet barely able to stand on their own! Whoa! Carson takes the advantage with a lower punch that looks like it took the wind right out of Swing! He lifts her quickly... C.C. Bomb!
Steve Hebert: Will this finally be the end? I sure as fuck hope not.
Lex Robinson: "The Creep" goes for the cover! The entire audience is counting along!
...1...
Lex Robinson: One...!
...2...
Lex Robinson: ...two...!
...
Lex Robinson: No!
Stevie Swing stays alive, as Chris Carson crawls away from the cover almost immediately, knowing he'll need to get to the ropes just to get up again!
Lex Robinson: The theme of this match seems to be that Chris Carson simply cannot defeat Stevie Swing! She survived the suplex to the guardrail! She survived the C.C. Bomb. She broke the Silencer. Does Chris Carson have anything left that can hope to take Stevie Swing out?!
Steve Hebert: I don't think so! I can say that honestly, not just as a Swing fan. If Swing is still moving after all of this...I don't think Carson can put her away.
Carson finally makes it to his feet, and steps toward Swing, who is barely stirring. He locks her up again, for what appears to be another C.C. Bomb! Up she goes...
Lex Robinson: Can she survive another?
Steve Hebert: I think so! I don't think Carson's got the strength left to make his arsenal really work anymore.
Lex Robinson: Quite possible, Steve. He's really stalling that suplex for a while...
Carson almost collapses, his knees clearly buckling under the weight. Suddenly, he shifts, and she drops toward the powerbomb ending... but Carson drops first, landing on his back with his knees tucked up as he barely guides her weight down. He screams in agony as Stevie Swing crashes in a modified C.C. Bomb right onto his locked knees!
Steve Hebert: Holy crap, I can't decide who that hurt more!
Lex Robinson: I have a feeling that was it for Carson. If he can't finish Stevie now...he's done. Those knees are beat for this match. He can only hope that Stevie's back is equally busted.
Stevie Swing's eyes are sealed with pain as she rolls on the mat. Carson sits close by, tears coming from the corners of his eyes as he pushes himself toward Stevie with his hands alone. He clumsily shifts his weight onto her...
Steve Hebert: THE SILENCER!
Lex Robinson: He can barely lock it on! He's just sitting on Stevie's back, his legs left straight, as he cranks back with pure upper body strength!
Steve Hebert: Stevie's still fighting it! After that insane...what the hell would you call that, Lex?
Lex Robinson: Umm... a C.C. Bomb to modified reverse lungblower... thing.
Steve Hebert: Who the what? Never mind. I just can't believe Stevie's still fighting!
Lex Robinson: You can see it in her eyes, she's gotta be thinking about tapping! I just don't know if she will before she figures a way out or a way to the ropes, something to escape!
Swing does fight mightily, even as the lower position of this Silencer almost completely limits her movement on the mat. She raises an arm to tap, but immediately pushes back against Carson and the mat, trying to escape as her strength fades and the agony grows!
Lex Robinson: At a certain point you have to think about your career, and not just the match!
Steve Hebert: I don't think that's how Stevie Swing operates!
Lex Robinson: She's obviously fading, she has to make the right call and stop this!
Steve Hebert: She's not ready to say goodbye to the World Title for the short term future, and I'm not ready to write off a Stevie Swing Renaissance yet either!
With a burst of strength, Stevie shoves hard with her arms...but the hold stays locked, and she isn't nearly close enough to the ropes! Her fighting seems to weaken noticably, as if that burst of strength was a last ditch effort.
Lex Robinson: Stevie's gone limp. The referee's checking... is this it?
Steve Hebert: Please no...?
The referee steps back, and calls for the bell!
Steve Hebert: Goodnight sweet princess...
Lex Robinson: Chris Carson wins by submission, as Stevie Swing is passed out!
Steve Hebert: She didn't tap, though! She never tapped!
Lex Robinson: And that showed some kind of courage there. But she blacked out in the Silencer, and that's all for this match! Possibly the greatest opener in Sin Wrestling history!
Steve Hebert: Possibly? It could've only been improved with a different finish... with the referee not robbing Stevie!
Chris Carson painfully slides out of the ring, where Junior runs to him bringing the World Title belt. "The Creep" lifts the belt high over his head, to the amazingly loud ovation from the audience, before hobbling back up the entrance, with Junior holding the title on his right, and leaning heavily on the guardrail to his left.
Lex Robinson: Stevie's left in the ring... she's going to need help. Damn. What a victory by Chris Carson, who celebrates with his kid.
Steve Hebert: His celebration probably involves Chris Jr. pulling his pants down, bending over and ending with the duck walk.
Lex Robinson: Oh, stop it.
A bunch of medics climb into the ring. They bring in the board, wanting to cart her off, but she resists. Barely able to stand, she exits the ring and stumbles to the back, with several medical officials surrounding her, making sure she's okay.
Winner: Chris Carson
Junior: Daddy!
Carson almost keels over, but he reaches behind him to pat Junior on the head. He hobbles over to sit down at a bench, only for Junior to jump into his lap.
Junior: Daddy, you were great!
Chris Carson: Yeah...yeah, son. I'm glad you liked it out there. I do all of this stuff for keepin' you healthy. You doin' what your mom tells you?
Junior: Uh-huh!
Chris Carson: Eatin' your food when she tells you to?
Junior: Uh-huh!
Chris Carson: How about your toilet trainin'? You tinklin' like your Papa showed you how in York's locker last time?
Junior giggles and claps his hands.
Junior: Piece of shit! Piece of shit!
Carson can only grin in a lopsided manner, wincing a bit more once he realized he's still in pain.
Chris Carson: L...look, you go and see your mom out there. Tell her to buy you an ice-cream cone. On me...
Carson manages to limp to his locker and pull out a five-dollar bill for Junior.
Chris Carson: And get me one, too. I need a bit of a sugar-high before I get out for my next match. Get me a vanilla, and you get yourself a chocolate.
Junior giggles to himself and hops off of his seat, scattering for the door. Carson lets out a long exhale and he bends over at his locker.
Chris Carson: Almost forgot just how much my back is fuckin' killin' me.
The image fades out.
He isn't alone for long, though. Soon enough, he is joined by one of his fellow competitors. It's Jay that walks into the scene, getting in Scar's face. At first, she's quiet, not saying a single word. That'll soon change.
Bringing her right hand back, she soon sails it forward, slapping Scar across the cheek, leaving a bright red mark.
Jay: I'm a girl, you stupid piece of shit.
Before Scar can react and realize what just happened, Jay walks away. Any further action will occur inside of the ring.
Shadow boxing, throwing punches left and right. Drops down and does a few push-ups. Stretches a bit. Looks in the mirror, his eyes reflect his demeanor. Very business-like. He continues loosening up. Nobody wants to be tense right before a match-up. Luciano is skipping through tracks trying to engineer his own soundtrack pre-match. You feel the vibe in the room. Then the camera finally pans in as he presses pause and unplugs the left side of the headphone. He looks into the camera and lets it rip.
Jimmy Luciano: No one expects me to win.
He unplugs the other headphone from his right ear. He throws his I-Phone on the weight bench.
Jimmy Luciano: I’m an underdog. But I’m also an opportunist. I’m tired of the disrespect. I’m sick of being second guessed.
He flexes his biceps and shows off his best physical appearance in years.
Jimmy Luciano: I realize I didn’t live up to the hype last time around. I realize I have to prove myself. I realize I will earn that respect one way or another. I realize I have retribution in mind. But the world needs to realize I’m back.
He places the perfect pull-up on top of the door frame and starts doing one handed pull-ups in perfect form. After a quick set, he steps off. Begins to shadow box again.
Left.
Right.
Uppercut.
It’s all routine.
Repeat.
Jimmy Luciano: It doesn’t matter who Sin Wrestling throws my way. I’m going to hit back twice as hard.
He cocks back and knocks the camera man out cold. The camera drops and Ryan “SkitZo” Jaxen picks up the camera. Dusts it off and Luciano is shocked that he came out of no where.
Camera zooms in on a picture frame on the wall.
Ryan Jaxen: What the fuck happened to you?
Jimmy Luciano: I’m a loser. I can’t deal with this shit anymore. I’m fucking depressed. All I do is work out, listen to music, listen to people tell me I ain’t shit, diet, shit, have flashbacks, sleep and occasionally get drunk.
Ryan Jaxen: I got no limbs motherfucker. I can't wrestle anymore. I don't want to fucking hear it asshole. Titanium is expensive shit. I need you to man the fuck up and buy me some new limbs. Oh and win your fucking matches. Jesus Christ, you've turned into such a pussy.
Jimmy Luciano: I lost my edge. I don’t know what happened, I just…
Ryan Jaxen: Shut the fuck up already.
Jimmy Luciano: I can’t even beat Morgana.
Ryan Jaxen: Yes you can. Yes we can. Obama nigga.
Jimmy Luciano: What if I fail?
Ryan Jaxen: Just because a fan threw a beer at you doesn’t mean you can’t bounce back. REALITY!?! Look, take a can of spinach. Hulk the fuck up. Or I’ll beat the shit out of you with my nubs. I’ll choke you out, bitch.
Jimmy Luciano: I’ll tell you what, limbs are on me if I win my match tonight and become the number one contender for the Ultraviolence Title.
Ryan Jaxen: If? No, you will win. Otherwise, I’m going to kill you. What the fuck happened to your ego?
Jimmy Luciano: I put it away.
Ryan Jaxen: Yeah, and I’m regenerating my limbs as we speak. No, you bring that beautiful ego out. Don’t you EVER fucking leave home without it. It's glorious... it's like a cross between baby jesus and the New England Patriot's dynasty.
Jimmy Luciano: Let’s play some wii tennis before my match. Wrap the wiimote around your nub and fucking play asshole. I don’t care if you’re crippled or not. I’ll sign you up for the Special Olympics in the swimming events. Let’s see you fucking doggy paddle then bitch.
Ryan Jaxen: Whatever pussy. That’s more like it.
Jaxen drops the camera down as Luciano turns on the wii console. And begins to play wii tennis. Even the wii character has no limbs.
Lex Robinson: Well, with Savage Youth on the way to the ring, I guess it’s time for our bonus match.
Steve Hebert: How fucking embarrassing. Bonus matches are usually cool, you know? Naked lesbian oil wrestling. Sebastian York vs. Flame in a “Winner Chainsaws Himself in Half” match. This shit? Wasn’t it a Stallone movie?
Lex Robinson: That’d be arm wrestling.
Steve Hebert: But you don’t go “over the top” of anything in arm wrestling.
Lex Robinson: The table?
Steve Hebert: Fuck the table! I want Rambo!
Lex Robinson: Chill out, Col. Trautman.
No music plays, which is actually rather customary for Generic Heel. Contrary to form for his introduction though, we go backstage, where the so-called “Masked Motherfucker” is pulling the wrapper from a Snickers in a way that Snickers wrappers are not designed to be pulled. Suddenly, he stops, perhaps sensing a presence that is very familiar to him. He looks up.
Generic Heel: Patrick?
The camera turns around to capture Patrick Ewing, multiple time all-star center for the New York Knicks. He is carrying a basketball.
Patrick Ewing: Hey Generic Heel.
Ewing dribbles forward with an unexpected burst of speed. Roaring like mighty Godzilla, Ewing leaps into the air, plants his foot in Generic Heel’s face, and brings down a somewhat inexplicable backboard with the sickest of dunks. Ewing, holding on to the hoop, looks down on Generic Heel. He shrugs.
Patrick Ewing: Oops!
Patrick Ewing walks away.
Steve Hebert: Holy shit! If Generic Heel dies, can I have his Snickers?
Lex Robinson: After getting dunked on by Patrick Chewing, what chance does Generic Heel have?
As if to answer the question, Generic Heel makes his way out to the ring, limping. The fans boo him mercilessly, as if they’ve been paid to do so, but Heel pays them no heed, using all of his concentration to simply walk down to the ring.
Steve Hebert: What a brave Generic Heel.
Lex Robinson: Considering that he’s been abandoned in space, replaced by a better wrestler, and blown-up for no particularly acceptable reason, Patrick Ewing is actually kind of light.
Heel makes it to the ring, and the referee asks him if he can go on with the planned match. Heel gamely shakes his head yes, so the referee joins he and Youth in the traditional thumb wrestling pose and runs through the rules.
Lex Robinson: The bell rings, and we’re underway.
Steve Hebert: Even I can’t believe how fucking gay this is.
Lex Robinson: Savage Youth takes the early lead in this match, jabbing his thumb at Generic Heel’s to test his adversary. Generic Heel, who is much bigger than his opponent, tries to take the safe route, bending his thumb back as far as possible to avoid a pinning combination.
Steve Hebert: But Generic Heel ends that lame strategy by lunging for Savage Youth’s thumb!
Lex Robinson: Generic Heel has Savage Youth’s thumb covered, but Youth slips free of Heel’s grasp before the referee can even start counting.
Steve Hebert: Clearly, Savage Youth is using Crisco.
Lex Robinson: Generic Heel can’t believe his opponent’s somewhat impressive digital dexterity and draws his thumb out of the line of fire once more. He hooks Generic Heel’s thumb, but Heel jerks his hand back, breaking contact with Youth!
Steve Hebert: Savage Youth was cheating, Lex. Generic Heel only plays by with gentleman’s rules.
Lex Robinson: The referee brings Heel and Youth back together, and Youth goes for the quick pinfall attempt!
Steve Hebert: Heel escapes though, and breaks the hold again!
Lex Robinson: Generic Heel is trying to cheat Savage Youth out of this match, Steve.
Steve Hebert: It’s fucking thumb wrestling, Lex. Shut up.
The referee, upset with Heel’s breaking the sacred bond of thumb war, so he calls to the timekeeper for something that has the fans buzzing.
Steve Hebert: What the fuck is that?
Lex Robinson: THE GAUNTLET!
Steve Hebert: It really is like the Stallone movie!
Lex Robinson: Generic Heel looks pleased with this development, which is somewhat surprising considering how he’s pussied out of the previous two rounds.
Steve Hebert: He’s in his fucking element.
Lex Robinson: The referee straps Savage Youth into THE GAUNTLET and goes to do the same to Generic Heel, but he waves the ref off, grabs his mask…and turns it around. What the hell?
Steve Hebert: It’s like a switch, Lex! Now he’s ready to go over the top!
Lex Robinson: How is he supposed to see?
Steve Hebert: Fuck vision.
Lex Robinson: Fuckvision?
Steve Hebert: No, man: Fuck vision.
Lex Robinson: That’s what I said: Fuckvision.
Steve Hebert: You know, I was going to fuck you…but…wait—I was never going to fuck you.
Lex Robinson: Jesus Christ, Steve – focus on the match.
Steve Hebert: Well, Generic Heel is strapped into THE GAUNTLET! now, and the referee signals for the two to start. Generic Heel has this match in the fucking bag, Lex.
Lex Robinson: Which is exactly why Savage Youth has Heel covered!
Steve Hebert: Shit! Kick out, Heel!
Lex Robinson: One... two...
Steve Hebert: Please, no!
Lex Robinson: Three! Savage Youth wins in what may be the least disastrous pay per view thumb war possible!
Steve Hebert: Least disastrous, my ass! That was the biggest disaster since 9/11.
Lex Robinson: I guess that’ll teach Generic Heel to wrestle blindfolded.
Steve Hebert: Like hell it will!
In the ring, the referee has unstrapped Heel and Youth, who takes this opportunity to celebrate.
Savage Youth: Yo!
Generic Heel, on the other hand, picks up a microphone and holds it to his lips, which do not have the benefit of a maskhole.
Generic Heel: I am Generic Heel, and I do not lose at thumb wrestling. I’m the John Holmes, the Ed Gacy, and the Lincoln fucking Hawk of thumb wrestling! That match won’t be going on my official record…do you hear me, you little cumstain?
Lex Robinson: Generic Heel is not happy with his loss…
Generic Heel: I didn’t fucking lose! A house fell on me! I got dunked on by Patrick Chewing! I went to Rekall! I have swine flu!
Steve Hebert: You tell them, Generic Heel!
While Generic Heel rants and raves, returning Sin Wrestling superstar, Scar, slides into the ring!
Lex Robinson: Holy crap! It’s Scar! He’s back!
Steve Hebert: And he’s gaying up Generic Heel’s victory speech.
Lex Robinson: Savage Youth tries to fight Scar off, but he’s apparently weakened from the thumb war! Scar quickly takes advantage and throws Youth from the ring!
Steve Hebert: Moufasa, look out!
Lex Robinson: Generic Heel turns around, and Scar promptly takes him out with Scarred, his finishing maneuver!
Steve Hebert: Fucking tragic.
Scar picks up the microphone that Generic Heel previously had.
Scar: For the love of fuck, start my goddamn match.
Scar throws down the microphone, waiting for his upcoming match to begin, getting some jeers from the crowd.
Winner: Savage Youth
Junior: Daddy! I got your...!
Junior actually ends up smashing his face into a sturdy leg, the kid falling down on his bottom. He gazes at his hands, both cones now empty of their ice cream.
Junior: Oopsie. Daddy's gonna be mad...
Actually, the person he ran into was actually one of the other members of the S.O.S., Corey Ashton, who had been headed elsewhere.
Corey Ashton: Hey! Watch where you're going... aw, hell!
Ashton looks down at his ring attire and notices the ice cream scoops running down his legs. He looks disgusted as he tries to wipe himself off.
Junior: Sorry, mister.
Corey Ashton: Sorry? Sorry?! "Sorry" doesn't pay for dry-cleaning! You even got it on my robe, you brat!
Junior: My mommy can fix it! She fixes my clothes when I get ice cream on them!
Ashton, however, leans down and grabs both of Junior's chubby arms.
Corey Ashton: This is one-of-a-kind fashion here, you snot-nosed kid! Ice cream doesn't come out of silk! God, and right before my match!
Junior: Ow! S...sorry! I didn't mean to...make a mess! Ow! That huuuurts!
Ashton is really squeezing Junior's arms now, lifting him up into the air and shaking him.
Corey Ashton: You know what bad boys get? They get nothing from Santa, you hear?
Junior starts to wail, coughing loudly after a shake. Ashton finally puts Junior down, watching the kid cough uncontrollably.
Junior: Dad...*cough*...Daddy!
Corey Ashton: Daddy?
Ashton's eyes snap open wide as he gets a hand closed around his throat and his head forced against the wall, Chris Carson finally out to defend his son, who is still coughing, but is getting better.
Chris Carson: You okay, kiddo?
Junior: Y...yes, Daddy...
Chris Carson: Go and see your mom. She'll clean you up.
Junior finally starts to toddle away in the direction away from the locker room. Carson takes a deep breath and turns his rage back on Ashton.
Corey Ashton: Ow! S...sorry! I didn't know that...was your son!
Chris Carson: And it's gonna hurt even more if I ever see you do that to ANY kid, Ashton, you got me? If ANYONE lays a finger on my kid and yells at them, I'm gonna personally make sure that person leaves the room with one less testicle. And that INCLUDES you.
Carson lets go of Ashton's throat, and he gasps loudly to regain his breath. he turns a moment to glare back at Carson after he's a few steps away from him, but the tension stays high.
Corey Ashton: You're welcome, Carson. Just remember that you still owe me, and you're welcome.
Ashton merely readjusts himself and marches in the direction of the entrance ramp, while Carson is left with a brutal sneer on his face.
Why the hesitation?
Luciano nods his head, and then backs up like he’s going to kick the door in. But then, at the last second, stops himself short from knocking the door off its hinges. He pauses for a second, and then nods his head. He balls his fist up real tight and punches a massive hole in her Hollywood star right next to the door on the trailer.
Jimmy Luciano: I wish that wall was her face.
He cracks his knuckles. Looks at the size of the hole in the wall in amazement and smiles. He walks away before anyone notices what happened to the wall. The door swings open and Morgana peeks out the door wondering what happened.
Morgana: The party start in 5 minutes!
She looks around, seeing no one. Shrugging her shoulders, she closes her door and everything returns to normal.
Lex Robinson: Welcome back, folks. As you saw before we went to the back, Scar is in the ring and he wants to restart his Sin Wrestling career right goddamn now.
Steve Hebert: I'm glad someone's showing some motivation!
The crowd bursts into cheers as the opening guitar riff of "How I Could Just Kill A Man" by Rage Against the Machine erupts and Adam Cameron steps out onto the stage. With a quick smirk to the fans, he jogs to the ring, sliding under the bottom rope, before jumping to his feet. He dashes to the far corner of the ring, leaping onto the second turnbuckle and throwing both fists into the air with a yell. Hopping down to the mat, he turns around and bends over with his hands on his thighs, ready for the match.
Steve Hebert: THIS is Ultraviolence? One of the S.O.S. newbs? He's one step up from the retard in the Ashton family.
"You Can't Stop Me" by Guano Apes leaks through speakers and the lights fade as dizzying white spotlights begin to swirl around the audience. Jay walks out from the back wearing a pair of black nylon pants with a v-shape waist seamlessly tucked into leather knee-high black boots with a small heel and an electric blue corset. She finishes walking down the ramp, kind of ignoring the crowd, and slides underneath the ropes.
Jay gets to her feet and heads to a corner, but not before Scar laughs mockingly at her, his hand grabbing at his crotch as he talks smack. Jay takes a step forward, but the referee gets between the two before anything can explode out of control.
Lex Robinson: Scar doesn't seem too serious about this match, mocking Jay before the opening bell!
Steve Hebert: And why shouldn't he? Jay's got nothing left in the tank. She should just fall back on an acting career or learn how to ballroom dance.
All of a sudden, the following flashes on the screen...
IMMORTAL LEGEND STATUS
THE PAST.
THE PRESENT.
THE FUTURE.
"Show Me What You Got" by Jay-Z hits over the P.A. as the lights start to flicker until it becomes pitch black for a brief moment. Then a string of white, red, and green pyros explode as the lights slowly turn back on. The smoke clears, and Jimmy Luciano is standing at the top of the entrance ramp with his hands raised up. Luciano is wearing the usual black ring attire. He walks down slowly pacing himself. He then walks up the stairs, turns for a brief second and finally enters the ring… The crowd erupts. A “Luci” chant breaks out.
Lex Robinson: Well, if anything, this match will be good for reintroductions! Scar and Jimmy Luciano are back after long hiatuses. This match should prove to be an interesting mix of brawling and high-flying!
Steve Hebert: What I would rather see is an interesting mix of vodka and soda right now from the soapy confines of a bathtub at Hugh Hefner's Playboy Mansion.
Lex Robinson: You want to be in a bathtub with Hugh Hefner?
Steve Hebert: That's not what I said!
Lex Robinson: We'll discuss that...much later, Steve, but the bell has rung and we're underway!
The four-way matchup pits heel versus face, as AdCam goes after Luci, while Jay is forced to defend against Scar. Cameron goes straight for a clothesline against Jimmy, knocking them both over the top rope, perhaps a sign of things to come later in the evening!
Lex Robinson: ...and they're off!
Steve Hebert: What a start!
Scar, on the other hand, has already grounded Jay, flooring her with some kicks until she is seated next to the turnbuckle. Scar drops back a few steps and attempts a quick lariat to Jay, even getting his shoulder down for a tackle, but...
Lex Robinson: Whoa! Jay manages to slide down and...limbo under Scar's charge! He gets nothing but shoulder to the ringpost!
Steve Hebert: My God. Who knew Jay was that flexible? That'd add to the positions I could get her in...
Lex Robinson: Scar holds his shoulder while Jay slides to her feet. She mauls at his midsection with stiff kicks, laying him out on the canvass before hitting him with a standing senton! She goes into a quick pin!
...1...!
Steve Hebert: Way too early for that! Scar pushes her off.
Jay gets back to her feet and starts to use the ropes to her advantage, springboarding into the air to land stomps to Scar's shoulder. However, the fighting on the outside of the ring is apparently going in Luciano's way.
Lex Robinson: And while that was all happening, Luciano nails Cameron with a few uppercuts...then whips Cameron into the stairs!
Steve Hebert: Listen to that sound of head-on-steel. Sweet.
Lex Robinson: Luciano seems to be done with Cameron, even though Cameron's still only draped over the ring steps... he's not down. Jimmy's trying to re-enter the ring...
Jay appears to have realized she needs to watch her back. She charges towards the ropes and goes into a baseball slide...!
Lex Robinson: And...how about this for justice? Jimmy just drags the cold-cocked Cameron in the way of Jay's sliding kick!
Steve Hebert: Hey, nobody said justice was fair.
Lex Robinson: And Jimmy's not done! He grabs Jay's foot and drags her out of the ring to bounce her head off the concrete!
Steve Hebert: Unbelievable. Why didn't Jimmy come back earlier? He could totally dominate the Ultraviolence division! Roxy and Crux couldn't hold his big Italian nutsack.
Lex Robinson: I'm sure they couldn't, Steve. Thanks for that mental image.
Steve Hebert: Luciano taunts the crowd, almost taking a bow when he faces them, only to receive Scar's flying crossbody from his spot off the top turnbuckle!
Lex Robinson: Now THERE'S the justice! What a quick move from Scar! Bodies are all over the floor!
Scar scrambles to his feet afterward and picks through the carnage, opting for the most injured. He rolls AdCam into the ring and attempts a quick pin!
...1...!
Lex Robinson: Ad-Cam kicks out quickly!
Steve Hebert: Too quickly for me.
Lex Robinson: Scar's back on his feet to drag Ad-Cam up with him, only to floor him with a release German Suplex! Cameron rolls back into the corner for defense!
Steve Hebert: Nowhere else to go!
Lex Robinson: Scar lifts Ad-Cam back to his feet and nails some still slaps across the chest. He starts to lift Cameron up onto the top turnbuckle, maybe going for a risky move!
Steve Hebert: C'mon, Scar! Don't loiter!
Lex Robinson: Scar's looking for a superplex, but... hold on! Jay's on the apron! She springs... no, she practically runs across the top rope, jumps off, and drives the side of Scar's head to the mat with a bulldog!
This leaves AdCam dizzy and on the top turnbuckle. He shakes it off and sees an opportunity for a suicide dive, only for Luciano to mount the ropes himself and clap his hand around his neck!
Lex Robinson: And Jimmy comes down with a monstrous chokeslam on Cameron from the top rope!
Steve Hebert: Cameron's done. He's been the punching bag in this match. Pin him, Luci!
The referee counts...
...1...2...
Lex Robinson: ...No! Jay stops the count with a dropkick to Jimmy's head!
Steve Hebert: That dirty, dirty whore! Punch her in the cunt, Jimbo.
Luciano rolls to the side and slips up to his feet, examining his hand for any blood. Jay tries to take advantage of this distraction to go for a hurricanrana, only for Jimmy to keep Jay held up in a powerbomb hold!
Lex Robinson: Jay's trying to twist herself out of the hold!
