Dark Match
Dark Match
Naughty or Nice? Match
International Scramble Match
Lumberwench Match
Christmas Gifts on a Pole Match
Television Title -- Finals
Main Event -- War Games |
Dark Match J2K vs. Jonathan Cage Before the crowd can fully sit in their seat, they are treated to an opening bout of J2K versus Jonathan Cage, a newcomer to the ranks of Sin Wrestling. When the bell rings, the two immediately meet in the center of the ring, where Jonathan Cage instantly takes down J2K with a side-headlock legsweep, following that up by sitting on Cage's chest and pounding him with a vast amount of fists.
Completely dominating, Jonathan Cage manages to throw J2K with some suplexes and then strike him with a superkick, totally knocking him out of his game. In the end, J2K is hit with the Oblivion, a seated muscle-buster, from Jonathan Cage, who easily covers him for the pinfall victory.
Dark Match Despite all of this, Booger uses all of his girth and weight to maintain an advantage over the tag team, even squishing them in the corner, where it looks like he humps the two men. At one point, he even places Buck Travis' face in his stinky crotch.
Nevertheless, despite Booger's dominance, he accidentally trips over Johnny Valley, falls on his back and allows the Streets of Bakersfield to fall on top of him, giving them the chance to cover him. The three-count is then made by the referee, declaring the Streets of Bakersfield as the winners of the match.
 We open up in Bethlehem. Bethlehem, Pennsylvania; that is. We're located inside of a manger, where a young virgin is giving birth to her bastard child, laying flat on her back, seated against a large bail of hay. Surrounded her is various farm animals, including some chickens, pigs, ducks and a cow or two. In the far-off corner, three wise-men stand, bearing gifts of joy for the virgin, who cries out in pain, having her boyfriend laid out in front of her, as she is delivering her child. Wise Man #1: Man, this is intense. Wise Man #2: Tell me about it. Wise Man #3: Yo, this is some whack-ass shit.
The third wise-man, being of colored descent, stands near the other two, who just watch as the boyfriend crawls in between his girlfriend's legs, trying to pry the Boyfriend: Breathe! Breathe! Virgin: I am breathing, you worthless sack of shit! I blame you for doing this to me! Boyfriend: Me?! You won't even let me touch you! How is this my fault?! Virgin: Well, how else could I have gotten pregnant?! Wise-Man #2: It's the power of Christ. Virgin: The power of Christ better get this thing out of my uterus! AARGHHHFFFHHH! More surges of pain can be heard emanating from the virgin, disturbing every animal in the manger, including the one cow that looks to be a little too preoccupied with what's going on. Cow: Moooo! Virgin: Shut up, stupid cow! Cow: Moooo. Virgin: Oh God, get it out of me, Joseph! Joseph, the Boyfriend: Jesus merciful, I'm trying! Wait... here it is... it's coming, Mary... it's coming! Wise-Man #1: Oh joyous be to glory of God! Wise-Man #3: Sheeeeeyat, negro, where dat baby at? A loud yelp emits from "The Virgin" Mary, as she pushes on her vaginal muscles... Joseph: It's almost here... I can see its head... An awkward silence from Joseph. Joseph: Uh... what the Jesus? A bald, gooey head pushes its way out from "The Virgin" Mary's vagina. Joseph: Wh-- what... what's going on?! A Swastika...?! The bald head wiggles its way to freedom, soon followed by a neck, arms, a body and legs. Wise-Man #3: This is some freaky shit. The image of a Swastika is present on the body that now stands in front of everyone, naked, letting his testicles float in the wind. With goo all over his body, the image is shown to be a fully-grown Chris Extreme, who is covered in blood, fluid and god knows what else. A cow walks up to him, licks some fluid off his asshole, prompting Chris to giggle like a schoolgirl. Chris Extreme: Hehehe, stop that. Shoving the cow away, Chris looks around the manger, glaring at everyone who is now puzzled and disgusted. Chris Extreme: What? Don't look at me! He speaks down to Joseph. Chris Extreme: Your girlfriend is a slut and she's loose as hell! Having his jaw gaping wide open, Joseph can barely respond, as Chris walks away, presumably headed towards tonight's pay per view event, Santa's Revenge. "The Virgin" Mary blushes and decides to speak up. "The Virgin" Mary: I... uh... I don't know how he got up there! Weeping to himself, Joseph gets to his feet... Joseph: You whore! ...And then he steps away, leaving behind a trail of tears. Meanwhile, the three wise-men share awkward glances back-and-forth at each other. Wise-Man #2: So... uh... Wise-Man #1: ...Are you sure we have the right spot? Before anything else can happen, Chris Extreme re-enters the barn. Chris Extreme: Whoops. I forgot something. He steps towards the black wise-man, punches him in the face and then steals the present that the wise-man was carrying. Chris Extreme: I do believe that this is mine. With that said and done, Chris walks off, leaving the other wise-men behind. Wise-Man #1: Uh... can he do that? Wise-Man #2: ...It appears so! The other two wise-men shrug and walk off, while "The Virgin" Mary winks at a cow, who then proceeds to fuck the shit out of her loose vagina. We fade out, but not before hearing some final crying from Joseph, who watches his girlfriend get pillaged by a cow.
 Chris Extreme vs. Santa Claus Much to the dismay of the fans in attendance, the all too familiar music of "Sonne" by Rammstein blasts out of the speakers. Dear world, I hate you... I hate women, sluts, and faggots... I hate preps, geeks, hippies, wiggers, punks, emos, goths, and trendy cultures... I hate niggers, spics, chinks, sand niggers, tee-pee niggers, eskimos, and any poisoned race that isn't pure white... I hate Jews, Muhammad, Buddah, Jesus, L. Ron Hubbard, Anton LaVey, and all world religions... I do, on the other hand, like vanilla milkshakes. Love,
p.s. I'm the world's greatest asshole. Wasting no time in swaggering down to the ring, the crowd tries to boo Chris Extreme away forever. The heat only turns him on, as "Lord Nazi" slides into the ring in his white boxers and socks. He is bandaged and stitched up, and still looking pissed off from his loss to Corey Page at Illusions. Lex Robinson: How the hell did that pile of shit get through the doors?! He shouldn't even be here! Security! Steve Hebert: Shut it, Lex! You need to respect a legend! Chris Extreme should be accepted into our company again with open arms. Lex Robinson: I don't think so, Steven. He nearly destroyed this company... even moreso than Flame. At the sight of Chris Extreme in the center of a SW ring again, the booing and taunting crowd erupts in a, "STAY THE FUCK DEAD!" chant. Lex Robinson: Amen to that. Stop coming back to life. The hated Nazi is handed a microphone and he puts it up to his lips. Chris Extreme: Shut the fuck up. At this, the crowd can only boo louder, trying to make Chris deaf. A "WE WANT COREY!" chant breaks out. Chris just ignores them and speaks. Chris Extreme: I'm still an angry little lion cub about my loss to Corey at Illusions. I was screwed over... I only lost due to poor fucking politics. Lex Robinson: You have got to be kidding me. I am sick of hearing that word, "politics." Steve Hebert: Shut up, L-Rob! Don't interrupt him; he's an angry Simba! Chris Extreme: But that's in the past. To feel good about myself again, I am going to take my anger and hate on the one you all love -- no, not Corey Page -- but Santa Claus! Yes, Santa has accepted my open challenge. Now get your blubber butt out here! Chants of "Santa! Santa! Santa!" shake the arena as "Santa Claus is Comin' to Town" plays over the P.A. system. You better watch out
Fathers in the audience hold their children onto their shoulders to see the wonderful spectacle that is Father Christmas. Why parents would take their children to a Sin Wrestling event is beyond comprehension and sanity. Nevertheless, snowflakes fall from the rafters, as eight reindeer -- Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donder, and Blitzen -- pull out Santa's sleigh. Guiding the sleigh at the front is SW's own Betsy the Goat with a red nose. He has taken over Rudolph's spot, who was too expensive for SW to make an appearance. Santa Claus sits inside the sleigh, dressed in traditional red, with a black bag over his shoulder, and a giant box in the back of his sleigh. The giant box is wrapped in pink wrapping paper with a big pink bow tied on it. Elves surrounded the sleigh. Lex Robinson: Santa Claus! Santa Claus is here, Steve! Steve Hebert: I think I just saw Chris Extreme's cock get hard when he saw Vixen. Lex Robinson: ...Wonderful. I don't know what disturbs me more; the thought of Chris Extreme getting an erection at the sight of a reindeer, or you paying attention to Chris Extreme's package. Steve Hebert: Come on! Chris Extreme's cock is eye candy now! It's like The Rock's eyebrow! Lex Robinson: The who? Once the sleigh makes it to ringside it haults. Betsy merrs and starts to communicate with the other reindeer, even flirting with Vixin and Cupid. For some reason, this makes Chris Extreme jealous. Exiting his sleigh, Santa uses a candy cane as a walking stick and climbs up the steel steps, and enters over the top rope. The elves, dressed in green, carry the giant gift into the ring and set in the center. Pacing back and forth like a lunatic, Chris Extreme just taunts the elves. Steve Hebert: I don't think Chris Extreme likes elves, Lex. Lex Robinson: He's just a Grinch; that's all! One of the little green elves jumps up and grabs Chris's microphone right out of his hand. Chris can only snarl, as the elf brings it over to Santa. The crowd is still cheering, but gets quiet when Santa begins to speak. Santa Claus: Ho Ho Ho! Crowd pop. Frantically, Chris looks to his left and to his right and all around him, looking for hoes. He can't find any. Santa Claus: Little Christopher, you have been a naughty, naughty boy. I will take care of you in a second, but first... Santa points to the giant pink gift that the elves surround. Santa Claus: To Corey Page and all my friends in Sin Wrestling except Chris Extreme, I have come to bring you a present. Inside this box is something very special. The crowd stands to their tippy-toes and become very excited. The anticipation is overwhelming, but Chris just gets anxiety, as he grabs another microphone. Chris Extreme: What about me?! ME ME ME! What about Chrishy?! Where's my present?! Santa Claus: Shut up, douchebag. Even though you have been a very naughty Nazi, I even had a forgiving heart and brought you a present, as well. A big grin casts over Chris's face as his eyes light up in glee. The only tall elf -- one that is of average female height and has an astounding figure -- retrieves the black bag from Santa's sleigh. Bringing it into the ring, she hands it to Chris who yanks it out of her hand like a little boy on Christmas morning. Santa Claus: Merry Christmas, Christopher! Opening up the black bag and dumping it out, coal falls out and covers the ring. The entire crowd laughs as Santa chuckles while his milk belly jiggles. All the elves laugh and mock the Nazi too, and even all the reinder and Betsy. Humiliated and angered, Chris attacks like a dog. Steve Hebert: Yes! Don't take that shit; you are "Lord Nazi! Kicking the little gay elves out of the ring like soccer balls, Chris calls them faggots. The tall elf avoids him, though, and slides out of the ring. After getting passed the line of defense, Chris clobbers Santa with an axe-handle, knocking him over. The bell rings, officially starting the match. Picking up Santa's head, Chris drags him over to the bottom rope and stuffs his mouth into it. Curbstomping his head a few times, Chris knocks off Santa's hat. Chris Extreme: Die Santa! Rot in Hell, you fat tub of nigger shit! Little boys and girls in the audience begin to cry as Chris Extreme then mounts Santa, beating his head in with sucker punches. Eventually, Santa's face matches the color of his costume, but a much more darker, crimson red. Lex Robinson: This is disgusting. Steve Hebert: No way, this is awesome! Fuck Santa Claus! The ring is smeared with Santa's blood, as Chris drags him through the coal, around the giant gift, and over to the turnbuckle. He lifts Santa up to the top rope, calling out for his perverted finishing move. Popping up a hard one, Chris exposes his cock to the crowd. Collectively, parents censor their children's eyes by covering them up and then censoring their own eyes while shuddering. Before Chris can execute the Cock Factor, Santa squinches the Nazi with a polar bearhug, trying to suck the life out of him. The crowd cheers as Santa dives off with Chris still squeezed in his arms, and flattens him on the mat like a pancake below. He stays on for the cover... Steve Hebert: Holy Jesus, Santa Claus may actually win this...! Lex Robinson: I can't believe what I'm watching. Steve Hebert: One...