Steve Hebert: Drop her, Jimmy! Drop her on her slut head!
Lex Robinson: Jay starts to hammer at Jimmy's head, but here comes Scar! He finally evens the score by leaping up to grab Jay's neck...and come down with a combination neckbreaker/powerbomb with Jimmy!
Steve Hebert: Well, that still works.
The two men stand up and look down at Jay, then start to squabble about who gets to pin her!
Steve Hebert: Will someone pin that damn size-queen?!
Lex Robinson: The pushing and shoving between the two finally turns into fisticuffs, as Scar and Jimmy wail away at each other!
Scar finally misses one punch, allowing Luciano to hook his arm up and nail Scar with his reverse Russian legsweep--the "Relapse"!
Steve Hebert: Oh, man. Scar's going to have a few extra scars in the morning.
Lex Robinson: Oh-ho. Luciano goes into a quick pin!
...1...!
Lex Robinson: One...
...2...!
Steve Hebert: There's two!
...
Lex Robinson: No! Adam Cameron comes back to disrupt the pin! The S.O.S. saves the day!
Steve Hebert: Do you know just how WRONG that sounds? Just... that's like putting Roxy in charge of the Drug Enforcement Administration!
Lex Robinson: Ad-Cam hopes to go to work right now! He lifts Luciano to his feet and whips him into the ropes. Luciano comes off and gets thrown into a huge powerslam in the middle of the ring!
Steve Hebert: He's got no power for the pin, though! What's he doing getting back up?
Lex Robinson: He might be looking to put Luci in traction with his finisher--The Decline! He's waiting to charge...
Steve Hebert: But don't forget about Scar! Or Jay! They're both back up!
Jay charges over to Cameron and quickly gets up for a hurricanrana, but Cameron manages to toss her off as Scar charges forward. Jay ends up slipping off Cameron, only to transfer the hurricanrana onto Scar, flipping him out of the ring!
Lex Robinson: Jay's showing some sort of moxie out there. Toss her off, and she'll just hurracanrana someone else.
Steve Hebert: I can show Jay some moxie. Except mine's salt-flavored and comes in a meaty package.
Scar slides back again to recover on the outside of the ring, mouthing at Jay as she scouts him.
Lex Robinson: Some pretty colorful language from Scar out there.
Steve Hebert: The crowd's too loud. I can only make out stuff about a cat, pancake batter...
Scar grabs his crotch as he emphasizes his point.
Steve Hebert: ...and a scarred penis.
Lex Robinson: Traumatizing. Simply traumatizing.
Jay doesn't take kindly to those words. She bounces on the opposite ropes and goes to bounce over the ropes, only to fake Scar into flinching his head away. Instead, she leaps over the top rope, lands on the apron, then jumps off to fool Scar into a Front DDT!
Lex Robinson: A Jay-Ded '08 special on the floor. Scar's eating concrete for breakfast!
While Jay recovers on the outside, the crowd is behind Cameron, the only one standing in the ring! He drops back to prepare for a spear when Jimmy woozily gets to his feet and charges, only for Luciano to dart to the side, catch Cameron around the neck and bust his forehead against the mat with his own DDT!
Steve Hebert: It's time! Salute the Immortal Legend and the Italian flag, because Luci is getting the win!
Luciano struts in the ring and lifts Cameron up, getting him up onto his back with his arms spread. With his back to the nearest turnbuckle, he starts to move forward...
Steve Hebert: He hits his crucifix powerbomb! Cameron's dead! he killed him!
Lex Robinson: The cover is made...
...
Lex Robinson: Wait, no... in comes Jay...
Seeing Jay slide back inside, Jimmy stands back up, stopping his pinfall of Adam Cameron. Blocking a spin-kick from Jay, he grabs her by her hair and then throws her over the top rope, sending her to the floor.
Lex Robinson: A prelude for later in the night, perhaps?! We'll have to see!
Steve Hebert: He sent her flying. Thank fucking Christ.
Lex Robinson: Jimmy returns to making the pin...
...1...2...
Lex Robinson: One... two...
Scar tries to make the save, but it's too late...
...3!
Lex Robinson: ...and three! Jimmy does it! Whomever walks out with the Ultraviolence Title later tonight, whether it be Crux or Roxy Erikson, they're going to have to faceoff with a determined Jimmy Luciano.
Steve Hebert: They'll have to meet him in the Sin Trophy match, too.
Lex Robinson: Yup; he may just cash in early. Hell, he may even try to cash in on the World Title, too.
Steve Hebert: Now that would be tits.
Snapping his hand away from the referee upon being announced as the winner, Jimmy exits the ring and walks to the back, getting a mixed reaction from the fans.
As for Jay, she bitterly pushes past Scar, who tries to grab her, but leaves him cursing in anger. She walks to the back, while Scar looks at her with vitriol in his eyes.
Adam Cameron is the last to exit. He holds his head, being the worst for wear, as he limps backstage.
Winner: Jimmy Luciano
Suddenly, in walks Lindsay Lohan and her partner, Samantha Ronson. The room hushes.
Paris Hilton: Ugh... who invited them?
Morgana: I... I... uh... I didn't.
Justin Timberlake: Just what we need. The tuna fish duo to spoil all the fun. I'm out of here.
Justin Timberlake uses a smoke bomb and teleports out of the party.
Morgana: Noooo!
Paris Hilton: That's hot.
Bea Arthur: ...
Morgy tries to calm everyone down. Afterall, this is her party that is being hosted. In the meantime, in walks Corey Page.
Corey Page: Holy crap... look at all these people. Give me some money.
Corey Page begins badgering random celebrities for money; but then comes across Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson. He vomits and walks away.
Morgana: Please... everyone, calm down.
Someone else soon interrupts the party. It's Corey Ashton, Morgana's opponent and rival. He has on his sparkling ring robe, and has his Television Title in his hands, as he walks up to Morgana, looking quite serious. Breathing down her neck, he watches as she turns around, looking quite flustered.
Morgana: You... you bastard...
Corey Ashton: [speaking sarcastically] It's nice to see you focused for our match tonight.
He looks around the area, sticking his nose into the air.
Corey Ashton: You better party hard now because by the time we're finished, you won't be walking and you'll have been pinned 5 times.
Not letting Morgana respond, he steps away, keeping an eye on her. As he exits, he gets several comments on his robe.
Paris Hilton: Ewww.
Morgana: I'm sorry. He's a douche. I know. I'm very sorry that he uses his sleeping bag as a robe. I wholeheartedly apologize.
The image fades out, showing Morgana getting pumped for the upcoming match.
Corey Ashton finally steps out into view, holding the Television Title at his side, while another chorus of boos come raining down on the "Sultan of Swing". Ashton no-sells the fan’s reaction with a smug grin and makes his way towards the ringside area, with an incredibly sparkling ring robe adorning his body. Ashton walks up the steel steps and steps into the ring quickly, where he slowly takes his robe off, folds it neatly and hands it off to a ring crew official. Ashton’s focus then returns to the task at hand and waits patiently for the match to commence.
Steve Hebert: Here it is! "Ashton Endurance Match"!
Lex Robinson: The first person to get to 5-pinfalls will be crowned the winner. All the marbles are on the line here -- from pride, glory, to even Corey Ashton's Television Title.
Steve Hebert: Trust me, Corey won't have a problem. While Morgana has probably been in strip clubs, getting naked for 50 year old men with wrinkled cocks, Corey Ashton has been beating the likes of Declan Turner. How does this even match up?
Lex Robinson: If I remember correctly, you were saying something similar back at Five Years Gone. Look how that turned out.
Steve Hebert: Yeah, yeah, yeah... it was a fluke.
Lex Robinson: I don't think so.
The venue suddenly descends into total darkness, sparking the crowd into an expectant frenzy. For a long moment, the sound system is completely silent and the screen above the entrance is blank. However, above the din of the crowd, sinister circus music begins to play, crackling loudly through the speakers. The screen suddenly comes to life, an image of Morgana fading in slowly.
On either side of the entrance two pyros explode, sending columns of fire blazing toward the ceiling. The image fades out of existence and the circus music dies abruptly. The arena is thrown into silence again, save for the anticipatory rumblings of the crowd, before "Circus" by Britney Spears bursts from the sound system.
there's only two types of people in the world
the ones that entertain, and the ones that observe
well baby i'm a put-on-a-show kinda girl
don't like the back seat, gotta be first
all eyes on me in the centre of the ring
just like a circus
when i crack that whip everybody gon' trip
just like a circus
Lex Robinson: Doo dee da doo... inside a circus!
Steve Hebert: ...Stop.
Lex Robinson: Fine.
Steve Hebert: Look at her stupid, pink head. I hope Corey bashes it in.
Lex Robinson: It's going to be a race to 5. As it's been said, the first to make 5 successful pinfalls, will be crowed the winner of this match. It's been a longtime coming, too. Corey and Morgana share quite the history, which goes all the way back to New Era Wrestling and to when Morgana was married into the Ashton family.
Steve Hebert: That money-grubbing slut!
Lex Robinson: ...Do you even know what you're talking about; or are you just rambling about whatever comes to your head?
Steve Hebert: The latter.
Standing in opposite corners, Morgana and Corey glare coldly at each other, with each of them slowly stepping out, looking for an opening. When the bell rings, they begin circling around the other, hoping for the other to make a mistake, which would enable them to get a quick pinfall.
Lex Robinson: Corey and Morgana move around each other... and around and around.
Steve Hebert: So tense!
Lex Robinson: Alas, they both step toward each other... and it's Corey Ashton grabbing Morgana by the head, applying a side-headlock, much to the disdain of the fans.
Steve Hebert: Those dirtbags will have to life with it, as Corey flips head over, bringing her to the canvas with a side-headlock takedown.
Lex Robinson: However, just as she lands, she brings her legs up, trying to headscissor him, hopefully finding an opening... but Corey increases pressure with the headlock.
Steve Hebert: Good! Squeeze her brains out. With all the dye that goes in her hair, it's probably pink by now... or full of cancer.
Wiggling to free and free herself, Morgana turns to her side, but Corey continues to use his strength to his advantage, placing all of his weight down on her.
Lex Robinson: Whoa, wait... Corey, still with the headlock applied, has Morgana on her back. The referee makes the count...
...1...
Lex Robinson: But Morgana rolls onto her side, stopping the count!
Steve Hebert: Hey, it worked for Morgana in their last match. Why not now?
Lex Robinson: That's because Morgana caught Corey off-guard. Plus, he has originally transformed Morgy's version of a crossface into a pinfall, first.
Steve Hebert: Pffft.
Soon, Corey gets back to his feet, still using his strength to wear down Morgana in the opening of this match. As they rise, the fans clearly stand behind the pink-haired queen of Sin Wrestling, throwing full support towards her, as they watch her strike some forearms into Corey's ribcage.
Lex Robinson: Morgana's fighting back!
Delivering a series of forearms and elbows to Corey, she soon escapes his headlock, allowing her to charge towards the ropes.
Lex Robinson: She's free... and she jumps on the middle rope and swings back... she armdrags him to the mat!
Steve Hebert: Corey Ashton jumps right back up, though. He side-steps a running forearm attack from the pink-haired whore ad quickly retorts with a vicious kick to her back! What a smart move! He needs to focus on her back, which is quite well-known to have various injuries. Probably a result of faceplanting off a stripper pole, but I'm not sure.
Lex Robinson: Well, he does continue to work on it, at least. Delivering a second kick to her spine, he picks her up and then nails her with a backbreaker! Much to her chagrin, he keeps her in this position, making sure to push down on her chin, bending her even more over his right knee.
Steve Hebert: If he bends her any further, he'll snap her in half.
Having Morgama in prime position, Corey Ashton takes this time to taunt the fans and then hammers her with some forearms to the chest and face. After giving her some punches, he continues to bend her backwards, trying to wear her down.
Steve Hebert: All of this is smart, too. Right off the bat, Corey Ashton is wearing Morgana down, not giving her the chance to fly through the air like a kid vomiting cotton candy.
Lex Robinson: As she lays across his knee, Corey wraps his arms around her, stands up, flips her around... and then drops her stomach-first across the same knee! Can you say ouch?!
Steve Hebert: Ouch, motherfucker. Corey Ashton is beating this old bag down.
Laid out, stomach first, across Corey's knee, Morgana can be heard breathing hard, while he takes some shots at her back. Wrapping his arms around her again, he goes to repeat the move -- this time dropping her back-first across his knee.
Lex Robinson: Oh no... here we go again...
Steve Hebert: Yes! Break her in half!
Lex Robinson: He hoists her up and flips her around... wait... she changes it into a hurricanrana! She brings Corey Ashton down, making him roll out of the ring, trying to stay on his feet!
Out here, Corey Ashton stumbles around, while arguing with some fans. As a result, he doesn't see Morgana get to her feet and run into the corner.
Lex Robinson: With a burst of speed, Morgana charges up the ring ropes and lands atop the adjacent ring rope. She moonsaults off that rope, vaulting all the way to the floor, capturing Corey Ashton by surprise!
Steve Hebert: Ugh, she flattens him!
Lex Robinson: Morgana's right back up, too. Taking Corey up with her, she smashes his face off the ring apron and then backs up. Taking a few steps forward, she strides towards him... but he notices her. He goes to throw her into the air, but she lands on the side of the ring apron, landing safely on her own two feet. Furthermore, she spins around, glances at Corey and leaps off the apron!
Steve Hebert: Ughh.... no!
Lex Robinson: A running hurricanrana off the side of the apron! So much for him breaking her back, huh?
Steve Hebert: Give it time. Maybe she'll miss some of that flippy shit she does and land on the railing. That'd be enough to break her in half.
On the floor, Morgana takes the ring steps and sets them up in front of Corey Ashton, who is slowly getting to his feet. Having taken several steps back, she paces herself, waiting for him to rise. Once he does, she darts forward, using the steps to spring herself into the air.
Lex Robinson: Morgy is looking to fly, yet again. There she goes...!
Climbing up the steps, she pushes herself into the air, launching herself towards Corey...
Steve Hebert: No! He catches her! Haha!
Lex Robinson: Oh no. Bad idea there by Morgy...
Bam!
Lex Robinson: ...as she is plastered onto the steel steps with a major spinebuster! Ouch!
Steve Hebert: Her back is broken! Fuck yes!
Breathing deep, he grabs onto her pink hair, lifts her up and then rolls her into the ring. Climbing onto the ring apron, he re-enters the ring, watching as Morgana writhes in pain.
Lex Robinson: Rolling around on the ground, holding her lower back, Morgana cannot remove herself from Corey's clutches. He comes back inside, like a vicious animal, and commences kicking and stomping on her back and head. Taking another handful of hair, he lifts her up, chops her across the chest and tosses her into the corner.
Steve Hebert: That chop engraved her bra into her skin.
Lex Robinson: And if she doesn't wear one?
Steve Hebert: Fucking hot.
Lex Robinson: Corey continues to pounce on Morgana, trapping her in the corner, where he grounds her with a bunch of kicks and stomps.
With another hand of hair, he drags Morgana into the center of the ring. Kicking her in the stomach, he pulls her into a standing headscissors and then lifts her up into a powerbomb position. The momentum is enough to allow Morgana to slide off Corey's shoulders, and land safely behind him.
Lex Robinson: So much for that powerbomb attempt. He swings around, looking to apply more damage onto Morgy. However, he sees her charge into the ropes and come flying back. Tilt-a-whirl headscissors.... one rotation... two... and...
Steve Hebert: Oh no... she brings him down!
Lex Robinson: She applies the Happiness in Slavery! She's going to make him tap!
Steve Hebert: No... no... no!
Corey Ashton struggles to free himself. Eventually, he rolls onto his side, while the hold is still applied.
Lex Robinson: This is what he tried at Five Years Gone! Will it work?!
Steve Hebert: He's made the cover!
...1...2...
Lex Robinson: No! Still with the hold applied, Morgana rolls out of it!
Steve Hebert: She transfers it into the same rollup from the last pay per view!
Lex Robinson: The hold is still locked-on; yet she's also getting the pinfall...!
The referee counts...
...1...
Lex Robinson: One...
...2...
Lex Robinson: Two... will we have a repeat of things for the first pinfall?!
...
Steve Hebert: Hell no! Corey rolls out of it! He transitions into a cradle of his own!
Again, the referee counts. This time for Corey Ashton...
...1...
Lex Robinson: Nice recovery for Corey...
...2...
Lex Robinson: Can Morgana dangle out of it?!
...
Steve Hebert: Thr--...
...3...!
Steve Hebert: --eee! He does it! Corey Ashton gets the first fall! He blows Morgana's pinfall from Five Years Gone back into her face! Haha! Yes! What a way to start things!
Lex Robinson: Oh no, Corey Ashton has the early lead. He's gone up 1-0 on Morgana, all thanks to those series of reversals.
Steve Hebert: I told you this would happen, Lex. Corey is undefeated in these Ashton Endurance Matches. It's just a continuation of things. Corey is ready to fight; Morgana, on the other hand, is ready to play "He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not" with a flower.
Just as he's announced the winner of the first fall, Corey gets to his feet, holding his arms in the air. The referee goes to step in between both competitors, but Morgana is quickly back up. Shoving the referee aside, she charges at a distracted Corey Ashton and jumps on his back, choking him and hammering him with some fists!
Lex Robinson: Losing the first pinfall isn't going to keep Morgana down, though! Like a firefly, she jumps up and jumps onto Corey Ashton's back.
Steve Hebert: The only defense he can muster is heaving Morgana over his right shoulder, tossing her onto the ground. Of course, she's right back up, like a venomous old wench.
Lex Robinson: He side-steps one of her roving forearms, but this only allows for Morgana to jump onto his shoulders. From here, she goes to swing around, but Corey maintains his position! As she tries to take him down with a swinging rana, Corey stands on his feet, holding her upside-down. Using his strength, he pulls her back up... and powerbombs her to the canvas!
Steve Hebert: Yes! Now that was a solid "Fuck you" to Morgana!
Lex Robinson: He even makes a quick cover!
The referee counts...
...1...2...
Lex Robinson: But Morgana kicks out at the count of two!
Bending over, Corey latches onto her hair, again, and pulls her up. Drilling her with several stiff fists, he hoists her up into a back-suplex position, wanting to drop her on her skull.
Lex Robinson: Nailing Morgana with some punches, Corey soon hoists her up, about to drop her on her back.
Steve Hebert: Wait! No!
Lex Robinson: I spoke too soon!
Steve Hebert: As usual.
Lex Robinson: Morgana is able to squirm and wiggle her way out of Corey's clutches. Instead, she sunset-flips him... he goes down, with her arms hooking his shoulders...!
The referee begins to count Corey Ashton down...
...1...2...
Lex Robinson: No! Corey Ashton kicks out, this time! As a matter of fact, he rolls backwards, jetting up to his feet. Right away, he grabs both of Morgana's ankles and then jackknife rolls atop her, going for a cover of his own!
Steve Hebert: Yes! That's more like it! Count, referee, count!
...1...2...
Steve Hebert: Bah! She kicks out!
Lex Robinson: But she gets right back up... and Majistral Cradles Corey into a pinfall!
Steve Hebert: What the...?! Stop this!
The referee again counts...
...1...2...
Lex Robinson: And again, Corey Ashton kicks out!
Steve Hebert: Thank Christ.
Both Morgana and Corey get to their feet at the exact time and charge at each other. Morgana ducks beneath an attempted clothesline, but Corey responds by attempting to backslide her, hoping to surprise her with a pinfall.
Lex Robinson: Corey latches onto both of Morgy's arms and tries to bring her to the canvas... but she backflips over him!
Steve Hebert: She's some kind of Ninja Turtle!
Lex Robinson: Delivering a sick kick to the face, Morgana goes to whip Corey into the corner. However, at the last second, the whip is reversed. As a matter of fact, Corey even kicks out Morgana's leg, making her tumble to the canvas and then slide back-first into the ring post! Jesus!
Steve Hebert: Yes! He swept her leg out from under her! Again, her back collides with cold, hard, unforgiving, murderous steel!
Lex Robinson: Damn, she really hit hard. Like a snake, Corey slithers to the outside--...
Steve Hebert: I think he even flicked his tongue like a snake. Or maybe he was just trying to lick Morgana. Either/or.
Lex Robinson: Anyhow, he's out here. Paying no attention to the jeers from the fans, he grabs Morgana by the hair and pulls back. Coincidentally, he grabs her right leg, while placing his own foot on the ring post. At the same time, he begins pulling back on her hair and her leg, resulting in her almost bending in half, as he pulls back with all of his might!
Steve Hebert: He'll break her in half! This time, it's for real!
Lex Robinson: The backbreaker didn't do it, but this just might. Goddamn.
Yelps and moans can be heard from Morgana; and they certainly don't point to anything positive. The more he pulls, the worse the sounds. A shockwave of jeers pour towards him, not a single fan liking the pulling of Morgana's hair, but it doesn't bother him. When he's finished, he rolls back inside, looking at Morgana, who is down in the corner, in a rack of pain.
Lex Robinson: Licking his chops, Corey Ashton pulls Morgana into the center of the ring. With a decisive stomp, he rolls her onto her stomach, stands over her and uses a move out of Chris Carson's book! Wow.
Steve Hebert: He's actually going to "Silencer" her! It's about damn time, too.
Lex Robinson: Sitting on her back, he places both of her arms on his knees. Reaching forward with one arm, he latches onto her chin and begins pulling back.
Steve Hebert: You can even hear Corey Ashton talk trash to her.
Corey Ashton: Tap, you whore, tap!
Lex Robinson: Well, that's nice of him. What a tool.
Corey batters Morgana with some stiff punches, while in this clutch. The fans fire back, rallying behind Morgana, who begins to stir, finally finding the energy needed to slip out between Corey Ashton's legs.
Lex Robinson: Morgy is fighting back... she slips out between his legs, jumps to her feet and dropkicks him to the back! He is sent front-first into the corner, where he smashes against the turnbuckles. Right away, Morgana schoolboys him, rolling him up into a pinfall...!
The referee counts...
...1...2...
Steve Hebert: Corey Ashton kicks out!
Not only does he kick out, but he pushes Morgana incredulously off him.
Steve Hebert: Corey kicks out, sending Morgana sailing off him. He's quickly back up... but he catches Morgana, as she stumbles out from the corner. ABC-DDT! Yes!
Lex Robinson: Out of nowhere, he hits it! The cover is made!
Steve Hebert: I told you! I told you he's going to win!
Lex Robinson: This is not good... for Morgana!
Rolling over, Corey Ashton makes the cover.
...1...2...
Steve Hebert: There's one... two... and...
...3...!
Steve Hebert: Three! He does it again!
Lex Robinson: Oh no...
Steve Hebert: He's up TWO-pinfalls to ZERO! Hell yeah! Morgana doesn't have a goddamn chance.
Lex Robinson: It's only two pinfalls. It could be worse; but then again, this is pretty bad...
Steve Hebert: See?! Corey Ashton has never lost an Ashton Endurance Match! He's not starting nothing. Not to that little bitch.
Jumping up, Corey Ashton is like a madman, kicking and stomping at Morgana repeatedly, not giving the referee a chance to step in between the duo to restart things.
Lex Robinson: Pouncing on Morgana, he goes right back to work, not even letting her get a chance to regain her barings.
Steve Hebert: It's what he has to do. Scratch that, it's what he needs to do. Beat the shit out of her. Show her who's the boss. And I'm not talking about Tony Danza here.
Lex Robinson: But he was supposed to let the referee restart things!
Steve Hebert: Oh, who gives a fuck? We've got more important things to worry about here.
Hammering Morgana right with some right hands, he then uses some knife-edge chops to back her into the corner. Using all of his might, he whips her across the ring, headed straight to the opposite corner.
Steve Hebert: Pancake her!
However, Morgana is able to roll up-and-over the turnbuckles, soon landing on the side of the apron. Following in, Corey tries to clothesline her off the apron, but a battered Morgana is able to see this attack coming from a mile away.
Lex Robinson: Wait... she ducks the clothesline attempt! Using the middle rope to spring into the air, she connects to the side of Corey Ashton's head with a kick! That'll ward him off for the time being.
Steve Hebert: Yeah, but she's still in a 2-to-nothing hole.
Lex Robinson: Stumbling back, Corey places his hand on his temple, trying to shrug off the previous kick.
Using this time, Morgana uses the top rope as a springboard, vaults herself through the air and presses both of her feet together. She targets Corey's chest, aligning herself perfectly.
Lex Robinson: Morgana flies through the air, double-stomps onto Corey Ashton's chest and rides him to the canvas, like a surfboard! That's one way to try and turn things in your favour, I guess.
Steve Hebert: She doesn't stop there, either. In fact, she's like a goddamn monkey.
Lex Robinson: Indeed. Morgana is on fire, as she kicks and strikes at Corey, ultimately placing him on his hands and knees. Seconds later, Morgana climbs onto his back and uses Corey's own back to jump into the air! When gravity has its effect, she comes crashing down with a standing Shooting Star Press... onto Corey!
Steve Hebert: Right onto his back, too!
Lex Robinson: Now that's what I call revenge.
Rolling the Television Champ onto his back, she makes the count...
...1...2...
Steve Hebert: But she only gets a two! She's gonna have to try harder than that!
Lex Robinson: So close!
Steve Hebert: Too close for my liking.
Lex Robinson: She's motioning towards the corner. Stomping twice on Corey, she moves towards the corner and hurries up the turnbuckle pads. She has something big on her mind!
Steve Hebert: Fortunately, so does Corey, who quickly sits up, aware of the danger that is about to befall him. And he punches Morgana in the asshole, crotching her on the top rope! I told you he had something big on his mind.
Lex Robinson: On top of this, he's wasting no time in climbing up alongside her.
Steve Hebert: He's going to put her away for pinfall number three. Count on it!
Slowly, but surely, Corey Ashton climbs to the top, standing behind Morgana. From this position, he places her hands on her breasts, giving her tits a little jiggle.
Steve Hebert: Hell yeah! Rub those bad boys!
Lex Robinson: Sexual assault... great. Live on pay per view.
Steve Hebert: It is great, isn't it?! Jiggle them titties.
Finished stroking Morgana's breasts, Corey changes his position and places her in a reverse facelock.
Steve Hebert: Here he goes. He's going to send her across the ring...
Lex Robinson: Not quite! Morgana fights back, delivering some elbows to Corey's face!
Steve Hebert: He responds by elbowing her in the neck. That's good enough for me -- and it's good enough for him. It allows Corey to re-applying the reverse-facelock... here he goes...
Lex Robinson: It's reversed! Morgana rolls out of it and lands on her feet, with Corey still on the turnbuckles!
Seconds after landing on her feet and regaining her composure, Morgana sprints up the turnbuckle pads. Jumping onto Corey Ashton's shoulders, she peels back, nailing a top rope reverse-hurricanrana!