...1... ...2... ...Chris kicks out! Steve Hebert: Thanks be-to-baby Jesus burning in a manger, Chris Extreme kicks out. Lex Robinson: Crawling to safety, Chris uses the ropes as leverage to climb back to his feet. He rests against the turnbuckle, which is a costly mistake. Charging like a snowplow, Santa uses all of his weight and squashes Chris in the corner with an Avalanche! Steve Hebert: Good Christ. What a fat tub of shit. Sinking to the mat, Chris intelligently rolls out of the ring to prevent another pin. He lands to the outside as the referee begins to count to ten. Meanwhile, the little elves get their payback and start attacking Chris by stomping on him. Steve Hebert: They can't do that! The tall elf just lounges from afar. Steve Hebert: Not those little green fags, again! Come on, Chris! Lex Robinson: Santa's crew is owning! Throwing a few elves off his back, Chris knocks a few more out with punches and boots a couple of them into the crowd. Steve Hebert: Damnit, I almost caught one. Lex Robinson: Someone's gonna have a pet elf for Christmas. Steve Hebert: That's almost as good as Chris Extreme's pet goth. The count gets up to five, when Betsy the Red-Nosed Goat leads the reindeer around the ring with the sleigh to attack the Nazi further. Getting bitten and bucked by the reindeer, Chris retaliates by picking up one of the elves and using him as a weapon, smacking the reindeer upside the head as they fall over. Lex Robinson: Betsy is attacking! Steve Hebert: ...No, wait... Betsy ducks one of the elf shots, and when he gets to Vixen, Chris pulls out his cock and cockslaps her across the face, knocking her over. When the count gets up to nine, Chris wisely slides back into the ring. Lex Robinson: That was the worst thing I have ever seen. Steve Hebert: Are you kidding? That's the best thing I've ever witnessed.
Lex Robinson: Well, now Chris Extreme has taken out Santa's entire crew. The elves and reindeer... Chris has a heart made of coal... Steve Hebert: Chris has the Nazi spirit, not the Christmas spirit! Now get in their and finish off Santa! Kill Christmas, Chris! As soon as Chris re-enters the ring, Santa pulls him into a standing headscissors, looking to execute his finishing move, the Santa Express Bomb! Dropping to his knees, Chris strikes Santa below his belt with a low blow! His nuts crack at the hands of the nutcracker. When Santa hunches over, holding his crotch, Chris goes in for the kill. In the center of the ring instead of off the top rope, Chris jumps up with Santa's head and hits a facebuster onto his erected cock! This time, "Lord Cock" drives all the way into Santa's head. Blood and brains splatter all over Chris's cock. Sliding his cock out of Santa's mashed head, Chris wipes his bloody cock off on his white boxers. The children in the audience are scarred for life, as Chris makes the cover... Lex Robinson: I.... uh... well... Steve Hebert: I smell lots of future psychological bills. Lex Robinson: I... hmm... uhh... a pinfall..! Steve Hebert: Even better! ...1... 2... 3!
Lex Robinson: I have seen some sick shit in Sin Wrestling, but this tops it all. Look at the children in the crowd; they are crying for Godsakes! Steve Hebert: This is what happens when you play with Nazis! Chris Extreme has just killed Santa Claus and ruined Christmas this year for all the little boys and little girls. Picking up a much needed victory after back-to-back losses in a year's time to "The Creep" Chris Carson and Corey Page, Chris plucks Santa to his feet and tosses him over the top rope. Catching sight at the giant pink present, Chris walks over to it. The crowd looks on as Chris stops and picks up a microphone. Chris Extreme: I wonder what is inside. Wouldn't you bastards like to know? The crowd cheers yes, even though they hate the Nazi. Steve Hebert: Yes, please do! What do you think is inside, Lex? Lex Robinson: Hopefully a bomb. Steve Hebert: ... Climbing onto the giant, pink gift box, Chris unties the big pink bow and pushes it over the box. He then starts to rip, tear, and peel away at the pink wrapping paper. Running circles around the gift box, he unwraps it entirely before taking a breather. All he has to do now is open the cardboard box. Steve Hebert: This is so exciting, Lex. Lex Robinson: Just open the damn thing. Good grief. The crowd anxiously chants, "Open it! Open it! Open it!" After teasing the crowd a little, Chris finally kicks the box and the four sides of it come down. Inside is Morgana in a pink holiday dress and wearing makeup. Chris Extreme: ... Steve Hebert: That's.... I know her... that's Morgana! A former TWW, XWW and NEW Legend! She's Chris' ex-girlfriend, too, what the shit?!
The crowd absolutely explodes and chant, "HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!" Lex Robinson: Oh my god, that's Morgana! That's... that's... Morgana Ashton from TWW, XWW, AND NEW... she's here! Steve Hebert: This is the greatest gift that Sin Wrestling could ever receive! Oh my holy God, and Chris Extreme is just standing shocked! He hasn't seen her in over 3 years... since she dumped him! Standing frozen in time, Chris's jaw drops to his cock. Morgana just stands there to chants of her name, while grinning like a Cheshire cat and winking and waving at the crowd. All the while, Chris continues to stare and gawk at her in shock. Steve Hebert: Why are you just standing there, Chris?! Cock Factor her! This is your long awaited chance! Rubbing his eyes and pinching his arm, Chris takes a few steps back from the goddess enigma. Chris Extreme: No... no... this can't be! You're not real! I am just dreaming this! Morgana just sticks her tongue out at him. In fear, Chris jumps over the rop rope. Steve Hebert: What you doing, Chris?! You little pussy, get back in there and lock on the Cunt Claw! Lex Robinson: Chris's testicles just shriveled up at the sight of Morgana. And yes, I was paying attention to his package. Taking his eyes off Morgana for a moment, Chris turns around and bumps right into the tall elf from earlier. The elf removes her hat, revealing her beautiful goldlocks. The crowd chants, "HOLY SHIT!" again after recognizing it is the other wifey, Adora! Just like Morgana, she sticks her tongue out at Chris. Lex Robinson: That's...
Chris Extreme: AAAAHHHH!!! Lex Robinson: Oh my god, that's Adora from XWW and NEW! She used to be rivals with Chris Extreme! Steve, for Godsakes, put that thing back in your pants! Steve Hebert: No! Going insane, Chris runs into the ring post and falls over. Springing back to his feet, he leaps over the guardrail and into the crowd, knocking over a few people in the front row. Getting back to his feet, he scurries away through the crowd, pushing people out of his path. Lex Robinson: Chris just ran away with his cock tucked between his legs! Steve Hebert: God why?! Be a man and come back, Chris! Come back and rape the wifeys! Adora just shrugs and enters the ring. The wifeys lock arms in the center of the ring for a hug as the crowd whistles and cheers for the girl on girl action. Following the hug, "I Hope You Die" by Bloodhound Gang plays over the P.A. system. The owner of Sin Wrestling, Corey Page, comes waltzing down with two contracts in his hand and a microphone. To a standing ovation, he pets Betsy the Red-Nosed Reindeer before sliding into the ring to greet the wifeys. Lex Robinson: I bet I know whose contracts those are, Steve! Steve Hebert: Durr. Smiling at the crowd and waving the contacts, Corey speaks up in front of the wifeys. Corey Page: Wifeys! Morgana and Adora: Hubby! To the amazement of the crowd, Corey Page gets sandwiched between the wifeys for a group hug. During it, Corey tries to feel up some boobies, but gets his hand slapped. Steve Hebert: What the?! Hey, that's unfair! Lex Robinson: Whoa! Corey Page has just set his differences aside with his former XWW rivals and befriended the wifeys! This is like the time Corey shook hands with "The Creep" Chris Carson. Steve Hebert: This, obviously, tops that moment. Corey Page: Obviously, the wifeys have signed contracts with Sin Wrestling. Thanks, bye. "I Hope You Die" by Bloodhound Gang hits again and Corey Page exits the ring, calls Betsy the Red-Nosed Goat over to him, then returns backstage. Lex Robinson: That was awesome. Steve Hebert: It really was. Adora and Morgana hold hands, exit the ring, and sing and skip backstage.
Nikita shuffles her way down to Corey Page's office wearing a red dress with white furry stuff along the bottom of the dress, bottom of the sleeves, and neckline. Of course, she completes the outfit with a pretty little Santa's hat. Behind her, she's dragging a burlap sack that looks as though it's full of presents. Nikita: Ho ho ho! Corey Page: Hoes?! Where?! Nikita: No, dummy. It's Christmas. Corey Page: Oh! What'd you get me?! Nikita hands him a box wrapped in red paper with a gold bow. He begins to rip it open and then slowly stops. Corey Page: If there's fingers in here, you're fired. He continues to unwrap it and then opens the box, pulling out a gold plated Corey Page action figure standing inside of a ring, which is also gold plated. Nikita begins walking over to Betsy. Corey Page: Well, holy shit. Nikita: And I got this for Betsy! Out of her burlap sack, she pulls out wooden deer antlers on a headband and places it on Betsy's head. She then hands them both a candy cane. Nikita: Merry Christmas! Corey Page: Thanks! Betsy: Merr! Nikita makes her exit, walking face first into the door frame before actually exiting.
Belgarath (America) vs. Kai Aiden (Ireland) vs. Konstantin Bryzgalov (Russia) vs. Charles Minister (England) A Perfect Circle's "Counting Bodies Like Sheep To The Rhythm of the War Drums" starts playing, as the arena's lights dim and red lights at the entrance start flashing to the beat of the song.
from the window Go back to sleep Safe from pain and truth and choice and other poison devils, See, they don't give a fuck about you, like I do. At this moment, Konstantin Bryzgalov comes marching out from the entrance, down to the ring in a ring jacket, with Brody Reno following behind him. He quickly gets to the end of the aisle and stands there.
Count the bodies like sheep Counting bodies like sheep To the rhythm of the war drums Finally, Konstantin rips off his ring jacket and rolls into the ring.
Lex Robinson: Big, beefy Russian time! Steve Hebert: Don't forget about tiny American time, either. I'm talking about Brody Reno, Konstantin's manager. Lex Robinson: Remember when he beat Draco? Steve Hebert: Gah! Don't ever mention that again. Ever. As the slow melodic chords of "Zombie" by the Cranberries starts playing, the crowd falls to a hush, awaiting for the one-man Irish army, Kai Aiden, to step out.
//Another head hangs lowly, Kai Aiden steps from the entrance way as the crowd applauds and sways in unison. The seemingly souless Kai Aiden makes no attempt to recognize the crowd and he makes his slow pace to the ring.
//But you see, it's not me, it's not my family. Kai Aiden enters the ring and walks over to the ropes and stares out into the crowd aimlessly as the camera pans into his expressionless face.
//In your head, in your head, As the music fades out, Kai stops pacing in the ring and heads to his corner. Lex Robinson: Kai Aiden is a newcomer to Sin Wrestling; I do believe he is from Ireland, too. Steve Hebert: They make good beer. Lex Robinson: I wouldn't know; I don't drink. Steve Hebert: Well, I do and I'm celebrating Christmas early, goddamnit. Steve takes a gulp from the bottle of liquor beneath his desk. Lex Robinson: Having fun? Steve Hebert: Fuck yeah. The lights dim as "Black Label" by Lamb of God plays over the PA. A single light illuminates a smoke-filled stage entrance, as the silhouette of Belgarath can be seen in the doorway. He has his head down, wearing his long, black trench-coat and his hair is dripping, with his fists clenched. As the music builds up, the light dims in the doorway, with nothing but the image of a bleak shadowy figure standing in the there. The music explodes into the full frenzy of gritty guitars and pounding drums, The lights burst on and bright pyros explode from the stage, as Belgarath quickly emerges from the doorway with his arms raised high and screaming at the top of his lungs. The lights dim a little and the runway and ring are flooded in deep red light. Belgarath briskly makes his way down the ramp, throwing his shades into the audience as he walks past the crowd. He slides into the ring and makes his way over to the adjacent ring post, climbing it, and throwing his arms out to the side, in a crucifix position as the vocals kick in over the PA...