Steve Hebert: Oh Jesus!
Lex Robinson: Corey Ashton flies off the top rope, flopping on his skull! He has to be out!
Steve Hebert: Even worse is that whorebag is headed back to another top rope.
As Morgana instantly ascends to the top rope, she has Corey Ashton laid out in front of her. Like a missile, she rockets through the air, doing two complete rotations, landing harshly on an immobile Corey Ashton!
Lex Robinson: Variations on a Theme! We haven't seen that move in forever!
Steve Hebert: Of all the places... and all the matches she had to whip it out...
Lex Robinson: She has Corey covered; and is even hooking his leg...!
Obviously, the referee counts...
...1...2...
Lex Robinson: Can she climb out of the hole...?
....3...!
Lex Robinson: She does! She finally gets a pinfall!
Steve Hebert: Well, it's about time! That was just a pity pinfall from Corey, anyhow.
Lex Robinson: With the landing she made, I don't freaking think so.
Steve Hebert: Ugh.
Lex Robinson: She's still down by one pinfall, though. She needs to remain on the hunt.
Steve Hebert: That's right! She's still losing! That loser!
Once the referee hands the fall to Morgana, he goes to step in between the duo, trying to re-start things. However, like Corey before her, she pushes the referee aside, going right back on the attack.
Steve Hebert: Hey-- hey! That's not fair! She can't do that! Disqualify her. Give a victory to Corey Ashton.
Lex Robinson: Uhm... no.
Steve Hebert: Ridiculous! This can't happen!
Lex Robinson: It did. Deal with it.
Steve Hebert: You'd never see Corey Ashton do something like that!
Lex Robinson: [sarcastic] Yeah, let's not forget about 10 minutes ago, or anything.
Hovering over "The Crescent Star", Morgana punches and kicks at him, doing her best to keep him down. Eventually, her strikes send him into the corner, where he tries to stay afloat, reaching out and catching Morgana's foot in mid-kick. Stepping out from the corner, he tries to take advantage by flipping Morgy onto her back, but she's able to make a complete 360 degree turn.
Lex Robinson: Morgana lands on her feet!
Steve Hebert: She's like a goddamn cat. I just want to stuff her into a gym bag and drown her!
Lex Robinson: You're despicable.
Steve Hebert: No, I'm not Mexican, retard. I just want to see Morgana's downfall!
Lex Robinson: As she lands, Corey tries to nail her with a clothesline, but again, she ducks. He spins around, hoping to grab onto her; but she drop-toe-holds him! He sprawls facefirst into the middle turnbuckle!
Steve Hebert: Agh. How embarassing.
Morgana moves into the opposite corner, leans against the pads and waits for Corey to rise. Once he does, she bursts forward, performing a cartwheel and then some tumbling catapults.
Lex Robinson: She's handspringing across the ring...
Steve Hebert: I hope she falls and breaks her neck!
Once she reaches Corey Ashton, she springs up, about to nail him with some sort of move into the corner. Realizing this, Corey steps forward, hooks onto her, wraps his arms around her waist and release belly-to-belly suplexes her!
Lex Robinson: Oh no! A miscalculation by Morgana!
Steve Hebert: Yes! That dumb bitch tumbles, alright. She tumbles right into the turnbuckles, landing directly on her back, too!
Lex Robinson: He drags her away from the ropes and covers her...
Seeing this, referee drops down, making the count...
Lex Robinson: He hooks the leg... and... hey! He has a handful of her pink tights, too!
Steve Hebert: You gotta do, what you gotta do...
...1...2...
Steve Hebert: One... two... and...
...3...!
Steve Hebert: Three! I knew working over Morgana's brittle back would be a great idea! Corey gets another victory!
Lex Robinson: She was not prepared. Alas, she's down by two pinfalls, yet again.
Steve Hebert: That's music to my ears, Lex. She thought she was on such a high, too; after getting that pinfall. Well, she's plummeted back to reality. That reality being she's not as good as Corey Ashton.
Lex Robinson: That psychotic bastard is even rubbing her, too. I can't believe Chris Carson would even associate with this weirdo.
Steve Hebert: He just wants to touch her. There's nothing wrong with that.
Lex Robinson: This is sick. That pervert.
Steve Hebert: Adora won't put out; so he has to settle for her. What's the big deal?
The referee moves in between the duo, seperating them, making Corey Ashton stop brushing against her, while allowing for Morgana to get back to her senses. It doesn't take long for Corey to return to the attack, though.
Steve Hebert: Here we go. Corey isn't going to sit back and let her recouperate. He's going to go in for the kill, get a fourth pinfall... and maybe -- just maybe -- relax a little bit. It's a piece of cake.
Lex Robinson: There's still a long wayto go.
Steve Hebert: Pffft.
Lex Robinson: Waltzing past the referee, Corey kicks Morgana, who is in the corner, holding her back. Next, he begins striking with some punches, which flatten her in the corner. With much vigor, he whips her across the ring -- and she crashes into the opposite set of turnbuckles!
Steve Hebert: There'll be no more of her scurrying and rolling up corners, escaping from Corey Ashton. He'll walk out with the Television Title, his pride and Morgana's pride. He's going to really rub it in.
Lex Robinson: In the corner opposite of Morgana, Corey adjusts his elbow-pad and strides in after her... but misses! She rolls out of the way!
Steve Hebert: She holds her back, though. It's difficult for her to stand. After missing the previous shot, Corey turns right back around and hammers her with an elbow to the neck. That'll teach her not to roll out of the way. What a cunt.
Lex Robinson: Pulling her near, he hoists her up into a vertical suplex position... only to drop her legs across the top rope and then perform a slingshot-suplex! He rolls over, making the cover...
Steve Hebert: Here's the count!
...1...2...
Lex Robinson: Morgana kicks out!
Unhappy with what he perceives to be a slow count, Corey hollers at the referee and then rises to his feet. Again, he lifts Morgana up by her hair, but is quickly stifled by an immediate shot to the face!
Lex Robinson: Morgana, out of nowhere, slaps Corey across the cheek!
Steve Hebert: That wench! Corey isn't going to take that.
Lex Robinson: You can say that again. He fires back with a punch that knocks her back, pushing her against the ropes. Following in, he goes to strike her again... but she connects with a kick to his gut. Not only that, but she flips backward over the ropes, delivering a double-mule kick, in the process! Both of her feet connect with Corey's jaw, sending him stumbling backwards!
Landing on the outer portion of the apron, Morgana soon views an angry Corey Ashton rumble towards her, like an angry rhino. Seeing his charge, she ducks down, allowing her to shoulderblock him in the stomach.
Lex Robinson: Stopping Corey in his tracks, Morgana looks as if she's going to sunset-flip him... she does!
Slingshotting over the top rope, she sunset-flips over Corey Ashton, attempting to take him down. Shaking, Corey threatens to fall backward, into a pinfall...
Steve Hebert: No! Stay up!
However, at the last second, he reaches onto the top rope, steadying himself. On top of that, he sits atop Morgana, holding her legs down.
Steve Hebert: He's on her, instead! He's making the pinfall!
Lex Robinson: Yeah, but he's holding onto the ropes!
Steve Hebert: Good! Count, referee, count!
Lex Robinson: That's illegal! The referee knows it. Hell, Corey Ashton knows it. The referee has no other choice but to demand Corey to release the pinfall attempt.
Steve Hebert: Oh, c'mon.
While the arguing between Corey and the referee occurs, Morgana comes to her senses and uses her legs to finally sunset-flip Corey.
Lex Robinson: Morgana rolls Corey up!
Steve Hebert: But--... no!
As she hooks him down, the referee counts...
...1...2...
Steve Hebert: He kicks out! Thank Jesus! He should just kill that referee... and Morgana, too.
Springing to his feet, Corey immediately gets in the referee's face, complaining about the lack of a pinfall made. This, of course, blinds him to Morgana, who also jumps up, ready to go back on the attack.
Steve Hebert: Tell that referee, Corey. Tell him what an asshole he is.
Lex Robinson: I think he'd better turn his attention back to Morgana. She's standing behind him, waiting for her prey to turn around...
When Corey turns around, Morgana pounces on him. Again, he sees her coming. Just like before, when they were on the floor, Corey throws her into the air, hoping to rid himself of her. Unfortunately, he just throws Morgana over himself and the referee, landing behind the ref.
Steve Hebert: He launched Morgana into the air!
Lex Robinson: But she lands on her feet, behind both Corey and the referee. Corey turns around... and Morgana leapfrogs over the referee, pushing herself off his shoulders! She lands knee-first onto Corey Ashton's shoulders, now! Without a second thought, she pushes herself up, stands on his shoulders and then falls down, delivering a hurricanrana, which she tranfers directly into a pinfall!
Steve Hebert: Holy moly... what the hell is going on here?
Lex Robinson: The referee drops down, making the pinfall...!
...1...2...
Lex Robinson: She tucks his legs down... he can't escape...!
...3...!
Lex Robinson: Yes! Morgana with the pinfall over Corey Ashton, who kicks out one second too late!
Steve Hebert: Aughhh... it's all good. He's still leading. Right? Right.
Lex Robinson: This could be the momentum that Morgana needs.
Steve Hebert: Yeah, look at how that turned out the last time!
Again, Corey Ashton is up and he's furious. He gets in the referee's face, holding him by the collar, threatening to punch him in the face. His anger gets the bast of him, as Morgana comes up behind him, taking him by surprise.
Steve Hebert: Wait... wait... she can't do this! Corey is busy talking to the referee!
Lex Robinson: It's his own fault!
Morgana with a version of the Prawn Hold! She rolls through, holding his legs down, having him in complete disarray!
Lex Robinson: She makes the cover, again!
Steve Hebert: No! What the fuck?! This is happening too fast!
In a whirlwind, the referee drops down, making the count...
...1...2...3...!
Lex Robinson: Another three-count in favour of Morgana! She's tied it up! The score is now 3-to-3!
Steve Hebert: No! This can't be happening!
Lex Robinson: Oh, it's happening!
Steve Hebert: What the mother of God?! No!
Once more, Corey Ashton kicks out one second too late. By the time he's back up, the referee has awarded this fall to Morgana, who now has the crowd rallying behind her, getting them on their feet.
Lex Robinson: What a comeback for Morgana, who steps into the corner, watching Corey Ashton rise.
Steve Hebert: Man, oh man, he is pissed. If anything, he needs to get back to basics. Get back to working over her back; take her flight away from her.
Slapping his hands off the mat, show frustration, Corey Ashton is back up, focusing on his nemesis, who has just tied things up. Having the match re-started, Corey is quick to re-apply a side-headlock, returning to how he started the match.
Steve Hebert: There we go. Wear her down.
Lex Robinson: He captures her with a side-headlock, refusing to release the hold, wanting her to pass out from exhaustion. However, just like earlier, she fights back, hammering him in the ribs with some punches.
Steve Hebert: Don't let her go. Whatever you do, don't let her go, Corey.
Lex Robinson: Don't speak so soon. Morgy pushes Corey away... wait...
Steve Hebert: Hell no! He grabs onto her hair and pulls her back in. That's what I'm talking about. Even moreso, he's striking her with some repeated kneelifts to the face, which will surely knock her the fuck out.
Throwing Morgana into the corner, Corey douses her with some rights and lefts, wanting her to stay immobile. Choking her over the top rope, Corey begins pushing down on Morgana's head, trying to deplete her of oxygen. Soon enough, after draping her over the top rope, Corey bounces off the furthest set of ropes and returns, hoping to jump across her back.
Steve Hebert: This is going to kill her. Do it! Do it, Corey, do it!
Lex Robinson: He bounces off the ropes, returns and leaps at Morgy...
Steve Hebert: She moves! Shit!
Lex Robinson: Which means Corey ends up crotching himself on the middle rope!
Steve Hebert: His poor testicles. Someone needs to give them a rub.
Lex Robinson: It certainly won't be me.
Steve Hebert: Man up, Lex. Give his balls a rub.
Lex Robinson: Never! And neither will Morgana, who bounces off the ropes and returns with a swinging kick between the middle and top rope, smacking her feet off Corey Ashton's chest!
Steve Hebert: Oh no, he falls back, leaving him laying parallel to the turnbuckles. You just know that bitch will capitalize on it, too.
Lex Robinson: Damn right. The fans are on their feet and Morgana quickly jets to the top rope.
When the time is right, Morgana somersaults off the top rope, adding in an extra corkscrew. Seeing this, Corey pops up and rolls safely out of the ring.
Steve Hebert: Corey Ashton moves...!
Lex Robinson: Luckily for Morgana, she's able to land safely on her feet! The fans are booing Corey's getaway.
Steve Hebert: Those idiots. That was actually a smart move.
Lex Robinson: Either way, he's right in front of us. And he just took my wayer bottle... great.
Steve Hebert: He's using the water to cool himself down. I don't blame him.
Dumping water over himself, Corey throws the bottle back at Lex, striking him in the face.
Lex Robinson: Ow! Hey! That was uncalled for! I have water all over me.
Steve Hebert: If only you'd get electrocuted.
After flicking the water bottle at Lex, Corey Ashton turns around, only to walk right into a baseball-slide dropkick from Morgana, which knocks him backward.
Steve Hebert: Holy shit, watch out!
Lex Robinson: Aghhh...
Corey Ashton goes spilling over the announcer's desk, nearly toppling over Lex and Steve. As he rises up, Morgana takes several steps back and then dashes forward.
Lex Robinson: Oh God, here she comes now...
Steve Hebert: Oh Jesus, watch out.
Lex and Steve scramble out of the way as Morgana uses the booth to push herself up and connect with a swinging-kick to Corey Ashton, which sends him tumbling over the ring railing!
Steve Hebert: Corey, no...! He's just fallen into the cesspool that is the front row, amongst those filthy Philistines.
Rolling back into the ring, Morgana watches as a dizzy Corey Ashton tries to recompose himself, using various audience members to help him up. When he stands, he pushes several fans away, turns around and looks into the ring, where imminent danger comes over him.
Lex Robinson: Shaking the cobwebs out of his head, Corey looks directly into the ring. Oh God, what's Morgana up to?
Steve Hebert: Up to no good, that's what.
Running from rope-to-rope, Morgana sprints across the ring and jumps onto the top rope, which is nearest to the announcers. Without a warning, she rockets into the air, performing a 360 degree somersault! Soaring through the air, she flies over the announcers, the ring railing and lands in the front row, taking down an entire path of fans, including Corey Ashton, who had pulled a random fan in front of him.
Lex Robinson: Holy Goddamn! Morgana just flew!
Steve Hebert: And she crashlanded like a downed helicopter! Corey Lidle has nothing on her!
Lex Robinson: This is no time for your Yankee hatred! Fans, chairs, Corey Ashton and Morgana are sprawled all over the place. Standing up, she uses a forearm to knock Corey back into the ringside area.
Springing onto the railing, Morgana jumps off and lands onto Corey with a double-stomp, drilling both of her feet into the back of his skull!
Lex Robinson: Her back is showing no signs of damage, as she propels herself back into the ringside area.
Steve Hebert: At a time like this, a little bit of spinal cancer would be nice.
Lex Robinson: What a despicable thing to say.
Steve Hebert: Deal with it, shitlick.
Lex Robinson: Grabbing Corey by the hair, she smashes his face off the apron and pushes him back inside. Go Morgy!
Steve Hebert: Go Morgy off a cliff. That's what I'd pay to see happen. Let's see her take on gravity, then.
Crawling onto the apron, she stands up, watching and waiting for Corey to stand. Once he does, she goes for the jugular, figuratively.
Lex Robinson: Morgana slingshots herself onto the top rope, turning her back to Corey and then back-springboards, aiming straight at him! She goes for the 720 degree DDT!
Steve Hebert: But Corey swings around, holding on to her tightly! Rotating around, with Morgana still swinging from him, looking for that DDT, Corey does one more rotation and completes a Northern Lights Suplex!
Lex Robinson: With a bridge, too!
Steve Hebert: Yes!
The referee sees this and starts his count...
...1...2...
Lex Robinson: One... two... no! Morgana kicks out, continuing things!
Steve Hebert: God-fucking-damnit! I hope that bitch is killed in a drunk driving accident on New Year's Eve, that old bag.
Morgana is able to roll out of the pinfall attempt, making Corey sit up, looking displeased. As she gets up and walks to him, she is taken aback by a quick elbow to the gut from him.
Lex Robinson: He strikes with a silent, but lethal elbow, which bends her over. From here, he nails her with a European uppercut... and then brings her to the canvas with a single-leg takedown.
Steve Hebert: Good. This is what he needs to do. Wear her down, Corey.
Lex Robinson: It hasn't worked well, so far, though.
Steve Hebert: Shut your mouth, greasy.
Holding onto her right leg, Corey rolls her onto her stomach, holding her in a standing Bow-and-Arrow position.
Lex Robinson: Morgana's in a submission position.
Steve Hebert: Maybe she'll be like Stevie Swing from earlier in the night and just pass the fuck out.
Lex Robinson: Hell no, she's fighting back.
Steve Hebert: That isn't going to last long. Corey is now putting her leg behind his head, tying her into a Stretch Muffler submission. He's bending her in half, even placing a foot on her back, applying even more pressure. Now that's what I like to see. Break her into two piece -- a piece with her legs and another piece with her stupid head and big old tits.
Lex Robinson: If that happened, I'm afraid of what Corey Ashton would do with the pieces.
Steve Hebert: There had better be lots of lube, in that case.
Lex Robinson: Morgana's fighting back, not wanting to submit. Of course, if she does, she'll be down by one.
Steve Hebert: Even more important is that Corey will be one step closer to winning this match.
Lex Robinson: Eh, with pain flushed through her face, Morgana pushes herself up, reaching out for the ropes. Like a serpent, she shakes and writhes, trying to pry herself free. Fortunately, this allows for her to partially rise... and then roll between Corey's legs, tripping him! Even with the pain in her back, she jumps up to his head and applies a crossface!
Steve Hebert: Hide Daniel! Hide the Bibles! Jesus Christ, hide Nancy! Adora, you're next!
Lex Robinson: Aware of his awful predicament, Corey rolls away from the hold and slips to the outside -- yet again looking for another breather!
Steve Hebert: Did you just call him a "mouthbreather"?
Lex Robinson: Uh, what? No.
Outside, relaxing against the side of the ring, Corey fiddles with his tights, trying to gather his thoughts. Meanwhile, Morgana readies herself to take flight.
Lex Robinson: Bad back and all, Morgana is ready to fly. This is nuts!
Steve Hebert: If only an imaginary brickwall would form.
Lex Robinson: Here she goes...!
Charging across the ring, Morgana sprints and dives through the ropes...
Lex Robinson: Tope suicida...
Steve Hebert: Uh...
Lex Robinson: Wait, as she dives through the rope, Corey smashes her in the head with his fist! And... uh... he dropped something. Is that brass knuckles?
Steve Hebert: It is! Oh god, a brilliant move! Working on her back didn't cripple her, but that sure as hell did!
Having removed brass knuckles out of everyone's sight, Corey Ashton smashes Morgana with them, just as she was about to dive. As a result, she hangs across the middle rope, with Corey sliding inside.
Steve Hebert: He's rolling her up into a jackknife position...
Lex Robinson: And putting his legs on the ropes, in the process... something which the referee does not see!
Steve Hebert: He has down and out!
The referee makes the count, oblivious to Corey's legs on the middle rope...
...1...2...
Lex Robinson: One... two...
...3!
Steve Hebert: Three! He does it! He has one more victory to go! Yes! Yes! My God, yes!
Lex Robinson: But... his legs were on the ropes!
Steve Hebert: Doesn't matter; that bumbling, retarded, blind, crippled ref didn't see it! Notch another pinfall for Corey Ashton.
Lex Robinson: And he's not even waiting for Morgana to get back up... which, I guess, is wise; but not very legal.
Steve Hebert: We've been over this. If it gets the job done, then it gets the job done.
Lex Robinson: First, he had his feet on the ropes; now he pushed the referee away, straddles her and pounds her with repeated fists. What's she to do?
Steve Hebert: She can lay on her back, like a real woman, and take this with pleasure.
After hammering Morgy with punches, Corey drags her to her feet. Kicking her in the stomach, he pulls her into a standing-headscissors position. Within seconds, he has her upside-down... and drops down, piledrivering her!
Steve Hebert: Now that's what he should be doing... that being dropping her on her head. Fuck her stupid back.
Lex Robinson: He rolls atop her, making the cover...
...1...2...
Lex Robinson: One... two...
Steve Hebert: He can do it...
...
Lex Robinson: No! She kicks out!
Steve Hebert: What the mother of shit? I thought she was supposed to be unconscious!
Lex Robinson: She still has some fight left in her. Even Corey is surprised at her movement. Right away, he lifts her up, bionic elbows her and shoves her into the corner. In here, he strikes with a series of punches, finishing off with another elbow to her head. Soon, he has her seated on the top rope.
Steve Hebert: Errr... I don't know if this is such a good idea...
Lex Robinson: Either way, he's moving forward, even striking her with an uppercut, which hopes to keep her in place.
Steve Hebert: I mean, they were in a similar sitatuion earlier; and things didn't go so hot for Corey. Just stick to dumping her on her head.
Lex Robinson: Actually, I see what you're saying. Corey Ashton is taking quite the risk here.
Alongside her, on the top rope, Corey batters her with some punches, which he hopes to drain her of energy and vitality. Placing one arm around her, he goes to add his second, but has Morgy headbutt him in the nose!
Steve Hebert: Ugh... I was afraid something like that would occur.
His eyes welling up and his wits assorted, Corey steps down a turnbuckle and holds his nose. This allows for Morgana to scratch him across the back, jump onto him and latch both of her feet onto his shoulders. Using momentum in her favour, she snaps forward, nailing the top rope sunset-flip powerbomb all the way onto the canvas!
Lex Robinson: She snaps him off the top rope! What a sunset-flip bomb! She has her legs trapped over his shoulders!
Steve Hebert: No! Please kick out...!
The referee counts...
...1...2...
Lex Robinson: One... two...
...
Lex Robinson: And...
...3...!
Lex Robinson: She does it! We're even again!
Steve Hebert: No, no, no! This means the next pinfall wins!
Lex Robinson: You better believe it. Corey Ashton has lost his lead, yet again! If he wants to win, he better get back up and do what he needs to do.
Steve Hebert: He needs those goddamn brass knuckles.
Morgana and Corey roll into seperate corners, adjusting themselves, trying to regain their senses. Eventually, they're right back where they started -- standing opposite of each other, going face-to-face, with the next fall determining the victor.
Lex Robinson: Just one pinfall left! Who will take it?! Who will walk out as the champion?! Who will walk out with their head held high?!
Steve Hebert: More importantly, if it isn't Corey Ashton, I'm gonna barf. My God, will someone please hand him those brass knuckles?
Lex Robinson: They're worn down... tired... beaten, but they're still in search of one more pinfall. In unison, they step toward each other, with Corey looking very peturbed about losing his lead. As he goes to grab on to her, she steps around him, waistlocking him. Thinking quickly and intelligently, might I add, Corey hammers her with an elbow! Yowzers.
Steve Hebert: Good. Focus on the head. Break her neck, if you have to.
Lex Robinson: Speaking of which...
Corey Ashton grabs Morgana by the neck and slowly turns her around. While pinching her ass, he drops down to the ground, driving her to the canvas with a neckbreaker!
Steve Hebert: That's more like it!
He rises, slightly dazed, and happens to stumble against the ropes. Sensing Morgana beginning to rise before him, he steps out, nailing her across the temple with a kick to the face!
Steve Hebert: Yes! Keep her down!
Lex Robinson: Instead of covering her, Corey goes to lift her up... but she inside-cradles him!
Steve Hebert: Whoa...!
...1...2...
Steve Hebert: No! He kicks out!
Lex Robinson: But he was surprised as hell! Glistening with sweat, he stands to his feet, delivering a running-knee to the side of Morgy's head, her pink hair fluttering as she drops to her knees. Lifting her back up, he kicks her in the back and then applies a reverse-facelock Dragon Sleeper!
Steve Hebert: This might work!
Lex Robinson: At this point, she's tired and may not have the energy to escape from it.
Steve Hebert: For Corey's sake, I hope you're right.
With all the energy she can muster, she remains on her feet, despite Corey's attempts at taking her down. Thankfully, she is close to the ropes, which enables her to reach out and break the hold.
Lex Robinson: She has the ropes! The hold must be broken!
However, Corey refuses to break it.
Steve Hebert: Uh oh...
Lex Robinson: He's not breaking it!
Steve Hebert: That stupid ref is giving him the five-count, now...
Lex Robinson: Good! Disqualify him! Give Morgy the victory!
...1...2...3...4...
Steve Hebert: He releases! Before the five-count, too, mind you.
Lex Robinson: But he instantly locks it back on!
Steve Hebert: Well... good for him.
Her arms dangle wildly, looking for an escape route. Fortunately, she finds one, as she drags Corey into the corner and climbs the pads. She flips back, landing atop Corey Ashton, covering him. If he wants to kickout, he'll have to release the hold.
Lex Robinson: Morgana reverses the Dragon Sleeper! She flips herself off the ropes and rolls him up...
The referee counts...
...1...2...
Steve Hebert: No! Corey kicks out!
Lex Robinson: Which means he also releases the Dragon Sleeper! Sitting up, he quickly bounds to his feet, grabs Morgana by the arms and pulls her up. He hits her with a bridging Straitjacket Suplex!
Steve Hebert: Yes! Now it's Morgana who's down!
The referee counts for Corey Ashton...
...1...2...
Lex Robinson: No! Morgana rolls out!
Frustrated, Corey Ashton gets to his feet before the pink-haired, former World Champ. Locking her tight, he stands her up, slaps her across the face and seems to draw her ire.
Lex Robinson: Corey fires another blow at her...!
Steve Hebert: She ducks! What the goddamn. He should never have slapped her.
Lex Robinson: Whirling around, Corey goes to elbow Morgana, but she again ducks. Hopping onto the middle turnbuckle, she flips back and brings Corey down with a tilt-a-whirl headscissors! And they both spring up, yet again!
Steve Hebert: He goes to take her off her feet with a lariat... but that also misses. Goddamnit, she needs to stop teleporting out of the way.
As Corey turns around, he is met by Morgana, who 3/4 facelocks him. Right away, she flips into the air, going for the Fata Morgana!
Lex Robinson: Fata Morgan-- no!
Corey instantly charges at the ropes, dumping her onto the apron, where she lands on her feet.
Steve Hebert: Damnit, should have heaved her to the floor!
Lex Robinson: She's on her feet. She thwarts a punch from him by striking with a forearm of her own, knocking him back! She uses the top rope as a springboard and somersaults through the air...!