Compression of my space made complete. I would rip out my own entrails by hand just to be alone. Inanity rolls total through this sphere... " He climbs down and makes his way over to the other ring post and does the same. The music still blares on, as he climbs down and makes his way to the center of the ring. The lights raise back up, and the music cuts out as Belgarath waits intently for his match to begin. Steve Hebert: Yet another new guy! Damn. Lex Robinson: Yup, this is Belgarath. This is his first on-air match, so he'll be looking to come out victorious, too. The English national anthem, "God Save The Queen", resounds through the arena. Charles Minister appears from behind the curtain and stops. He looks around the arena, his nose turned up disapprovingly at the rabble of peasants gathered before him. Charles slowly raises a hand in a self-important wave and a well-timed explosion of fireworks blast up from the stage on both sides of him and he begins his approach to the ring. Steve Hebert: And, as usual, a British person walks to the ring, as snobby as ever. Nothing wrong with it! Lex Robinson: Aroo? With all four men in the ring and ready for the match to start, the bell sounds and no one wastes anytime getting this one underway. Oddly, the American goes after the Russian, while the Irishmen goes over the Brit. Steve Hebert: USA! USA! USA! Kill Russia, America! Lex Robinson: ...Aren't you Canadian? Steve Hebert: ...Oh yeah. Wait, where the fuck is the Canadian in this match? Lex Robinson: We don't have one. Steve Hebert: What the Jesus? While Russia and America are trading blows back and forth, Kai Aiden and Charles Minister are in a tie-up, pushing each other back-and-forth into the ropes. After a moment, Kai gets the upper hand and quickly executes a snap DDT, driving Minister's head into the mat. Lex Robinson: Nice DDT from Kai Aiden. He really looks determined to bring it home on this one. Steve Hebert: All of these guys are fighting for their countries! Of course they want to bring it home. Seriously.. Ire-land! Ire-land! Lex Robinson: So, you're going for the Irish, now? Steve Hebert: Why the hell not? Rumor has it that his mother is a whore and I like whores. Lex Robinson: On the other side of the ring, Konstantin has the upper hand on Belgarath. Trying to use his sheer power to wear down the American in a headwrench, he puts all of his weight down on Belgarath's head and shoulders, where Konstantin finally gives up and drops a knee into the small of Belgarath's back. Not skipping a beat, he doesn't let the American recover at all, before dragging him back to his feet and whipping him into the ropes. Steve Hebert: Typical. Lex Robinson: Giving himself some momentum, the Russian lifts his big boot into the air and Belgarath crashes right into it, knocking him back over the top rope and into the other ring. Steve Hebert: Good! The action is going into that second ring. About damn time.
Lex Robinson: The big Russian, Konstantin Bryzgalov, is showing great determination to come out on top of this one. This guy really wants to win it. Steve Hebert: I'm pretty sure they all want to win it there, champ. This mammoth just happens to be in control, look at the size of this beast. Lex Robinson: He's a big boy, Steve, there's no questioning that. Steve Hebert: Big boy, eh? What are you, some kinda gay? Lex Robinson: No.. Steve Hebert: Sure, homogay. Before he is able to step through the ropes to the other ring, Konstantin is stopped by Kai Aiden, attempting to knock him down with a shoulder tackle. However, the size advantage is too great and Kai comes up short, seemingly just angering Bryzgalov. Lex Robinson: I don't know what the Irishman thought he was doing right there. Steve Hebert: He's Irish, what do you expect? He probably has a tiny cock, also. Lex Robinson: At least he isn't Asian. Steve Hebert: Oh my God, you are so racist. Lex Robinson: Uh...
Realizing he's gotten himself into a world of trouble, Kai tries backing away from Konstantin, but is only met by Charles Minister, who stands behind him. The second Aiden turns around, Minister cold-clocks him and then wraps him up, belly to belly, and then tosses him over his head with a massive Belly-to-Belly suplex. Aiden lands oddly on the back of his neck and is just sprawled out on the mat. Steve Hebert: I hope he's dead. Lex Robinson: ... Steve Hebert: What? Fuck those potatoe eating micks. Lex Robinson: I thought you wanted him to win! Steve Hebert: Nah, I'm rootin' for the Brit, now. Lex Robinson: God, make up your mind!
After watching Minister handle Aiden, the Russian turns to go back to Belgarath. However, he is met by the American, already being up and ready for him. When Konstantin turns around, he is met by a closed-fist to the skull and then a shoulder-thrust to his gut through the middle ropes from Belgarath. Lex Robinson: With Bryzgalove dazed, Belgarath brings the back of his forearm square against the Russian's head, which finally takes him down to the mat. He is back in this one and is the first man to take the big Russian down! Steve Hebert: Cold War time. Lex Robinson: And kai Aiden is still down on the mat and it doesn't even look like he's moved. Steve Hebert: Thank little baby Jesus. He's got to be dead. Lex Robinson: Is that where you want to be when baby Jesus does come back? Making fun of poor little Kai Aiden? Steve Hebert: Yes. While climbing through the ropes to get back into the occupied ring, Charles Minister finds it to be a good time to size up with Belgarath, but quickly realizes it is a mistake. Lex Robinson: Trying to take the American off-guard, Minister comes in, tries to land a kick to his face, as he climbs through the ropes. However, Belgarath sees it coming and is able to dodge it. He counters by diving through the ropes with a clothesline! Steve Hebert: Stunned by his poor attempt at gaining control and a bit dazed from the clothesline, Minister rolls out of the ring and paces around trying to get back into the action. What a good idea! Lex Robinson: Belgarath sees his actions, but doesn't pay any mind to it. He turns back to Konstantin, who is attempting to get back to his feet, instead. Belgarath doesn't want to waste too much time here. If he lets the Russian Bear gain back any momentum that could be it. Steve Hebert: You are so god damn gay. Lex Robinson: What the fuck did I do now? Steve Hebert: The Russian Bear? Is that your little pet name for him? Lex Robinson: What? No. It's just an expression for burly Russian men. Big, burly, Russian men. Steve Hebert: So gay. Lex Robinson: Whatever. Kai Aiden is finally getting back to his feet, slowly, but surely. Steve Hebert: Damnit. He isn't dead, afterall. Knowing his options are limited being in a match with three men who are much larger than him, Kai tries his best to go undetected, while making his way to his feet. Charles Minister is still on the outside waiting for the right moment to get into the ring, while the American and Russian are in the other corner exchanging blows once again. Lex Robinson: What's Kai doing? Steve Hebert: Looks like he's doing precalculus in the center of the ring.
Lex Robinson: Oh ok. Aiden is able to slide under the bottom rope of both rings and make his way to the opposite side, which is where all of his opponents are. He looks around and motions to the crowd to keep silent, not to give away his position. Much like a ninja. Steve Hebert: Motherfucking ninjas! I can't even see the little irishmen. He's like a leprechaun or something! Meanwhile, on the other side of the ring, Charles Minister has finally slipped back into the ring and has begun assisting Belgarath in the onslaught against the Russian. The two have him back into the corner, but Bryzgalov's face looks calm and ready for any exchange about to be brought to him. Lex Robinson: Oh boy. Steve Hebert: They realize they've made a mistake. Don't punish them! Lex Robinson: Belgarath and Minister look at each other and then give a slight nod. Minister rushes in torwards Konstantin, who catches him with a hard clothesline that sends him through the air and onto the mat! That big Russian man is angry!
Steve Hebert: Oh God, you are so gay. If you continue this, you'll be wanting to see some butt-sex in the middle of that ring.
Lex Robinson: That isn't what I meant. Steve Hebert: It's what you wish was happening. Lex Robinson: No. Steve Hebert: Yes. Lex Robinson: No. Steve Hebert: Haha.. surrre. Lex Robinson: Just call the damn match. Speaking of which, Belgarath nails the Russian with a forearm and then kicks him in the gut. Quickly setting up his next move, Belgarath grabs Konstantin and lifts him in up, using all of his power to hoist the big Russian up. Lex Robinson: Look at the strength being shown! Wow! Steve Hebert: [snickers] Balgrath quickly throws him up and over his head with a hard Samoan drop. However, from behind him, Kai Aiden has creeped back to where the action is at, and makes his way up to the top rope. He is perched there for a minute, waiting for someone to get up or turn around. Lex Robinson: Kai Aiden looks like he is finally ready to get involved in this match. Whoever he picks out as a target has got something coming to them! Steve Hebert: He's like a bird. An Irish bird.
Turning around to check on Minister, Belgarath sees Aiden on the top rope, but doesn't have much time to react before the Irishman leaps into the air with a crossbody. Unfortunately for him, Belgarath catches him in mid air, spins and slams him down with a massive powerslam. Steve Hebert: So much for that crossbody attempt! Lex Robinson: Hopping back up to his feet, almost immediatly, Belgarath lets out a battle cry of sorts after that huge slam. Steve Hebert: Whoa. That mick just got fucked up. Lex Robinson: For once, I agree with you. I really thought that he was going to catch the American off guard, but Belgarath is on top of his game tonight. In the midst of the action, Minister has made his way back to his feet and behind Belgarath. However in the flurry of action, Belgarath turns around quickly and lands an Inverted Atomic Drop on Minister, which drops him right back to the mat. Seizing the opportunity, Bal grabs Charles' legs and locks him into a Sharpshooter. Lex Robinson: The submission is applied! Having it locked in tight and nowhere near the ropes, Belgarath just keeps wrenching back as hard as he can. The action has seemed to pick up a bit. Steve Hebert: Hell, the Russian and American are just dominating this match right now. Lex Robinson: While Belgarath works on Minister, the Russian makes his way back to his feet and begins to work on Aiden, who was already down-and-out from the previous powerslam he sustained only moments ago. Lifting the lifeless Aiden to his feet, Konstantin lifts him, presses him into the air with great ease and then drops him down onto his shoulder, driving Kai down to the mat with a humongous powerslam! Steve Hebert: Wasting no time to flip Kai over, the Russian straddles the Irishmen's back and locks in his Konstantin Lock!
Lex Robinson: THIS MATCH COULD BE OVER RIGHT HERE! KONSTANTIN HAS HIS MODIFIED CAMEL CLUTCH LOCKED IN WITH NO SIGNS OF LETTING UP! Steve Hebert: Thank Jesus, I'm tired of the mixing pot that is in the ring right now. Hearing the fans going insane, Belgarath, who still has Minister in the Sharpshooter, looks over his shoulder and sees whats about to happen. With quick thinking, Belgarath elevates his submission and then falls backwards, locking his hands underneath Charles' chin and pulling back on his legs and face. Lex Robinson: This is it! Who's going to tap first! This one could be over in seconds! With the fans going insane, Konstantin begins to pull back harder, as does Belgarath, in his modified Sharpshooter/STF type move! Steve Hebert: Kai Aiden is going to tap! No, wait, the Brit will tap! Oh fuck, I don't know!
Finally, with one sharp tug, Belgarath lets out a mighty yell as he puts as much pressure as he can on Minister, forcing him to tap out! Lex Robinson: Charles Minister is tapping out! Belgarath wins this match! Steve Hebert: I told you so! I knew the American would win this match! USA! USA! USA! Lex Robinson: ...Just shut it. Belgarath's music, "Black Label" by Lamb of God hits and he walks to the back, victorious in his first-ever Sin Wrestling pay per view match. In the meantime, Charles Minister rolls out of the ring, feeling the pain he just suffered, while Konstantin Bryzgalov, clearly angry, keeps his submission move locked in on Kai Aiden. Lex Robinson: Let him go, Bryzgalov, you big, dumb, angry Russian! Steve Hebert: He should have tapped him! Serves him right! Brody Reno soon rolls in and forces Konstantin Bryzgalov to release the hold, after whispering some things in his ear. Lex Robinson: Finally! He releases his hold on poor Kai Aiden. Steve Hebert: Don't speak so soon, though. Brody rolls out of the ring, searched beneath the apron and pulls out a... a Russian flag! Lex Robinson: What the..? Is he going to poison Kai Aiden? Just like the Kremlin did to that one spy? Steve Hebert: Pffft... there's no evidence of that. ...At least not yet, anyhow. Returning inside of the ring, Brody Reno holds up the Russian flag, hands it over to Konstantin Brygalov, who swings it back and forth, much to the dismay of the fans. After listening to their boos rain in, he stomps Kai and then places the flag over his fallen body. Lex Robinson: This is like a Russian funeral! Steve Hebert: Good! Bury that dead Irishmen. I'm sure his whore of a mother will be proud.
Listening as the Russian national anthem plays, Konstantin Bryzgalov soon leaves Kai laying in the ring, having the Russian flag laid over him. Bryzgalov and Brody Reno then exit to the backstage area.
I ALONE AM BEST! Bloodhound Gang's "I Hope You Die" hits the speakers, thus bringing out Corey Page, who steps out from behind the curtain, dressed up quite formally for tonight's show, and is holding three plaques in his hand and a microphone. Having his music continue to roll in the background, he walks towards the ringside area, climbs up the ring steps and gets inside. Lex Robinson: Here he is! The owner of Sin Wrestling, Corey Page! Steve Hebert: Eh, I still say Chris Extreme should be running this shit-hole. Lex Robinson: You also say Flame should be running SW. Steve Hebert: God, don't remind me of that atrocity. Lex Robinson: Heh, so, shut up. Steve Hebert: Fine. But only because our lord and master, Corey Page, is out. Our lord and master, according to you, anyhow. Holding the microphone up to his mouth, Corey Page circles around the ring, listening to the crowd that cheer him loudly. Steve Hebert: Ugh. Sickening. Lex Robinson: Hush. Steve Hebert: Don't tell me what to do. Lex Robinson: I'm guessing Corey's out here to give his end-of-the-year Sin Wrestling address. Steve Hebert: Maybe he'll close this dump down once-and-for-all; which he seems to do every 3 months. Lex Robinson: Eh, the last time that happened, he was shot! Have respect. Steve Hebert: Hmm... good point. Chris Extreme shouldn't have missed Corey's head. Finally, Corey begins to speak. Corey Page: I won't keep you long. Steve Hebert: Yay! Corey looks over at Steve, who celebrates in his own way: by drinking down a bottle of liquor. Corey Page: Anyhow, seeing as how it's the last show of 2006, I've decided to give a little update on things. He clears his throat. Corey Page: First off, 2007 will see major things occuring. We'll see new wrestlers, as apparent by the debut of the Wifeys, Morgana and Adora, whom you all thought would never step into this ring. We'll also have new feuds, matches, tournaments and so on. In fact, starting in 2007, we will have a Tag Team Trophy that will be defended every two-three-four months or so via tournaments. And yes, everyone's partner will be chosen by them. There'll be no more randomly picking people to team. Lex Robinson: Hmm.. interesting. I guess the tag division is going to return... sort of. Steve Hebert: I, for one, welcome the return of more clusterfucks in 2007. Lex Robinson: "The more the merrier" is what I say. Corey Page: However, that's in the future. I'm here for the present. He holds up the plaques that are in his hand; all three of them. Corey Page: As you know, it's end-of-the-year time, which also means awards time... which also means Hall of Fame time! Lex Robinson: Oh boy. Upon overhearing this, the fans let out a huge roar. Steve Hebert: Who's made the cut this year, Lex? Lex Robinson: I guess we're about to see. Steve Hebert: Thanks be to Jesus. Corey holds up one of the plaques. Corey Page: Our first Hall of Fame inductee... you may know him as a former Televison Champion, a two-time World Champion... The fans pop at this. Corey Page: And just recently, he lobbed off Nikita's fingers, after retiring the Tag Team Titles with her... it's Tony Millennia! The lights go out as static begins washing across the screen. Meanwhile, "We're in This Together" by Nine Inch Nails commences, its distorted intro accompanying the staticky screen. That is, until the guitar comes screaming in. IIIIIIII'VE BECOME ...impossibleHolding on to when When everything seemed to matter more THE TWOOOOOO OF US ...all usedAll used and beaten up Watching fate As it flows Down the path We have chose Slipping through the static appears a giant (\/), while at the same time, exploding from behind the curtain, Tony Millennia makes his way down the aisle with fire in his eyes. Ignoring the screams of the fans, he makes his way straight for the ring, sliding in and heading straight for a corner. At last, he acknowledges the fans, throwing a fist into the air and causing them to absolutely lose it.
YOUUUUUU AND ME ...we're in this together nowNone of them can stop us now We will make it through somehow YOUUUUUU AND ME ...if the world should break in two Until the very end of meUntil the very end of you
Lex Robinson: We have our first recipient... Tony walks over to Corey Page, who easily hands him the plaque, which Tony rests near the same blood-stained Katana that he used to chop off Nikita's fingers. Steve Hebert: He better not get blood on that, or Corey will be pissed. Lex Robinson: At least it's not Nikita's period blood. Steve Hebert: Valid point. Lex Robinson: So... who's next?! As if questioning Corey, Lex patiently waits for Corey to call upon the next Hall of Fame recipient. As he does so, Tony Millennia steps into a corner, wielding his plaque and katana near his body, while Corey points towards the entranceway. Corey Page: You may know the next recipient as the most-hated, craziest, filthiest person alive. You may also know him as a former Platinum Champ, World Champ and multiple award winner. Personally, I call him my greatest rival. No, it's not Chris Carson; but it is... Chris Extreme! Rammstein's heavy German music of "Sonne" blasts the speakers. Dear world,
"Sonne" booms louder and Chris Extreme marches out exposing the swastika on his bare chest. He strolls down the aisle, rolls into the ring, snares at Tony Millennia and then whips the plaque out of Corey's hand, giving him a harsh stare. Steve Hebert: Chrishy! Oh god yes! It's Chrishy! He brought us the Wifeys, and now he is getting Hall of Fame honors. Lex Robinson: This is too weird... seeing Chris Extreme and Corey Page in the same ring like this. Steve Hebert: Believe me, I half expect Chris to whip out his cock and piss all over that award. Lex Robinson: I wouldn't put it past him. Grabbing his title and heading into an opposite corner, Chris Extreme stands quietly, not saying much, just looking over his newfound award, which he seems to greatly appreciate, oddly enough. Lex Robinson: ...But then again, he could just stroke it lovingly. Steve Hebert: He enjoys stroking things, too. Lex Robinson: ... Steve Hebert: ...I don't even know what I'm talking about. Lex Robinson: I didn't think so! Making sure Chris stays in his own corner, Corey keeps a keen eye on him, maintaining certainty that there'll be no cheapshots. In any event, he turns his attention back towards the entranceway, bringing the microphone back up to his mouth, as well. Corey Page: Finally, we have one more inductee! Lex Robinson: Hmm... is that so? Steve Hebert: Bollocks. Lex Robinson: You're French; you don't say bollocks. Steve Hebert: I'll say what I want. I just want this travesty over with. Chris Extreme has received his award, that's all that matters. Lex Robinson: Not according to Corey Page and these fans. Corey Page: You may also know our last inductee as a World Champion; you may also know our last inductee as the last person to hold the Television Title, until tonight, of course; and you may know our final inductee as... Destiny Daniels! The arena goes black and a low hiss is heard.
the Destiny whispers, "Your destiny awaits." and the music, "Maneater" by Nelly Furtado fades in harshly, cranked up to its highest setting possible.
Maneater, make you work hard! Make you spend hard! ...However, she doesn't come out. Lex Robinson: Uhh... Steve Hebert: I think we're missing someone, Lex. Lex Robinson: You can say that again. In the ring, Corey Page holds the plaque that denotes Destiny's Hall of Fame status, looking confused. Lex Robinson: She was supposed to be here... Steve Hebert: Pffft. She chickened out; all because of a silly little injury. So much for being a "badass". Lex Robinson: I don't know what's going on... she should be here by now! Steve Hebert: Any idiot could have foreseen this, Lex. Xander took her out for good. Didn't you see the X-Rays?! Standing in the ring, everyone looks puzzled, except for Chris, who is rubbing his Hall of Fame award against his crotch. Corey goes to announce something else... Corey Page: Uhm... I guess Destiny isn't here yet, folks. So... uh... I'll keep this and give it to her later, when she... uh... arrives. Standing around, not knowing what to do next, Corey drops the microphone, slinks out of the ring and walks to the back. Chris and Tony go to exit, until they bump into each other and soon begin to have a heated exchange of words. Steve Hebert: Uh ohs. Lex Robinson: A collision of egos! Remember, it was Tony that let the cat out of the bag, so to speak, about Chris Extreme stealing Corey Page's identity! Steve Hebert: He only wanted to fuck Kitty! Is that so bad, Lex?! Is it?! Lex Robinson: Considering that she is his sister, then yes. Steve Hebert: ...Oh. Lex Robinson: Here comes security to pull these two men away from each other. Steve Hebert: Awww, just when it was getting good! True to Lex's words, a barrage of Sin Wrestling security guards enter the ring and pluck both men away from each other, not wanting their egos to crash together. Nevertheless, they're eventually able to pull Tony to the back, while Chris Extreme remains in the ring, soaking up a rainfall of jeers.
Captain Isiah Morgan vs. Dan Black Fade in. Steve Hebert: Hey, here come the sluts. Lex Robinson: Yes, they are encircling the ring in preparation for the next match, Captain Isiah Morgan against Dan Black. Steve Hebert: Dan Black is such a nice fellow. Polite and well-behaved, as well as an upstanding citizen and role-model to children everywhere. Lex Robinson: Very true, except he’s the bad guy for some reason in this match against a pirate. He hasn’t actually explained why we should hate him, so we just will anyway. Steve Hebert: LOL!!! "The Seven Seas" by Captain Dan begins to play and Isiah Morgan dashes to the ring in his pirate garb. He slides under the bottom rope and walks crazily around the ring, waiting for the match to commence. Steve Hebert: What a faggoty douchebag who dresses himself up as a pirate to get over. Hello, lawsuit. Lex Robinson: Be nice to him, those are his wenches. He probably stole them fair and square, probably. Steve Hebert: Probably. By this time, Morgan’s music fades away and he is left walking in the ring, staring at the ample cleavage of the wenches. "Simple Design" by Breaking Benjamin goes off and Dan Black comes out from the back and then runs into the ring. He climbs each turnbuckle, pointing to the audience and he goes to the center of the ring and stomps his right foot, which ignites pyro all around the ringside area. Steve Hebert: HOORAY, IT’S DAN BLACK! Dan Black: HOORAY, IT’S DAN BLACK! Fans: HOORAY, IT’S DAN BLACK! Lex Robinson: Boo, it’s Dan Black. Steve Hebert: Boo, it's-- wait, no. Behind Dan Black, Isiah Morgan is attempting to grab the breasts of Heather Jarvis, one of the wenches. As the bell rings, Dan Black delivers a running boot to a kneeling Captain Morgan, hitting him square in the temple. Needless to say, the much smaller Isiah Morgan drops like a ton of bricks. Immediately following up, Dan Black raises Morgan and drops his again with a Belly-To-Belly Suplex. Dan Black goes for a cover, but only gets a two count. Lex Robinson: Oh, my Jesus, Dan Black has started off this match with an impact. What a no-good bad man he is, how dare he flatten that poor pirate captain/criminal person with his muscular strength?! Steve Hebert: Well, that was gay. Lex Robinson: Well, I have to get him over, no one else will! Even though he beat Flame! Steve Hebert: At this point, who hasn't? Lex Robinson: Dan Black has just delivered a running knee-drop on Captain Morgan, and is now putting the boots to him, forcing Morgan out of the ring. DAN BLACK IS A DASTARDLY VILLAIN! Steve Hebert: Well, alright. Go Dan Black. Anyway, the wenches are now slapping the terrible out of Captain Isiah Morgan! What a turn of events that is! Dan Black must have a far bigger cock than Morgan. Lex Robinson: His “cock” is probably the source of his meanness and intimidating persona, which is very scary. You should see him in person; he is 14 feet tall and eight thousand pounds. He is a monster, damn it. I hate him. Steve Hebert: On second thought, maybe his cock isn’t so large; I’ve heard that Heather Jarvis likes small cocks. Lex Robinson: By god, his cock is small. That is why I hate him so. Back in the ring/around the ring area, Captain Isiah Morgan is being beaten, kicked, and slapped around by “his” wenches. After several moments of this, Isiah rolls back into the ring and back to Dan Black, who winks at the wenches, who wink back. Lex Robinson: Captain Morgan has been taken aback by this, dare I say it, mutiny. He seems really off-balance. That dastardly bastard Dan Black looks like he’s going to capitalize, the evil man. Steve Hebert: Really gay. Shut the fuck up, Lex. Hey, Dan “The Dastardly Bastard” Black just hit a Sit-Out Powerbomb, and is pinning Captain Isiah Morgan. Lex Robinson: That is Dan Black’s finishing maneuver “The Hospitalizer!” What a brutal finishing maneuver that Dan Black, the monster, has! And he’s gotten the one, two, and three with it, the bastard. Steve Hebert: Holy fuck, Dan Black has won the wenches! Look at that, Lex, you gay, you. He’s walking out of here with a literal wench-train. Lex Robinson: Hello, lawsuit #2. Steve Hebert: Shut the goddamn up, you retard. Look at that, he’s sticking his tongue down their throats under the mistletoe we have hanging up above the stage. I wish I got hot action like Dan Black.