Steve Hebert: But Corey Ashton steps out of the way, making her slam onto the canvas! Maybe those knuckles really did knock something out of her!
Lex Robinson: And he's stalking her, too... literally and figuratively.
Moving in, Corey Ashton grabs onto her, about to go for the ABC-DDT!
Steve Hebert: Here it is!
Lex Robinson: No! Morgana pushes him back!
Steve Hebert: Oh man, now he's pissed. He charges at her...
Lex Robinson: And she charges at him! She ducks beneath another clothesline. Flipping forward, she bounces upside-down off the ropes and handsprings back, while Corey also bounces off the ropes! She twists her body around hits a Tornado DDT! That's the Feminine Mystique!
Steve Hebert: No! She drove his head directly into the canvas!
Lex Robinson: She rolls onto him, hooking his leg...
The referee counts...
...1...2...
Lex Robinson: One... two...
...
...3!
Lex Robinson: Three! She does it! After planting Corey Ashton's head into the canvas, she's done it! She's come back and officially won this match! Corey Ashton's undefeated streak in Ashton Endurance Matches has come to an end!
Steve Hebert: Oh, rub it in, why don't you?!
Lex Robinson: It's over! Morgana has won! She's also the new Television Champ! She really has stripped Corey Ashton of everything. He's gotta be fuming.
Steve Hebert: Funniest thing of all? No Chris Carson.
Lex Robinson: What's he supposed to do? Hold Corey's hand?
Steve Hebert: They're supposed to be a team... a trinity... a bond. But look where that went.
Worn down, tired and out of breath, Morgana is on her feet, getting her hand raised by the referee, who then hands the Television Title to her. Viewing this, Corey Ashton becomes visibly annoyed, rolls out of the ring and slaps his hands off the canvas.
Steve Hebert: He's pissed and rightfully so. I would be, too. Chris Carson should have been out here, helping him. But he was nowhere to be seen.
Lex Robinson: You're just being ridiculous now.
Kicking the ring steps, which were dislodged earlier in the match, he walks to the back, also quite tired, but getting considerable jeers from the audience. Morgana, on the other hand, takes this time to celebrate her victory, getting a grand cheer from the fans, as she holds her newly won title high into the air.
Lex Robinson: You're looking at the new Television Champion, who has just bested Corey Ashton, 5-falls-to-4. She'll move on tonight's main event, in which Corey Ashton will also be participating. Will this be the first or two victories tonight for her?
Steve Hebert: God, I hope not. If I don't see Corey Ashton, Declan Turner or someone like that flinging bodies out of the ring, left and right, then I'm going to kill someone.
The final images shown are that of a tired Morgana, fresh off an epic battle, exiting the ring, wrapping the Television Title around her waist.
Winner: Morgana
Instead, he taps Corey on the shoulder, splintering Page's gaze towards the ringside area.
Corey Page: Oh, hey... it's you. You all ready for your big match tonight?!
Feigning some punches, Corey pretends to strike at his protege, whom stands back, not playing around. Noticing Crux's demeanour, Corey immediately questions him.
Corey Page: What's wrong? Are you still roughed up from your encounter with Casanova?!
Crux: This is no time for games. I'm going into a big match... and...
Corey Page: Yeah, yeah... I know. You can do it. Do it for me!
Rubbing his arm, Crux's eyes peer to the side.
Crux: Well... you see...
Corey Page: Hmmm? What?
Crux: ...I'm leaving you.
Corey Page: ...What?! Huh? You're leaving me!
Nodding his head, Crux narrows his eyes at his now former trainer.
Crux: I'm sorry. I found someone else. Someone else to train me.
Corey Page: You can't be serious. You're leaving me! But why?!
Crux: I... look... I'm seeing someone else. He's training me, now.
Corey Page: I... I see.
Crux: I'm really sorry, it's just that... you don't fulfill me and my needs.
Corey Page: Well then.
Corey Page looks distressed, while Crux continues to peer hopelessly aside.
Crux: I just want to say sorry. And... well... I hope you're not too mad.
Not knowing what to say, Corey responds.
Corey Page: Hmmph... no, no. It's fine. I'll be fine. Just fine. Fine...
Crux: Well... okay then.
With that, Crux walks away, headed towards the ringside area, for his Ultraviolence Title match. Left alone, Corey Page appears sad.
Corey Page: But who's a better trainer than me?! Hmph!
The image fades out, just as Corey is left to think to himself.
Roxy Erikson: Are you fuckin' on?
Up.
Down.
The camera moves as if the cameraman is nodding.
Cameraman: That's what this little light means.
Roxy: Good, good, 'cause I've got things to say!
The view pans back, exposing the scenery around Roxy to be the site of the big Hollywood sign. She's got a cigarette in one hand and a bottle of Bacardi 151 in the other.
Roxy: Listen to me, Sin Wrestling, because this is the night of Roxy motherfuckin' Erikson! And you know how I know this?
She gestures behind her, to the large letters, as she leans on the first O, specifically.
Roxy: You can't spell Hollywood without HO and WOOD...which makes this my kind of place! So, Crux...
She smashes the bottle over the closest part of the letter, and gestures menacingly toward the camera.
Roxy: ...this is your last chance to step away, before I bust you up in the ring.
She sneers, flicking her cigarette butt away, and motions for the cameraman to cut the feed. Unfortunately, there's a sudden whoosh behind her, as the bottom half of the O next to her catches ablaze from the alcohol and her cigarette.
Roxy: Oh...crap. No, don't air this. Just cut it. Seriously. Shit...
Roxy bolts out of sight, as the camera moves side to side as the cameraman shakes his head, filming the O burning up. Finally, the camera fades out.
Heavier guitars come in hard as the main riff of the song starts, as the pyro erupts high into the air, while on the big screen eruptions flare out as well, finishing the original initials with "Roxy Erikson" as the crowd goes wild! Appearing at the entrance and stalked with multiple spotlights is Sin Wrestling's favorite party animal!
They say it's over budget but you pay her just to touch it
Come on!
Roxy Erikson dances her way to the edge of the entrance ramp, popping the corks on the bottle of champagne she has in each hand. She pours them over her body, which is barely clothed as in, in quite the trashiest of attire. She's wearing a barely-there bikini top, with a gaudily silver strip of fabric that may pass in extremely loose circles as a mini-skirt. Her shoes...well, her shoes are six inch glass heels, within which are live goldfish.
If Hollywood had called her she'd be gone before you holler
Come on!
As to further raise the bar, she dances her champagne-soaked way down to the ring, grinding her largely bare ass against the guardrail, fans extended arms, and even fans' faces on her way down. Several excited looking young teenagers have their faces slapped heartily with her tits, before she slides triumphantly into the ring, whereupon she produces, cuts, and snorts a fresh line of coke! She strikes a stripper pose in the center of the ring as the remainder of the pyro goes off around the stage and entrance, and her music fades away.
Lex Robinson: The Ultraviolence Champ, Roxy Erikson, is here!
Steve Hebert: And she's pouring booze all over herself... and her title.
Lex Robinson: She snorted a line, too. You should join her.
Steve Hebert: Ugh, I'd rather not. What a disgusting beast of a woman. Makes me wanna puke, you know?
Lex Robinson: You'd hit it. Admit it, Steve.
Steve Hebert: Never!
The arena falls into darkness. The music of "Head Down" by Nine Inch Nails begins to play, starting the crowd up with mild cheers. Crux steps out from behind the curtain and is lit up in the darkness by a white spotlight. He is shirtless and wearing a black ski mask, black fingerless gloves, tattered black sweatpants, and black boots. He slowly and quietly walks toward the ring carrying a black steel chair, only to stop halfway down the aisle, turn around and face the entrance.
And this is not my life
And there is not a single thing here
I can recognize
This is all a dream
And none of you are real
I'll give anything
I'll give anything
Lex Robinson: Hmm... what's Crux doing?
...Chris Extreme!
Steve Hebert: Holy hell! It's Chris Extreme!
Lex Robinson: Chris Extreme is here! What the hell?!
Steve Hebert: Crux was talking about having a new trainer! This must be him! Holy god yes!
Lex Robinson: I thought he died last December, at Christmas at Stevie's?!
Grabbing a cart full of weapons from the backstage area, Chris Extreme steps on the back of it and glides towards the ring. Bolting past Crux, almost knocking him over, a closeup shows Chris Extreme's jaw barely hanging on, a result of a self-inflicted gunshot wound.
Lex Robinson: Look at his jaw!
Steve Hebert: He looks like Baraka from Mortal Kombat!
Chris crashes the cart against the side of the ring and motions for Crux to step forward. Giving him a pat on the ass, he lets Crux roll inside and hands him a chair.
Lex Robinson: I don't think Roxy is even prepared for this!
Steve Hebert: How could she? Everyone thought he was frickin' dead!
Clutching her bottle of booze, Roxy bursts forward, just as the bell rings.
Lex Robinson: Here we go! The Ultraviolence Champ storms ahead, swinging that bottle at Crux's masked head!
Steve Hebert: Letting out a wail, Crux ducks... and the bottle smashes off the top turnbuckle!
Lex Robinson: There goes that.
Steve Hebert: Don't speak so soon, she has a weapon already in her hand.
Roxy dives at Crux with the broken bottle, but he steps back, holding a black, steel chair in his hand. For the second time in a row, she tries to stab him, but Crux's instincts kick in and he swings the chair at Roxy's hand.
Lex Robinson: Crux nails Roxy's hand with that chair! As a result, that bottle smashes even further! Roxy is left with a bloody hand, with glass shards in it! From the floor, Chris Extreme is hollering at Crux, telling him to capitalize on it.
Steve Hebert: If Chris were in that ring right now, he'd already have Roxy's ovaries pulled out and have them shoved down her throat!
Lex Robinson: Crux hoists the chair above his head, he's going to strike Roxy with it...
However, when he swings it forward, Roxy is able to duck, bloodied hand and all, spin around and then kick Crux in the spine! From here, she reaches around his mask and begins scratching and clawing at his eyes, like an angry cat.
Steve Hebert: If I was Roxy, I'd turn that mask around on his face and pound away on him... but that's just me.
Lex Robinson: That might just happen.
Steve Hebert: God, I hope so.
Going from scratching to annoying slapping, Roxy beans Crux across the back of his skull several times, no doubt dizzying him. Taking full advantage of this, she twists his nipples... and then bites them.
Steve Hebert: Oh God... oh God no. She's going to bite off his sexy, manly nipples!
Lex Robinson: Crux is in agony! The only thing he can do is clap his hands together around her ears, creating a ringing inside of her head. Freed from her filthy, disgusting, nicotine-stained teeth, he bounces off the ropes and returns with a simple clothesline, in this hardcore match.
Steve Hebert: To be fair, anything to get that dirty bitch away from him would be good.
Lex Robinson: Stepping into the corner, he has Chris Extreme toss him some items from inside of the cart. He hands Crux a crutch... and then begins throwing other things inside of the ring. There's a keyboard! A Ninja Turtle lunchbox! A jug of water on a stick! what the hell?!
Steve Hebert: I don't know, either.
With the crutch in his hands, he waits for Roxy to rise. In due time, he sprints out from the corner and swings the crutch into her midsection!
Lex Robinson: Ow! That crutch almost cracks in half!
Steve Hebert: She's bent over... and he's going for another shot with it!
Lex Robinson: Bam! He smacks the crutch across the back of Roxy, officially breaking it into two pieces! One side of it goes flying into the audience!
Steve Hebert: Lawsuit!
Lex Robinson: It barely missed a fan. Good lord.
Steve Hebert: Yup, that would have been a fine lawsuit right there.
On her hands and knees, leaving a tiny trail of blood behind, Roxy crawls into the corner, allowing Crux to pick up the keyboard. Watching as Roxy comes stumbling out, he winds up... and smacks it across her face!
Lex Robinson: Keys go flying everywhere!
Steve Hebert: Were those keys or Roxy's teeth?!
Lex Robinson: Could have been both, for all I know. I hope Jimmy Luciano is watching this. He won the number one contendership match earlier in the night, so he gets to take on whoever wins this bout. Right now, Crux is on top, having smashed a keyboard against Roxy's face!
Steve Hebert: Yup, Roxy's at Crux's feet, begging for mercy. Begging? What am I saying? She's just getting him ready to lowblow him!
Lex Robinson: ...and she does! With her own head! Roxy smashes her head into Crux's testicles! And now... now... now she's biting Crux's testicles! Oh my!
Steve Hebert: Holy shit... gnaw them off!
Lex Robinson: Chris Extreme is on the floor, going nuts!
Steve Hebert: This is something he'd do, too!
From outside, a bewildered Chris Extreme reaches into the ring, grabs onto Roxy's foot and drags her to the outside. As she's pulled out, she also tugs on Crux's scrotum with her teeth, possibly doing even more damage!
Steve Hebert: Jesus God.
Lex Robinson: Chris drags Roxy to the floor. However, she responds by using her bloody hand to slap Chris across the jaw! I think it may have loosened his jaw, too! Oh god, it did. Look at it hanging off.
Stumbling back, Chris Extreme has to fix his jaw, giving Roxy full access to the cart full of weapons. Reaching inside, she pulls out several light tubes and throws them into the ring. She even pulls out a wicker basket and heaves it inside, as well.
Steve Hebert: Looks like someone's been shopping at Wal Mart.
Lex Robinson: Getting to her feet, Roxy lifts up the wicker basket... and slams it across Crux's head!
Steve Hebert: The basket breaks and Crux's head is caught inside, with the stupid thing covering his face! And I'm not talking about that stupid sick, which is already cover his face. I'm talking about the wicker basket!
Lex Robinson: Falling on his butt, Crux tries to pry the basket off his head, but to no avail. Thinking quickly, Roxy bounces off the nearby set of ropes and returns with a sit-down dropkick to the basket and Crux's head!
Steve Hebert: It pops off! Thank heavens.
Not giving Crux any time to stand or recover, Roxy is immediately stomping on his masked face. Soon after, she staggers near the lights tubes, sits Crux up and then places one next to his head.
Lex Robinson: What's Roxy doing?
Steve Hebert: She's placing one of those lights near Cruxy's head.
Lex Robinson: You mean Crux's head.
Steve Hebert: Same difference.
Lex Robinson: While holding the tube next to his head, she swings her foot forward... and kicks him in the head! The glass tube shatters across the back of his skull, as he rolls forward, only the back of his head! Getting up, he looks for Chris Extreme for some aide... only to receive another glass light tube across his head!
Steve Hebert: Right into his bleeding nipple!
This shot sends Crux falling to the outside, holding his various body parts. Stumbling about, he accidentally bumps into Chris Extreme, who tries to straighten him out and give him advice. Unfortunately, this means they're giving Roxy some time to conjure up something else.
Steve Hebert: Crux and Chris need a better gameplan if they want Crux to regain that title.
Lex Robinson: Plus, if he wins, he'll need a better way of going about things in his match with Jimmy Luciano. If Roxy retains, though, she'll just go at Luciano, trying to rip out his eyes.
Steve Hebert: Kinda like what she's doing tonight.
Picking up two more lights tubes, Roxy takes one and throws it onto Chris and Crux, smashing it off them!
Steve Hebert: Oh shit!
Lex Robinson: Glass sprinkles everywhere!
Steve Hebert: And here comes Roxy, too!
Strapping the other light tube down her bikini top, Roxy bounces off the furthest set of ropes and comes springing forward. Leaping over the top rope, she carelessly flings her body through the air and comes crashing down onto both Crux and Chris Extreme!
Steve Hebert: She smashes that light tube on them... with her own body!
Lex Robinson: It wasn't as fancy as a dive from Morgana... but it was as effective! Especially with that light tube strapped to her.
Steve Hebert: She's grabbing Crux and lifting him up by his mask, too. Bam! She smacks his face off the ring railing, that'll hurt anyone. That's nothing but steel, no amount of masks can protect against that.
Lex Robinson: Crux stumbles away from Roxy, trying to free himself from her rampage. Instead of backing off, though, she goes right back on the attack. For example, she takes that cart Chris Extreme brought down and begins pushing it toward Crux!
Steve Hebert: Uh oh...!
Lex Robinson: Wait--...! Chris Extreme yanks Crux out of the way! Roxy Erikson goes crashing into the ring railing!
Steve Hebert: Awww! Chris Extreme has a heart, after all.
Lex Robinson: Hell, Chris Extreme scoops Crux up... and then throws him at Roxy, like a missile!
Steve Hebert: See?! Not even Chris Carson would do that for Corey Ashton. Wanna know why? Because Chris Carson is just a no-goodnik.
Crux's flying body catches Roxy by surprise and therefore takes her down. Getting up, he adjusts his mask and goes looking for plunder in the cart.
Lex Robinson: Crux has got something... what is it?
Steve Hebert: It's a case of booze! Roxy will love this!
Lex Robinson: With some help from Chris Extreme, Crux begins opening some of the beer and then pouring it on Roxy, trying to drown her in it. Unfortunately, it has the exact opposite response they were hoping for.
Steve Hebert: Is she... is she... she's Roxying up!
Lex Robinson: The alcohol seems to give her some sort of power, she's getting up.
Steve Hebert: It's retard strength, Lex!
Not knowing what else to do, Crux smashes an empty glass bottle over Roxy's head. It has no effect.
Steve Hebert: She just shrugs off the smashing of that bottle across her head! Instead, she leaps at Crux, jumping into his arms and begins clawing and wailing away at him! Punches are being rained upon him, he can't escape!
Lex Robinson: Fortunately for Crux, Chris Extreme steps in, grabs her by the hair and lifts her up.
Steve Hebert: She spits in Chris Extreme's face! How dare she?! Not only that, but she then forearms him, knocking him against the ring railing! Crux tries to cool her down, but she turns around and then knees him in the face! That'll keep him down. Picking him up by the mask, she rolls him inside and begins looking beneath the ring.
Lex Robinson: She's pulling out a table and is going to push it into the ring.
Before she can slide the table inside, Crux gets up to his feet and charges in at her. Giving the table a baseball-slide dropkick, he knocks it into Roxy's face, dropping her on the floor!
Lex Robinson: Both Roxy and the table fall back to the floor... with the table crashing onto her. As she lays on the ground, holding her face, Crux goes to the top rope.
Steve Hebert: What the...?
Lex Robinson: He flies off the top rope... landing on Crux, who is still on the floor, with a flying splash! Ouch! He hooks a leg and goes for a cover!
Steve Hebert: Does this count?! Is this Falls Count Anywhere?!
Lex Robinson: The referee is counting, so... I... I... guess!
Like Lex states, the referee counts.
...1...2...
Lex Robinson: Roxy kicks out!
Steve Hebert: I think Crux's nipple may have fallen off with that splash.
Lex Robinson: Holding his ribs, Crux rolls off Roxy, taking some time to catch his breath. Seeing the table, he begins to get to his feet, where he motions for Chris Extreme to help him set it up.
Steve Hebert: And Chris helps, too! See, he's much better than terrible Corey Page.
Lex Robinson: Chris Extreme, of course, being revealed as Crux's new trainer... after he unceremoniously dumped Corey Page. What a heartbreaker that was.
Steve Hebert: Corey probably cheats on him by training other people.
Once the table is setup, Crux stands Roxy up, chops her in the throat and then suplexes her onto the floor.
Lex Robinson: Crux suplexes Roxy onto the cold, hard, unforgiving floor. After that, he picks her up and then bashes her face off the ring railing, shades of what she did to him earlier.
Steve Hebert: Taking a few steps back, he picks up the case of alcohol and looks eager to smash each bottle across Roxy's back. Here goes...
Lex Robinson: No! Wait!
In a clump, on the floor, and holding her head, Roxy picks up a handful of glass from the light tubes. Seeing Crux hover around her, about to smash some bottles off her, she quickly throws the glass into Crux's eyes, temporarily blinding him!
Lex Robinson: She throws glass in his eyes, blinding him!
Steve Hebert: Oh crap, he stumbles back... and accidentally bumps into Chris Extreme... and he headlocks him, thinking Chris is Roxy!
Lex Robinson: Big mistake there! Chris pushes Crux away, clarifying him of his mistake. However, while this occurs, Roxy is taking whatever's left of the alcohol and is pouring it all over herself!
Steve Hebert: She's even soaking the fans!
Lex Robison: She takes one guy and begins pouring beer down his throat!
Steve Hebert: Disgusting. You don't know where that beer has been!
Finally clearing out his eyes, Crux is suddenly smashed behind his head, with another beer bottle. Dropping him to the floor, he tries crawling away, eventually making his way to the announcer's table.
Lex Robinson: Crux is here, trying to get away from Roxy, who continues washing everyone in alcohol. She comes out way!
Steve Hebert: Oh god, give me a tetanus shot, Lex.
Pouring alcohol on Lex and Steve, Roxy takes the bottle she has now and blasts it across the back of Crux's skull, sending him sprawling over the announcer's table!
Steve Hebert: Ugh... we're covered in Roxy juice... and we have Crux laid out in front of us.
Lex Robinson: Roxy just pushes Chris Extreme away and then begins looking underneath the ring. She pulls out a small ladder and then wedges it onto the ring apron and our table.
Steve Hebert: She's coming our way, again...
Lex Robinson: Grabbing Crux by his mask, she smashes his face off our desk... and then off the ladder! With all of her strength, she pulls on his mask and places him laying across the ladder. She's up to something, Steve.
Steve Hebert: I, for one, am horrified.
Lex Robinson: A fan in the front row offers her his chair... and she takes it!
Steve Hebert: Those nefarious douchebags need to stay out of this!
Lex Robinson: Roxy wallops Crux, as he lays across the ladder, once... twice...
Out of the corner of her eye, she notices Chris Extreme make his way behind her, trying to grab the chair out of her hands.
Lex Robinson: She turns around... and smashes the chair across Chris Extreme's face, too! Good lord!
Steve Hebert: He falls on his back, a victim of Roxy's lunacy!
Placing the chair across Crux's chest, Roxy climbs onto the ring apron. Moving into the corner, she climbs onto the second rope, wails at the crowd, who cheer back, and then jumps off the middle rope...
Lex Robinson: Roxy jumps...!
...and she lands on Crux, delivering a second-rope back-splash onto Crux, who had the chair across waist, sandwiching him onto the ladder!
Lex Robinson: What a splash! Crux remains hanging lifelessly there, his arms dangling down! Roxy makes the cover... as he remains on the ladder, which is still suspended in the air, thanks to the ring apron and our table!
Steve Hebert: Ugh... she jumps on him, throwing the chair aside. The referee is counting on the apron...
...1...2...
Lex Robinson: One... two...
...
Luckily for Crux, the ladder snaps in half and both of them go falling onto the floor!
Lex Robinson: The ladder snaps in half! The count is broken!
Steve Hebert: Speaking of broken, that ladder has split apart! It's no wonder after that assault from Roxy!
Both competitors are hurting, with Roxy being the first to rise. Clotting the blood spilling out of her hand, she finds a piece of cloth and wraps it around her hand. This idling allows for Crux to briefly regain his senses, giving him the chance to revive himself.
Lex Robinson: Roxy grabs Crux by the mask, hammers him in the face with some punches... but Roxy punches her in the... uh... vagina!
Steve Hebert: Oh dear...
Lex Robinson: There are muscles down there. This makes Roxy stumble back, holding her... uh... crotch. Breathing hard, Crux stumbles behind her, takes her face and then smashes it off the ring steps! He even grabs a handful of broken glass, stuffs it down Roxy's tights... and then kicks her in the vagina!
Steve Hebert: A glassy vaginal kick! Ouchies!
Lex Robinson: She'll be pulling shards out of there all night!
Pulling the cloth of Roxy's hand, Crux grabs it and begins milking more blood out of it by chewing on the cut!
Steve Hebert: Is he insane?! Does he want AIDS?! Roxy Erikson is going to retain the title by way of AIDS!
Lex Robinson: This is horrifying! Crux is like a dog! He takes her hand, places it on the ring steps, grabs that steel chair and blasts it onto her hand! God-damn!
Steve Hebert: Look at the blood left behind on the steps, too! This is sick! I'm not touching it!
Trying to escape from Crux, Roxy tries sliding into the ring, but he grabs onto her, stopping her halfway. Climbing onto the outer portion of the ring apron, he picks her up, rips at her hand some more and then pulls her in with a standing headscissors.
Lex Robinson: Crux is going to work on Roxy... he hoists her up... straitjacket piledriver! Chris Extreme, who has gotten back to his feet, is demanding Crux cover her!
Steve Hebert: He's ignoring Chris Extreme, though. He's deciding to pull himself to his feet and is now dragging Roxy near the table he set up earlier. Hovering over the table, on the outer part of the apron, he lifts her up and standing headscissors her again...
Lex Robinson: No! Wait! Roxy headbutts him in the crotch, again!
Steve Hebert: Her head drives right into his cock!
Flabbergasted, Roxy tries grabbing onto Crux, but the wound in her hand is too much. As she tries to give him a modified Roxy Ride off the apron, and through the table that's on the floor, she's unable to hang on.
Lex Robinson: She can't keep her hold on him! She lets go of him!
Steve Hebert: What's worse is she nearly lost her balance and fell off the apron, through that table, on her own.
Lex Robinson: This slip-up has given Crux the chance to fight back and strike with punches. Hoping to knock her through that table, he hammers her with chops to the eyes and throat, getting a bit dirty with things.
Steve Hebert: Roxy blocks another one of those chops, though, returning with an eye-gouge of her own! She grabs Crux's head, attempting to bulldog him through the table...!
Lex Robinson: No! Crux hangs on! Still on the apron, he replies by kicking her in the gut and then lifting her up into a suplex position, hoping to brainbuster her on the hard portion of the apron! Man, that'd be lethal!
Steve Hebert: No! She slides out behind him! She grabs his mask, spins him around and is going to try and DDT him through the tab-- no!
Lex Robinson: Crux pushes her away! She charges back... Crux with "The Cutter ouf of Nowhere!" off the apron and through the table, which is on the floor! Oh my goddamn!
Steve Hebert: She wasn't ready for that. Her stupid, bleeding hand couldn't hold him tight!
Lex Robinson: Crux with the cover...
The referee counts...
...1...2...
Lex Robinson: One... two...
...
...3!
Lex Robinson: Three!
Steve Hebert: CHris Extreme did it!
Lex Robinson: Uh, no. Crux did it!
Steve Hebert: It doesn't matter! Chris Extreme trained Crux and it has led him to regaining the Ultraviolence Title!
Once the bell rings, thereby signalling the end, Chris Extreme grabs the Ultraviolence Title away from the ring announcer and wraps it over his own shoulder.
Steve Hebert: He's holding it as if it's his own belt!
Lex Robinson: It'll be Crux versus Jimmy Luciano. As for Roxy, she can go on the main event tonight and try to one-up him. We'll have to see...