After the pinfall victory, Dan Black walks to the backstage area, having his women walking along with him; but not before stopping underneath the entrance, where mistletoe is located, and giving them all a sloppy kiss.
The scene turns to a semi-blustery Christmas Eve scene outside of tonight's arena, where all of the action is taking place. It's noticeable that the trees around the building are lit-up, decorated for the holidays; in fact, the arena itself is shown to have several lights and decorations plastered all around it. The cameras zoom in on the lights and the holiday decorations, giving the fans at home a festive feeling; until they suddenly zoom clearly in on someone with their backed turned, standing outside of the arena doors. This person, wearing a long trench-coat, complete with short silver hair, almost reminiscient of a past SW superstar, looks longingly at the arena, in the midst of several bursts of snow. After a final blustery blast, the camera loses its focus and the image of the silver-haired man can no longer be seen outside of the arena. Legit person or ghost from the past? You decide.
Fade into an earlier taped scene.
Arran Hayden: What would any man do if he came face-to-face with the person responsible for taking the life of his daughter? Pierce, answer me that. Could you not forgive and forget? No, of course you couldn’t. Why let revenge go to the prom without a prom date? It’s fucking suicide. Don’t worry, there is no need for you to pay for my damaged windshield or my visit to the doctor. Don’t even thank me for saving your life either. I only did it so I could continue to make your life a living hell. You will pay what you owe, even if it means digging up the past. Hell, why don’t we do that now. Let’s see. You killed my child and I killed yours. I put a bounty on your head and you smash mine through the windshield of my Porsche. That makes us even in terms of payback, right? Wrong!
Phayze vs. Arran Hayden vs. Jimmy Luciano vs. Trent Turner The lights die in the arena as Godsmack's "I Stand Alone" starts pouring through the PA system.
## Now I've told you this once before Two small red lights pulsate near the rafters at the back of the arena, then quickly shoot along a diagonal path over the crowd and to the entrance. As they reach the top of the rampway, they seem to explode, with the whole entrance area being covered in a pyro glare. The glare and smoke quickly disappear, leaving only the massive form of Phayze standing atop the entrance ramp with his head held downward.
## You're always hiding behind your so called goddess Phayze slowly makes a stride towards the ring, never raising his head to acknowledge the crowd for any reason. As he gets to the ring, he climbs upon the ring apron, turns towards the crowd and finally raises his head towards the fans. He extends his arms outward at his side as a quick series of pyros explode around the ring. Lex Robinson: First out to the ring is Phayze. This should be an exciting match, Steve. Steve Hebert: If by exciting you mean...exciting, then yes. Yes it should. Lex Robinson: You just always have to try and disagree with me, don't you. Steve Hebert: Yep, pretty much. The arena erupts into cheers as "Two Skins" by Soil blasts over the PA system. Arran Hayden steps out onto the ramp and assorted camera flashes begin in the audience. The fans continue to rock the arena, as Hayden puts his arms out and fireworks set off all around him. After returning his hands to his side, he proceeds toward the ring. Hayden slides under the ropes, gets to his feet, and runs up one of the turnbuckles. He pounds his chest with one arm, then bring both arms down to his waist. He moves them back and forth around his waist taunting that he wants gold. He jumps down off the turnbuckle and warms up using the ropes. Lex Robinson: In this match, there are two presents suspended by poles above the ring! Steve Hebert: Yep, I can see that... because they are being suspended. Lex Robinson: Well, I was explaining for everyone at home. Steve Hebert: If everyone at home could not decipher that, then they are idiots. ( Jay-Z voice over… ) “This is a state of emergency…” ( All of a sudden, the following flash on the screen... )
IMMORTAL LEGEND STATUS
THE PAST.THE PRESENT. THE FUTURE. "Show Me What You Got" by Jay-Z hits over the P.A. as the lights start to flicker until it becomes pitch black for a brief moment. Then a string of white, red, and green pyros explode as the lights slowly turn back on. The smoke clears, and Jimmy Luciano is standing at the top of the entrance ramp with his hands raised up. Luciano is wearing the usual black ring attire. He walks down slowly pacing himself. He then walks up the stairs, turns for a brief second and finally enters the ring… The crowd erupts. A “Luci” chant breaks out. Steve Hebert: Now would be a pretty good time for the power to go out, don't you think, Lex? Lex Robinson: What in the good fuck are you talking about, now? The lights in the arena go completely black. Suddenly, blue and yellow strobe lights begin to flash in the arena. “Build Your Cages" by Pulse Ultra hits the system, along with a large shot of pyro. The fans in the arena shoot out of their seats as Trent Turner makes his way through the curtain. Trent raises his arms and looks out at the crowd. The music begins to build up as Trent remains at the top of the ramp. Continuing the music, Trent begins to feel the build-up of the music. Finally, the music explodes and another large shot of pyro goes off as Trent raises his head and begins to walk to the ring. The fans are feeling the electricity from the entrance; as Trent climbs the steps to to stand on the apron. He turns to face the audience with a blank stare, anticipating his match, when a bright yellow spot light lands on him, as he glares out at the people. With the strobes and music still playing, Trent enters the ring and walks to the opposite side of the ring, using the ropes to stand on as he holds his arms into the air, listening to the audience cheer for him. Lex Robinson: Ah, look at this young buck from Detroit. Isn't he just a dashing fellow? Steve Hebert: Godawful. Lex Robinson: I know you are, but what am I?! Steve Hebert: Godawful. Anywho! The match starts off with Phayze and Trent Turner locking up, but that's quickly put to a halt with Jimmy Luciano dropkicking Phayze right in the back. Lex Robinson: Phayze turns around to face Luciano, but this leaves him wide open for Trent to give him a German Suplex. With Trent Turner and Phayze duking it out, Jimmy Luciano turns his attention to Arran Hayden, who has remained dormant so far. As Jimmy moves forward, he's caught offguard with a swinging neckbreaker by Arran Hayden. As Arran pounds away on Jimmy, focusing on his neck area, Phayze lands Trent on the mat with a tornado punch. With Turner satisfyingly down, Phayze puts his sights on Arran Hayden, who is wrenching back on Luciano's head. Steve Hebert: Look at that Phayze go. Lex Robinson: He sure Phayzed me. Steve Hebert: Be nice to that Bastard. Lex Robinson: Oh Steve, this could go on all day! But for now, Phayze is yanking Arran Hayden away from Luciano. Steve Hebert: Yep, and he's hooking him in a deadlock for a DDT! Lex Robinson: He lands it without any interruptions from the other two parties who are taking their sweet ass time getting up. Good lord. Steve Hebert: I think Luciano heard you. He's rising to his feet and making a quick run forward for a spear to Phayze. This spear brings Phayze down to the mat. Creeping up from behind, though, is Arran Hayden who decides to join Luciano in stomping Phayze deep into the mat. In the meanwhile, Trent Turner sees a great opportunity to make his way over to one of the poles. Out of the corner of his eye, Arran sees this happening and chases after him signalling Luciano to do the same. As Trent reaches with all he can to get the gift, Arran and Luciano try to pull him down, but Trent Turner resists. Lex Robinson: Trent's got two big guys tugging at his pants and he isn't Phayzed by it. Steve Hebert: Enough with the puns, asshole. But yeah, something kind of erotic about it, isn't it? Lex Robinson: Oh but, whoa, Phayze is coming from behind them and slips between Turner's legs. He yanks him away from the corner and powerbombs him! Steve Hebert: Fucking hot. In turn, he pulled the other two off the ropes, as well. Dear jesus, it's a train wreck. After the devastating move, even Phayze himself is a dazed by the sheer intensity of what he just pulled off. Dazed, but not down like the rest of his opponents, he sees the oppertunity to obtain one of the gifts. Carefully he begins his climb to reach one of the gifts and see what lies in store for him. Lex Robinson: We could be down to three men in just a second! Steve Hebert: Fuck Phayze! God damnit! Somebody stop him! Lex Robinson: I think Luciano heard you. He's scrambling to get back to his feet and pull Phayze down from there. In a desperate attempt to stop Phayze, Luciano digs down deep and leaps grabbing ahold of Phayze's leg, holding him back from ascending any further to grab the gift. Shaking and wiggeling his foot, trying to get Luci off doesn't do Phayze any good. With a tight grasp around his leg, Luci makes his way back to his feet and regains his balance. After landing some hard shots to the small of Phayze's back, Luci uses all his strength and rips Phayze off the turn buckle and sends him crashing down to the mat. Lex Robinson: That was a close one, Luci is a seasoned vet of the squared circle. If it was anyone else but him in this match, you can bet that Phayze would have walked out with one of the presents. Steve Hebert: Well it looks like we'll have someone walking away with a present right now! In the midst of your ramblings, Jimmy started climbing up and he's just about there! Lex Robinson: Phayze may have left a big opening for Luci when he landed that massive Powerbomb on his three opponents and it looks like Luciano is about to captalize! Steve Hebert: He did it! Jimmy Luciano has grabbed the red present! Luci has the present in hand and begins to descend down the ropes. He climbs through the ropes and down to the floor before opening it up. Everyone in the ring is beginning to stir and realize what has just happened. Only one present left. Lex Robinson: It look like Jimmy Luciano is the number one contender for the TV Title, Steve! Steve Hebert: Oh, my science. Looking disgusted, Jimmy drops the red gift on the floor and makes his way out of the arena. Lex Robinson: We have three men left in this thing and one more present to be giving out. The three men are all back to their feet and eyeing each other up. Steve Hebert: They look like a bunch of tigers ready to attack! RAWR! Lex Robinson: None of them look like they have any idea who they want to go after, Steve. Phayze quickly begins hammering away at Arran Hayden. He continues his assault finally cornering Hayden into the turnbuckle. Before he can capitalize, Trent Turner jumps off the third rope out of nowhere and delivers monstrous DDT onto Phayze. Hayden regains himself and is on top of Turner before he can even ground himself with a capture suplex. Lex Robinson: Oh here we go! These guys are fighting it out with everything they have left! Steve Hebert: After seeing what Luciano got out of the deal, can you blame them? Turner almost lands on top of Phayze, but Phayze catches him and lifts himself off of the canvas with Turner in his arms. Phayze throws Turner over his shoulders and he taunts for the crowd to get hyped for the coming Death Valley Driver. As he goes to execute it, Hayden speared him. Turner is unable to escape the move and his body crash to the mat below Phayze’s body. Lex Robinson: What a spear from Arran Hayden! This well-hung man could have just broke Phayze in half! Steve Hebert: ...Well-hung? Lex Robinson: Uh, yeah. Steve Hebert: I'm actually surprised on how these guys turned it on. I guess after seeing how quickly Luciano was able to get in and out of here, they want to leave their mark on the rest of the match. Arran drags Phayze away from Turner. He raises Phayze’s legs up and puts his foot inbetween them. He curves Phayze around and applies a Sharpshooter. Phayze screams in pain and tries to grab for the rope. Again, out of nowhere Turner shoots off the turnbuckle from behind Hayden and pulls off a spectacular hurricanrana. Lex Robinson: I don't know where Turner is digging down to pull these moves out! My god! Steve Hebert: The man has the stamina of a porn star, in more than one way, I'm sure. Lex Robinson: Oh my... From the force of it, Arran falls to the outside of the ring. Phayze wastes no time and kicks Turner in the gut. He puts his head between his legs and lifts Turner up into the air. He rushes toward the turnbuckle in attempt to deliver the Phayze Out, but Turner escapes it and Phayze collides with the turnbuckle. Trent takes advantage and begins climbing up to the pole. Lex Robinson: Trent is just about at the gift! This one is going to be over soon, folks! Just as Trent is about to tear down the gift, Arran Hayden comes out of nowhere and runs up the ropes next to Trent. Surprised by the athetlic ability of Arran, Trent is taken off guard while Hayden hits him with a Russian Leg Sweep from the top rope! Steve Hebert: What a move by Arran. For a guy his size, he really knows how to get around a ring. Lex Robinson: No kidding, Steve. That was a pretty impressive showing right there. With Phayze just coming to he takes his pick on who to go after, with both men down but Trent looking more hurt, he decides Arran. Walking torwards him slowly and obviously tired, Phayze is caught with a forearm to the nuts causing him to keel over. Steve Hebert: That's what I'm talking about! Punch him in the nuts! Yeah! Moving quickly, Arran locks Phayze in Fishermen position and then using all of his strength lifts him and drops down with a big Fisherman DDT. While the exchange was going on, Trent Turner has found his way to his feet and charges in at Hayden, but he's too aware and drops down to the mat and takes Trent down with a drop toe hold. Lex Robinson: Arran Hayden has complete and utter control of this match up. He's looking great in there right now. With both of his opponents down, he has the perfect oppertunity to climb to the top and grab the last present. However, looking tired he just slouches into a corner and tries to regain his stamina. In the mean time, Trent and Phayze both begin to rise to their feet and start duking it out with eachother, totally ignoring Arran for whatever reason. Lex Robinson: They better watch it; Arran is reaching up for that final box! Steve Hebert: He's gonna get it! Phayze realizes this and goes to re-enter the ring, but is held back by Trent Turner, who hooks onto his foot, keeping him on the outside. Lex Robinson: Damnit! This isn't right! Yet again, Phayze is on the floor, unable to stop something from happening! Arran Hayden is able to reach out and pull down the final gift! Steve Hebert: Yay! The match is over! Falling off the top turnbuckle, holding the box between his arm and his armpit, Arran Hayden quickly yanks it in front of him. Like a Scrooge, he makes sure no one is able to take it away from him; tearing open the gift paper and then pulling off the cover. Lex Robinson: What is it? Hmm? Steve Hebert: It's a title shot at the Lust Title! Lex Robinson: Right on. Vincent Kane versus Arran Hayden a possible future match? I like it! Steve Hebert: Meh!