Chris Extreme picks Crux up and drags him to the back, slapping him on the shoulder, proud of his trainee. Roxy Erikson, on the other hand, plucks herself up out of the broken wood, looks annoyed with her title loss, but still celebrates by downing the last of the alcoholic beverages, even pouring it onto the fans.
Winner: Crux
Medic: Are you okay, Stevie? I don't think you're good to go.
She doesn't respond. Instead, she takes a swig from a bottle of water.
Medic: You passed out, while clinched into "The Silencer". You didn't win the World Title; but the good news is: you didn't submit.
Suddenly, Stevie becomes serious.
Stevie Swing: What?!
Medic: Yeah, you passed out whilst locked in The Silencer.
Stevie Swing: What the fuck?!
Medic: Uh... I don't know what else to say...
Stevie Swing: This can't happen! I didn't submit! I should be the champ! That match shouldn't be over!
The medic has no idea how to respond, as he cluelessly looks around.
Medic: I'm... I'm sorry, but...
Out of nowhere, Stevie stands up, pushing the medical official out of her sight.
Stevie Swing: I did not quit! The match should still be happening! This is not right!
She stumbles off, still a little dazed, but more alert than she had been.
Woke animal feelings in me
Took over my sense and I lost control
I'll taste your blood tonight
Casanova steps out onto the stage, glowering over the audience, before striding down the ramp and ignoring the fans. On the screen, the image slowly trails up the silhouette of the man walking with the chair, rising until it reaches the outline of his shoulders and head, the eyes suddenly visible in flashes of red, as the image shatters like glass, replaced by "Casanova," spelled out in a trail of blood.
You know I make you wanna run from me baby
But know it's too late you've wasted all your time
Casanova slides into the ring, rolling into a crouch in a corner with a fangy smirk. The screen and music fade, as he adjusts his gloves and waits for the match to start.
Lex Robinson: Finally, it comes down to this. Two months of battling, week in and week out at every Eternity. Declan Turner finally deals with Casanova.
Steve Hebert: Did we ever find out where Casanova took Declan after that TV title match with Roxy?
Lex Robinson: All we know is that Declan was put out of commission for six month and that Casanova was solely responsible!
Steve Hebert: I hope he didn't rape him. Because I'm an easily jealous person.
"I can go out there tonight-- the materials you got-- make myself $15,000. Tonight! In two hours! Can you?"
"You hear me you fuckin' faggots?!"
it's the gorilla
and if they feel ya, they screamin' like
Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!
Like Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!
mistah, mistah
quick to get wit'cha
chick, if she get the whip for this
she be like
Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!
Like Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!
Lex Robinson: That cage is constructed of titanium steel alloy, wrapped in United States federal prison regulation barb and razor wire. Getting caught on it, is like Velcro to the flesh. Folks, if you have young children, we encourage you--...
Steve Hebert: To turn this fucking thing up! Blood and guts! Whoo!
The cage is lowered around Declan and Casanova, as they stare each other down. The bell rings and they remain immobile.
Lex Robinson: The fans are getting restless as the two men shoot daggers at each other.
Steve Hebert: What kind of gun shoots daggers?! Declan has a gun that shoots daggers?!
Casanova is the first to make a move as he charges at Declan. Catching him off balance, both men collapse to the mat, flailing wildly at each other with a flurry of punches!
Lex Robinson: Nevermind! Here we go, Steve!
Steve Hebert: Punch, punch, punch... slap, punch, forearm... punch, punch, punch!
Lex Robinson: That's pretty accurate. Casanova is the first to stand up, grabbing ahold of the ropes and stomping wildly away at Declan's frame. Casanova suddenly loses his balance, as Declan catches his foot, twists his leg and drops him to the mat! Floating over him, Declan immediately tries to go for the Bundle of Thorns!
Steve Hebert: Aye... Declan is going right after Casanova, trying to wear him down...
Lex Robinson: This match is off to a great start, with both men desperately trying to get the upper hand! Casanova is barely hanging on with that one-legged Boston Crab!
Steve Hebert: Oh god, the excitement is killing me inside. I hope it's not VD.
Lex Robinson: I'm sure it's something. Reaching underneath him, Casanova hooks around Declan's leg, pulling him backwards...
Shifting his weight, Casanova rolls underneath Declan and rises up with an anklelock!
Lex Robinson: What a reversal!
Steve Hebert: Like a goddamn snake.
Declan howls in pain as Casanova grins from the flawless reversal, locking it in tighter!
Lex Robinson: Declan's reaching out... trying to get to the ropes...
Steve Hebert: He's almost there, just a little further...
Declan is able to make it to the ropes, but the referee is unable to tell Casanova to break the hold.
Lex Robinson: Declan shakes the ropes in agony, as he pulls himself up from the bottom rope to the second rope.
Steve Hebert: He hops up onto one leg!
Lex Robinson: Reverse enziguri from nowere! Wow!
Steve Hebert: That kick came from nowhere! However, it nails Casanova square in the nose, causing him to release the hold, which is good enough for me. Holding himself, Declan hobbles towards the corner to try and shake some blood back into that leg.
Lex Robinson: At least the match is nice and clean so far. Both competitors are showing some outstanding form tonight.
Steve Hebert: Fuck that, I hope they rip each others limbs off and use them as clubs! More violence, please, for Christ's sake.
Casanova, spitting and shaking off the last ditch move by a struggling Declan Turner, runs at his opponent with a high forearm, rocking the former lawyer in the jaw!
Lex Robinson: Pow!
Next, Casanova goes to whip Declan into the opposite corner. The force of the move is so great that Declan spins upward and gets hung upside down on the ropes!
Steve Hebert: Tree of Woe! Declan is hung upside-down, in a Tree of Woe, in the corner! This can't be good!
Lex Robinson: It's not... because here comes Casanova...
Charging in, Casanova hits a baseball-slide dropkick to Declan's face, bringing him down like a sack of potatoes!
Lex Robinson: Declan seems to be lost at the moment; nursing that leg and trying to shake off that dropkick.
Steve Hebert: Where is the blood?! I WANT BLOOD! Jesus Christ, come on!
Lex Robinson: You'll probably get it sooner than later. Grabbing Declan around the head, Casanova lifts him up once again, but this time he is able to shake away from his grasp with an eye rake!
Casanova turns around, trying to soothe that left eye, as Declan bounds off the ropes and grabs a handful of Casanova's hair for a single-handed bulldog!
Lex Robinson: Down goes Casanova, who flops face-first, flat on the mat, as Declan rises up. Bouncing off the ropes, he jumps into the air to unload a flying legdrop... but catches nothing but canvas!
Steve Hebert: Casanova rolled the fuck out of the way! This means Declan is once again nursing the same leg that Casanova torqued earlier!
Lex Robinson: Declan just can't seem to find a rhythm tonight.
Steve Hebert: Yeah, he's like you a night club!
Lex Robinson: I'm just saying Declan may be outclassed in this match up.
Steve Hebert: Speaking of outclassed, who dresses you? That suit is cheaper than a date with your mom.
Lex Robinson: I have been owned.
Steve Hebert: Definitely.
Trying to regain some momentum, Casanova approaches Declan, as the man struggles to stand. Feigning a grapple, Casanova kicks Declan hard in the stomach, doubling him over. The force of the kick causes Declan to gasp for breath; but Casanova doesn't give Declan any time to recover, as he follows through with a hard Yakuza Kick to the temple!
Steve Hebert: And Declan is down again!
Lex Robinson: After that big kick to the face, Casanova goes for a quick pinfall...!
The referee counts...
...1...2...
Lex Robinson: Only a two!
Steve Hebert: Declan kicks out with ease, obviously. If Casanova wants to keep him down, he's going to have to destroy him. Literally.
Lex Robinson: I agree. Cas will have to try harder than that to get Declan to stay put.
Steve Hebert: Thanks for the echo, shit-dick.
Once again, Casanova lifts Declan back up to his feet, placing him onto his shoulders with a Torture Rack hold! Spinning around, he throws Declan off, trying to reverse Death Valley Driver him; but loses his balance, as Declan finds footing on the middle turnbuckle!
Lex Robinson: A bit of luck surrounds Declan, as he lands on his feet and now he goes for something else...
Steve Hebert: ...going for a neckbreaker!
Lex Robinson: I think so, too...
From the turnbuckle area, Declan reverse-facelocks Casanova. Jumping off the turnbuckles, he swings around Casanova and nails him with a spinning neckbreaker, driving him onto the canvas!
Steve Hebert: I told ya so!
Lex Robinson: The move, although powerful, seems to only daze Casanova as he already gets up to his feet! In a desperation attack, Declan kips up and nails Cas with a round-house kick, sending him over the ropes and into the razor wire of the cage! Ouch!
Steve Hebert: Yes, finally!
Lex Robinson: The wire digs mercilessly into Casanova's skin, as he moves around, trying to free himself from it!
Steve Hebert: Just what I like!
Casanova yelps as his skin tears; blood seeping over the metal like water. Collapsing to the floor, he struggles to remove himself from the bundle of wire that has enveloped one of his legs. In a true arrogant fashion, Declan sniffs the air and points out of the ring.
Steve Hebert: Declan's got him right where he wants him, too.
Lex Robinson: The guy's a sociopath, redefined.
Steve Hebert: Don't make him come over here and rub your face in this mesh. This barbed-wire mesh. God, it'd cut you to pieces.
Lex Robinson: Ugh... awful. Smiling, Declan slides out, careful to avoid the precarious barbed-wire and pulls a table out from underneath the ring.
Steve Hebert: Even better!
Casanova is almost out of harms way as he detaches the remaining wire from his boot. Gritting his teeth, he sets his jaw and goes after Declan, who is setting up the table!
Steve Hebert: Watch out, Declan! Casanova is armed and angry... a lethal duo!
Lex Robinson: And Casanova may have found a new reason for trying to destroy Declan!
Casanova rushes Declan from behind, kicking him in the right leg. As Declan collapses, Casanova grabs his opponent's head and hits a Reverse DDT onto the floor!
Steve Hebert: Declan hits the dirt, which he certainly doesn't enjoy.
Lex Robinson: He rolls Declan back into the ring...
With another quick roll up, Cas uses the ropes for leverage...
Lex Robinson: Here we go...
Steve Hebert: Casanova is putting his legs on the ropes! You're not saying anything about that!
Lex Robinson: This is different, Steve. This is a war. Things have to bedone differently.
Steve Hebert: Hey, I'm not going to deny it's good strategy or anything, I'm just pointing it out.
The referee is counting...
...1...2...
Lex Robinson: Declan kicks out at two!
Steve Hebert: And the match continues... which means more violence!
Lex Robinson: Furthermore, it seems as though it's Declan's turn to taste the razor-wire.
A huge boot to the gut sends Declan skidding underneath the ropes and into the wire! Trying not to flail, Declan detaches his arm from the wire as small chunks of flesh peel away from his arm!
Steve Hebert: Oh God... disgusting!
Lex Robinson: It's what we're all here for. You even said so.
In the ring, Casanova smiles, licks the blood from his own hands, reaches outside and drags in the table, moving it into the corner.
Steve Hebert: Oh god, now he's licking it?!
Lex Robinson: Cas is no stranger to pain.
Steve Hebert: He's probably not a stranger to Hepatitis, either! Ugh!
Peeled away from the barbed-wire, Declan looks under the ring and pulls out a chair.
Lex Robinson: Now for some more special toys...
Sliding inside, Declan leaves a trail of blood, while hoisting up the chair! Casanova notices this, but Declan steps aside from his attack, and the chair comes down hard on the back of the head of an unsuspecting Casanova!
Steve Hebert: Declan blasts that steel chair across the back of Casanova's skull! I think the chair may be broken!
Lex Robinson: It wouldn't surprise me one bit. Sneering, Declan unfolds the chair and sets it up in the center of the ring. He lifts Casanova to his knees and sets his head on the seat of the chair. Uh oh.
Steve Hebert: It's like some sort of horrifying bear trap.
Bouncing off the opposite ropes, Declan leaps into the air, kicking out his legs like a bicycle, and drops his heel across the back of Casanova's neck, hitting his finisher, Blood Money!
Lex Robinson: Blood Money!
Steve Hebert: And it breaks the chair... even further!
Lex Robinson: The chair collapses inward! Declan is making the cover...!
Steve Hebert: Yes! He's going to do it!
Lex Robinson: Declan may have finally turned the tables!
...1...
Lex Robinson: He kicks out! He kicks out at one, even! Holy shit!
Steve Hebert: Casanova is a goddamn warrior. Or a sparta... actually, no, he's a vampire. But still!
Shocked at the lack of a pinfall, Declan stands up to catch his breath. Rushing to lay a kick into Casanova, Declan is surprised when his opponent jumps up and blocks the attack!
Lex Robinson: Casanova is up! He's making his own attack! It's like he just shrugged off the previous damage and is going after Declan Turner!
Steve Hebert: There seems to be a trickle of blood coming from Casanova's nose. I wonder if it's broken. Do vampires even get broken noses? Do they even get colds & flus?
Lex Robinson: I have no clue.
The two men are back to brawling, nailing each other with huge rights and lefts! Suddenly, Declan gets the upper hand and whips Casanova into the corner. Rushing in after him, Declan goes for a huge body splash!
Lex Robinson: Here comes Declan... but Casanova ducks and pushes Declan into the air! The backdrop sends him flying into the side of the cell, getting his body meshed in the barbed-wire! Goddamn!
Steve Hebert: That even hurts me!
Lex Robinson: Ditto. It hurts to look at it.
Declan now hangs in mid-air, wrapped to the corner of the cage, bound in razor wire, unable to move.
Lex Robinson: This is serious folks; those barbed-wire strands can bust veins and arteries... as it's apparent by the blood pouring from Declan's back and neck!
Steve Hebert: I'm gonna be sick.
Lex Robinson: Good. Maybe it'll shut you up.
Laughing manically, Cas drags the table towards the corner where Declan hangs, bleeding like a stuck pig. Climbing the top turnbuckle, Cas wraps his arms around Declan and pulls him free of the wire, tearing his flesh like paper as he puts Declan through the table with a huge German Suplex from the top rope!
Lex Robinson: Oh my God! Declan was just flung like a ragdoll!
Steve Hebert: And ended up being smashed through that table. Good Jesus, he lands in a pile of his own blood.
Lex Robinson: By the time the night is over, someone may be dead.
Steve Hebert: Good. Get the morgue ready.
Blood and wood splash and splinter everywhere as Casanova lays over Declan for the cover!
Lex Robinson: Casanova slides up to Declan and lays his arms across his chest...
The count is made...
...1...2...
Lex Robinson: One... two... thr--...
...
Steve Hebert: Hell no! Declan gets his shoulder up!
Lex Robinson: Just in the nick of time!
In disbelief, Casanova cannot believe that Declan has kicked out. In a rage, he tears the remaining wire from himself and slides back out of the ring for another table. Meanwhile, Declan rolls to his side and begins to cough up blood.
Lex Robinson: This is intense... Declan looks utterly destroyed right now.
Steve Hebert: He looks like something I ate for dinner yesterday.
Lex Robinson: Yeccchhh!
This time, it's Casanova's turn to find a table from underneath the ring and slide it underneath the ropes. Declan is barely hanging on, as Casanova sets it up in the center of the ring.
Lex Robinson: Casanova hs brought another table in here. Of course, considering what we just witnessed, this means nothing but danger.
Steve Hebert: Sounds like fun to me.
Lex Robinson: I'm not sure if Declan can take much more. But then again, he is beginning to stir...
Out of nowhere, Declan slashes Casanova's leg with something, prompting him to whip around, utterly confused.
Lex Robinson: Declan jumps up... and then slashes at Casanova's chest with a broken piece of serrated metal from the other table! He's trying to drive it into Casanova's chest!
Steve Hebert: Just like a stake! A sweet, tasty, yummy steak.
Lex Robinson: Now it's really on! Declan is trying to murder Casanova openly!
Steve Hebert: As if shooting him point-blank wasn't?!
The two men roll around on the mat, bleeding and oozing crimson over each other. Finally, Declan shifts his weight and mounts Casanova in full-guard and raises the metal above his head. Slamming his fist down to the mat, Casanova is able to move his head at the last second, as a patch of his hair is spiked into the mat with the force of Declan's thrust!
Lex Robinson: Jesus!
Steve Hebert: Scalp him!
lbowing Declan in the face, Cas pushes him off and tears his head away from the mat, as the metal rips and tears a small patch of his hair away from his scalp!
Steve Hebert: This cat's gonna need Rogaine!
Lex Robinson: Some of Casanova's very own hair has been ripped off! Good lord! The two men, covered in blood, find themselves struggling to stand as Casanova climbs the top turnbuckle. Declan, still nursing his leg, tries to gain footing as Casanova nails him from the top turnbuckle with a flying somersault lariat!
Steve Hebert: That sends Declan out of the ring, bounding straight for the razor-wire! This is not good!
Trying to save himself from falling into the wire, Declan reaches behind him, grabbing the ropes, inadvertently tangling himself up. Mercifully, the blood soaked limb manages to slip through the grip and sends him tumbling to the floor. Cas stands up and smiles to the crowd as he slides out after Declan. Lex Robinson: These two men are trying to kill each other. I don't know if it's just a death wish.
Steve Hebert: I think Cas dissed Declan's shoes.
Lex Robinson: Casanova is following after him. What else can they do to each other?!
Steve Hebert: I'm guessing a whole lot more.
Nursing his arm and leg, Declan struggles to stand, as he sees Casanova approach him. Pretending to be hurt, he allows Casanova to walk around to his side of the ring.
Lex Robinson: As Casanova steps out from behind the post, Declan springs into action, spearing Cas through the cage door! It gives way with such violence, that the two men sprawl out into the open walkway, almost mummified in razor wire!
Steve Hebert: Jesus Christ, those fans were lucky that the side of the razor-wire cage didn't land on them! ...What the fuck am I saying? Why couldn't it have landed on those bunch of assholes?!
Lex Robinson: So close... my God...
Medical technicians, who were previously unable to tend to the wounded, crowd around the two men. In an inhuman display of strength, both men seem irritated that they are surrounded by them. Both pairs of their hands are cut deeply and drip dark blood as they rip the wire from their bodies. Shrugging the teams off, the two men stare at each other, covered in blood, both seemingly unfazed by the trauma they have endured.
Lex Robinson: Neither one of them are refusing to give up!
Steve Hebert: At least give them a towel or something. They're bleeding fucking everywhere! It's like the opening scene from the first Blade movie. Remember Blade, Lex? The vampire hunter... Wesley Snipes... you know?
Lex Robinson: Yes, I know what you're talkin about, Steve. And yes, this is nuts.
Casanova stares at Declan and simply points his finger upward.
Lex Robinson: Wait, they're not going up there... are they?
Steve Hebert: It sure as hell seems like it.
Lex Robinson: Narrowing his eyes, Declan rushes to the side of the cage. In a mad dash, both men climb the cage, careful to avoid heavier wraps of barbed wire and trying to get sturdy foot placements as they scale the cage. They both try to be the first person up there!
Steve Hebert: Slow down... it's not a race!
At the top of the cage, both men meet again, getting to their feet as the crowd is in an uproar!
Lex Robinson: They're on top of the cage! Someone is surely going to die!
Steve Hebert: DECLAN, CAN I HAVE YOUR STEREO?!
Both men charge at each other!
Lex Robinson: Here they go... fighting atop the cage!
Steve Hebert: A huge right cross from Declan! A solid uppercut from Cas! A huge knuckled backhand from Declan! Cas with the headbutt! Declan with a fierce right to the temple! Cas with a kick to the gut! DESTINY CALLING!
Lex Robinson: Cas hit his move, but both of them are exhausted!
And both men go down on top of the cage, once again wrapped in wire! Several minutes pass as the crowd cheers, trying to get them back to their feet. Both of them stand; steel and barbs picking and clinging to their flesh. Cas swings at Turner with a huge right, but Turner catches his fist with his hand!
Steve Hebert: Casanova goes to hammer Declan... but the shots are stopped... by Declan!
Lex Robinson: Declan thinks he's Superman catching a bullet, as he catches Casanova's own fist!
Declan Turner raises Casanova's arm and kicks him hard in the gut! As Casanova doubles over, Turner grabs both of his arms in a doublearm-underhook...
Lex Robinson: Oh jeez... no...!
Steve Hebert: Oh yes...!
Lex Robinson: HE CAN'T DO THIS!
Steve Hebert: YES HE CAN, OBAMA!
Lex Robinson: Declan Turner lays Casanova through the top of the cage with The Celtic Spike!
The top of the cage wobbles and shivers...
Lex Robinson: My God...!
...the top sags down...
Steve Hebert: Uh oh...
The top of the cage gives away! Both Casanova and Declan plummet to the ring below, smashing through the table Casanova had priorly setup! Declan ends up accidentally splashing onto Casanova, with his arm resting over his chest, getting the cover...!
Steve Hebert: The top of the cage gave away! They go through the table and land on the ring! Holy Christ in my butt! Holy shit!
Lex Robinson: Goddamn brutal! Declan ends up falling onto Casanova! The pin is made...!
The referee counts...
...1...
Lex Robinson: One...!
...2...
Lex Robinson: ...two...!
...3...!
Lex Robinson: Three! Declan wins!
Steve Hebert: My God, they put themselves through hell. My respect for both men has risen majorly. These fans should be on their feet!
Lex Robinson: And yet... they have one more match to go! They have to be in the main event... the battle royal! How can they do it?!
Medics pour into the ring. Right now, neither man looks like a winner. These medics check on both combatants.
Steve Hebert: Are you kidding me? There's no way these two can continue into the battle royal. No goddamn way.
The winner, Declan Turner, is the first to move. He pushes away medics, rolls to the floor and exits to the back, bleeding profusely.
Lex Robinson: I guess Declan doesn't wany help.
Ironically, Casanova does the same thing. He sits up, covered in both his own and Declan's blood. He shoves all help away and exits to the back, happy to have been in this brutal match.
Lex Robinson: Correct. Neither man needs the help. Holy crap.
Sin Wrestling officials get to work, dismantling the cage. There's still one more match for tonight. but how can some of these people compete after what they've gone through?
Winner: Declan Turner
Cough...
Cough... cough... cough...
Corey Page: I don't feel so good.
While the barbed-wire cell is being deconstructed, the camera switches to the back, showing Corey Page shining the Sin Trophy. Using a toothbrush, he even cleans off some dirt, giving it a nice, beautiful glow.
Corey Page: [coughs] God, we should never had those events in Mexico.
He continues coughing onto the trophy.
Corey Page: Actually, I blame you guys.
The camera shifts behind Corey Page, showing the Day Labourers, The Masked Day Labourers and Johnnyboy. Riding a pig, Johnnyboy tries to tame it, but it's far too wild.
Johnnyboy: Ay yi yi... si!
...while The Masked Day Labourer gives a "thumbs up!"
Masked Day Labourer: ...
Cough... cough... cough...
Corey Page may not feel well; but the winner of the Sin Trophy will. Especially when they get to choose their own match for Vanity.
Lex Robinson: Do you what time it is, Steve?!
Steve Hebert: Time to kill ourselves?
Lex Robninson: Nope. It's main event time!
Steve Hebert: Close enough.
Lex Robinson: Let's get these guys out here and start the insanity.
Steve Hebert: In other words, we're going to spend the next hour doing entrances and introducing everyone.
Lex Robinson: ...Yes. That's the novelty of it all!
Steve Hebert: Very, very true. I can't deny that.
All of a sudden, the following flashes on the screen...
"I'm from the murder capital, where they murder for capital..."
IMMORTAL LEGEND STATUS
THE PAST.
THE PRESENT.
THE FUTURE.
"Lucifer" by Jay-Z hits over the P.A. as the lights start to flicker until it becomes pitch black for a brief moment. Then a string of white, red, and green pyros explode as the lights slowly turn back on. The smoke clears, and Jimmy Luciano is standing at the top of the entrance ramp with his hands raised up. Luciano is wearing the usual black ring attire. He walks down slowly pacing himself. He then walks up the stairs, turns for a brief second and finally enters the ring… The crowd erupts. A “Luci” chant breaks out.
Steve Hebert: The first person out is Jimmy Luciano, who made his return earlier in the evening. What a way to kickoff a return by winning this Battle Royal. Could you imagine what he'd do? He'd have the Sin Trophy and and he'd have an open invitation to anyone on the roster.
Lex Robinson: It didn't so him so good earlier in the evening.
Steve Hebert: All because of that stupid Jay. She literally stole victory from him. In fact, she should give him money.
Lex Robinson: I doubt that's gonna happen.
Steve Hebert: Hell, everyone else in this match is so beaten up and bruised, that Jimmy may actually have a chance at winning. Stevie Swing? Knocked unconscious by "The Creep". Morgana and Corey Ashton beat each other to death in an Ashton Endurance Match. As for Declan Turner and Casanova... Jesus, I'd be surprised if they're still alive.
Lex Robinson: That's the most correct you've been all night, Steve. If he does things right, Jimmy could in fact walk out as the winner. He has the history dating all the way back to FWF... and the way he was moping about Morgana's trailer earlier tonight, was just goddamn creepy. He has something motivating him, at least.
Steve Hebert: See?!
The crowd bursts into cheers as the opening guitar riff of "How I Could Just Kill A Man" by Rage Against the Machine erupts and Adam Cameron steps out onto the stage. With a quick smirk to the fans, he jogs to the ring, sliding under the bottom rope, before jumping to his feet. He dashes to the far corner of the ring, leaping onto the second turnbuckle and throwing both fists into the air with a yell. Hopping down to the mat, he turns around and bends over with his hands on his thighs, ready for the match.
Steve Hebert: Adam Cameron is out and he's representing the S.O.S.... I'd say he has a chance, but let's be real here. He doesn't. With Carson not even helping Corey earlier in the evening, what hope does he have?
Lex Robinson: You're still going on about that?
Steve Hebert: "The Creep" dropped the ball.
Lex Robinson: Don't be dumb. Corey Ashton lost the match by himself. Sure, he put in a great effort; but it wasn't good enough.
Steve Hebert: Figures.
The arena plunges into complete darkness, sending the fans at ringside into a total frenzy. Some flip open their cell phones, others hold their lighters up, all trying to get a glimpse of what’s going on. After about a minute of total black, Rihanna’s “Disturbia” begins to blare through the house speakers, accompanied by a deep red strobe light.
Bum bum be-dum bum bum be- dum bum
What’s wrong with me?
Bum bum be-dum bum bum be- dum bum
Why do I feel like this?
Bum bum be-dum bum bum be- dum bum
I’m going crazy now.
The arena goes dark again, and the fans continue to go crazy, only now their response is overwhelmingly negative. A spotlight shines onto the ramp, revealing the now famous pink glass and tissue paper vagina with its familiar silhouette.