Victorious, Arran Hayden exits the ring, quickly slithering his way to the back, while Phayze and Trent Turner continue brawling.
Billy Badson: Good showing tonight, kid. Win or lose, I like your style. Arran Hayden snarls back, grimacing from injuries sustained in his match. He stares down at the much older man. Arran Hayden: Who the fuck do you think you are? Kid?! I’m twenty-eight, gramps. Step off! Hayden shoves a big hand into Badson’s face, banging the older man’s head against the hallway walls. Badson slumps to the floor, shaking off the cobwebs, as Hayden stomps down the hall. Billy Badson: Just you wait, son! I’ll see if Mr. Page will give me a chance to teach you to RESPECT the old school! Arran Hayden stops, mid-step, and turns back to Badson from down the hallway, with a sick snarl on his face. He heads back Billy’s way, pausing right in front of him, staring down face to face, his eyes inches from Badson’s. Arran Hayden: Look, old man. I’m nobody’s fool. I know your comeback story. I also know how you came up short thanks to that busted ticker of yours. He points harshly at Billy’s chest, as Billy raises a hand over his heart almost instinctively. Arran Hayden: And I also know why you came back. To pay for that kid of yours. My advice stands. STEP. OFF. With one last rough finger-point into Badson’s chest, Hayden turns, leering back at Billy over one shoulder. Arran Hayden: Or your kid won’t EVER have a daddy to look up to…just a guy who busted his dad’s heart…for good. Billy Badson watches Arran Hayden disappear into his locker room, as Billy shakes his head defiantly. He heads down the same hallway Hayden headed down, except he stops short, knocking on the door labelled “Corey Page: I Will Beat You Up With Words on the Internet…” The rest of the words are blurred as the image fades to black.
Trenton Pierce vs. Kyphael Those three words on the Titantron can only mean one thing, the arrival of Trenton Pierce...
The crowd jumps to their feet to cheer on the incoming legend. Trenton Pierce walks onto the stage to an array of fireworks that pump up the crowd even more. He descends to the ring, catching as many of the audience members as he can with a simple hand slap on the way. Once he gets to the ring, he steps up on the apron and throws his right fist into the air before stepping between the ropes and into the ring. He jumps at the far turnbuckle and raises his hands in a celebratory manner, even hitting every turnbuckle before beginning his pre-match warm-up. He stands in the corner, waiting for the match to start. "I Dare You" by Shinedown plays and Kyphael simply walks down to the ring with a towel draped around his shoulders. Upon reaching the ring, to a flickering of lights, he discards the towel into the crowd and enters the ring, starting to warm up by doing squat thrusts. Lex Robinson: Finally, the tournament has worked it's way down to these two competitors. Steve Hebert: Finally, a champion may be crowned that doesn't stink. As Kyphael is doing his little warm up, mid squat, he's kicked in the face by Trenton Pierce, starting the match. Trenton pulls Kyphael up by the hair and whips him into the ropes. Lex Robinson: Kyphael comes running back, only to be taken down with a killer of a clothesline. Steve Hebert: Kyphael looks confused. Lex Robinson: But Trenton's not giving him any time to think about how he got down on the mat. He's picking him back up, over his head, for a jackhammer! Flattened out on the mat, Trenton Pierce begins unloading several stomps all over Kyphael's body. Trenton gives Kyphael time to make his own way to his feet before locking his arms around him, from behind and attempting a back-to-belly suplex. Steve Hebert: Kyphael's working his way out of this one with elbows to Trenton's head! Lex Robinson: Let's remind the audience that the Television title is on the line. These two competitors have worked their way through a tournament to get to where they are! Steve Hebert: Yep. After this match, it'll be the first time in over a year that this title has been worn. It was last worn by none-other than Destiny Daniels, that little skank. Lex Robinson: Yes, she is a pretty one. Steve Hebert: I said skank, Lex. She's a skanky one. Lex Robinson: Oh shit! Kyphael just sent Trenton writhing in pain with a triple rib breaker. Kyphael follows up by dropping down with his knee into the center of Trenton's chest. With Pierce grabbing his chest, Kyphael attempts an early pin. ...1 Steve Hebert: Kyphael only gets a one count before Pierce kicks out. Lex Robinson: Kyphael's jumping to his feet and Pierce slowly follows, however, is grabbed right away and whipped into the ropes. Steve Hebert: Pierce holds on! Oh, but Kyphael runs forward and clotheslines him over the ropes... Lex Robinson: And flat into the other ring! Following up with this, Kyphael climbs to the top turnbuckle and steps over to the turnbuckle of the second ring. Jumping off, he hopes to land a double stomp on Trenton Pierce, but Pierce rolls out of the way. Lex Robinson: Pierce appears behind Kyphael! Steve Hebert: He's giving it to him from behind! Lex Robinson: You mean, he's turning him around for a German suplex. Steve Hebert: Yes, that. Lex Robinson: Oh, but Kyphael doesn't stay down for long and...goes for a German suplex on Pierce? Steve Hebert: Yep, now he's pulling him up for an overhead belly-to-belly suplex. Lex Robinson: Slowly, Pierce returns to his feet only to dish out his own over-head belly-to-belly! Steve Hebert: Holy shit, Pierce is waiting for Kyphael to get to his feet and attacks him with a spear! Lex Robinson: After some time, Kyphael counters with his own spear! Steve Hebert: For fuck's sake, this is getting confusing. The two opponents look at each other stangely as if they were looking into a circus mirror. Finally, though, they lock up throwing each other into a battle of wills. Eventually, Pierce begins kneeing Kyphael to the gut forcing him to let go. As he does, Piece grabs Kyphaels head and smashed it against his knee. Kyphael keeps his footing but stumbled back and forth before recieving a superkick to the jaw, causing him to tower over onto the mat. Lex Robinson: Pierce is going for a pin. ...1...2.. Steve Hebert: Kyphael kicks out! That’a boy. Lex Robinson: He gets to his feet and Trenton Pierce is waiting with a Russian Leg sweep, taking his opponent back down to the mat. Steve Hebert: Those fucking Russians. Lex Robinson: They're good peoples. Trenton, once again, pulled Kyphael to his feet, but Kyphael fires back with a barrage of left and right fists. With his new found momentum, Kyphael yanks Trenton's head into a headlock and snaps back for a snap DDT. Continuing the page, Kyphael pulls his opponent up and whips him into the ropes. When Trenton comes shooting back, Kyphael is ready, hooks his arm and whipshim into the air before having him slam his back down on the mat. Next, he goes for the arm bar. Lex Robinson: Trenton’s trying to fight it! Oh but he’s too close to the ropes and grabs a hold of them. Steve Hebert: God damn it. This match makes no sense. Lex Robinson: Kyphael looks anything but happy right now. Steve Hebert: Rightfully so! Fuck this Pierce guy. Lex Robinson: You’d like that, wouldn’t you. Steve Hebert: Sadly, yes. Holding his arm, Trenton makes his way to his feet only to dodge a running attack by Kyphael. But in the process of dodging it, he lifts Kyphael over his shoulder and sends him over the rope. Unfortunately for Pierce, he lands on the apron, on his feet. Pierce turns around and Kyphael grabs his head and pulls his throat down across the top rope while leaping off the apron. Trenton snaps back and lands on the mat. Steve Hebert: Go Kyphael, go! Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles! Lex Robinson: Huh? Steve Hebert: Look at that stud casually walking up the steps and back into the ring. He’s so smooth. Lex Robinson: Uh, you’re scaring me, dude. Steve Hebert: Yeah. Yeah, you like that. Lex Robinson: Uh, Kyphael’s looking far too cocky to see that he’s walking right into a powerbomb attempt by Trenton Pierce! Steve Hebert: Pierce is being a naughty little boy, looks like I’ll have to shove some coal up his ass. Lex Robinson: Kyphael is up on Trenton’s shoulders – Steve Hebert: But Kyphael grabs Pierce’s head and smashes it into the mat! What a good boy, come sit on Santa’s lap. Lex Robinson: Dude, seriously, knock it off. Steve Hebert: Hey, you loved where I put that candy cane earlier. Lex Robinson: Haha, oh boy. Steve Hebert: Stop being such a flaming fucking homo faggot and pay attention to the match, my Jesus. Kyphael looks about ready to finish this one off. Kyphael waits for Trenton Piece to stumble to his feet on his own accord. When this happens, he lifts Pierce up into a fireman’s carry and shows off his strength by holding him up in the air. Ruthlessly, he falls to the side, smashing Pierce’s skull into the mat. Lex Robinson: Kyphael is going for the pin! ...1 ...2 Steve Hebert: I think he has it! ...3! Lex Robinson: Kyphael is the new Television Champion! Steve Hebert: Finally, someone gets that fucking title. This stud could go on to great things just like the last holder, Destiny Slutty Daniels did!
Trenton slithers out of the ring and walks backstage in defeat while Kyphael
is handed his newly won title. He holds it high, receiving quite the mixture
of cheers and jeers.