The music kicks on again, and the spotlight is replaced by the deep red strobe from before. Stevie Swing bursts through the vagina, as Rihanna sings and the fans boo and throw their garbage at her. The Ironwoman of Sin Wrestling pays them no attention, strutting down to the ring in her moon boots and ring jacket, looking like she's been hit by a truck.
Put on your pretty lies, you're in the city of wonder
Ain't gon' play nice, watch out you might just go under
Better think twice, your train of thought will be altered
So if you must falter be wise
Your mind's in Disturbia, it's like the darkness is light
Disturbia, am I scaring you tonight?
Disturbia, ain't used to what you like
Disturbia, disturbia.
Disturbia, am I scaring you tonight?
Disturbia, ain't used to what you like
Disturbia, disturbia.
Stevie slides into the ring, popping up onto her knees at the center of it. There's no dancing and no taunting. It's just Stevie and everyone else, ready for action.
Steve Hebert: My Jesus, she looks like shit.
Lex Robinson: After the match she had with "The Creep", I would think so.
Steve Hebert: She tapped, too.
Lex Robinson: She actually did not!
Steve Hebert: Really? I thought she did.
Lex Robinson: Well, it didn't happen. She fell unconscious whilst locked into "The Silencer", giving "The Creep" the victory, much to the delight of his son, who was at ringside area.
Steve Hebert: What a way to start things... on a sappy note.
Lex Robinson: The fans loved it.
Steve Hebert: Fuck 'em.
The arena falls into darkness. The music of "Head Down" by Nine Inch Nails begins to play, starting the crowd up with mild cheers. Crux steps out from behind the curtain and is lit up in the darkness by a white spotlight. He is shirtless and wearing a black ski mask, black fingerless gloves, tattered black sweatpants, and black boots. Walking out behind him is Chris Extreme, getting a mixed ovation from the fans.
And this is not my life
And there is not a single thing here
I can recognize
This is all a dream
And none of you are real
I'll give anything
I'll give anything
As they walk to the ringside area, Chris Extreme gives Crux a homoerotic shoulder-rub and even pats him on the butt. Chris Extreme remains at the ringside area, watching as Crux shyly walks around the ring, waiting for things to begin.
Steve Hebert: I really can't believe he's still alive, you know? I thought for sure he was dead.
Lex Robinson: Chris Extreme is like a cat. He has 9 lives. You could call him Catman.
Steve Hebert: But why train such a... such a loser? Look at this Crux guy. He's wearing a sock on his face. A goddamn sock!
Lex Robinson: It's actually an inkblot mask, but... yeah.
Steve Hebert: What a weiner. Not Chris, but Crux.
Thunder echoes throughout the arena as the beat to "Like Yeah (DT Remix)" by Tech N9ne starts up over the arena. As the bass builds up, Declan's voice breaks through the cheers, boos, and drums:
"You hear me you fuckin' faggots?!"
A huge green pyrotechnic explodes in front of the entrance as Declan walks out in his ring attire, arms spread out and lip-syncing the chorus.
it's the gorilla
and if they feel ya, they screamin' like
Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!
Like Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!
mistah, mistah
quick to get wit'cha
chick, if she get the whip for this
she be like
Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!
Like Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!
Lex Robinson: Declan Turner also looks like... well... crap.
Steve Hebert: Considering he and Casanova just put each other through Hell... in a Cell, then I'd say so. I mean that literally, too.
Lex Robinson: Declan powerbombed both himself and Casanova through the top of that goddamn barbed-wire cell. I'm still in disbelief.
Steve Hebert: Listen, the fact that both of them are still alive, is amazing. They both earn respect in my books.
Lex Robinson: Now that's something I never thought I'd hear you say.
Steve Hebert: Hey, it doesn't happen often.
"You Can't Stop Me" by Guano Apes leaks through speakers and the lights fade as dizzying white spotlights begin to swirl around the audience. Jay walks out from the back wearing a pair of black nylon pants with a v-shape waist seamlessly tucked into leather knee-high black boots with a small heel and an electric blue corset. She finishes walking down the ramp, kind of ignoring the crowd, and slides underneath the ropes. She then proceeds to her respective corner and calmly waits for the match to begin.
Lex Robinson: Jay is here. Earlier in the night, she came close to becoming the number one contender to the Ultraviolence Title...
A brief shot of Chris Extreme holding the Ultraviolence Title for Crux is shown.
Lex Robinson: However, it was Jimmy Luciano that toughed it out and came out on top.
Steve Hebert: But of course! Would you expect anything else?!
Lex Robinson: He's back and with a mission. As for Jay, she definitely wants redemption and winning this match will certainly give her that. On a side note, you have to wonder if the old Collective lines will be drawn here. You have to remember that Jay had ties with Declan. It was actually in this event, last year, that she left his group... all thanks to a kick to the head of her then-boss.
Steve Hebert: See? Just like all women, she's a cunniving little slut.
Lex Robinson: That's a bit sexist, don't you think.
Steve Hebert: I'll take it back if she slobbers on my mule.
Lex Robinson: Interesting.
The venue suddenly descends into total darkness, sparking the crowd into an expectant frenzy. For a long moment, the sound system is completely silent and the screen above the entrance is blank. However, above the din of the crowd, sinister circus music begins to play, crackling loudly through the speakers. The screen suddenly comes to life, an image of Morgana fading in slowly.
On either side of the entrance two pyros explode, sending columns of fire blazing toward the ceiling. The image fades out of existence and the circus music dies abruptly. The arena is thrown into silence again, save for the anticipatory rumblings of the crowd, before "Circus" by Britney Spears bursts from the sound system.
there's only two types of people in the world
the ones that entertain, and the ones that observe
well baby i'm a put-on-a-show kinda girl
don't like the back seat, gotta be first
all eyes on me in the centre of the ring
just like a circus
when i crack that whip everybody gon' trip
just like a circus
Lex Robinson: The new Television Champ is out! For someone that wrestled a clinic earlier in the night, putting her body on the line in every which way, she looks pretty good.
Steve Hebert: She may not be bleeding like Declan, but her cunt probably is.
Lex Robinson: ...Thanks for that.
Steve Hebert: And if it isn't, then Corey Ashton didn't kick it hard enough.
Lex Robinson: Speaking of him...
The venue is immediately cast into darkness. “Ready or Not” by The Fugees starts up over the sound system and Lauryn Hill’s smooth vocals send the fans into a booing frenzy. The song can mean only one thing; the impending arrival of Corey Ashton is near. The image of the Crescent Star appears, a symbolic nod to the first Ashton, flanked by four stars representing the most successful stars in the Ashton constellation.
Corey Ashton finally steps out into view, almost naked without his Television Title, not even wearing his patented robe. Strolling to the ringside area, he angrily looks at all of his fans, circles around the ringside area and finally climbs inside, taking a spot opposite of Morgana, standing next to Adam Cameron.
Lex Robinson: The only friend and ally he has in this match is Adam Cameron. Quite frankly, I don't know how that'll work out. Granted, "The Creep" will be in this match, too... but it is every man and woman for themselves.
Steve Hebert: Yeah, "The Creep" is nothing but a traitorous bastard. Where was he when Corey needed him?! Huh?! Corey Ashton is the S.O.S. Screw "The Creep".
Lex Robinson: Those are some harsh choice of words.
Steve Hebert: I mean it, too. What happened here tonight, in Corey's match with Morgana, was just plain ridiculous.
Lex Robinson: We'll see how they function, at least. There'll be three members of the S.O.S. in the ring, so they should have a decent shot of doing... something.
Steve Hebert: It's only a victory if Corey Ashton comes out on top. Then, he can finally challenge -- and take that title away from -- "The Creep".
Lex Robinson: He has to win first.
Steve Hebert: Obviously.
The intro section of "Something in Your Mouth" by Nickelback begins to play, as the audience attention is drawn to the stage entrance with spotlights and low streaming gouts of sparkling pyrotechnics. On the SW-tron the letter R flickers smoothly on the black screen, directly above the letter E.
Heavier guitars come in hard as the main riff of the song starts, as the pyro erupts high into the air, while on the big screen eruptions flare out as well, finishing the original initials with "Roxy Erikson" as the crowd goes wild! Appearing at the entrance and stalked with multiple spotlights is Sin Wrestling's favorite party animal!
They say it's over budget but you pay her just to touch it
Come on!
Roxy Erikson dances her way to the edge of the entrance ramp, popping the corks on the bottle of champagne she has in each hand. She pours them over her body, which is barely clothed as in, in quite the trashiest of attire. She's wearing a barely-there bikini top, with a gaudily silver strip of fabric that may pass in extremely loose circles as a mini-skirt. Her shoes...well, her shoes are six inch glass heels, within which are live goldfish.
If Hollywood had called her she'd be gone before you holler
Come on!
As to further raise the bar, she dances her champagne-soaked way down to the ring, grinding her largely bare ass against the guardrail, fans extended arms, and even fans' faces on her way down. Several excited looking young teenagers have their faces slapped heartily with her tits, before she slides triumphantly into the ring, whereupon she produces, cuts, and snorts a fresh line of coke! She strikes a stripper pose in the center of the ring as the remainder of the pyro goes off around the stage and entrance, and her music fades away.
Lex Robinson: Roxy's out--...
Steve Hebert: Lock her up. After losing the Ultraviolence Title to that useless turd, Crux, there's no way she's in a good mood.
Lex Robinson: Well, she just danced and drank her way to the ring!
Steve Hebert: Yeah, but look how hard she's staring at Crux. She wants that title back. Plus, she's goddamn insane and probably fucks her own father.
Lex Robinson: Err... well...
Steve Hebert: C'mon... say it. Agree with me.
The sound of a car engine starting revs onto the speakers and roars from acceleration, transitioning into the opening of Rev Theory's "Kill the Headlights". The reverb from the guitar coincides with a glow from the SinTron that slowly intensifies and spells out "CREEP" in headlights.
The crowd is on its feet as Chris Carson come out onto the entrance stage, ready to fight. With the World Title around his waist, Carson throws up his right hand, index finger and pinky extended at to the side like a "C". The headlights behind him throb to the music as Carson walks to the ring, slapping hands with the fans.
Just kill the headlights
Kill the headlights
I want you to see all that's inside
You'll get where you want
Take your hands off the wheel
You've got all you need on the inside
Just kill the headlights
Turn the radio up
Carson climbs into the ring and removes his belt, mounting the turnbuckles and lifting his title with a roar. He flashes the horns once again to the crowd, then retreats to other corner, removing his T-shirt and setting it on the top turnbuckle. Looking at his fellow competitors, who stare back, wanting to tear him to pieces, he finds a place in the center of the ring, where he is the attention of everyone else.
Lex Robinson: You gotta think "The Creep" will be number one on everyone's hitlist.
Steve Hebert: Of course. Whoever wins this match, could even cash in and challenge him to a World Title match at Vanity. That's if he's still the champ when the time comes around. Just covering my bases here.
Lex Robinson: Do you know something I don't.
Steve Hebert: I'm just sayin'!
The lights go out as "Scream" by Avenged Sevenfold begins playing. On the SW-Tron, an image is seen and heard faintly, showing just the legs of a man walking down a hallway, apparently dragging a steel chair along, which is covered in patches of dried blood.
Woke animal feelings in me
Took over my sense and I lost control
I'll taste your blood tonight
Casanova steps out onto the stage, glowering over the audience, looking like hell. Just like Declan, he is covered in his own blood -- some of which may not even be his own. Looking intently inside the ring, he runs down and slides inside. Things immediately get underway.
Lex Robinson: Casanova has arrived, despite the beating Declan gave him!
Steve Hebert: And he has brought chaos with him! Arms and legs go flying everywhere! This match is on!
Lex Robinson: Remember, you have to go up-and-over the top rope and land on the floor in order to be eliminated. Pinfalls and submissions are also allowed.
Steve Hebert: Right now, though, everyone's looking to toss each other over the top rope. To no surprise, Casanova goes right after Declan, and they exchange boisterous punches, going back and forth! Jay goes after Crux, who cowers in the corner, trying to stay out of danger, but Roxy comes up behind her and tries to toss her to the floor! This is nuts!
Lex Robinson: There's bodies everywhere!
In another side of the ring, the three members of the S.O.S. stand in the corner, looking at everyone else go nuts. Corey Ashton, Chris Carson and Adam Cameron view Jimmy Luciano go after Morgana, hammering her with fists, while grabbing onto her hair. Tossing her into the corner, he nails her with some elbows, all while Corey Ashton happily watches.
Lex Robinson: "The Creep" is about to go in and attack Luciano, but he's held back by Corey Ashton.
Steve Hebert: Who can blame him? Let Jimmy Luciano beat the pink out of that bimbo.
Lex Robinson: Out of nowhere, Stevie Swing comes charging in, jumping on Luciano's back. She begins clawing and scratching at his eyes, with Corey Ashton finally taking offense to this. Moving in, Corey yanks onto Stevie Swing and pushes her off Luciano... who then pops Corey Ashton in the jaw! So much for that!
Steve Hebert: And that's when Adam Cameron jumps Jimmy! However, Luciano replies by kicking him in the gut and then heaving him in the corner, landing in front of Morgana.
Lex Robinson: In the meantime, Casanova and Declan battle in the corner, clawing at each other, still trying to rip each other apart. Soon enough, though, Roxy moves in, nailing Declan from behind with a quick knee. Staggering him forward, she grabs onto his ears... and tries to rip them from his head!
Steve Hebert: That bitch! He needs those!
Lex Robinson: He replies... by throwing Roxy over the top rope with a violent hip toss! But she lands on the apron and rolls back inside... only to go right back after him!
Steve Hebert: Let's face it. The whore is nuts.
Lex Robinson: Jay views this, turns her back and then sees Stevie Swing. Jumping into the air, she spins and sends a flying kick to Stevie's face...!
Steve Hebert: Stevie ducks! The kick smashes right into Crux's face! That poor reject!
Lex Robinson: Thanks to Stevie, Crux is on the receiving end of that blow, which sends him sprawling to the middle rope. Taking no shame, Jay is quick to jump on him, digging her heels into his neck, trying to choke him out. She even stands on his back, using the top rope as leverage, not noticing Chris Carson "creep" up behind her.
Steve Hebert: No pun intended?
Lex Robinson: Oh, it was intended.
"The Creep" pushes on Jay's rear end, trying to throw her over the top rope. However, she's able to wrap both legs around the top rope and hang on like some sort of monkey.
Lex Robinson: Jay's using her legs to dangle from the top rope!
Steve Hebert: ...and Stevie Swing then comes up behind "The Creep" and dropkicks him, almost sending him over the ropes! My God, wouldn't it be hilarious if he was the first person eliminated?!
Lex Robinson: He's able to hold himself in the ring, though.
Woth blood spilling from his pores, Casanova leans in the corner, watching things unfold. Seeing Declan hit a fisherman's buster on Roxy Erikson, he soon pounces out, tackling Declan to the ground, where he begins nailing him with fists and forearms!
Lex Robinson: Casanova and Declan are at it again!
Steve Hebert: You can't pull these two away from each other. Goddamn.
While Casanova and Declan brawl, a dizzy Crux moves in, picks up Roxy Erikson and tries to throw her over the top rope. As she's hoisted into the air, into an elimination position, she claws at Crux's eyes beneath his mask, enabling her to escape his clutches.
Steve Hebert: Crux fails in his bid to throw out Roxy. Surprise, surprise.
Lex Robinson: Chris Extreme is telling him he should have put more testicles into it.
Steve Hebert: I agree. You gotta have more testicles. Always.
Lex Robinson: Quite the observation. Having nearly been dropkicked out of the ring, Chris Carson turns around, viewing Stevie Swing, who tries to hide behind Morgana, who happens to stumble in front of her. With a shove, she pushes Morgana into "The Creep", who shrugs his shoulders and throws a fist at Morgy.
Steve Hebert: Ack! She ducks! Furthermore, she runs forward, jumps onto the middle rope and soars back... only to receive a vicious lariat from "The Creep"!
Lex Robinson: She should be careful. If someone had come up from behind, they could have easily flung her out.
Steve Hebert: One of those guys could have been Jimmy Luciano, who seems quite eager to go after Morgy, too. However, right now, he's kinda busy with Corey Ashton and Adam Cameron, fending them both off with chops, punches and knees. What he really needs to do is to pick up that pink-haired whore and give her a toss to the floor.
Eventually, Corey Ashton and Adam Cameron is too much for Jimmy Luciano to handle, as they knock him into the corner, pounding him with kicks. Luckily for Luciano, Jay soon steps up, spins Corey Ashton around and levels him in the gut with a quick, snapping kick.
Lex Robinson: What a kick from Jay to Corey! She seconds that with a jumping spin-kick!
Steve Hebert: And it sends Corey Ashton reeling into the ropes, nearly sending him overboard! Goddamn, that would have been awful.
Lex Robinson: Luckily for him -- and for you, he stays afloat.
On the adjacent side of the ring, Casanova and Declan continue to wail away on each other, with Declan gaining the upperhand, slicing open a flesh wound on Casanova's arm.
Lex Robinson: Blood is pouring out of Casanova's arm now. Declan picks him up on his shoulders, in a fireman's carry position and is now trying to throw him over the top rope...
Steve Hebert: Wait, here comes Crux...
Lex Robinson: Crux, with management from Chris Extreme, comes strolling over... and he lowblows Declan, saving Casanova!
Steve Hebert: What the Jesus?
Lex Robinson: At least Chris Extreme looks proud. Declan, on the other hand, has fallen to his knees, holding his crotch.
Stealing an idea from Declan, Crux ducks in and tries lifting Casanova up onto his shoulders. However, Casanova simply replies by using his bloody arm by repeatedly smash Crux in the face.
Steve Hebert: That didn't work out so well. I doubt he learned that one from Chris Extreme. If Chris was in there, he'd have everyone's balls ripped out and have them eaten.
Lex Robinson: ...Eaten?
Steve Hebert: Don't question me.
Bloody residue from Casanova's arm remains on Crux's mask, as he slumps to the ground, holding his face. Just across from him, Jimmy Luciano fights off an attack from Stevie Swing, by catching her foot and flipping her back. Unfortunately for him, she makes a complete 360 degree rotation in the air and lands on her feet.
Lex Robinson: Just like that, Stevie Swing nails Jimmy Luciano with an enziguiri!
Steve Hebert: Both Corey Ashton and Adam Cameron take advantage of that, too. Right away, they begin to crowd over Luciano, pounding away on him, while Stevie gets up and turns to face "The Creep", still angry with her loss. She was literally screwed out of the World Title earlier in the night and she's not going to let up. Blocking a punch from "The Creep", she knees him in the groin... and then inside-cradles him!
Lex Robinson: Pinfalls are legal in this match, remember?!
Steve Hebert: She's going to do it...
The referee makes a count...
...1...2...
Lex Robinson: "The Creep" kicks out!
Steve Hebert: Ugh. He was caught off-guard with that, too.
While Stevie Swing is on her knees, lamenting about her lack of a victory, Jimmy Luciano fights off both Adam Cameron and Corey Ashton, nailing them both with double-axehandles. As Corey makes a swing at him, Luciano side-steps the attack and side-triangle locks him.
Lex Robinson: Corey Ashton is caught by Jimmy Luciano. who then grabs onto Adam Cameron! He delivers a combination of a Russian legsweep to Cameron, while bringing Corey Ashton down with a reverse Russian legsweep!
Steve Hebert: Well shit, talk about killin two birds with one stone.
Lex Robinson: Getting right back up, he blows snot on both men, turns around... and views Morgana. From behind, he uses both hands to grab her by the head and swing her around!
Steve Hebert: He flung her halfway across the ring... just by throwing her with her head! No amount of high-flying can stop that.
Lex Robinson: Moving in after her, he gives her a stomp to the skull, lifts her up and then throttles her throat. Seconds later, he lifts her up, looking for a chokeslam... but she contorts her body, enabling her to bodyscissors him!
Steve Hebert: She goes right into a rollup, too! Oh God...
The referee counts...
...1...2...
Steve Hebert: Corey Ashton, of all people, saves Jimmy Luciano by kicking Morgana in the face! That'll get things done.
Lifting Morgana up, Corey Ashton strikes with some harsh chops, seconding them with elbows. Hoping to gain revenge from earlier, he grabs her and tries to dump her to the outside, but she also gains some odd help -- from Jay.
Lex Robinson: Corey's about to throw Morgana out... but Jay comes up behind him, uses the adjacent, middle rope to throw herself into the air and roundhouse kicks him in the back of his skull!
Steve Hebert: Jesus, will she stop that?!
For Jimmy Luciano, things are looking dire. Slowly, he gets up, in confusion after having his chokeslam reversed. What he doesn't realize is that Adam Cameron is looking straight at him, looking to put him away.
Lex Robinson: Declan with a brutal elbow to Roxy, knocking her into the corner-- and, hey...
Steve Hebert: Oh shit, Adam Cameron charges at Jimmy Luciano...
Lex Robinson: The Decline...!
Steve Hebert: ...The boot!
Stopping Adam Cameron's "The Decline" with a simple boot to the skull, Jimmy Luciano halts him in his tracks, dropping him to his knees. With his teeth gritting, Luciano standing-headscissors him, and then pulls him up into a crucifix-powerbomb position.
Steve Hebert: Uh oh...
Lex Robinson: Luciano has Adam Cameron high in the air. Turning around, Corey views this, but is unable to stop him. Even "The Creep" can't do anything...
Seconds later, Adam Cameron is flung from inside of the ring to the outside. As a matter of fact, he is flung into the front row, sending fans tumbling everywhere.
Steve Hebert: Jimmy Luciano has just taken out the front row!
Lex Robinson: And Adam Cameron!
Steve Hebert: Boy, Corey Ashton is pissed. "The Creep" didn't even offer any help!
Lex Robinson: But how could--... actually, I'm not even going to bother.
Steve Hebert: It's for the best.
With his back turned, Jimmy Luciano is immediately attacked by Corey Ashton, who tries to dump him to the floor, but to no avail. Instead, Jimmy gouges at Corey's eyes, blinding him, and knocks him back with a stiff forearm.
Lex Robinson: Corey's attempts at revenge are futile... as usual.
Steve Hebert: Don't say that!
Lex Robinson: It went about as well as his undefeated streak in Ashton Endurance Matches.
Steve Hebert: What did I just say?!
Blindly stumbling back, Corey accidentally bumps into Chris Carson. Perhaps thinking it's Jimmy Luciano, he nails "The Creep" with a punch, which knocks the World Champ back.
Lex Robinson: He just hit his own partner!
Steve Hebert: It was an accident!
Lex Robinson: Yeah, right. I doubt that.
Steve Hebert: Oh, c'mon. Luciano stuck his thumbs in his eyes. How was he supposed to know the difference?
Lex Robinson: Carson is now being attacked vigorously by Roxy Erikson, who even chokes him across the top rope... and it's all his partner's fault.
Steve Hebert: No way! Not at all! You're delirious! You are just insane.
Lex Robinson: Fortunately for "The Creep", he has Crux scrawl behind Roxy... and then dig his fingers into her... uh... vagina!
Steve Hebert: Another Chris Extreme taught move! Fuck yeah!
Lex Robinson: This just proves Crux is a braver man than you and I.
Steve Hebert: I'm not sure if this even phases Roxy. Hell, I don't think she even realizes it. Crux could pit his entire fist in there and she'd be oblivious to it.
It isn't until Jay walks over and spin-kicks her into the head that Roxy stops choking Carson. Seeing this, Crux rolls into the corner, trying to avoid any contact.
Lex Robinson: And Crux goes back to cowering in the corner. Not the bravest of moves... but maybe the smartest.
Unfortunately for Crux, he remains in prime position for Casanova, who had been laying opposite of him, in the other corner. Standing up, Casanova charges forward... and boots Crux in the facial area, nearly knocking his mask off!
Lex Robinson: There goes that idea for Crux! Casanova boots his face off!
On the floor, Chris Extreme looks horrified, as Crux lays across the middle rope, nearly having his face scraped off. Casanova, on the other hand, grabs "The Creep", who is trying to adjust himself from the previous chokehold.
Lex Robinson: After kicking Crux in the face, Casanova grabs "The Creep", kicks him in the gut and looks to be going for the double-underarm spike-piledriver! If he hits it and then covers him, he could go for the pin...!
However, Casanova is unaware of Stevie Swing, who has stepped to the outer portion of the apron, behind him. When the time is right, Stevie springboards off the top rope and flies through the air.
Lex Robinson: Stevie Swing with a flying dropkick to the back of Casanova! This is ample enough to push Casanova over "The Creep", who backdrops him over the top rope and on to the flo--... no!
Steve Hebert: No! Casanova lands on the apron, with one foot landing on the floor! He uses his bloody arm to hold himself up, but Declan notices this and promptly goes for the attack!
Lex Robinson: Casanova climbs back onto the apron, with Declan smacking at him, trying to knock him off!
Steve Hebert: Just bite his hand off or something! Jesus!
Declan and Casanova continue to exchange blows. This time, Casanova comes out on top, after chopping Declan in the throat with his hands. Soon, he looks over his shoulder and holds Declan's left arm over his shoulder, looking for a suplex to the floor.
Lex Robinson: Casanova is going to suplex Declan to the outside!
Steve Hebert: Oh shit!
Lex Robinson: Here he goes...
Steve Hebert: No! Whilst in the air, Declan knees Casanova in the face and safely lands next to him! They're both close to being eliminated!
Lex Robinson: Imagine that! They chop, slap and swat at each other, trying to knock the other off. If only someone in the ring would realize this...
Steve Hebert: You have your wish. Stevie Swing has realize this, of course. She was the one that connected with the dropkick to Casanova's back; she may be the one that takes both him and Declan out!
Stevie Swing steps up to both men, challenging both. Despite her attempts at trying to knock them down, they actually team up and fire rapid shots at her, eventually forcing her to spring back, having guillotined her across the top rope!
Steve Hebert: Oh Jesus, Stevie!
Lex Robinson: Stevie doesn't believe in Jesus. Quite frankly, he'd do her no good right now, anyhow. Casanova and Declan, meanwhile... go back to brawling on the side of the apron!
Steve Hebert: This is going to result in someone getting dumped to the floor -- and I'm not going to like it!
Lex Robinson: For the time being, Casanova clotheslines Declan back in to the ring. Go figure.
Steve Hebert: But he heads to the top rope! This could be trouble! Thankfully for him, no one realizes this. He dives off, catapulting himself through the air, hitting Declan with a swandive lariat!
Morgana, Chris Carson and Jimmy Luciano remain in one corner, with "The Creep" being standing. Luciano continues to assault Morgana, keeping "The Creep" in the corner of his eye.
Lex Robinson: Luciano goes to dump Morgana to the floor... but he stops.
Steve Hebert: He's turning his attention to Chris Carson, that's why! The World Champion is reeling on the ropes, so he decides to do something about it.