At the head of the table is Corey Page, who is surrounded by the Wifeys, Morgana and Adora, Betsy the Goat and Booger, who has a turkey, some chicken, a yam, fries, nachos, spaghetti, soup and a carrot on his plate. Sitting at the table, Corey Page taps his fork off a glass, getting everyone's attention. Ding, ding, ding, ding. Corey Page: Can I have your attention, everyone? Just as he does that, everyone gathered around the table turn their attention away from their food and gawk at Corey; including Chris Extreme, who is at the opposite end of the room, sitting all alone, looking like a miserable bastard. Corey Page: I want to thank you all for coming here tonight and sharing this evening with us. I'm glad you all came to watch our final match of 2006 and share in this feast, celebrating the birth of a great man. That man being Santa Claus. After Corey speaks, everyone says "Rest in Peace". Corey Page: It's unfortunate that he died tonight will wrestling Chris Extreme. However...! Corey speaks with much enthusiasm. Corey Page: We have found a replacement! Upon speaking those words, Corey taps Booger on his right shoulder, surprising him, almost causing him to choke on a chicken bone. With a huge gulp, though, Booger is able to swallow the carcass and look around, wondering what is going on. Corey Page: Booger, with your belly so big, won't you ride that sleigh tonight? Booger still looks around, not knowing what to say. Booger: Will there be food? Corey Page: Yes. Booger: Deal! Everyone finally loves Booger, as they shout out in glee. You can bet that Booger will go down in history. ...Well, right after he finishes the waffle he slops onto his plate. Corey Page: You eat up and then, later tonight, you deliver gifts to boys and girls worldwide. Booger: [speaking with food in his mouth, crumbs going everywhere] All k. Yay! Corey Page: And now, for our next subject. Our Christmas Tree. Wifeys, this one is up to you. Corey pulls out a pink star and hands it over to Morgana and Adora, who giggle, and then place the pink star at the top of the tree. Corey Page: There's one more matter left to resolve. Next, Corey points at Chris Extreme. Corey Page: Yes, Chris, I see you at the bottom of the table, barely any food on your plate. Well, come up here and get some! Feeling as if his heart has grown two-sizes, Chris pushes his chair out from the table and begins to walk towards Corey, hoping to get something good to eat. He walks past Dan Black and his women, who cuddle with him; Konstantin Bryzgalov and Brody Reno, who are arguing in between taking bites of food; and Kyphael, who has his newly-won Television Title strapped around his waist, while sitting at the table. Finally, Chris arrives next to Corey, holding out his plate, hoping to get something nice and tasty. Corey Page: Here you go. Grabbing a spoon, Corey lifts up a single green pea and places it in the middle of Chris Extreme's plate, which has a swastika designed on the middle of it. Corey Page: Don't get too full! Chris's jaw drops and anger seethes his soul, as everyone laughs at his expense. Grumbling obscenities to himself, he walks away, holding the pea on his plate. Corey Page: With that said and done, let's eat and watch the last match of 2006! Just as Corey requests, the feast begins... and so does the main event!
Flame/Destiny Daniels/Danny Boy Vegas/Nikita vs. Xander Gates/Shane Donovan/Vincent Kane/Tony Millennia The lights in the arena dim, with a single spotlight shining down towards the ringside area, which now has the closed-in cage snapped tightly around both rings, which lay side-by-side. Lex Robinson: Two rings... a closed-cage... I do believe it is main event time! This is the match that everyone has been waiting for! Steve Hebert: Someone drop a bomb because we're going to war. Lex Robinson: Heck yeah. Steve Hebert: We even have an amputee in this War Games match! Think we'll have a death? God, hope we'll have a death. This is going to be great. Let's just hope that Flame loses that goddamn World Title. Lex Robinson: Well, before anything gets underway, I think it's key to remind everyone of the stipulations. Roll the tape.
The camera shot returns to the ringside area. Steve Hebert: Jesus, that blue screen blinded me. Lex Robinson: Indeed. However, your eyes better soon clear-up, or you'll miss the most anticipated match in Sin Wrestling in years! Steve Hebert: You're really hyping this up, aren't you? Lex Robinson: Yes! Random officials around the ringside area circle around the cage and the two rings, making sure everything is in place. One of them opens up the cage door, allowing for the first two team members to enter. Lex Robinson: Remember, Team Flame will have the disadvantage, thanks to Flame and Danny Boy Vegas coming out on the losing end to Xander Gates and Tony Millennia at the last Eternity. Steve Hebert: You know, I'm pretty sure Flame has lost every match he's had since he won that title. Lex Robinson: Your point being? Steve Hebert: Flame is useless and the title is cursed; that's my point. Lex Robinson: Eh... anyhow, it'll be a member of Team Flame and Team Xander fighting in those rings for 5 minutes. Once those 5 minutes are up, a member of Team Xander will enter the chaos and it'll remain that way for 2 minutes, until a member of Team Flame is finally allowed to enter the ring. It continues this way until everyone is locked inside; and then -- and only then -- that someone may win the match via pinfall, knockout or submission. Steve Hebert: Basically, you're saying we're going to have all-out carnage and warfare. Lex Robinson: Yep! Steve Hebert: Frickin' sweet. Lex Robinson: We're about to bring out the first member of Team Flame; who will it be? A spotlight shines towards the entrance, officially getting things underway... Lex Robinson: It's... Steve Hebert: An amputee! Lex Robinson: No, it's Nikita! The arena goes dark and whitish blue strobe lights flash to the beat of "Save Yourself" by Stabbing Westward, which erupts over the speakers in the arena. Nikita steps out onto the stage and then makes her way down to the ringside area.
Your soul has suffered such abuse But I am not your savior I am just as fucked as you
I can't even save myself!
Steve Hebert: It shows her stupidity, if you ask me. If you had your goddamn fingers chopped off by a raving lunatic, would you wrestle? No, no, I didn't think so! Lex Robinson: You didn't let me respond... Steve Hebert: And on top of that, she is wearing a new bandage. Do you know why? Because of Vincent Kane nearly ripping her entire hand to shreds at the last Eternity card! That's why! The referee had to step in and call the match, due to so much bloodloss! Lex Robinson: That won't be happening tonight, though. The only way you can win is by making someone from the opposing team tap out, pin them or just knock them completely out. And if you're lucky enough to beat someone that holds a title, you walk away with it. Steve Hebert: Hey, maybe Nikita can cash in on winning the Lust Title this time. Steve chuckles to himself. Steve Hebert: Yeah, right. Just like how she FAILED at the last Eternity. Lex Robinson: Jesus, Steve, calm down. Steve Hebert: Hey, it's true. She failed then and her team will fail tonight... except for maybe Danny Boy Vegas, who'll pick up the slack from not having Destiny Daniels on their team. I mean, she has yet to arrive. Lex Robinson: Ehh... Destiny is here... somewhere... I'm sure. I just fear Danny Boy Vegas will decide to team with his Society teammates and self-destruct on his own team. Steve Hebert: [sarcastic] Yeah, what a tragedy that would be. Lex Robinson: Anyhow, Nikita is in the ring and she's waiting on who she'll be locked in with for 5 straight minutes. Let's see who it is... The lights go out as static begins washing across the screen. Meanwhile, "We're in This Together" by Nine Inch Nails commences, its distorted intro accompanying the staticky screen. That is, until the guitar comes screaming in. IIIIIIII'VE BECOME ...impossibleHolding on to when When everything seemed to matter more THE TWOOOOOO OF US ...all usedAll used and beaten up Watching fate As it flows Down the path We have chose Slipping through the static appears a giant (\/), while at the same time, exploding from behind the curtain, Tony Millennia makes his way down the aisle with fire in his eyes. Ignoring the screams of the fans, he makes his way straight for the ringside area, where he grabs a chair from the front row and brings it with him inside of the ring.
YOUUUUUU AND ME ...we're in this together nowNone of them can stop us now We will make it through somehow YOUUUUUU AND ME ...if the world should break in two Until the very end of meUntil the very end of you
Lex Robinson: Oh boy... oh Jesus! Steve Hebert: Haha, poor Nikita! She's going to have the rest of her fingers chopped off! Just as Tony enters, though, Nikita is quick to defuse any sort of attack from him. Lex Robinson: Nikita charges at Tony, connecting with a running dropkick! The match is on! The lights return throughout the arena and the referees feverishly lock the door, keeping both of them inside for the next 5 minutes, until the next member of Team Xander can come in. Lex Robinson: Nikita forces Tony to drop the chair and continues beating on him! Steve Hebert: Her little stump of a hand is pounding his face, too! Oh dear. Lex Robinson: Well, she has had those fingers repaired, but still. Steve Hebert: Oh, who cares? She's just punching the snot out of him! Having Tony backed up against the ropes, she continues stomping and kicking him, wanting revenge for what he has done to her. Eventually, she gets him to a kneeling position and lays him face-first against the middle turnbuckle, as she delivers a series of wicked knees to the back of his head and upper-back. Lex Robinson: Pow! Pow! Pow! Nikita is showing no mercy; and I don't blame her! Steve Hebert: That's easy for you to say; you have fingers! Lex Robinson: Uhm... well... you have a point. Steve Hebert: She's even grabbing the chair that Tony brought in and is laying it up against the middle turnbuckle pad, which she uses to rest Tony's face against. She steps into the opposite corner and charges... Lex Robinson: Hearing her stampede towards him, Tony rolls away, resulting in Nikita smashing knee-first into the chair! He takes that chair away from the turnbuckle pad, holds it up and then proceeds to whack it against Nikita's back, forcing her to slump over in a pile! Steve Hebert: What a way to start this monstrousity. Lex Robinson: Dropping the chair, Tony pulls Nikita away from her slumped-over position in the corner, and then heaves her overhead with a backdrop driver, seeing her crumple directly on her skull! Steve Hebert: First, she had severed fingers; and now, she probably has a broken neck. Tony Millennia is heartless to that poor girl... and, quite frankly, I like it! Lex Robinson: You would, wouldn't you? Steve Hebert: Yep! Tony even pulls her up by her hair and then hip-tosses her into the side of the cage, smashing her body up against the steel! Me likey! Grabbing Nikita's injured hand, Tony starts gnawing on it, wanting the same massive bloodflow to return this week, as it had last week. Realizing her predicament, Nikita fights back, though, despite having been thrown back-first against the cage. Lex Robinson: She's not going to let him bite off her surgically repaired fingers! Steve Hebert: ...I never thought I'd actually hear someone say that. Lex Robinson: Ditto. Nikita sends some stiff forearm shots to Tony's skull, fighting him back, giving her the chance to spring up to her feet, kick Tony in the gut and then back him up against the side of the ring with some more fists. She steps into the opposite set of ropes, bounces off them and returns with a crossbody block at Tony, which topples them both over the top rope... Steve Hebert: And onto the second ring's apron! Our rings are side-by-side, so it's giving everyone much more space to knock the shit ouf of each other. On the apron of the second ring, Tony and Nikita rise, with both nemesises hammering each other with various chops, slaps and punches to the body. After blocking a punch from Nikita, Tony grabs onto Nikita's hand and then slings it across the top rope, most likely injuring it even further. Lex Robinson: Nikita howls out a wicked screech, as her hand is draped over that top rope! Steve Hebert: And Tony is squeezing and tugging on it, too! I think I see some blood! Lex Robinson: Yup, you're indeed right. Droplets of blood are already starting to flow in this match, as Tony and Nikita brawl on the side of that ring apron. One more time, Tony goes to guillotine her hand over the top rope, but before he can do it, she kicks him between the legs, giving him an amazing lowblow! Steve Hebert: I think Tony's testicles just flew out of his mouth. Lex Robinson: Even if they haven't, I'm sure Nikita will gladly cut them off for him. Steve Hebert: Yeesh. Never bring that up again. That's just too far. Lex Robinson: There's no such thing as "too far" in Sin Wrestling, where we have people eating each other, literally, might I add. Steve Hebert: Ahh, that Booger... what a guy. Using some dirty tactics to fend Tony off, Nikita uses the fingers on her "good" hand to gauge into Tony's eyes, holds onto the set of ropes from the first and second ring, propels herself into the air and then promptly delivers a mule-like kick to Tony's chest, knocking him backwards. Lex Robinson: Nikita kicks Tony back a few feet. She's stepping into the second ring, now. She bounces off the ropes, springboards off the adjacent middle rope and hovers back, connecting with a malicious dropkick to Tony that keeps him stuck in between the two rings! Steve Hebert: Agh. Poor Tony. He drops on his face, which sets Nikita off even further. How much time is left until the next "Team Xander" member arrives, Lex?! Lex Robinson: We still have roughly 2-3 minutes or so. Steve Hebert: Goddamnit. Nikita is going to use that time to her advantage and destroy Tony Millennia! Lex Robinson: Very true words, Steve. Reaching out from inside ring #2, Nikita grasps on to Tony's face, wrenching his head back and choking him over the middle rope. As she is in the ring, and Tony is on the apron portion, she places his head and neck region over the middle rope, and then steps on his head, using it to propel herself into the air. On her way down, she sticks out her right leg and guillotine legdrops Tony's head/neck across that middle rope! Steve Hebert: Oh Jesus almighty! This is awful! Tony is gagging! Lex Robinson: He deserves it! Steve Hebert: Maybe you're right. And maybe Nikita deserved having her fingers sliced off, too! Lex Robinson: My God, you're ridiculous. Switching from Ring #2 to Ring #1, Nikita walks over to the steel chair that Tony had brought into the ring, picks it up, studies it and then waits for the former World Champ to rise. Steve Hebert: What's that awful cunt doing now? Lex Robinson: She's measuring him up, apparently. When the time is perfect, she throws the chair at Tony's skull, creating a sickening thud when it smacks against his forehead. Lex Robinson: Oh Jesus! Still trapped between the two ring aprons, Tony falls against the ropes of the second ring, barely able to hold himself up, while Nikita grins at what she has just done. She's getting her vengeance right now, and boy, is it sweet. Steve Hebert: Christ. There's one minute left... hurry up, someone! Lex Robinson: Again, Nikita picks up the chair and studies it, laughing at the fact that a tiny trickle of Tony's blood has begun to pour out onto it. She decides to throw it at Tony, who at the last minute, catches it, only to have Nikita offer up a springboard dropkick which sends her from one ring to the other, connecting both feet against the chair, in the process! Steve Hebert: It obviously smashes into Tony's skull, again! This is horrible! Lex Robinson: 30 seconds remain, though... Steve Hebert: You're right! Soon, she'll be outnumbered and this foolishness will stop. Lex Robinson: We'll see. Inside of the second ring, Nikita commences stomping and kicking at Tony, who manages to roll back into the first ring, which is where the door to the cage is located. Climbing over to it, Nikita grabs the chair, sits Tony on it and then runs towards the adjacent set of ropes. Steve Hebert: We're down to ten seconds... Lex Robinson: Nikita hits a springboard moonsault onto Tony, toppling both he and the chair over! Steve Hebert: We're down to five seconds...! Who's is it gonna be?!