Lex Robinson: Jimmy gutwrenches "The Creep" and pulls him up into a powerbomb position... bam! Down he goes! He just gutwrench-powerbombed the World Champ!
Laying atop Chris Carson, Jimmy Luciano pulls back, hooking a leg.
Steve Hebert: Holy crap, we might have a new World Champ right here!
The count is made...
...1...2...
Steve Hebert: Ugh! No!
Lex Robinson: Corey Ashton, still holding his eyes, comes bounding in, snapping a kick to the head of Jimmy Luciano! It's so nice to see he's selectively blind.
Steve Hebert: Huh?
Lex Robinson: If you don't understand now, you never will.
While Roxy Erikson and Jay tangle in the corner, taking turns to kick, chop and bite each other, Corey Ashton picks up Jimmy Luciano and hammers him across the neck.
Steve Hebert: At least Corey Ashton believes in the S.O.S., unlike someone we know... a certain World Champ. A certain World Champ that didn't even flinch when Adam Cameron was eliminated by the very man Corey Ashton is going after right now.
Lex Robinson: Don't speak so soon.
"The Creep" is up to his feet and he's aiding Corey Ashton in attacking Luciano. They trap him against the ropes, peppering him with some fists. Stepping back, they interlock arms, about to double-clothesline him over the top rope.
Lex Robinson: Maybe things aren't so tense between them, after all...
They charge forward, about to double-clothesline Jimmy Luciano to the floor.
Steve Hebert: He ducks and races out. Turning around, he goes to clothesline them out of the ring!
Lex Robinson: And now they duck! As a team, they double-backdrop him to the floor, eliminating him! The S.O.S. have just eliminated Jimmy Luciano... before he could even lay another finger on Morgana, too!
Steve Hebert: Ughhh... he had his chance to take her out, but he opted to try for the World Title.
Lex Robinson: He'll fight another day, I'm sure.
Getting to his feet, Jimmy Luciano slaps his hands off the ring apron and then walks to the back, disappointed about being eliminated and not being able to beat up Morgana.
Steve Hebert: Look at that... "The Creep" and Corey Ashton have a celebratory high-five. Watch your back, Corey, you can't trust him.
Lex Robinson: [sigh] Right.
Just then, Roxy Erikson comes up from behind and pushes Chris Carson into Corey Ashton, knocking him back, forcing him to collide with an angsty Casanova. Right off the bat, Casanova swings at Corey, but the shot is ducked. In reply, Corey atomic drops Casanova and then throws him over the top rope, hoping to evade any more attacks.
Lex Robinson: Corey throws Casanova over the top rope...! But Casanova lands on the apron! That's twice now that Casanova has nearly been tossed out.
Steve Hebert: All because of Chris Carson pushing Corey!
Lex Robinson: Oh God, shut up. Speaking of which, Roxy just hit a bulldog on "The Creep"! She's going for a cover!
Steve Hebert: Well Jesus, so is everyone.
The referee counts...
...1...2...
Lex Robinson: No! Corey Ashton comes in and pulls her off!
Concurrently, Casanova slides back inside, only to receive a stomp from Jay, who then pushes herself into the air, coming down with a double-stomp to his face.
Steve Hebert: Casanova just got his face pancaked by Jay... and whoa, wait!
After pulling Roxy off Chris Carson, Corey drops down and makes the cover, instead.
Lex Robinson: That rat, Corey Ashton, is making the cover... on his own partner!
Steve Hebert: "The Creep" had it coming!
...1...
Lex Robinson: One...!
...2...
Lex Robinson: Two...!
...
Lex Robinson: ...No!
Steve Hebert: Whatthefu--ahhhckkkk...
Lex Robinson: Morgana stops the count with a standing Shooting Star Press!
Steve Hebert: Can't he just kill her? Perhaps borrow Declan's gun and put 50 bullets in her skull?! Corey was about to make history!
In the meantime, after the fall is broken up, Chris Extreme whispers into Crux's ear, from outside of the ring. Pointing towards "The Creep", Chris seems to instruct him.
Lex Robinson: Chris Extreme is telling Crux what to do...
Everyone battles around the ringside: Declan corners Roxy, after powerbombing her into the corner. Morgana and Corey Ashtoll roll around on the ground, striking each other. Casanova is being shown the art of a ninja by Jay, who connects with multiple kicks to the skull and body. Stevie Swing is creeping up on Jay, giving her a surprise neckbreaker, as she stomps on Casanova
Lex Robinson: Gliding across the canvas, on his hands and knees and under the guidance of Chris Extreme, Crux rolls up "The Creep"!
Steve Hebert: What the...?
The referee counts...
...1...2...
Lex Robinson: Crux, of all people, is going to be the new World Champion!
...
Steve Hebert: "The Creep" kicks out!
Lex Robinson: Just as Stevie Swing comes from out of nowhere and stomps on his masked skull!
Steve Hebert: That poor bastard doesn't have a clue what he's gotten himself in to.
Back in the corner, Casanova stands himself up, seeing Jay laid out before him. Hoisting her up, he throws her into the ropes. Upon her rebound, he catches her and hotshots her across the top rope, almost slicing off her skull, as her neck snaps off the rope!
Lex Robinson: For a second there, I thought Casanova was going to dump Jay to the floor...
Steve Hebert: Nope. He just nearly decapitated her across the top rope.
Lex Robinson: Sheesh. Roxy Erikson doesn't even let her recouperate, either. Within seconds, Roxy scoops Jay up and commences scratching and clawing at her face.
Steve Hebert: Typical women. They should be in the kitchen, baking me a cake.
Lex Robinson: As Roxy's nails cut into Jay's face, Jay shakes and writhes her arms, elbows smacking into Roxy, getting herself released. Taking a step back, she launches herself at Roxy, going for a 720 degree Roundhouse Kick!
Steve Hebert: Roxy ducks beneath that, though!
Lex Robinson: Jay lands on her feet... and quickly sweeps Roxy off her legs, too! As she lands, Stevie Swing runs to the nearest set of ropes and goes for a springboard moonsault...!
Steve Hebert: She hits it, landing on Roxy Erikson!
Lex Robinson: And now Morgana is doing the same...
Jumping onto the middle rope, Morgana goes to moonsault back, but Stevie pops up and charges in at her. Leaping into the air, Stevie dropkicks Morgy, sending her sailing over the top rope!
Lex Robinson: Wahhh...! Morgana skins the cat and stays alive... but she's hanging... no, dangling, upside-down!
Steve Hebert: Stevie Swing, who dropkicked her over the top rope, will fix this.
Moving in, Stevie goes to push Morgana to the floor, but Morgy uses her legs to reach up and wrap around Stevie's head. Using all of her strength, Morgana vaults upward, slings herself back into the ring and then tilt-a-whirl headscissors Stevie Swing, sending her spiralling into the corner!
Lex Robinson: I think Morgy took pity. She could have used her to legs to pull Stevie overboard, but she didn't!
Steve Hebert: Who even knows. This is nuts. Arms, legs, feet, bodies... everything is flying everywhere. We have had Adam Cameron fly through the air.
Seeing Roxy laying on the canvas, holding her gut, Crux quickly crawls over and makes another cover.
Lex Robinson: Look--...! Crux makes another sneaky cover!
Steve Hebert: That's Chris Extreme's directions, I'm tellin' ya!
The pinfall is made...
...1...2...
Lex Robinson: Roxy kicks out with ease!
Steve Hebert: I would hope so.
Crux looks dismayed at his lack of a pinfall. During this process, Declan lifts him up by his mask and calmly heaves him over the top rope.
Lex Robinson: ....Declan Turner comes from nowhere, lifts Crux up and throws him to the floor! Over the top rope!
Steve Hebert: But he's caught by Chris Extreme! Is that even legal?!
Lex Robinson: I... I... I guess so.
Steve Hebert: Chris Extreme rolls Crux back in... even though I don't think that's legal. Someone call the cops. For one, Chris Extreme is supposed to be dead. Two, his jaw is hideous. Three, he just caught Crux and rolled him back in!
Lex Robinson: Hey, it's legal. Deal with it, as you'd say.
Steve Hebert: I really am just a hypocrite, aren't I?
Thanks to Chris Extreme, Crux remains in the match, despite Declan heaving him over the ropes. Getting rolled back in by his new trainer, Crux pops up, runs up behind Declan and then traps both of his arms!
Lex Robinson: With Declan's arms trapped, Crux unloads with a flurry of headbutts to the back of Declan Turner's skull! He didn't see that coming!
Steve Hebert: ...and Roxy isn't going to see this coming, either. Jay is setting her up against the ropes...
Across the ring, Jay, with gusto, springs towards Roxy, hoping to knock her head off with another Roundhouse Kick. Unfortunately, Roxy ducks.
Lex Robinson: Jay misses! Her right leg gets tangled in the top rope! Roxy, wild with rage, pushes her over the top rope and to the floor! She has just eliminated Jay!
On the floor, Jay goes wild, trying to get back into the ring. However, it takes several referees to hold her back, including an overjoyed Chris Extreme, to keep her from getting back inside. As she goes to the back, she yells some words of discouragements at Roxy, who simply replies by sticking her tongue out at her.
Steve Hebert: How un-classy. What a vulgar, vile bitch. I bet she's looser than a turkey.
Lex Robinson: Jay or Roxy?
Steve Hebert: Both of them.
Roxy's taunting doesn't last long, though. Corey Ashton creeps up behind her, passing by Crux, who is now atop Declan, pulling back on his arm, trying to make him tap. Twirling Roxy behind, he goes to punch her, but she ducks...
Lex Robinson: Whoa! That punch just barely missed Roxy! However, "The Creep" is up... and he settles things by knocking her on her ass with a bionic-elbow! "The Creep" is sticking up for Corey Ashton, not even knowing that Corey tried to pin him! Once he finds that out, "The Crescent Star" is going to be "The Crescent Dead".
Steve Hebert: No worries. Carson will never know.
With blood covering his body, Casanova goes up behind "The Creep", stopping him from hoisting up Roxy Erikson. He kicks Carson back, but Corey chases after him, giving him a high-knee to the back.
Lex Robinson: Casanova interjects himself, trying to heed the S.O.S. away from Roxy, but that doesn't seem to be a smart idea.
Steve Hebert: Of course not. The guy... or vampire... or whatever is still bleeding from his previous match! He and Declan beat the mother of fuck out of each other.
Lex Robinson: Both "The Creep" and Corey double-team Casanova, knocking him against the ropes. Could this be reminiscient of the Jimmy Luciano elimination? Let's see...
Just like before, Corey and Chris join hands. In unison, they dash towards Casanova... but Corey stops, sending only "The Creep" in!
Lex Robinson: "The Creep" marches in, but Corey Ashton stops! Casanova goes to backdrop Chris Carson... but he lands on the ring apron! Like a house on fire, Casanova bursts out from the ropes and lands a flying forearm to Corey Ashton!
Steve Hebert: Well, that was an absolute disaster. Luckily, Corey Ashton didn't end up getting eliminated. Ditto with Casanova.
Lex Robinson: On the other hand, Casanova is currently striking the hell out of Corey Ashton, knocking him against the ropes. However, in comes Chris Carson, who rolls into the ring. As Crux leaves Declan behind, giving him one more kick, he runs towards "The Creep"... but gets clothesline!
Steve Hebert: Jesus, what a failure that was.
Lex Robinson: Chris Carson is concentrating on one man -- that being Casanova, who almost dumped him to the floor! Seeing him wail away on Corey Ashton, a fire grows inside of him, prompting him to run up and save the man, who earlier, tried to pin him!
Steve Hebert: Shhh!
Lex Robinson: "The Creep" latches onto Casanova's arms, holding him back, stopping him from punching Corey! Grinning like a psychopath, Corey nods lavishly. He's reaching into his pants... oh no...
Steve Hebert: Oh yes! He's going to slap Casanova with his cock!
Lex Robinson: ...Uh, no. He's got another pair of brass knuckles!
Steve Hebert: I can live with that.
Lex Robinson: Earlier, he used a pair of brass knuckles to score a pinfall over Morgana. And now, he's looking to bludgeon Casanova... who is pretty much bleeding like a pig, already.
Steve Hebert: Swine flu!
Shining his brass knuckles with one hand, Corey Ashton listens to the jeers pour in, and then charges full-speed ahead.
Lex Robinson: He pulls his arm back and he's going to strike Casanova...!
However, at the last second, Casanova pulls his arms free from Chris Carson, which would give Corey Ashton enough time to stop the punch. Unfortunately, he does not.
Lex Robinson: Casanova squirms out of the way... but Corey Ashton is still going through with the punch!
With no other choice, Chris Carson is forced to duck down, sending Corey sailing overhead with a backdrop to the floor!
Lex Robinson: Corey Ashton has just been sent to the floor by "The Creep"!
Steve Hebert: No! "The Creep" did that on purpose! Did you see that?!
Lex Robinson: No. Did Iyou see that?! Corey Ashton was clearly going to strike him -- his own partner -- with the brass knuckles!
Steve Hebert: Don't give me that shit, Lex! I don't want to hear it! This is a disgrace! How can one partner do that to the other?!
Lex Robinson: You've got things mixed up, Steve.
A second after hitting the floor, an enraged Corey Ashton jumps to his feet. He looks up at "The Creep", who can only look down at him and shrug his shoulders.
Steve Hebert: Is that all he has to say for himself?! A shrug?! A goddamn shrug?!
Lex Robinson: What was he supposed to do? Let Corey hit him with the knuckles?! There was plenty of time for him to stop -- Casanova had escaped. But this...? This is all the fault of Corey Ashton.
Steve Hebert: He loses his Television Title to that pink-haired tramp that's in the ring... and now this. What an awful night.
Like Jay before him, Corey tries re-entering the ring, but is held back by a flurry of officials. Chris Carson continues to look down at him, not moving a muscle, but Corey cannot get back inside.
Lex Robinson: Eh, call it a night, Ashton. You'll have better days. Stop this nonsense before it goes too far.
Steve Hebert: You didn't say that for Jay.
Lex Robinson: Yeah, but Corey looks like he's going to lose his shit.
Steve Hebert: Let him! Let him back in that ring and kill someone.
Lex Robinson: It's not allowed.
Steve Hebert: Oh, it's alright for Chris Extreme to catch Crux and carry him around the ring, to safety, but not this.
Lex Robinson: Err... yes.
Steve Hebert: Son of a bitch.
Grabbing onto the top rope, Corey again tries to climb inside. In the meantime, Chris continues to look down at him, not noticing that Casanova has shrugged off an attack from Stevie Swing by knocking her onto Declan. Now, Casanova is focusing solely on Chris Carson, whose back is turned.
Lex Robinson: As a matter of fact, "The Creep" needs to watch out for himself...
With his attention turned, focusing on Corey Ashton, Chris Carson cannot defend himself from Casanova, who comes from behind and clobbers him from behind with a running-kick to the skull!
Steve Hebert: Yes!
As a result, Chris Carson goes stumbling forward. Thanks to Corey pulling down the top rope, he spills out onto the floor, thereby getting eliminated!
Steve Hebert: "The Creep" is out!
Lex Robinson: Gah! Corey Ashton had the top rope pulled down!
Steve Hebert: What goes around, comes around, sucker.
Lex Robinson: Unbelievable!
On the floor, Carson and Ashton stare each other down and bump each other. After some words and said, they begin pushing each other, prompting some referees to step in between them.
Lex Robinson: Things are getting a little testy between them. Rightfully so. What Corey Ashton did is a scumbag thing.
Steve Hebert: Oh, please. First of all, the brass knuckles thing was an accident and so was pulling down the rope. Get over yourself, Lex. Stop creating drama where there is none.
Lex Robinson: With the heated words and shoves, I think things say otherwise.
Corey and "The Creep" are pulled away from each other and led to the back. "The Creep" receives his World Title, finishing the night as the champ, but not the Sin Trophy winner. As for Corey Ashton, he leaves, snickering out of sight of the camera, laughing at Carson's expense.
Lex Robinson: Only 6 people remain -- Stevie Swing, Roxy Erikson, Declan Turner, Morgana, Casanova and Crux!
Steve Hebert: I still can't believe what "The Creep" did.
Lex Robinson: Shut it.
Standing in the ring, Casanova gloats about eliminating the World Champion. Unfortunately, this also means he stumbles directly into the path of an incoming, steamrolling Declan Turner!
Lex Robinson: Declan Turner with a leaping Blood Money axe-kick!
Steve Hebert: He was laying in wait for that, too!
As Declan stands, he turns around, fired up, with blood pouring down his face.
Steve Hebert: Wait... Morgana comes from nowhere, latches onto Declan and then hits him with that Fat Morgana move!
Lex Robinson: The Fata Morgana!
Steve Hebert: Yes! That one! Onto Casanova, too!
Lex Robinson: Declan lays across Casanova, while Casanova stands...
Springing from one of the corners, Roxy bursts out.
Lex Robinson: Roxy Erikson with the Roxy Ride onto Morgana!
Steve Hebert: She falls onto the pile, as well!
Lex Robinson: They're going non-stop. Roxy goes to stand... and Crux comes lumbering into the scene, bringing her down with the "Cutter out of Nowhere!" Literally! It's what he calls it!
Steve Hebert: Pack another one onto the pile!
Lex Robinson: With energy surging through his veins, Crux rises, with Chris Extreme egging him on. Only he and Stevie remain on their feet... but Stevie levels him with "The Last Dance"!
Steve Hebert: Another one for the pile!
Lex Robinson: Crux lands at the mound of people, rolling around on top of Morgana and Roxy's breasts.
Steve Hebert: Tits. They like to be called tits, Lex.
The fire that had been lit in Crux seems to transfer to Stevie Swing, who looks at the mound of people in front of her. Pointing into the corner, Stevie stomps towards the turnbuckles and climbs to the top.
Steve Hebert: She better be careful. You don't want to do something stupid -- like eliminate your own partner.
Lex Robinson: What?
Steve Hebert: There she goes...!
The fans hold their breath, as Stevie soars through the air, doing a Shooting Star Frog Splash onto the mound of people below her!
Steve Hebert: She flattens everywhere! Holy shit!
Lex Robinson: This could be it! She just landed on everyone inside of the ring!
Steve Hebert: With some sort of flipping, flopping thing, too. And I'm not talking about one of her sex toys.
Lex Robinson: From the pile of people, she pulls out Crux and covers him!
Steve Hebert: No amount of training from Chris Extreme can help him here.
The referee drops down, making the count...
Lex Robinson: If she gets this, she could be the new Ultraviolence Champ!
...1...2...
Lex Robinson: One... two...
...
Lex Robinson: Crux kicks out, much to the joy of Chris Extreme!
Steve Hebert: Fuck it. She didn't want the Ultraviolence Title, anyhow.
Lex Robinson: Eh... well then. She pulls Morgana out from the pile, covering her. She could be the new Television Champ!
The referee counts...
...1...2...
Lex Robinson: One... two...
...
Lex Robinson: No! Morgana kicks out, too!
Steve Hebert: Fuck it. She doesn't want the Television Title, either.
Annoyed, Stevie pulls out Roxy Erikson and covers.
Lex Robinson: Stevie covers Roxy, now...
Again, the ref counts...
...1...2...
Lex Robinson: One... two... Roxy kicks out!
Steve Hebert: What the Jesus?! Stevie is pisseD!
Lex Robinson: The more they kick out, the madder she gets.
Steve Hebert: She's covering Declan, now. Maybe this will work. I mean, he's almost bleeding to death from his earlier match.
Shrugging his shoulders, the referee counts this, as well.
...1...2...
Lex Robinson: And again, no! Stevie is furiously slapping her hands off the canvas!
Steve Hebert: Wouldn't you?!
Lex Robinson: In a last ditch effort, she covers Casanova...
Once more, the referee counts...
...1...2...
Lex Robinson: One... and two... and...
Steve Hebert: Son of a bitch.
Lex Robinson: I don't have to tell you what just happened.
Steve Hebert: Probably because everyone just watched it on their screen.
Furious, Stevie Swing climbs to her feet, wanting to kick someone's face off. It happens.
Steve Hebert: Bam! She nails Crux with another Last Dance!
Lex Robinson: Down he goes!
Steve Hebert: She shrugs and kicks Morgana with The Last Dance, too! About goddamn time. I missed seeing that happening!
Lex Robinson: Morgana's head snapped back! She's out!
Turning around, Stevie views Declan. Again, she shrugs.
Steve Hebert: Bam! The Last Dance to Declan Turner's face, too! Down he goes!
Lex Robinson: Stevie's going nuts!
Steve Hebert: You think?!
Lex Robinson: Uh oh, Roxy...
Wasting no time in rising, Stevie snaps a Last Dance into the face of Roxy Erikson, as well!
Steve Hebert: Down goes the boozehound! I think that may have sobered her up.
Lex Robinson: All that remains is Casanova!
Casanova, the last man she attempted pinfall on, is also the last man she goes to strike. She charges...
Steve Hebert: Ba-- wait!
Lex Robinson: He catches her foot with both hands! He spins her around... Destiny Calling!
Steve Hebert: Destiny Calling, mothertrucker!
Lex Robinson: After all of that, it's Stevie who ends up on her back! The only person that remains standing is Casanova, who yanks Stevie Swing up to her feet.
Steve Hebert: Should have grabbed her by her Jew nose.
Wide eyed and out of control, Casanova drags Stevie towards the ropes. He hoists her upside-down, almost dumping her to the floor, getting a loud cheer from the fans that want to see her taken out.
Steve Hebert: Hang on, Stevie, for the love of Herschel.
Lex Robinson: Barely conscious, her only instincts tell her to hold onto the bottom and middle rope, with all of her might.
Steve Hebert: Ugh... he almost has her out. This is something awful.
Trying to stave off elimination, Stevie uses both hands to lock onto the middle rope, not wanting to be dumped to the floor.
Lex Robinson: She's so close to being out... listen to these fans. If she fell now, they'd explode in joy.
Steve Hebert: Those little bastards.
As Casanova is in the process of trying to throw Stevie out, Crux crawls up to him, latching onto his feet.
Steve Hebert: What the heck is Crux trying to do?
Lex Robinson: He's scratching at him, like a cat. Like a tiny, masked kitten.
Steve Hebert: What a pussy. Give him a kick, Casanova.
Lex Robinson: He does. But Crux returns to trying to dump him out!
Steve Hebert: What the--...?! What trickery is this?!
Lex Robinson: Casanova has no other choice but to shove Stevie aside, letting her topple onto the side of the apron. Like a wounded rat, she scurries back into the ring, while Crux is then heaved over the top rope!
Steve Hebert: It's what he gets for disturbing Casanova.
Lex Robinson: Crux dangles dangerously upside-down, while Chris Extreme runs over, trying to hold him in! This is not good for Crux, who now falls onto the ring apron, having been beaten down by Casanova, who gives him some kicks.
Behind this action, Declan rises, stumbling up behind Casanova. Right away, he grabs onto both of his nemesis's arms, trying to Tiger Suplex him.
Lex Robinson: Catching Casanova by surprise, Declan grabs onto both of his arms, trying to suplex him! Fortunately for Crux, this means Casanova abandons him, letting him stand to his feet on the apron. However, Casanova reverses the hold applied, goes around Declan, sniffing some of his blood on him. They struggle for a bit, with Declan trying to free himself from Casanova's waistlock...
Steve Hebert: Not wanting to fall into a pit of danger, Declan strikes with some rapid-elbows to Casanova's skull, wanting to put him away for good.
When there's nothing else he can do, Casanova gives Declan a great push forward. This vaults him directly towards Crux, who had just risen on the apron.
Lex Robinson: Casanova pushes Declan into Crux, who falls off the apron and-- no!
Steve Hebert: Chris Extreme was there! Crux lands safely on Chris' shoulders!
Lex Robinson: Well, that was dumb luck.
With Crux on his shoulders, Chris Extreme gallavants around the corner of the ring and casually places Crux back on the apron. Giving a thumbs up, Crux begins climbing to the top turnbuckle, while Casanova and Declan go forearm-for-forearm in the opposite corner!
Lex Robinson: Not only does Chris Extreme keep Crux in the match, but he also aides him in getting back on the apron. He's even going up top!
Launching himself off the top turnbuckle, Crux soars through the air, landing a diving headbutt onto Morgana!
Steve Hebert: A flying headbutt! God only knows what he has hidden in that stupid mask, too! He could have stuffed some steel or something in there. That's what I'd do, anyhow.
Lex Robinson: The new Ultraviolence Champ just landed on the new Television Champ with a diving headbutt! He makes the cover! He could be a two-time champ!
Steve Hebert: All with the help of Chris Extreme...
The referee counts...
...1...2...
Lex Robinson: Morgana gets her shoulder up!
Steve Hebert: Bah!
In the other corner, Casanova has beaten Declan Turner into submission... almost. Scraping his foot off Declan's face, Casanova backs up and then charges in...
Lex Robinson: There's a charge by Casanova...!
Steve Hebert: Declan rolls out of the way! His leg tangles in the ropes, allowing for a bloody Declan Turner to jump up. Showing great determination, he immediately goes on the attack, striking Casanova with a mixed flurry of high-kicks and backhanded fists.
Lex Robinson: He even takes Casanova's bloody face and grinds it against the turnbuckle pad. Granted it's nothing compared to the barbed-wire cell, but it's still irritating.
Using the middle rope to push himself further into the air, Declan begins kicking and pounding at the back of Casanova's skull, making sure to keep bashing it against the turnbuckle.
Steve Hebert: It's like an elevated curb-stomping!
Lex Robinson: You could say that. Turning Casanova around, he goes skull-to-skull, smashing him with a brutal headbutt. Again, both men transfer blood to each other's face.
Steve Hebert: It's almost as if they've been involved in a car wreck. No lie. This is goddamn stiff and brutal.
Blood continues to drip from Casanova's head, leaking onto the canvas, as he falls to one knee. Hovering over him, Declan repeatedly strikes with some rapid-fire knees, finishing with a double-knee shot!
Lex Robinson: Declan is just toying with Casanova, who has lost a lot of blood.
Steve Hebert: The good news is that the blood donor's clinic will be happy. As for those that clean the ring... well, they may as well burn it.
Lex Robinson: Declan has Casanova in perfect position right now. Will we see a repeat of earlier; with Declan coming out on top of Casanova?
Steve Hebert: Perhaps this time he should powerbomb him through the goddamn ring. Hell, set the right on fire while you're at it.
Lex Robinson: Sounds like a potential future match.
On his knees, Casanova tries to fight back, but it's all in vain. Declan has powered his way over him, striking him with closed-fists. Grabbing onto Casanova's hair, Declan mercilessly lifts his enemy up, slaps him across the face and splashes blood into the front row.