Lex Robinson: It's Shane-Do! Steve Hebert: Haha, this is not looking swell for Nikita. So much for controlling things. Lex Robinson: On top of all that, she seems quite preoccupied with beating down and stomping Tony, thus Shane slithering into the ring is not caught in her attention! Steve Hebert: Well, good! Lex Robinson: Seeing a wide opening, Shane strides forward, clasps both hands together and double-axehandle Nikita in the back of her neck! Steve Hebert: Down she goes! On her knees, which is a normal spot for her. Lex Robinson: Shane continues kicking and stomping at Nikita's head, snapping her face in a 90 degree angle. Of course, that doesn't stop him from pummeling Nikita, who, incidentally has been an enemy of Shane Donovan's newfound clan of thugs, Society. Steve Hebert: Thugs, Lex? You don't see them robbing stores, do you? Lex Robinson: You know what I mean. Picking Nikita up by her hair, Shane headbutts her, smashes her face off the side of the cage and then heaves her over the top rope, sending her flying into the second ring. Steve Hebert: Nikita just turned into a human-dart, Lex! Did you see that? Lex Robinson: I did. She was flung quite far by Shane; throwing her into the second ring. Steve Hebert: Yeah, but before he joins Nikita on the other side, he tries to revive Tony, slapping him across the face. Imagine what a 2-on-1 on Nikita would be like. Come to think of it, it sounds like a regular night for Nikita -- a 2-on-1; get it? Lex Robinson: You miserable bastard, shut up. Steve Hebert: K. Abandoning Tony, Shane exits into the second ring, which is where Nikita is located, trying to get to her feet and trying to stop the flow of blood from her hand. Seeing what she's doing, Shane is quick to follow in, hounding her like prey. Lex Robinson: Shane stomps on her injured hand! Goddamn, that was brutal! Steve Hebert: What's even better is that he is now smashing that hand off the cage! I think a squirt of blood just went into the front row! Lex Robinson: Sickening. After twisting Nikita's hand off the cage, Shane Donovan hoists her up onto his right shoulder and then charges towards the side of the cage, bashing her skull-first against the steel, which Tony Millennia, who has climbed to his feet in the first ring, seems to enjoy. Lex Robinson: As Tony gets to his feet in the other ring, Shane Donovan lifts a bloody Nikita back up, bites her forehead and then whips her into the ropes. Upon her return, he goes to throw her up into the air for a fallaway slam... but she latches onto the top of the cage! Steve Hebert: Oh crap. Who does she think she is? Spiderman?! Hanging from the top of the cage, she negates a running forearm attack from Shane Donovan by placing both of her feet together and kicking him off with such a force that it knocks him up against the ropes. Lex Robinson: Shane Donovan springs back... only to have Nikita release her grip on the top of the cage and land on his shoulders, hoping to hurricanrana him! Steve Hebert: She almost has him down, but Shane is able to power his way out. He lifts her back up... Lex Robinson: But again, she tries for another hurricanrana...! Steve Hebert: But this time, Tony is there to make the save! He stops her from dropping back, pushes her back onto Shane's shoulders, which allows Shane to release her overhead! As a result, she crashes face and body first against the side of the cage! Lex Robinson: Oooouuuuch! Jesus! Steve Hebert: Seriously. Nikita is then peeled off the side of the cage by Tony, who angrily throws her onto the canvas, smashing the back of her skull off the mat! Lex Robinson: Goddamnit, the next Team Flame member can't get down here soon enough! Steve Hebert: There's about 30 seconds left, so there's lots of time for Tony and Shane to amputate Nikita's entire hand! Fuck fingers; they may as well lob off her head. Using a double-team effort, both Tony and Nikita contain Nikita in the corner, where they continuously bash her with kicks and stomps; with Tony, at one point, even throttling her throat with his right foot. Steve Hebert: As we countdown the next entrant, we're going to have Nikita choke-to-death in the ring. Awesome! Lex Robinson: We're under ten seconds... it'll be a member of Team Flame; but who?
"I am the one that you dream about."
On the large screen, the face of Hecate is shown, slowly fading away only to reveal her tombstone. Standing next to the tombstone is Flame, who can be seen with a tear dropping from his face, which soon turns from sorrow to pain. Without warning, the flashing stops and silence covers the arena. Once again, a booming sound is heard and fire shoots from the turnbuckle pads, revealing Flame standing in the first ring, wielding two sets of chairs -- one in each hand. Lex Robinson: Flamey! Steve Hebert: It's Flamin' time! Lex Robinson: He's on fire! Steve Hebert: He's going to shoot a fireball out of his cock! Lex Robinson: ... Steve Hebert: Well, he might! Becoming aware of Flame's presence, Shane Donovan turns away from Nikita, leaving her all to Tony, who continues to batter her with knees to the face. Lex Robinson: Shane Donovan is coming for Flame. He exits the second ring and is about to enter the first, when Flame drops one of the chairs, charges forward and smacks it against Shane's back, halting him from entering! Now that's how you stop someone in their tracks! Steve Hebert: Booo! Lex Robinson: Furthermore, Flame drags Shane in by his hair, stomps on his head, picks him up, jabs the edge of the chair into his gut and then Irish-whips him across the ring. With fury, Shane bounces off the set of ropes, only to run right into a massive chairshot from Flame, which nearly knocks Shane's head off! Steve Hebert: Fuck! I want Nikita to be decapitated; not Shane Donovan! Lex Robinson: Nikita is currently busy, trying to fend off more punches from Tony Millennia. However, she is soon rescued by Flame, who enters the second ring, walks up behind Tony and smashes the unused chair into his upper-back! Steve Hebert: Son of a bitch! Lex Robinson: Things are about to change! Steve Hebert: And we still have over a minute for our next Team Xander member! This is awful! Lex Robinson: Hell yes. Taking advantage of this fact, Flame lifts Tony up, knees him in the gut and then aides Nikita in getting to her feet. Flame steps behind Tony, opens up the chair, hoists Tony up into a back-suplex position and then calls for Nikita, who runs forward, leaps into the air and hooks onto Tony's neck! They nail a back-suplex/leaping neckbreaker combination on Tony... who also lands on that open chair! Steve Hebert: Ah, for fuck's sake. That may have broken Tony's neck! Rolling to his feet in the first ring, Shane Donovan doesn't like what he sees, so he opts to do something about it. As Flame and Nikita have their back turned, he walks onto the apron of the second ring, climbs to the top rope behind the other two and waits for them to turn around. Lex Robinson: Flame picks up the second chair... Steve Hebert: Wait, Shane is on to something... Lex Robinson: You're right. He waits until Nikita and Flame to turn around... he then leaps off with a flying crossbody block! Before long, though, Flame uses his second chair to heave at a flying Shane Donovan, literally knocking him out of the air! Steve Hebert: Oh, Jesus! No! Shane Donovan falls out of the sky, like a bird shot in the asshole. Lex Robinson: Shane should have leaped off quicker, or something. Because of that mistimed jump, he now has a steady flow of blood coming down his face; and Flame is quick to capitalize on that. Steve Hebert: How typical. Lex Robinson: He is the World Champ for a reason, Steve. Steve Hebert: Oh, come on; Flame is even more of a fluke champion than Regan Chambers! That World Title is cursed, I tell ya! As Flame focuses solely on Shane, and Nikita turns to Tony, they both begin to beat down their opponents, using a flurry of kicks and stomps; the type of all-out brawling moves you'd see in a match like this. Nikita turns around, shouts to Flame, who then reciprocates. Together, they decide to whip their opponent at each other. Lex Robinson: They're pointing to the center of the ring. I think Flame and Nikita want to smash Tony and Shane together. Steve Hebert: Oh Christ; what a terrible idea. Lex Robinson: Having backed Tony and Shane into parallel corners, they then whip each of them out; both of them colliding in the center of the ring -- Shane's bloody forehead smashing off Tony's face! Steve Hebert: Ugh! Lex Robinson: Not only that, but as they bounce off each other, Flame and Nikita rush forward and connect with a dropkick to each competitor's back, sending them crashing into each other, for the second straight time! Steve Hebert: This is getting even worse. Can't someone just go for a pinfall and end this shit? Lex Robinson: They can't! They have to wait until everyone is inside! Steve Hebert: God, how forgot about that. How stupid. Lex Robinson: We're about 30 seconds away from having the next Team Xander member, though, Steve. Remember, they hold the handicap in their favor. Steve Hebert: [mumbles] Some favor that turned out to be. Flame tosses Nikita a chair, and they both strike Shane and Tony with horrifying chairshots, which results in blood being spilled all over the ring by both men. Lex Robinson: Next, Flame and Nikita open up two chairs and set them up near the corner. They sit Tony and Shane on a chair, each. Flame motions for Nikita to climb to the top rope, possibly to inflict even more damage on these two, which would offer them much help, considering the handicap is against them. Steve Hebert: She's up on the top turnbuckle, oh God... wait...! Before Nikita can do anything of substance, though, Tony suddenly snaps himself awake and pummels Flame with a devastating elbow to the bridge of Flame's nose, possibly even breaking it, which is apparent by the blood pouring from it. Seeing this, even Shane Donovan jumps into action. Steve Hebert: Tony with a wicked shot to Flame's face! They're not out of it, yet! He even gets off the chair and starts attacking Flame, while Shane Donovan also suddenly "snaps out of it". He leaps off his chair and lurches into the corner, grabbing onto Nikita before she can backflip off. Lex Robinson: Uh oh... this may not be good for her...! Especially now that we're just ten seconds away from our next Team Xander represe |