Steve Hebert: Those fuckers in the front row better be careful. If they get that blood on them, they'll turn into a creature of the night.
Lex Robinson: We wouldn't want that. In any event, Casanova has lost the use of his legs. He can barely rise, as Declan pulls him into a standing headscissors. He double-underlocks both arms... oh my... he's going for the Celtic Spike! This is the same move he used to put Casanova through the barbed-wire cell!
Steve Hebert: Pointing to the floor, it seems as if Declan has some devious ideas in mind. Devious inthat he's going to throw Casanova out with that powerbomb!
Lex Robinson: It sure as hell seems like it!
On her knees, off to the distance, Roxy stands up, seeing Casanova's predicament. Once she notices him lifted off the ground, she runs forward, tackling Declan, forcing him to drop Casanova!
Steve Hebert: What...? Get out of here, bitch. Declan's busy.
Lex Robinson: Roxy freakin' Erikson, for some reason, just saved Casanova, who curls up in the corner, resting himself!
Steve Hebert: That just makes Declan mad. Whirling around, he throws a high-kick at Roxy's head... but it misses its mark! Roxy is able to hold onto his foot... and then bite into his leg! The same leg she bit into at the last Eternity! Declan's gonna have to get another goddamn rabies shot! Or HIV shot, if there's one... or something!
With Roxy gnawing on his ankle, like a voracious dog, Declan holds onto the ropes, trying to keep himself stand. Sadly, for Roxy, she doesn't see him whirl around withan even more devastating kick to the brain!
Steve Hebert: That... bitch -- literally -- just got kicked to the curb! Put her down, Declan!
Flakes of Declan's flesh can be seen hanging from Roxy's mouth, thanks to her ripping in. Picking her up by her wet hair, he pulls her in and makes a throat-slash signal.
Lex Robinson: Oh no, now he double-underhooks her arms! He points at Casanova... to Roxy... and then to the floor. This is what he originally intended happen to Casanova!
Steve Hebert: Good. It'll teach her that you shouldn't interfere in other people's business.
Pulling upward, Declan hoists Roxy into the air, steps forward and then Celtic Spikes her across the outer portion of the ring apron! She lands so hard, that she bounces off the apron and smashes onto the cold, hard cement ground!
Steve Hebert: Wow! I think he tried to throw her through the ring... except the ring won!
Lex Robinson: Did you hear the sound of her back cracking against the apron?! And the thud on the floor?! Yeeowwwch!
Steve Hebert: She may have broken her back. Fucking awesome. Best of all, he forces Casanova to watch him eliminate her!
Lex Robinson: Casanova tried saving her, but he was far too drained... goddamn!
A horde of officials and referee circle around Roxy, helping her stand. Looking can only laugh at her expense, as they help her to the back.
Steve Hebert: This isn't the first time a barrage of guys have carted Roxy away.
Lex Robinson: Stop it. This is no time for jokes. This is serious time.
Steve Hebert: Fuck that.
Lex Robinson: With Roxy gone, that leaves us with 5 people.
Steve Hebert: Declan returns to one corner, while a bloody, enraged Casanova stands in the adjacent one. Opposite of Declan is that pink slut, Morgana, and across from Casanova is the Jewish princess, Stevie Swing.
Lex Robinson: Casanova may be furious with Declan, but right now, Crux stands in the middle of all these SW stars.
Steve Hebert: In other words, he may as well tuck that mask in his asshole, jump into Chris Extreme's arms and go to the back.
Lex Robinson: Considering the way he's spinning around, looking at everyone that surrounds him, he may just be contemplating that.
Steve Hebert: Good. He should do it.
On the floor, Chris Extreme is hollering at Crux, telling him to go on the attack. He does.
Lex Robinson: Crux races towards Morgana...!
Steve Hebert: She forearms that motherfucker in the face! He goes stumbling back, walking directly into the path of Declan Turner... who then wallops him with a damaging right-hook! Holy Jesus!
Lex Robinson: But he doesn't go down! He stumbles around, absolutely dazed... coincidentally walking right into Casanova.
Steve Hebert: Forearm! The Ultraviolence Champ goes stumbling back... with Stevie Swing chopping him across the chest! Ouch!
Lex Robinson: Absolutely stunned, Crux stumbles into the center of the ring. Everyone charges out from their respective corners...
With the smartest idea soaring through his head, Crux hits the dirt, dropping down onto the canvas.
Lex Robinson: Crux goes down! Casanova goes running into Stevie Swing, striking her with a running big kick to the face! In the meantime, Declan flies over Crux, nailing Morgana with an absolutely jarring spear!
Steve Hebert: She makes a complete 360 degree contortion in the air! Holy Christ!
Lex Robinson: And Stevie almost had her head lobbed off! However, when Declan and Casanova get back to their feet, their eyes meet...
Steve Hebert: ...and they romantically embrace.
Lex Robinson: God no, they go right after each other!
The hatred between Casanova and Declan boils over once again. Meeting in the center of the ring, they deliver forearm-after-forearm to each other, while standing over Crux, who crawls away from the brawling, taking this time to cower in the corner.
Lex Robinson: A forearm from Casanova sends Declan back into the ropes. Declan returns with "The Southern Cross"! It doesn't take Casanova down, though. It just makes him stumble back, cross-eyed, forcing him to bounce off the ropes and return with a big boot to Declan's face!
Steve Hebert: And now Declan bounces off the ropes... and returns with a roaring-forearm!
Lex Robinson: Casanova is off the ropes... he returns with a running headbutt to Declan! Jesus! It's like a bull running into another bull. Of course, this makes Declan bounce off the nearby rope and come storming back with a running headbutt of his own!
Steve Hebert: Did you hear that crack?! Skull-on-skull... bone-on-bone! God why?! I think I'm going to be sick.
Both combatants stagger aimlessly around, trying to grab onto one another, wanting to deliver another blow. Casanova wraps both hands around Declan's throat, trying to lift him into an elevated chokehold position; while Declan tries grounding himself, spitting some of his own blood into Casanova's face/eyes.
Lex Robinson: Declan and Casanova... the more they try to pry themselves away from each other, the more they stick together. In this case, both men are trying for... something, but just can't quite hit it.
Casanova, releasing his chokehold on Declan, steps back, but quickly realizes his mistake. Rapidly swinging around, Declan goes to strike with a high Martial Arts kick... but it's ducked!
Lex Robinson: Declan misses the spinning kick! In turn, Casanova re-applies a chokehold. He hoists him up for a chokeslam...!
In mid-air, Declan locks onto Casanova's head, driving him into the mat with a DDT!
Steve Hebert: Declan is chokeslammed... but he's also able to DDT Casanova!
Lex Robinson: Everyone is down in the ring! Crux is in the corner, hiding away from everyone, while Stevie Swing is the only person that seems to be stirring.
Stevie Swing stumbles into the center of the ring, looking at everyone else. She steps towards Morgana, who is in one of the corners, leaning against the ropes, trying to stand. Picking her up by her hair, Stevie chops her chest and then strikes with a fast elbow.
Lex Robinson: Stevie Swing is focusing totally on Morgana right now. As you all know, these two have quite the history.
Steve Hebert: Yes, we all know. No need to run us through it.
Lex Robinson: Errr... okay.
Steve Hebert: They did a lot of stuff. They fought a lot. They probably sat on each other's face. There were dumpsters involved. Declan was there. Stevie kicked people. There was a chess game. We all know the drill.
The fans begin shouting out and making a ruckus. Someone pushes their way from the crowd, steps over the ring railing and is immediately accosted by ringside security.
Steve Hebert: Oh great, some idiot fan has decided to get involved. Security, get this retard out of here.
Lex Robinson: Uh, yeah, that's always a bad idea, folks. Never do this.
Unlike a regular fan, this large person, who is wearing a mask, is able to push, punch and throw the guards away with ease.
Steve Hebert: Uhm... shouldn't security have had an easier time with that person?
Lex Robinson: You'd think so. God...
Steve Hebert: He's getting into the ring. What the heck is that dude even wearing?
Lex Robinson: ...It's the King!
Steve Hebert: ...Elvis?
Lex Robinson: No, the Burger King. What the hell?
Steve Hebert: There's a fan dressed as the freakin' Burger King in the ring. Way to screw up your job, security.
This rather large fan steps through the ropes and immediately heads towards Stevie Swing, who has Morgana down in the corner, stomping her face in. In record time, this big person grabs Stevie by the hair and drags her into the center of the ring.
Steve Hebert: Stevie is being attacked by a fan... who is also dressed as the Burger King! Jesus, Sin Wrestling has zero security. Give him a kick.
Lex Robinson: Stevie whips around, absolutely stunned... and confused. But the person kicks her in the gut... and then brainbusters her! What the fudge?!
Steve Hebert: Stevie Swing has just been dropped on her neck... and that guy... that... uh... that Burger King is lifting her up. With one hand, he throws Stevie over the top rope and to the floor! What the hell?!
Lex Robinson: He's removing the mask... who is it?
Steve Hebert: It's...
Lex Robinson: Holy shit...
Standing in the ring, having removed the Burger King mask, is Jean-Paul Lacklan!
Lex Robinson: That's Jean-Paul Lacklan! He just threw Stevie Swing to the floor!
Steve Hebert: I thought he left Sin Wrestling! The last time we saw him he had almost beaten the life out of Stevie! And then... he just up and left! Now he's here... and he just tossed Stevie Swing out of the ring, as if she were a ragdoll!
Jean-Paul Lacklan looks around at everyone else that remains in the ring and then casually makes his exit. Walking to the back, amongst a wave of boos, he holds the mask in his hand and then walks through the curtain, entering the backstage area.
Lex Robinson: I can't believe what we just witnessed. Does this mean Stevie Swing is out of this match?
Steve Hebert: It does. Referees are leading her to the back right now. Oh man, first the loss to "The Creep"... and now this. She's going to be one pissed Jewish woman. If Mel Gibson were here right now, she'd kick his head right off.
Lex Robinson: Or shoot him.
Steve Hebert: It's the popular thing to do nowadays, apparently.
Led by a trail of referees, Stevie Swing is guided to the back, miffed and confused about her elimination.
Steve Hebert: And then there were four!
Lex Robinson: Thanks to Jean-Paul Lacklan apparently returning... and throwing out Stevie, we're down to four people. It's Casanova, Declan, Crux and Morgana!
Steve Hebert: Declan being the only person with a last name, too.
Once again, everyone is backed up into their own corner. Declan stands opposite of Casanova; with Crux and Morgana in the other two corners. Blood still spills from Declan and Casanova, as they continue to ignore the other two, deciding to charge back at each other.
Lex Robinson: The war continues! Declan and Casanova strike again!
Steve Hebert: Jesus, they just won't stop. If either of them wins this match, one of them will end up beheading the other, in a fit of rage.
Lex Robinson: Splotches of blood pours from Declan's leg and ankle, thanks to the bite from Roxy. In the meantime, Casanova's arm remains bleeding; the same arm he uses to block a severe high from Declan's bloody leg. Taking this time to go back on the attack, Casanova hits a strong punch and then whips Declan into the ropes.
Storming off the rope opposite of Declan, Casanova comes out, hitting a spin-wheel kick! As Declan pops up, he is chased into the corner by Casanova, who continously kicks and strikes at him.
Lex Robinson: Casanova isn't letting up, either. Moving into the corner opposite of Declan, he charges out, headed straight for his nemesis...
Steve Hebert: The attempted leaping avalanche splash fails! Declan gets both feet up, smacking him in the face! Casanova drops like a whore, landing on his hands and knees!
Lex Robinson: As Casanova knees before Declan, an idea pops into Morgana's head, as she had just been laying around, watching the action unfold. Going into the corner Casanova started from, she charges out, uses Casanova as a launching pad and jumps off his back! She somersaults and cannonballs onto Declan, in the corner!
Steve Hebert: The momentum sends her sailing over the ropes, landing on the outer portion of the apron. And here comes Crux...!
Just like Morgana, Crux comes running out of the corner and uses Casanova as a springboard. Pressing both knees together, he smashes them into Declan Turner's chest!
Lex Robinson: Crux with a double-knee to Declan!
Steve Hebert: He can barely catch his breath after that!
Lex Robinson: Grabbing onto Declan's head, Crux charges forward, with both he and Declan using Casanova as a stepping stone. They go flying forward, with Crux driving Casanova down with a bulldog!
Steve Hebert: Ughhh...
Lex Robinson: He makes a cover!
The referee counts Declan's shoulders to the mat.
Lex Robinson: With all the damage Declan has sustained, this could be it!
...1...2...
Lex Robinson: No!
Steve Hebert: Casanova stopped the count!
Lex Robinson: Reaching forward, Casanova grabs Crux's mask and pulls him off Declan. Heck, he even gives him a good shot to the head, too! Lifting Crux up, he pulls him in and double-underlocks his arms. He lifts Crux up... double-underhook spike-piledriver! Crux has been driven to the canvas, landing on his head!
Steve Hebert: Hah! All of that just for trying to pin Declan Turner, Casanova's own nemesis.
Lex Robinson: I guess Casanova wants to finish things himself.
On his own two feet, Casanova hovers around Declan and is about to pick him up. However, he is unaware of Morgana, who is still on the ring apron and decides to use the top rope as a springboard.
Lex Robinson: Flying from the skies, Morgana connects with a springboard missile dropkick to the back of Casanova's head! That actually sends him sprawling forward, knocking him against the ropes. Quickly and wisely, Morgana motions ahead and tries dumping him to the floor!
Steve Hebert: She can't get him out, though. He fights back, not wanting to be thrown out by this skank. Clawing at her face, he is able to retain his balance in the ring, grab her from behind and then hoist her up into a back-suplex position. With reckless abandon, he drops her crotch-first across the top rope! If she had a cock and balls, she'd be in a rack of pain right now!
Lex Robinson: Even so, she's in prime position for Casanova, who jumps onto the adjacent middle rope. Jumping back, he glides through the air, hoping to strike her with a clothesline, which would knock her to the floor...!
Steve Hebert: That bitch ducks!
Lex Robinson: She helps herself back up and takes a spot on the top turnbuckle. Seconds later, Casanova is back on his feet and he faces her. He makes a grab at her... but she walks the ropes!
Escaping from Casanova's clutches, Morgana walks on the top rope, from one corner to the other, as if it were a tight rope.
Steve Hebert: Goddamnit! Why couldn't she slip, fall to the floor and break her neck?!
Lex Robinson: How dangerous was that?!
Steve Hebert: Very dangerous! Hence, me wanting her to break her neck!
In the adjacent corner, she notices Declan Turner rise. Upon seeing her, he jumps into the corner, trying to knock her to the floor. Thinking fast, she cartwheels across the top rope and then lands securely in the ring, on her two feet!
Lex Robinson: She keeps flipping all over the place! No one can grab hold of her. After her match earlier in the night, against Corey Ashton, who would have thought she'd still have it in her?!
Steve Hebert: And he stretched her every which way. He turned her into a pretzel, for crying out loud!
Reaching into the ring, Chris Extreme shakes Crux, trying to wake him up. In the meantime, Declan turns around and goes to make another grab at Morgana; but she responds by doing a complete backflip, escaping his clutches. Unfortunately, this also aligns him in front of Casanova, who comes stampeding out, kicking Declan in the temple with another running big-boot!
Lex Robinson: Casanova just introduced his foot to Declan's face!
Steve Hebert: For about the 90th time tonight!
Lex Robinson: Morgana targets him, next, though! She jumps onto his shoulders with her knees. From there, she pushes herself up to her feet -- while on his shoulders -- and then drops down, hurricanrana'ing him into a full-on rollup!
Steve Hebert: Up... down... rollup!
Lex Robinson: The count is made...
...1...
Lex Robinson: One...
...2...
Lex Robinson: Two...
...
Steve Hebert: A dizzy Crux makes the save! Not only that, but he pulls Morgana by the hair... and then throws her over the top rope...!
Lex Robinson: Whoa!
Luckily for Morgana, she's able to hang on the top rope and skin the cat once again.
Lex Robinson: Struggling to hang on, Morgana is upside-down, holding tightly to that top rope. Seeing this, Crux stumbles back, opting not to help her. Unfortunately, he walks right into an Ocean Cyclone Suplex from Declan Turner--... and wait! In an odd turn of events, Casanova and Declan indirectly team-up, as Casanova catches Crux on the way down, hitting a neckbreaker!
Steve Hebert: But they get right back up and immediately begin attacking each other... again!
Lex Robinson: Casanova whips Declan to the ropes... in which Morgana is pulling herself up. As he approaches, she reaches up with her legs and wraps them around Declan's head! She's going to pull him out!
Steve Hebert: No, no, no... no!
Lex Robinson: Even Casanova is coming over, offering a hand, trying to dump Declan out!
Upside-down, Morgana pulls Declan onto the apron with her legs, thanks to some help from a bloody Casanova. She's able to slink back inside, finding an opening beneath the bottom rope, leaving Declan on the apron, trying to fight off elimination.
Steve Hebert: Casanova is kicking at Declan, trying to get him to the floor. With one foot on Declan's throat, he's trying his hardest to get him out.
However, with his back turned, Casanova is unaware of the crawling, rolling Crux, who comes up behind him. Adjusting his mask, he views Casanova with his back turned and jumps at the chance to surprise him.
Lex Robinson: Here comes Crux...
Steve Hebert: The masked little faggot, on his knees, crawls up behind Casanova... grabs his legs and throws him over the top rope! Casanova is on the floor, eliminated from this match! Holy hell... what the god?!
Lex Robinson: And Declan rolls back into the ring, still alive!
Steve Hebert: Casanova has been taken out... by Crux, of all people!
In the ring, Crux is jumping up and down. However, he has to stop once his jumping gives him a headache, thanks to the damage done to him.
Steve Hebert: I can't believe it. Casanova has been taken out by that... that runt!
Lex Robinson: That "runt" is in the final three... and he may end up winning this entire thing!
Steve Hebert: What the fuck?!
A surprised Casanova pops up to his feet, not liking his elimination. Gritting his teeth, he is forced to the back, with blood squirting out of various cuts and scrapes on his body.
Lex Robinson: Only three people left -- Declan Turner, Crux and Morgana!
Steve Hebert: If Crux ends up winning this match, I'm going to eat a bullet.
Lex Robinson: Would you like to clause that?
Steve Hebert: What? Fuck no.
Trying to capitalize on having just eliminated Casanova, Crux turns to the next big fish -- Declan Turner. Letting Declan rise, Crux pounces on him.
Lex Robinson: Can you believe this? Crux is going after Declan Turner!
Steve Hebert: He didn't learn that from Corey Page. That's all that I'll say about that.
Lex Robinson: Striking with chops to the throat, Crux even begins biting at Declan, like some sort of cannibal!
Steve Hebert: Jesus... this is definitely Chris Extreme's influence.
Lex Robinson: Placing his teeth on the bloody forhead of Decla, Crux begins chewing on his skin! All that can be heard is Declan yelling out... with Morgana creeping up on them. From behind, Morgana dropkicks Crux, trying to knock him to the floor. All that solves, though, is Crux's biting of Declan!
Steve Hebert: Seriously. That little motherfucker has turned around and is facing Morgana, with blood all over his own mask. Not his own blood, mind you, but Declan's.
Lex Robinson: With Chris Extreme cheering him on... occasionally even saving him from being thrown out, Crux attacks Morgana, kneeing her in the face, before she can rise!
Pulling Morgana into the middle of the ring, Crux snap-suplexes Morgana and pops right back up, still holding onto her. He nails another snap-suplex... and rolls through, again.
Lex Robinson: Back-to-back suplexes from Crux. Rolling up, he goes for another one... but Declan Turner moves in and waistlocks him from behind. As Crux suplexes Morgana, Declan sends Crux flying with a release German suplex!
Steve Hebert: He sent them both flying! Morgana went halfway across the ring with that suplex from Crux, thanks to Declan!
Lex Robinson: Picking both of his fellow opponents up, Declan bashes their skulls together and then scoops up Crux. Body slam! He picks up Morgana, and slams her onto Crux. Now what?
Steve Hebert: He's turning around... and standing no-look moonsaults onto both of them! He flattened them both! Grabbing Morgana, he drags her over to the ropes, hoists her up onto his shoulders and goes to dump her to the floor.
Lex Robinson: Morgana doesn't like this, though. At first, she's dazed, but now she realizes her situation. Grabbing onto the top rope, with both hands, she makes sure to lock herself into the corner. In here, she sits on the top turnbuckle, making Declan give up on his elimination attempt. Not only that, but she slaps him across the face!
Steve Hebert: Ugh... what a bitch.
Holding his red face, Declan turns around, seeing Crux charge at him. Thinking fast, he steps aside, making him plunge into the corner that Morgana is resting on.
Lex Robinson: Crux tumbles into the corner... and into a kick to the face from Morgana. It goes from bad to worse, as she facelocks him... and twirls out with a Tornado DDT!
As she spins out, Declan catches her legs and throws her down, much to the delight of a wounded Crux. Pushing her forward, she is sent towards Crux, who extends his arm, looking to clothesline her. It misses, badly.
Lex Robinson: Morgana ducks beneath a Crux clothesline... only to have Crux run into a kick to the gut from Declan! Morgana charges up the corner... while Declan grabs onto Crux and hoists him up, back-to-back in a Vertebreaker position!
Morgana moonsaults off the top rope, just as Declan drops Crux to the ground!
Lex Robinson: They hit a combination of Vertebreaker and Moonsault double-stomp! Oh God, poor Crux!
Steve Hebert: Fuck Crux. Look at Chris Extreme. He is horrified! Who's he going to train now that Crux is dead?!
Lex Robinson: He's not dead... but he's messed up. Goddamn! Only Morgana and Declan are able to rise at this time. They stand opposite of each other, gasping for oxygen, having been through hell tonight. As Declan steps towards Morgy, it's Crux that miraculously reaches up and grabs onto his bleeding foot!
Steve Hebert: He's supposed to be knocked out!
Lex Robinson: He is... or was. He's barely conscious, but his last instinct is to reach out and grab onto Declan's foot. This allows for Morgana to catch him off-guard, striking him with kicks and chops.
Stumbling against the ropes, Declan kicks off Crux, but is unable to back away from Morgana's increasingly stronger attack. Whipping him across the ring, Morgana catches him on the rebound with a kick to the gut, hunching him over. Seconds later, she bounces off the adjacent set of ropes, springs back and jumps onto his back, as he remains hunched over.
Lex Robinson: Jumping off Declan's back, Morgana Shooting Star Presses herself onto Crux! She jumps back up, ducks beneath a punch from Declan, circles behind him and then jumps onto his shoulders.
Steve Hebert: He needs to give her a good punch to knock her down.
Lex Robinson: In a haze, he pushes Morgana off his shoulders. Using this momentum, she bursts off the ropes and swings back, cartwheeling towards him...
Steve Hebert: Blam!
Lex Robinson: But she pops up, jumping into a vicious right-hook from Declan Turner, which turns Morgana inside-out!
Steve Hebert: Only Declan remains standing!
Dripping blood and plasma, Declan picks up both of Morgana and Crux. He lifts Crux onto his shoulders with a standing fireman's carry. Ditto with Morgana. Headed towards the ropes, he's about to dump them both out at the time time.
Steve Hebert: This is it! Declan's going to be the new Sin Trophy winner! He's going to earn that trophy, go to Vanity and earn whatever match he wants! He's going to toss them both out at the same time!
Lex Robinson: He's heaving them out... before they're resisting... or trying to...
Steve Hebert: C'mon... just a little more. He has them slung out...
Luckily for Morgana, she's able to slip behind Declan, escaping the danger of the attempted throwing.
Lex Robinson: Morgana is behind Declan, but Crux is almost dumped out. Chris Extreme is over there, holding him up!
Steve Hebert: Agh! No! Back off, Chris!
As Chris Extreme and Declan play reverse Tug of War with Declan, pushing on him from each side, Morgana disappears behind both men. She sends herself bouncing off the furthest set of ropes...
Lex Robinson: Here comes Morgana... John Woo Kick to the back of Declan! That sends him spilling over the top rope!
Steve Hebert: And there goes Crux, too!
Lex Robinson: No! Crux is caught by Chris Extreme, who holds him in his arms, like a sack of potatoes! Declan remains on the apron, saving himself!
The crowd is going nuts, as Morgana follows up.
Lex Robinson: Three of them are still left in the match...
Using the middle rope as a springboard, Morgana propels herself back, connecting with a dropkick to Declan, knocking him off the apron!
Lex Robinson: Declan falls!
Steve Hebert: He crashes into Chris Extreme and Crux! They all spill onto the floor! Ugh... no! That whore did it!
Eliminated: Crux
Lex Robinson: Morgana wins! Morgana wins! Morgana is the first-ever two-time Sin Trophy winner!
Steve Hebert: First, Corey Ashton... and now, this. Ugh. There's no hope left in the world.
Lex Robinson: The crowd is on their feet, celebrating Morgana's victory! What a show! What a night! We've had violence... high-flying... wrestling... everything!
On the floor, Declan Turner is horrified. He smacks his arm off the canvas, spits blood at the crowd and then walks to the back, obviously angry at the loss.
Steve Hebert: Poor Declan. After destroying Casanova, he should have won this. He deserves the Sin Trophy. He deserves it all.
Alternatively, Chris Extreme and Crux walk to the back, with Chris carrying him over his shoulder. He may not have been victorious, but Crux put up one hell of a fight, which Chris responds with by patting his bum.
Lex Robinson: What a show! Goodnight, everybody. We'll leave you with Morgana receiving the Sin Trophy... for the second time in her career!
Fireworks go off in the Hollywood Hills, as Morgana receives both the Television Title and the Sin Trophy from officials. The image shown is that of Morgana holding the TV Title over her right shoulder, while kneeling before the Sin Trophy.
Fireworks go off.
Glory pervades.
The fans are on their feet, overjoyed with the results of tonight's main event.
That's how you send people home happy.
Winner: Morgana
Casanova: What do you want?
He doesn't turn, as he senses the figure get closer. He sighs in aching frustration.
Casanova: Who is it? Roxy?
He finally turns, his eyes going wide with familiarity at the figure before him. As soon as he does, though, he freezes...a jagged point of a wooden stake jutting through his back.
Casanova: ...you...
His eyes go glassy, as his limbs go limp. He slumps to his knees, and then flops to the ground. The figure quickly fades into the crowd, as a few quasi-medical looking guys immediately show up, moving Casanova onto a stretcher, and taking him off into the night.
| Corey | Battle Royal Ashton Endurance Match Ultraviolence Title Match |
| Casanova | World Title Match |
| Stevie Swing | Thumb Wrestling Match |
| Chris Carson | Luciano/Cameron/Scar/Jay |
| Declan Turner | Hell in a Cell |
| Corey Casanova Jimmy Luciano Chris Carson Morgana |
Various segments |